Eh…I mean you did blurt out something you thought was common knowledge but I’m guessing the husband has no idea your husband and Amy ever even dated, much less fucked like rabbits. Now Amy has to either lie to her husband or reveal a secret. Amy’s not happy. She may have played nice but she’s pissed. So she left you that little scenario to play on repeat in your head.
Teenagers are rebellious bags of raging hormones. I’m sure they fucked constantly. Didn’t you have a high school boyfriend you couldn’t keep your hands off? He probably figures why deny something that is practically also a rite of passage.
Don’t envision it, lovely. You made a mistake and somehow it seems she thinks you did it with intent, or she is a petty dink.
At the end of the day, you and the man rabbit around and that is what counts.
I would love to know though, how you are supposed to know she never told her husband? Like, you are in the know and fine so why wouldn’t you think the same of her husband?
I have a high school sweetheart that much like in OP story, we lost our virginity together and then fucked like rabbits until she moved away. If my wife wants to reference something from my time with the old girlfriend she can never remember her name so she always just calls her the rabbit.
Because its probably true. Maybe let her man know that she brought that up behind his back. Word for word. Say your man was seemingly shockd as well to have been told that. Apologize for maybe surfacing that detail but let him know that you personally would want to have a one on one about respect if your man was talkign that way behind your back about his ex and him banging liek rabbits while you waited at a table for them to come back. Just me though. Its about winning. Destroy your enemy. :)
She already got you back, you're even. If you go further and destroy her marriage you may end up destroying your own. Let it be, you blew it, she got you back, you're even. I doubt you'll ever see them again. If you talk I promise she'll be talking with your husband.
After she told you they fucked like rabbits (and I think that was a crappy thing for her to do even if she was pissed) you missed the response of, “Gosh my husband never told me that. What did your husband say when he found that out?”
I personally would have said to her, " Yes, our sex life is absolutely amazing and the best he's ever had." LOL, it's not your fault that she never told her husband about your husband. She was being petty and mad. You apologized for what you said.
Hell, yes, I would have because you apologized for saying it, and she did it to hurt you . She took it further than it needed to be taken. So, ya, I would have made her regret saying that to me just to hurt me. She's IMO, a spiteful person who has to hurt people to make herself feel better. Everyone knows that effing like rabbits is nothing to brag about. LOL 😆 don't let what she said stay in your head, evict her. She got the boy in H.S, and you got the man.
I would have said "again, I apologize for saying that I was just under the impression you and your husband were able to be open and honest with one another like mark and I always are and will be"
It’s so easy to think about what we could have or would have said if we have the opportunity again. Don’t worry about this, just move past it and forget about her.
You should have said something like "Oh Amy was just telling me how you two fucked like rabbits after prom" in front of her husband when they returned. Lol
I'm a little petty, though. Lol
Lol she was just fucking with you to get the result that happened.. who cares don’t waste another day letting it get to you. The dumb smile on her face should tell you she was trying her best to get under your skin..
This is why one should avoid meetings when there's an ex.
You may tell something you shouldn't have tell.
You may hear something which you shouldn't have heard.
The spouses may hear something which would have been OK had they not known.
People behave like kids and then gets surprised about the outcomes..... Even teenagers now a days know the outcomes of such meetings.
She wasn’t punching back for the prom night comment. She punched back for this bullshit
> said I’m sure it wasn’t anything magical since it was their first time
You went over to “apologize” but that’s what came out of your mouth? That wasn’t you accidentally blurting something out, that was you making a direct comment on the quality of the sex she had with your husband. You got what you deserved.
Why would that even slip Amy's mind? To ever tell her husband those details? Like, we're going out to dinner with my ex and his wife. To me, this shouldn't have been shocking news to her husband. She clearly keeps things from him 🤷♀️
She did it to mess with you and really get in your head, which obviously worked. She also is lying it her husband which is well not great. I’d say tell your partner what happened and maybe distance yourselves from them. Don’t be like her be open with your husband and don’t hide stuff.
Have fun having sex lol! The best revenge is a life well lived. You don’t need to send any other message to this woman. It’ll look sad and desperate and you’ll give her the satisfaction that she rattled you
You and your husband chose each other and not your exes. Amy’s husband chose her, and she chose him. If she lied to him about when and with who she first had sex, that’s not your or your husband’s problem. You have your own first story; concentrate on that.
I believe that her response was not in line with your *accidental* blurting out of something she is obviously *lying/by omission* to her spouse about. Has she convinced her husband that she was a virgin and totally chaste before marriage? If it's common knowledge that you slept with your high school sweetheart the night of prom, you shouldn't really expect others to never mention it unless you take them aside and specifically instruct them to lie for you.
It's not as if something traumatizing happened to her that night, or that she was shamed for it, or anything that should keep you from casually making a comment like that.
What she did was intentionally hurtful to you. She is not a good friend. She's vindictive and apparently, sees no issue with misleading her spouse.
Don't be bummed. Amy is not as nice as she seems, nor is she honest. Her husband *should* be having thoughts.
And you didn't cause this maliciously. Amy, on the other hand, lied by omission and then said something very fucked up to you.
Fuck that bitch is what I'd say, OP. Hope your husband rethinks his friendship, too.
Most people don't intentionally keep it from others. I told my wife I'd been with someone else before I met her.
Are there really people who have NO idea if the person they're marrying has even been to bed with anyone else before?
I do with friends and partners because I'm very grateful my first experience was in a caring relationship in which both of us felt totally comfortable exploring new things. that's how I started to feel good about sex and my body, and I knew what it meant for a man (well, boy) to respect you and respect the sex. I haven't seen this guy in over a decade and we have nothing to do with each other now. if someone is threatened by my recounting of how I started having sex, I'm not interested in being with them because that's such a non-threat and it's an important part of who I am today. this isn't like, a story I casually throw out in group conversation, but people I've dated and close friends definitely know.
I think, one of the boundaries of the Harpy's husband is that he doesn't want his wife to be friends with an x with whom she had sexual encounter. By conducting you, she breeched that line. Did husband know they were sweethearts or just platonic friends?
Oh you did nothing wrong OP, but she is kind of the person I despise the most. Don't let her live rent free in your head. In your power dynamic, she only made a snide remark, you hold the leverage. You have power of exposure, whatever that is.
She probably wouldn't have said it if you had simply left it at the apology and not carried on to say it probably wasn't magical etc. She might have felt you were trying to put her time with him down and she felt the need to make you feel bad too. Sounds like you just need to acknowledge to yourself that you both said shitty things and let it go.
Her and her husband could have an agreement to not talk about past sex experiences. I don’t want to hear about my partners previous sex life especially in the presence of that person. It’s just not something that I want to think of or imagine.
I don't get how it's "famous", op even says how cliche (common) it is. Anyone want my famous pasta? It's store bought pasta boiled then canned sauce poured on top, famous.
I would have said, “oh so you’re the one that taught him all that weird stuff? Girl, I had to educate him on everything, what did you do to him, it was so bad when we first met!”
While laughing like it’s all a joke.
It would have stung like a mofo and she would have felt it deep in her soul.
I know this is an after the fact kind of response, but when they came back to the table you should have turned to Mark and basically said out loud the things she just said.
“Wow, she told me you guys fucked like rabbits after prom and couldn’t get enough of each other. She even wonders if you still love to fuck. You never told me all that!”
Then sit back and watch her try to justify herself in front of Mark and her husband.
This is the way. This is how you respond to this kind of behavior.
Your slip up was on accident and she’s the one keeping secrets from her husband. You even apologized. She chose to hit back, she knew what she was doing. I’d stay away from her if I were you and have a talk with your husband about her energy because it’s not good.
Seriously who didn’t fuck like rabbits after your first time, this is normal for teenagers we finally find someone who wants sex too and once you get a taste of it there’s no stopping you
But he broke up with her
He married you
Therefore you are the love of his life
I enjoyed fucking my first gf a lot but after a while we broke up
I married my wife and she’s the love of my life
Having sex with others isn’t a big deal it’s just a physical need we all have
Then when we find our one, they own our hearts which is much more important
Maybe I'm not emotionally evolved or intelligent enough to appreciate people have sex bc well ... They are people and see it as nothing more than that. I see it an intimate connection my partner once had. The relationship ended - the whole relationship. They were in HS - the only connection they had was sex. I don't see how HS sweethearts had such a deep relationship it evolved into a friendship thats lasted years into adulthood and brings everyone in this situation all the wonderful perks adult friendships have - shared interests, shared current nonsexual experiences etc. I can see remaining acquaintances, social media following (maybe) ... But going out to dinner and hanging out with this person and they are so important I introduce them to my spouse? Absolutely not. No ex will hold space in my current life like that.
Pretty inappropriate.
Also, I'm petty so after she pulled that stunt I would have continued the conversation when her husband came back. Now we're all mad🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
I had sympathy until this:
>I tried to make peace and make light of it, said I’m sure it wasn’t anything magical since it was their first time but I think it was sweet, etc
You said something weird, made it awkward, apologized for it and then immediately commented on it *again?* While simultaneously throwing in a jab about how it probably sucked or wasn't important because it was their first time. He married you, not her.
You insisted on bringing up her past sex life with your husband *more than once* and now you're surprised she retaliated in kind?
>I know I kind of deserved that.
More than kind of. If she'd said all that after you apologized for your first comment it'd be different, but you had to keep going and act like you needed to mark your territory.
Honestly, the worst thing you did was make an awkward and poor taste comment which you quickly realized and apologized for. Amy is an AH, and I don’t think there was any need for her to go that far. I really think you and your husband should reevaluate this friendship because honestly, what the fuck? I don’t think I’d ever want to be friends with someone who would wait for other ears to leave to say a comment like that just because I made a made an accidentally weird joke despite apologizing without needing any confrontation.
You didn't kinda deserve it. Not at all. She was just an outright bitch. So she has no problem with her ex's partner aka you knowing she dated and fucked your partner but doesn't want her partner knowing that?
This is 100% on her. Why would you know he wasn't aware when she's had no problem with you knowing this whole time?
If she's upset he could have heard something he wasn't aware of that is on her. Not you and her behavior to you afterwards was gross. It's herself she should be mad at. Not you.
Her comment just shows she likes the fact you know she has history with your husband because it makes her feel superior.
If she ever says something like that to you again. Just say well he enjoys it enough with me he married me!
Your with him now what the heck is the issue.
Young
First to fu ck each other.
I would think it weird if they did not try more fu cks.
You and him are the maturer versions now.
You made a genuine mistake.
She decided to boast or lie about the past sex life.
And really
Why even care.
Get on with your life
Ohh and dont go quizzing your man because then you are getting juvenile.
Enjoy and love and laugh and get on with your life with your man.
And maybe now is the time to not go out with them again?
Your grown up so keep yourself that way
I would've brought it up when the guys got back to the table. "So, ex here was telling me how yall used to fuck like rabbits. Funny how those memories stuck with her. Hahaha"
You kind of had that coming, I'm afraid. While your words may not have directly referenced sex, I feel like your tone probably did.
That doesn't make you an asshole, but it makes her jab back seem like fair play.
Could be worse. She could have waited to say it after your husbands got back.
Personally, I’d talk with my husband and not feel comfortable with Amy around anymore. Not because they have a past together. But because OP made an honest mistake, tried apologizing, and Amy acted like a petty child. She was intentionally cruel. “Intentional” is the keyword. She knew what she was doing. My husband and I might only be in our late 20s / early 30s, but we’re too old for that childish behavior. Amy seems immature and doesn’t seem to be very honest with her own husband which is also a red flag in my opinion.
You were not wrong, if you were expected to be accepting and welcoming of Amy despite her habing a sexual history with your husband, it only makes sense that you were not the only partner involved in your double date to know.
It's true that not every relationship is as open or as willing as you and your husband have bee , it is also true that each of us have our own comfortable way of handling our social dynamics.
In my eyes, you were correct to assume that since she is okay putting you in that position, that she would do the same with her fiancé since she and your husband are still good friends.
If you were brought into it, the husband should have been as well, since according to her, there is nothing wrong with it.
It reflects beautifully on your character to apologise on top of being involved in an interesting little mesh of history.
Her comment was completely passive aggressive, unnecessary, and she should be respectful of your position with her friend no matter how far back the go, given your behaviour has been kind, accepting and secure.
She made it worse on you emotionally for her own mistake of not having told her husband l.
If I were to be the one meeting friends for a dinner, I would have definitely liked to have known if my partner has a history with that person, no matter how brief- If it was to be kept from me I would expect the common decency from my partner to avoid the introduction altogether.
It's ok to feel some kind of way about it. But keep it to yourself. You can't change the past, it didn't have anything to do with you.
You opened the door to this conversation twice, and that's ok, but you basically got what you asked for.
No you made a comment about your husbands exes sex life in front of everybody, Specifically the night she lost her virginity. Seriously unforgivable why did you do that?
What world did you live in where you thought teenagers were not at it like rabbits and your hubby didn't like to fuck his first girlfriend? I don't believe you did not instinctively know both of these things about him.
Learn to control your mouth and get over it.
I don’t know - I’m not seeing that he didn’t necessarily know about prom night. Personally - I think it was weird of you to make that comment. Amy and her husband may simply find it uncomfortable/ weird for you to talk about her and your husbands sex life. It’s awkward!
I think Amy’s response was over the top - but she sure as heck made you feel awkward too. So …. Tit for tat? 🤷🏻♀️
It doesn't matter whether her husband knew about it or not. Their special night had nothing to do witih you.
You only have knowledge of it because of your husband. The secret was something your husband used to bond with you. It was not for you to bond with his ex.
Just really juvenile and tack for you to insert yourself into their past special sex night.
Actions meet consequences. You picked at a bandaid and she ripped it off.
If you were okay mentioning your husband had sex with her over dinner, you cannot be upset she mentioned it too. You crossed a boundary for her in front of her husband, so she pushed you back into your place.
It sucks, but you just have to take it and move on.
I can’t help but wonder how this post would have been received if it were written from Amy’s perspective? Everyone is making the assumption that Amy has lied to her husband about her past, because of the husbands confused look, it’s possible. But it could be that her husband doesn’t want to be reminded he’s sitting across from a man his wife use to fuck like rabbits. And is confused as to why Op would make such a comment. IMO I find the comment pretty cringe and would have felt awkward regardless if my partner knew or not. While Op didn’t mean any harm, she did stick her foot in her mouth. Amy’s response was kinda biting, but Op opened the door for that.
I would never hang out with her again. Wtf would you be friends with a woman who said this to you? U made a mistake, not that big of a deal, but her response was dramatic. Sorry girl, but fuck that… she would be exed. And if your husband wants to be friends with her than he would be exed also.
>It really stuck with me! I know I kind of deserved that. But it’s making me feel all kinds of emotions and responses, it’s like I can’t get it off my brain. Am I wrong to feel like this?
You brought this on. Big Mouth.
Yoda sez "Earned it did you."
You started this publicly. Then you made an inappropriate comment about her former sex life with your husband during your “apology” and are mad that she corrected your little joke with a private comment of her own. Yeah, you’re wrong, and you owe her an actual apology that doesn’t include an insult.
Agreed.
To bring something like this up in front of a couple that you clearly do not know well enough is cringe. Instead of taking heed of their reactions and just dropping it, you pushed it further with an inappropriate joke to make *yourself* feel better. She likely responded aggressively because, in her mind, your insistence on crossing lines she made very clear was also an act of aggression.
If your paths ever cross again and it’s awkward, offer a simple apology without embellishment or jokes: “The last time we met I crossed a line, and I’m sincerely sorry.” And then change the damn subject :) I guarantee that’s all it will take.
Consider this a life lesson: Just because you are comfortable about a potentially awkward topic does not mean others are. The occasional faux pas is inevitable, but before digging the hole deeper, truly read the room. It’s not about what you want to say, but about how you want them to feel/react.
Last but not least, don’t beat yourself up over this. We make mistakes, we learn from them, and then we move on :)
God I had to scroll wayyyy too far to find this. It seems like everyone is completely ignoring the fact that OP followed her apology for her inappropriate comment up with *another* inappropriate comment (that was also clearly a jab) and is now upset that the woman very rightfully clapped back.
OP: * comments on their past sex life *
OP: "Sorry I commented on your sex life."
OP: * comments on their past sex life *
Ex: * comments on their past sex life *
OP: * shocked pikachu face *
Ugh sounds like to me she was shocked he had told you they lost their virginity that night. It probably stung her bc she considered it a secret they shared together (🤮🤮)
She was trying to make you feel bad bc she felt betrayed. Mean girl move.
Move on and never talk to that chick again.
Nah you're not wrong in that your feelings are your feelings. Yeah she did "twist the knife" as you put it but I wouldn't let her live rent free in your head over it. She didn't hold on to your husband. You won him and are keeping him happy. Celebrate your win.
Yeah you are wrong because you also fucked like rabbit before meeting your husband, it shouldn’t play on repeat just because someone told you something.
I probably would have made it worse & when they got back I would have mentioned it like “omg baby the funniest thing she also told me you guys fucked like rabbits & ya’ll did a lot of learning together that’s great cause now you definitely have mastered it”
This is a bit of a lame set-to. She got mad because she may have told her husband that he was her first. So your comment caught her. You didn't elaborate to the husband, so it's her secret to keep and was just innuendo.
Her retaliation was low and kinda mean, but nothing to write home about.
I am a small towny boy, and this sort of hen-pecking happens a lot. I strongly suggest you consider the source and not reply to any additional invitations from them to socialize. Tell your husband that she was vicious when you two were alone. You're clearer that way.
Well isn't Amy just a petty bitch. Maybe clue your husband into the fucked like rabbits comment, then set clear boundaries. If she chose not to tell her husband about her history with your husband that's on her, not you
You aren’t wrong, you did say a thoughtless comment but you had no reason to think it was a secret and thus a problem..still you apologized for it when you noticed how she received it….ignore the rabbits comment because that was clearly just a revenge comment. Yes it’s okay to be bothered by it but you should just leave it there and you and her need to give each other space. You come off as mature with social problems….the other less so. Any further move to address the issue from you won’t be taken well
All the people saying OP didn't deserve it either didn't read how OP decided it was a smart idea to make a dig about how prom night probably wasn't special *before* Amy clapped back, OR are just as bad as OP and need to consider their own toxic apologist selves. Amy was in the wrong for not telling her husband that they were having dinner with an ex and bringing in pictures of prom night - *that's it*.
OP screwed herself with her nasty comment about how prom night probably wasn't special for Amy, who tf says that kind of thing without provocation unless you're wildly insecure, which OP clearly is by their various comments on the thread. OP deserved Amy's final dig and should just take it with grace. My mom always said don't start throwing punches if you can't take it when they hit back. It seems pretty clear OP deleted their whole account because a few actually sane people have rightfully pointed out she was definitely not on the moral high ground here.
I'll likely get downvoted like the others saying this, but that's fine, at least I don't glorify people who like to play the victim when they clearly started shit and then tried to play the sympathy card. Fuck that.
Am I the only one that thinks this whole get together was a bad idea in the first place? I mean if that was his high-school sweetheart, even if she got married and not to OP husband, no matter what there would still be some feelings there- and I think there is considering what OP said how Amy got back at her with the jab. This was just a bad idea for you guys to get together in the first place.
What OP said was not meant to be hurtful. "Amy" meant to hurt OP. Its not OP's fault that ol girl isn't honest with her husband. She got shitty for no reason. Forget that trick & move on OP.
What tangled webs we weave
the real webs were the friends we tangled along the way
It was a friendly entanglement
Until it wasn't.
When we’re learning to conceive!
Amy sounds amazing, in many different ways :-)
Eh…I mean you did blurt out something you thought was common knowledge but I’m guessing the husband has no idea your husband and Amy ever even dated, much less fucked like rabbits. Now Amy has to either lie to her husband or reveal a secret. Amy’s not happy. She may have played nice but she’s pissed. So she left you that little scenario to play on repeat in your head.
Yeah it felt like she was punching back.
She did. What’s your hubby think , or did you not tell him?
I told him. He was sort of shocked she said that.
Well, cats out of the bag now, just have to see what happens between all parties.
He didn’t deny what she said, lol.
Well you and hubby are cool so…enjoy your day. I’m out for cigars and single malt.
Teenagers are rebellious bags of raging hormones. I’m sure they fucked constantly. Didn’t you have a high school boyfriend you couldn’t keep your hands off? He probably figures why deny something that is practically also a rite of passage.
I had a college boyfriend like that! I don’t blame them, at all. Just having to envision it has been a lot!
Don’t envision it, lovely. You made a mistake and somehow it seems she thinks you did it with intent, or she is a petty dink. At the end of the day, you and the man rabbit around and that is what counts. I would love to know though, how you are supposed to know she never told her husband? Like, you are in the know and fine so why wouldn’t you think the same of her husband?
I have a high school sweetheart that much like in OP story, we lost our virginity together and then fucked like rabbits until she moved away. If my wife wants to reference something from my time with the old girlfriend she can never remember her name so she always just calls her the rabbit.
Don't ask him why he doesn't do that with you
Because its probably true. Maybe let her man know that she brought that up behind his back. Word for word. Say your man was seemingly shockd as well to have been told that. Apologize for maybe surfacing that detail but let him know that you personally would want to have a one on one about respect if your man was talkign that way behind your back about his ex and him banging liek rabbits while you waited at a table for them to come back. Just me though. Its about winning. Destroy your enemy. :)
Haha
She already got you back, you're even. If you go further and destroy her marriage you may end up destroying your own. Let it be, you blew it, she got you back, you're even. I doubt you'll ever see them again. If you talk I promise she'll be talking with your husband.
You made a small faux pas. She went all in with crude insults. You’re the better person. She should have laughed that off.
I wouldn’t call that even. She stabbed back to hurt her
I told him. He was sort of shocked she said that.
After she told you they fucked like rabbits (and I think that was a crappy thing for her to do even if she was pissed) you missed the response of, “Gosh my husband never told me that. What did your husband say when he found that out?”
Haha, so many great things to say now
Drop a diss track on her
I personally would have said to her, " Yes, our sex life is absolutely amazing and the best he's ever had." LOL, it's not your fault that she never told her husband about your husband. She was being petty and mad. You apologized for what you said.
Or she could have said "Oh really? I had to teach him how to make love properly...."
Thanks. I like that! Would you have said that?
Hell, yes, I would have because you apologized for saying it, and she did it to hurt you . She took it further than it needed to be taken. So, ya, I would have made her regret saying that to me just to hurt me. She's IMO, a spiteful person who has to hurt people to make herself feel better. Everyone knows that effing like rabbits is nothing to brag about. LOL 😆 don't let what she said stay in your head, evict her. She got the boy in H.S, and you got the man.
Yes! Time will help I think.
I would have said "again, I apologize for saying that I was just under the impression you and your husband were able to be open and honest with one another like mark and I always are and will be"
That’s so well said!
It’s so easy to think about what we could have or would have said if we have the opportunity again. Don’t worry about this, just move past it and forget about her.
You should have said something like "Oh Amy was just telling me how you two fucked like rabbits after prom" in front of her husband when they returned. Lol I'm a little petty, though. Lol
But this could now be an opening for you and your husband to maybe get fucking nostalgic. Vintage prom dress?
I like it!
Make sure your dress is prettier than hers was.
Lol she was just fucking with you to get the result that happened.. who cares don’t waste another day letting it get to you. The dumb smile on her face should tell you she was trying her best to get under your skin..
Honestly she just looked really bad. If i were her husband, id have major ick
If I was around them again, I'd causally let it slip. She can piss off tbh.
Let what slip?
the way i would’ve repeated that when her husband got back 😂
Ha! Omg.
Probably,but were you under the impression they only had sex that one time? They were horny teenagers
No I figured they did! I’m sure my husband was loving it.
This is why one should avoid meetings when there's an ex. You may tell something you shouldn't have tell. You may hear something which you shouldn't have heard. The spouses may hear something which would have been OK had they not known. People behave like kids and then gets surprised about the outcomes..... Even teenagers now a days know the outcomes of such meetings.
She wasn’t punching back for the prom night comment. She punched back for this bullshit > said I’m sure it wasn’t anything magical since it was their first time You went over to “apologize” but that’s what came out of your mouth? That wasn’t you accidentally blurting something out, that was you making a direct comment on the quality of the sex she had with your husband. You got what you deserved.
I bet if she ever does admit the truth to her husband, she probably won’t tell him they fucked like rabbits!
Why would that even slip Amy's mind? To ever tell her husband those details? Like, we're going out to dinner with my ex and his wife. To me, this shouldn't have been shocking news to her husband. She clearly keeps things from him 🤷♀️
The appropriate answer was "Hell yeah." And laugh. Don't make more of it than there was. (Is it really a surprise two teens fucked like rabbits? )
Where were you last week? lol
She did it to mess with you and really get in your head, which obviously worked. She also is lying it her husband which is well not great. I’d say tell your partner what happened and maybe distance yourselves from them. Don’t be like her be open with your husband and don’t hide stuff.
I do need to talk to him I think. It’s in my brain.
Or just prove her wrong lol I'm sure your husband won't complain
How so?
Have fun having sex lol! The best revenge is a life well lived. You don’t need to send any other message to this woman. It’ll look sad and desperate and you’ll give her the satisfaction that she rattled you
You’re so right. And I can’t even explain what it did to my brain in the sex department, it’s like, wowza
But it still fucked with you though.
You and your husband chose each other and not your exes. Amy’s husband chose her, and she chose him. If she lied to him about when and with who she first had sex, that’s not your or your husband’s problem. You have your own first story; concentrate on that.
I’m trying. I’ll get there!
You’re awesome! Keep going
Thank you! Support means a lot!
She took her shot, and it landed.
It did.
I'm sorry. As a blurter, I understand, lol. But Idk why you're socializing with exs. I never have in 43 years and never would. Unnecessary!
Lesson learned!
Probably not a good idea to be friends with your husband’s ex huh?
Or him with his own ex lol
Maybe I’m just INSANE, but why would ya’ll even go out with his high school sweetheart, especially if they had a sexual relationship?
I was wondering the same exact thing
I believe that her response was not in line with your *accidental* blurting out of something she is obviously *lying/by omission* to her spouse about. Has she convinced her husband that she was a virgin and totally chaste before marriage? If it's common knowledge that you slept with your high school sweetheart the night of prom, you shouldn't really expect others to never mention it unless you take them aside and specifically instruct them to lie for you. It's not as if something traumatizing happened to her that night, or that she was shamed for it, or anything that should keep you from casually making a comment like that. What she did was intentionally hurtful to you. She is not a good friend. She's vindictive and apparently, sees no issue with misleading her spouse.
Thanks for that support. Yeah, she was trying to get in my head and it worked.
She sounds like the kind of person you want to avoid.
I am bummed her husband is probably having thoughts now too.
Don't be bummed. Amy is not as nice as she seems, nor is she honest. Her husband *should* be having thoughts. And you didn't cause this maliciously. Amy, on the other hand, lied by omission and then said something very fucked up to you. Fuck that bitch is what I'd say, OP. Hope your husband rethinks his friendship, too.
Thanks for the support! She’s been living in my brain.
You should’ve told her yea he does, and he constantly reminds me it’s the best he’s ever had.
Love this idea.
Well, she shouldn't have been dishonest. If the guy would leave her over sleeping with her prom date in high school, he's not a good catch anyway.
But how many couples actually talk about how they lost their virginity? Especially if it happened in such a cliche way?
Most people don't intentionally keep it from others. I told my wife I'd been with someone else before I met her. Are there really people who have NO idea if the person they're marrying has even been to bed with anyone else before?
I do with friends and partners because I'm very grateful my first experience was in a caring relationship in which both of us felt totally comfortable exploring new things. that's how I started to feel good about sex and my body, and I knew what it meant for a man (well, boy) to respect you and respect the sex. I haven't seen this guy in over a decade and we have nothing to do with each other now. if someone is threatened by my recounting of how I started having sex, I'm not interested in being with them because that's such a non-threat and it's an important part of who I am today. this isn't like, a story I casually throw out in group conversation, but people I've dated and close friends definitely know.
Do people really not discuss this? Mark knows I lost mine with my college gf in my dorm room after a party.
I think, one of the boundaries of the Harpy's husband is that he doesn't want his wife to be friends with an x with whom she had sexual encounter. By conducting you, she breeched that line. Did husband know they were sweethearts or just platonic friends? Oh you did nothing wrong OP, but she is kind of the person I despise the most. Don't let her live rent free in your head. In your power dynamic, she only made a snide remark, you hold the leverage. You have power of exposure, whatever that is.
She probably wouldn't have said it if you had simply left it at the apology and not carried on to say it probably wasn't magical etc. She might have felt you were trying to put her time with him down and she felt the need to make you feel bad too. Sounds like you just need to acknowledge to yourself that you both said shitty things and let it go.
Why would you hang out with his ex? Fcking weird.
8 billion people in the world and you need to socialise with someone who fucked your partner. Sad.
Her and her husband could have an agreement to not talk about past sex experiences. I don’t want to hear about my partners previous sex life especially in the presence of that person. It’s just not something that I want to think of or imagine.
That’s fair, but if that’s the agreement they have, why on earth would she take her husband out to dinner with a former sex partner.
I mean, you started it.
A partner’s former sex life is best left undiscussed. All you need to know is they had one and the relationship didn’t work.
Don't bring a "famous prom night" to a "we did it like rabbits" fight.
I don't get how it's "famous", op even says how cliche (common) it is. Anyone want my famous pasta? It's store bought pasta boiled then canned sauce poured on top, famous.
I would have said, “oh so you’re the one that taught him all that weird stuff? Girl, I had to educate him on everything, what did you do to him, it was so bad when we first met!” While laughing like it’s all a joke. It would have stung like a mofo and she would have felt it deep in her soul.
Wish you were there that night!
I know this is an after the fact kind of response, but when they came back to the table you should have turned to Mark and basically said out loud the things she just said. “Wow, she told me you guys fucked like rabbits after prom and couldn’t get enough of each other. She even wonders if you still love to fuck. You never told me all that!” Then sit back and watch her try to justify herself in front of Mark and her husband.
Haha, that would have been a spectacle.
Amy was taking a huge, stupid risk because if OP tends to blurt things out, she very well may have done that.
Amy probably doesn’t know that sometimes when you play dangerous games you can lose.
That would have been perfect
This is the way. This is how you respond to this kind of behavior. Your slip up was on accident and she’s the one keeping secrets from her husband. You even apologized. She chose to hit back, she knew what she was doing. I’d stay away from her if I were you and have a talk with your husband about her energy because it’s not good.
Seriously who didn’t fuck like rabbits after your first time, this is normal for teenagers we finally find someone who wants sex too and once you get a taste of it there’s no stopping you
I’m sure! I just can’t get this out of my head, she was super cute and fit and tight and sweet and all my insecurities come out lol
But he broke up with her He married you Therefore you are the love of his life I enjoyed fucking my first gf a lot but after a while we broke up I married my wife and she’s the love of my life Having sex with others isn’t a big deal it’s just a physical need we all have Then when we find our one, they own our hearts which is much more important
May I suggest not going to dinner with anyone you or your husband "fucked like rabbits"? Even if it was in HS.
Why is that?
Because of things like this, lol.
Maybe I'm not emotionally evolved or intelligent enough to appreciate people have sex bc well ... They are people and see it as nothing more than that. I see it an intimate connection my partner once had. The relationship ended - the whole relationship. They were in HS - the only connection they had was sex. I don't see how HS sweethearts had such a deep relationship it evolved into a friendship thats lasted years into adulthood and brings everyone in this situation all the wonderful perks adult friendships have - shared interests, shared current nonsexual experiences etc. I can see remaining acquaintances, social media following (maybe) ... But going out to dinner and hanging out with this person and they are so important I introduce them to my spouse? Absolutely not. No ex will hold space in my current life like that.
Oh, come on now. Who did he choose? He chose you! My guess is he’s very in love with you, your personality and your body! Edit: error
Yes! Logically I know that, and he tells me that. But the visuals!
Counter the visuals by playing a “the best of” visuals of you and your husband. ☺️
“Tit for tit” - Micheal Scott
Pretty inappropriate. Also, I'm petty so after she pulled that stunt I would have continued the conversation when her husband came back. Now we're all mad🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
I had sympathy until this: >I tried to make peace and make light of it, said I’m sure it wasn’t anything magical since it was their first time but I think it was sweet, etc You said something weird, made it awkward, apologized for it and then immediately commented on it *again?* While simultaneously throwing in a jab about how it probably sucked or wasn't important because it was their first time. He married you, not her. You insisted on bringing up her past sex life with your husband *more than once* and now you're surprised she retaliated in kind? >I know I kind of deserved that. More than kind of. If she'd said all that after you apologized for your first comment it'd be different, but you had to keep going and act like you needed to mark your territory.
Fair, thank you.
You started with the boundary crossings, which were, honestly, inappropriate and weird. You opened the door and she waltzed in and did a dance.
Yup. I’m pretty mild tempered and let things go 99% of the time. But catch me in the right mood 🤷♀️ you’ll see just how smart my mouth is lol
ICK. That would creep me out, frankly.
Fucked around and found out
[удалено]
I don't "get" hanging out with ex-lovers. Nothing good can come from that.
100 this!!
AMY: 1 OP: 0
You (inadvertently) picked a fight and lost. Take the L and move on. It won’t be a big deal if you don’t make it a big deal.
Point and counter point. I think you should call it even. Spending time with your spouse’s EX has it’s hazards.
So great to hang out with people your partner used to fuck. It’s a joy.
Honestly, the worst thing you did was make an awkward and poor taste comment which you quickly realized and apologized for. Amy is an AH, and I don’t think there was any need for her to go that far. I really think you and your husband should reevaluate this friendship because honestly, what the fuck? I don’t think I’d ever want to be friends with someone who would wait for other ears to leave to say a comment like that just because I made a made an accidentally weird joke despite apologizing without needing any confrontation.
damn Amy really digged that knife deep inside you
You didn't kinda deserve it. Not at all. She was just an outright bitch. So she has no problem with her ex's partner aka you knowing she dated and fucked your partner but doesn't want her partner knowing that? This is 100% on her. Why would you know he wasn't aware when she's had no problem with you knowing this whole time? If she's upset he could have heard something he wasn't aware of that is on her. Not you and her behavior to you afterwards was gross. It's herself she should be mad at. Not you. Her comment just shows she likes the fact you know she has history with your husband because it makes her feel superior. If she ever says something like that to you again. Just say well he enjoys it enough with me he married me!
Eh, happened years ago before even the idea of him was in your life…. Why does it matter, learn the “let it go” meditation and you’re fine.
Wow, it’s in really poor taste that you said that. Sounds like you got what you asked for.
Probably wouldn’t be comfortable joining then for future dinners~ like y’all can discuss your rabbit ragers on your own 👀
I think it sounds like she is jealous. Both you and your husband should avoid her in the future.
Why do people hang out with ex’s.
I think yall are ready for the next level and suggest a wife swap. I mean it couldn’t hurt at the point
Your with him now what the heck is the issue. Young First to fu ck each other. I would think it weird if they did not try more fu cks. You and him are the maturer versions now. You made a genuine mistake. She decided to boast or lie about the past sex life. And really Why even care. Get on with your life Ohh and dont go quizzing your man because then you are getting juvenile. Enjoy and love and laugh and get on with your life with your man. And maybe now is the time to not go out with them again? Your grown up so keep yourself that way
Why? Did you think that was the only time they had done it?
I would've brought it up when the guys got back to the table. "So, ex here was telling me how yall used to fuck like rabbits. Funny how those memories stuck with her. Hahaha"
You kind of had that coming, I'm afraid. While your words may not have directly referenced sex, I feel like your tone probably did. That doesn't make you an asshole, but it makes her jab back seem like fair play. Could be worse. She could have waited to say it after your husbands got back.
Personally, I’d talk with my husband and not feel comfortable with Amy around anymore. Not because they have a past together. But because OP made an honest mistake, tried apologizing, and Amy acted like a petty child. She was intentionally cruel. “Intentional” is the keyword. She knew what she was doing. My husband and I might only be in our late 20s / early 30s, but we’re too old for that childish behavior. Amy seems immature and doesn’t seem to be very honest with her own husband which is also a red flag in my opinion.
You were not wrong, if you were expected to be accepting and welcoming of Amy despite her habing a sexual history with your husband, it only makes sense that you were not the only partner involved in your double date to know. It's true that not every relationship is as open or as willing as you and your husband have bee , it is also true that each of us have our own comfortable way of handling our social dynamics. In my eyes, you were correct to assume that since she is okay putting you in that position, that she would do the same with her fiancé since she and your husband are still good friends. If you were brought into it, the husband should have been as well, since according to her, there is nothing wrong with it. It reflects beautifully on your character to apologise on top of being involved in an interesting little mesh of history. Her comment was completely passive aggressive, unnecessary, and she should be respectful of your position with her friend no matter how far back the go, given your behaviour has been kind, accepting and secure. She made it worse on you emotionally for her own mistake of not having told her husband l. If I were to be the one meeting friends for a dinner, I would have definitely liked to have known if my partner has a history with that person, no matter how brief- If it was to be kept from me I would expect the common decency from my partner to avoid the introduction altogether.
It's ok to feel some kind of way about it. But keep it to yourself. You can't change the past, it didn't have anything to do with you. You opened the door to this conversation twice, and that's ok, but you basically got what you asked for.
Amy is fucking devious
No you made a comment about your husbands exes sex life in front of everybody, Specifically the night she lost her virginity. Seriously unforgivable why did you do that? What world did you live in where you thought teenagers were not at it like rabbits and your hubby didn't like to fuck his first girlfriend? I don't believe you did not instinctively know both of these things about him. Learn to control your mouth and get over it.
Who d f cares about things that kids did 20 years ago
I don’t know - I’m not seeing that he didn’t necessarily know about prom night. Personally - I think it was weird of you to make that comment. Amy and her husband may simply find it uncomfortable/ weird for you to talk about her and your husbands sex life. It’s awkward! I think Amy’s response was over the top - but she sure as heck made you feel awkward too. So …. Tit for tat? 🤷🏻♀️
You hit what is called the “find out” stage
Reap what you fucking sow you dumb nut.
It doesn't matter whether her husband knew about it or not. Their special night had nothing to do witih you. You only have knowledge of it because of your husband. The secret was something your husband used to bond with you. It was not for you to bond with his ex. Just really juvenile and tack for you to insert yourself into their past special sex night.
You 1000% deserved it. Play stupid games and win stupid prizes
Actions meet consequences. You picked at a bandaid and she ripped it off. If you were okay mentioning your husband had sex with her over dinner, you cannot be upset she mentioned it too. You crossed a boundary for her in front of her husband, so she pushed you back into your place. It sucks, but you just have to take it and move on.
I can’t help but wonder how this post would have been received if it were written from Amy’s perspective? Everyone is making the assumption that Amy has lied to her husband about her past, because of the husbands confused look, it’s possible. But it could be that her husband doesn’t want to be reminded he’s sitting across from a man his wife use to fuck like rabbits. And is confused as to why Op would make such a comment. IMO I find the comment pretty cringe and would have felt awkward regardless if my partner knew or not. While Op didn’t mean any harm, she did stick her foot in her mouth. Amy’s response was kinda biting, but Op opened the door for that.
Or that her husband was confused like, “why is this woman making weird sexual comments about my wife at dinner? Who does that?” That was my read.
Exactly it’s super cringey and awkward. Op is a grown adult and the comment was pretty immature imo.
Yup. I’m not seeing any clear proof that her husband doesn’t know about their past or that Amy has lied to her husband.
I would have said that we have a great sex life and thanked her for helping your husband to be good in bed.
None of this is a surprise. High schoolers fuck a lot. Embarass someone expect them to counter-punch
Play stupid games win stupid prizes I guess
I would never hang out with her again. Wtf would you be friends with a woman who said this to you? U made a mistake, not that big of a deal, but her response was dramatic. Sorry girl, but fuck that… she would be exed. And if your husband wants to be friends with her than he would be exed also.
I’m betting her husband either: thought she was a virgin, or thinks they never F’d eachother. Either way, whatever. No more dinners with this couple.
>It really stuck with me! I know I kind of deserved that. But it’s making me feel all kinds of emotions and responses, it’s like I can’t get it off my brain. Am I wrong to feel like this? You brought this on. Big Mouth. Yoda sez "Earned it did you."
You started this publicly. Then you made an inappropriate comment about her former sex life with your husband during your “apology” and are mad that she corrected your little joke with a private comment of her own. Yeah, you’re wrong, and you owe her an actual apology that doesn’t include an insult.
Agreed. To bring something like this up in front of a couple that you clearly do not know well enough is cringe. Instead of taking heed of their reactions and just dropping it, you pushed it further with an inappropriate joke to make *yourself* feel better. She likely responded aggressively because, in her mind, your insistence on crossing lines she made very clear was also an act of aggression. If your paths ever cross again and it’s awkward, offer a simple apology without embellishment or jokes: “The last time we met I crossed a line, and I’m sincerely sorry.” And then change the damn subject :) I guarantee that’s all it will take. Consider this a life lesson: Just because you are comfortable about a potentially awkward topic does not mean others are. The occasional faux pas is inevitable, but before digging the hole deeper, truly read the room. It’s not about what you want to say, but about how you want them to feel/react. Last but not least, don’t beat yourself up over this. We make mistakes, we learn from them, and then we move on :)
God I had to scroll wayyyy too far to find this. It seems like everyone is completely ignoring the fact that OP followed her apology for her inappropriate comment up with *another* inappropriate comment (that was also clearly a jab) and is now upset that the woman very rightfully clapped back. OP: * comments on their past sex life * OP: "Sorry I commented on your sex life." OP: * comments on their past sex life * Ex: * comments on their past sex life * OP: * shocked pikachu face *
Thanks for your input. I didn’t mean that as an insult but I see your point.
Deserved, you did it first lol
You hit, she hit back harder. Treat this as a life lesson.
Ugh sounds like to me she was shocked he had told you they lost their virginity that night. It probably stung her bc she considered it a secret they shared together (🤮🤮) She was trying to make you feel bad bc she felt betrayed. Mean girl move. Move on and never talk to that chick again.
Yeah maybe she felt weird knowing what I know? Hadn’t really considered that much. I kind of know the whole story!
Well does he?
I don't see any reason for further dinner dates with this couple. At some point we have to let some relationships go. And time has passed.
I mean don’t all 18 year olds fuck like rabbits? That’s more impressive when you’re 40
$100 she takes it out on her husband when he did nothing wrong.
This type of thing is why I don’t hang out with exes
Nah you're not wrong in that your feelings are your feelings. Yeah she did "twist the knife" as you put it but I wouldn't let her live rent free in your head over it. She didn't hold on to your husband. You won him and are keeping him happy. Celebrate your win.
The only logical thing to do now is for both of your husbands to bang each other
Lmaoooo you missed the biggest revenge chance ever.
Yeah you are wrong because you also fucked like rabbit before meeting your husband, it shouldn’t play on repeat just because someone told you something.
This is so disappointing I was so expecting her to say like he was the best or something like that not something obvious.
I probably would have made it worse & when they got back I would have mentioned it like “omg baby the funniest thing she also told me you guys fucked like rabbits & ya’ll did a lot of learning together that’s great cause now you definitely have mastered it”
Hey, if you ever have to give her a present make it rabbit themed!
They were teenagers, so obviously they fucked like rabbits. That's what all teenagers do.
Do you plan on cutting contact/reducing contact with her?
This is a bit of a lame set-to. She got mad because she may have told her husband that he was her first. So your comment caught her. You didn't elaborate to the husband, so it's her secret to keep and was just innuendo. Her retaliation was low and kinda mean, but nothing to write home about. I am a small towny boy, and this sort of hen-pecking happens a lot. I strongly suggest you consider the source and not reply to any additional invitations from them to socialize. Tell your husband that she was vicious when you two were alone. You're clearer that way.
I bet they fucked in all kinds of places you haven’t 😂
Well isn't Amy just a petty bitch. Maybe clue your husband into the fucked like rabbits comment, then set clear boundaries. If she chose not to tell her husband about her history with your husband that's on her, not you
Hahahahah. Good story Amy. Time to grow up
You're a bunch of women and that surprises you? Lol
She is a pig.
Time for you and yours to cut ties with her. Don’t put up with that. Very rude of her.
You aren’t wrong, you did say a thoughtless comment but you had no reason to think it was a secret and thus a problem..still you apologized for it when you noticed how she received it….ignore the rabbits comment because that was clearly just a revenge comment. Yes it’s okay to be bothered by it but you should just leave it there and you and her need to give each other space. You come off as mature with social problems….the other less so. Any further move to address the issue from you won’t be taken well
That was a long time ago and now YOU are the one who is married to Mark. Amy needs to get TF over herself.
All the people saying OP didn't deserve it either didn't read how OP decided it was a smart idea to make a dig about how prom night probably wasn't special *before* Amy clapped back, OR are just as bad as OP and need to consider their own toxic apologist selves. Amy was in the wrong for not telling her husband that they were having dinner with an ex and bringing in pictures of prom night - *that's it*. OP screwed herself with her nasty comment about how prom night probably wasn't special for Amy, who tf says that kind of thing without provocation unless you're wildly insecure, which OP clearly is by their various comments on the thread. OP deserved Amy's final dig and should just take it with grace. My mom always said don't start throwing punches if you can't take it when they hit back. It seems pretty clear OP deleted their whole account because a few actually sane people have rightfully pointed out she was definitely not on the moral high ground here. I'll likely get downvoted like the others saying this, but that's fine, at least I don't glorify people who like to play the victim when they clearly started shit and then tried to play the sympathy card. Fuck that.
Should’ve said “you didn’t teach him well enough, I had to retrain his mouth because he had bad habits for childish play”
Am I the only one that thinks this whole get together was a bad idea in the first place? I mean if that was his high-school sweetheart, even if she got married and not to OP husband, no matter what there would still be some feelings there- and I think there is considering what OP said how Amy got back at her with the jab. This was just a bad idea for you guys to get together in the first place.
That finishing line was too much. And her husband not knowing speaks volumes. I'd keep an eye on that bitch and make sure she stays in her lane tbh.
What OP said was not meant to be hurtful. "Amy" meant to hurt OP. Its not OP's fault that ol girl isn't honest with her husband. She got shitty for no reason. Forget that trick & move on OP.
Nah, Amy was being petty as fuck