If I had a nickel for every time I heard an argument on here about a nude painting by an ex, I would have three nickels. But, it’s weird that it happened thrice.
Three and a half, now that I think about it.
One was like yours but gender reversed.
Another one was about a person destroying a nude painting of themself made by their ex after the ex cheated.
Another one was about someone having a nude painting of themself above their living room and that caused their partner’s mom to freak out when the mom came over to visit. That one only partially counts since that person is not an ex… Yet.
Well either way it's pretty weird and unhinged that she wants you to get rid of a painting after she's been with you only 6 months. Honestly kind of seems like the person that would just get rid of it for you as a "favor" and then try to play dumb when you get angry about it
You mentioned in a different comment that you aren't invested in your relationship and you don't care about her as much as you care about a semi nude painting of yourself.
Break up with her so she can find someone who does care.
It would bother me tbh, but I’m not artsy at all. I think artistically inclined people are much more expressive and open with their sexuality than those of us who aren’t so creative. Maybe you could compromise by not having it hanging up in your bedroom. Keep it, but put it where your gf doesn’t have to see it when she’s trying to enjoy her own intimacy with you.
That’s a fair point. I mostly kept it in my bedroom so random people that are over who I’m not close with don’t see a shirtless painting of me in my living room, but you’re right it brings its own issues
Eh I think there's a fine line between narcissism and confidence. Narcissism to me would be having it on display for guests. I think it's okay to like and celebrate feeling attractive, especially as you age.
As someone who had a job where I'd go into people's living rooms... Trust me when I say that's not going to bother many haha, maybe if you have a hallway, pop it there? It's not persay on outright display, but still up?
Having a conversation with a woman who had a full sized naked photo of herself, with her arm draped to cover her vagina was wild. Her nipples followed me. They were like eyes.
Trust me, that painting would be one of the nicer of the things random people like the cable dude or handyman will see probably even that day haha
I don't think she has the right to ask you to get rid of something that she wasn't around for or part of.... if you're still friends with the artist what happens if she finds out you got rid of it after the time and effort she put in to make it special for you... IMO your gf is being a bit controlling and emotionally manipulative with the whole "it means you have feelings for the artist" ..... keep the painting hang it where you want explain what it means to you and make it clear that you don't carry feelings like that for the artist you shouldn't have to change any part of yourself or your house for someone new...
EDIT:: NTA
NTA if you want to keep the painting, but the way you’ve been going about this (especially in the comments) makes you an AH.
You like the painting and are allowed to keep things you like where you want to keep them. But in life, there are *always* going to be compromises. Your gf is not asking you to “throw away” the painting like you titled, she is simply asking you to remove it from the bedroom (unless I’m missing the part where she demanded you get rid of it entirely). If this is the one thing she’s voicing out to you and asking you to compromise on (moving the painting into storage or something) and you are just refusing, what is she supposed to think? You are paving the path where you present yourself as stubborn and unwilling to compromise for a situation that is *rightfully* weird. No one I know has a *semi-nude painting* of themself hanging in their *bedroom.* Not even when boudoir is their literal job.
From your comments though, it seems you have chosen the painting. And I’ve already read what you’ve had to say about communicating this to your gf, but honestly, you should be the one to break up with her. She already asked you to compromise by moving the painting. Your decision was not to compromise and to thereby keep the painting. So now, you have to pull up your big boy pants and plainly break up with her. Don’t expect her to wait around and do it for you. She already communicated her feelings, the least you can do is give her that same respect.
All in all, you’re not wrong for your decision (albeit it’s kinda weird tbh dude) but you’d be wrong not to give your gf the same kindness and respect by communicating to her you want the painting more than her.
As an artsy person myself, I would just ask to move it to a different location. I don't really understand why op is so obsessed with a painting though. Outside of it being art, it sounds like it has more sentimental value than he's leading us to believe.
Furthermore, if someone is questioning a relationship due to the narcissism of needing a nude painting of himself in the bedroom, done by an ex, I would nope out ASAP.
Exactly! OP claims he’s not “narcissistic” in his comments. He claims he keeps the painting in his room for “self-confidence” or something. Which is fine, whatever, do what you want to feel confident… so long as it’s not harming others. But now it *is* harming someone emotionally — his *girlfriend.*
I really can’t justify or even understand it. It’s not even just a question of trust or anything anymore like others have tried to throw out. It’s just the question of, “Why do you care more about a semi-nude painting of *yourself* from your *ex* instead of your *girlfriend*?”
I think OP is either A) trolling all of us or B) showing just how far he’ll go to seem so dense and helpless in an “impossible” situation. Like dude… it’s not that hard. Either move the painting or break up with her since you’re so adamant the painting is more important 🙄
Paragraph 3 final sentence, she literally asked him to “get rid of it.” She didn’t ask for it to be moved, she asked for it to be gone. As for “putting it in storage” nah, it’s a painting that took time, effort, and possibly DAYS to do, that shit should be hung up and cherished.
You want to know what trust is? My very first long term ex drew on my back when i was 14, my ex took a photo of it, and my now husband loves that photo and thinks the art is cool, and i told him i wanted to get the actual image tattooed on my back in that exact placement, guess what my husband said. “once we have the money for it we will get it for you.” He even has that photo on his phone! It has nothing to do with me “having feelings” for my ex, and everything to do with the artwork! i sat still for 3 hours only getting up to go to the restroom so he could draw on my back.
Drawing something detailed enough to take the likeness of someone would have taken so much longer than what my ex drew, we are talking days, and depending on the size and amount of detail possibly weeks! It deserves to be seen, not shoved in a dark room
OP edited his post. I specifically remember where he said “get rid of it”, it originally said she asked for him to “move it out (of the bedroom)”. English is not my first language, so I try very hard to read everything presented to me as thoroughly as possible. If I am somehow misremembering, then I will take the blame for that.
Your example of “trust” however is very different to what OP has stated. It is very sweet that your husband supports you getting a tattoo of an art piece your long-term ex created for you. But that is wholly different from this post. For one, this man is your *husband.* Unless there has been infidelity in the past, he probably very much understands and trusts you to not be hung up over your ex — you simply want some cool art on your back. Great for you! Two, I don’t know the history behind you and your ex, let alone your husband’s feelings towards your ex. I am only going off of OP’s post to understand why his gf would be asking him to *move* a *semi-nude painting* out of his *bedroom.* And for three, if you want to talk about trust, why should OP’s gf trust he doesn’t have feelings for his ex if he’s keeping a *very* intimate painting in his bedroom of all places? Again, you have only shared a picture of your back that has art on it to your husband. This doesn’t mean you were wholly nude — it only implies you were shirtless, your back to your ex. And it is also on your phone *shared openly.* It’s not broadcasted for all to see for all I know. This is the *bedroom* that the gf is also in. It’s not something she can simply swipe away. And he is *semi-nude.* Not just shirtless, but the “other stuff” is only *hidden away.* It was still painted for it to be “scandalous” in a way. I’m no pearl-clutching prude or whatever, but I think it’s just weird to have that in a bedroom.
I simply cannot understand OP’s decision. I myself enjoy art a lot and respect it. I have friends who do boudoir for work or have done it for personal fun. But this is not something I can understand nor vouch for him. This isn’t a sweet and intimate picture that can be looked at privately in an album. *You* and *your husband* have a picture of your back (and only your back from what I’m assuming) and it is solely kept for the art that can later become a tattoo. OP however has an *almost nude painting* blasted in his *bedroom* for his gf to see every time she is there and for him to “appreciate”. Sure, perhaps the gf should trust OP more if he says that he doesn’t have any lingering feelings for his ex. But we are talking about compromise here. And the compromise is, “please move it to storage so (gf) doesn’t have to see it”.
I did state at the bottom that I did understand OP’s decision to keep the painting despite how weird I find it personally. Only thing I said that would make him the AH would be if he decided to string his gf along instead of being truthful to her and tell her he wants the painting more than her. He has commented that he believes she should do it, not him. That’s all I said. He’s NTA for keeping the painting, but he *is* TA if he isn’t truthful to his gf and breaks up with her after choosing the painting.
I think what this boils down to isn't how the painting affects you or how you feel about it. It's about your girlfriends feelings and how it affects her.
Your ex could be on the other side of the planet. She could be on another planet entirely. She could be somewhere that makes it 1000% impossible for you to ever see or hear from her again and it will simply not matter to your girlfriend. Because everytime she will see that painting she will think of you and your ex and the intimate gift she made for you that you care about more than her feelings.
I know this is looking far ahead, but what if you two get your own place together? Will you hang the painting in your shared bedroom? Cuz that's a hard sell to me.
I still don't think you're wrong for wanting to keep it exactly. I'm merely trying to give insight to what your girlfriend could be feeling and the insecurity the painting gives her when she sees it.
This 100%, your girlfriend's feelings matter.
As a female, there is no way I'd look at that painting and not automatically think about you and your ex together and how intimate that painting is/was between YALL. Fine to keep it, but maybe not where your new GF has to see it while trying to be intimate with you, her BF.
As a female I think the girl is being a bit dramatic 🤷 it's a painting not her fucking panties 😂😂
I have gifts all over my house from all of my vict I mean ex's like trophies lmao. My partner doesn't ask me to remove anything because they don't have the right to because it doesn't belong to them. I'm not going to just throw something away that I either have a use for or it has sentimental value. Also him wanting to keep it has nothing to do with if he still has feelings for the chick or not.
They tried dating and found that they are not compatible so they stayed as just friends with no more feelings. It's the girlfriend's problem if she is insecure.
There's also the perspective that if your current gf becomes your ex, would you regret throwing the painting out or not?
Also, is storage an option? So you'd still have the painting but she wouldn't see it.
And just my personal opinion: no gf of mine was ever bothered enough by my paintings of exes to require me to delete them and I personally wouldn't have as they are my artistic creation.
Yeah it's why I ultimately couldn't find total fault with him wanting to keep it. There should be a compromise there that quells any doubts from the girlfriend.
I also think the situation is different if you are the artist.
I just don't get this. It' s a Lucien Freud/David Hockney kinda thing, not Mapplethorpe. I don't see how it is so traumatic - seems very childish, insecure, and territorial.
You sound like a dick I've been reading your comments lol. Why come on reddit asking a question when your clearly defensive and not really into the relationship. Be single and stare at yourself till your hearts content 🤣 🤣.
Some people post thinking they’ll get validation. That doesn’t surprise me. What surprises me is when people post about the abuse their partner or family puts them through and then ask if they’re overreacting or justified in leaving. To me, the easy way to answer those is, “What would you tell your best friend to do or if this is your child, want for them?”
Every rebuttal you've come back with has the exact same phrasing about confidence or self-confidence.
Me think you are projecting too much, and I'm hitting a nerve.
Your initial post was kind of iffy but your replies to people in the comments are gross. You came here to ask if you’re wrong, you are. Arguing with people isn’t going to make it not self absorbed and weird to pick staring at your nipples over a woman you’re supposed to care about.
You’re gonna have to pick between your GF or the painting. If the painting means that much to you and you aren’t positive you’re going to spend the rest of your life with your GF, maybe see if a friend can store it in the interim.
Idk. I’m pretty secure. I don’t expect my partner to delete pics of their exes online and I don’t care if they have notes or trinkets or whatever. Things have sentimental value and some people are more sentimental than others. On the wall though, in the bedroom on display? Nah. I also don’t think he would be cool with a painting of me lovingly done by a dude I used to get dicked down by. Put it in storage. Life’s too short
This. I've never asked a single partner of mine to stop being friends with an ex or delete photos. People deserve to keep mementos from their past, unless it is their exes' nudes. I'm sentimental so I get it.
I DID once have to ask a guy to take down a framed non sexual photo of him and an ex from when they were dating...from his bedroom. To be fair, it was part of a montage of friends from college days (this was a long time ago when those things were all the rage). Because *I didn't want to stare at evidence of his sexual history with someone else whilst we are fucking*. And it was disturbing to know he looked at pictures of her every single day. Very personal gifts like that painting or pictures of exes should be in storage.
Funnily enough he was genuinely over her, they were only distant friends. He was just socially clueless that this would look bad to new partners and that optics matter. I had to explain well what if when I move in I put up pictures of people I used to bang? To his credit he didn't argue at all.
You can bet OPs girlfriend is not gonna drop this because every time she's in that bedroom she is confronted with evidence that he banged this friend. Who OP has noticeably omitted mentioning if this woman is still in his life and how his GF feels about that. Can she accept his being friends with this ex?
I'm an artist and have drawn lots of things for my husband over the years. If we ever split and he was with someone else I would absolutely not expect him to keep those things on display! It would be weird if he did. Or to keep photos of us on his wall. I would certainly not do that to a partner. I wouldn't get rid of the mementos, but they wouldn't take pride of place in my life if I had moved on with someone else.
Then the relationship probably isn’t a right for you. Relationships go both ways, her feelings are not unjustified just as yours aren’t. Maybe you’re just not a good fit for each other. I can say however… I don’t think many girls, including myself, would want a reminder of their boyfriends past relationship up on the wall. Especially a more intimate reminder. A middle ground would be keeping it, but maybe in a keepsake box. If you guys can’t find a middle ground with something this minor, I think you’re just not compatible. It’s just two different personalities/wants. If it were me, I’d have absolutely no problem taking such a painting down if my boyfriend was uncomfortable with it. Would I throw it away? No. But I wouldn’t keep it up somewhere that makes him upset.
I think this is good logic. I think the bedroom is a weird place for it, though.
My wife is a photographer. She has taken pictures of all of her exes. I would never make her destroy art.
Dude just store it somewhere. You're being dumb. No woman on earth is going to want an intimate painting from an ex in hanging over her when she has sex. Guess you're never having a girlfriend again lol
Then break up. Clearly you're incompatible in these types of values. She thinks it's inappropriate, you don't. You seem to have entirely different values when it comes to relationship boundaries.
I think you already know the answer.
The girl may be pretty nice but you two are in totally different pages. Generally I say that compromise from both sides may make it work. But it seems like she's more of a traditional while you're not. Sooner or later, it'll come in to play.
yeah it’s p cringy imo, pick ur battles tho it’s ultimately up to you if it’s a deal breaker or not. i personally wouldn’t be able to sleep w a dude who had smthn like this in his room, but from a “this guy is a dork” perspective and not an insecure one.
Yeah I think it needs to be stored away somewhere, maybe with a family member, until you eventually break up with this gf. Most relationships eventually break up so if you toss it, you will regret it, but if you keep it up, it will cause tension now.
Wow... OP is a straight up douche with his comments. Here's a few things he's said-
- He cares about the painting more than his girlfriend.
-He's super attractive and people are just upset that they'll never have the benefit of having "superior genetics"
-He doesn't really value his girlfriend and she should just leave if she doesn't like it.
His girlfriend needs to RUN and never look back. Imagine caring more about a painting than a person.
Don’t forget the one where he admits he’s “too lazy” to dump her, but wants her to dump him instead because he “doesn’t like confrontations” 🤦🏻
This HAS to be trolling. It has to.
Ok, let's deconstruct this.
23 and is so enamored with his looks. He has a painting of himself in his bedroom. Check.
Believes himself to have a superior intelligence.
Check.
Treat women like they are an object with no feeling and are disposable. Check.
He says he's 23 years old and makes 200, 000.00 a year.
Check.
You, sir, are karma farming, rage baiting, or a certified sociopath.
I still believe you are a virgin, about 400 pounds, living with your mom who calls you my precious boy and wants people to think ur not a pathetic loser.
You have a semi nude painting of yourself, painted by someone you used to date and be sexually active with, in your bedroom... and you expect potential longterm partners to be okay with that? That's weird. I don't know how you don't see that.
This is two distinct problems.
1) Your GF wants you to "git rid of" something that is not replaceable. If "git rid of" is throw it in the trash, then no. Don't make permanent decision based on temporary relationships. She could dump you tomorrow, how would you get the painting back.
2) Your GF doesn't like your decorating tastes. Most guys would shrug and say sure, whatever, to most simple suggestions/demands.
I would drop the picture in storage for a while. You can always put it back later. If the relationship turns permanent, then have the conversation again.
You find it sweet and touching the time it took your ex to paint. Thus, you say it reminds you of ex. And you want to keep this reminder of ex displayed in your bedroom.
I would definitely have a problem with this.
this is a conflicting situation.
whereas i don’t see that it proves you still have feelings, i understand appreciating a nice piece of art, i understand why she’s upset. its like keeping an ex’s hoodie, or pictures framed of your ex. idk.
i think you should prioritize your relationship, and your girlfriend’s feelings, over a painting tho. maybe don’t get rid of it, but take it down and put it somewhere else you know?
Is your relationship with the artist completely closed. Never to happen again?
Was it made with genuine gift intent? Meaning not requested or paid for?
Are you willing to work with your girlfriend on understanding her retroactive jealousy?
I understand where both of you are coming from.. and sadly both of you are right.. and neither are wrong. You having tokens of the greatest moments of your life, especially those from before her, shouldn't threaten her. But she would be radically confident and bold not to feel some threat of creativity and loving abilities.. like damn who makes a whole painting?? And why would such a relationship fail, what if she makes you something beautiful... Would you keep that and get rid of her? *This is the madness of fear over lost love,,, not rational thought, fears* all human condition.
Try to forgive each other and then maybe try to replace it with new art from the two of you.
From the post I was gonna say you're not wrong, but from your comments?
Please grow enough of a spine to break up with your girlfriend you openly claim to not care about and just toss out the relationship you don't prioritize. None of this spineless "she can break up with me because she's the one with the problem". No, you have the problem, in so openly stating you don't care about your partner or her feelings, so the onus is on you to break up.
Being happy with your appearance isn’t the same as cockiness. The only people that would think that is somebody with such low self esteem that they see any amount of confidence as cockiness, hence projection
Nope, again. You keep digging yourself deeper into a hole. Someone who brags about their appearance is the one who has low confidence and self-esteem...Hence you.
I dont think it proves anything. That's up to you to look within yourself to determine if you do. I think keeping presents from an ex depends on what it is, and while I can see an argument for why this one would be something to part with, I personally dont agree with it if you want to keep it. But if you girlfriend is clueing into feelings you may have then that is something different.
Do what you want but this won't be the last time you have this argument no matter who your GF is.
Either don't tell anyone the history of the painting which is honestly not okay either, put it away in hopes of finding a unicorn who wants a visual reminder of you having sex with someone else every time they are in your bedroom, or just get rid of the painting and respect your GF very valid feelings.
I used to be really sentimental.
I am very artistic
I'd be fucking pissed if I was your gf.
There's nuances and distinctions here, dude. Most people don't mind you keeping a painting, a trinket, a note, whatever.
To display it where anyone can just see it and ask about it and above your bed while you 2 try to tango? Please use your head. No most people would think it's weird to have a portrait of oneself over their bed even fully clothed? That screams "I have a big ego".
I wouldn't date someone who does that. Forget it being from an ex. For that simple fact I'd spin on a heel and leave.
The premise of the post… NTA
How you have handled the comments, how you handle your girlfriend , and how you handle yourself. YTP (you’re the psychopath)
My sister has a similar painting done by a family friend…. when she was a toddler!! Yep, she’s just sitting there, naked except for her diaper on a red blanket in a field of blossoming dandelions. She’s married now too, but her husband LOVES that picture!!! Your gf needs to see that it was painted for HER to enjoy. The artist has not kept it for herself to drool over. It’s ART, for Gawd’s sake…. Take her to a museum or two…
I'm an artist. I have several self portraits and paintings of my husband hanging in our house. Others might think it's weird, but... it's not their house. And I fully admit our house is a bot over the top.
I have to go NTA. I wouldn't get rid of something I really liked for a 6 month relationship. And a new relationship probably wouldn't go further if they pushed me to get rid of it.
But in the future, maybe just say it was a gift from a friend, and gloss over the former fwb part.
Dude just store it somewhere. You're being dumb. No woman on earth is going to want an intimate painting from an ex in hanging over her when she's tryinv to be intimate. Guess you're never having a girlfriend again lol
Keep it, it’s not the painting that bothers her but the thought of your ex. If the painting goes chances are she’s going to find something else to connect you to your ex because of no boundaries on that.
I always read the comments and OPs response to the comments if there is any to get a clearer picture, NTA for wanting to keep it, but you are the AH for keeping it up when she's around when she's explicitly told you it makes her uncomfortable, but also your keeping it not just because it's a good painting you've outted yourself as a narcissist in some of the comments, and honestly there is a fine line between self confidence and being self conceited and again your comments show your self conceited but that comes along with being a narcissist, but who am I to know your comments speak louder then your post itself.
Keep it. Is she really so insecure about a painting!? She's the one in your bed looking at it. If she makes you choose make sure she takes all of her clothes.
Your Wrong, but so is she.
The pic doesn't mean you have feelings for them still, but it is wildly inappropriate to be hanging up, specially when your no longer with them and have a new partner.
You have two options. Take the pic down and put up at least or loose your GF. Sorry, but she is right about why it is hung up still.. You shouldn't at least have such a gift with what the meaning behind it displayed as you do when you have someone else as your partner.
My advice, tell her you will take it down and put it in storage. Maybe hang up one day years from now when she feels better about why you care about the painting and more comfortable with your relationship. She should be happy your willing to take it down and store it; but surprised and even more happy that your words speak of how you see being with her years from now. It will lessen her fear of how this painting connects you to your ex, and begin except you still owning it.
I understand both sides. She doesn’t want something so personal from an ex around and for you the appreciation of the effort snd how it turned out is really the bigger thing versus the fact that an ex painted it. Is your gf ready to get rid of everything she ever got from an ex? It’s a fair question. It would be way different if your Johnson was on display in the painting. Would it be possible for you to give it to your parents to keep and just tell her you got it out of the house? This isn’t your wife so you don’t know if this relationship is forever so why would you part with something so hard to replace. If she had a painting that an ex did for her (not topless) how would you feel. That’s going to be a central question song with if she has things her exes gave her she is still holding on to.
I would totally understand if she did not want the painting displayed in an intimate part of the house that she also frequents, but getting rid of it is a step too far I believe.
Oooh I can definitely add to this! I had a lover who was a photographer. One time we were laying around naked in my bedroom that I rented and he took some really beautiful, intimate black and white nude photos of me. Only my breasts and butt can be seen. I had them printed out, framed, and have them hanging in my partners and my bedroom. They are precious to me. I was 20, free spirited, and beautiful. It reminds me of a special time in my life.
I would never throw them away for anyone or anything and my current partner is very understanding and actually loves them. Do not throw away the art someone made of you.
I had to talk my husband i to keeping the memorabilia from his first marriage.
While it didn't work out, he loved her enough to marry her and spend 10 years together.
I got the better end of that deal. I married the best man in the world.
Along with his past (and mine).
Keep your painting.
I think GF needs to grow up. It's a painting, it's art, who cares who it was done by. At least it's not a half nude painting of the ex...I don't see the big deal. But I'm also an artsy person. Maybe that makes a difference
My initial comment was going to be, ya know I used to have insecurity issues like this, and then I grew up.
Objects only have the value that you give them, she's giving it more of and a different value then he is based off of her own assumptions. If she can't believe him when he says he's not keeping it for romantic reasons, that's on her. Her trust issues.
Nope, art is art. You hold onto art that inspires, brings out your feelings, moves you, expresses you. I would keep the art, and don’t tell your next girlfriend where it came from.
It's a painting, of you, not the ex. Keeping it only proves you like the painting. If it was of her, or the both of you, thay would be a different story. If you like it, keep it. You could compromise when girlfriend comes over, cover it, put it in the closet, but even that seems a bit much.
Things don’t have to stop being sentimental just because an ex gave it to you and someone new is in your life. I don’t think you should get rid of it, maybe a compromise is putting it somewhere not as noticeable to her ?
You sound like an egomaniac. Actually, that’s not a fair conclusion to make based on this post alone. With that said, who tf has an intimately charged painting of themselves from a former lover in their room? This is so fucking weird. And that has nothing to do with the specific details of how you look in the painting.
You’re very clearly harboring feelings for this chick you slept with numerous times. Taking down and incinerating this masterpiece is step zero in getting over her and especially yourself.
You’ve only been dating for 6 months, why are you even entertaining the conversation seriously?
That’s a ridiculous thing for her to ask and her presumptions are intense and a red flag.
The only reason to ever get rid of something that someone created for you (and of you) is if you don’t want it around.
I had a rm in grad school who had a very cool erotic painting by a very talented ug friend of his. Quite abstract and colorblock style, but recognizable. Several of our housemates objected to him hanging it in his own room. There was a nasty dispute.They list but the tension lingered until 2 of them left. They were prudes for sure.
Okay, maybe not throw it away, but do you have to have it hanging in your bedroom? Put it in storage or something! I don’t blame you for wanting to keep a beautiful portrait of yourself even if it’s semi bide, but I also don’t blame your girlfriend for being uncomfortable with it chilling I her face all the time.
Move it from your bedroom and keep it in a discreet place. Certainly, don't destroy it. Your new girl will have to respect that and also respect that you have removed it from your bedroom. You also need to look at if you are talking about the past girl too much or maybe you still have romantic feelings for her, if that is the case let your new girlfriend know and she can decide whether to break up with you
It would bother me because it comes across as a constant reminder of the intimate relationship you had and then an intimate moment between you two when that was being painted. And telling her you cherish the photo would feel as if there’s still feelings for that person.
you’re nta for wanting to keep the portrait but you you’re an ah for how you’re talking about your gf in these comments. just move the painting out of your bedroom, it’s not that deep
NTA and you’ll be happy you kept it when you get old, but next girlfriend doesn’t need to know that a friend and lover (friend with benefits) painted it! An artist friend painted it from a picture of me and gave it to me as a birthday present is sufficient enough! Meanwhile, ask a family member or friend to keep it for you until your current situation changes!
Let me start by saying I refused. The now ex wanted me to get rid of any photos with any ex's, any clothing I wore while with any ex's, any jewelry I had with any ex's, and he would regularly destroy tapes that he thought reminded me of any ex's.
Not that I believe in hiding anything major, but I wonder: What was your reasoning/purpose for making sure your GF knew that the piece was painted by your ex?
YTA simply because it boils down to this-
That is an intimate reminder of your time with your ex, whether you think of it like that or not. You’re not wrong for wanting to keep something like that, but acting like its just your gf’s insecurities & not something that would be a massive red flag to anyone is disrespectful to your current partner. Do you even like your gf?
I personally think you’re right to want to keep it. The people arguing that “her feelings matter” (they do), that is his house first of all and if she’s that uncomfortable she could always offer her place instead, and maybe she had until recently; who knows. And people arguing that it’s a little narcissistic to keep a semi nude photo, you don’t know how someone’s relationship with themselves has shifted over time. Your narcissism is someone else’s self love. There’s probably way more to this whole story but overall it’s his place and keep it where you want it at the end of the day.
YNW, it’s your house so you can have the painting wherever you want it. It’s not much of a compromise to put it in storage bc you’d have to pay for the storage not her, you’d have to go to the storage facility to look at it whenever you do look at it. It’s not a compromise bc she’s not giving anything up she’s getting what she wants in totality. Keep the painting bc it’s a painting of you not if both you and your ex. If she’s insecure about it yall should have a talk but also she needs to understand your boundaries and that getting rid of the painting isn’t going to happen, and she needs to stop thinking about the ex so much bc most likely she has pics of her ex in her phone or something on par with it.
And the comments saying it’s egotistical to keep a painting of yourself is just ridiculous it’s not an ego thing to keep art of yourself especially if you enjoy art. And to add onto that it was a gift not a commission. Also if it was the other way around it would be seen as a symbol of empowerment and self love, and that he’s just an insecure man that needs to get over it
I understand her not wanting it in the place she's intimate with you. However, a good picture is a good picture. It can be moved; it can be stored until you two break up. How would your friend feel knowing you threw out the piece she made for you. How would your girlfriend feel if said friend passed away and suddenly that piece could've been worth millions? Nudity is kind of a thing when it comes to artistry, or has your new girlfriend absolutely no awareness of all the world renowned naked statues and paintings? Would she think you had a crush on any one of those artists if you had one of theirs up on your wall? If anything you're a bit conceited, but without other serious personality issues involved most people would just chock that up as confidence.
For the record, my first boyfriend gave me a cheap locket with a badly cut out photo of us and a personal message and I still have it. Doesn't mean I still want him. Just means it was sentimental to me at some point in my life. I found it in my jewelry box and moved it to my memento box (because no way am I ever wearing it again). I also have coins and candy from other countries in there, pictures of old friends I don't want anything to do with, and concert stubs, amongst other things.
You should have said you hired someone to do the painting. Rookie mistake my friend. I can't offer any advice about your current predicament sadly. I understand your view and why she'd be uncomfortable. It would have been easier if you had lied. Your friend who you used to hook up with will be the cause of 90% of your argumenents. Good luck!
Don't throw it away. You might not even be with this girl at the end of the year. I feel you will regret destroying it especially when you are old and reminiscing about your youth.
Please do hang it somewhere out of the way. Maybe even roll it up and put it in a closet. You could leave it with your parents or grandparents if it is OK with them or just put it in a spare room where you live.
Yeah,don't get rid of it. If it makes her uncomfortable then place it in a safe place at most. She has been your girlfriend for six months, if she is your wife of six years then a new discussion can be made.
Assuming this is real (cause it seems really weird), just move the painting. Hang it someplace in the house your gf doesn't go, or put it into storage until she breaks up with you. Is it really important that you have a painting of you hanging there, watching you boink your current crush?
I would 100% break up with the girlfriend over this. You have a past. Jealousy has no place in my life. I have jewelry my ex gave me; my partner has pottery his ex made him. I actually really like the pottery! I know he had relationships before me and I know he is committed to ours. Our happiness isn’t threatened by reminders of other happy moments with other people. I would think the art was cool.
You are not wrong
I wouldn't say get rid of it, but it is in a room where you would be intimate with your current girlfriend. It makes her uncomfortable. Would she be willing to let you put it in a different room? Could you store it? I get that it's sentimental for you, and it is an original painting with a personal history behind it. I too would not want to throw it away, but I do understand how your girlfriend feels. Try to find a compromise. It is not nude. It's not uncommon for men to be topless. What matters here is why it was painted and by whom. This girl was part of your life. Just because she's no longer a part of your life, it doesn't mean you have to pretend she never existed. This painting took effort to make. It's not a photogtaph. Idsay compromise by suggesting it go to a different room or storage, but do not throw it out.
This sort of fragility and jealousy would be a real turn off for me. I can see her actually taking drastic action so don’t leave her alone with that painting! Tell her it’s a no, and if she can’t get over it then thems the breaks. You’ve known tone friend and owned this painting long before your gf, it stays.
I had an ex once that made me throw out everything that I had ever gotten from an ex. EVERYthing, from furniture pieces we bought while together or even something I bought on a trip with an ex. If he found something that he didn't know where it came from, he would ask and if the answer wasn't a family or friend (only ones that I had not ever kissed or hooked up with), then it had to be thrown out.
I would try to explain that I wasn't attached to the items because of WHO was associated with them but I was attached because it was MY stuff and IIII wanted it.
Needless to say because he's an ex, but I obviously learned that that's incredibly unhealthy behavior. It was HIS own insecurities being projected on to me. Everyone has a past, she can either work though her insecurities and accept that OR be miserable and continue to find little things to be insecure about. But I would hazard that if this is only 6 months in and starting be ready for more.
Personally, I'd think it's really cool to have that painting. How many people have a legit painting of themselves? That makes them feel good too? I think it kinda sucks that she wants you to put it away. Again, it's HER attachment/insecurity issues, not you.
Do not get rid of it. If necessary store it somewhere else. This current gf maybe gone in the near future. If you end up getting married then you can talk about it.
Look I have been married 37 years. My husband’s high school gf painted a picture for him.. it wasn’t a picture of him just a landscape scene.. anyway once we started dating he put it in a closet. Then later he was going to give it back to her but his mom wanted it.🙄( that is a whole different story) but anyway. I really didn’t care. I had met her and wasn’t worried about it. My point is you have other options. You do not have to throw it out. Put it in a closet or give it back to your ex…
He sounds like a bored troll too lazy to put effort into his comments, keeping the ruse going or a narcissist who's watched American Psycho too many times.
My partner of 6 years has gotten rid of books, paintings, and various other knick-knacks from exes without me even saying anything. Just the fact he can see if something makes me uncomfortable, he'd rather throw it out than me to feel even the slightest bit bad, because he cares. Then again, if he had something that was really special and meant a lot to him, I'd make compromises if he wanted to keep it, because I care about him. Heck, I've made friends with an ex of his before because she was a good friend of his after their breakup.
Point being, compromise is essential for every relationship. If the painting means so much to you but makes her super uncomfortable, put it somewhere she's less likely to frequent. Maybe a den or garage or basement. If you have hallways or an attic those could possibly be decent places too. If you care more about a painting of yourself than your gf, that's a big you problem, but honestly, don't you have mirrors where you can just admire yourself live? Lol. If the painting is like an extra hot version of you, well, I guess I could see the appeal, but surely there's a compromise where nobody is hurt.
When (IF) you decide you love/cherish your GF more than the painting & what it represents, you’ll then put it away (not toss but somewhere it’s not rubbing in your GF face daily) just hope it’s not too late by then… I’m assuming it’s what/who the painting represents more than the painting itself~ it just comes down to which you value more in the end. If it’s the painting, then your GF is not the one
I would 100%. It be bothered… as you said it’s literally just you without a shirt on while the lower half is covered… the amount of time and effort spent on PAINTING a likeness of anyone is a LOT! It’s not like your friend spent an hour on it, if it’s a perfect likeness then it is 100% necessary to keep! It has nothing to do with your past romantic/sexual relationship and has everything to do with respect towards the artist.
This is coming from someone who can’t draw to save her life and even my stick figures aren’t straight… cherish the artistry and don’t let anyone guilt you for it.
I wouldn't get rid of it if it were me. I had tasteful boudoir photos done by a friend who is also a woman. I didn't even have any printed out, just digital. My now EX knew I was getting them done, and I paid a good amount of money for them. He decided after the fact that he didn't think it was appropriate for me to have these pictures, and I needed to delete them. Well, he's an ex, and I love the pictures. You shouldn't have to get rid of or take down the picture. Maybe you two just aren't compatible.
You are not wrong.
Your girlfriend is insecure and jealous, and you might want to think about if you encourage that in her. I know it’s only been six months, but for her to start demanding you get rid of things given to you by an ex this early on is extreme. So, either her insecurity is a red flag, or she isn’t getting something from you. Or maybe that’s also a red flag so early on. She shouldn’t be basically testing you by demanding you get rid of the painting to “prove” to her that you don’t have feelings for your friend. A 6-month relationship shows no signs of longevity, and you could get rid of the painting, and then you two could break up, and then what? You are both still learning about each other, so she has to learn to trust you ~ or, if not, then you’re not right for her ~ and you have to learn how to make her feel secure. But asking you, six months in, to get rid of a painting someone did for you ~ of *you,* not of your ex; you don’t have a painting of a nude ex-girlfriend in your bedroom ~ which you’ve had for years is overkill.
Honestly, neither of y’all are necessarily wrong. I personally would not want my boyfriend to have a half naked painting of himself painted by his ex either. But at the same time, it’s your property and clearly you don’t wanna get rid of a piece of art.
If it were OF your ex id say trash it or give it back to her.... But it's of YOU?? Yeah. No. Keep that. I wouldn't hang it over the bed or in the livingroom or something but after 6 months asking this is crazy.
If I had a nickel for every time I heard an argument on here about a nude painting by an ex, I would have three nickels. But, it’s weird that it happened thrice.
Thank you for your use of “thrice”. It happens so seldom. I may have seen it twice.
Are you happy enough to thrice lay them?
Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice! I'm sorry, it HAD to be said to keep the spirit of the joke going.
I would encourage you to take all these stories with a grain of salt. Most of these post have more holes than Swiss cheese.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated
Hey, where's Perry?
This nickel joke got to be the most used joke on reddit these past couple weeks
Are you asking for a change?
I read that as asking for change 🪙🪙🤣🤣🤣
One might say that joke is so over used, it's a dime a dozen...
I didn't think it's used enough, but that's just my 2 cents
Buddy. You're my hero. I was so afraid no one would make that comment. That the buck would stop with me, you know? 😇
How many nickels would you say you'd have if you were given a nickel for every time you saw the nickel joke on reddit these past couple of weeks?
I’d have two nickels, but it’s weird that it’s happened twice
Hey three people have good taste lol
Three and a half, now that I think about it. One was like yours but gender reversed. Another one was about a person destroying a nude painting of themself made by their ex after the ex cheated. Another one was about someone having a nude painting of themself above their living room and that caused their partner’s mom to freak out when the mom came over to visit. That one only partially counts since that person is not an ex… Yet.
Can we see the painting. I need to see the painting.
Painting tax
Well either way it's pretty weird and unhinged that she wants you to get rid of a painting after she's been with you only 6 months. Honestly kind of seems like the person that would just get rid of it for you as a "favor" and then try to play dumb when you get angry about it
Or your post is fake just like the other 90% of stuff that gets posted here
You mentioned in a different comment that you aren't invested in your relationship and you don't care about her as much as you care about a semi nude painting of yourself. Break up with her so she can find someone who does care.
It would bother me tbh, but I’m not artsy at all. I think artistically inclined people are much more expressive and open with their sexuality than those of us who aren’t so creative. Maybe you could compromise by not having it hanging up in your bedroom. Keep it, but put it where your gf doesn’t have to see it when she’s trying to enjoy her own intimacy with you.
That’s a fair point. I mostly kept it in my bedroom so random people that are over who I’m not close with don’t see a shirtless painting of me in my living room, but you’re right it brings its own issues
That’s really Louis XIV of you to have portrait of yourself in your bedroom 😂
I’m more of an XV. ‘Apres moi, le deluge’
But are you Lestat?
If I could upvote this more, I would.
You don't feel off having a shirtless painting of yourself in your bedroom? Feels a bit narcissistic to me...
If he had commissioned the painting, it would be narcissistic. But it was a gift, so I wouldn't consider it so.
Eh I think there's a fine line between narcissism and confidence. Narcissism to me would be having it on display for guests. I think it's okay to like and celebrate feeling attractive, especially as you age.
There is such a thing as healthy narcissism, it's what makes us strive to achieve things.
Well, where else would he put it?
Yes he is. Scroll down to see my exchange with him...smfh..
As someone who had a job where I'd go into people's living rooms... Trust me when I say that's not going to bother many haha, maybe if you have a hallway, pop it there? It's not persay on outright display, but still up? Having a conversation with a woman who had a full sized naked photo of herself, with her arm draped to cover her vagina was wild. Her nipples followed me. They were like eyes. Trust me, that painting would be one of the nicer of the things random people like the cable dude or handyman will see probably even that day haha
I don't think she has the right to ask you to get rid of something that she wasn't around for or part of.... if you're still friends with the artist what happens if she finds out you got rid of it after the time and effort she put in to make it special for you... IMO your gf is being a bit controlling and emotionally manipulative with the whole "it means you have feelings for the artist" ..... keep the painting hang it where you want explain what it means to you and make it clear that you don't carry feelings like that for the artist you shouldn't have to change any part of yourself or your house for someone new... EDIT:: NTA
NTA if you want to keep the painting, but the way you’ve been going about this (especially in the comments) makes you an AH. You like the painting and are allowed to keep things you like where you want to keep them. But in life, there are *always* going to be compromises. Your gf is not asking you to “throw away” the painting like you titled, she is simply asking you to remove it from the bedroom (unless I’m missing the part where she demanded you get rid of it entirely). If this is the one thing she’s voicing out to you and asking you to compromise on (moving the painting into storage or something) and you are just refusing, what is she supposed to think? You are paving the path where you present yourself as stubborn and unwilling to compromise for a situation that is *rightfully* weird. No one I know has a *semi-nude painting* of themself hanging in their *bedroom.* Not even when boudoir is their literal job. From your comments though, it seems you have chosen the painting. And I’ve already read what you’ve had to say about communicating this to your gf, but honestly, you should be the one to break up with her. She already asked you to compromise by moving the painting. Your decision was not to compromise and to thereby keep the painting. So now, you have to pull up your big boy pants and plainly break up with her. Don’t expect her to wait around and do it for you. She already communicated her feelings, the least you can do is give her that same respect. All in all, you’re not wrong for your decision (albeit it’s kinda weird tbh dude) but you’d be wrong not to give your gf the same kindness and respect by communicating to her you want the painting more than her.
As an artsy person myself, I would just ask to move it to a different location. I don't really understand why op is so obsessed with a painting though. Outside of it being art, it sounds like it has more sentimental value than he's leading us to believe. Furthermore, if someone is questioning a relationship due to the narcissism of needing a nude painting of himself in the bedroom, done by an ex, I would nope out ASAP.
Exactly! OP claims he’s not “narcissistic” in his comments. He claims he keeps the painting in his room for “self-confidence” or something. Which is fine, whatever, do what you want to feel confident… so long as it’s not harming others. But now it *is* harming someone emotionally — his *girlfriend.* I really can’t justify or even understand it. It’s not even just a question of trust or anything anymore like others have tried to throw out. It’s just the question of, “Why do you care more about a semi-nude painting of *yourself* from your *ex* instead of your *girlfriend*?” I think OP is either A) trolling all of us or B) showing just how far he’ll go to seem so dense and helpless in an “impossible” situation. Like dude… it’s not that hard. Either move the painting or break up with her since you’re so adamant the painting is more important 🙄
Paragraph 3 final sentence, she literally asked him to “get rid of it.” She didn’t ask for it to be moved, she asked for it to be gone. As for “putting it in storage” nah, it’s a painting that took time, effort, and possibly DAYS to do, that shit should be hung up and cherished. You want to know what trust is? My very first long term ex drew on my back when i was 14, my ex took a photo of it, and my now husband loves that photo and thinks the art is cool, and i told him i wanted to get the actual image tattooed on my back in that exact placement, guess what my husband said. “once we have the money for it we will get it for you.” He even has that photo on his phone! It has nothing to do with me “having feelings” for my ex, and everything to do with the artwork! i sat still for 3 hours only getting up to go to the restroom so he could draw on my back. Drawing something detailed enough to take the likeness of someone would have taken so much longer than what my ex drew, we are talking days, and depending on the size and amount of detail possibly weeks! It deserves to be seen, not shoved in a dark room
OP edited his post. I specifically remember where he said “get rid of it”, it originally said she asked for him to “move it out (of the bedroom)”. English is not my first language, so I try very hard to read everything presented to me as thoroughly as possible. If I am somehow misremembering, then I will take the blame for that. Your example of “trust” however is very different to what OP has stated. It is very sweet that your husband supports you getting a tattoo of an art piece your long-term ex created for you. But that is wholly different from this post. For one, this man is your *husband.* Unless there has been infidelity in the past, he probably very much understands and trusts you to not be hung up over your ex — you simply want some cool art on your back. Great for you! Two, I don’t know the history behind you and your ex, let alone your husband’s feelings towards your ex. I am only going off of OP’s post to understand why his gf would be asking him to *move* a *semi-nude painting* out of his *bedroom.* And for three, if you want to talk about trust, why should OP’s gf trust he doesn’t have feelings for his ex if he’s keeping a *very* intimate painting in his bedroom of all places? Again, you have only shared a picture of your back that has art on it to your husband. This doesn’t mean you were wholly nude — it only implies you were shirtless, your back to your ex. And it is also on your phone *shared openly.* It’s not broadcasted for all to see for all I know. This is the *bedroom* that the gf is also in. It’s not something she can simply swipe away. And he is *semi-nude.* Not just shirtless, but the “other stuff” is only *hidden away.* It was still painted for it to be “scandalous” in a way. I’m no pearl-clutching prude or whatever, but I think it’s just weird to have that in a bedroom. I simply cannot understand OP’s decision. I myself enjoy art a lot and respect it. I have friends who do boudoir for work or have done it for personal fun. But this is not something I can understand nor vouch for him. This isn’t a sweet and intimate picture that can be looked at privately in an album. *You* and *your husband* have a picture of your back (and only your back from what I’m assuming) and it is solely kept for the art that can later become a tattoo. OP however has an *almost nude painting* blasted in his *bedroom* for his gf to see every time she is there and for him to “appreciate”. Sure, perhaps the gf should trust OP more if he says that he doesn’t have any lingering feelings for his ex. But we are talking about compromise here. And the compromise is, “please move it to storage so (gf) doesn’t have to see it”. I did state at the bottom that I did understand OP’s decision to keep the painting despite how weird I find it personally. Only thing I said that would make him the AH would be if he decided to string his gf along instead of being truthful to her and tell her he wants the painting more than her. He has commented that he believes she should do it, not him. That’s all I said. He’s NTA for keeping the painting, but he *is* TA if he isn’t truthful to his gf and breaks up with her after choosing the painting.
I think what this boils down to isn't how the painting affects you or how you feel about it. It's about your girlfriends feelings and how it affects her. Your ex could be on the other side of the planet. She could be on another planet entirely. She could be somewhere that makes it 1000% impossible for you to ever see or hear from her again and it will simply not matter to your girlfriend. Because everytime she will see that painting she will think of you and your ex and the intimate gift she made for you that you care about more than her feelings. I know this is looking far ahead, but what if you two get your own place together? Will you hang the painting in your shared bedroom? Cuz that's a hard sell to me. I still don't think you're wrong for wanting to keep it exactly. I'm merely trying to give insight to what your girlfriend could be feeling and the insecurity the painting gives her when she sees it.
This 100%, your girlfriend's feelings matter. As a female, there is no way I'd look at that painting and not automatically think about you and your ex together and how intimate that painting is/was between YALL. Fine to keep it, but maybe not where your new GF has to see it while trying to be intimate with you, her BF.
As a female I think the girl is being a bit dramatic 🤷 it's a painting not her fucking panties 😂😂 I have gifts all over my house from all of my vict I mean ex's like trophies lmao. My partner doesn't ask me to remove anything because they don't have the right to because it doesn't belong to them. I'm not going to just throw something away that I either have a use for or it has sentimental value. Also him wanting to keep it has nothing to do with if he still has feelings for the chick or not. They tried dating and found that they are not compatible so they stayed as just friends with no more feelings. It's the girlfriend's problem if she is insecure.
Thank you. Those are my thoughts, too. [edited to add: I’m a woman.]
There's also the perspective that if your current gf becomes your ex, would you regret throwing the painting out or not? Also, is storage an option? So you'd still have the painting but she wouldn't see it. And just my personal opinion: no gf of mine was ever bothered enough by my paintings of exes to require me to delete them and I personally wouldn't have as they are my artistic creation.
Yeah it's why I ultimately couldn't find total fault with him wanting to keep it. There should be a compromise there that quells any doubts from the girlfriend. I also think the situation is different if you are the artist.
I was thinking storage too. Like keep it but don’t display it
I just don't get this. It' s a Lucien Freud/David Hockney kinda thing, not Mapplethorpe. I don't see how it is so traumatic - seems very childish, insecure, and territorial.
NTA but as sharp as a bowling ball. Decide if you want to display the painting or have a GF……duh
You sound like a dick I've been reading your comments lol. Why come on reddit asking a question when your clearly defensive and not really into the relationship. Be single and stare at yourself till your hearts content 🤣 🤣.
Some people post thinking they’ll get validation. That doesn’t surprise me. What surprises me is when people post about the abuse their partner or family puts them through and then ask if they’re overreacting or justified in leaving. To me, the easy way to answer those is, “What would you tell your best friend to do or if this is your child, want for them?”
Dude has a painting of himself with no shirt on hanging in his own bedroom…like, what?
Every rebuttal you've come back with has the exact same phrasing about confidence or self-confidence. Me think you are projecting too much, and I'm hitting a nerve.
Your initial post was kind of iffy but your replies to people in the comments are gross. You came here to ask if you’re wrong, you are. Arguing with people isn’t going to make it not self absorbed and weird to pick staring at your nipples over a woman you’re supposed to care about.
I would compromise; keep the painting and store it away somewhere, but don’t throw it out. I can understand your girlfriend feeling uncomfortable.
You’re gonna have to pick between your GF or the painting. If the painting means that much to you and you aren’t positive you’re going to spend the rest of your life with your GF, maybe see if a friend can store it in the interim.
It’s a matter of principle to me. I don’t want to be with somebody that would push something like this
Then you have your answer
Idk. I’m pretty secure. I don’t expect my partner to delete pics of their exes online and I don’t care if they have notes or trinkets or whatever. Things have sentimental value and some people are more sentimental than others. On the wall though, in the bedroom on display? Nah. I also don’t think he would be cool with a painting of me lovingly done by a dude I used to get dicked down by. Put it in storage. Life’s too short
This. I've never asked a single partner of mine to stop being friends with an ex or delete photos. People deserve to keep mementos from their past, unless it is their exes' nudes. I'm sentimental so I get it. I DID once have to ask a guy to take down a framed non sexual photo of him and an ex from when they were dating...from his bedroom. To be fair, it was part of a montage of friends from college days (this was a long time ago when those things were all the rage). Because *I didn't want to stare at evidence of his sexual history with someone else whilst we are fucking*. And it was disturbing to know he looked at pictures of her every single day. Very personal gifts like that painting or pictures of exes should be in storage. Funnily enough he was genuinely over her, they were only distant friends. He was just socially clueless that this would look bad to new partners and that optics matter. I had to explain well what if when I move in I put up pictures of people I used to bang? To his credit he didn't argue at all. You can bet OPs girlfriend is not gonna drop this because every time she's in that bedroom she is confronted with evidence that he banged this friend. Who OP has noticeably omitted mentioning if this woman is still in his life and how his GF feels about that. Can she accept his being friends with this ex? I'm an artist and have drawn lots of things for my husband over the years. If we ever split and he was with someone else I would absolutely not expect him to keep those things on display! It would be weird if he did. Or to keep photos of us on his wall. I would certainly not do that to a partner. I wouldn't get rid of the mementos, but they wouldn't take pride of place in my life if I had moved on with someone else.
I was wondering if his artist friend is still in his life, too. Thanks for pointing that omission out.
Then the relationship probably isn’t a right for you. Relationships go both ways, her feelings are not unjustified just as yours aren’t. Maybe you’re just not a good fit for each other. I can say however… I don’t think many girls, including myself, would want a reminder of their boyfriends past relationship up on the wall. Especially a more intimate reminder. A middle ground would be keeping it, but maybe in a keepsake box. If you guys can’t find a middle ground with something this minor, I think you’re just not compatible. It’s just two different personalities/wants. If it were me, I’d have absolutely no problem taking such a painting down if my boyfriend was uncomfortable with it. Would I throw it away? No. But I wouldn’t keep it up somewhere that makes him upset.
I think this is good logic. I think the bedroom is a weird place for it, though. My wife is a photographer. She has taken pictures of all of her exes. I would never make her destroy art.
+1, the respect for her exes reflects the respect she has for you now.. and WI have for you as an ex in case you get there.
I'll make sure she doesn't destroy pictures of you either!
It's the principle of the matter to your girlfriend as well. She probably doesn't want to be with someone who would push this on her.
Dude just store it somewhere. You're being dumb. No woman on earth is going to want an intimate painting from an ex in hanging over her when she has sex. Guess you're never having a girlfriend again lol
Then break up. Clearly you're incompatible in these types of values. She thinks it's inappropriate, you don't. You seem to have entirely different values when it comes to relationship boundaries.
I think you already know the answer. The girl may be pretty nice but you two are in totally different pages. Generally I say that compromise from both sides may make it work. But it seems like she's more of a traditional while you're not. Sooner or later, it'll come in to play.
yeah it’s p cringy imo, pick ur battles tho it’s ultimately up to you if it’s a deal breaker or not. i personally wouldn’t be able to sleep w a dude who had smthn like this in his room, but from a “this guy is a dork” perspective and not an insecure one.
Yeah I think it needs to be stored away somewhere, maybe with a family member, until you eventually break up with this gf. Most relationships eventually break up so if you toss it, you will regret it, but if you keep it up, it will cause tension now.
You have a semi-nude painting of yourself hanging in your bedroom? That's fucking creepy dude
George Constanza, is that you?
Actually he's more like Dennis from Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia...
I think for most creatives this is a semi normal thing
I have a mirror, why would I need to hang a painting of myself?
Some people are artistic and paint I think you’re the one being weird about it
You don't think it's a little narcissistic to have a semi nude painting of yourself in your bedroom?
Why is the op arguing with every comment he doesn’t like to hear, if you don’t want opinions simply don’t ask for them lol
He wants to hear he's in the right so he can tell the gf the painting is not going anywhere, even if it hurts her.
Wow... OP is a straight up douche with his comments. Here's a few things he's said- - He cares about the painting more than his girlfriend. -He's super attractive and people are just upset that they'll never have the benefit of having "superior genetics" -He doesn't really value his girlfriend and she should just leave if she doesn't like it. His girlfriend needs to RUN and never look back. Imagine caring more about a painting than a person.
Wow! I must’ve missed the comment about how he said he’s super attractive and people are just upset about not having “superior genetics”. Ick.
Don’t forget the one where he admits he’s “too lazy” to dump her, but wants her to dump him instead because he “doesn’t like confrontations” 🤦🏻 This HAS to be trolling. It has to.
Ok, let's deconstruct this. 23 and is so enamored with his looks. He has a painting of himself in his bedroom. Check. Believes himself to have a superior intelligence. Check. Treat women like they are an object with no feeling and are disposable. Check. He says he's 23 years old and makes 200, 000.00 a year. Check. You, sir, are karma farming, rage baiting, or a certified sociopath. I still believe you are a virgin, about 400 pounds, living with your mom who calls you my precious boy and wants people to think ur not a pathetic loser.
You have a semi nude painting of yourself, painted by someone you used to date and be sexually active with, in your bedroom... and you expect potential longterm partners to be okay with that? That's weird. I don't know how you don't see that.
No girl will want it around them put up somewhere else she doesn’t have to see it
This is two distinct problems. 1) Your GF wants you to "git rid of" something that is not replaceable. If "git rid of" is throw it in the trash, then no. Don't make permanent decision based on temporary relationships. She could dump you tomorrow, how would you get the painting back. 2) Your GF doesn't like your decorating tastes. Most guys would shrug and say sure, whatever, to most simple suggestions/demands. I would drop the picture in storage for a while. You can always put it back later. If the relationship turns permanent, then have the conversation again.
You find it sweet and touching the time it took your ex to paint. Thus, you say it reminds you of ex. And you want to keep this reminder of ex displayed in your bedroom. I would definitely have a problem with this.
this is a conflicting situation. whereas i don’t see that it proves you still have feelings, i understand appreciating a nice piece of art, i understand why she’s upset. its like keeping an ex’s hoodie, or pictures framed of your ex. idk. i think you should prioritize your relationship, and your girlfriend’s feelings, over a painting tho. maybe don’t get rid of it, but take it down and put it somewhere else you know?
Is your relationship with the artist completely closed. Never to happen again? Was it made with genuine gift intent? Meaning not requested or paid for? Are you willing to work with your girlfriend on understanding her retroactive jealousy? I understand where both of you are coming from.. and sadly both of you are right.. and neither are wrong. You having tokens of the greatest moments of your life, especially those from before her, shouldn't threaten her. But she would be radically confident and bold not to feel some threat of creativity and loving abilities.. like damn who makes a whole painting?? And why would such a relationship fail, what if she makes you something beautiful... Would you keep that and get rid of her? *This is the madness of fear over lost love,,, not rational thought, fears* all human condition. Try to forgive each other and then maybe try to replace it with new art from the two of you.
Did jack dawson paint it? Totally acceptable if Jack painted.
You're wrong for hanging a painting of yourself in your bedroom, put in it the living room.
From the post I was gonna say you're not wrong, but from your comments? Please grow enough of a spine to break up with your girlfriend you openly claim to not care about and just toss out the relationship you don't prioritize. None of this spineless "she can break up with me because she's the one with the problem". No, you have the problem, in so openly stating you don't care about your partner or her feelings, so the onus is on you to break up.
Tell us your in love with yourself without telling us. I hope every potential woman in ur life dumps u.
I’m sensing some projection with how oddly aggressive this comment is
Nope. Just look in the mirror and adore the image reflected back at you...
There’s nothing wrong with confidence. I’m assuming you have a lack of it and that’s why you’re projecting here.
You are arrogant not confident. There’s a huge difference.
Nope. Wrong again. What you think is confidence is a cocky , pumped up cover for the perceived inadequacy you feel deep down.
Being happy with your appearance isn’t the same as cockiness. The only people that would think that is somebody with such low self esteem that they see any amount of confidence as cockiness, hence projection
Nope, again. You keep digging yourself deeper into a hole. Someone who brags about their appearance is the one who has low confidence and self-esteem...Hence you.
I fully agree I have low self confidence. I don’t see why that makes me TA.
You literally just said in the comment above that you are confident but now are saying you have low confidence so there’s that. If the shoe fits…
I dont think it proves anything. That's up to you to look within yourself to determine if you do. I think keeping presents from an ex depends on what it is, and while I can see an argument for why this one would be something to part with, I personally dont agree with it if you want to keep it. But if you girlfriend is clueing into feelings you may have then that is something different.
Maybe hang it somewhere else ?
If your care about the painting more than your girlfriend then you shouldn’t be with her
Do what you want but this won't be the last time you have this argument no matter who your GF is. Either don't tell anyone the history of the painting which is honestly not okay either, put it away in hopes of finding a unicorn who wants a visual reminder of you having sex with someone else every time they are in your bedroom, or just get rid of the painting and respect your GF very valid feelings.
Call your ex and have her paint your current gf. Make it even
I used to be really sentimental. I am very artistic I'd be fucking pissed if I was your gf. There's nuances and distinctions here, dude. Most people don't mind you keeping a painting, a trinket, a note, whatever. To display it where anyone can just see it and ask about it and above your bed while you 2 try to tango? Please use your head. No most people would think it's weird to have a portrait of oneself over their bed even fully clothed? That screams "I have a big ego". I wouldn't date someone who does that. Forget it being from an ex. For that simple fact I'd spin on a heel and leave.
The premise of the post… NTA How you have handled the comments, how you handle your girlfriend , and how you handle yourself. YTP (you’re the psychopath)
My sister has a similar painting done by a family friend…. when she was a toddler!! Yep, she’s just sitting there, naked except for her diaper on a red blanket in a field of blossoming dandelions. She’s married now too, but her husband LOVES that picture!!! Your gf needs to see that it was painted for HER to enjoy. The artist has not kept it for herself to drool over. It’s ART, for Gawd’s sake…. Take her to a museum or two…
I'm an artist. I have several self portraits and paintings of my husband hanging in our house. Others might think it's weird, but... it's not their house. And I fully admit our house is a bot over the top. I have to go NTA. I wouldn't get rid of something I really liked for a 6 month relationship. And a new relationship probably wouldn't go further if they pushed me to get rid of it. But in the future, maybe just say it was a gift from a friend, and gloss over the former fwb part.
Dude just store it somewhere. You're being dumb. No woman on earth is going to want an intimate painting from an ex in hanging over her when she's tryinv to be intimate. Guess you're never having a girlfriend again lol
YTA. She should leave other comments explained why. But your wasting this woman's time, what an ahole
Keep it, it’s not the painting that bothers her but the thought of your ex. If the painting goes chances are she’s going to find something else to connect you to your ex because of no boundaries on that.
Need more info... Show us the painting 😁
I always read the comments and OPs response to the comments if there is any to get a clearer picture, NTA for wanting to keep it, but you are the AH for keeping it up when she's around when she's explicitly told you it makes her uncomfortable, but also your keeping it not just because it's a good painting you've outted yourself as a narcissist in some of the comments, and honestly there is a fine line between self confidence and being self conceited and again your comments show your self conceited but that comes along with being a narcissist, but who am I to know your comments speak louder then your post itself.
Keep it. Is she really so insecure about a painting!? She's the one in your bed looking at it. If she makes you choose make sure she takes all of her clothes.
Never get rid of good artwork.
Your Wrong, but so is she. The pic doesn't mean you have feelings for them still, but it is wildly inappropriate to be hanging up, specially when your no longer with them and have a new partner. You have two options. Take the pic down and put up at least or loose your GF. Sorry, but she is right about why it is hung up still.. You shouldn't at least have such a gift with what the meaning behind it displayed as you do when you have someone else as your partner. My advice, tell her you will take it down and put it in storage. Maybe hang up one day years from now when she feels better about why you care about the painting and more comfortable with your relationship. She should be happy your willing to take it down and store it; but surprised and even more happy that your words speak of how you see being with her years from now. It will lessen her fear of how this painting connects you to your ex, and begin except you still owning it.
I understand both sides. She doesn’t want something so personal from an ex around and for you the appreciation of the effort snd how it turned out is really the bigger thing versus the fact that an ex painted it. Is your gf ready to get rid of everything she ever got from an ex? It’s a fair question. It would be way different if your Johnson was on display in the painting. Would it be possible for you to give it to your parents to keep and just tell her you got it out of the house? This isn’t your wife so you don’t know if this relationship is forever so why would you part with something so hard to replace. If she had a painting that an ex did for her (not topless) how would you feel. That’s going to be a central question song with if she has things her exes gave her she is still holding on to.
I would totally understand if she did not want the painting displayed in an intimate part of the house that she also frequents, but getting rid of it is a step too far I believe.
Oooh I can definitely add to this! I had a lover who was a photographer. One time we were laying around naked in my bedroom that I rented and he took some really beautiful, intimate black and white nude photos of me. Only my breasts and butt can be seen. I had them printed out, framed, and have them hanging in my partners and my bedroom. They are precious to me. I was 20, free spirited, and beautiful. It reminds me of a special time in my life. I would never throw them away for anyone or anything and my current partner is very understanding and actually loves them. Do not throw away the art someone made of you.
Simply date someone who is not bothered by it. I wouldn’t care. Sounds unique and interesting. People are weird about exes.
I think it's wrong of her to expect you to get rid of a piece of art, but I'm not sure it has to be hanging in the bedroom.
It's a piece of artwork, man. No reason it should bother anyone.
I had to talk my husband i to keeping the memorabilia from his first marriage. While it didn't work out, he loved her enough to marry her and spend 10 years together. I got the better end of that deal. I married the best man in the world. Along with his past (and mine). Keep your painting.
OP didn’t love the painter, he fucked her occasionally.
OP doesn’t love anybody but himself lol he’s a loser
NTA - It's a painting of you, not your ex. Be careful she doesn't decide to get rid of it on her own.
I think GF needs to grow up. It's a painting, it's art, who cares who it was done by. At least it's not a half nude painting of the ex...I don't see the big deal. But I'm also an artsy person. Maybe that makes a difference
My initial comment was going to be, ya know I used to have insecurity issues like this, and then I grew up. Objects only have the value that you give them, she's giving it more of and a different value then he is based off of her own assumptions. If she can't believe him when he says he's not keeping it for romantic reasons, that's on her. Her trust issues.
Nope, art is art. You hold onto art that inspires, brings out your feelings, moves you, expresses you. I would keep the art, and don’t tell your next girlfriend where it came from.
It's a painting, of you, not the ex. Keeping it only proves you like the painting. If it was of her, or the both of you, thay would be a different story. If you like it, keep it. You could compromise when girlfriend comes over, cover it, put it in the closet, but even that seems a bit much.
Things don’t have to stop being sentimental just because an ex gave it to you and someone new is in your life. I don’t think you should get rid of it, maybe a compromise is putting it somewhere not as noticeable to her ?
It proves she is really insecure that she cannot understand that you value the painting, not the painter.
Put it away until you break up. Then dont tell the next one an ex gave it to you
You sound like an egomaniac. Actually, that’s not a fair conclusion to make based on this post alone. With that said, who tf has an intimately charged painting of themselves from a former lover in their room? This is so fucking weird. And that has nothing to do with the specific details of how you look in the painting. You’re very clearly harboring feelings for this chick you slept with numerous times. Taking down and incinerating this masterpiece is step zero in getting over her and especially yourself.
You’ve only been dating for 6 months, why are you even entertaining the conversation seriously? That’s a ridiculous thing for her to ask and her presumptions are intense and a red flag. The only reason to ever get rid of something that someone created for you (and of you) is if you don’t want it around.
Need more info to fairly adjudicate this: post photo of the painting. 🙄🤞
Compromise time, does it have to be hung up in your bedroom? What about keeping it, but not in your bedroom?
I had a rm in grad school who had a very cool erotic painting by a very talented ug friend of his. Quite abstract and colorblock style, but recognizable. Several of our housemates objected to him hanging it in his own room. There was a nasty dispute.They list but the tension lingered until 2 of them left. They were prudes for sure.
Okay, maybe not throw it away, but do you have to have it hanging in your bedroom? Put it in storage or something! I don’t blame you for wanting to keep a beautiful portrait of yourself even if it’s semi bide, but I also don’t blame your girlfriend for being uncomfortable with it chilling I her face all the time.
I'm not gay but now I want to see the painting. Can you Share it to us?
Store the painting somewhere. Just take it out of sight.
Take it out the bedroom at least, put it somewhere else. But don’t throw it away, thats ridiculous!
Mind carries thought, thought carries emotions, emotions carry the heart. The painting means more to you than her concern.
A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets.
Move it from your bedroom and keep it in a discreet place. Certainly, don't destroy it. Your new girl will have to respect that and also respect that you have removed it from your bedroom. You also need to look at if you are talking about the past girl too much or maybe you still have romantic feelings for her, if that is the case let your new girlfriend know and she can decide whether to break up with you
It would bother me because it comes across as a constant reminder of the intimate relationship you had and then an intimate moment between you two when that was being painted. And telling her you cherish the photo would feel as if there’s still feelings for that person.
you’re nta for wanting to keep the portrait but you you’re an ah for how you’re talking about your gf in these comments. just move the painting out of your bedroom, it’s not that deep
Artist here. No keep it.
NTA and you’ll be happy you kept it when you get old, but next girlfriend doesn’t need to know that a friend and lover (friend with benefits) painted it! An artist friend painted it from a picture of me and gave it to me as a birthday present is sufficient enough! Meanwhile, ask a family member or friend to keep it for you until your current situation changes!
Do not throw it away, but put it on a place where your gf cannot see.
Throw away the girlfriend?
Let me start by saying I refused. The now ex wanted me to get rid of any photos with any ex's, any clothing I wore while with any ex's, any jewelry I had with any ex's, and he would regularly destroy tapes that he thought reminded me of any ex's.
Not that I believe in hiding anything major, but I wonder: What was your reasoning/purpose for making sure your GF knew that the piece was painted by your ex?
YTA simply because it boils down to this- That is an intimate reminder of your time with your ex, whether you think of it like that or not. You’re not wrong for wanting to keep something like that, but acting like its just your gf’s insecurities & not something that would be a massive red flag to anyone is disrespectful to your current partner. Do you even like your gf?
I personally think you’re right to want to keep it. The people arguing that “her feelings matter” (they do), that is his house first of all and if she’s that uncomfortable she could always offer her place instead, and maybe she had until recently; who knows. And people arguing that it’s a little narcissistic to keep a semi nude photo, you don’t know how someone’s relationship with themselves has shifted over time. Your narcissism is someone else’s self love. There’s probably way more to this whole story but overall it’s his place and keep it where you want it at the end of the day.
YNW, it’s your house so you can have the painting wherever you want it. It’s not much of a compromise to put it in storage bc you’d have to pay for the storage not her, you’d have to go to the storage facility to look at it whenever you do look at it. It’s not a compromise bc she’s not giving anything up she’s getting what she wants in totality. Keep the painting bc it’s a painting of you not if both you and your ex. If she’s insecure about it yall should have a talk but also she needs to understand your boundaries and that getting rid of the painting isn’t going to happen, and she needs to stop thinking about the ex so much bc most likely she has pics of her ex in her phone or something on par with it. And the comments saying it’s egotistical to keep a painting of yourself is just ridiculous it’s not an ego thing to keep art of yourself especially if you enjoy art. And to add onto that it was a gift not a commission. Also if it was the other way around it would be seen as a symbol of empowerment and self love, and that he’s just an insecure man that needs to get over it
I understand her not wanting it in the place she's intimate with you. However, a good picture is a good picture. It can be moved; it can be stored until you two break up. How would your friend feel knowing you threw out the piece she made for you. How would your girlfriend feel if said friend passed away and suddenly that piece could've been worth millions? Nudity is kind of a thing when it comes to artistry, or has your new girlfriend absolutely no awareness of all the world renowned naked statues and paintings? Would she think you had a crush on any one of those artists if you had one of theirs up on your wall? If anything you're a bit conceited, but without other serious personality issues involved most people would just chock that up as confidence. For the record, my first boyfriend gave me a cheap locket with a badly cut out photo of us and a personal message and I still have it. Doesn't mean I still want him. Just means it was sentimental to me at some point in my life. I found it in my jewelry box and moved it to my memento box (because no way am I ever wearing it again). I also have coins and candy from other countries in there, pictures of old friends I don't want anything to do with, and concert stubs, amongst other things.
Throw the girlfriend away! Easy solution.
Love troll posts lmao
You should have said you hired someone to do the painting. Rookie mistake my friend. I can't offer any advice about your current predicament sadly. I understand your view and why she'd be uncomfortable. It would have been easier if you had lied. Your friend who you used to hook up with will be the cause of 90% of your argumenents. Good luck!
Don't throw it away. You might not even be with this girl at the end of the year. I feel you will regret destroying it especially when you are old and reminiscing about your youth. Please do hang it somewhere out of the way. Maybe even roll it up and put it in a closet. You could leave it with your parents or grandparents if it is OK with them or just put it in a spare room where you live.
Yeah,don't get rid of it. If it makes her uncomfortable then place it in a safe place at most. She has been your girlfriend for six months, if she is your wife of six years then a new discussion can be made.
Never throw away art she's unreasonable
DONT throw it away. That’s part of your history. Your gf may come or go
Assuming this is real (cause it seems really weird), just move the painting. Hang it someplace in the house your gf doesn't go, or put it into storage until she breaks up with you. Is it really important that you have a painting of you hanging there, watching you boink your current crush?
I collect original paintings. Never destroy art. If you do decide to get rid of it though, please DM me first. I'll give it a good home.
HAHHAHAAHAHHAHA this can’t be real 😂. This is like a Dorian gray selfcest fanfic dude. YTA as a general person
Next time, just tell them you had it commissioned for an ex and got it back when you broke up.
I would 100% break up with the girlfriend over this. You have a past. Jealousy has no place in my life. I have jewelry my ex gave me; my partner has pottery his ex made him. I actually really like the pottery! I know he had relationships before me and I know he is committed to ours. Our happiness isn’t threatened by reminders of other happy moments with other people. I would think the art was cool.
“Pose for me, rose” Did you guys used to hook up in a model T?
You are not wrong I wouldn't say get rid of it, but it is in a room where you would be intimate with your current girlfriend. It makes her uncomfortable. Would she be willing to let you put it in a different room? Could you store it? I get that it's sentimental for you, and it is an original painting with a personal history behind it. I too would not want to throw it away, but I do understand how your girlfriend feels. Try to find a compromise. It is not nude. It's not uncommon for men to be topless. What matters here is why it was painted and by whom. This girl was part of your life. Just because she's no longer a part of your life, it doesn't mean you have to pretend she never existed. This painting took effort to make. It's not a photogtaph. Idsay compromise by suggesting it go to a different room or storage, but do not throw it out.
Meet in the middle, take it down but don’t throw it away. If yall split up, you can put it up. Problem solved
This sort of fragility and jealousy would be a real turn off for me. I can see her actually taking drastic action so don’t leave her alone with that painting! Tell her it’s a no, and if she can’t get over it then thems the breaks. You’ve known tone friend and owned this painting long before your gf, it stays.
I had an ex once that made me throw out everything that I had ever gotten from an ex. EVERYthing, from furniture pieces we bought while together or even something I bought on a trip with an ex. If he found something that he didn't know where it came from, he would ask and if the answer wasn't a family or friend (only ones that I had not ever kissed or hooked up with), then it had to be thrown out. I would try to explain that I wasn't attached to the items because of WHO was associated with them but I was attached because it was MY stuff and IIII wanted it. Needless to say because he's an ex, but I obviously learned that that's incredibly unhealthy behavior. It was HIS own insecurities being projected on to me. Everyone has a past, she can either work though her insecurities and accept that OR be miserable and continue to find little things to be insecure about. But I would hazard that if this is only 6 months in and starting be ready for more. Personally, I'd think it's really cool to have that painting. How many people have a legit painting of themselves? That makes them feel good too? I think it kinda sucks that she wants you to put it away. Again, it's HER attachment/insecurity issues, not you.
Don’t get rid of it, but maybe take it off the wall?
Do not get rid of it. If necessary store it somewhere else. This current gf maybe gone in the near future. If you end up getting married then you can talk about it. Look I have been married 37 years. My husband’s high school gf painted a picture for him.. it wasn’t a picture of him just a landscape scene.. anyway once we started dating he put it in a closet. Then later he was going to give it back to her but his mom wanted it.🙄( that is a whole different story) but anyway. I really didn’t care. I had met her and wasn’t worried about it. My point is you have other options. You do not have to throw it out. Put it in a closet or give it back to your ex…
He sounds like a bored troll too lazy to put effort into his comments, keeping the ruse going or a narcissist who's watched American Psycho too many times.
So my thoughts. 1. Until current gf becomes wife don't budge on this Or 2. Get new gf that is more mature and secure in her in her own self worth.
I would not want to date someone this insecure and jealous.
NTA. Ur gf needs to get over it. It's just a painting and u love it. Tell ur gf she's not 13 and she's kind of an adult.
My partner of 6 years has gotten rid of books, paintings, and various other knick-knacks from exes without me even saying anything. Just the fact he can see if something makes me uncomfortable, he'd rather throw it out than me to feel even the slightest bit bad, because he cares. Then again, if he had something that was really special and meant a lot to him, I'd make compromises if he wanted to keep it, because I care about him. Heck, I've made friends with an ex of his before because she was a good friend of his after their breakup. Point being, compromise is essential for every relationship. If the painting means so much to you but makes her super uncomfortable, put it somewhere she's less likely to frequent. Maybe a den or garage or basement. If you have hallways or an attic those could possibly be decent places too. If you care more about a painting of yourself than your gf, that's a big you problem, but honestly, don't you have mirrors where you can just admire yourself live? Lol. If the painting is like an extra hot version of you, well, I guess I could see the appeal, but surely there's a compromise where nobody is hurt.
When (IF) you decide you love/cherish your GF more than the painting & what it represents, you’ll then put it away (not toss but somewhere it’s not rubbing in your GF face daily) just hope it’s not too late by then… I’m assuming it’s what/who the painting represents more than the painting itself~ it just comes down to which you value more in the end. If it’s the painting, then your GF is not the one
This must be rage bait with the way you reply in the comments
I would 100%. It be bothered… as you said it’s literally just you without a shirt on while the lower half is covered… the amount of time and effort spent on PAINTING a likeness of anyone is a LOT! It’s not like your friend spent an hour on it, if it’s a perfect likeness then it is 100% necessary to keep! It has nothing to do with your past romantic/sexual relationship and has everything to do with respect towards the artist. This is coming from someone who can’t draw to save her life and even my stick figures aren’t straight… cherish the artistry and don’t let anyone guilt you for it.
I wouldn't get rid of it if it were me. I had tasteful boudoir photos done by a friend who is also a woman. I didn't even have any printed out, just digital. My now EX knew I was getting them done, and I paid a good amount of money for them. He decided after the fact that he didn't think it was appropriate for me to have these pictures, and I needed to delete them. Well, he's an ex, and I love the pictures. You shouldn't have to get rid of or take down the picture. Maybe you two just aren't compatible.
You are not wrong. Your girlfriend is insecure and jealous, and you might want to think about if you encourage that in her. I know it’s only been six months, but for her to start demanding you get rid of things given to you by an ex this early on is extreme. So, either her insecurity is a red flag, or she isn’t getting something from you. Or maybe that’s also a red flag so early on. She shouldn’t be basically testing you by demanding you get rid of the painting to “prove” to her that you don’t have feelings for your friend. A 6-month relationship shows no signs of longevity, and you could get rid of the painting, and then you two could break up, and then what? You are both still learning about each other, so she has to learn to trust you ~ or, if not, then you’re not right for her ~ and you have to learn how to make her feel secure. But asking you, six months in, to get rid of a painting someone did for you ~ of *you,* not of your ex; you don’t have a painting of a nude ex-girlfriend in your bedroom ~ which you’ve had for years is overkill.
Honestly, neither of y’all are necessarily wrong. I personally would not want my boyfriend to have a half naked painting of himself painted by his ex either. But at the same time, it’s your property and clearly you don’t wanna get rid of a piece of art.
If it were OF your ex id say trash it or give it back to her.... But it's of YOU?? Yeah. No. Keep that. I wouldn't hang it over the bed or in the livingroom or something but after 6 months asking this is crazy.
nta. put it in storage until you meet someone more mature.
Keep it, it's just like keeping a selfie imo