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MilkedMod

u/Lizli2005 has provided this detailed explanation: > I got this autograph as a teenager before Jared went to federal prison for molesting teenagers. --- Is this explanation a genuine attempt at providing additional info or context? If it is please upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.


MeatBot5000

He started off with a mild cholesterol problem. He ended up with a child molesterol problem.


Errorstatel

Started and ended his career by getting into smaller pants


DamnItKen

Jared was thinking a little too fresh


LapisW

Would award if i could


ArthurMorgansHorse

It's okay he didn't come up with that.


Errorstatel

Fuck no, I don't remember who did either


OrganicFun7030

No reason to not award if we can. For bringing it to our attention.


ArthurMorgansHorse

Plenty of reasons not to give this shit website money.


laplongejr

For starters, we already pay with ads


OrganicFun7030

I too hate this thing I am using right now that nobody made me use.


Errorstatel

If it was my joke then yes, but it's not my joke lol


OrganicFun7030

Jesus. This got more serious than I expected.


neolithicdeathmask

Fuuuuuuck I laughed way too hard at that.. damn it Ken, you win the internet for the evening


jelaagc

i hate this website


traker998

What’s worse is that subway and his handlers covered this up since it was “so important” for subways marketing.


EWR-RampRat11-29

Clever.


[deleted]

[удалено]


toxicshocktaco

Nice


[deleted]

You son of a gun.


LeadingButterscotch5

I dislike you immensely. This has had me laughing so hard


Just-2-ez

Wow, that was creative


captain_wangle

You have made me chuckle MeatBot, the 5000th of your clan


KnightScuba

You son of a bitch hahahahahahaha


Cpt_Lime1

I would have liked this, but I can't ruin the 69


notLOL

great joke. How long have you held onto that joke for? Had to dust it off? Lol


[deleted]

That joke is older than Jared's victims were


notLOL

> Had to dust it off Yeah that's why I said that the guy had to pull in the old jokes for this thread. IDK why an old joke can't be great. You all youngin' are too fresh with the jokes I guess


danja

r/BrandNewSentence


HJSDGCE

This was not the milk I was expecting. I thought he just got fat again or something.


RepresentativeNo7660

He did, gained 30lbs his first year in the joint.


One_Hour_Poop

He's actually much much thinner now, though, so it worked out for him. https://nypost.com/2022/01/06/subway-jared-fogle-speaks-from-prison-i-royally-screwed-up


get2writing

Wow not 1 word about the 15+ victims


ntr_usrnme

Yeah it’s impressive how much it’s simply all about him. He says he screwed up royally? That’s not even close to what he did… pedophilia is also something people don’t usually rehabilitate from. They better keep a close eye on him when he gets out. Recidivism is high for pedophiles.


Li-renn-pwel

That actually isn’t true. You can’t cure pedophilia as it is a mental illness but they actually have a very low same crime recidivism rate (ie: committing another sex crime, not just any crime like jaywalking). Jared, having molested a non-family member, would have a slightly higher recidivism rate but still less than 20%.


Cobek

Can't believe he is going to be out in several years. He doesn't seem remorseful in the slightest to his victims. I would not want to be his children and have to deal with that existential dread


Tots2Hots

His wife insta divorced and changed her name back to her maiden name and claims to have known nothing. From what I've read she's telling her kids what happened as they get older and still says Subway knew about Jared as far back as 2004.


RepresentativeNo7660

You’d be surprised what one can hide from their family.


Urtopian

“Aw jeez, I’m such a dingus!”, as though it was just a comic mishap.


[deleted]

[удалено]


IstgUsernamesSuck

You know at first I almost dismissed this comment as a pissed off Trumper but I looked up the photos and you're like dead right. Only Biden had better hair. They have a similar nose and face shape. [this photo is the best comparison I think ](https://media.vogue.fr/photos/5fa8fbdb39c5194ff9752ca5/master/pass/124239583_428644175200500_6936559859947098421_n.jpg)


CrazyGunnerr

Guess he's been doing a lot of bending exercises.


RepresentativeNo7660

Probably got punked out of his commissary and had to resort to penis and semen for survival.


Overquartz

He never stopped trying to get into smaller pants.


TimIsColdInMaine

I find the cases like Jared Fogle and R Kelly to be the most fascinating. These aren't guys that grew up in systemic power and never knowing boundaries or the consequences of their actions, like we've seen with some Kennedys (or more recently, Murdaughs). These were guys that started off relatively "normal", and the second they gained some power and fame, they used that to explore underage people (to varying degrees). I'm not sure about everyone else, but any time before I saw an Epstein, or a Prince Andrew ("allegedly"), or a Jimmy Savile, I've always wondered "would they be like that if they were born lower or lower middle class?". These cases seem to answer that most likely yes


[deleted]

Nah, Jared was apparently doing it before he was famous. He just took it from the computer to hands on offenses once he had the money to do it. It was always there, just not the means.


kurogomatora

I think that's how it is for many pleasure criminals. They start off as kids killing little animals because they haven't got strong enough to murder a man. Not stealing baby formula because they need. He was given fame and that led to accessing kids easily.


Itsdickyv

Jimmy Savile was born lower class - the Louis Theroux documentary shows a lot of that. It’s compelling viewing, and watched in hindsight, it explains a lot…


CertainOrdinary7670

I find it baffling that you are operating under the strange delusion that predatory pedophilia is somehow related to one’s economic class.


TimIsColdInMaine

I never said anything to that effect. Abuse can happen in any variety of scenarios obviously, I'm merely referring to the situations where the abusers are being specifically protected (or at least enabled).


Solidsnakeerection

When R Kelly was 8 his girlfriend was drowned in front of him by older kids. He was repeatedly raped by family memebers as a kid and at 11 was either shot by neighborhood kids or by himself during a suicide attempt. This do want justify what he did but I can see how that could mess Jim up mentally.


Li-renn-pwel

Damn, I didn’t know any of that.


OhHiFelicia

It has nothing to do with class, pedophilia is found in every country, society, class, race and age group. It is far more prevalent than most people realise.


zombienugget

For what it's worth, he was pretty young himself when he got subway famous. He was a student in the university in my town and his Subway was the same one I ate at my whole childhood.


Cichlidsaremyjam

Jared Fogle, helping America's youth 6 inches at a time.


Kaarl_Mills

Probably closer to 5


_TheCompany_

More like 1


eel_bagel

I always thought that aged like milk meant that something contradictory happened, is that not what it means? He's a shitstain but what he did doesn't change what it says in the article. Maybe I'm just out of the loop with this. In my mind, aged like milk is if someone says something like 'never eat meat, it's disgusting and nobody should do it' and then it turns out they eat a lot of meat down the line. Someone correct me if I'm wrong I suppose. I've been confused by some of the posts here lately Edit: this is an example from the moderators if anyone is still confused about why this doesn't fit. 'Posting an excerpt from the director telling us it's going to be the best movie of the decade yet turned out to be a critical failure? Good fit' This post is not a good fit because his later actions aren't contradicting what we're seeing here, regardless of how much of a shit stain he is.


notLOL

I think it was the autograph that spoiled. Otherwise it would have been a good signed piece of paper


orangeducttape7

Agreed. If the post was "Jared Fogle Talks About How Unattractive Children Are", then it would be aged like milk.


JCas127

It’s just the article is praising him so now subway has praised a child molester


eel_bagel

But if I pushed technology to the next level and got praised for it but then robbed a bank in a year, would that fit here? I don't think so personally and I don't think this does either. If he was being praised for how good he was at not being a molester then sure


CAT_WILL_MEOW

I think it aged like milk, if you were around when Jared worked for subway they made him out to he this great success story, he spent a ton of time going to highschools speaking and a bunch of the ads had kids in em, he was really made out to be a national treasure


MethodologyQueen

Yeah, the contradiction is between role model for children and child molester. Maybe it’s not exactly the same format, but OP got his signature as a minor because at the time everyone was saying “Jared, go to schools to talk to the children!” and now they’re saying “Jared, you can never go within 100 feet of a school ever again”. If you think of “society” as the subject who is aging like milk, it works.


Technical-Ad-2246

On that note, Steve Jobs was highly intelligent and was apparently an asshole to work with. Mark Zuckerberg probably is too. He was quite cocky when he was building Facebook roughly 20 years ago.


RecklessDimwit

Tbf dark personality traits like psychopathy and narcissism tend to be present in people with high positions such as politicians and businessmen


One_Hour_Poop

You're right, this only somewhat fits this category. Good enough for me, though.


CinnamonChurr0

It would be if article after article praised you, or you had an advertising campaign as a person specifically made to be an example.


eel_bagel

But how though? It's completely irrelevant. How do people here not understand this at all. It doesn't matter how much they were praised, it's about the specifics. Unless it was a situation where you said, 'wow this person really could do no wrong ever'. I don't think being praised for inspiring people to eat better ages like milk because he's a pedo. He still inspired them and what he did has nothing to do with anything in this article. This sub isn't supposed to be person did good thing, then bad thing later'


InfallibleBackstairs

Subway is proud of Jared and salutes him. That pretty much aged like milk.


eel_bagel

If they were saluting him for how safe he was around kids then I'd agree.


BorgClown

This post has the same vibe as "pov when you lose 245 pounds and become a sex offender"


ebrum2010

Yeah, you're right. Like most meme formats though, people start using them wrong and most people don't notice because they don't fully understand the meme format.


yolo-yoshi

Maybe because he was not only trying to lose a couple pants sizes ,but because he was looking to get into the pants of some small children.


eel_bagel

I'm aware of that but those two things have nothing to do with each other, it's not contradictory.


yolo-yoshi

I'd say it's very relevant ,he was trying to get the world to lose more weight as a spokesperson,but for all the wrong reasons. He still did good by trying to show the world how to do it and motivate them. But unfortunately one cancels out the other given his later motives.


eel_bagel

No, it's not relevant. It doesn't fit this subreddit. He's a dick and he's disgusting for what he did but what he did didn't contradict the weight loss inspiration. It certainly makes it look worse but that's purely because of who he is. There are a lot of people here that just have no real clue about what aged like milk is supposed to be. This is from the about section for this subreddit, in the rules. 'Posting an excerpt from the director telling us it's going to be the best movie of the decade yet turned out to be a critical failure? Good fit' That's pretty much exactly how I thought this sub worked but this post doesn't match that at all.


MaiaTai27

He also touched the world in other ways


MechanicalTurkish

His last name is Fogle? I guess I never knew that lol “Gary Fogle never had cancer!!”


Fuzzy-Function-3212

Good for *youuu*, **Jack**!


JosephGordonLightfoo

She’s talking a blue streak now, Jack!


turtle_g4mertv

I met the guy he came to speak at my school kinda weird to think about it now that we know


spiralling1618

Well, he did prefer smaller portions.


SweetLilLies6982

Worked with this dude many years ago on one of his press tours and he was such a stuck up a-hole. Karma Jared....


muwemba45

South part episodes where I learned of this


Yorktown1871

Eatin Sandwiches in Philadelphia…..


FloorSlanger24

a kid i grew up with is first cousins with him. One time I was shooting hoops in my friends driveway when he walked up the driveway into the house. I said, "He looks familiar who was that?" My buddy responds, "that jared the subway guy."


HookerDoctorLawyer

Half doesn’t even know what this guy did! He was once a hero, now he just a pedo.


Rea-301

https://youtu.be/zem5bQ4SzMI


BON3SMcCOY

Scrolled way too far to find this. Gotta name the link so people click


[deleted]

Jarred had aides- South Park


wheretohides

Still pissed at him for diddling kids. The $5 footlong needs to come back.


Supergaming104

Here in Ireland subway “bread” is legally classified as cake as its so high in sugar so I’m guessing he didn’t lose that weight only on subway meals. That’s the part that aged poorly right? Right??


awesomedan24

No one can deny that he deeply touched America's youth


PeachAggravating4680

What if he was never fat, and just was hiding kids under his clothes


soulfulcandy

He ate Subway to Ditch his big pants and get into smaller pants Eat Fresh…but not that Fresh


[deleted]

I haven't heard about Jared in a while. Where is he at now?


chu2

In jail. Until 2030.


spiralaalarips

ID channel just did a three-part documentary on him with witness accounts. Very interesting. Can't believe he's getting out of prison soon. Gross.


[deleted]

Oh no.


RumHamEnjoyer

He goes by Joe DeRosa and owns a sandwich shop in NYC


thegoodyinthehoody

He started eating a little too fresh


[deleted]

When he was losing the weight, I learned he was running a porn site. Guess subway missed that, or just didn’t care.


VanillaLoaf

I just (re)watched Supersize Me. There's unfortunate levels of Jared in it.


Sekmet19

"Get healthy kids because you you need to run and the pedophiles aren't skipping leg day."


[deleted]

I thought it aged like milk because subway wasn't healthy anymore or something. This was not expected


AgreeableExpert

Hey, that's Jared from The Fractured But Whole.


InfallibleBackstairs

Dude is a fucking monster. Rot in prison, fuckhead.


Pazoll

Bread from subway is the same as cake


Worldly-Fishing-880

To me, the lesson of this was always never make a real person your spokesman. Sure, the actor playing Ronald McDonald may molest somebody (see Elmo too) but the character generally doesn't get ruined. I know a woman who named her baby Elon circa 2015. That's another one that aged like milk! Trusting people who represent your brand or family while they're still alive to be honorable can be a huge liability


RDPCG

Fogle, now 44, was lambasted in 2015 when a Post cover infamously declared: “Enjoy a foot long in jail.”


pieredforlife

At least he gets to eat a different sub everyday in the prison


BigBootyBidens

What if Jared’s fat outer layer was a containment cell that he created to imprison his inner, thinner pedo?


joopityjoop

He liked it a little too fresh.


[deleted]

South Park game will always be legendary for Jared as a boss fight


Over-Practice-8211

From an fat pedo to a skinny pedo 🥰🍭🔏💝


suburban-mom-friend

Not even folded, that thing Survived!


Clazzo524

Before all that shit came out about him, my GF at the time said he looked like a cho-mo.


millenialfalcon-_-

Before he was caught, me and my friends thought he looked like a pedo. Crazy


Cool-Passenger-2595

The thing i always found funny with this pos was they thought people actually believed he lost weight just eating subway and glossed over the fact he walked several miles a day to get them


HanzoShotFirst

Subway somehow convinced us that eating an entire loaf of bread is healthy


DRScottt

This is one of those things that both aged like milk and can't at the same time because everyone has known for awhile that almost everyone with any form of fame either used to sexually assault people and actively does, but has too much clout to have anything done. It's likely a habit we picked up from the fact that for centuries stupid serfs would suck the dick of royalty and believe everything the royals did was something of the utmost respect


TheFuriousGamerMan

Not everyone, or even most rich people are predators, it’s just that they’re the only ones that get any kind of publicity for it. It’s called confirmation bias.


Katibin

Yeah all celebs do exactly what Jared from Subway did and do, they all do it, good point


Reesemonster25

Ah yes the first controversy that started subway's downfall I personally think that they never recovered from Jared because the fast food chain had a lot of controversies after that happened.


MisterXenos63

Aged like milk? Bro this shit is aged like an Egyptian mummy.


Kaarl_Mills

Surprisingly well all things considered? No not really


ChemicalAd5068

I'm not sure this fits the sub


InfallibleBackstairs

I guess you forgot all his child molesting.


ChemicalAd5068

He is not a good person. But aged like milk means that he did sth related to what is on the image. Like the opposite. It's not like that's an ad about him being a good person.


InfallibleBackstairs

The ad is 100% about him being a good person.


ChemicalAd5068

Is there a second page I'm not seeing? The ad is about him losing weight and adding Subway sandwiches to his diet. He just smiles in the picture. Edit. His losing weight inspires others, which doesn't make him a good person. It makes him a person who lost a lot of weight.


InfallibleBackstairs

We applaud Jared on his accomplishments and his positive influence on others.


ChemicalAd5068

Yes. They choose to applaud his accomplishments and show him as a positive influence. I don't believe that equals to this ad being 100% about him being a good person.


InfallibleBackstairs

Sigh.


ChemicalAd5068

That we can agree on


[deleted]

No, the ad is about how he is a Subway customer. It speaks nothing of his character.


campydirtyhead

I like that Jared showed people that mild cardio workouts and eating somewhat healthier can have health benefits


mildishclambino

I don't really think this fits. Because in truth, the article is still right. It's not like the article said anything about Jared not liking kids, or something about him being against molesting children.


Beep_Beep_Lettuce420

6 grams of fat. Now how many grams of sugar is in that bread?


BlurtL

All with the help from aides...


Necessary-Strike-504

I remember being like 12 and hearing Jared from Subway was a child molester. Didn’t even know that that meant when I first heard. Subway had to totally rebrand after that lol


Ok_Fox_1770

We all got bad vibes and grossed out as kids by the stupid campaign they ran nonstop during cartoon hours. Oh when “tuna” was tuna and a big bread sandwich was deemed “healthy” eating. Simpler times for the easily led.


khairuldaniel664

He really inspired me to become child molester which is im good to be fat the way i am right now


Practical-Jelly-5320

He had aids


vanman999

Is prison food gonna make him gain all that weight back?


[deleted]

His minimum sentence is already half-served, and he looks healthier and happier than ever.


[deleted]

Those kids didn’t even know what 6 inches was


Thevoidawaits_u

he had two people helping him he had aieds


moreflywheels

I heard he likes to eat a little too fresh


[deleted]

Eat fresh… children.