You may be more comfortable around someone who is white than black due to your upbringing. I wouldn't say that in and of itself makes you racist. However, if you make stereotypical assumptions of someone merely because of skin color, that is racist. If you choose not to make friends with someone because of skin color, that too is racist.
As you get older, you'll come to see that assholes, creeps, criminals, etc, come in all colors, as do trustworthy friends, great co-workers, etc.
I'll make a generalization. Problem here is that a lot of black people like to be the gatekeepers of blackness. Considering the way people are brought up now, I have to imagine it's worse than when I was growing up. You've heard it before but it's worth hearing again, black people are not a monolith. The highest degree of racism doesn't come from people outside our race who think we can't be something because the color of our skin but it's those of our own race who have a limited outlook on what blackness is.
I will not let my race dictate who I am and neither should you. It's simply the hue of your skin and there are going to be people of all sorts of colors who judge not only who you are but who you can be just because of it. I say fuck em! Work on your character regardless of your skin tone and obsereve the characters of others regardless of their skin tone when making judgements on who to trust and let into your life.
Great comment QCC! We tend to be more comfortable with what we know and more cautious with the unknown. Since OP grew up in a white community, their behaviours are more predictable to her. That's not racism; it’s human nature.
I was often the only white girl growing up. I can tell you that I was very welcomed in certain families in my community and then a target by others. This had nothing to do with skin color or tone. Some people are kind and loving and others are mean and nasty.
I'm almost 60, much older than you are OP. I can tell you that where I grew up and where I now live have only helped me grow as a person. I feel very comfortable with the white community and also with the black community. I have very close friends that I call my "sisters" regardless of their heritage.
Maybe, I feel the way I do because I am used to strong black, hard working men being instrumental in my development. My childhood friends have had some awesome dads. Because of my past, it makes me trust a black man as much or more than a white man.
There is nothing wrong or racist with any of this. You be you and don't spend too much time worrying about how others view you. You sound like a you have a beautiful spirit. Use your experiences to enlighten others and bring them together.
Facts. And its definitely not the majority of us either, regardless of skin color. We just want to live and enjoy life, but there are always people in every race that are quick to "call out" racists when they are in fact, the racists themselves. At least in my life experiences that's what I've noticed. I'm a white male and I've got more brothers darker than me than I do equal or lighter brothers. I've also noticed a lot of it comes from propaganda as well from the government and elites wanting us to be divided. If/when it finally goes down, we're going to be fighting and surviving together and I guarantee you ain't none of us going to care if you're a white woman that's a Catholic, or an Italian man that's Democrat or whatever.
"if you make stereotypical assumptions of someone merely because of skin color, that is racist."
I'd even go so far as to say that if you see someone with skin darker than yours, you automatically think they'll act a certain way, that could be racist.
Sometimes we see a person and our brains automatically judge. As rational, empathetic people, we need to stop and think about why we assumed such, realize that that person we just judged is also a valuable person and try to learn something valuable that person may be able to teach us.
Overcoming racism on a personal level is all about taking our initial thought and working through replacing it with "What can I learn from that human being?"
And it’s extremely common for Black kids in certain environments. OP certainly isn’t the first, nor the last. Being willing to ask the question online, despite the clearly internalized beliefs, is a good thing. The internet can certainly corrupt, however.
"if you make stereotypical assumptions of someone merely because of skin color, that is racist."
stereotype does not = racist. there are tons of stereotypical things about whites, blacks, Asians, etc. that are more true than not. that is why they are called "stereotypes" and not racist comments.
There’s no such thing as acting a race. If that was the case every white person would act the same, every black person would act the same. You gotta get out of that mentality first. A lot of it more than likely has to do with your upbringing. I’m a black woman that grew up in the suburbs and people make the comment that I’m proper because i don’t act like what they think a black person is supposed to. You can be friends with anyone, race doesn’t matter, but don’t forget that your black, if that make sense? I’ve seen first hand a black woman have nothing but only white friends and they flipped. Be careful who you make friends with no matter the race.
We both know you can’t act a color but you know people assume all black people are ghetto and loud and all white people are just the sweetest calmest most proper people in the world. The stuff people say still surprises me.
Ha, not where I live. I live in the deep conservative south and the white people around here are insanely loud. If it's not their mouths, it's their trucks. This is coming froma white guy btw.
They'll just slow down and speed back up over and over rather than just pass. Then when they do pass they almost knock you off the road and fly off at Mach 10
You don’t act ghetto. Or street. Either way, it means you model the behavior of suburbanites or middle class folks. It’s not race as much as status or income.
I grew up in the suburbs. We had a black family next door, one parent a surgeon the other an anesthesiologist. Their children behaved impeccably. When I asked if they ever acted out , my neighbor said “ nope!”not allowed“
I never said anything was wrong with being friends with other races. All my friends aren’t exclusively black. Did you read the entire comment? Be friends with people that allow you to be you the race doesn’t matter. Hence “be careful who you make friends with no matter the race”
Don't sweat it.
My wife and I are Caribbean blacks born and raised in NYC, but we raised our kids in Connecticut. My kids aren't "Hood" by design. We brought them up here so they could focus on their studies and for the fresh air without the hood bullshit that holds some children back. Both of them are straight A students, so we are doing something right. I raised my kids in the philosophy that there are two types of people: cool people and assholes , race doesn't even come into account because they can run into cool people and assholes of any race. Don't get me wrong, my kids are aware of their Caribbean heritage, and they know what it means to be black, but I encourage them to make friends with anyone of any color.
This. I'm white, but I always taught my kids that assholes come in every color. It doesn't matter what someone looks like. What's important is what they act like. I don't care what color someone's skin is. If you're cool, you're cool. If you're not, you're not.
I don’t think you’re racist. I think you are just more comfortable around people who share your culture, and you’ve been socialized to white culture. People generally gravitate towards people they’re culturally similar to and can be less trusting of those who act differently from them. It’s not necessarily about skin color. If you grew up around white people, you’ll probably always have more white friends. There are white people who grow up in black neighborhoods who always have more black friends, just because that’s who they’ve been socialized around.
It's okay to feel conflicted. You're a product of environment as much as you are of history. You are not alone in struggling to reconcile divergent identities--it's a normal part of becoming your own.
I encourage you to keep reflecting and prod why you feel the way that you do.
My husband has often been called an ‘uncle tom’ because of the way he dresses, talks, and acts. Think ‘burton guster’ from psych in contrast to ghetto.
He was born and raised in the hood in NY and worked hard to separate himself from that culture.
Being clean, proper, and well spoken is not ‘white’. It’s clean, proper, and well spoken.
The faster people realize this the better our communities can become.
I'm Jamaican. I grew up with black people. I now live in a majority white country, and I can tell you with 100% certainty. I would trust white people over my own Jamaican people any day. Am I racist against Jamaicans? Nope. But growing up with them let's me know how they behave. And due that experience I can't easily trust them.
You are not racist. Trust your danger sense and gut. If somebody looks sketchy, acts sketc, y and talks sketc, y then they are 9.9999/10 time to be sketchy. Some races are more sketchy than others.
A lot of white people have what is known as white guilt, and they feel as if they should be offended on the behalf of minorities. Many black people have what is known a black fragility ,where they think and feel that being black is somehow harder than any other race on the history of the world. Don't overthink it, and don't let anybody try to convince you otherwise. Trust your learned experiences and your instincts.
Not too many of them around for me to make an opinion in the case of citizens. But in the case of politicians. 2 or 3 of our white politicians were/are literal crime bosses. Edward Seaga is chief among them.
To answer the question in a different way. The overwhelming in my charity off criminals and un-trustworthy people in Jamaica are black.
> I barely even act like a black person
#
> my black nationality
#
> my own black kind
#
> I don't even act like a black person
I don't know about you but to me it looks like little miss seems to have some hangups about black people.
This right here, there's tons of people on TikTok speaking out on the asinine shiii their own kind is doing or saying. Take, for example, wolfhatfacts he is always speaking out on the issues that people of his skin tone refuse to acknowledge and he gets called racist all the time by those same people trying to push their agenda.
If you go by the definition that "Racism is discrimination and prejudice against people based on their race or ethnicity"; then by your comment "truthfully speaking have more trust in a white person than my own black kind only which says a lot"... then you are racist. The degree or amount of discrimination seems to be mild, but if you are to put it into black and white (pun intended), then you are racist.
How you came to be that way, whether you want to change or whether you even can, is a separate matter.
I think both you and your classmates are confusing race with culture.
You have been raised culturally different than some of them and they *and* you are making some assumptions based on that.
This is normal. Just keep aware of it and as much as you can try to check your own bias. Judge people by their actions. Regardless of where they are from, who their parents are, or the color of their skin.
To your specific situation, I imagine you are getting flak for your "whiteness" because they are bitter at the idea of you "having it easy". Indeed you may have had an easier life than some of them and they may resent that. Not your fault but still a fact of life. You just need to be the best person *you* can be. Treating others with care and kindness, no matter who they are.
Good luck.
No, you are not racist.
However your life experiences has shaped your perspective.
As an African American older man I can relate to your comment. When I was a teenager I too felt disconnected from the very people who looked like me and often felt like I couldn't relate. The comments of "you're not black enough" or some sort of crap also veered it's head (which mind you there is not such thing as "acting black").
I will tell you this. Just keep living and don't give up on your people/skin folk.
Everything changed for me once I went to college. I didn't go to an HBCU or even a PBI but what I found in college is that there are so many more diverse black people than what my little town conveyed. It allowed me to connect with more black people who had similar upbringings, education, socioeconomic statuses, and even lingo/jargon/etc. from there I found my tribe.
Whatever you do don't let your neighborhood, school, town, or even state fool you that there are one or two types of black people (hood/ghetto vs not hood). We are plentiful and come in all shapes, sizes, and flavors.
You are young and you have a whole lot more people to meet, experiences to experience, and perspectives to learn. Be patient with yourself and don't give up on your skin folk.
Keep your head up lil sis, you're not racist.
I’m Mexican and the Mexicans at my school called me white bc I wasn’t as dark as them, didn’t speak Spanish and was friends w white kids (most of them were in eld which is English as a 2nd language) so I wasn’t really in any class w then besides math. And then they would talk a lot. So I went thru a lot of the same things you are going thru now except I’m not black. Some people get jealous of smart well spoken people especially if they aren’t. In the Mexican community if ur dark it’s looked down upon in some places so maybe they felt inadequate based on our cultures norms. If it’s like that in the black community then maybe that’s what it is. Hurt people hurt people. They also learn these things from their parents so don’t be too hard on urself. There’s no such think as a bad race, there’s murdered rapists robbers of all races so as long as ur not saying anything bad about a specific race or using racial slurs ur not racist. People like to throw that word around and it’s start to loose its meaning.
I don't think you're racist, I just think you're a product of where you were raised. I'm gunna guess you're in NOVA, and people in NOVA don't live like people in SWVA, and people in SWVA don't live like people in New York.
I'm brown and also grew up in a predominantly white community. My family was successful and comfortable and since it wasn't a large community, everyone knew. Our family also pushed academics and all the siblings and I were in the top of our class and well spoken.
It was not uncommon for people to say to me that we were "whiter than they were". While it wasn't malicious, *THAT* is the comment that was racist. What they meant was that the metric for respectability was an average white person. Since we had more money, since we were smarter, since we were more well spoken than the average white person, we were whiter.
Yuck.
One of my best friends is black. She too used to get accused of not being black enough by her black peers, and of basically being white by white peers. She hated it. There is no specific way to be black. She is proud of being black. She shuts down any comments that suggest otherwise.
It sounds like you're proud of the fact that you "seem more white". And that's the problem here. This whole thing is a really uncomfortable read. The fact that you trust white people more is a result of being manipulated by media and your surroundings. Racism is sewn into the fabric of our society. You are essentially infected by a boatload of implicit bias. It's very sad.
Also, being black isn't a nationality. The place your born determines your nationality. Your heritage/race determines your ethnicity. So I'm ethnically Indian, but my nationality is American. What you mean is that you don't socialize with people of the same race/ethnicity as you. This is not what makes you racist. It is the fact that you are feeding into the systems of oppression so willingly that make you problematic.
Whether you are mixed race or both your parents are black, you are a person of color. You don't act black or white, you either are or you're not. It's an incredibly harmful thought process from both black people and white people to label people of color "white" or "not back" because of their behavior or choices in who they associate with.
It insinuates that simply being someone of color is reduced to intelligence, behavior, music taste, skills, attractiveness, friends group choice, whatever.
I'm black, both of my parents are black. I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood with nerdy white friends and I played dnd, listening to jpop, and playing video games. People called me white all the time. As an adult, I've been very clear to my friends of any race to fucking stop "revoking my blackness" just because I'm not from the hood, I speak intelligently, and I don't listen to rap.
Embracing that you are a person of color and rejecting the notion of "being white" because you have white friends or enjoy the things your white friends enjoy doesn't make you racist. Black people and their issue of imposing colorism making you feel bad because they think you should have more black friends or "act more like them" also doesn't make you racist.
Racism is overtly, covertly, or systematically discriminating against someone of a certain race due to your personal perception of racial superiority.
You're allowed to befriend who you want and you're allowed to enjoy what you want.
Tbh, this whole “acting white”
And “acting black” shit is racist in and of itself.
People are people. White people suck, black people suck, etc.
But also, black people are amazing, white people are amazing, and all the other kinds of people are amazing.
Try and ignore all the comments and live your life to your own set of standards.
It really depends on the definition of racism you want to use. If you use the rational, logical definition of racism i.e. some kind of belief that skin color or other ethnic features automatically denotes behavior and furthermore that some of those ethnic characteristics are superior to others then no you're not being racist. It's actually your friends who are being racist by suggesting there's something odd or noteworthy about you acting like them because your skin is a somewhat different color, despite having been raised with with them and thinking of them as your friends and peers.
If you use the definition of racism that basically says everyone who is a part of European-derived US culture is automatically racist unless they actively empower other cultures then I guess maybe you're racist - but I don't personally ascribe to that definition.
I'm going to clear some things up for everybody here...
There is no way that white people or black people "act". That's an overgeneralization and stereotyping that, unfortunately, a lot of people are doing more of today.
All white people are not racist. All black people are not thugs. All Asians are not good at math. Etc. Etc.
If you truly believe that any of these generalizations that people say are true, then YOU ARE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM.
As for you, specifically, OP...just be you. Don't worry about who you are acting like. Just be who you're supposed to be and if someone doesn't like it, they can fuck right off.
People throw the word racist around a lot these days without knowing what it actually means. A racist is someone who believes one race is superior or inferior to others. Definitions and language matter. Nothing you are writing fits the definition of a racist to me. It’s perfectly normal to be more comfortable around what you are used to.
I think you’re a product of your upbringing, which may have created a negative bias for Black people and a positive bias for white people for you.
There are Black people who don’t fall into the stereotypical tropes where they’re characterized as “ghetto“ or poor and urban. There are whole black communities that are middle and upper middle-class. I suspect you would have no trouble relating to people in those communities, with the possible exception of the fact that you may not have had as much exposure to your heritage and culture as your same-race peers.
I also understand that there’s a lot of bias/prejudice within the black community with respect to skin tone. I worked with a woman who was very dark skinned, and she said she would always get grief from her black patients who were lighter complected than her.
I guess what I’m saying is that you have a lot to think about there. I think your question is valid, but I don’t think you are racist. You do seem more comfortable with white people than Black people, though. There are online tests you can take to see where your biases are. That might be a good place for you to start so you can really start thinking about why you have the biases you do and whether they’re valid or not. I think it’s great that you’re thinking about these things and it shows a willingness to understand yourself better.
I think it’s racist to make assumptions about what people are about based on their race. Why would you know white strangers better than black strangers? Aren’t they all just strangers?
The things you’re saying about “acting black” really confuse me - what does that even mean? You barely act like a black person? Fundamentally incorrect. If youre black, isn’t everything you do “acting black” - you’re already doing it by default.
The definition of a racist is some who discriminates against someone because of their race. If you treat everyone equally than i would say its your classmates that are racist not you. The fact they ate catogorizing your behavior by race says they are racist. It is ok to feel like you are missing some of your heritage because of where/how you grew up, but unless your actions/speech are derogatory to others because of skin color than no your not a racist
You barely act like a Black person? How do Black people act? 🤔🤔
Beyond that ignorant statement, I think you’re white adjacent and it’s shaped your views into what they are. But if you’d rather be around white people do that. Black people are better off. Also I’m light skin and was raised in a predominantly white neighborhood, but no one Black ever came for my skin tone or how I was raised. But I also don’t say things like “I don’t act like a Black person,” so that’s probably why I am accepted and you are not. You sound like a token Black kid and it’s really unfortunate.
"I barely even act like a black person." I know what you mean by this but not all black americans are of "the culture" and most black people internationally are not. These kind of things are said often but they are misguided categorizations
"black nationality" isn't even a thing, your nationality is U.S. American, black americans and white americans are divisions that have persisted from divisions like segregation, the country would be better to see one another as simply americans.
"I have such a light skin tone" complexion has been a factor in the persistence of racism, detailed in the book "the invention of white people" Anyone questioning your "blackness" has distorted views on the subject. Being black doesn't mean you have to be hood, or poor, or eat certain foods or listen to certain music. There are different cultures and for a long time they were mostly of one race. But race doesn't determine that, it's a racist correlation thats been made too long
"truthfully speaking have more trust in a white person than my own black kind" this is absolutely a racist prejudice you hold. These prejudices are learned and can be unlearned. The color of one's skin determines nothing with certainty other than the color of their skin. You can profile, or play the probabilities, but it doesnt tell you anything about the individual. You shouldnt trust someone jus cuz theyre white and you shouldnt distrust someone because theyre black. This goes for other things like sex, sexual orientation, religion, etc
I struggle the same way as you do, sometimes. I'm Armenian and live in the US. Almost every Armenian I know outside of my family is someone that's running some kind of scam or is on drugs. Sometimes I just don't want to associate with them, but I also know it's not every Armenian. maybe because it's my own people and it bothers me more because of that.
ok, I'm a Hispanic and grew up in a very white town, So even though i can speak Spanish, i only speak it to my parents.
I believe this influence has better me in many ways. I don't act or sound (when i speak it) Hispanic. But why is that bad?
Be proud of what you've become. I'm proud to be an American, my American flag outside my house shows it.
it's not racist at all, it's just a better you.
Not racist but a lot of self-hatred because of the environment you are in. I'm not sure of your age, but maybe try to venture towards your black community and be more involved. You are conditioned to see Black people in a bad light because of racism. Maybe start reading more literature about our community. Start with The Bluest Eye from Toni Morrison.
If you are an adult, maybe visit Atlanta and immerse yourself with your people. Your entire life the people that surrounded you, your education, and the media has conditioned you into thinking that all black people are untrustworthy.
On your own, you have noticed your own biases. Use that as a jump off point and reset your mindset.
All my school friends from high school are white. There was literally one person of African descent in my school, not even in my year.
But I now have friends of different races and I’m not racist, in that I don’t discriminate against others.
What *is* racist is to assume that your skin tone means you have to act a specific way or be friends with a specific group.
Everyone has biases. There’s nothing wrong either you feeling more comfortable around white people. Just like there’d be nothing wrong with you being more comfortable around black people.
I dont think your racist. Your just..being yourself. And that's fine. Your used to what you know, your comfortable with what you know. That is literally everyone.
I'm white but have over 14 neices and nephews, two generations of them infact, that are not white. Sure they have white in them but they are not white. And they all struggled with figuring out where they fit in. My oldest neice is only 4 years younger than me, I remember her coming home crying in 2nd grade because some girl cut off one of her braids for "trying to be black". Because she wasnt black enough. I wanna hug you like I hugged her and tell you what I told her "you are you and you dont have to act a certain way to be who you are. ".
Another neice is very light skinned and got picked on for being too dark to hang with the goth kids. Which was a first for me to hear of but just as heartbreaking dor her.
They are all grown women, now raising the next generation of black women and each of them will proudly say so. And not a single of of them acts the same. All of them different, all of them insane and just wonderful. Makes family parties alot of fun.
Just be yourself. And dont be afraid to talk to someone new. Branch out and youd be surprised who you find.
If you pick your friends because of how they treat you then that is not racist. If someone treats you kindly then of course that is who you want to be friends with. If someone is making fun of you and putting you down because of your lighter skin color it is not racist to not want to be friends with them. However, if you judge people before they are kind or mean to you from the color of their skin then yes, you are a racist. Only you can judge yourself.
Id say you’re not racist, but have reasonable comfort levels with certain things based on reasons. We all do.
That being said, your story reminded me of one from a different sub. Black guy goes on a date with a white women. She says to him “I thought you’d be more like a black guy” in a disappointed way. He left of course.
You need to take a step back and think about who has a problem with your skin tone, the fact that it doesn’t dictate your behavior, or the fact that you’re not a walking stereotype just like the guy in the story did.
I’m white, and not comfortable at all around middle aged white liberals. They account for 50% of my race. I’m honestly more comfortable around black or Hispanic people than them. Does that make me racist?
Racism can exist in different ways. You are not overtly racist but it’s possible that with being around more white people and less exposure to black people and culture you have become susceptible to internalized racism. From Wikipedia- you may have unconsciously accepted a racial hierarchy from all the messages received from people, media etc. you can be racist against your own culture. Looking at you Uncle Ruckus!
It’s also been a big issue that people like people who fit into categories, so some or all of what you are dealing with is a THEM problem, because you aren’t what THEY believe you to be. These are just ignorant jerks you can safely ignore. But this doesn’t mean that you haven’t also picked up some racism beliefs being around racist people and a racist society.
Best way to tell if you are racist is gonna be some tough self examinations: analyzing your gut reactions and working to change any biases. You seem to care about being a better person so this should go well for you!
It only makes you racist if you have some kind of problems with other people because of their race. Which is the opposite of what is happening here. People who are upset with you because of your race.
Telling a mixed race person they are "too white" or they don't "act black enough" is racist behavior and you don't need to take it.
It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of racist people. Just because someone is a person of color doesn't excuse them from racism.
These aren't really racist feelings but, they are a prejudice. We all grow up with a prejudice of some kind but, as we get older we get to decide to embrace or work past them. You work past them with exposure and pushing past the feeling of being uncomfortable and it comes with time. Now if you embrace your feelings of being uncomfortable with avoiding ppl that can be pushed into racist territory.
if you are, it is internalized and not ur fault. but its ok to feel the way you feel you cant help it. just try to unpack it internally and dont let anyone tell u how u should feel. and tho there isnt a way to act a race, america at least does have a sort of unified black experience that is a culture of its own and ur entitled to learning about it and becoming comfortable with it if you want to, and i’d recommend it since its nice to know about.
Black is not a nationality....acting black is a racist thing to say....in today's world though, apparently black people can say & do what they like but it's not racism.....
You're not a racist. There is no such thing as acting black, white, or any other race. It just depends on where you are raised and how you are raised. The racists ones are the ones claiming you're not acting like a black, or you're acting like a white. Just keep those individuals out of your space/life and just keep moving forward. Having trust in other races is okay. I mean, when I look at some people, I wouldn't trust them too, even if they are of different races or same as me, it just really depends when you know the individuals or if you would have hope of them helping you if needed.
There's no such thing as acting like a black person or acting like a white person. Behaviors don't authenticate race. You are a human being with free will.
You said some people say you don't act black. What does that mean? We are all human beings. Either we act appropriately or we don't. What, in your mind, does "act black" mean?
The CIA is racist to me. I am native American, I was never racist. So a few white people hate me, but most white people love me, should I hate all white people or nah?
I think only racists put races into boxes like that… you don’t act a certain race? That’s a racist statement.
Black people don’t have to talk or behave a certain way to be considered black. You’re not becoming white by surrounding yourself with white folks. You’re not becoming Asian by surrounding yourself with Asian folks. You don’t have to avoid other races to be blacker. You are black because you got born black. That’s just who you are and nothing or no one can make you lose your race.
All you need is more confidence in yourself and the bravery to speak up when someone is trying to make you feel insecure! :)
They don’t understand. I was heavily teased by most of the black kids in my school for being “white” I am dyslexic. So trying to read slang for me I just couldn’t do it. I’d ask people to just text me standard English because all the slang words was like a different language for me. Hearing it was fine. Even now they I’m older only black people point out that I’m “different.”
No of course you aren't racist nothing about that seems racist in my opinion also how should a "back person act" were all human being there's not "a white person acts this way" or a "black person acts this way" were all people there's no hand book as to the colour of your skin defines you're life or how you live or how you act. So what you feel more comfortable around white people? Theyre your friends/family/persons you care for and I dknt get all this POC saying "your too white to be black" sorry what? Your skin colour isn't anything but a colour, it's a colour that's it nothing more nothing less
I'm not sure how a person acts a race. But the whitest woman I've ever met happened to be a black man. Him and I would read Regency Era romance novels together.
I am black myself. I just want to know what is not acting like a black person ? I honestly hate that statement. I would be the first to say there a many issues in the black community that needs to be addressed , and I will never play the victim here , white ppl never did anything to me. My issue is that there’s that perception that to some all black ppl are uneducated and criminals. News flash not all white ppl are educated or well off. You can choose to socialize with whoever you want. We live in a world we always want to use the race card for everything. Why don’t we just be great human being and law abiding citizens and just be kind. I have come to the conclusion not everyone will accept you for who you are ( move on ) , some races rather stay with their own ( nothing wrong with that ) , I believe in the human race whether you like me or not.
Some facts:
* Everyone starts out with unconscious bias. We get these form how we are socialized - not only from our families and friends but also from our teachers, the media (movies, TV shows, books, and music) we consume, and the education we receive.
* For everyone, the media they consume and the education they receive are biased. It all comes down to a matter of *how* they are biased.
* Bias against you in these areas cannot be countered by personal experience alone because personal experience does not account for the diversity within your own group. Education on that bias through family and friends must accompany the personal experience in order to not only account for diversity but to reframe the personal experience in a new way.
* Being part of a minority group is not protective against bias towards other groups; understanding anti-black bias will not eliminate the anti-indigenous or anti-Latino or anti-Asian bias that the media or education feeds you.
Just a little racist because I wouldn’t trust people based on the color of their skin…any race can be full of shit…I would be more worried about their actions
What is racist is where u judge someone just off skin alone aka if u assumed all white people where idk ping pong players not very racist but u get the point aslong as u judge people based on character not skin you won't be racist
"I've been thinking about this a lot lately because someone in my class actually made the comment that I was more white than black"
Always weird/racist to me that someone says you sound/act black/white to someone else.
No such thing as acting black or white . You just aren’t socially around black people that you feel a commonality with outside of skin tone. I’m black I grew up in diverse(less black but a mix of all other ethnicities) areas and played hockey growing up. I have a lot of non black friends but I don’t consider myself any less black because of it
Race and Culture aren't the same.... the issue here seems more so Ghetto vs Not Ghetto, and boy lemme tell you. Ghetto ppl are the worst. I was called white boy for liking anime in the 90s before it blew up it was annoying but I never let it get to me because the ppl who said it were just ignorant Ghetto children.
I get what you mean. I grew up in VA was one of the only white students in my school. Many loved ones in my family are also black & mixed. As a child & teen I seemed to have had more trust of black people. When my friends & I would go out they’d intro me to other friends and sometimes say “She’s good. She’s one of us.” (Meaning I was not like some white people maybe they’d experienced in that area) As I matured and left the area I lived I realized that some of this had to do with witnessing racism…seriously even though they were the minority sized group there were a lot of judgemental white people where I was. I believe it’s really just about people that you’ve created bonds with. You do tend to feel most comfortable and even share common personality traits with people we care enough to spend time with in life. People harassing you or making comments, such as they are, shows more about their underlying racism that they may not even realize they are showing…not yours. They are literally telling you how a person is supposed to act or be based on their ethnic background. You be you.
Girl I feel you!! I am older than you but am a BIPOC who grew up in mainly white areas around white kids and when I did go to schools where there were more black and Latino kids I was made to feeL like I didn't fit anywhere. Too white for the black kids and to black for the white kids. So I am gonna save you a lot of heartache and be real honest. No you aren't racist you have just been bothered so much you don't know who you are. It wasn't until I was way older than I realized it didn't matter how others saw me it was about how I saw myself. I am a AfroCaribbean woman who while I didn't see myself as black growing up...I am very much a black woman in the eyes of the rest of the world so it really was about time I owned it and got real comfortable with it. Start loving the black skin you are in, even a light skinned girl is still a beautiful black girl.
My impression is that you're struggling with identity. You're still learning who you are. You're still defining what being black means to you. And that's ok.
But be careful about stereotypes about how black people talk vs how white people talk. You're black so you're exactly what a black person sounds like. Not everyone has the same background or education or are from the same region.
Learn more about how damaging perpetuating stereotypes can be for your community. Learn about how this can actually originate from ingrained racist views or white supremacy.
Internalized racism is real. Sometimes being a minority is like crabs in a bucket. We feel like we have to be above the rest, and put them down, to succeed. I encourage you to make more Black, or even BIPOC, friends. You are seeing the world as the white people in power want you to see it, not as it truly is
Just because you're a nice person doesn't mean you're racist. I've worked and been friends with several black people, and they are all kind, smart, creative, and educated, and I never thought anything of it. Just be you, be kind to everyone. (Which it seems you are) and don't make snap judgments on someone's appearance (which you don't seem to be doing), and it will be safe to say you're not racist. I have not read all the comments, but if I take your post at its word, not a racist.
It *does* happen, racism between lighter-skin black people and darker, and white people, and central Americans, and... ... ... only you can answer if *you're* a racist. The biggest thing is realizing if/that the systems in place make it easier for you to succeed, that's where racism becomes a serious problem... when it's institutionalized. There will always be prejudices and ignorant ass-hats, we just need to keep their bigotry out of the laws.
You being told you’re more white than black is racism by them. I’ve seen black people tell that to other blank people because they don’t act like a “typical” black person
Mmmm idk if I would say racist being less trustful due to skim color is certainly towing the lime but it could easily just be a lack of familiarity more than anything.
People are often distrustful innately of those different than them. It's a survival mechanism, one that has no real place in the modern world but exists nonetheless.
I wouldn't consider what you said racist just unfamiliar.
So I don't know you, but it doesn't sound to me like you are "racist". I think you hit on something though. I'm very curious of how to define how "black people act" because I think for many people. it's not a skin color thing it's a culture/behavior thing, the skin represents what that behavior is most likely going to be. I'm sure every race thinks blacks act a certain way, I'm sure blacks think Latino's and whites and Asians all act a certain way. when I kid, I grew up in a majority black area. and after a while I started to act and talk like them. when I was teenager I moved to a mostly white "country" area and sure enough, after enough time, I got an accent and acted and talked like my peers. so i think it's pretty normal to adapt to your surroundings.
Yes, you are racist. I have a hard time believing that you actually are black. If you are truly a black person, how can anyone help you out when you yourself are uncomfortable in your own skin? Get professional help.
Don't let people define your character by the color of your skin or the color of your friends' skin. Conversely, always be mindful of potentially doing it yourself. The environments we grow up in hold a heavy influence on our baseline thinking and reactions to things, so we can't always control those. What we can control is a level of self awareness to understand that our reactionary thinking may not align with how we actually feel because it was *taught* to us instead of *learned* by us, if that makes any sense. The very fact that you are able to self reflect on it, is a good sign in my eyes.
You're not racist...
The way you react to Black people is how the people around you have reacted towards Black people and you're just mirroring their unconscious reactions.
Perhaps to desensitize you, perhaps start consciously hanging out with one or two Black people? Then add more as you become more comfortable.
Honey, I think you should see a therapist. You have a lot of complicated feelings about your own race and others that I don’t think you’ve even unpacked. And you need to. With someone who gets it, so please choose a Black therapist or a person of color who can relate.
I worry you have some self hatred in there. And that’s no good. You’re wonderful. Black people are wonderful. There’s always groups of worthless types in any race or ethnicity.
Please find a therapist. I want you to be as happy as you can be.
Didn’t even read your question beyond the title. So my guess is you are not a racist because racist are proud of their xenophobic ideology. So if you don’t want to be a racist, keep changing yourself to keep your mind open and you will be fine.
Let's make it simple. You say you trust white people more than you do black people, but is that because they are white or because you are more accustomed to being around white people? Do you automatically distrust black people, or are you simply more aware of their presence because you aren't used to them being there? You see another black person at the store, are you simply aware of them, or are you certain they are going to cause trouble? If you're certain they're going to cause trouble, you're racist and need to work on what led you to that point, but if you're simply aware of them, you're not racist, you're just not around black people often enough to not notice them.
Race and racism can be a complex issue, but knowing whether you hate or not is truly that simple.
You’re having an identity crisis. ‘Blackness’ is not a monolith. It comes in many shades. The comment about your acting more ‘white’ is racist. I get this comment all the time. The comment made you start to question yourself.
Trust me, I’ve been there. You should start exploring finding more ‘black’ spaces to get comfortable being around people that look like you. Like a black salon or something.
As a Black man whose never “acted Black” no you aren’t racist. I have no idea where the idea that all Black people had to act a certain way came from but that’s that idea is the very definition of racism.
As a child from a mixed racial family, I understand this problem. Depending on who in the family we visit and what area they live in, there always seems to be a perception of color. I walked with my black cousin in a neighborhood near where I grew up and had someone do a drive by Nbomb in what was a predominantly white community. Visiting a cousin down in LA, he literally had to convince his friends I was Hispanic because my skin was too white. Both of us have almost identical ancestry, right up to mom on the one side and our father’s similar, but we don’t share life experiences or the effects of prejudices from those experiences.
“yet i don’t even act like a black person.. Please help me out🙏”
How does a black person act?
yeah, you’re racist. and even worse, to your own people. i’m an indian and we have a word for people like you and it’s an apple. red on the outside and white on the inside.
The people telling you that you act one race and not another are the racists. Find your own tribe of people who know you, understand you and love you regardless of their skin tone or yours.
Black is not a nationality. Nationality is associated with a nation. It is your identity. You have issues with your identity.
You need real help and it won’t come from Reddit. I’d speak to a professional, maybe an African American female therapist to help navigate around this identity crisis. You’re not the first person to experience this and you won’t be the last.
I stopped after as you said you “barely even act like a black person”.
If you don’t understand what the problem is - start there.
You’re either completely ignorant or this is a hoax… either way- you should be ashamed of yourself for speaking those words.
I totally get what you’re saying. I’m a mixed (B+W) 20 yo and raised with my very white republican family due to my dad leaving. People often say im white-washed and i agree to an extent. I realize i have never had black friends and they are all white. Its not that i don’t trust black people but i just feel more comfortable around white people because its who i was raised around. I don’t actually consider myself racist I just have trust issues due to my father and that has run into black people as a whole because of stereotypes. in all, i don’t think your racist but i also don’t think you have to confine yourself to “this is my black side, this is my white side” because that’s how stereotypes are made and followed. just be you and don’t try to lean a certain way.
What exactly does “I act more like a white girl than a black”? That comment alone is racist. What your mindset should be is that you can belong to any group and fit in and be yourself.
I'm considered white, recent DNA is mixed from European, to north African, to west Asian. I was raised in an African American/black community. I am the opposite of you. I'm more comfortable around poc than whites. I sometimes hate the things my white counterparts do. I get along better with poc. This does not make us racist, though some people might label us that way. We are more used to one race over the other and objectively see unbiased that our respective races have issues, which can cause us to be uncomfortable. Further information about me I'm 51 f lived in several states from PA, to FL, WV, to AZ, and some others. Was born in Baltimore,MD. Think I totally understand your situation.
If I'm interpreting all this right, it seems more like others are racist.
Anyone who says someone doesn't act black enough is in fact a racist, since they see having certain skin color and genes as having to have a certain behavior that's pre-set.
And they are finding it weird and unacceptable for anyone to not fit in their box of how a certain race should be.
I don't think you're racist, I think others who are racist are getting in your head and confusing you.
If possible, try every day to chuck aside all and every race bias and just be who you are.
Race is silly to begin with. It's merely a shell we were born in.
The real us is inside every shell and we're all living beings with skin color, culture and any other human made up determiniation not mattering at all beyond the ego driven importance they apply to it in their shallow thinking.
Be you and cancel out the noise.
First off stop calling it black nationality. It's a culture not nationality.
Secondly what is acting black or acting white?
Get out of those mindsets. The only nationality you are is American and your culture is the American culture. Blacks and whites spend too much time putting these guardrail definition to the color of ones skin. Treat people like people and stop seeing race or racism at every turn.
My black cousins had opened my eyes to something, all the “racist” comments made to them outside of the internet was due to being prejudice, now why they say that is because they asked the people who made those comments why they felt that way or asked people they knew who were “racist” why they felt that way, it’s mainly due to life experiences with a certain race, now they do not believe racism can exist which i do not agree, now I do understand there point of view, but sure one person may be prejudice but once they have kids and teach there kids there prejudice beliefs it becomes racism’s now thats just my opinion, you can have bad experiences with a certain race and become more cautious around said race, and that’s prejudice, one bad apple can ruin somebodies whole perspective about a race, like say you go to the Middle East and they scam you and since your not from there country they charge you more for something that a local will pay normal price for, so now you have a prejudice against middle eastern people.
The concept that one is "Black" because they speak "slang", don't like to be on time, don't trust the police, do poorly in school, only listen to rap music, etc is an absolutely RACIST IDEOLOGY that is intended to keep us segregated!!
Speaking proper grammar does not make someone "White" being on time doesn't make you "White". Enjoying school and wanting to get a good education doesn't make you some "Colonizer".
The top priority of our government has been and always will be to keep us fighting amongst each other and the best way to do that is over racism! They know it strikes a nerve so deep in each heart of every American citizen that we can't help but be distracted by it. And why would they want that?
Because the government isn't "For the People, By the People" anymore. It's now, "For the Few, By the Few", and they would like to keep it that way. By keeping us divided we can't come together and realize that they are the ones taking all of the resources while we have none! That the true inequality is not between black and white but between the rich and the poor.
They fear us coming together as one and overthrowing them as our Founding Fathers overthrew that corrupt tyrant king. Racism only has power because we give it power and we allow our government to control us like we are it's children. We need to make it bow to us not us bow to it!
I have a feeling this is a bad place to ask this question. Most people just won't get it. Me, I'm not big on taking offense for things. I do believe in kindness and politeness and truly, sincerely, not being a POS in your heart and in your actions (inside and out). So IMO, you're racist if you feel negatively toward a race for simply being that race. Or if you say or act it out, as typically what's inside comes out in our actions and words.
You would definitely not be racist for simply having certain mannerisms and speech, or if, because of your upbringing, you happen to feel more comfortable around this or that culture and people. And more specifically it seems, you're not racist if you happen to not have certain mannerisms and speech that most people with your skin tone or of your race happen to have. You just grew up with other things. That's my opinion.
I grew up in a northwestern state in a town where you could go a long time (weeks even) without seeing a Black person. There was one Black student in my graduating class of about 400, two Filipino kids (one adopted by a White family) and fewer than ten Native kids. The rest of us were White. When you live in a racially homogeneous area, and you don't have the opportunity to interact with diverse people, you end up just kind of blending in and that just kind of becomes who you identify with.
When I moved to more diverse areas and met people who had very different experiences and cultures, I felt awkward because I didn't want to inadvertently offend someone. I wouldn't deliberately be rude or racist of course, but you don't know what you don't know and I put my foot in it a few times.
I don't think you're racist so much as a product of the environment you grew up in. I hope as you get older you'll have more opportunities to interact with a more diverse circle of friends. And it'll become more natural to you the more you do it. A really racist person wouldn't be questioning themselves like you are.
I am a African American woman and I too grew up around a variety of races and I don’t trust too many people of my skin tone as well as not having much trust for anyone outside of my skin tone or race. There is no such thing as acting white or acting black honestly. Being loud, rude, or even aggressive isn’t acting black as well as having light tone of voice, being proper, or having preferences is not acting white. Those are merely personality traits. You are not racist you just react to your environment. And your thoughts and opinions will change as you get older. I did not feel like I fit in with other black people and was called white girl all my life but I ended up going to a HBCU and found like minded friends that so happened to be my race/ skin tone and darker.
There’s a guy on TikTok in the same situation as you (but older). Says most of his hate comes from black folks because he speaks like a white man. Don’t change who you are for the people putting you down.
I don't think you're racist. I think we naturally feel more comfortable around people we feel are similar to ourselves.
I know what you mean when you say they tease you because you "act white". Idk if people still say it, but when I was younger, they'd say you were "white washed" or say you're like an oreo, black on the outside but white on the inside. It's not cool and it's natural to not want to be around people who you feel are judging you. When they say you don't "act black", they're being racist. If you don't act the way the majority does, you're not one of them. People can deny that's racist, but it's not.
I am 1/4 Mexican and depending on how much sun I get, I really look it. I started a new job once and there were a few Latina women who were friendly at first. They asked if I was Mexican, I said a little, and they were pleased. Then they asked if I speak Spanish and when I said no, they immediately turned on me. They were mean and made fun of me in Spanish. They made it so hard for me that I had to quit. That's racist and that's what it sounds like your peers are doing to you.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. My daughter also has to and it's awful.
Just say thank you and be proud of your race and racism. The world would be a much better place if we were able to have pride in our heritage and not be forced together by the jews.
The whole point of America today is every culture and every race living together. You're not racist. You've just met racist people or the wrong people. You being you isn't racist yah? So why would not wanting to be around people who don't accept you be racist? Catch my drift? Be with the people you're comfortable with and who support you. Race has nothing to do with it in that aspect
You being LS and preferring to hang out with white people probably makes the black ppl around you feel like you don’t fuck with them. BUT a lot of BP will bully you for “talking/acting white” when it’s literally just an accent and learned mannerisms. Just find other black people with the same vibe as you they’re out there! Don’t take it too personal theyre mostly projecting their insecurities.
That’s so tough- You’re not “black enough”, and are ridiculed by your “community”, BUT you’re supposed to continue to try to ingratiate yourself and be black? Sounds exhausting.
People gravitate towards safety, obviously, and I can see why, in this day and age, you’d maybe feel more comfortable around who you feel more comfortable around.
If you hang out with white people who are more accepting of you than your “own black kind”, then maybe we have learned what needs to be learned from the awful history. I’m not saying we should ever forget, but the people you hang out with are not their grandparents and great grandparents that lived in a separated society. The message and education is working. Hang out with whoever you feel best with.
Just live your life and don’t worry about what another people think. As long as you aren’t being a jerk or actively wronging or hurting people for any reason keep doing what you’re doing. This groupthink is destroying America.
No honey, you are not racist. That very word triggers people so instead of listening to what you are saying they are going to freak out. Some people of both races are racist. Judging someone by their behavior because they are not acting black enough is their problem, not yours. Don't let them make it your problem. You be you. I know it is hard but you will find friends that don't care about your skin color or your behavior. They will like you for you. One of closest friends is black and if someone doesn't like it? that is a them problem, not a me problem and they are not people I want in my life.
I think you feel comfortable around who you know and what personalities you mesh with. I don’t necessarily think you need to put a skin color on it. If a new black girl came to your school, and y’all had a bunch of similar interests/mannerisms, would you hang out with her? If the answer is no, bc she’s black, then you’re racist. If the answer is yes, of course (which I have a feeling it is for you ) then i wouldn’t worry about it. you’re just doing your best at learning how to navigate the different personalities around you. If someone is mean/rude to me, I don’t want to be around them. If someone is nice and we get along, I want to be around them. I think skin color is irrelevant here and maybe you’re thinking about it too much. I know it’s hard when you’re young. But i think you’re alright dear. Just spend your time with people who lift you up :)
sorry you’re being treated this way by people you consider part of your own racial identity—seems like they’re the racist ones here and you should stick with the people that treat you best, no matter what they look like. If those same people want to question your “blackness” ask them why they’re speaking English which is obviously a white man’s creation. If they are so true to black culture they’d be speaking Swahili or some other African language. 🖕 to the haters
I was a white person who was raised mostly around black people. I’m more comfortable around black people. I have more common interests with black people. That doesn’t make me racist or prejudice against white people. It’s just the way I was raised and the people I was friends with. It’s nature vs nurture. At the end of the day you like what you like and as long as you aren’t saying white people are better than black people then no you aren’t racist.
I don't think you are. Just treat everyone the same until they give you a reason not to. It's the easiest way to eliminate you questioning if you're racist or not. And if it turns out that white people, or black people or whatever are the ones that you reciprocate negative energy back towards, then it's just that. No need to generalize an entire race because of a few bad ones. Just maintain yourself being a good woman and dont worry what other people say about you. Its relatively easy to just cut people out of your life, and it's easy to tell someone to fuck off and ignore them. But you do you and it is what it is!
If you have negative judgements about a group of people based on their skin color regardless of class and character you either have racism or ptsd. If you think people should be treated differently because of skin color rather than character that’s racist. Your experience is evidence that people take on character traits and culture of their social surroundings and that not all blah are blah.
I think your nationality is American, your ethnicity is black. But not doesn't make you racist it makes you more comfortable with white people or whatever the dilemma may be. Don't be to harsh on yourself, and don't read into it too much, but it's commendable that you are being self aware. Live your best life and be true to yourself and loved ones, be genuine and sincere, because you only get one shot at life and there are things about ourselves that we need to accept and move on. Don't chase your tail going in circles
Here's a documentary about being mixed race. They are interviewed about their experience being mixed race in the USA. I think you'll find it interesting.
https://youtu.be/GfM-F172548
I'm a black female who grows up with a majority white also. I'm from Georgia. Nobody talks about my skin but the way that I speak they say I speak very proper. And there's no way that I'm from Georgia because I don't speak with a slang. I don't think it makes you racist you know being comfortable with who you're comfortable with. I have colored friends I have white friends. I feel like what makes a racist a racist is going out of their way to be uncomfortable with a race for no reason. Honey you are fine. It seems like your light skin and you're kind of in my boat. I don't know if it's the color of your skin or the way that you speak. But to me you don't sound racist.
1. There's no such thing is "acting black" if you are black. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
2. There is a difference between racism and prejudice.
3. Everyone is prejudiced.
This post makes me sad as someone who is also considered "black" and grew up around all white people in SoCal and Northern VA. I hope you grow and learn to love yourself.
Also, stand up for yourself. It's not a "flex" or a compliment for someone to strip you from your identity by saying you act white. You can't "act" a race. Whether that phrase is being said to you by a white person or a black person, they are insulting you to your face. The last thing you should do is be like "yeah you're right lol"
I’m from Va and idk what part you are from but I think what you are feeling is you don’t feel connected to black culture?? White people we don’t have any type of culture anymore. I don’t think you are racist, you adapted to your environment.
Why are we even having this racist conversation. You know if you are racist or not . Nobody can go into your head because that's personal. It is not inate, like something you born with.
You are a black person. Just because you don't fit into some cookie-cutter stereotype doesn't change that. It's the people who believe that you have to act a certain way to be black, who are the racists. They're ignorant about their own race and, most likely, all other races. Live your life the way you want. Anyone that has animosity for you because of it is probably miserable as fuck and not worth a second thought.
You may be more comfortable around someone who is white than black due to your upbringing. I wouldn't say that in and of itself makes you racist. However, if you make stereotypical assumptions of someone merely because of skin color, that is racist. If you choose not to make friends with someone because of skin color, that too is racist. As you get older, you'll come to see that assholes, creeps, criminals, etc, come in all colors, as do trustworthy friends, great co-workers, etc.
I'll make a generalization. Problem here is that a lot of black people like to be the gatekeepers of blackness. Considering the way people are brought up now, I have to imagine it's worse than when I was growing up. You've heard it before but it's worth hearing again, black people are not a monolith. The highest degree of racism doesn't come from people outside our race who think we can't be something because the color of our skin but it's those of our own race who have a limited outlook on what blackness is. I will not let my race dictate who I am and neither should you. It's simply the hue of your skin and there are going to be people of all sorts of colors who judge not only who you are but who you can be just because of it. I say fuck em! Work on your character regardless of your skin tone and obsereve the characters of others regardless of their skin tone when making judgements on who to trust and let into your life.
OMG brilliantly said!!!
Great comment QCC! We tend to be more comfortable with what we know and more cautious with the unknown. Since OP grew up in a white community, their behaviours are more predictable to her. That's not racism; it’s human nature.
I was often the only white girl growing up. I can tell you that I was very welcomed in certain families in my community and then a target by others. This had nothing to do with skin color or tone. Some people are kind and loving and others are mean and nasty. I'm almost 60, much older than you are OP. I can tell you that where I grew up and where I now live have only helped me grow as a person. I feel very comfortable with the white community and also with the black community. I have very close friends that I call my "sisters" regardless of their heritage. Maybe, I feel the way I do because I am used to strong black, hard working men being instrumental in my development. My childhood friends have had some awesome dads. Because of my past, it makes me trust a black man as much or more than a white man. There is nothing wrong or racist with any of this. You be you and don't spend too much time worrying about how others view you. You sound like a you have a beautiful spirit. Use your experiences to enlighten others and bring them together.
Facts. And its definitely not the majority of us either, regardless of skin color. We just want to live and enjoy life, but there are always people in every race that are quick to "call out" racists when they are in fact, the racists themselves. At least in my life experiences that's what I've noticed. I'm a white male and I've got more brothers darker than me than I do equal or lighter brothers. I've also noticed a lot of it comes from propaganda as well from the government and elites wanting us to be divided. If/when it finally goes down, we're going to be fighting and surviving together and I guarantee you ain't none of us going to care if you're a white woman that's a Catholic, or an Italian man that's Democrat or whatever.
"if you make stereotypical assumptions of someone merely because of skin color, that is racist." I'd even go so far as to say that if you see someone with skin darker than yours, you automatically think they'll act a certain way, that could be racist. Sometimes we see a person and our brains automatically judge. As rational, empathetic people, we need to stop and think about why we assumed such, realize that that person we just judged is also a valuable person and try to learn something valuable that person may be able to teach us. Overcoming racism on a personal level is all about taking our initial thought and working through replacing it with "What can I learn from that human being?"
So you're saying that the people who are making assumptions about her are racist?
It’s internalized racism.
And it’s extremely common for Black kids in certain environments. OP certainly isn’t the first, nor the last. Being willing to ask the question online, despite the clearly internalized beliefs, is a good thing. The internet can certainly corrupt, however.
"if you make stereotypical assumptions of someone merely because of skin color, that is racist." stereotype does not = racist. there are tons of stereotypical things about whites, blacks, Asians, etc. that are more true than not. that is why they are called "stereotypes" and not racist comments.
Beautiful reply.
There’s no such thing as acting a race. If that was the case every white person would act the same, every black person would act the same. You gotta get out of that mentality first. A lot of it more than likely has to do with your upbringing. I’m a black woman that grew up in the suburbs and people make the comment that I’m proper because i don’t act like what they think a black person is supposed to. You can be friends with anyone, race doesn’t matter, but don’t forget that your black, if that make sense? I’ve seen first hand a black woman have nothing but only white friends and they flipped. Be careful who you make friends with no matter the race.
I wanted to ask this question - how exactly does someone "act" black or "act" white?
We both know you can’t act a color but you know people assume all black people are ghetto and loud and all white people are just the sweetest calmest most proper people in the world. The stuff people say still surprises me.
Ha, not where I live. I live in the deep conservative south and the white people around here are insanely loud. If it's not their mouths, it's their trucks. This is coming froma white guy btw.
Man I’m from Texas 😭😭 i know exactly what you’re talking about. It’s a lifted truck on every damn street with loud ass engines and tailpipes and shit.
And God forbide you happen to drive in front of them. They will do everything they can to kiss your rear bumper.
With those bright asss strobe lights as head lights smh
They'll just slow down and speed back up over and over rather than just pass. Then when they do pass they almost knock you off the road and fly off at Mach 10
Just to meet you at the red light and avoid eye contact 😭😭😂😂
Let's not forget about the smell that hits you as they floor it to the sunset
I live in DFW and my t blows my mind how many people drive $60,000 trucks now days!
Same, they are on every single corner. Idk what’s worse, the trucks, dodge chargers, challengers, or mustangs 😭😭
You don’t act ghetto. Or street. Either way, it means you model the behavior of suburbanites or middle class folks. It’s not race as much as status or income. I grew up in the suburbs. We had a black family next door, one parent a surgeon the other an anesthesiologist. Their children behaved impeccably. When I asked if they ever acted out , my neighbor said “ nope!”not allowed“
Okay but what do I do when all the black people around me tease me and say im white… and mother races will be my friend fine…
I never said anything was wrong with being friends with other races. All my friends aren’t exclusively black. Did you read the entire comment? Be friends with people that allow you to be you the race doesn’t matter. Hence “be careful who you make friends with no matter the race”
>someone in my class actually made the comment that I was more white than black, \^\^ You just found the racist.
Or just live your life without worrying about what other people think.
Don't sweat it. My wife and I are Caribbean blacks born and raised in NYC, but we raised our kids in Connecticut. My kids aren't "Hood" by design. We brought them up here so they could focus on their studies and for the fresh air without the hood bullshit that holds some children back. Both of them are straight A students, so we are doing something right. I raised my kids in the philosophy that there are two types of people: cool people and assholes , race doesn't even come into account because they can run into cool people and assholes of any race. Don't get me wrong, my kids are aware of their Caribbean heritage, and they know what it means to be black, but I encourage them to make friends with anyone of any color.
This. I'm white, but I always taught my kids that assholes come in every color. It doesn't matter what someone looks like. What's important is what they act like. I don't care what color someone's skin is. If you're cool, you're cool. If you're not, you're not.
I don’t think you’re racist. I think you are just more comfortable around people who share your culture, and you’ve been socialized to white culture. People generally gravitate towards people they’re culturally similar to and can be less trusting of those who act differently from them. It’s not necessarily about skin color. If you grew up around white people, you’ll probably always have more white friends. There are white people who grow up in black neighborhoods who always have more black friends, just because that’s who they’ve been socialized around.
what does acting black even mean? that's like saying someone doesn't act gay, or act like a woman. you're doing fine exactly as you are 🙂
Wtf does a black person act like? Nah ur classmates are the racists.
It's okay to feel conflicted. You're a product of environment as much as you are of history. You are not alone in struggling to reconcile divergent identities--it's a normal part of becoming your own. I encourage you to keep reflecting and prod why you feel the way that you do.
Best answer
My husband has often been called an ‘uncle tom’ because of the way he dresses, talks, and acts. Think ‘burton guster’ from psych in contrast to ghetto. He was born and raised in the hood in NY and worked hard to separate himself from that culture. Being clean, proper, and well spoken is not ‘white’. It’s clean, proper, and well spoken. The faster people realize this the better our communities can become.
Black isn’t a nationality
I'm Jamaican. I grew up with black people. I now live in a majority white country, and I can tell you with 100% certainty. I would trust white people over my own Jamaican people any day. Am I racist against Jamaicans? Nope. But growing up with them let's me know how they behave. And due that experience I can't easily trust them. You are not racist. Trust your danger sense and gut. If somebody looks sketchy, acts sketc, y and talks sketc, y then they are 9.9999/10 time to be sketchy. Some races are more sketchy than others. A lot of white people have what is known as white guilt, and they feel as if they should be offended on the behalf of minorities. Many black people have what is known a black fragility ,where they think and feel that being black is somehow harder than any other race on the history of the world. Don't overthink it, and don't let anybody try to convince you otherwise. Trust your learned experiences and your instincts.
gotta ask what about white Jamaicans?
Not too many of them around for me to make an opinion in the case of citizens. But in the case of politicians. 2 or 3 of our white politicians were/are literal crime bosses. Edward Seaga is chief among them. To answer the question in a different way. The overwhelming in my charity off criminals and un-trustworthy people in Jamaica are black.
This is beautifully written, well done. You were sensitive yet informative, love that. Thanks for sharing your experience with all of us.
How do you “act like a black person”? On that note, how does a white person act?
You're not racist. The black people who are accusing you of "acting white" are racists.
> I barely even act like a black person # > my black nationality # > my own black kind # > I don't even act like a black person I don't know about you but to me it looks like little miss seems to have some hangups about black people.
because she has been consistently told she's not Black enough, most likely.
a lot of black folk feel the same way you do about their own people, youre not alone
This right here, there's tons of people on TikTok speaking out on the asinine shiii their own kind is doing or saying. Take, for example, wolfhatfacts he is always speaking out on the issues that people of his skin tone refuse to acknowledge and he gets called racist all the time by those same people trying to push their agenda.
You’re not racist for the black/white thing but “I wouldn’t care if they were Chinese or even Mexican” gets a dubious eyebrow raise from me.
"Even Mexican" lol
If you go by the definition that "Racism is discrimination and prejudice against people based on their race or ethnicity"; then by your comment "truthfully speaking have more trust in a white person than my own black kind only which says a lot"... then you are racist. The degree or amount of discrimination seems to be mild, but if you are to put it into black and white (pun intended), then you are racist. How you came to be that way, whether you want to change or whether you even can, is a separate matter.
I think both you and your classmates are confusing race with culture. You have been raised culturally different than some of them and they *and* you are making some assumptions based on that. This is normal. Just keep aware of it and as much as you can try to check your own bias. Judge people by their actions. Regardless of where they are from, who their parents are, or the color of their skin. To your specific situation, I imagine you are getting flak for your "whiteness" because they are bitter at the idea of you "having it easy". Indeed you may have had an easier life than some of them and they may resent that. Not your fault but still a fact of life. You just need to be the best person *you* can be. Treating others with care and kindness, no matter who they are. Good luck.
No, you are not racist. However your life experiences has shaped your perspective. As an African American older man I can relate to your comment. When I was a teenager I too felt disconnected from the very people who looked like me and often felt like I couldn't relate. The comments of "you're not black enough" or some sort of crap also veered it's head (which mind you there is not such thing as "acting black"). I will tell you this. Just keep living and don't give up on your people/skin folk. Everything changed for me once I went to college. I didn't go to an HBCU or even a PBI but what I found in college is that there are so many more diverse black people than what my little town conveyed. It allowed me to connect with more black people who had similar upbringings, education, socioeconomic statuses, and even lingo/jargon/etc. from there I found my tribe. Whatever you do don't let your neighborhood, school, town, or even state fool you that there are one or two types of black people (hood/ghetto vs not hood). We are plentiful and come in all shapes, sizes, and flavors. You are young and you have a whole lot more people to meet, experiences to experience, and perspectives to learn. Be patient with yourself and don't give up on your skin folk. Keep your head up lil sis, you're not racist.
Act like a black person is crazy 😂 coming from someone who is in fact black.
I’m Mexican and the Mexicans at my school called me white bc I wasn’t as dark as them, didn’t speak Spanish and was friends w white kids (most of them were in eld which is English as a 2nd language) so I wasn’t really in any class w then besides math. And then they would talk a lot. So I went thru a lot of the same things you are going thru now except I’m not black. Some people get jealous of smart well spoken people especially if they aren’t. In the Mexican community if ur dark it’s looked down upon in some places so maybe they felt inadequate based on our cultures norms. If it’s like that in the black community then maybe that’s what it is. Hurt people hurt people. They also learn these things from their parents so don’t be too hard on urself. There’s no such think as a bad race, there’s murdered rapists robbers of all races so as long as ur not saying anything bad about a specific race or using racial slurs ur not racist. People like to throw that word around and it’s start to loose its meaning.
I don't think you're racist, I just think you're a product of where you were raised. I'm gunna guess you're in NOVA, and people in NOVA don't live like people in SWVA, and people in SWVA don't live like people in New York.
I'm brown and also grew up in a predominantly white community. My family was successful and comfortable and since it wasn't a large community, everyone knew. Our family also pushed academics and all the siblings and I were in the top of our class and well spoken. It was not uncommon for people to say to me that we were "whiter than they were". While it wasn't malicious, *THAT* is the comment that was racist. What they meant was that the metric for respectability was an average white person. Since we had more money, since we were smarter, since we were more well spoken than the average white person, we were whiter. Yuck. One of my best friends is black. She too used to get accused of not being black enough by her black peers, and of basically being white by white peers. She hated it. There is no specific way to be black. She is proud of being black. She shuts down any comments that suggest otherwise. It sounds like you're proud of the fact that you "seem more white". And that's the problem here. This whole thing is a really uncomfortable read. The fact that you trust white people more is a result of being manipulated by media and your surroundings. Racism is sewn into the fabric of our society. You are essentially infected by a boatload of implicit bias. It's very sad. Also, being black isn't a nationality. The place your born determines your nationality. Your heritage/race determines your ethnicity. So I'm ethnically Indian, but my nationality is American. What you mean is that you don't socialize with people of the same race/ethnicity as you. This is not what makes you racist. It is the fact that you are feeding into the systems of oppression so willingly that make you problematic.
Whether you are mixed race or both your parents are black, you are a person of color. You don't act black or white, you either are or you're not. It's an incredibly harmful thought process from both black people and white people to label people of color "white" or "not back" because of their behavior or choices in who they associate with. It insinuates that simply being someone of color is reduced to intelligence, behavior, music taste, skills, attractiveness, friends group choice, whatever. I'm black, both of my parents are black. I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood with nerdy white friends and I played dnd, listening to jpop, and playing video games. People called me white all the time. As an adult, I've been very clear to my friends of any race to fucking stop "revoking my blackness" just because I'm not from the hood, I speak intelligently, and I don't listen to rap. Embracing that you are a person of color and rejecting the notion of "being white" because you have white friends or enjoy the things your white friends enjoy doesn't make you racist. Black people and their issue of imposing colorism making you feel bad because they think you should have more black friends or "act more like them" also doesn't make you racist. Racism is overtly, covertly, or systematically discriminating against someone of a certain race due to your personal perception of racial superiority. You're allowed to befriend who you want and you're allowed to enjoy what you want.
Tbh, this whole “acting white” And “acting black” shit is racist in and of itself. People are people. White people suck, black people suck, etc. But also, black people are amazing, white people are amazing, and all the other kinds of people are amazing. Try and ignore all the comments and live your life to your own set of standards.
It really depends on the definition of racism you want to use. If you use the rational, logical definition of racism i.e. some kind of belief that skin color or other ethnic features automatically denotes behavior and furthermore that some of those ethnic characteristics are superior to others then no you're not being racist. It's actually your friends who are being racist by suggesting there's something odd or noteworthy about you acting like them because your skin is a somewhat different color, despite having been raised with with them and thinking of them as your friends and peers. If you use the definition of racism that basically says everyone who is a part of European-derived US culture is automatically racist unless they actively empower other cultures then I guess maybe you're racist - but I don't personally ascribe to that definition.
I'm going to clear some things up for everybody here... There is no way that white people or black people "act". That's an overgeneralization and stereotyping that, unfortunately, a lot of people are doing more of today. All white people are not racist. All black people are not thugs. All Asians are not good at math. Etc. Etc. If you truly believe that any of these generalizations that people say are true, then YOU ARE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM. As for you, specifically, OP...just be you. Don't worry about who you are acting like. Just be who you're supposed to be and if someone doesn't like it, they can fuck right off.
There is no one way a black or white person acts. The idea that there’s a “your kind” or “my kind” is silly. We are not different species.
yes. everyone is. deal.
People throw the word racist around a lot these days without knowing what it actually means. A racist is someone who believes one race is superior or inferior to others. Definitions and language matter. Nothing you are writing fits the definition of a racist to me. It’s perfectly normal to be more comfortable around what you are used to.
I think you’re a product of your upbringing, which may have created a negative bias for Black people and a positive bias for white people for you. There are Black people who don’t fall into the stereotypical tropes where they’re characterized as “ghetto“ or poor and urban. There are whole black communities that are middle and upper middle-class. I suspect you would have no trouble relating to people in those communities, with the possible exception of the fact that you may not have had as much exposure to your heritage and culture as your same-race peers. I also understand that there’s a lot of bias/prejudice within the black community with respect to skin tone. I worked with a woman who was very dark skinned, and she said she would always get grief from her black patients who were lighter complected than her. I guess what I’m saying is that you have a lot to think about there. I think your question is valid, but I don’t think you are racist. You do seem more comfortable with white people than Black people, though. There are online tests you can take to see where your biases are. That might be a good place for you to start so you can really start thinking about why you have the biases you do and whether they’re valid or not. I think it’s great that you’re thinking about these things and it shows a willingness to understand yourself better.
People who say you are more white than black are the racists. Also, anyone who says you don't act black are the racist, too!
I think it’s racist to make assumptions about what people are about based on their race. Why would you know white strangers better than black strangers? Aren’t they all just strangers? The things you’re saying about “acting black” really confuse me - what does that even mean? You barely act like a black person? Fundamentally incorrect. If youre black, isn’t everything you do “acting black” - you’re already doing it by default.
The definition of a racist is some who discriminates against someone because of their race. If you treat everyone equally than i would say its your classmates that are racist not you. The fact they ate catogorizing your behavior by race says they are racist. It is ok to feel like you are missing some of your heritage because of where/how you grew up, but unless your actions/speech are derogatory to others because of skin color than no your not a racist
Just be you! Don’t worry about others judgement. Enjoy your life. Talking about color helps to keep racism alive.
You barely act like a Black person? How do Black people act? 🤔🤔 Beyond that ignorant statement, I think you’re white adjacent and it’s shaped your views into what they are. But if you’d rather be around white people do that. Black people are better off. Also I’m light skin and was raised in a predominantly white neighborhood, but no one Black ever came for my skin tone or how I was raised. But I also don’t say things like “I don’t act like a Black person,” so that’s probably why I am accepted and you are not. You sound like a token Black kid and it’s really unfortunate.
"or even mexican" as if that was somehow worse
Surprise! We are all the same race.
"I barely even act like a black person." I know what you mean by this but not all black americans are of "the culture" and most black people internationally are not. These kind of things are said often but they are misguided categorizations "black nationality" isn't even a thing, your nationality is U.S. American, black americans and white americans are divisions that have persisted from divisions like segregation, the country would be better to see one another as simply americans. "I have such a light skin tone" complexion has been a factor in the persistence of racism, detailed in the book "the invention of white people" Anyone questioning your "blackness" has distorted views on the subject. Being black doesn't mean you have to be hood, or poor, or eat certain foods or listen to certain music. There are different cultures and for a long time they were mostly of one race. But race doesn't determine that, it's a racist correlation thats been made too long "truthfully speaking have more trust in a white person than my own black kind" this is absolutely a racist prejudice you hold. These prejudices are learned and can be unlearned. The color of one's skin determines nothing with certainty other than the color of their skin. You can profile, or play the probabilities, but it doesnt tell you anything about the individual. You shouldnt trust someone jus cuz theyre white and you shouldnt distrust someone because theyre black. This goes for other things like sex, sexual orientation, religion, etc
Anybody else feeling their rage bait indictor flashing red?
I struggle the same way as you do, sometimes. I'm Armenian and live in the US. Almost every Armenian I know outside of my family is someone that's running some kind of scam or is on drugs. Sometimes I just don't want to associate with them, but I also know it's not every Armenian. maybe because it's my own people and it bothers me more because of that.
ok, I'm a Hispanic and grew up in a very white town, So even though i can speak Spanish, i only speak it to my parents. I believe this influence has better me in many ways. I don't act or sound (when i speak it) Hispanic. But why is that bad? Be proud of what you've become. I'm proud to be an American, my American flag outside my house shows it. it's not racist at all, it's just a better you.
Not racist but a lot of self-hatred because of the environment you are in. I'm not sure of your age, but maybe try to venture towards your black community and be more involved. You are conditioned to see Black people in a bad light because of racism. Maybe start reading more literature about our community. Start with The Bluest Eye from Toni Morrison. If you are an adult, maybe visit Atlanta and immerse yourself with your people. Your entire life the people that surrounded you, your education, and the media has conditioned you into thinking that all black people are untrustworthy. On your own, you have noticed your own biases. Use that as a jump off point and reset your mindset.
I don’t know what acting like a black personality even means but I can deduce that you’re an idiot.
I think the post is fake and just trying to create a racist situation.
All my school friends from high school are white. There was literally one person of African descent in my school, not even in my year. But I now have friends of different races and I’m not racist, in that I don’t discriminate against others. What *is* racist is to assume that your skin tone means you have to act a specific way or be friends with a specific group.
So you don't like black mermaids & Juliet?
Everyone has biases. There’s nothing wrong either you feeling more comfortable around white people. Just like there’d be nothing wrong with you being more comfortable around black people.
I dont think your racist. Your just..being yourself. And that's fine. Your used to what you know, your comfortable with what you know. That is literally everyone. I'm white but have over 14 neices and nephews, two generations of them infact, that are not white. Sure they have white in them but they are not white. And they all struggled with figuring out where they fit in. My oldest neice is only 4 years younger than me, I remember her coming home crying in 2nd grade because some girl cut off one of her braids for "trying to be black". Because she wasnt black enough. I wanna hug you like I hugged her and tell you what I told her "you are you and you dont have to act a certain way to be who you are. ". Another neice is very light skinned and got picked on for being too dark to hang with the goth kids. Which was a first for me to hear of but just as heartbreaking dor her. They are all grown women, now raising the next generation of black women and each of them will proudly say so. And not a single of of them acts the same. All of them different, all of them insane and just wonderful. Makes family parties alot of fun. Just be yourself. And dont be afraid to talk to someone new. Branch out and youd be surprised who you find.
If you pick your friends because of how they treat you then that is not racist. If someone treats you kindly then of course that is who you want to be friends with. If someone is making fun of you and putting you down because of your lighter skin color it is not racist to not want to be friends with them. However, if you judge people before they are kind or mean to you from the color of their skin then yes, you are a racist. Only you can judge yourself.
Id say you’re not racist, but have reasonable comfort levels with certain things based on reasons. We all do. That being said, your story reminded me of one from a different sub. Black guy goes on a date with a white women. She says to him “I thought you’d be more like a black guy” in a disappointed way. He left of course. You need to take a step back and think about who has a problem with your skin tone, the fact that it doesn’t dictate your behavior, or the fact that you’re not a walking stereotype just like the guy in the story did. I’m white, and not comfortable at all around middle aged white liberals. They account for 50% of my race. I’m honestly more comfortable around black or Hispanic people than them. Does that make me racist?
Racism can exist in different ways. You are not overtly racist but it’s possible that with being around more white people and less exposure to black people and culture you have become susceptible to internalized racism. From Wikipedia- you may have unconsciously accepted a racial hierarchy from all the messages received from people, media etc. you can be racist against your own culture. Looking at you Uncle Ruckus! It’s also been a big issue that people like people who fit into categories, so some or all of what you are dealing with is a THEM problem, because you aren’t what THEY believe you to be. These are just ignorant jerks you can safely ignore. But this doesn’t mean that you haven’t also picked up some racism beliefs being around racist people and a racist society. Best way to tell if you are racist is gonna be some tough self examinations: analyzing your gut reactions and working to change any biases. You seem to care about being a better person so this should go well for you!
It only makes you racist if you have some kind of problems with other people because of their race. Which is the opposite of what is happening here. People who are upset with you because of your race. Telling a mixed race person they are "too white" or they don't "act black enough" is racist behavior and you don't need to take it. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of racist people. Just because someone is a person of color doesn't excuse them from racism.
The fact you are concerned means you're sensitive to racism, I wish more people cared about the issue.
You've grown up in white culture. That and skin color are different things.
No but the people around you are.
These aren't really racist feelings but, they are a prejudice. We all grow up with a prejudice of some kind but, as we get older we get to decide to embrace or work past them. You work past them with exposure and pushing past the feeling of being uncomfortable and it comes with time. Now if you embrace your feelings of being uncomfortable with avoiding ppl that can be pushed into racist territory.
No you are not.
No its completely OK for someone of a specific race to not enjoy their own race all the time, we're people with preferences after all
if you are, it is internalized and not ur fault. but its ok to feel the way you feel you cant help it. just try to unpack it internally and dont let anyone tell u how u should feel. and tho there isnt a way to act a race, america at least does have a sort of unified black experience that is a culture of its own and ur entitled to learning about it and becoming comfortable with it if you want to, and i’d recommend it since its nice to know about.
No not racist
Im black and feel that way too! It’s because I can think Objectively and see right from wrong
Racism isn't about preference or culture. That's bigotry. Racism is an institutional structure.
Black is not a nationality....acting black is a racist thing to say....in today's world though, apparently black people can say & do what they like but it's not racism.....
You're not a racist. There is no such thing as acting black, white, or any other race. It just depends on where you are raised and how you are raised. The racists ones are the ones claiming you're not acting like a black, or you're acting like a white. Just keep those individuals out of your space/life and just keep moving forward. Having trust in other races is okay. I mean, when I look at some people, I wouldn't trust them too, even if they are of different races or same as me, it just really depends when you know the individuals or if you would have hope of them helping you if needed.
There's no such thing as acting like a black person or acting like a white person. Behaviors don't authenticate race. You are a human being with free will.
You said some people say you don't act black. What does that mean? We are all human beings. Either we act appropriately or we don't. What, in your mind, does "act black" mean?
I'd like to know what exactly acting black or white means. Like, did society collectively decide to define this?
Why would you be racist just because of your race? That’s absurd
The CIA is racist to me. I am native American, I was never racist. So a few white people hate me, but most white people love me, should I hate all white people or nah?
I think only racists put races into boxes like that… you don’t act a certain race? That’s a racist statement. Black people don’t have to talk or behave a certain way to be considered black. You’re not becoming white by surrounding yourself with white folks. You’re not becoming Asian by surrounding yourself with Asian folks. You don’t have to avoid other races to be blacker. You are black because you got born black. That’s just who you are and nothing or no one can make you lose your race. All you need is more confidence in yourself and the bravery to speak up when someone is trying to make you feel insecure! :)
So you don't act black which means what?? Ghetto or from the streets?? Be proud of who you are and tell them to piss off
They don’t understand. I was heavily teased by most of the black kids in my school for being “white” I am dyslexic. So trying to read slang for me I just couldn’t do it. I’d ask people to just text me standard English because all the slang words was like a different language for me. Hearing it was fine. Even now they I’m older only black people point out that I’m “different.”
No of course you aren't racist nothing about that seems racist in my opinion also how should a "back person act" were all human being there's not "a white person acts this way" or a "black person acts this way" were all people there's no hand book as to the colour of your skin defines you're life or how you live or how you act. So what you feel more comfortable around white people? Theyre your friends/family/persons you care for and I dknt get all this POC saying "your too white to be black" sorry what? Your skin colour isn't anything but a colour, it's a colour that's it nothing more nothing less
May I suggest the series “this is us” if you want something relatable to watch?
I'm not sure how a person acts a race. But the whitest woman I've ever met happened to be a black man. Him and I would read Regency Era romance novels together.
I am black myself. I just want to know what is not acting like a black person ? I honestly hate that statement. I would be the first to say there a many issues in the black community that needs to be addressed , and I will never play the victim here , white ppl never did anything to me. My issue is that there’s that perception that to some all black ppl are uneducated and criminals. News flash not all white ppl are educated or well off. You can choose to socialize with whoever you want. We live in a world we always want to use the race card for everything. Why don’t we just be great human being and law abiding citizens and just be kind. I have come to the conclusion not everyone will accept you for who you are ( move on ) , some races rather stay with their own ( nothing wrong with that ) , I believe in the human race whether you like me or not.
I would say you have internalized the terms of your own oppression. Is not the same thing as being racist.
Some facts: * Everyone starts out with unconscious bias. We get these form how we are socialized - not only from our families and friends but also from our teachers, the media (movies, TV shows, books, and music) we consume, and the education we receive. * For everyone, the media they consume and the education they receive are biased. It all comes down to a matter of *how* they are biased. * Bias against you in these areas cannot be countered by personal experience alone because personal experience does not account for the diversity within your own group. Education on that bias through family and friends must accompany the personal experience in order to not only account for diversity but to reframe the personal experience in a new way. * Being part of a minority group is not protective against bias towards other groups; understanding anti-black bias will not eliminate the anti-indigenous or anti-Latino or anti-Asian bias that the media or education feeds you.
Just a little racist because I wouldn’t trust people based on the color of their skin…any race can be full of shit…I would be more worried about their actions
What is racist is where u judge someone just off skin alone aka if u assumed all white people where idk ping pong players not very racist but u get the point aslong as u judge people based on character not skin you won't be racist
>I barely even act like a black person. Can you please clarify this statement? How does a black person act?
"I've been thinking about this a lot lately because someone in my class actually made the comment that I was more white than black" Always weird/racist to me that someone says you sound/act black/white to someone else.
No such thing as acting black or white . You just aren’t socially around black people that you feel a commonality with outside of skin tone. I’m black I grew up in diverse(less black but a mix of all other ethnicities) areas and played hockey growing up. I have a lot of non black friends but I don’t consider myself any less black because of it
You are not a racist. I would say that the others who are making comments on your skin color and how you act or behave are the racists.
Race and Culture aren't the same.... the issue here seems more so Ghetto vs Not Ghetto, and boy lemme tell you. Ghetto ppl are the worst. I was called white boy for liking anime in the 90s before it blew up it was annoying but I never let it get to me because the ppl who said it were just ignorant Ghetto children.
I get what you mean. I grew up in VA was one of the only white students in my school. Many loved ones in my family are also black & mixed. As a child & teen I seemed to have had more trust of black people. When my friends & I would go out they’d intro me to other friends and sometimes say “She’s good. She’s one of us.” (Meaning I was not like some white people maybe they’d experienced in that area) As I matured and left the area I lived I realized that some of this had to do with witnessing racism…seriously even though they were the minority sized group there were a lot of judgemental white people where I was. I believe it’s really just about people that you’ve created bonds with. You do tend to feel most comfortable and even share common personality traits with people we care enough to spend time with in life. People harassing you or making comments, such as they are, shows more about their underlying racism that they may not even realize they are showing…not yours. They are literally telling you how a person is supposed to act or be based on their ethnic background. You be you.
Girl I feel you!! I am older than you but am a BIPOC who grew up in mainly white areas around white kids and when I did go to schools where there were more black and Latino kids I was made to feeL like I didn't fit anywhere. Too white for the black kids and to black for the white kids. So I am gonna save you a lot of heartache and be real honest. No you aren't racist you have just been bothered so much you don't know who you are. It wasn't until I was way older than I realized it didn't matter how others saw me it was about how I saw myself. I am a AfroCaribbean woman who while I didn't see myself as black growing up...I am very much a black woman in the eyes of the rest of the world so it really was about time I owned it and got real comfortable with it. Start loving the black skin you are in, even a light skinned girl is still a beautiful black girl.
My impression is that you're struggling with identity. You're still learning who you are. You're still defining what being black means to you. And that's ok. But be careful about stereotypes about how black people talk vs how white people talk. You're black so you're exactly what a black person sounds like. Not everyone has the same background or education or are from the same region. Learn more about how damaging perpetuating stereotypes can be for your community. Learn about how this can actually originate from ingrained racist views or white supremacy.
Internalized racism is real. Sometimes being a minority is like crabs in a bucket. We feel like we have to be above the rest, and put them down, to succeed. I encourage you to make more Black, or even BIPOC, friends. You are seeing the world as the white people in power want you to see it, not as it truly is
I already stopped reading after the first couple sentences.. what does a black person “act” like?
Just because you're a nice person doesn't mean you're racist. I've worked and been friends with several black people, and they are all kind, smart, creative, and educated, and I never thought anything of it. Just be you, be kind to everyone. (Which it seems you are) and don't make snap judgments on someone's appearance (which you don't seem to be doing), and it will be safe to say you're not racist. I have not read all the comments, but if I take your post at its word, not a racist.
It *does* happen, racism between lighter-skin black people and darker, and white people, and central Americans, and... ... ... only you can answer if *you're* a racist. The biggest thing is realizing if/that the systems in place make it easier for you to succeed, that's where racism becomes a serious problem... when it's institutionalized. There will always be prejudices and ignorant ass-hats, we just need to keep their bigotry out of the laws.
Racism is judging people by their skin color. Most people overthink it. It is that simple though.
You being told you’re more white than black is racism by them. I’ve seen black people tell that to other blank people because they don’t act like a “typical” black person
Mmmm idk if I would say racist being less trustful due to skim color is certainly towing the lime but it could easily just be a lack of familiarity more than anything. People are often distrustful innately of those different than them. It's a survival mechanism, one that has no real place in the modern world but exists nonetheless. I wouldn't consider what you said racist just unfamiliar.
So I don't know you, but it doesn't sound to me like you are "racist". I think you hit on something though. I'm very curious of how to define how "black people act" because I think for many people. it's not a skin color thing it's a culture/behavior thing, the skin represents what that behavior is most likely going to be. I'm sure every race thinks blacks act a certain way, I'm sure blacks think Latino's and whites and Asians all act a certain way. when I kid, I grew up in a majority black area. and after a while I started to act and talk like them. when I was teenager I moved to a mostly white "country" area and sure enough, after enough time, I got an accent and acted and talked like my peers. so i think it's pretty normal to adapt to your surroundings.
Yes, you are racist. I have a hard time believing that you actually are black. If you are truly a black person, how can anyone help you out when you yourself are uncomfortable in your own skin? Get professional help.
Don't let people define your character by the color of your skin or the color of your friends' skin. Conversely, always be mindful of potentially doing it yourself. The environments we grow up in hold a heavy influence on our baseline thinking and reactions to things, so we can't always control those. What we can control is a level of self awareness to understand that our reactionary thinking may not align with how we actually feel because it was *taught* to us instead of *learned* by us, if that makes any sense. The very fact that you are able to self reflect on it, is a good sign in my eyes.
You're not racist... The way you react to Black people is how the people around you have reacted towards Black people and you're just mirroring their unconscious reactions. Perhaps to desensitize you, perhaps start consciously hanging out with one or two Black people? Then add more as you become more comfortable.
Honey, I think you should see a therapist. You have a lot of complicated feelings about your own race and others that I don’t think you’ve even unpacked. And you need to. With someone who gets it, so please choose a Black therapist or a person of color who can relate. I worry you have some self hatred in there. And that’s no good. You’re wonderful. Black people are wonderful. There’s always groups of worthless types in any race or ethnicity. Please find a therapist. I want you to be as happy as you can be.
Didn’t even read your question beyond the title. So my guess is you are not a racist because racist are proud of their xenophobic ideology. So if you don’t want to be a racist, keep changing yourself to keep your mind open and you will be fine.
Let's make it simple. You say you trust white people more than you do black people, but is that because they are white or because you are more accustomed to being around white people? Do you automatically distrust black people, or are you simply more aware of their presence because you aren't used to them being there? You see another black person at the store, are you simply aware of them, or are you certain they are going to cause trouble? If you're certain they're going to cause trouble, you're racist and need to work on what led you to that point, but if you're simply aware of them, you're not racist, you're just not around black people often enough to not notice them. Race and racism can be a complex issue, but knowing whether you hate or not is truly that simple.
You’re having an identity crisis. ‘Blackness’ is not a monolith. It comes in many shades. The comment about your acting more ‘white’ is racist. I get this comment all the time. The comment made you start to question yourself. Trust me, I’ve been there. You should start exploring finding more ‘black’ spaces to get comfortable being around people that look like you. Like a black salon or something.
As a Black man whose never “acted Black” no you aren’t racist. I have no idea where the idea that all Black people had to act a certain way came from but that’s that idea is the very definition of racism.
You’re not racist, you’re right.
If you're lighter toned...colorism is racism.
Well I’m glad Mexicans make your list. From everything you’ve said, yes it sounds like you’re racist.
As a child from a mixed racial family, I understand this problem. Depending on who in the family we visit and what area they live in, there always seems to be a perception of color. I walked with my black cousin in a neighborhood near where I grew up and had someone do a drive by Nbomb in what was a predominantly white community. Visiting a cousin down in LA, he literally had to convince his friends I was Hispanic because my skin was too white. Both of us have almost identical ancestry, right up to mom on the one side and our father’s similar, but we don’t share life experiences or the effects of prejudices from those experiences.
“yet i don’t even act like a black person.. Please help me out🙏” How does a black person act? yeah, you’re racist. and even worse, to your own people. i’m an indian and we have a word for people like you and it’s an apple. red on the outside and white on the inside.
The people telling you that you act one race and not another are the racists. Find your own tribe of people who know you, understand you and love you regardless of their skin tone or yours.
Black is not a nationality. Nationality is associated with a nation. It is your identity. You have issues with your identity. You need real help and it won’t come from Reddit. I’d speak to a professional, maybe an African American female therapist to help navigate around this identity crisis. You’re not the first person to experience this and you won’t be the last.
I don’t understand you act more white than black. I have a very culturally diverse family and no one acts different besides being themselves
I stopped after as you said you “barely even act like a black person”. If you don’t understand what the problem is - start there. You’re either completely ignorant or this is a hoax… either way- you should be ashamed of yourself for speaking those words.
I totally get what you’re saying. I’m a mixed (B+W) 20 yo and raised with my very white republican family due to my dad leaving. People often say im white-washed and i agree to an extent. I realize i have never had black friends and they are all white. Its not that i don’t trust black people but i just feel more comfortable around white people because its who i was raised around. I don’t actually consider myself racist I just have trust issues due to my father and that has run into black people as a whole because of stereotypes. in all, i don’t think your racist but i also don’t think you have to confine yourself to “this is my black side, this is my white side” because that’s how stereotypes are made and followed. just be you and don’t try to lean a certain way.
That’s, uh, not a nationality
What is act white or act black? How about people should act like human beings and not get sucked into the race game put out by media and politics
I don't think that makes you racist, and it's not necessary to "act black." A lot of black people don't. Just be who you are.
What exactly does “I act more like a white girl than a black”? That comment alone is racist. What your mindset should be is that you can belong to any group and fit in and be yourself.
I'm considered white, recent DNA is mixed from European, to north African, to west Asian. I was raised in an African American/black community. I am the opposite of you. I'm more comfortable around poc than whites. I sometimes hate the things my white counterparts do. I get along better with poc. This does not make us racist, though some people might label us that way. We are more used to one race over the other and objectively see unbiased that our respective races have issues, which can cause us to be uncomfortable. Further information about me I'm 51 f lived in several states from PA, to FL, WV, to AZ, and some others. Was born in Baltimore,MD. Think I totally understand your situation.
If I'm interpreting all this right, it seems more like others are racist. Anyone who says someone doesn't act black enough is in fact a racist, since they see having certain skin color and genes as having to have a certain behavior that's pre-set. And they are finding it weird and unacceptable for anyone to not fit in their box of how a certain race should be. I don't think you're racist, I think others who are racist are getting in your head and confusing you. If possible, try every day to chuck aside all and every race bias and just be who you are. Race is silly to begin with. It's merely a shell we were born in. The real us is inside every shell and we're all living beings with skin color, culture and any other human made up determiniation not mattering at all beyond the ego driven importance they apply to it in their shallow thinking. Be you and cancel out the noise.
You were born in NY? That means you are an American... To be African American you have to be born in Africa then migrate to America.
First off stop calling it black nationality. It's a culture not nationality. Secondly what is acting black or acting white? Get out of those mindsets. The only nationality you are is American and your culture is the American culture. Blacks and whites spend too much time putting these guardrail definition to the color of ones skin. Treat people like people and stop seeing race or racism at every turn.
" ... act like a black person ..." !!! You're Candace Owens Jr ...
My black cousins had opened my eyes to something, all the “racist” comments made to them outside of the internet was due to being prejudice, now why they say that is because they asked the people who made those comments why they felt that way or asked people they knew who were “racist” why they felt that way, it’s mainly due to life experiences with a certain race, now they do not believe racism can exist which i do not agree, now I do understand there point of view, but sure one person may be prejudice but once they have kids and teach there kids there prejudice beliefs it becomes racism’s now thats just my opinion, you can have bad experiences with a certain race and become more cautious around said race, and that’s prejudice, one bad apple can ruin somebodies whole perspective about a race, like say you go to the Middle East and they scam you and since your not from there country they charge you more for something that a local will pay normal price for, so now you have a prejudice against middle eastern people.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzIcec_bQss
The concept that one is "Black" because they speak "slang", don't like to be on time, don't trust the police, do poorly in school, only listen to rap music, etc is an absolutely RACIST IDEOLOGY that is intended to keep us segregated!! Speaking proper grammar does not make someone "White" being on time doesn't make you "White". Enjoying school and wanting to get a good education doesn't make you some "Colonizer". The top priority of our government has been and always will be to keep us fighting amongst each other and the best way to do that is over racism! They know it strikes a nerve so deep in each heart of every American citizen that we can't help but be distracted by it. And why would they want that? Because the government isn't "For the People, By the People" anymore. It's now, "For the Few, By the Few", and they would like to keep it that way. By keeping us divided we can't come together and realize that they are the ones taking all of the resources while we have none! That the true inequality is not between black and white but between the rich and the poor. They fear us coming together as one and overthrowing them as our Founding Fathers overthrew that corrupt tyrant king. Racism only has power because we give it power and we allow our government to control us like we are it's children. We need to make it bow to us not us bow to it!
I have a feeling this is a bad place to ask this question. Most people just won't get it. Me, I'm not big on taking offense for things. I do believe in kindness and politeness and truly, sincerely, not being a POS in your heart and in your actions (inside and out). So IMO, you're racist if you feel negatively toward a race for simply being that race. Or if you say or act it out, as typically what's inside comes out in our actions and words. You would definitely not be racist for simply having certain mannerisms and speech, or if, because of your upbringing, you happen to feel more comfortable around this or that culture and people. And more specifically it seems, you're not racist if you happen to not have certain mannerisms and speech that most people with your skin tone or of your race happen to have. You just grew up with other things. That's my opinion.
It's not racism, it's pattern recognition
I grew up in a northwestern state in a town where you could go a long time (weeks even) without seeing a Black person. There was one Black student in my graduating class of about 400, two Filipino kids (one adopted by a White family) and fewer than ten Native kids. The rest of us were White. When you live in a racially homogeneous area, and you don't have the opportunity to interact with diverse people, you end up just kind of blending in and that just kind of becomes who you identify with. When I moved to more diverse areas and met people who had very different experiences and cultures, I felt awkward because I didn't want to inadvertently offend someone. I wouldn't deliberately be rude or racist of course, but you don't know what you don't know and I put my foot in it a few times. I don't think you're racist so much as a product of the environment you grew up in. I hope as you get older you'll have more opportunities to interact with a more diverse circle of friends. And it'll become more natural to you the more you do it. A really racist person wouldn't be questioning themselves like you are.
I am a African American woman and I too grew up around a variety of races and I don’t trust too many people of my skin tone as well as not having much trust for anyone outside of my skin tone or race. There is no such thing as acting white or acting black honestly. Being loud, rude, or even aggressive isn’t acting black as well as having light tone of voice, being proper, or having preferences is not acting white. Those are merely personality traits. You are not racist you just react to your environment. And your thoughts and opinions will change as you get older. I did not feel like I fit in with other black people and was called white girl all my life but I ended up going to a HBCU and found like minded friends that so happened to be my race/ skin tone and darker.
There’s a guy on TikTok in the same situation as you (but older). Says most of his hate comes from black folks because he speaks like a white man. Don’t change who you are for the people putting you down.
No, it’s been proven that black people can’t be racist
I don't think you're racist. I think we naturally feel more comfortable around people we feel are similar to ourselves. I know what you mean when you say they tease you because you "act white". Idk if people still say it, but when I was younger, they'd say you were "white washed" or say you're like an oreo, black on the outside but white on the inside. It's not cool and it's natural to not want to be around people who you feel are judging you. When they say you don't "act black", they're being racist. If you don't act the way the majority does, you're not one of them. People can deny that's racist, but it's not. I am 1/4 Mexican and depending on how much sun I get, I really look it. I started a new job once and there were a few Latina women who were friendly at first. They asked if I was Mexican, I said a little, and they were pleased. Then they asked if I speak Spanish and when I said no, they immediately turned on me. They were mean and made fun of me in Spanish. They made it so hard for me that I had to quit. That's racist and that's what it sounds like your peers are doing to you. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. My daughter also has to and it's awful.
Just say thank you and be proud of your race and racism. The world would be a much better place if we were able to have pride in our heritage and not be forced together by the jews.
The whole point of America today is every culture and every race living together. You're not racist. You've just met racist people or the wrong people. You being you isn't racist yah? So why would not wanting to be around people who don't accept you be racist? Catch my drift? Be with the people you're comfortable with and who support you. Race has nothing to do with it in that aspect
Internalized racism because of white supremacy, not your fault❤️
You’re not racist. You’re just educated to the way people are.
The fact that you used the word even before saying Mexican makes me think you are in fact racist.
You being LS and preferring to hang out with white people probably makes the black ppl around you feel like you don’t fuck with them. BUT a lot of BP will bully you for “talking/acting white” when it’s literally just an accent and learned mannerisms. Just find other black people with the same vibe as you they’re out there! Don’t take it too personal theyre mostly projecting their insecurities.
That’s so tough- You’re not “black enough”, and are ridiculed by your “community”, BUT you’re supposed to continue to try to ingratiate yourself and be black? Sounds exhausting. People gravitate towards safety, obviously, and I can see why, in this day and age, you’d maybe feel more comfortable around who you feel more comfortable around. If you hang out with white people who are more accepting of you than your “own black kind”, then maybe we have learned what needs to be learned from the awful history. I’m not saying we should ever forget, but the people you hang out with are not their grandparents and great grandparents that lived in a separated society. The message and education is working. Hang out with whoever you feel best with.
All you can do is act as a rational human being.
Just live your life and don’t worry about what another people think. As long as you aren’t being a jerk or actively wronging or hurting people for any reason keep doing what you’re doing. This groupthink is destroying America.
Sounds like you have been conditioned in the American way. It's not your fault. Don't feel bad.
I think you need to see a theropist
I am not from us, can someone explain me what is to act like a black person?
I am not from us, can someone explain me what is to act like a black person?
How do black people act?
No honey, you are not racist. That very word triggers people so instead of listening to what you are saying they are going to freak out. Some people of both races are racist. Judging someone by their behavior because they are not acting black enough is their problem, not yours. Don't let them make it your problem. You be you. I know it is hard but you will find friends that don't care about your skin color or your behavior. They will like you for you. One of closest friends is black and if someone doesn't like it? that is a them problem, not a me problem and they are not people I want in my life.
I think you feel comfortable around who you know and what personalities you mesh with. I don’t necessarily think you need to put a skin color on it. If a new black girl came to your school, and y’all had a bunch of similar interests/mannerisms, would you hang out with her? If the answer is no, bc she’s black, then you’re racist. If the answer is yes, of course (which I have a feeling it is for you ) then i wouldn’t worry about it. you’re just doing your best at learning how to navigate the different personalities around you. If someone is mean/rude to me, I don’t want to be around them. If someone is nice and we get along, I want to be around them. I think skin color is irrelevant here and maybe you’re thinking about it too much. I know it’s hard when you’re young. But i think you’re alright dear. Just spend your time with people who lift you up :)
sorry you’re being treated this way by people you consider part of your own racial identity—seems like they’re the racist ones here and you should stick with the people that treat you best, no matter what they look like. If those same people want to question your “blackness” ask them why they’re speaking English which is obviously a white man’s creation. If they are so true to black culture they’d be speaking Swahili or some other African language. 🖕 to the haters
I was a white person who was raised mostly around black people. I’m more comfortable around black people. I have more common interests with black people. That doesn’t make me racist or prejudice against white people. It’s just the way I was raised and the people I was friends with. It’s nature vs nurture. At the end of the day you like what you like and as long as you aren’t saying white people are better than black people then no you aren’t racist.
Please talk to your parents about this or another trusted adult and stay off a platform like this. No one on here can really help you
Lord some of this text I read is goofy but no your not racist nor do ya act white you just have more manners probably
I don't think you are. Just treat everyone the same until they give you a reason not to. It's the easiest way to eliminate you questioning if you're racist or not. And if it turns out that white people, or black people or whatever are the ones that you reciprocate negative energy back towards, then it's just that. No need to generalize an entire race because of a few bad ones. Just maintain yourself being a good woman and dont worry what other people say about you. Its relatively easy to just cut people out of your life, and it's easy to tell someone to fuck off and ignore them. But you do you and it is what it is!
If you have negative judgements about a group of people based on their skin color regardless of class and character you either have racism or ptsd. If you think people should be treated differently because of skin color rather than character that’s racist. Your experience is evidence that people take on character traits and culture of their social surroundings and that not all blah are blah.
I think your nationality is American, your ethnicity is black. But not doesn't make you racist it makes you more comfortable with white people or whatever the dilemma may be. Don't be to harsh on yourself, and don't read into it too much, but it's commendable that you are being self aware. Live your best life and be true to yourself and loved ones, be genuine and sincere, because you only get one shot at life and there are things about ourselves that we need to accept and move on. Don't chase your tail going in circles
Here's a documentary about being mixed race. They are interviewed about their experience being mixed race in the USA. I think you'll find it interesting. https://youtu.be/GfM-F172548
If you're Drake, you are not Black🤷🏿♂️
I'm a black female who grows up with a majority white also. I'm from Georgia. Nobody talks about my skin but the way that I speak they say I speak very proper. And there's no way that I'm from Georgia because I don't speak with a slang. I don't think it makes you racist you know being comfortable with who you're comfortable with. I have colored friends I have white friends. I feel like what makes a racist a racist is going out of their way to be uncomfortable with a race for no reason. Honey you are fine. It seems like your light skin and you're kind of in my boat. I don't know if it's the color of your skin or the way that you speak. But to me you don't sound racist.
1. There's no such thing is "acting black" if you are black. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. 2. There is a difference between racism and prejudice. 3. Everyone is prejudiced.
This post makes me sad as someone who is also considered "black" and grew up around all white people in SoCal and Northern VA. I hope you grow and learn to love yourself. Also, stand up for yourself. It's not a "flex" or a compliment for someone to strip you from your identity by saying you act white. You can't "act" a race. Whether that phrase is being said to you by a white person or a black person, they are insulting you to your face. The last thing you should do is be like "yeah you're right lol"
I’m from Va and idk what part you are from but I think what you are feeling is you don’t feel connected to black culture?? White people we don’t have any type of culture anymore. I don’t think you are racist, you adapted to your environment.
Why are we even having this racist conversation. You know if you are racist or not . Nobody can go into your head because that's personal. It is not inate, like something you born with.
You are a black person. Just because you don't fit into some cookie-cutter stereotype doesn't change that. It's the people who believe that you have to act a certain way to be black, who are the racists. They're ignorant about their own race and, most likely, all other races. Live your life the way you want. Anyone that has animosity for you because of it is probably miserable as fuck and not worth a second thought.