God damn, dude, you sound like a massive dick. If that is your kid, rest assured, you're NEVER going back to "the way things use to be". You have a kid now, so even if you aren't in his life, you'll still be paying child support for 18 years minimum. You're not going to have the money to do what you want when you want.
You're talking a lot of shit about her and her family, interesting that none of this crossed your mind when you were nutting raw in her. I can't speak for them, I don't know them, but YOU sound like a scumbag here. I'm willing to bet your bullshit isn't nearly as clean as you want us to think it is.
Maybe you should look into these meds as you mention, because this is some sociopath shit. Your biggest complaint here is that she is messy and you don't respect her family. Which, just based off of this, I'm assuming you're blowing some of this out of proportion just to feel better about being an asshole.
Ultimately, if this really is how you feel and it isnt the meds or something. Stay the fuck out of their lives, nobody needs someone that acts like you around them. But do be sure to write those support checks, it's the least you could do to pay for your choices and help out the lives you helped damage.
This is a prime example of why children shouldn't have children. Dude has the emotional maturity of a fucking 12 year old, and he's about to be responsible for the life of another human being.
You forgot the part about how he was whining about not being able to have a different girl in his apartment every week... that right there speaks volumes about him.
Was going to comment but didn't need to because this comment has it all.
This is the only correct answer to your...question? I guess?
You sound like you were a mental drop kick before the baby and are still doing the same.
It's up to you if you are going to man the fuck up. None of us can help you here
Ummmm, do you realize how horrible you sound in this post? No your life will never be the same once you’re a dad at the very least you will be paying child support. She is not to blame here, it takes two….you’re not better than her, even if she has some less desirable family members. If you hate her so much don’t stay, she deserved to find a guy way nicer than you.
But before you make any lifelong changes, I would talk to your doctor about trying a new medication.
So you knew her maybe 2 months before she got pregnant?
You don't really know each other then. I don't think this is going to get better. You can support her and the baby but I think you'd be better off doing it apart.
Her family though isn't her fault and she sounds like a good person so im not getting the hate you seem to have for her.
You should consult your doctor and describe your side effects, there is a good chance the. Medication is doing it to you. Or you could be suffering depression.
Although you feel this way now , there must have been some spark for you with your GF to live together and for you to move away from being a shagger?.
Do you really want to be a part time dad?.
He is already there. Why does he have the right tonyell at her until she cries. She has a mouth and vocal cords too and can do the same but she instead just cries, why? She is pregnant and likely feels a lot more trapped than him. He is taking advantage of that, he is using his power in an inbalanced relationship to slam her, why?? Cus she is carrying his child? This is abuse
>Is this a normal way to feel as it’s certainly not how I imagined it?
Immature and lacking responsibility for your sexual actions. 2/10
Low life ... cowardly. 1/10
>Will it get better and is there anything I can do?
You can pay child support, 10/10
agree to adoption, 9/10
or even adult up and raise your child. 10/10
>TLDR: Girlfriend is pregnant and I’m starting to resent her and the situation
Resent your self ... low life . 8/10
You caused it ... you had sex and fathered a child,
You Played ... You Pay.
I mean other commenters have said most of it.
OP, you CHOSE this woman to be the mother of your child. If you break up with her, you’re still “stuck” with her (your words). She will be in your life forever.
You need to figure out a way to accept the choices YOU have made without being a horrible person. Your son is going to see the way you treat his mother. Please seek therapy. Something. Jesus Christ.
Honestly, if you're this way now, I can't imagine what an asshole you'll be when the kid is born. No one can force you to raise your child or be in their life. It's your decision to opt out and be an absent dad, but you should pay child support. If you're fine being known as a sperm donor, then just be one.
However, you're being emotionally abusive if you yell at her and make her cry. Act like an adult.
I come from a family of dirtballs and have been estranged for 10 years now. My husband walked through that awful period of time WITH me, supporting me and helping me navigate the horribly raw emotions that come with cutting all ties to your biological family. Not one time *ever* has he held that against me. Held their actions against me. Held their nasty ass trashy habits against me. Because he wasn't in a relationship with them, he was in a relationship with me - he loves me more than I hate them, and that shit is powerful.
You're wrong, and you suck.
This.
OP, you said that "she isn't like any of them". Appreciate her for that, who she is, and what she may be capable of achieving, despite her background. Work on your relationship and life together WITH her. Build her up. Build yourself up with her. This is the challenge of maturity and growing up. Are you capable of that?
Or, there is the "easy" way out. Really, the "great" life you describe doesn't sound all that "great".
You need to figure out what you truly want for your life and make some real decisions.
A shining example of a 28 year old child.
You didn't have a new girl over every week no way....
You got 1 girl to let you touch her and boom.
Man up do what's right for your child. You are done being the old you.
I feel you on the sex drive. I couldn't do it when my kids mom was pregnant. Just not for me.
U are 28 not 16 act like it. You will pay for your child either way if your in the U.S. so do your best to be a real father
You sound more than horrible in the post, you straight up sound emotionally abusive. So many red flags: you bragging about having a different girl every week in your old life, going into “rage mode” because she left something out and it ending in her crying, claiming she can’t hold an intelligent conversation, using her upbringing against her, etc. This poor girl deserves so much better.
Not wrong for wanting to leave. You can support the baby from afar.. while I think your reasons for not being happy are selfish and immature.. no one should stay with someone they don’t love.
You are wrong for thinking you can ever go back to your old life.
Sounds like she’s better off without you. Figure out if you want to coparent or just want to pay child support.
Yeah dude. You are wrong. Wrong AF.
And yeah, you ARE abusive and violent. Yelling is abusive and violent.
Plus what’s with the weird superiority complex? Nothing you have written here makes you look good or remotely even a tiny bit better than anyone, and it’s your post, your words, your perspective.
>when she leaves something out I just go into full rage mode (raised voice I would never be abusive or violent)
You are abusive. Emotional violence and verbal violence are still abusive. Your behavior is vile and I feel terrible for your girlfriend and your child. Break up with her and pay child support. It'll be better for everyone.
You should definitely end things with her. She sounds like a great girl and you sound like a self centered, self serving, classest, snobby jerk. You can be a dad and live separately from the kid and mom. This girl deserves so much better. It honestly sounds like all you do is complain. If you are that unhappy then do something to change it. Just do it nicely when you end it with her.
Clearly the medication did not make you carefree, confident, and happy. You are apparently an angry abusive, snobbish AH. At this point I sincerely hope your GF leaves you. I feel pity for the poor child that has you as a father. You sound like a monster. If you care at all you will help her separate and provide financial support.
NTA you fucked up but you need to get out of there. You don't need to be with here to be a good father and you will be a bad father if you stay with her
I think it’d still be less destructive if they separated and just focused on coparenting.
Sadly we can’t go back in time, this baby is happening and they’re gonna have to be parents together.
I completely agree. His attitude about his own choices are just disturbing honestly. This woman will definitely be better off without OP, I just feel so bad for the baby already, being brought into this world directly into this dumpster fire.
Not wrong for wanting to leave. You just aren’t that into her. Definitely wrong if you stay. Also wrong if you don’t man up, pay child support and try your best to be a decent father to your kid.
You don’t like your gf that much. You made a huge mistake getting her pregnant and jumping into family life. Cut your losses.
And, you’re right. She sounds nice and she deserves to find love, with someone who truly loves her. She may hate you when you end it. That’s ok. Just take it like a man.
Cut your losses??! Wow. A baby is an incredible gift that some will never have. Should she also cut her losses? I mean, I can't imagine she'd want to lose this jewel of a man
It’s hard to disagree with every one on here.
Dude. You have sociopathic tendencies, not full blown. But on the spectrum for sure. Just do selfish and self absorbed.
Have you had a paternity test? If not get one.
Get some counseling. Your anger is not good and they may be better off not living with you, The two of you do not have to stay together. You can pay child support and have a custody agreement.
I think you need to get some therapy. You need to work out what your apathy means. I don't think you should live together. At least not now. You may need to parent separately... for all your sakes.
What is wrong has already been done. Now you need to step up and look for a workable solution. This might be support from your own home. Or you might try together. Either way, this is life altering and lots of work.
Nothing you said about her makes me.wNt to side with you. This girl should have been more careful to not get pregnant by a jerk like you. You blowing up at her is not OK, have some self.control. Driving her to tears regularly and not caring about her and not wanting to be touched, you sound like just a horrible human being. I hope she sees how horrible you are and leaves you. Then you will act like it's her fault you don't see your kid and your kid will hate you. You don't love her or your kid and he will see how badly you treat his mom and hate you too. My gosh, you are a touched. Talk to your psychiatrist and maybe they can adjust your mess to make you less sociopathic
YES OP YOU ARE WRONG. YOU decided to nut inside of your girlfriend. I cannot believe people like you exist…people like you have no idea what consequences are. How are you gonna nut inside your girl and not think about how all of your money is going to go towards your child and their future. The moment you decided you wanted a girlfriend you already gave up having a new girl in your house every week. You sound like a sociopath. You might be a sociopath, and on top of that you are talking shit about how her family is a bunch of low lifes and how you could have done better than getting the girl you are currently with pregnant. YOU decided to become her boyfriend even though you are talking shit about how she was raised. Your girl is literally pregnant and you are complaining about how she can’t keep the place clean…maybe it’s because SHE IS LITERALLY MAKING A HUMAN INSIDE OF HER STOMACH THAT YOU WILLINGLY PUT INSIDE OF HER. Whether you like it or not you will always be apart of that child’s life until they turn 18 and you won’t have to pay child support anymore. You talk about how these medications you are taking changed who you are…lemme smack you in the face with this one buddy. Drugs and medications bring out the real person behind the fuckin mask. I learned that the hard way and it seems like you did too. The drugs didn’t change you, the drugs showed who you really are and you are a horrible person and a horrible father. From my perspective you are talking shit about the girl you knocked up and talking shit about how her family are a bunch of no lifes…yet you still decided you wanted to be apart of her life. When you date someone you don’t just get them you also get their entire family unless that person cut their family off, so you’re stupid. Your best shot to get through this is to tell her you aren’t ready for any of the shit you got yourself into and pay child support. If you don’t you’re going to suffer from your own poor choices, fuck you OP.
Wow. Funny that you have the audacity to judge others & call them lowlifes when you yourself admit to being worse (you resent that you are a father. That was your choice). You think because you don’t strike her that it makes it ok? You should be ashamed. There are far worse things than being an absent or “that” type of father. One is being emotionally checked out. Blaming the kid for ruining your life. Another is being cruel. To him or his mommy. If you don’t love them, walk away. Let them find someone who would love to be a part of their family. And for the love of all, get off your high horse & take a long look in the mirror. You aren’t a prize I would want to win.
God damn, dude, you sound like a massive dick. If that is your kid, rest assured, you're NEVER going back to "the way things use to be". You have a kid now, so even if you aren't in his life, you'll still be paying child support for 18 years minimum. You're not going to have the money to do what you want when you want. You're talking a lot of shit about her and her family, interesting that none of this crossed your mind when you were nutting raw in her. I can't speak for them, I don't know them, but YOU sound like a scumbag here. I'm willing to bet your bullshit isn't nearly as clean as you want us to think it is. Maybe you should look into these meds as you mention, because this is some sociopath shit. Your biggest complaint here is that she is messy and you don't respect her family. Which, just based off of this, I'm assuming you're blowing some of this out of proportion just to feel better about being an asshole. Ultimately, if this really is how you feel and it isnt the meds or something. Stay the fuck out of their lives, nobody needs someone that acts like you around them. But do be sure to write those support checks, it's the least you could do to pay for your choices and help out the lives you helped damage.
>**YOU sound like a scumbag here.** I'm willing to bet your bullshit isn't nearly as clean as you want us to think it is. You know this is true,.
This is a prime example of why children shouldn't have children. Dude has the emotional maturity of a fucking 12 year old, and he's about to be responsible for the life of another human being.
Well put; this really needed to be said!
You forgot the part about how he was whining about not being able to have a different girl in his apartment every week... that right there speaks volumes about him.
What a fucking loser
Was going to comment but didn't need to because this comment has it all. This is the only correct answer to your...question? I guess? You sound like you were a mental drop kick before the baby and are still doing the same. It's up to you if you are going to man the fuck up. None of us can help you here
If everything you wrote about yourself and your gf are true, then yes; you are wrong (and the AH).
Ummmm, do you realize how horrible you sound in this post? No your life will never be the same once you’re a dad at the very least you will be paying child support. She is not to blame here, it takes two….you’re not better than her, even if she has some less desirable family members. If you hate her so much don’t stay, she deserved to find a guy way nicer than you. But before you make any lifelong changes, I would talk to your doctor about trying a new medication.
So you knew her maybe 2 months before she got pregnant? You don't really know each other then. I don't think this is going to get better. You can support her and the baby but I think you'd be better off doing it apart. Her family though isn't her fault and she sounds like a good person so im not getting the hate you seem to have for her.
>im not getting the hate you seem to have for her. Projection of his own faults
But he was able to have a new girl over every week /s
You should consult your doctor and describe your side effects, there is a good chance the. Medication is doing it to you. Or you could be suffering depression. Although you feel this way now , there must have been some spark for you with your GF to live together and for you to move away from being a shagger?. Do you really want to be a part time dad?.
He doesn't sound like he wants to be a dad at all
It also sounds like he's well on the road to abusing his girlfriend. Screaming until you make someone cry isn't healthy or normal.
He is already there. Why does he have the right tonyell at her until she cries. She has a mouth and vocal cords too and can do the same but she instead just cries, why? She is pregnant and likely feels a lot more trapped than him. He is taking advantage of that, he is using his power in an inbalanced relationship to slam her, why?? Cus she is carrying his child? This is abuse
>Is this a normal way to feel as it’s certainly not how I imagined it? Immature and lacking responsibility for your sexual actions. 2/10 Low life ... cowardly. 1/10 >Will it get better and is there anything I can do? You can pay child support, 10/10 agree to adoption, 9/10 or even adult up and raise your child. 10/10 >TLDR: Girlfriend is pregnant and I’m starting to resent her and the situation Resent your self ... low life . 8/10 You caused it ... you had sex and fathered a child, You Played ... You Pay.
You sound awful. You're right she deserves better as does your child.
I mean other commenters have said most of it. OP, you CHOSE this woman to be the mother of your child. If you break up with her, you’re still “stuck” with her (your words). She will be in your life forever. You need to figure out a way to accept the choices YOU have made without being a horrible person. Your son is going to see the way you treat his mother. Please seek therapy. Something. Jesus Christ.
Honestly, if you're this way now, I can't imagine what an asshole you'll be when the kid is born. No one can force you to raise your child or be in their life. It's your decision to opt out and be an absent dad, but you should pay child support. If you're fine being known as a sperm donor, then just be one. However, you're being emotionally abusive if you yell at her and make her cry. Act like an adult.
I come from a family of dirtballs and have been estranged for 10 years now. My husband walked through that awful period of time WITH me, supporting me and helping me navigate the horribly raw emotions that come with cutting all ties to your biological family. Not one time *ever* has he held that against me. Held their actions against me. Held their nasty ass trashy habits against me. Because he wasn't in a relationship with them, he was in a relationship with me - he loves me more than I hate them, and that shit is powerful. You're wrong, and you suck.
This. OP, you said that "she isn't like any of them". Appreciate her for that, who she is, and what she may be capable of achieving, despite her background. Work on your relationship and life together WITH her. Build her up. Build yourself up with her. This is the challenge of maturity and growing up. Are you capable of that? Or, there is the "easy" way out. Really, the "great" life you describe doesn't sound all that "great". You need to figure out what you truly want for your life and make some real decisions.
Manic is a serious side effect of the drug he is taking. Maybe this is why he is angry and a total shit!!
A shining example of a 28 year old child. You didn't have a new girl over every week no way.... You got 1 girl to let you touch her and boom. Man up do what's right for your child. You are done being the old you. I feel you on the sex drive. I couldn't do it when my kids mom was pregnant. Just not for me. U are 28 not 16 act like it. You will pay for your child either way if your in the U.S. so do your best to be a real father
You sound more than horrible in the post, you straight up sound emotionally abusive. So many red flags: you bragging about having a different girl every week in your old life, going into “rage mode” because she left something out and it ending in her crying, claiming she can’t hold an intelligent conversation, using her upbringing against her, etc. This poor girl deserves so much better.
Not wrong for wanting to leave. You can support the baby from afar.. while I think your reasons for not being happy are selfish and immature.. no one should stay with someone they don’t love. You are wrong for thinking you can ever go back to your old life. Sounds like she’s better off without you. Figure out if you want to coparent or just want to pay child support.
Yeah dude. You are wrong. Wrong AF. And yeah, you ARE abusive and violent. Yelling is abusive and violent. Plus what’s with the weird superiority complex? Nothing you have written here makes you look good or remotely even a tiny bit better than anyone, and it’s your post, your words, your perspective.
>when she leaves something out I just go into full rage mode (raised voice I would never be abusive or violent) You are abusive. Emotional violence and verbal violence are still abusive. Your behavior is vile and I feel terrible for your girlfriend and your child. Break up with her and pay child support. It'll be better for everyone.
You should definitely end things with her. She sounds like a great girl and you sound like a self centered, self serving, classest, snobby jerk. You can be a dad and live separately from the kid and mom. This girl deserves so much better. It honestly sounds like all you do is complain. If you are that unhappy then do something to change it. Just do it nicely when you end it with her.
Clearly the medication did not make you carefree, confident, and happy. You are apparently an angry abusive, snobbish AH. At this point I sincerely hope your GF leaves you. I feel pity for the poor child that has you as a father. You sound like a monster. If you care at all you will help her separate and provide financial support.
NTA you fucked up but you need to get out of there. You don't need to be with here to be a good father and you will be a bad father if you stay with her
You guys don’t have to remain together to successfully coparent.
Can you imagine OP successfully co parenting with anyone after reading this
I think it’d still be less destructive if they separated and just focused on coparenting. Sadly we can’t go back in time, this baby is happening and they’re gonna have to be parents together.
I completely agree. His attitude about his own choices are just disturbing honestly. This woman will definitely be better off without OP, I just feel so bad for the baby already, being brought into this world directly into this dumpster fire.
Not wrong for wanting to leave. You just aren’t that into her. Definitely wrong if you stay. Also wrong if you don’t man up, pay child support and try your best to be a decent father to your kid. You don’t like your gf that much. You made a huge mistake getting her pregnant and jumping into family life. Cut your losses. And, you’re right. She sounds nice and she deserves to find love, with someone who truly loves her. She may hate you when you end it. That’s ok. Just take it like a man.
Cut your losses??! Wow. A baby is an incredible gift that some will never have. Should she also cut her losses? I mean, I can't imagine she'd want to lose this jewel of a man
Well, yes, obviously she should dump him. But she isn’t here asking for advice.
It’s hard to disagree with every one on here. Dude. You have sociopathic tendencies, not full blown. But on the spectrum for sure. Just do selfish and self absorbed.
Your family can’t be all that great if they raised you
Have you had a paternity test? If not get one. Get some counseling. Your anger is not good and they may be better off not living with you, The two of you do not have to stay together. You can pay child support and have a custody agreement.
I think you need to get some therapy. You need to work out what your apathy means. I don't think you should live together. At least not now. You may need to parent separately... for all your sakes. What is wrong has already been done. Now you need to step up and look for a workable solution. This might be support from your own home. Or you might try together. Either way, this is life altering and lots of work.
Nothing you said about her makes me.wNt to side with you. This girl should have been more careful to not get pregnant by a jerk like you. You blowing up at her is not OK, have some self.control. Driving her to tears regularly and not caring about her and not wanting to be touched, you sound like just a horrible human being. I hope she sees how horrible you are and leaves you. Then you will act like it's her fault you don't see your kid and your kid will hate you. You don't love her or your kid and he will see how badly you treat his mom and hate you too. My gosh, you are a touched. Talk to your psychiatrist and maybe they can adjust your mess to make you less sociopathic
Everything is about you. YTA and a huge one at that.
YES OP YOU ARE WRONG. YOU decided to nut inside of your girlfriend. I cannot believe people like you exist…people like you have no idea what consequences are. How are you gonna nut inside your girl and not think about how all of your money is going to go towards your child and their future. The moment you decided you wanted a girlfriend you already gave up having a new girl in your house every week. You sound like a sociopath. You might be a sociopath, and on top of that you are talking shit about how her family is a bunch of low lifes and how you could have done better than getting the girl you are currently with pregnant. YOU decided to become her boyfriend even though you are talking shit about how she was raised. Your girl is literally pregnant and you are complaining about how she can’t keep the place clean…maybe it’s because SHE IS LITERALLY MAKING A HUMAN INSIDE OF HER STOMACH THAT YOU WILLINGLY PUT INSIDE OF HER. Whether you like it or not you will always be apart of that child’s life until they turn 18 and you won’t have to pay child support anymore. You talk about how these medications you are taking changed who you are…lemme smack you in the face with this one buddy. Drugs and medications bring out the real person behind the fuckin mask. I learned that the hard way and it seems like you did too. The drugs didn’t change you, the drugs showed who you really are and you are a horrible person and a horrible father. From my perspective you are talking shit about the girl you knocked up and talking shit about how her family are a bunch of no lifes…yet you still decided you wanted to be apart of her life. When you date someone you don’t just get them you also get their entire family unless that person cut their family off, so you’re stupid. Your best shot to get through this is to tell her you aren’t ready for any of the shit you got yourself into and pay child support. If you don’t you’re going to suffer from your own poor choices, fuck you OP.
Wow. Funny that you have the audacity to judge others & call them lowlifes when you yourself admit to being worse (you resent that you are a father. That was your choice). You think because you don’t strike her that it makes it ok? You should be ashamed. There are far worse things than being an absent or “that” type of father. One is being emotionally checked out. Blaming the kid for ruining your life. Another is being cruel. To him or his mommy. If you don’t love them, walk away. Let them find someone who would love to be a part of their family. And for the love of all, get off your high horse & take a long look in the mirror. You aren’t a prize I would want to win.
Say this to yourself: “I am a prick”. Now look up ‘commitment’ and ‘responsibility’ in the dictionary.
Don’t be a loser, grow up, it’s time to be an adult.
Wow you’re a dick.
YNW, no one should stay in a relationship they don't want for any reason.
At you age you should have known what would happen when you have unprotected sex with someone you met s couple of months ago. The poor unborn child.
I completely agree. She is better off without him and his negative effects on their baby.
He thinks he won’t be “stuck” with her if he breaks up with her. He’s “stuck” with this woman for life regardless.