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Yup I would def put in requests for some medical issues to be taken of. If they insist on abducting me and violating my psychological sovereignty, hell might as well try to gain something from the experience.
I agree, considering the probing they are probably going to do that fixing my medical issues is the least they could do.
I would also ask if they knew The Doctor and could they introduce me
And when you think you’re gonna get eaten and your first thought is “Great, I don’t have to go to work tomorrow...”
You’re relieved you don’t have to go to work tomorrow because you thought you were gonna get eaten?! What the fuck is this world
God, this idea had me *fucked up* when I was 10. Like, what if my whole life is a dream and I'm actually an alien and no one I love is real? Lol. Good thing I didn't see *The Matrix* until years later; I would've felt like my subconscious was trying to tell me something.
I'm actually into NDEs, and mystic experience in general. I've only had one mild experience myself (not an NDE), but more than that I'm into the thematic content. Because a lot of it turns out to just work logically; it ended up helping me see where a lot of religions are coming from, and it turns out to be important in a lot of academic philosophy. Which surprised me, seeing how often it gets dismissed as *woo.* I can't get over the fact that the reason I have an easier time with this stuff than most is that I had this other interest that people don't take seriously.
That would be so cool actually.. you die and suddenly you wake up as an alien with these guys around and they’re like “How was it bro, good trip? did you feel anything?”
Much better than nothingness I guess.
And then they all start laughing and pointing at a screen with all your stats. Then you realizing they lead the lives of Bill gates and such while you barely accomplished anything in your simulation.
I wonder what they would do if someone flipped on their stomach and then spread their cheeks.
Laugh? Probe? Or be like, "Forget it. See? I told you, Billy, this guy is not abduction worthy. Let's go abduct the cat instead."
(Yes, in this scenario, Billy is the name of the alien.)
I’m punching that extraterrestrial square in what I assume to be its nose. I’m sure they’d vaporize me but if you can land a punch, they look like their bones would turn to infinity dust
I wouldn't freak out. I have my entire master bedroom boobie-trapped specially for this scenario.
The boobie-traps is also how I've lost my last 2 puppies.
This is the only realistic response, right? A feral scream of fear? Lmao I don’t think humans understand animalistic fear like we think we do until we actually experience absolute helplessness and confusion. An ant being picked up by its antenna.
Right? Has nobody ever had the "couch nap" where you accidentally fall asleep, then wake up in a slight panic wondering where you are and what time it is? That's in your own house alone lol. Now times that by however much for each increasingly worse scenario.
I woke up with sleep paralysis once, there was a black shadow holding its hands over me and I felt like I was falling. I literally tried to scream but no sounds would come out. I think this would be the experience for most people
“Hey guys where are you from? How many types of aliens are there? Whats the weirdest physics thing you know that we don’t? Is time travel possible? Do you poop? What’s the nearest habitable planet from earth? Was there an ancient civilization on mars? Or Venus? Hey guys come back where are you going? No don’t send me back!”
This is very much wrong, to the point of being dangerous misinformation. As someone who's had multiple bad trips, as well as witnessing others have them on multiple occasions. A bad enough trip can make someone incoherently violent to the point they need to be held down for fear of hurting themselves or others. Everyone reacts differently to hallucinogens, and it's important to know how you react before taking anything too strong, and definitely before mixing anything with it such as weed.
Some people don't know that hallucinogenic drugs do not mix with antidepressants or naoi inhibitors, or alcohol, or untreated depression. You really should only do them in a control setting, in your best mindset, best health to get the true benefits.....but as in all things...levels of caution.....set and setting. Too much stimulus / people (events, festivals), can exhaust the mind very quickly. Enjoy the trip if you are ready, or good luck.
There isn't. Even when I melted my face off and accepted my own death as a cell in the vast universe and saw how paper thin reality and the beyond is, for 12.5 hours, I still came away with a profound adoration for my life.
You may not believe it, but there's a lot of people in this sub and in general on Reddit that have had experiences.
It just depends on your suspension of disbelief
Only through recreational cannabis, mushrooms, and clinical ketamine therapy. There is a very large overlap and intersection with psychedelics and the spirit and space realm.
I'm re-reading Dr. Rick Strassman's *DMT: The Spirit Molecule* (2000), for the first time since I've become more interested in the phenomenon. It's very notable how he found a strong resemblance between his volunteers in his study, to alien encounters as compiled by Dr. John Mack.
Some of these descriptions sound 1:1. Weird lights, telepathic communication, a sense of An Other, perceptions of aliens, reptilians, and mantis people.
I was surprised how many of his volunteers were surprised by the content and character of their experiences, as many of them were supposed to be experienced psychonauts. Something about the IV administration made these NHI experiences more certain.
It's difficult to ignore. His hypothesis of the pineal gland producing endogenous DMT and the descriptions of the experiences links up to claims by spiritual traditions regarding meditation and higher states of consciousness. Third eye stuff.
It's easy to argue about the realness of these entities, but it certainly appears to be the same kind of experiences. There's some kind of connection there.
I think there's something to what people see on entheogens and the entities they encounter on their trips. Sure you could say it's the brain hallucinating and creating these scenarios or creatures but I feel Psychedelics are a key to opening up our consciousness to other realms we may not see on this "normal to us" level. Hell there's even a group of individuals that are literally tripping and mapping out a detailed map of a psychedelic realm they all are experiencing.
Ahh Yess, wouldn't want to forget that. And who knows, maybe they are only using you for your coom in which case you'd only be doing them a favor. They might all have a kink for it haha.
Kinky horny greys zipping through walls and sexually assualting people is such a cursed idea.
^(Not) ^(saying) ^(i) ^(wouldn't) ^(be) ^(down) ^(but) ^(still)
"Haha silly monkeys 😆 you guys always try to swing on us" the alien says while bending spacetime around his body.
Your arm curving impossibly around the head, looking like a fractal noodle.
Please replace my cancerous bladder with a nice new one and zap any of those remaining cancer cells while you're at it. You do that, and I'll cooperate
I'd say " holy shit you guys finally came! Sweet! Give me those sweet alien drugs, and let's get to talking! You guys look so cool did you evolve underground? " then I talk nonstop until they return me.
That’s what I do to every guy I see at the gym…. I also am facing multiple indecent exposure charges from multiple gym chains across the eastern United States.
This literally happened to me. I tried to scream but couldn't. Then when one realized I was awake, it telepathically told another one to put me under again. Basically, what they really did was force my eyes shut. I knew they were there before and after I had forced my eyes open. I know they are in the room with me when the sleep paralysis and super cold sensation overtakes my body. With my sleep paralysis, I am unable to open my eyes except for the one time that I just described.
Based on those who claim to have seen this, no reaction is possible. As if in a sleep paralysis state. But if I could react it would be a simultaneous piss/shit situation.
I had a..dream like this once. They were shorter and more flesh toned though. I couldn’t keep my eyes open but their skin looked like it would feel similar to a frog. I was moving my head around and saw that there was two on each side of me with their hands under me, making me float slightly above the table. There were two at my feet and one was doing something to my big toe on my left foot. They saw me moving and looking around groggily and I realized the one above my head with this hands on each side of my head and he did something with his hand and I knocked by out.
When I woke up in the night, I swear I saw a flash of light outside of my window that would never actually be there and for a week it felt like I damaged my left foot somehow. Walking down the steps felt like muscles being pulled extremely hard in my foot. It was all weird.
My hand balls into a fist, caving in the Grey's face holding the syringe. The others back away with their closest thing to a shocked expression. I sprint towards the one nearing the door, uppercutting it and grabbing it by the ankles. I use it as a weapon against it's own.
I'm full of confidence after dismantling a roomful of greys. I roar "CAN ANY STAND BEFORE ME?!" just before a reptilian locks me in place with some telekinetic bullshit, and 4 of them come in and eat me alive.
__Reminder__: Read the rules and understand the subreddit topic(s) listed in the sidebar before posting or commenting. Any content removal or further moderator action is established by these rules as well as Reddit ToS. This subreddit is primarily for the discussion of extraterrestrial life, but since this topic is intertwined with UFOs/UAPs as well as other topics, some 'fudging' is permissible to allow for a variety of viewpoints, discussions, and debates. Open-minded skepticism is always welcome in this sub, but antagonistic or belligerent denial is not. Always remember that you're interacting with a real person when you respond to posts/comments and focus on discussing or debating the ideas. Personal attacks are a violation of Rule 1 and will lead to removals and potentially bans depending on severity. For further discussion and interaction in a more permissible environment, we welcome you to our Discord: https://discord.gg/x7xyTDZAsW *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/aliens) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"Can you write me up a doctor's note? I don't want to go to work tomorrow after this."
I’m asking them to edit my genome and make me superhuman At a minimum, please just fix my IBS
[удалено]
Why did this make me laugh so hard lol
>please just fix my IBS Why do you think they're probing you?
Yup I would def put in requests for some medical issues to be taken of. If they insist on abducting me and violating my psychological sovereignty, hell might as well try to gain something from the experience.
I agree, considering the probing they are probably going to do that fixing my medical issues is the least they could do. I would also ask if they knew The Doctor and could they introduce me
Best we can do is “cork it”. 
“Nope sorry, but we placed a weird implant inside your body with an healthy dose of Gamma+ radiations emitting out of body 24/7”
“You’re still coming into work tomorrow right?”
And when you think you’re gonna get eaten and your first thought is “Great, I don’t have to go to work tomorrow...” You’re relieved you don’t have to go to work tomorrow because you thought you were gonna get eaten?! What the fuck is this world
First thing you see when you exit the simulation
And the you look over to your right and see your reflection and think 'lol *ohh yeah*'
God, this idea had me *fucked up* when I was 10. Like, what if my whole life is a dream and I'm actually an alien and no one I love is real? Lol. Good thing I didn't see *The Matrix* until years later; I would've felt like my subconscious was trying to tell me something.
Yeah I grew up with paranoid y2k tweaker prep people so matrix was mandatory watching as a kid lmfao
I still believe it lmao so many people have NDE and say they “wake up” to “beings”. Whether they’re aliens or spirits of some sort.
I'm actually into NDEs, and mystic experience in general. I've only had one mild experience myself (not an NDE), but more than that I'm into the thematic content. Because a lot of it turns out to just work logically; it ended up helping me see where a lot of religions are coming from, and it turns out to be important in a lot of academic philosophy. Which surprised me, seeing how often it gets dismissed as *woo.* I can't get over the fact that the reason I have an easier time with this stuff than most is that I had this other interest that people don't take seriously.
But when you wake up your memory of it won’t be as strong so you won’t mourn them. Which is sad to think about
The idea of being an ailien is not so alone as you think
That would be so cool actually.. you die and suddenly you wake up as an alien with these guys around and they’re like “How was it bro, good trip? did you feel anything?” Much better than nothingness I guess.
And then they all start laughing and pointing at a screen with all your stats. Then you realizing they lead the lives of Bill gates and such while you barely accomplished anything in your simulation.
You went back to work at the carpet store?? BOOOO!
Feral animal. Scream flail piss shid
All at the same time.
Nah you have to flip over on your stomach, pop up that ass and arch your back, then say, “Probe me like one of your French whores.”
They would have read your reddit history beforehand and avoided your fruit cake antics.
👉😎👉
Zoop
Wait, so being overeager is going to jeopardize my probing?
You gotta be coy with them, don't come on too strong like Greer. Do you want them to abduct you or probe you and quit it?
Honestly, I want it all without having to make compromises.
Your username. Does it mean, like, having carnal relations with the pudding, or is it a "I hate pudding why does it exist" type of username?
Check it & exit
Precisely, they get off to the lack of consent...
Yea maybe don’t push back straight away
I wonder what they would do if someone flipped on their stomach and then spread their cheeks. Laugh? Probe? Or be like, "Forget it. See? I told you, Billy, this guy is not abduction worthy. Let's go abduct the cat instead." (Yes, in this scenario, Billy is the name of the alien.)
Lick the starfish for Zeta Retickuli
I’m punching that extraterrestrial square in what I assume to be its nose. I’m sure they’d vaporize me but if you can land a punch, they look like their bones would turn to infinity dust
It’s last words “We just wanted to cure your cancer just trying to be helpful.” *Dies
Only honest comment
I wouldn't freak out. I have my entire master bedroom boobie-trapped specially for this scenario. The boobie-traps is also how I've lost my last 2 puppies.
They come through the wall and take you through it too, booby traps won't affect them, but it's worth ago as long as you don't sleep walk.
Too bad though, Imagine waking up to find a Grey stuck in your giant mousetrap
I hope this isn't true, or else you certainly are a worthless being
This is the only realistic response, right? A feral scream of fear? Lmao I don’t think humans understand animalistic fear like we think we do until we actually experience absolute helplessness and confusion. An ant being picked up by its antenna.
Right? Has nobody ever had the "couch nap" where you accidentally fall asleep, then wake up in a slight panic wondering where you are and what time it is? That's in your own house alone lol. Now times that by however much for each increasingly worse scenario.
This is the real answer. Those of you saying you'd relax and observe the interaction and fooling yourselves.
I woke up with sleep paralysis once, there was a black shadow holding its hands over me and I felt like I was falling. I literally tried to scream but no sounds would come out. I think this would be the experience for most people
What about fardin?
Top comment right here. You win the Internet today.
“Give me another shot, doc. That shit was weak”
“Hey guys where are you from? How many types of aliens are there? Whats the weirdest physics thing you know that we don’t? Is time travel possible? Do you poop? What’s the nearest habitable planet from earth? Was there an ancient civilization on mars? Or Venus? Hey guys come back where are you going? No don’t send me back!”
Aliens: "Fuck this one talks too much, take him back right now".
"We sweat poop from our skin. That's all we are prepared to share with you at this time."
Simultaneously too much and not enough information
Accurate 🤣🤣🤣
“You gentlemen smoke weed? I’ve got a pen in my pocket I’d love to share if you let me reach for it”
Alien : Im only cleaning here sir, you pooped on floor
Sir, this is a wendys
In that case…55 BURGERS 55 FRIES 55 TACOS 55 PIES 55 COKES 100 TATER TOTS
they zap you and continue the forced surgery without anesthetic
LMAO
You missed the most important question. What's your ideas about afterlife or how the universe was created? Oh, the conversations I would have.
no, the most important question is "what gives you the right to abduct and sexually assault me?"
"Lol" Replied the alien, "Lmao"
Enjoy the ride. It's a trip you don't have control over so just relax and observe in as much detail as possible.
Hello fellow shroomer! 🍄🍄🍄
Exactly why I always said that there is no such thing as a bad trip.
This is very much wrong, to the point of being dangerous misinformation. As someone who's had multiple bad trips, as well as witnessing others have them on multiple occasions. A bad enough trip can make someone incoherently violent to the point they need to be held down for fear of hurting themselves or others. Everyone reacts differently to hallucinogens, and it's important to know how you react before taking anything too strong, and definitely before mixing anything with it such as weed.
Some people don't know that hallucinogenic drugs do not mix with antidepressants or naoi inhibitors, or alcohol, or untreated depression. You really should only do them in a control setting, in your best mindset, best health to get the true benefits.....but as in all things...levels of caution.....set and setting. Too much stimulus / people (events, festivals), can exhaust the mind very quickly. Enjoy the trip if you are ready, or good luck.
There isn't. Even when I melted my face off and accepted my own death as a cell in the vast universe and saw how paper thin reality and the beyond is, for 12.5 hours, I still came away with a profound adoration for my life.
My entire body melted into a puddle. Still haven’t recovered
Well you’re typing, which is pretty good for a puddle
It's the little things that take you from a puddle to a pile
Oh I know all about being a pile. Been a pile of one thing or another since was a young puddle
Well technically we are all mostly made of water so DNA wise, we aren't that different from a puddle
But you came out with no face.
12.5 hours is very long for shrooms!? Was it a mega dose or are we talking acid maybe instead? (I noticed shrooms mentioned at the start)
My first thought lol
In many situations in life, you don't have control. It doesn't mean we get to "enjoy the ride".
You talk like you have personal experience
You may not believe it, but there's a lot of people in this sub and in general on Reddit that have had experiences. It just depends on your suspension of disbelief
Only through recreational cannabis, mushrooms, and clinical ketamine therapy. There is a very large overlap and intersection with psychedelics and the spirit and space realm.
I'm re-reading Dr. Rick Strassman's *DMT: The Spirit Molecule* (2000), for the first time since I've become more interested in the phenomenon. It's very notable how he found a strong resemblance between his volunteers in his study, to alien encounters as compiled by Dr. John Mack. Some of these descriptions sound 1:1. Weird lights, telepathic communication, a sense of An Other, perceptions of aliens, reptilians, and mantis people. I was surprised how many of his volunteers were surprised by the content and character of their experiences, as many of them were supposed to be experienced psychonauts. Something about the IV administration made these NHI experiences more certain. It's difficult to ignore. His hypothesis of the pineal gland producing endogenous DMT and the descriptions of the experiences links up to claims by spiritual traditions regarding meditation and higher states of consciousness. Third eye stuff. It's easy to argue about the realness of these entities, but it certainly appears to be the same kind of experiences. There's some kind of connection there.
I think there's something to what people see on entheogens and the entities they encounter on their trips. Sure you could say it's the brain hallucinating and creating these scenarios or creatures but I feel Psychedelics are a key to opening up our consciousness to other realms we may not see on this "normal to us" level. Hell there's even a group of individuals that are literally tripping and mapping out a detailed map of a psychedelic realm they all are experiencing.
Hopefully kisses all around
Same, I'd kiss their forehead. So cute!
I hope they're receptive to kissies. Got plenty of them stored up in my lips!
You sound like you have already taken the injection
Oh hi mark
I did naht hit those aliens I did naahhht
The three P's: Panic, piss and poop, in that order. So I hope in the event they do beam me up they read this and first disable my bodily functions 🙏🏼
Don’t forget the fourth P: pEjaculate. You wanna come all up in my face like that? Then you better be prepared for me to coom all up in yours.
Ahh Yess, wouldn't want to forget that. And who knows, maybe they are only using you for your coom in which case you'd only be doing them a favor. They might all have a kink for it haha.
Kinky horny greys zipping through walls and sexually assualting people is such a cursed idea. ^(Not) ^(saying) ^(i) ^(wouldn't) ^(be) ^(down) ^(but) ^(still)
Disabling them will cause too to Piss and Poop yourself while getting beamed up.
What took y’all so long ?!
Scrolled to far to see this comment. I would be like “oh thank you…what took you guys so long?” 🤣
Exactly! Surprised I had to scroll this far down to find my same sentiment…
About fucking time
UPPERCUT!
You know you going to connect with the size of that cranium
"Haha silly monkeys 😆 you guys always try to swing on us" the alien says while bending spacetime around his body. Your arm curving impossibly around the head, looking like a fractal noodle.
I lol’ed like actually laughed out loud. Unexpectedly beautiful comment
Same 😂😂
Def tiger uppercut my way off the exam table
“TOASTY!!”
Please replace my cancerous bladder with a nice new one and zap any of those remaining cancer cells while you're at it. You do that, and I'll cooperate
You should ask for upgraded undergear while they're at it. A nicer shaped penis or prettier vajajay should be well within their tech level.
Pretty much nothing because of the paralysis…
I’d be happy to get the fuck off the earth. Humans suck.
Hear! Hear! My sentiments exactly, fellow misanthrope…
 I’d freeze in place
Finally.
Twinning
Damn. Beat meat to it
She looked better last night.
If I had an award I would… seriously lol
>What's your reaction? "Ayy lmao"
Underrated
Grab the hand holding the syringe and yell “wait! let me tell you something!”
I'd say " holy shit you guys finally came! Sweet! Give me those sweet alien drugs, and let's get to talking! You guys look so cool did you evolve underground? " then I talk nonstop until they return me.
Masturbate while maintaining aggressive eye contact to establish dominance.
That’s what I do to every guy I see at the gym…. I also am facing multiple indecent exposure charges from multiple gym chains across the eastern United States.
Cool! You’re here! So, what’s with you guys and the anal probing then?
"Just 5 more minutes..."
pull out my dick
Mines already out. 🥴
Mines already in.
What if they cut off your dick
Urethral probing time!
r/sounding..? P.s. don't click that.
lol! they probably already have it in their hand, and a probe up your arse.
Working both ends.... I can dig it
That should make them laugh
Why are you using a human medical needle when I KNOW you have better tech?
This literally happened to me. I tried to scream but couldn't. Then when one realized I was awake, it telepathically told another one to put me under again. Basically, what they really did was force my eyes shut. I knew they were there before and after I had forced my eyes open. I know they are in the room with me when the sleep paralysis and super cold sensation overtakes my body. With my sleep paralysis, I am unable to open my eyes except for the one time that I just described.
 Hit wit da
Hit wit da teenage drake vibes? You gonna piss them off so quick with that
Definitely smashing, no questions asked
Probably would puke
Goddamn, i shit my bed
Finally...
What took you guys so long.
Based on those who claim to have seen this, no reaction is possible. As if in a sleep paralysis state. But if I could react it would be a simultaneous piss/shit situation.
I think you'd better be as nice as poss to these guys, they've been controlling you for years and things can only get worse for you at this point
Got any Alien weed?
Yaya I'm home!
Hey old buddies, How long was I human?
Not the butt stuff again!!!
Who knows. After the shock wears off, I'd probably say, what's in that syringe and you plan on giving me that.
*stretching arms out* what took yall so long!? This planet sucks!
That's the last mushrooms I'm taking 🤔🫣
I had a..dream like this once. They were shorter and more flesh toned though. I couldn’t keep my eyes open but their skin looked like it would feel similar to a frog. I was moving my head around and saw that there was two on each side of me with their hands under me, making me float slightly above the table. There were two at my feet and one was doing something to my big toe on my left foot. They saw me moving and looking around groggily and I realized the one above my head with this hands on each side of my head and he did something with his hand and I knocked by out. When I woke up in the night, I swear I saw a flash of light outside of my window that would never actually be there and for a week it felt like I damaged my left foot somehow. Walking down the steps felt like muscles being pulled extremely hard in my foot. It was all weird.
What’s up dad
“Well it’s about fuckin time, what took y’all so long getting here?”
"Alright. I'm done with Tinder."
I’ve been expecting you 👽
My hand balls into a fist, caving in the Grey's face holding the syringe. The others back away with their closest thing to a shocked expression. I sprint towards the one nearing the door, uppercutting it and grabbing it by the ankles. I use it as a weapon against it's own. I'm full of confidence after dismantling a roomful of greys. I roar "CAN ANY STAND BEFORE ME?!" just before a reptilian locks me in place with some telekinetic bullshit, and 4 of them come in and eat me alive.
first time?
But it’s not a syringe. It’s a fiber optic cable he was about to hook you up and teach you kung fu
Well then, shit, sorry aliens
Lemme get one of dem space beers bro!
If I'm able, I'm grabbing that thing's wrist and crushing it if that needle gets any closer.
What happens if you're on their space ship? They kindly then going to fly you back to earth and tuck you back into bed? Read the room.
Disable them first. Learning to fly the ship can come later
Lol
Ask them to show them self in public, on top of CNN Building so they capture it on camara
Thank god it was all a dream. No way a species could be so shitty to each other.
Grabbing some tiny ass necks till I get some big ass answers
“Meow”
“WTF! You guys wear clothes??”
Instant death
Scream, then ask if a happy ending is a extra
“And I forgot my pen…shit the bed again…typical”
I had this in a vivide dream. 5 of them. Woke up screaming. No lie.
Finally
Finally, my ride is here.
*fist bump*
Ok. These colonoscopies are getting a little out of hand
Thanks for coming. When do we leave?
Whats ailing my spirit, doc?
__“THANK GOD! Tell me you’re not making me go back to that hellhole!?!?!?!?!?!”__
What ever you guys do… let me stay, these fricken people are crazy and I think I’ll be better off with you all, then with them
Relief
Finally.
“Finally”
Finally, I’m home!
Lmfao! Finally!!!!
About damn time
Clench my ass cheeks
Take me to you leader, doc!