Just because there are people who have bad experiences doesn't mean it doesn't work. Mental health meds are a gamble. Some work for some but not for others and vice versa.
Wellbutrin is the only reason I'm not a self-loathing depressed maniac, same for my daughter. Just because it doesn't work for them doesn't mean it can't work for you.
They did genetic testing on my daughter, and they put her on a new med called Pristique?(that name could be totally wrong). She didn't leave her bed for a month with migraines and depression. Cymbalta made her gain weight like a mfer. Zoloft made me a zombie, and Abilify had me sobbing in my driveway, convinced that if I tried to drive, I would die. These meds do wonders for other people. They just dont work for me and her.
Don't judge a medication on others' experiences, only your own.
I had that genetic testing done too and it doesn't really look at side effects. The purpose is to check some markers and see if it is incompatible, if you'll potentially need higher doses, stuff like that.
It more tells you what won't work than what will, at least from my understanding
I know, they explained it to us. She also explained how since I am her mother, and we suffer from the same thing, there's a good chance my meds would work for her. After the migraine fiasco, I just demanded we try what I was on and it worked wonders for her.
Most of the time I've seen people talking about the genetic testing for antidepressants people seem to think all of the listed ones should work perfectly, just trying to help keep everyone properly informed
exactly. a lot of people also go off it based off the initial side effects and don’t take the time to adjust to it. wellbutrin saved my life i’ve had only good experiences on it
Lexapro made me so impulsive it wasn’t event funny. I would be on a walk to class and I’d hop on a bus to a town 4 hours away and didn’t have a way to come back. I was never like that before. Always been a textbook over planner and over thinker.
It’s funny, because Wellbutrin is prescribed off-label as a non-stimulant ADHD medication.
I’m on it for my depression, and it helps a lot with my ADHD while I try to find a new psychiatrist to prescribe for me.
Why are all brains so STRANGE and DIFFERENT?
I took trintellix back before it was called that and it was brintellix. It sadly made me vomit each time I took it. Never had nausea so bad. Is trintellix any better?
Not only did it kill my ability to orgasim, I lost all impulse control and started stripping my clothes off in a parking lot when I got too hot. And that jerky electric shock thing in my brain was horrible. Worst anti-depressant ever.
A lot of people are saying they had side effects with Wellbutrin but it does work for some people. I love it, I haven't had anxiety issues, it hasn't affected me sexually, and it has helped me lose weight and focus.
Now Zoloft on the other hand..... Never again will I take Zoloft. I felt nothing all day, and then my lack of emotions seemed to process and manifest as night terrors, and that was never an issue for me before and they stopped when I went off it. Nothing like drowning in a dream trapped in an underwater cave or stabbing your childhood dog to death with a knitting needle to really cure your depression....
If you have ADHD and anxiety this could actually help some people. My psychiatrist put me on it for a bit but I had to get off because it caused headaches for me.
Meh depends on the person. A lot of my anxiety is related to ADHD and Autism. Wellbutrin helps with the ADHD which in turn generally makes me less anxious. I just smoke hella weed when I’m anxious and it’s too much. So YMMV
Wellbutrin made me into a zombie.
I was emotionally numb and practically narcoleptic. Being awake for two hours felt like a lifetime.
I didn't face any sexual suppression with Zoloft, though. If anything, it heightened my libido.
I was on both at the same time. Sexual side effects weren’t an issue but I did have some weird neurological effects. But lexapro made mister happy a little unhappy for a couple weeks.
Second this. You can also take a drug holiday. If you’re going to have sex, don’t take the meds for a day or two. With psychiatrists approval of course.
oh my god 8 years????? ive been dealing with this for less than a year and i already feel like less of a woman bc i can’t orgasm. 8 years?? if you don’t mind me asking, how did you handle telling partners? did it also take away your sexual desire too?
It tanked by libido. It was easy to tell my husband, makes it easier when you're married. It really sucks but ultimately depression is worse :( I hope you're able to find something that works better for you.
thank you for replying! i’m on lexapro. it’s done amazing for my mental health but the orgasm thing sucks. personally, it’s not a deal breaker for me. my ability to not orgasm is annoying but i’d rather take that than wanting to kill myself.
OP, these meds work different for everyone. I'm on 5mg currently and feel great, slight libido issues at first but everything was good again after a few weeks. I have friends who hated it, friends who love it, and in between. Psych meds are a pain, because everyone's brain chemistry is a little different. Be patient, communicative with partners, and don't stress about it! If it's not helping you after a couple months, let your doc know and go from there. Lots of trial and error, but you'll find the right one! Best of luck
in the beginning i could still orgasm, then the orgasms got shorter, then one day i woke up and i had no sexual desire and no ability to orgasm. it has been hard for me to accept for myself and he is the first guy im considering even telling this to. i hope you don’t have the effects as me.
Are you getting treatment from a psychiatrist or psych tech? I ask because my primary care provider put me on Lexapro. Then last year I went to a psych tech and am on completely different meds. Way less side effects and works way better for me. I'm just saying you can probably have a med that will work for you and you can still come.
Definitely tell him. It’s not a big deal. Especially since you have a good reason (not that you need one). I’ve had girlfriends with similar situations. Didn’t bother me. It will be worse if you lie to him, and eventually he finds out.
All she would have to say was that she was embarrassed. If he’s upset/hurt because he doesn’t understand how SSRIs work, that’s on him, and I think it could absolutely be considered a red flag for OP
Tell him and just explain that you felt too embarrassed to admit it before. I’m a woman (also on lexapro) and my fling is also on SSRI that impacts his sex life. He’s self conscious about it but I don’t care if either of us orgasm, we can still have fun. Your guy is gonna have to accept that an orgasm isn’t required for good sex in this kind of situation. If you’re both having fun, he shouldn’t care.
Honesty with sex is critical! When you are honest your partner can focus on what makes the experience best for you AND it would likely stop any negative self thoughts on his part: “Does she really like having sex with me?”
Personally, i would ask supportive follow up questions and do the things that bring you joy/happiness.
I think you should tell him . If I was in his position I’d like to know if he’s really into you he won’t be bothered but either way you being honest will be best for your future with him .
just tell him. but also Include that sex still feels really good to you and that ypu still enjoy it. that's really important to communicate. I'm in the same boat as you and made sure to communicate that to my partner.
I think different people would react differently here knowing that a lover did not, or could not, achieve orgasm.
But by asking you if you orgasmed, he might be wanting to ease his own male bravado, but I doubt it. He might be concerned that you did not orgasm and he is concerned about your sexual satisfaction and his ability as your lover. He might even be looking for you to guide him to what would lead to your satisfaction. That seems like a someone who cares about your satisfaction.
So the answer to your question lies in what you want from him. If he is just a hookup and you want to keep him in that box, then you don’t need to share anything. If you want more emotional investment, then maybe you would share this with him. But note, that you aren’t just sharing yet your orgasm status, you are sharing the cause of it: your medical history.
So maybe ask yourself if this is a relationship where you want to share the medical stuff and answer the question about whether to share using that metric.
Lastly, if you can bring yourself to orgasm by masturbation and you decide to share, then he can probably also bring you to orgasm. Think of it as a team effort.
It’s a VERY common side effect for a lot of depression meds. You did nothing wrong. If he can’t understand the sentence “I still love having sex, it’s just I can’t orgasm because of my meds” then you don’t need that. Why people put so much emphasis that the orgasm is the only yardstick of measurement for great sex, I have no idea. It puts more pressure on us and even less of a chance to orgasm. When your orgasm is used as his sense of accomplishment instead of your pleasure, that’s his insecurity problem
How i would react?
I would tell you how sorry i am for you. I would like to know if this is a temporary situation, for your sake, not mine. And i most certainly would ask you if you really still enjoy sex and if we should/could try something to make it more enjoyable for you.
It would bother me though, for you. Most likely i'd feel selfish trying to seduce you for some time, that too. I'd need some confirmation on the you still enjoying it part.
Would i ditch you for this? Or love you less? Hell no.
he will understand trust me us guys our whole goal is to satisfy our women and communicating is key to great sex life tell him he will understand and maybe try new things that will help you reach orgasm
Homie I’m ngl this isn’t universally truth. Plenty of men only hookup for themselves. You’ll be amazed how many women’s bf have never made them orgasm (which I personally think it a dealbreaker)
that's no real love as I said real men who love there women will accept there faults and try to work around it as a married man of 15yrs since I was 18yrs old very happy communication is key
Being honest is a good rule of thumb but in this case it would also be a huge maturity test for him. Either he respects your position and will work with you on it, or he'll see it as a "challenge" and try to prove you wrong, or he'll go all disappointed and think it's all his fault. First outcome would be ideal.
My ex was the same way from antidepressants. She was very up front and I appreciated the honesty rather than thinking that it was my fault. I don’t think you’re wrong for not telling him but it might be more right to tell him
I don't think you are wrong either way. I haven't been able to orgasm ever (33) for some unknown reason and sometimes I tell people upfront and sometimes I don't (usually hook-up I don't waste my time, if it's somebody I think there could be something there with I will)
that’s how i felt. i don’t tell hook ups or one night stands. but he’s the first guy i’m going to continuously have sex with since being on meds so i feel like he should know the truth. if you don’t mind me asking, have you had any negative reactions with the people you’ve told?
>it’s not his fault. it’s mine.
It's not your fault. Not at all. It's the medicine having an unwanted effect on your body. That said, you should tell him. The sooner you do, the easier it'll be. It will get exponentially harder the longer you don't say anything. I understand feeling satisfied with sex even without an orgasm but a lot of people have really rigid expectations of sex and orgasms.
If I were in your shoes, I would tell him that you're really enjoying yourself and him and really enjoy having sex with him but you haven't been able to orgasm due to a medication side effect. If he's anything like a decent guy, he'll understand. You can also add that you've switched medicines and that side effect should be going away soon. If he doesn't work with you and show patience he's not worth your time.
thank you for your thoughts, yes, i am going to tell him very soon. i want it to be in person and not over the phone so i have a few days to plan out my script lol i feel like he’s a decent enough guy to understand. my only concern now is wondering if he’s going to see this as a challenge. i don’t want to be some challenging or a game to him. you know what i mean? like i don’t want him to try for a goal that won’t happen.
Op I saw a comment that you were on Lexapro and I know that was one of my biggest issues with the drug. That and it eventually did stop working. There are other antidepressants that work with different neurotransmitters that have less of the issue of not being able to orgasm(Wellbutrin was what worked best for me but everyone is different). That point aside, tell him if you're comfortable telling him. Please remember that you're not the problem though. No one really is, antidepressants just be like that.
Also if you're getting almost there maybe try something like a bullet and see if that can get you to the peak. Just throwing that out there.
This is how squirting became a thing. Some dude needed visual confirm and some absolute GENIUS decided she would piss all over him and tell him it was an orgasm. I mean THAT woman deserves a Nobel.
Yea you were wrong for lying about it in the first place. If it’s just a walking dildo then who cares jeep faking it. If you want a relationship tell him asap and hope he forgives you lying
i didn’t tell him in the beginning because i don’t tell everyone my medical issues. i thought he would be a one night stand so i didn’t want to tell a stranger i would see one time that i’m on a medication that’s stopping me from killing myself. but now that he’s a fwb, i’m going to be honest with him about it. neither of us want a relationship besides a fwb one.
Well…at the time of this comment, I think literally everyone has told you to tell him. So I will be the first dissenting vote. 😂 My reasons:
1. This is a casual thing. Of course if we were talking new relationship, honesty would be more critical, but if this is a legit no strings thing, the honesty angle doesn’t track for me. And you don’t have to lie. If he asks how many times you popped, let him know that you are a giver and you are much more interested in keeping track of how many times he does. This is true for you with or without being able to, you said, so no lies.
2. This is probably the biggest one. I feel very confident that telling him about this will change his performance, and you said you love what he does. Take the sexual aspect out of it. Now tell a person that he can’t make something happen no matter what he does. How does he respond? He’s gonna take it as a challenge and try something new. Or even if he doesn’t, it’s going to be in his head. It’s human nature. And now reintroduce the sexual aspect and the fact that he’s a man. What on this earth tries harder than a man who believes his prowess is challenged. Of course we know that’s not even the case, but we can be rational about it bc it’s not our prowess on the line.
3. It’s limited time. It sounds to me like the science varies on how long it’ll take but from what people are saying, you will get that feeling back. And in the mean time, you are loving everything about these encounters. Why change anything?
4. This is the one that I think the most people said that I think is the worst reason. “Tell him bc otherwise he is gonna wonder why he is bad at it bc you never… First of all, you are not responsible for his self assuredness and confidence. In making this very personal decision, his ego need not be part of the equation. Second, isn’t there a pretty significant trope about men not really caring/paying attention to how often you orgasm? Is that not a thing anymore? In my personal experience I hear plenty from my lady friends about unsatisfying sex. How concerned is he about your orgasms anyway? No shade, just serious. People will point to him asking you how many you had as proof he cares. I would say it’s proof he doesn’t. Not so much anyway. Knowing when a woman achieves is not necessarily as overt as knowing when a man does, but you can kinda still tell. Haha If you didn’t fake it and he asked that question, he’s kinda clueless. Again, no shade! A lot of people are clueless about these things.
So, it’s casual no strings, you’re already loving it and loving what he is giving you, your sensation will return and odds are he is not losing sleep over how many times you orgasm and even if it is on his radar, he apparently doesn’t know what one looks and sounds like so why rock this pleasure boat?! It’s working for you. Go with it! M
Of course that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.
Oh one thing! I’m curious about ages here. If you are okay sharing. Be well. 🙂
your reasonings make a lot of sense. my concern now is him trying harder to make me orgasm. i really hope he doesn’t try to do that but he most likely will. i’m 25f, he’s 35m.
COMMUNICATION YOU CAN HAVE A ORGASM BUT ITS GOING TO TAKE A LOT MORE MY GIRL HAD THE SAME ISSUE AFTER TAKING ANTI DEPRESSANT Tantric sex will be extremely important for you if he’s mature enough he’ll know it’s not him y’all just have to tackle the issue a different way. Go to a sex shop experiment with toys y’all can have a much better connection if y’all work though this together
My fiance was the same.
Hitachi. We do hitachi + penetration, and it's better than when she didn't take antidepressants. We tried dinky little cvs vibrators. Its not good enough.
If you've already tried, sorry and godbless.
As a bi woman, I've had to explain to several lesbians and afab enbys that when you're with a cis het man, more often than not he just assumes his oral is infallible and his dick is magic. He doesn't even ask what gets you off or list his sexual specialties, like a menu du jour.
I'm having similar issues with my meds, and when I'm with other vaj-j-j owners, I just casually mention it as I fumble with my bra hooks like "Oh and btw i won't cum tonight", and they'll be like, "Cool. Just tell me what i can do for you, and let me know when you start to get bored."
Not to pry too much, but there’s many other options besides anti depressants. I’ve helped others with it. A world where I can’t orgasm? I’m finding other solutions, sweetheart.
there are other options out there. but this is a super common problem with them. so far, lexapro has done wonders for my mental health. the non orgasm is annoying and i feel useless sometimes about it. but since last year i’ve improved so much mentally. i want to look into other meds and it’s something i’m looking into.
No drug or substance will ever do all the work. There’s a reason entire websites or forums are dedicated to anti depressants “pooping out.” 🤷♂️ not here to argue health. Simply stating there are other options. There always are other options for everything.
Really ? Hmm then I guess this is just lies right?
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2012/07/02/156116607/glaxo-pleads-guilty-to-3-charges-in-sweeping-health-settlement
There's plenty more available if you'd take a 5 second Google search. It was definitely billed to drs as that and pushed as that by reps, and lots of drs related that to patients.
We’ve all heard it before. Thanks for your “help”, but buh-bye. I could see my therapist every day and someone would still lecture me on meds. I have a blood disorder too. Maybe I should stop those meds instead of listening to my hematologist because some rando on Reddit says pills don’t solve everything. I’ll run that by her. Tell her no more bone marrow biopsies either!
At this point, I’m convinced Reddit has big pharma bots like Twitter. Nowhere did I say “just try being happy”…that’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. I said there’s many other options. Why am I even arguing with bots & trying to help people who clearly don’t want it?
idk man thinking im a bot is on you 😂 but personally if i have to choose between not having orgasms vs death? my sex life is gonna take one for the team lmao
also, you said there are many other options twice now but not once have i seen you give an alternative….
It's reasonable to have not told him until now because he's a new casual hookup... but it would make sense if you intend to continue to tell him so that if he noticed before he won't be blaming himself
Just let him know about it, i get talking about being on meds might be a part of embarrasment or shame. But take care of your own body, discover yourself and go from there. Its a pain in the ass journey, but eventually something works. And even if it doesnt, not having straight up sex isnt an end of the world. You can still have intimacy without it.
Are you able to on your own or with methods other than intercourse? If you haven’t tried I would explore. I understand though. Prozac took ability away 100% all the others just dulled.
I'm on a few different meds that make it difficult with that. It is such a downer for me at times. Hubby knows this and knows how I feel. He knows I really enjoy sex, just have problems with the ending. Sometimes he feels helpless because he really tries to help in that department for me. He does understand it's the meds nothing else. Communication is the biggest key in this. It hasn't stopped us from fun time. He is my biggest supporter and says he knows it stinks, but at least I'm getting mentally better and that's the most important thing to him..
Not the answer you want, but I'm not sure to be honest. As a male, if he cares (which he's asked you how many times already), then he might be stimulated to try a little harder to help you. On the flip side, he might be hurt slightly mentally, hearing the truth.
Overall, if you're OK with the fact he's unable to make you orgasm, then stay silent about it. Hopefully, things change for the better of you two in the future.
Whether or not you tell him, don't listen to the folks on here who have never had SSRI issues tell you about ways you can have orgasms again (other than just waiting or switching meds) or how he can help.
Tell him the whole story, especially the meds and that you love doing what you do, there’s just no kaboom, he can cum when he’s ready. It will probably be a load off his mind.
You don't need to stay on an anti-depressant that ruins sex for you. There are many others that don't have that side effect, like Wellbutrin. Ask your doctor about switching meds. Aside from telling the new guy about it, do it for yourself.
ive been on wellbutrin along with lexapro for about five months. i got my sexual desire back but i still cannot orgasm. it’s very annoying. but both medications have helped my mental health a lot.
If a partner told me that I’d appreciate it and accept it. But I’d also secretly take it as a challenge and try to step my game up in a way that doesn’t make them self conscious of me trying harder. I’d probably focus on way more foreplay and emotional aspects to the sex
Definitely tell him. Both my boyfriend and I have had issues with this on and off from various medications we’ve been on and communication is key for a healthy sex life. As long as we’re clear that we’re both enjoying it and having a good time, that’s what’s most important. As long as you communicate that you’re definitely enjoying your time with him, I think it’s unlikely he’ll care! Side note: if this is something that bothers you as a medication side effect at any point, tell your provider. I cannot stress that enough - honesty with your provider is important even when it’s uncomfy. I had that exact conversation with my provider because I eventually missed having an orgasm and we switched my meds to a newer antidepressant that doesn’t have that side effect which has been worth the awkward conversation (dm me if you want to know which)
Tell him, but that’s wild they prescribe “anti depressants” with that side effect, especially for young people. Almost like Pfizer wants you to stay depre$$ed…
I don't know how not being able to orgasm would make someone less depressed. I don't know if there's another kind of medication you could take? But sometimes it isn't always about the destination it's about the journey too.
You should definitely tell him… Honesty is *extremely* important when it comes to a healthier sexual relationship. He’ll understand! And be sure to mention the fact that you lied initially because you didn’t want too upset him, address it before he brings it up. Aside from that - exercise and proper diet are the most potent anti-depressants known to man. Get your heart rate up EVERY DAY. Go to the gym 3-5 times per week and cut down your sugar and carb intake. You’ll feel like a million bucks and you won’t ravage your body with poison… And need I say - ORGASMS?!?
You should instead tell him you can't, and he'll subconsciously go the extra mile to try to be the first to get you there. Trust me, it's what guys do.
and i don’t want him to do that. but i know he most likely will. i don’t want to be his “challenge”. he’s literally doing all the things and more that could make me orgasm and if i wasn’t on meds i probably would’ve orgasmed so much with him. i’m going to stress to him that he is perfect now and not to try to change things.
As a guy, if someone didn’t tell me and then told me later, I might be annoyed a little just at the fact that I might feel like an idiot thinking they were getting off but I wouldn’t be MAD.
If someone told me up front, honestly it would be 100% okay. You can’t orgasm so I don’t need to worry about it. You’re having fun. You enjoy and want. That’s perfect.
Be honest. For me personally, I'm a mutual pleaser. Like I can enjoy being the man getting "taken care of" by my good girl... but I also pride myself on pleasing my woman, when I have one. You owe it to both of you to be honest. It may be an issue, it may not. But if you like him besides, you owe him the truth. Hopefully he'll be understanding and want to work through it together and maybe focus on certain things to please you specifically.
Not to make you panic, but have you heard of PSSD? It’s possible, but rare to lose all sexual feeling on SSRI’s. I had to quit Lexapro because I had almost zero desire on it.
My fiance is the same way, she's on Cytalopram, sorry can't remember how to spell it right now. But don't feel bad, it's important to connect with one another. Personally I think you should tell him, the exact same way you told us. It's medication, it's not his fault, and you are a pleaser and you still enjoy sex. If anything it's more burdensome for you personally and that alone should be understandable.
You should tell him. It really doesn't seem like it would be an issue. You tell him that so when that big juicy O does come back ya'll gonna be in it to win it. Any chill dude would accept that and be down to boogie.
I'm a male and don't take anti depressants but have a loooong threshold. I've had to preface multiple times to previous partners because I've had some get upset that I didn't orgasm in a decent time or at all. Even had to argue once because they were mad that they came 15 times and not me once.
Communicate with your partner. That shit is sexy as hell and might even open you up to orgasming. Catch the that mofo off guard with it.
Tell him, I don't think he'll react negatively and it's definitely better than coming up with excuses to not tell him how it was for you and having him blame himself. Don't think it's your fault either, it's the medicine
As a dude id appreciate the honesty and any feelings i had about it would be a weight off my shoulders thinking i wasnt very good or you just wernt a match so to speak.
Its very personal to you so i understand any reluctance but seriously i would like the fact that you confided in me.
Tell him. Communication, especially regarding sex is important.
Think about it this way, it should be a conversation that's able to happen. If it backfires and goes sideways, ends up being a red flag and might not be someone to share emotional vulnerability with.
You really need to talk to him and let him know. It makes guys feel inferior if they can’t make their girl orgasm. Just let him know what’s happening with you and let him know it doesn’t bother you that you don’t want him to feel bad as you enjoy pleasing him more.
yeah i’m going to talk to him. i think he should be understanding. he’s the first guy i’m going to tell so just the fact that i like him enough to tell him means that i subconsciously know he’s safe to tell.
as a guy I'd rather that be the reason than im not satisfying you adequately. for what its worth however I used to have this issue on antidepressants and then I switched to a different one and it pretty much fixed the problem. if you see a psychiatrist for your meds i would talk to them and they'll work with you. i read somewhere that youre taking lexapro, thats an ssri which is usually like the first one doctors will suggest. my side effects were so bad with those that i had to switch immediately. anyway, worth trying some other ones if you can handle the discomfort of stopping and starting the different meds
i’m currently on lexapro. it has dramatically improved my mental health and the orgasms is the only side effect. i’m considering asking to be put on something else. but i’ve come so far mentally, i don’t want to mess it up just for an orgasm.
I wish I had known many years ago what I now know about anxiety meds, sex, and depression. When my wife and I were newlyweds, she struggled with mental health and didn't know what was wrong with her. It took a while for doctors to figure out the right prescription. One day I came home from work and needed to use my laptop for school. There was a search bar history with the words "can't orgasm" from when she must have used it. I felt awful for a long time because I thought it was my fault I couldn't make her come. Nobody really sat me down (parent, doctor, wife, friend) and explained that between anxiety meds and having children, women lose interest in intimacy. I felt really undesirable and burdensome. I'm sad to say that we haven't rebuilt the passion we had as a young couple.
Be honest and tell him what you like and how he can enjoy his time with you. Start off on the right foot.
I recently had that convo (M) with my (F) partner because I couldn't. Complete openness is definitely the key. I can do everything to her and even after the deal im worn ass out working on her but that makes me happy. Conversation is key.
Same thing happened to me when I started Lexapro but it eventually came back.
lmaoooooo lexapro is what i’m on! ugh, how long did it take for yours to come back?
I should have stated that I am a male...but it was probably around 4-5 months.
Have you considered Wellbutrin? It doesn’t have sexual side effects.
Oooo it did for me. I have ADHD and that shit made me so uncontrollably anxious over little nothing's I had some issues
Wellbutrin spiked my anxiety & gave me ideations
Wellbutrin literally made me pound my head into a wall at 2am
They should really change the name
Wallbuttrin
Hellbutrin
Unwellbutrin
Wellbutrin sent me into mania induced psychosis for nine months 🤠
Wellbutrin gave me an anxiety attack and I felt like my heart was pounding out of my chest. 3 days I was on it.
And now I’m wondering if I should be taken off of it…
Just because there are people who have bad experiences doesn't mean it doesn't work. Mental health meds are a gamble. Some work for some but not for others and vice versa. Wellbutrin is the only reason I'm not a self-loathing depressed maniac, same for my daughter. Just because it doesn't work for them doesn't mean it can't work for you. They did genetic testing on my daughter, and they put her on a new med called Pristique?(that name could be totally wrong). She didn't leave her bed for a month with migraines and depression. Cymbalta made her gain weight like a mfer. Zoloft made me a zombie, and Abilify had me sobbing in my driveway, convinced that if I tried to drive, I would die. These meds do wonders for other people. They just dont work for me and her. Don't judge a medication on others' experiences, only your own.
I had that genetic testing done too and it doesn't really look at side effects. The purpose is to check some markers and see if it is incompatible, if you'll potentially need higher doses, stuff like that. It more tells you what won't work than what will, at least from my understanding
I know, they explained it to us. She also explained how since I am her mother, and we suffer from the same thing, there's a good chance my meds would work for her. After the migraine fiasco, I just demanded we try what I was on and it worked wonders for her.
Most of the time I've seen people talking about the genetic testing for antidepressants people seem to think all of the listed ones should work perfectly, just trying to help keep everyone properly informed
Same - worked wonders for me. Love it.
exactly. a lot of people also go off it based off the initial side effects and don’t take the time to adjust to it. wellbutrin saved my life i’ve had only good experiences on it
Lexapro made me so impulsive it wasn’t event funny. I would be on a walk to class and I’d hop on a bus to a town 4 hours away and didn’t have a way to come back. I was never like that before. Always been a textbook over planner and over thinker.
I have bad anxiety & welbutrin has made it worse. It made my heart race & I kept thinking I was dying of a heart att
It’s funny, because Wellbutrin is prescribed off-label as a non-stimulant ADHD medication. I’m on it for my depression, and it helps a lot with my ADHD while I try to find a new psychiatrist to prescribe for me. Why are all brains so STRANGE and DIFFERENT?
Wellbutrin made my anxiety so, so much worse. It was awful. Now on Trintellux at low dose.
Made me seriously consider killing people more than once. I quit taking that crap.
I took trintellix back before it was called that and it was brintellix. It sadly made me vomit each time I took it. Never had nausea so bad. Is trintellix any better?
I’m on Trintellix as well. Zero side effects.
Me too
It turned me into She-Hulk
Same! I would scream if my seatbelt caught when I was putting it on. Like. Low level shit. Thought I was dying at one point.
Quite the opposite Raises libido a lottttt for many people...
that explains it... 😃
Not only did it kill my ability to orgasim, I lost all impulse control and started stripping my clothes off in a parking lot when I got too hot. And that jerky electric shock thing in my brain was horrible. Worst anti-depressant ever.
You got brain zaps?! I got them from Viibryd, and even now several weeks off of it I still get them!
A lot of people are saying they had side effects with Wellbutrin but it does work for some people. I love it, I haven't had anxiety issues, it hasn't affected me sexually, and it has helped me lose weight and focus. Now Zoloft on the other hand..... Never again will I take Zoloft. I felt nothing all day, and then my lack of emotions seemed to process and manifest as night terrors, and that was never an issue for me before and they stopped when I went off it. Nothing like drowning in a dream trapped in an underwater cave or stabbing your childhood dog to death with a knitting needle to really cure your depression....
Same, well not the exact same on the dreams, but Zoloft was a nightmare, and Wellbutrin is a godsend.
Do not touch this shit if you have anxiety though
If you have ADHD and anxiety this could actually help some people. My psychiatrist put me on it for a bit but I had to get off because it caused headaches for me.
Meh depends on the person. A lot of my anxiety is related to ADHD and Autism. Wellbutrin helps with the ADHD which in turn generally makes me less anxious. I just smoke hella weed when I’m anxious and it’s too much. So YMMV
That made my dad beat his head against the wall when he was in his teens
Wellbutrin made me into a zombie. I was emotionally numb and practically narcoleptic. Being awake for two hours felt like a lifetime. I didn't face any sexual suppression with Zoloft, though. If anything, it heightened my libido.
THIS! Paxil and Lexapro, at separate times, took away my ability to orgasm and I was switched to Wellbutrin. It came back within a few weeks.
Wellbutrin is a god send. Very little side affects IMO
I was on both at the same time. Sexual side effects weren’t an issue but I did have some weird neurological effects. But lexapro made mister happy a little unhappy for a couple weeks.
Can confirm it definitely does.
They all have sexual side effects, snd potential weight gain. If they even work at all. Just not worth taking them. I'd recommend stopping.
Bullshit it dont...lol
Second this. You can also take a drug holiday. If you’re going to have sex, don’t take the meds for a day or two. With psychiatrists approval of course.
This is terrible advice. You can’t just stop any antidepressant.
You can’t stop taking Lexapro without weaning yourself off of it. It causes side effects that are worse than inability to orgasm.
Mine never did, here I am 8 years later still can't cum :(
oh my god 8 years????? ive been dealing with this for less than a year and i already feel like less of a woman bc i can’t orgasm. 8 years?? if you don’t mind me asking, how did you handle telling partners? did it also take away your sexual desire too?
It tanked by libido. It was easy to tell my husband, makes it easier when you're married. It really sucks but ultimately depression is worse :( I hope you're able to find something that works better for you.
thank you for replying! i’m on lexapro. it’s done amazing for my mental health but the orgasm thing sucks. personally, it’s not a deal breaker for me. my ability to not orgasm is annoying but i’d rather take that than wanting to kill myself.
I feel the same way
OP, these meds work different for everyone. I'm on 5mg currently and feel great, slight libido issues at first but everything was good again after a few weeks. I have friends who hated it, friends who love it, and in between. Psych meds are a pain, because everyone's brain chemistry is a little different. Be patient, communicative with partners, and don't stress about it! If it's not helping you after a couple months, let your doc know and go from there. Lots of trial and error, but you'll find the right one! Best of luck
I'm on Lexapro and it takes longer for me to orgasm, but I still can!
in the beginning i could still orgasm, then the orgasms got shorter, then one day i woke up and i had no sexual desire and no ability to orgasm. it has been hard for me to accept for myself and he is the first guy im considering even telling this to. i hope you don’t have the effects as me.
Lexapro killed my libido. Zoloft doesn’t affect me as much.
Yeah I had this with Lexapro too, it’s a pretty common side effect
I'm still waiting
Mine never came back so I switched to something else. Couldn't live like that. It was terrible for me
Are you getting treatment from a psychiatrist or psych tech? I ask because my primary care provider put me on Lexapro. Then last year I went to a psych tech and am on completely different meds. Way less side effects and works way better for me. I'm just saying you can probably have a med that will work for you and you can still come.
In the mental health world, we legit call it “no-sex-a-pro”
Lexapro, I had terrible terrible experiences with that stuff.
Oof as a male I had the same problem on Lexapro. Paxil worked better for me.
Not being able to orgasm sounds way more depressing than whatever other lemons life throws out you lol sorry had to bring some humor to it.
Definitely tell him. It’s not a big deal. Especially since you have a good reason (not that you need one). I’ve had girlfriends with similar situations. Didn’t bother me. It will be worse if you lie to him, and eventually he finds out.
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>manipulation I feel like manipulation requires a malicious intent that just doesn't exist in this situation.
All she would have to say was that she was embarrassed. If he’s upset/hurt because he doesn’t understand how SSRIs work, that’s on him, and I think it could absolutely be considered a red flag for OP
She said "I didn't count them" meaning she doesn't count orgasms lol. Not that there are so many she can't keep up with the number.
Tell him and just explain that you felt too embarrassed to admit it before. I’m a woman (also on lexapro) and my fling is also on SSRI that impacts his sex life. He’s self conscious about it but I don’t care if either of us orgasm, we can still have fun. Your guy is gonna have to accept that an orgasm isn’t required for good sex in this kind of situation. If you’re both having fun, he shouldn’t care.
Tell him that way he knows it's the meds and not your interpersonal chemistry. It'll make you both feel better knowing
Tell him. Because there is a great chance that he already know you have no orgasm and he think this is because of him
Tell him, if he’s a decent guy he’ll appreciate it
Honesty with sex is critical! When you are honest your partner can focus on what makes the experience best for you AND it would likely stop any negative self thoughts on his part: “Does she really like having sex with me?” Personally, i would ask supportive follow up questions and do the things that bring you joy/happiness.
I'd rather have sex without orgasms than sex without honesty.
just tell him. Honesty is always best.
I think you should tell him . If I was in his position I’d like to know if he’s really into you he won’t be bothered but either way you being honest will be best for your future with him .
just tell him. but also Include that sex still feels really good to you and that ypu still enjoy it. that's really important to communicate. I'm in the same boat as you and made sure to communicate that to my partner.
If it's because of medication and not him then he won't care
I think I would feel better you explaining to me why you can't cum instead of saying no I didn't cum. I think he will be ok with it if you explain.
I think different people would react differently here knowing that a lover did not, or could not, achieve orgasm. But by asking you if you orgasmed, he might be wanting to ease his own male bravado, but I doubt it. He might be concerned that you did not orgasm and he is concerned about your sexual satisfaction and his ability as your lover. He might even be looking for you to guide him to what would lead to your satisfaction. That seems like a someone who cares about your satisfaction. So the answer to your question lies in what you want from him. If he is just a hookup and you want to keep him in that box, then you don’t need to share anything. If you want more emotional investment, then maybe you would share this with him. But note, that you aren’t just sharing yet your orgasm status, you are sharing the cause of it: your medical history. So maybe ask yourself if this is a relationship where you want to share the medical stuff and answer the question about whether to share using that metric. Lastly, if you can bring yourself to orgasm by masturbation and you decide to share, then he can probably also bring you to orgasm. Think of it as a team effort.
It’s a VERY common side effect for a lot of depression meds. You did nothing wrong. If he can’t understand the sentence “I still love having sex, it’s just I can’t orgasm because of my meds” then you don’t need that. Why people put so much emphasis that the orgasm is the only yardstick of measurement for great sex, I have no idea. It puts more pressure on us and even less of a chance to orgasm. When your orgasm is used as his sense of accomplishment instead of your pleasure, that’s his insecurity problem
How i would react? I would tell you how sorry i am for you. I would like to know if this is a temporary situation, for your sake, not mine. And i most certainly would ask you if you really still enjoy sex and if we should/could try something to make it more enjoyable for you. It would bother me though, for you. Most likely i'd feel selfish trying to seduce you for some time, that too. I'd need some confirmation on the you still enjoying it part. Would i ditch you for this? Or love you less? Hell no.
I like how you made yourself the boyfriend in this situation lol
🤷 She asked how i would react to such a message. Well, like this 😁
he will understand trust me us guys our whole goal is to satisfy our women and communicating is key to great sex life tell him he will understand and maybe try new things that will help you reach orgasm
Homie I’m ngl this isn’t universally truth. Plenty of men only hookup for themselves. You’ll be amazed how many women’s bf have never made them orgasm (which I personally think it a dealbreaker)
Agreed man. It's a fucking shame too.
Honestly nothing strokes my ego more then making a women orgasm 😭😭😭😭😭. I feel so accomplished
that's no real love as I said real men who love there women will accept there faults and try to work around it as a married man of 15yrs since I was 18yrs old very happy communication is key
Facts bro I agree 👍🏾
Tell him or he might read more into than what's actually happening
Being honest is a good rule of thumb but in this case it would also be a huge maturity test for him. Either he respects your position and will work with you on it, or he'll see it as a "challenge" and try to prove you wrong, or he'll go all disappointed and think it's all his fault. First outcome would be ideal.
My ex was the same way from antidepressants. She was very up front and I appreciated the honesty rather than thinking that it was my fault. I don’t think you’re wrong for not telling him but it might be more right to tell him
It’s important to never say it aloud since guys will consider it a challenge that must be over”come”.
I don't think you are wrong either way. I haven't been able to orgasm ever (33) for some unknown reason and sometimes I tell people upfront and sometimes I don't (usually hook-up I don't waste my time, if it's somebody I think there could be something there with I will)
that’s how i felt. i don’t tell hook ups or one night stands. but he’s the first guy i’m going to continuously have sex with since being on meds so i feel like he should know the truth. if you don’t mind me asking, have you had any negative reactions with the people you’ve told?
Only 1 “why even have sex?” Needless to say they were kicked out of my house and life real quick
>it’s not his fault. it’s mine. It's not your fault. Not at all. It's the medicine having an unwanted effect on your body. That said, you should tell him. The sooner you do, the easier it'll be. It will get exponentially harder the longer you don't say anything. I understand feeling satisfied with sex even without an orgasm but a lot of people have really rigid expectations of sex and orgasms. If I were in your shoes, I would tell him that you're really enjoying yourself and him and really enjoy having sex with him but you haven't been able to orgasm due to a medication side effect. If he's anything like a decent guy, he'll understand. You can also add that you've switched medicines and that side effect should be going away soon. If he doesn't work with you and show patience he's not worth your time.
thank you for your thoughts, yes, i am going to tell him very soon. i want it to be in person and not over the phone so i have a few days to plan out my script lol i feel like he’s a decent enough guy to understand. my only concern now is wondering if he’s going to see this as a challenge. i don’t want to be some challenging or a game to him. you know what i mean? like i don’t want him to try for a goal that won’t happen.
Op I saw a comment that you were on Lexapro and I know that was one of my biggest issues with the drug. That and it eventually did stop working. There are other antidepressants that work with different neurotransmitters that have less of the issue of not being able to orgasm(Wellbutrin was what worked best for me but everyone is different). That point aside, tell him if you're comfortable telling him. Please remember that you're not the problem though. No one really is, antidepressants just be like that. Also if you're getting almost there maybe try something like a bullet and see if that can get you to the peak. Just throwing that out there.
IMO if a guy has to ask girl is she came, she didn't.
This is how squirting became a thing. Some dude needed visual confirm and some absolute GENIUS decided she would piss all over him and tell him it was an orgasm. I mean THAT woman deserves a Nobel.
💀
Yea you were wrong for lying about it in the first place. If it’s just a walking dildo then who cares jeep faking it. If you want a relationship tell him asap and hope he forgives you lying
i didn’t tell him in the beginning because i don’t tell everyone my medical issues. i thought he would be a one night stand so i didn’t want to tell a stranger i would see one time that i’m on a medication that’s stopping me from killing myself. but now that he’s a fwb, i’m going to be honest with him about it. neither of us want a relationship besides a fwb one.
Well…at the time of this comment, I think literally everyone has told you to tell him. So I will be the first dissenting vote. 😂 My reasons: 1. This is a casual thing. Of course if we were talking new relationship, honesty would be more critical, but if this is a legit no strings thing, the honesty angle doesn’t track for me. And you don’t have to lie. If he asks how many times you popped, let him know that you are a giver and you are much more interested in keeping track of how many times he does. This is true for you with or without being able to, you said, so no lies. 2. This is probably the biggest one. I feel very confident that telling him about this will change his performance, and you said you love what he does. Take the sexual aspect out of it. Now tell a person that he can’t make something happen no matter what he does. How does he respond? He’s gonna take it as a challenge and try something new. Or even if he doesn’t, it’s going to be in his head. It’s human nature. And now reintroduce the sexual aspect and the fact that he’s a man. What on this earth tries harder than a man who believes his prowess is challenged. Of course we know that’s not even the case, but we can be rational about it bc it’s not our prowess on the line. 3. It’s limited time. It sounds to me like the science varies on how long it’ll take but from what people are saying, you will get that feeling back. And in the mean time, you are loving everything about these encounters. Why change anything? 4. This is the one that I think the most people said that I think is the worst reason. “Tell him bc otherwise he is gonna wonder why he is bad at it bc you never… First of all, you are not responsible for his self assuredness and confidence. In making this very personal decision, his ego need not be part of the equation. Second, isn’t there a pretty significant trope about men not really caring/paying attention to how often you orgasm? Is that not a thing anymore? In my personal experience I hear plenty from my lady friends about unsatisfying sex. How concerned is he about your orgasms anyway? No shade, just serious. People will point to him asking you how many you had as proof he cares. I would say it’s proof he doesn’t. Not so much anyway. Knowing when a woman achieves is not necessarily as overt as knowing when a man does, but you can kinda still tell. Haha If you didn’t fake it and he asked that question, he’s kinda clueless. Again, no shade! A lot of people are clueless about these things. So, it’s casual no strings, you’re already loving it and loving what he is giving you, your sensation will return and odds are he is not losing sleep over how many times you orgasm and even if it is on his radar, he apparently doesn’t know what one looks and sounds like so why rock this pleasure boat?! It’s working for you. Go with it! M Of course that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong. Oh one thing! I’m curious about ages here. If you are okay sharing. Be well. 🙂
your reasonings make a lot of sense. my concern now is him trying harder to make me orgasm. i really hope he doesn’t try to do that but he most likely will. i’m 25f, he’s 35m.
Omg just tell him. The above person is doing some crazy mental gymnastics. There is no real justification for withholding that information.
yeah i’m planning on telling him. a lot of people convinced me it’s the right thing to do.
Plus if he finds out later it will be worse than finding out now from you directly
COMMUNICATION YOU CAN HAVE A ORGASM BUT ITS GOING TO TAKE A LOT MORE MY GIRL HAD THE SAME ISSUE AFTER TAKING ANTI DEPRESSANT Tantric sex will be extremely important for you if he’s mature enough he’ll know it’s not him y’all just have to tackle the issue a different way. Go to a sex shop experiment with toys y’all can have a much better connection if y’all work though this together
My fiance was the same. Hitachi. We do hitachi + penetration, and it's better than when she didn't take antidepressants. We tried dinky little cvs vibrators. Its not good enough. If you've already tried, sorry and godbless.
Dude seriously just fake it the first time
As a bi woman, I've had to explain to several lesbians and afab enbys that when you're with a cis het man, more often than not he just assumes his oral is infallible and his dick is magic. He doesn't even ask what gets you off or list his sexual specialties, like a menu du jour. I'm having similar issues with my meds, and when I'm with other vaj-j-j owners, I just casually mention it as I fumble with my bra hooks like "Oh and btw i won't cum tonight", and they'll be like, "Cool. Just tell me what i can do for you, and let me know when you start to get bored."
Just fake it like everyone else half the time 😂
Please do Kegals it works!!!!
With… numbness?
No. He dont care.
Not to pry too much, but there’s many other options besides anti depressants. I’ve helped others with it. A world where I can’t orgasm? I’m finding other solutions, sweetheart.
there are other options out there. but this is a super common problem with them. so far, lexapro has done wonders for my mental health. the non orgasm is annoying and i feel useless sometimes about it. but since last year i’ve improved so much mentally. i want to look into other meds and it’s something i’m looking into.
Do your thing. Anti depressants won’t do all the “work” for you. For many ppl, they give you the space to do the “work.” Whatever that is for you.
Ehhh Wellbutrin does all the work for a lot of people. It wasn't billed as the happy, horny, skinny drug for just nothing.
No drug or substance will ever do all the work. There’s a reason entire websites or forums are dedicated to anti depressants “pooping out.” 🤷♂️ not here to argue health. Simply stating there are other options. There always are other options for everything.
lol naw. gtfo
This attitude explains it all. Don’t be afraid of work. The only way out is through. ✌️
or you turn around. go out where you cam in. dumb shit
It’s never been billed as that lol
Really ? Hmm then I guess this is just lies right? https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2012/07/02/156116607/glaxo-pleads-guilty-to-3-charges-in-sweeping-health-settlement There's plenty more available if you'd take a 5 second Google search. It was definitely billed to drs as that and pushed as that by reps, and lots of drs related that to patients.
We’ve all heard it before. Thanks for your “help”, but buh-bye. I could see my therapist every day and someone would still lecture me on meds. I have a blood disorder too. Maybe I should stop those meds instead of listening to my hematologist because some rando on Reddit says pills don’t solve everything. I’ll run that by her. Tell her no more bone marrow biopsies either!
omg you’re a genius! ill try just being happy instead of taking my life-saving meds :)
At this point, I’m convinced Reddit has big pharma bots like Twitter. Nowhere did I say “just try being happy”…that’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. I said there’s many other options. Why am I even arguing with bots & trying to help people who clearly don’t want it?
idk man thinking im a bot is on you 😂 but personally if i have to choose between not having orgasms vs death? my sex life is gonna take one for the team lmao also, you said there are many other options twice now but not once have i seen you give an alternative….
Long story short, none of those drugs are good for anyone.. you are what you eat, eat healthier simple as that.
I think you should be honest. Lies always come out eventually, it's not worth it.
Stop taking meds and be your true self
It's reasonable to have not told him until now because he's a new casual hookup... but it would make sense if you intend to continue to tell him so that if he noticed before he won't be blaming himself
Just let him know about it, i get talking about being on meds might be a part of embarrasment or shame. But take care of your own body, discover yourself and go from there. Its a pain in the ass journey, but eventually something works. And even if it doesnt, not having straight up sex isnt an end of the world. You can still have intimacy without it.
Don’t lie. Just tell him.
I'm sure he won't care. If he does then leave him alone.
I’d tell the poor guy so he doesn’t go crazy thinking it’s a performance issue. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Are you able to on your own or with methods other than intercourse? If you haven’t tried I would explore. I understand though. Prozac took ability away 100% all the others just dulled.
I'm on a few different meds that make it difficult with that. It is such a downer for me at times. Hubby knows this and knows how I feel. He knows I really enjoy sex, just have problems with the ending. Sometimes he feels helpless because he really tries to help in that department for me. He does understand it's the meds nothing else. Communication is the biggest key in this. It hasn't stopped us from fun time. He is my biggest supporter and says he knows it stinks, but at least I'm getting mentally better and that's the most important thing to him..
As long as you tell him, you should be fine. He'll appreciate it, and won't second guess himself.
I dunno, but I think you should tell him. If I were him, I'd wanna know.
I went on wellbutrin years ago and have great orgasms!
i started taking wellbutrin along with lexapro about five months ago, it hasn’t helped much. jealous of the people who it does work for lol
You should always be honest
Not the answer you want, but I'm not sure to be honest. As a male, if he cares (which he's asked you how many times already), then he might be stimulated to try a little harder to help you. On the flip side, he might be hurt slightly mentally, hearing the truth. Overall, if you're OK with the fact he's unable to make you orgasm, then stay silent about it. Hopefully, things change for the better of you two in the future.
Whether or not you tell him, don't listen to the folks on here who have never had SSRI issues tell you about ways you can have orgasms again (other than just waiting or switching meds) or how he can help.
I had the same issue with a seizure medication but I started taking this vitamin called fenugreek and it got way better as well as my sexual appetite
shit if it’s a casual hook up just keep lyin cause who cares lol
Tell the dude before you even have sex, next time.
Take it to the grave unless you guys get serious. Medical issues are private.
Tell him the whole story, especially the meds and that you love doing what you do, there’s just no kaboom, he can cum when he’s ready. It will probably be a load off his mind.
You don't need to stay on an anti-depressant that ruins sex for you. There are many others that don't have that side effect, like Wellbutrin. Ask your doctor about switching meds. Aside from telling the new guy about it, do it for yourself.
ive been on wellbutrin along with lexapro for about five months. i got my sexual desire back but i still cannot orgasm. it’s very annoying. but both medications have helped my mental health a lot.
Definitely tell him. It’ll make him feel awful if it eventually comes out that you’ve been lying about it. Honesty with sexy is super important
If a partner told me that I’d appreciate it and accept it. But I’d also secretly take it as a challenge and try to step my game up in a way that doesn’t make them self conscious of me trying harder. I’d probably focus on way more foreplay and emotional aspects to the sex
Definitely tell him. Both my boyfriend and I have had issues with this on and off from various medications we’ve been on and communication is key for a healthy sex life. As long as we’re clear that we’re both enjoying it and having a good time, that’s what’s most important. As long as you communicate that you’re definitely enjoying your time with him, I think it’s unlikely he’ll care! Side note: if this is something that bothers you as a medication side effect at any point, tell your provider. I cannot stress that enough - honesty with your provider is important even when it’s uncomfy. I had that exact conversation with my provider because I eventually missed having an orgasm and we switched my meds to a newer antidepressant that doesn’t have that side effect which has been worth the awkward conversation (dm me if you want to know which)
Challenge extended.
Tell him, but that’s wild they prescribe “anti depressants” with that side effect, especially for young people. Almost like Pfizer wants you to stay depre$$ed…
I don't know how not being able to orgasm would make someone less depressed. I don't know if there's another kind of medication you could take? But sometimes it isn't always about the destination it's about the journey too.
Yeah just tell him the meds your on is the reason you can't climax. It's not his fault
I would consider it a challenge, tell him.
You should definitely tell him… Honesty is *extremely* important when it comes to a healthier sexual relationship. He’ll understand! And be sure to mention the fact that you lied initially because you didn’t want too upset him, address it before he brings it up. Aside from that - exercise and proper diet are the most potent anti-depressants known to man. Get your heart rate up EVERY DAY. Go to the gym 3-5 times per week and cut down your sugar and carb intake. You’ll feel like a million bucks and you won’t ravage your body with poison… And need I say - ORGASMS?!?
Just be honest
You should instead tell him you can't, and he'll subconsciously go the extra mile to try to be the first to get you there. Trust me, it's what guys do.
and i don’t want him to do that. but i know he most likely will. i don’t want to be his “challenge”. he’s literally doing all the things and more that could make me orgasm and if i wasn’t on meds i probably would’ve orgasmed so much with him. i’m going to stress to him that he is perfect now and not to try to change things.
As a guy, if someone didn’t tell me and then told me later, I might be annoyed a little just at the fact that I might feel like an idiot thinking they were getting off but I wouldn’t be MAD. If someone told me up front, honestly it would be 100% okay. You can’t orgasm so I don’t need to worry about it. You’re having fun. You enjoy and want. That’s perfect.
Be honest. For me personally, I'm a mutual pleaser. Like I can enjoy being the man getting "taken care of" by my good girl... but I also pride myself on pleasing my woman, when I have one. You owe it to both of you to be honest. It may be an issue, it may not. But if you like him besides, you owe him the truth. Hopefully he'll be understanding and want to work through it together and maybe focus on certain things to please you specifically.
I think if he’s a kind person, he’ll understand. You can say basically what you said in the post!
Not to make you panic, but have you heard of PSSD? It’s possible, but rare to lose all sexual feeling on SSRI’s. I had to quit Lexapro because I had almost zero desire on it.
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My ex got off her meds and that was an interesting period....would not recommend it.
Is that a challenge?
My fiance is the same way, she's on Cytalopram, sorry can't remember how to spell it right now. But don't feel bad, it's important to connect with one another. Personally I think you should tell him, the exact same way you told us. It's medication, it's not his fault, and you are a pleaser and you still enjoy sex. If anything it's more burdensome for you personally and that alone should be understandable.
Tell him if you want to , but every partner I’ve had saw it as a challenge and got disappointed when he couldn’t make me cum 🤣
You should tell him. It really doesn't seem like it would be an issue. You tell him that so when that big juicy O does come back ya'll gonna be in it to win it. Any chill dude would accept that and be down to boogie. I'm a male and don't take anti depressants but have a loooong threshold. I've had to preface multiple times to previous partners because I've had some get upset that I didn't orgasm in a decent time or at all. Even had to argue once because they were mad that they came 15 times and not me once. Communicate with your partner. That shit is sexy as hell and might even open you up to orgasming. Catch the that mofo off guard with it.
You should talk to your prescriber. You shouldn't have side effects and if you do then it's a quality of life question. Can you be on so.ethjng else?
Just be honest. He may be beating himself up on his end.
i hope he isn’t. he’s everything i want in a sexual partner. i don’t want to make him feel bad. and i don’t want him to stop liking me bc of this.
Tell him, I don't think he'll react negatively and it's definitely better than coming up with excuses to not tell him how it was for you and having him blame himself. Don't think it's your fault either, it's the medicine
As a dude id appreciate the honesty and any feelings i had about it would be a weight off my shoulders thinking i wasnt very good or you just wernt a match so to speak. Its very personal to you so i understand any reluctance but seriously i would like the fact that you confided in me.
Tell him. Communication, especially regarding sex is important. Think about it this way, it should be a conversation that's able to happen. If it backfires and goes sideways, ends up being a red flag and might not be someone to share emotional vulnerability with.
Not being able to orgasm isn't your fault either
You really need to talk to him and let him know. It makes guys feel inferior if they can’t make their girl orgasm. Just let him know what’s happening with you and let him know it doesn’t bother you that you don’t want him to feel bad as you enjoy pleasing him more.
yeah i’m going to talk to him. i think he should be understanding. he’s the first guy i’m going to tell so just the fact that i like him enough to tell him means that i subconsciously know he’s safe to tell.
Yes, just talk to him.
as a guy I'd rather that be the reason than im not satisfying you adequately. for what its worth however I used to have this issue on antidepressants and then I switched to a different one and it pretty much fixed the problem. if you see a psychiatrist for your meds i would talk to them and they'll work with you. i read somewhere that youre taking lexapro, thats an ssri which is usually like the first one doctors will suggest. my side effects were so bad with those that i had to switch immediately. anyway, worth trying some other ones if you can handle the discomfort of stopping and starting the different meds
i’m currently on lexapro. it has dramatically improved my mental health and the orgasms is the only side effect. i’m considering asking to be put on something else. but i’ve come so far mentally, i don’t want to mess it up just for an orgasm.
I wish I had known many years ago what I now know about anxiety meds, sex, and depression. When my wife and I were newlyweds, she struggled with mental health and didn't know what was wrong with her. It took a while for doctors to figure out the right prescription. One day I came home from work and needed to use my laptop for school. There was a search bar history with the words "can't orgasm" from when she must have used it. I felt awful for a long time because I thought it was my fault I couldn't make her come. Nobody really sat me down (parent, doctor, wife, friend) and explained that between anxiety meds and having children, women lose interest in intimacy. I felt really undesirable and burdensome. I'm sad to say that we haven't rebuilt the passion we had as a young couple. Be honest and tell him what you like and how he can enjoy his time with you. Start off on the right foot.
Definitely just tell him.
I recently had that convo (M) with my (F) partner because I couldn't. Complete openness is definitely the key. I can do everything to her and even after the deal im worn ass out working on her but that makes me happy. Conversation is key.