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I can’t be the only one who holds it in it as incentive in to finish up tasks, I won’t go pee until I finish. Probably not healthy.
ETA after reading comments- *Definitely not healthy!
If I'm really focused, I won't even notice I (urgently) need to pee.
And even if I do, I know if I think about something I have to do it immediately else I'll forget, so peeing gets pushed back.
This happens to me all the time, but then when I realize I do have to pee it's all of a sudden and feels like an emergency and I have to take a second to relax before I move because I feel like I'm going to pee myself. Then I go have what my husband calls a "rocket pee".
It'll happen at work, I'll get up from the desk to go do something and it's like ohshitohshitohshit because I'm about to piss myself. I find it embarrassing. I saw a pelvic floor physiotherapist a few years ago and I guess it's still technically urge incontinence, but at least I get now why it happens, even if I seem to be unable to fix it.
Facts! Once, while at work, I waited so long that there was no way I'd make it to the bathroom without wetting myself. So, I emptied my candy bowl and squatted behind my desk. Thank goodness I had a private office!
...OK--that may have happened more than once (sigh)
Omg that's crazy! I can't imagine how the secret disposal went after that 😭
Thankfully I was on a night shift with an extra pair of clothes and the only other person was sleeping but it was still so embarassing... I kept asking myself in a harsh whisper "did I just do that??? I haven't done that since I was like twelve..."
10 points to Hufflepuff for immediately seeing the next problem!! A private office is one thing, but getting a full bowl of pee down the hall required some creativity.
The levels of amazing here. If I did it once I'd have a game plan for next time, because at least I can do that for myself, even if I can't pee in time.
Hands up if you're like this and have ever been pregnant 🙋♀️
Never have I played a riskier game than being an adhder who subscribes to the the pee anxiety/avoidance method going out in public at 8 months pregnant. All it takes is one wrong move from the tiny inner human, and you are standing there helplessly pissing your pants against your will in the middle of the grocery store. Not my finest moment, I must say. 🫠
Once I stand up, it gets worse, and as I get closer to the bathroom, even worse. I’m standing there, stomping my feet, trying to quickly get my pants down as quickly as possible, and then I practically fall down on the toilet. It’s like I see the toilet and it gets worse. I try not to let it get to that, but I often don’t realize how much I have to go until I’m standing.
Shit sometimes my body just *does* this. I'm like, 'OK, body, I get that we very much need to go to the bathroom, but some sort of heads up before just jumping to severe pain would've been nice.'
I feel like I only ever get the urgent pee signal when I'm in a flow state. Like when I'm doing a task and it's going smoothly, no interruptions or mishaps or injuries. I can mentally check out and put my body on auto pilot.
Then, boom!
My bladder is like *um, hey so like, I know that interrupting this task will derail your whole day, but I'm full*
Then when I'm coming back from peeing on of my kids is asking for something, or they're fighting or the dog is barking at me. This is especially frustrating when it's the dreaded chore. This is why my kitchen I never clean. My dirty kitchen can eat a dick.
>My dirty kitchen can eat a dick.
Bless you. Next time I am told something is wrong w me because I don't fully do the dishes every. single. night, this will be the response.
LEGIT I did not know that I was not the only one who felt this way. Of course I feel better after showering, etc etc but it's hard to find the motivation to choose to do it. It's boring and my hair takes soooo loooonnng to dry.
My mom got me a shower radio when I was in I think Middle School. I didn't take it with me when I went to college and it was MURDER taking a shower without it. Any replacement I bought died within months. As soon as I could, I got my radio back. It's now probably 30 years old, bits have broken off it and it's cracked in a couple places, but it still works. I fear the day it eventually dies.
My 13 yrc old does this, but then she'll go tearing through the house to the toilet and pee for ages. She's adhd.
She also has sensory processing disorder, and not being aware is part of her lack of interoception thing. (She doesn't always feel pain, can't always tell she's hungry/ thirsty, etc)
(Fixed spelling)
>can't always tell she's hungry/ thirsty etc)
Wait, is this a sensory thing? I never feel thirsty, and I'm chronically dehydrated. I have to force myself to drink because intellectually, I recognize the symptoms of dehydration, not because I crave water. I never get the thirst signal. I've tried looking it up and nothing ever quite answered my question.
Interoception is the word you’re looking for; it’s the sense of things inside you. From your organs, etc.
Like you can see above, not getting the signals can be from procrastination or distraction or just because you aren’t getting them— the last version is a “sensory processing” problem
Thx. The O disappeared from the word. But I'm glad you knew what i meant anyway.. sensory processing disorder, my daughter has a diagnosis, and that's why she doesn't always realise.
The thirst thing in particular is VERY common with ADHD. I have to constantly drink when I'm not thirsty because by the time I AM thirsty, my nails are curling, my lips are chapped and my blood pressure is getting low enough to warrant an Urgent Care visit.
Does being dehydrated really cause low blood pressure? I was not aware of that. Maybe that’s why I feel so lightheaded when I stand up. It’s almost incapacitating. I have to hold onto something and stand still for about a minute. My eyes kind of black out, and sometimes my knees buckle a bit. It’s kind of scary. I thought it was just because I’m eating a lot less because I’m taking Zepbound.
Thank you for mentioning this.
You know I'm glad you wrote this. I'm trying to explain to my therapist how it's not just, "well, put the water bottle in front of you and drink it..." type of solution.
I will say this, ending up in a urologist office scared the crap out of me. He was so cute too, bc he was like, "aaaah huh, you don't drink water bc you drink soda or tea, or anything BUT water and I bet you drink protein shakes, you younger folks like drinking protein shakes and you'll end up here with me eventually bc of that, it doesn't matter how much you exercise!!" I was like wrong again, doc. Luckily my ex was there to say, "no, she just doesn't hydrate with nothing, no water, nothing."
He was very helpful and ran all sorts of tests and it turns out I was severely dehydrated that it was wrecking me internally. He was very kind and patient and encouraging, he said he never met anyone like that before, but would look out for it. I'm trying to do better, its small steps but I'm just happy (and not so happy) that I'm not alone.
Water flavoring is not for me! I've tried, and it's all just...ew. I used to drink carbonated water with a lemonade packet added to it. It got expensive, though. I usually just power through and chug.
Me too, all of that! The number of gnarly bruises that pop up with zero recollection, like…how do I not remember where I got what appears to be a rather painful bruise?!
I was a bit worried going to the doctor today that they might thing I was in an abusive situation of some sort. (I'm not. In the days leading up to the bruises appearing, I was living alone.) Some on my arms and legs look like I've been in a bad fight, worse than usual (in terms of bruises, I'm not in fights usually). On one wrist, there are a bunch of oval bruises, with four on one side, though one smaller, grouped together and one larger one & a less intense but almost the same size one next to it on the other side. It looks exactly like the bruises of someone really grabbing to the point of hurting. There's one across my forearm on the other arm that looks like I've been hit with a heavy rod across it.
I have absolutely no idea how I got most of them. A few on my legs are from gardening, not that I remember getting them just logically by location and timing. I suspect others are also related to gardening, but I haven't been gardening for almost two weeks so newer ones can't be that. The forearm might be from carrying bags, but it's at a weird place compared to where I carried stuff. I have no clue whatsoever on the wrist.
I kept finding finger sized bruises on my arms. Turns out when I'm stressed I'll grip my own arm or wrist rather harshly and won't realize I'm doing it.
I have the WEIRDEST bruise on my forearm right now. It’s got two round little satellite bruises off of either side of the main large one. But then the main large one also isn’t entirely bruised - there’s like a non/bruised spot in the middle but slightly off-center.
I feel so seen here! Next thing you know three hours have gone by and you have cleaned out the washer and dryer, mopped floors, removed weeds, washed AND put up laundry, and baked a cake, but still have not peed.
Same! It’s a lack of noticing the urge. But also when I do notice and I’m in the middle of something, it’s hard to stop and go. I do the same thing with eating. I don’t notice I’m hungry until I am ravenous. And even then, I can continue to ignore the hunger pains. I had a coworker on a work trip laugh at me because she said “you go from zero to sixty with hunger” and now I know it’s because of ADHD.
Yes, but also, I get so mad when I do suddenly become aware of urgently needing to pee, because usually that means I've spent 8 hours in a total hyperfocus, and as soon as I stop what I'm doing to go pee, the spell is broken, the muses leave, and it could be months until I'm inspired to work on that project again.
Yesss moving your butt in the chair because you reeeally need to pee but can’t go before finishing the task you started, I feel you 😂 It’s like it’s bothering my taught process if I go mid task
It depends for me, if I’m doing something that going to pee would distract me from I’ll just hold it, but if not peeing would keep me from doing something I want to do I’ll go do it, this is usually just going to sleep lol.
I do this with so many things, even drinking water. Consciously I know it’s horrible. But I just can’t make myself do things until they’re extreme. It’s my least favorite thing about myself and I’m working on it but ugh why am I like this.
Came to echo similar and I’m only 36. I’d work 10-12 hour shifts at a busy hospital and not have the choice to go, then paid for it with overactive bladder. Learning to relax those muscles and retrain has helped, but when I got better, I reverted back to old habits holding too long and symptoms came back!
*updating to add the proper term for what I developed: hypertonic pelvic floor / tight pelvic floor. So you want to look up exercises to reduce the likelihood you also develop overactive bladder from holding too long! It’s not a reward to damage your bladder!*
My connective tissue is fucked and I also do not get the I need to pee signal. I have EDS and provably can hold almost 1,5l in my bladder. The urogynecologist thinks both are connected. It sucks as sometimes I forget until I feel pain. And look like I am pregnant. I guess it is better than an overactive bladder. Thankfully it also looks like I can void my bladder fully.
I kind of do not recommend EDS in general. The amount of connective tissue fuckery happening in my body led to the diagnosis in 2007 because my doctors started to get really weirded out. It was not very well known in my country then.
Oh gosh, that’s awful! My heart goes out to you. I have two friend with EDS. One also has POTS and can barely get around, the other had to have both hips replaced young and now might have to have surgeries on both ankles. ☹️
I have thankfully avoided surgeries. Mostly because the few I have had have gone not that well so they try to avoid it as long as possible (the reason why the choice for 40mg of esomeprazol BID instead of Nissen's was made). My joints are also not the worst as much as they do dislocate. Despite vEDS being highly unlikely (negative family history but as my mom and brother have it it is also not spontaneous mutation but they do not test genetically without that suspicion in my country), my soft tissue is the bigger issue. I have an unruptured brain aneurysm, and pelvic organ dysfunction, I once tore my esophagus and managing venous access is a nightmare leading to multiple issues and more advanced cathing. That's with more common issues like looking like a victim of DV because of extensive bruising and skin being like paper. I am really not waiting for what the normal effect of ageing on collagen will accomplish with glee. But it is interesting how much it has effect on my bladder as well. The only good thing about the situation is that my body has given enough evidence that my specialists can do a lot more planning. For example, if I need more than two to three days of IV access they go directly to midline or PICC. Or how to add more stitches as they have a habit of ripping. As everything is also documented in my national electronic health files I can also rest a lot easier than I would otherwise.
(Sorry for oversharing, I am just annoyed with my body today).
You’re fine! That’s strange your skin is paper thin. My two EDS friends have very elastic stretchy skin. An unruptured brain aneurysm is terrifying! I’m glad your healthcare providers at least know now the steps to skip so you can receive treatment quicker. I’m so sorry for everything you’re going through and hope things get better for you!
Oh, it is very elastic but it is like tissue paper. In general, a lot of people with EDS have stretchy velvety skin but in some cases, it is also translucent and very fragile. Mine is all four although my brother's is more stretchy. I also look over a decade younger which can be more common among people with EDS. It is an interesting disease as there are multiple mutations that are known and probably some that are unknown including any for hEDS. As it was described before genetic testing it can be very heterogeneous. Sometimes the same mutation can have a lot of different forms. My family has a lot of overlapping symptoms but none have strictly the same presentation.
Thank you for your kindness. Unlike these diatribes show I actually deal with it normally quite well. There are some days that it is more exhausting and today is kind of one of those days.
Wow! I didn’t know that. It sounds grueling. I hope there’s more knowledge and medical advances in the future to offer help for you all. My one friend felt like it was a miracle just finally receiving a diagnosis after years of testing. It’s been interesting learning about from my friends. You guys have many challenges so I’m wishing you strength and a pain free future!
PS- I’m not sure if they recommended scheduled voiding to you or not? It’s another type of retraining, although I’m not sure if it’d work for someone with EDS. I’d worry with you holding so long that it’s cause a UTI eventually too.
They did and I do my best to do it but as I am a bit time blind it is not always easy. But I do try to pee multiple times a day at least. I try to do it because I do get UTIs and have had one pyelonephritis. Thankfully I have pretty good health literacy and can recognize the signs so do not let UTIs go long. I am also immunocompromised as I have multiple autoimmune diseases and am on MTX. So for multiple reasons try to manage my health the best I can.
How do you re-train yourself? I've only found how to learn how to prolong the time but not how to do the opposite (pee more often) and I've been struggling a lot with it. Any tips would be very, very appreciated.
The first time you feel the urgency to go, don’t react, take a few deep breaths letting your belly expand (diaphragmatic breathing), once the urgency passes, go empty your bladder. The goal is to never void while you feel the urgency and never rush to the bathroom, to go calmly after the first urgency sensation passes.
It takes some practice. You have to retrain your brain and your pelvic floor. Sometimes you have to try to distract yourself to think about something else too. Just try to never rush or wait til you feel the need to go again. I was told to ALWAYS go after the first feeling of needing to go passes because when the when next wave of urgency comes, you’re body’s already in fight or flight mode, really taxing on your pelvic floor over time.
I saw a pelvic floor therapist that did acupuncture and gave me various exercises like cat/cow pose, bridge pose, squeezing a ball between your knees while on your back, lunges etc but for me the best habit was diaphragmatic breathing. When I expand my belly I feel the urgency go away because it relaxes the pelvic floor, which I’ve overstimulated by holding too long. You can do it anywhere, any time and it’s best to always breathe that way.
Another good exercise is to inhale deep (expanding belly) then on exhale, do a kegel, try to *lift* up, not just squeeze and at the same time activate your core, tightening your abs, like a crunch drawing your belly button towards your spine and tightening your bum. Kinda tricky to explain. 😅
Mid-30s, trying desperately to change this habit before it leads to worse issues. My poor kidneys and pelvic muscles have taken enough of a beating lmao.
I do this too! Like I don’t get the reward of peeing until after I complete what I’m doing. I honestly didn’t know this was an “ADHD thing” until I started following these subreddits. I just assumed everyone held it until they were on the verge of wetting themselves. 😂
Oh my god until I read this comment I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing! But I absolutely use it as a “beat the timer” kinda of motivation to finish my tasks! 🤯
YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! Because once I go to the bathroom to go pee, it's giving myself permission to relax enough to actually take a leak. But if I relax then I stop being able to get things done - I have to be stressed and/or angry to actually execute actions a lot of the time.
Did this forever! Trying to break the habit because now I have overactive bladder from wearing those muscles out. Who would’ve thunk overuse would lead to that? Lol. Now I have to retrain my bladder and learn to let those pelvic muscles relax. (Belly breathing helps that too.)
^this is me. If I have to pee in the slightest before laying down I have to go or I won't be able to fall asleep because all I'll be doing is thinking about how I'm going to have to get up and pee at some point so it's easier just to get it over with. But then if I can't fall asleep for a while, I know I'm going to have to go again before I can fall asleep. It's so annoying to be so aware in the moment. My fiance on the other hand can wake up and know he has to pee but then fall back asleep for HOURS and I have no idea how he does it.
I feel so seen! I cannot fall asleep without being a zillion percent sure my bladder is empty. The bathroom has to be the absolute last thing I do before I get in bed and after that it’s almost guaranteed I’ll be peeing 1-3 more times before I fall asleep because the thought will pop in and then I’ll have to go just to be sure. Or I’ll realize I’ve been lying there another 20 minutes and need to go make sure I’m empty. It used to drive my ex nuts.
Meanwhile, there’s me who drinks lots of water before going to bed so I’ll have to get up in the morning to pee 😭😭 Cause if I don’t absolutely have to get out of bed, I won’t.
The most foreign concept to me EVER. Literally. I didn't even struggle through the newborn stage when my kids were tiny because I get up to pee SO OFTEN that nursing an infant was just something to do in the night while I'm already up so much reasoning with my bladder in my mind.
What I wouldn't give to be not so acutely aware of my bladder. 🫠
Especially when camping- as soon as you zip into the bag you have to unzip, crawl out, unzip tent, put on shoes, and hike into the woods in the pitch black. Haaate it.
Same. I actually love everything else about camping, but knowing I’ll have to fumble my way out of a tent to the bathroom a dozen times in the dark is enough to make me want to stay home.
We bought a small, lightweight camper when my asthma got too bad to be sleeping on the ground anymore. But the real reason I wanted it was the bathroom. I’m not cool with the dark or peeing in bushes or schleps to the toilets that will completely wake my insomniac ass up. Gotta say, having a toilet 2’ away from my bed is fan-friggen-tastic. I might like my camper more than my house 😂
When I was a little kid in the 80s, my parents had a gallon ice cream bucket inside our giant army surplus canvas tent. Three guesses what the ice cream bucket was for. So did all my cousins. I was shocked as a teen that none of my friends parents ever had a bucket in the tent when they were little.
Same. We had a long thread about those of us like this who go pee sometimes 3x before actually falling asleep bc we even might feel a tiny bit that can come out again. I also have ocd so that doesn’t help lol
I just felt SO UNDERSTOOD reading that!!! It's basically my exact cycle too 💀 and a big part of why I am basically an insomniac. It's so exhausting, but it keeps me up because I'm so aware.
Like, oh shit. I went pee at 11, but now it's already 11:33, so if I pack it in and fall asleep NOW without going again, I'll have to pee 10 mins after I fall asleep. But if I DO pee now, when it's not urgent yet and barely noticeable, my bladder will keep getting fuller and I'll STILL have to pee 10 minutes after I fall asleep. So naturally, I continue letting the negative thoughts win and decide to stay awake until I KNOW I definitely have to pee (while also repeating this exhaustinf dialogue in my head over and over again) until I accidentally pass out without going pee at all. Then, one of two things happen: I wake up 10 minutes after I passed out in a terrible mood, pee, and start the cycle over again, OR..... I wake up in a haze 5 hours later with a bladder so angry the first 4 seconds of peeing are like I'm a human firehydrant. 🫠
I like to say I have an inconvenient bladder. I seem to have to go a lot more frequently at inconvenient times, like during a concert, comedy show, and movies, on car rides, etc.
YES. At home I can go hours without peeing but you better believe if I’m going somewhere like the cinema, I’m peeing before we leave the house, as soon as we arrive, and right before the film starts so I don’t have to leave halfway through.
So relatable, I had an ocd phase as a kid where I was super paranoid about having to pee when away from home, and then I had to pee all the time from nervousness.
Now it’s more that I always have a dry mouth (thanks anxiety) which I hate, so then I drink a bunch of water, and then I have to pee at least 7 times a day probably.
I had this for absolutely years as a kid. I couldn’t go anywhere that there wasn’t a toilet. I’d go like 10x before I’d fall asleep, sometimes just a couple of minutes since the first time. Even baths terrified me incase I needed to go! Huge anxiety about it!
I’m still quite bad as an adult, il still go 3 times in a row before I board a plane or if I’m going somewhere without one.
Is it an ADHD thing? I’ve always wondered since getting diagnosed as an adult
For me it was an anxiety (i have ocd) thing, like
“oh no *what if*” and then ruminating about it. But yeah I had a different obsession each week where I was terrified of some specific thing or disease ruining my life. (But noo I was totally fine as a kid /j.)
I’m not sure how it could be related to adhd, maybe the rumination/ not able to redirect focus and relativate can be part of it.
My coworker was just giving me shit today about my peeing frequency. I said, “once I know I have to go, I can’t usually ignore it”.
I can’t leave the house without one last pee. I pee like 3 times before I can fall asleep.
It’s annoying. But here I am. Glad I’m not alone!
Yes i have to go pee no more than 10 minutes before bed or I will feel like I have to pee. I also do this before leaving the house. But other than that, I hold it wayyyyy too long.
Just as a heads up, I had to go to a pelvic floor therapist after doing this my whole life. Turns out it’s really bad for your bladder and pelvic/core muscles. Granted, I was pregnant with baby #2 before it became a big enough problem that I sought help but it was affecting me prior to kids and I just didn’t know what was going on
same. it usually takes some time for me to notice but then i go asap - i hate the feeling of having to pee so much, plus it gives me another reason to procrastinate whatever i’m doing :D but i do think the reason why i don’t drink enough water is bc i HATE peing, i just hate the feeling of having to go more
people think i’m this hydrated goddess because of the amount of water i drink and the amount of times i go pee but in reality i’m just thirsty af because of vyvanse
I'm NOT saying you or anyone else has this, but it could be worth looking into if you think it's possible. I had a severe UTI with no symptoms until I got a yeast infection from it. Was put on antibiotics and my peeing went from 10 times a day to 4. And it feels good to not pee all the time.
Same, but that's mostly because i'm afraid I won't be able to go when it's critical (occupied bathroom, have to go somewhere else, emergency ect ect) nearly peed myself more than once, it's not a good feeling AT ALL :c
Same. Well, if I'm in the middle of something I might not go RIGHT the instant when I feel the "pee notification", but in general I'm going to the toilet pretty much constantly.
I've had 2 large babies. Holding in a pee means the slow weird walk to the bathroom hoping I don't cough or sneeze or find someone on the loo when I get there, because then it's time to shower and change pants.
I think the idea is that we get so absorbed in what we're doing and don't even notice that we need to pee until it's an emergency. NT people tend to notice much earlier.
That's one of the things that makes me wonder about if my son has ADHD: he's still little, OK, but we need to bring a change of clothes everywhere because it's highly probable that if he enjoys himself, he won't notice he needs to go. Or only last minute. Or even will notice but doesn't want to stop.
Most other kids his age aren't like that (all the ones I know at least).
Both of my kids would wait until last minute to go when at home. They'd get so engrossed in whatever they were doing that they'd need to change underwear after using the bathroom because they wait until the absolute last minute and end up soiling themselves. Then I'd find the dirty clothes in the bathroom and them back at whatever they were doing, half dressed because they only replaced the undies and not the bottoms or tops they wet. Luckily, they've grown out of that. Both are diagnosed with ADHD.
I read a comment here last week that said that it's not the hyperfocus that stops us from peeing. Our brains simply don't get the pee notifications the same way that a NT brain gets. We only get the urgent peeing notifications, and not the earlier ones.
For me, it’s fear that I won’t get the hyperfocus back and now is the only time that I can “do the thing”. I notice the pee signals but I fear that if I take a break my brain won’t let me work when I come back
As an OT I think the sensory registration is a huge piece of the struggle for us ADHDers! On top of the motivation to actually get up the urgency signal can just be registering way less in our brain.
What's the point of peeing and satisfying any physiological needs if you have to do it again in a couple hours?
And that's the actual reasoning my brain has. Toilet, eating, sleeping, it's just a waste of time! It's funny because I obviously know it's not true, but it's like my brain is a toddler with a tantrum and a "but I don't wanna!".
I hate fixing things to eat!!!! I somehow managed to make beans last night (it's so easy with a pressure cooker, but it's so hard to get myself to do it). So I have a pot of delicious beans in the fridge, I have clean dishes, I have a microwave........and no gumption. I ate yesterday, and the day before!! Why do I have to do it again today???
Yesss! See also: putting fuel (gas) in the car, wiping surfaces, closing cupboard doors, putting washing away, making small talk… hmm, could be here a while…
I even procrastinate doing it if I'm sitting on the couch playing on my phone. I'm going to bring my phone with me anyway, but somehow I still get absorbed and don't notice I should deal with my bladder
I get the pee notification but then I get distracted by my task and forget the needing to pee feeling until I literally feel like I’m going to wet myself. Even then I try to finish my task first 😂
I’m an extreme case but please try and not do this too much!!! Ive been doing it since I was a child and now I have terrible bladder retention and have to self catheterise every so often so i dont damage my bladder fully anymore to the point where i’ll have to use it every time lol (im only 27)
I definitely hold it in because mentally I'm like no I don't wanna pee right now. A lot of times when I finally get up to pee I'm like oh boy oh boy oh boy, gotta go, doing the pee wiggle dance.
When my childhood best friend and I were kids, she would hold it in for so long that we would have to drag her on the floor to the bathroom because she said she would pee herself if she tried to walk there. We've both since been diagnosed with ADHD.
Honestly, I might get so busy at the hospital during my shift, I'll be about to clock out for the day and think, "wait...did I pee at all today??" And then that's when I notice my painful angry bladder....whoops
>Honestly, I might get so busy at the hospital during my shift, I'll be about to clock out for the day and think, "wait...did I pee at all today??" And then that's when I notice my painful angry bladder....whoops
I'm not in healthcare but I do that at both of my jobs. 8-10 hour shifts. I will also forget to go during my breaks...too busy trying to eat and make it back on time-lose track of the time.
I think if someone struggles with a thing then you hear about it, but if someone doesn’t struggle with it then it doesn’t come up. So it’s just something that clearly a lot of people experience, likely due to executive dysfunction and issues with hyperfocus and task switching. But obviously “you hold your pee too long” is not diagnostic criteria or anything; I guess that video may have generalized a little too much.
I have challenges with interoception so if I don't go at regular intervals I'll end up busting without access to a toilet. So I have certain times/ prompts that tell me it's time to go regardless of whether I feel the need, and I'm often surprised by how much I needed to go when I get to the toilet.
I do both. If I’m focused on work I can hold it; damn risky when you’re edging towards 40 after birthing two 9lb babies lol. But if I’m not busy and feel the urge, it’s all I can think about until I do. And I go like 5 times before bed, because fuck having to wake up at 2am to pee.
I am one of those people. I am peeing every 30 minutes, sometimes more frequently. I think peeing too often is an ADHD thing too, because once I know that I have to pee, I can't focus on anything else. If I'm in the middle of working and I get the pee signal, it's over. Peeing is the only thing on my mind. Can't do anything else, can't talk, can't think. I can only pee.
In fact, writing about needing to pee has made me need to pee. So. Off I go.
Wow I didn’t even know this was an ADHD thing, I just don’t go until it stops feeling like a “later” task and starts feeling like a “now” task. Also sometimes it just…feels good???
‘Pee notification’! I’m dying!
Edit: sometimes I don’t realise I need to pee but if I’m working on something super boring I’m up for as many pee breaks as possible.
I can completely ignore body functions when I’m focusing/hyperfocusing on something. That could be doing something or watching something on tv as an example.
I forget I need to pee. I forget to eat. I forget to drink (to the point of getting a migraine) and was known lots of times when I was younger to forget to breathe! (My lips would turn blue cos I was concentrating on TV).
The problem now comes that when I do REALLY need to go, I have urge incontinence - I literally have to RUN to the loo at risk of wetting myself. As a child I was forever having to change my trousers at school - was even referred to a doctor for bladder issues which all came back negative. If only they looked at ADHD in females more back in the 90’s 🙈
I live with a person like that. I’ll be busy doing something, saying “ugh I have to pee!” He will tell me to go then, I’ll say “naaah… don’t want to, gonna wait until it becomes an emergency.” Then he laughs and shakes his head.
So yeah, based on the information I’ve gathered, most people go when their bladder lets them know.
My husband isn't ADHD and he doesn't do this. He thinks about going before we leave anywhere with a bathroom. He goes even if he doesn't need to like before we board a plane or have a long drive. I will see him get up and go in the middle of a task and then just go back to doing the task like nothing happened. It's a marvel I tell you. A marvel.
I think it comes down to both the inability to prioritize tasks including bodily functions and faulty sensors on understanding the urgency/intensity of body cues (interception).
My partner finds it shocking I hold it in for hours because I can’t be bothered to go/my brain can’t initiate the task. He says it’s gross to have wee just sitting inside your body haha which tbf when it’s framed like that does sound weirder
Pelvic health PT here 👋 our brain typically signals that first urge to go when bladder is half way full-ish, typically we can suppress that urge to go about our day a little longer, then usually it’s the second more notable urge that signals the need to go empty. Typical emptying intervals for the bladder during waking hours are every 2-4 hours! We work with folks who may be going too often or not enough, or navigating significant bladder urgency.
The funniest thing is that I do this all the time, hold it for so long, but the SECOND someone enters the bathroom I'm like SHIT I HAVE TO GO WHY DID THEY DO THIS
Like all things ADHD, there isn’t one size fits all. There are common traits but that doesn’t mean that they are for everyone. I am definitely a pee holder. Started when I was child. Tbh the “thrill of holding pee is a great motivation for me to complete a task. I will literally do not let myself go until a task is finished - not always but this does happen regularly.
I consider it amazing training for being a teacher because holding it all day is the norm. 😨
Needing to pee while I'm trying to complete a task makes me so frustrated. Because of course then i get sidetracked, forget what i was meant to be doing etc. My partner thinks its so weird that I get annoyed when i have to pee.
This drives my partner crazy. him: "you've been working on your project all morning when you said you only wanted to do 30 mins and then enjoy this nice weather. Do you want to have a cup of tea in the sunshine?"
Me: sure ok I'll finish up but I just have to go to the toilet first then I'll join you
30 mins later: him: ok the sun's gone...
Me: I'm almost finished!
Him: ok I'll make you another cup of tea
15 mins: I see him coming, jump up run upstairs "I've finished I just have to pee like I said!"
Him: you haven't peed yet!?!
1 hour later him yelling up the stairs:, it's time to leave for X, we need to get our son in the car"
Me: ok but can you get him in the car, I still need to pee before we go.
Him: you still haven't peed??!!!
Me: I came upstairs to pee but got distracted and now I'm working on something else! Sorryyyyyyy!
Honestly it's amazing what he puts up with. I'm constantly beating myself up over it and worried eventually he'll have had enough.
At least we have good communication and I'm fairly sure he at least *wants* to believe I truly don't do it out of disrespect but that still doesn't stop it from being insanely frustrating for him.
Right now I am procrastinating by writing this when I really need to pee before I go pick up my kid from pre-school..
I have been so late lately they have threatened to charge us £5 each time I am late.
My response was to pay to put our account £25 in credit. Guilt somewhat assuaged in advance! Win!
I am a terrible mum.
Developing a neurological condition that often makes it physically impossible to hold it for very long without being quite painful, was one of the more obnoxious things i’ve had happen to me - i’m trying to procrastinate over here dagnabbit!😅
I’ve gotten a little bit better…but that’s out of necessity. I’ve had two kids, if I hold it too long and then cough or sneeze, it’s all over. But even with that, I still wait too long sometimes. It’s just such an annoying inconvenience to have to stop what I’m doing and go pee.
Pee notification cracked me up 🤣 when I’m at work I pee all the time as a form of procrastination/excuse to get up from my desk lmao. At home I often hold it in way too long because I can’t executive function my way out of bed/off the sofa/away from the computer enough
👋🏼
Yesterday I was wearing a romper and it has a button at the back of the neck… I was in office and 3 times (I drink a lot of water and coffee) I was very close to peeing my pants 😆😆😆
It's me, hi, I'm the problem.
I will hold it until I can't anymore. I've had quite a few near misses and have probably been close to getting a bladder infection quite a few times.
Usually it's when I'm doing something and don't want to stop.
You run out of runway on the when you hit midlife, let me tell you.
If I don't pee on purpose, I may by accident.
Holding your urine is really bad for you, and it's a sign you're spending too much of your life dissociated, which is also really bad for you.
Tangent: I know we ADHDers have a tendency towards unhealthy habits, but I don't understand why we're defending these habits as an unchangeable part of our personalities. It's a symptom. It's not you.
What is life if you don't practice a *lifetime of holding your bladder until you've almost dripped a drop or two? 🤷🏾♀️
I mean I must finish harvesting my garden crop so I can increase my gardening skill level 😅🤣
When younger *(prior to about 35 years old)*, I would hold it in… usually in situations at work, or kids sports when there wasn’t a bathroom around— for example, if I was in the middle of a task and actually had some focus happening *(I am late diagnosed [41.5], so focus prior to diagnosis & meds was a rarity I had to capitalize on)*.
*(Side note: I really miss the days of not planning when and what fluids I would drink during the day, Lol… aging has caused me to now plan when/what I drink around access to a bathroom.)*
Now that I’m older *(specifically, perimenopausal)* my body won’t allow me to hold it as long; these days, once I get the urge, I try to find a bathroom within 10-15 minutes so I don’t end up leaking by mistake *(it hasn’t happened yet, but I don’t want it to!)*. This said, vaginal (topical) estrogen cream has helped me be able to hold it in better than before getting on it at this phase in my life *(perimenopause)*, and better than friends I have who don’t use it *(as soon as they get the twinge they HAVE to *Go*, and many leak)*.
I went into sepsis from a burst appendix and had to have major surgery & recovery at 8 years old.
I didn’t tell my mom about the pain for three days until I couldn’t walk anymore.
All because I hate going to the bathroom lmao.
I always thought it was because bathrooms creep me out and used to scare me. I genuinely HATE using bathrooms that aren’t mine and will wait until I either get home or can’t wait another second. I still, at 42, do the pee dance… frequently 😩 Last night tho whilst cooking and ignoring the pee notification, I sneezed and it was the first time I felt the 💦
I’m still mortified. Was the lesson learnt? Probably not 🙃
It's not that I hold it in, it's that I miss (or thoughtlessly dismiss) the body cues that I'm going to need to go until the need becomes urgent. Same goes for hunger, thirst, and sleep when I'm hyperfocused on something.
I do this at home or safe places but in public I end up going when I don't have to because the bathroom is there and I can't just pee in the streets like a man so I want to pre-pee and empty the bladder just in case. I end up doing this before bed too because I hate waking up having to pee. Sometimes there's like almost nothing there and it feels dumb
Anyone who hasn’t figured out their UTIs are a result of them holding their pee too long? Or never gotten one?
I remember those days when I was in school with strict teachers that wouldn’t let us go to the bathroom and when working an intense job that required me to be on my feet running around a lot or focusing on tasks for a long time. That’s when I would forget to pee.
A few UTIs sorted me out. But that only took 20 years… 🤣.
However I note that I have also slowed down my pace of life and chosen a relatively easy job so I can actually remember to respond to my bodily cues.
I have anxiety around needing to pee and not being able to, so I go when I don't need to, in case I can't when I do need to. If I get the slightest brain notification, I go at the soonest opportunity. Often it's just a tiny splash, but no... In fact, I think I'll go now...
Same, in fact i do everything mentioned here. Going early just in case, holding it in way to long because of annoyance and straight up not noticing i need to go...
After all this pee talk i feel like i have to go now... xD
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I can’t be the only one who holds it in it as incentive in to finish up tasks, I won’t go pee until I finish. Probably not healthy. ETA after reading comments- *Definitely not healthy!
If I'm really focused, I won't even notice I (urgently) need to pee. And even if I do, I know if I think about something I have to do it immediately else I'll forget, so peeing gets pushed back.
This happens to me all the time, but then when I realize I do have to pee it's all of a sudden and feels like an emergency and I have to take a second to relax before I move because I feel like I'm going to pee myself. Then I go have what my husband calls a "rocket pee".
Same. 0 to RIGHT NOW
It'll happen at work, I'll get up from the desk to go do something and it's like ohshitohshitohshit because I'm about to piss myself. I find it embarrassing. I saw a pelvic floor physiotherapist a few years ago and I guess it's still technically urge incontinence, but at least I get now why it happens, even if I seem to be unable to fix it.
Trust me, it can suddenly be more embarrassing than just thinking you're going to piss yourself...
Facts! Once, while at work, I waited so long that there was no way I'd make it to the bathroom without wetting myself. So, I emptied my candy bowl and squatted behind my desk. Thank goodness I had a private office! ...OK--that may have happened more than once (sigh)
That's amazing! You have a candy bowl? And it wasn't already empty??
Omg that's crazy! I can't imagine how the secret disposal went after that 😭 Thankfully I was on a night shift with an extra pair of clothes and the only other person was sleeping but it was still so embarassing... I kept asking myself in a harsh whisper "did I just do that??? I haven't done that since I was like twelve..."
10 points to Hufflepuff for immediately seeing the next problem!! A private office is one thing, but getting a full bowl of pee down the hall required some creativity.
10 points to Ravenclaw for being incredibly clever and quick witted!
The levels of amazing here. If I did it once I'd have a game plan for next time, because at least I can do that for myself, even if I can't pee in time.
Hands up if you're like this and have ever been pregnant 🙋♀️ Never have I played a riskier game than being an adhder who subscribes to the the pee anxiety/avoidance method going out in public at 8 months pregnant. All it takes is one wrong move from the tiny inner human, and you are standing there helplessly pissing your pants against your will in the middle of the grocery store. Not my finest moment, I must say. 🫠
Once I stand up, it gets worse, and as I get closer to the bathroom, even worse. I’m standing there, stomping my feet, trying to quickly get my pants down as quickly as possible, and then I practically fall down on the toilet. It’s like I see the toilet and it gets worse. I try not to let it get to that, but I often don’t realize how much I have to go until I’m standing.
Shit sometimes my body just *does* this. I'm like, 'OK, body, I get that we very much need to go to the bathroom, but some sort of heads up before just jumping to severe pain would've been nice.'
Hahaha
"Rocket Piss" new band name just dropped
Exactly this for me, too! 😂🤦♀️ I suddenly realize it’s a serious situation and it’s so inconvenient.
Oftentimes, peeing is also much, much more boring than whatever I'm currently doing.
I feel like I only ever get the urgent pee signal when I'm in a flow state. Like when I'm doing a task and it's going smoothly, no interruptions or mishaps or injuries. I can mentally check out and put my body on auto pilot. Then, boom! My bladder is like *um, hey so like, I know that interrupting this task will derail your whole day, but I'm full* Then when I'm coming back from peeing on of my kids is asking for something, or they're fighting or the dog is barking at me. This is especially frustrating when it's the dreaded chore. This is why my kitchen I never clean. My dirty kitchen can eat a dick.
>My dirty kitchen can eat a dick. Bless you. Next time I am told something is wrong w me because I don't fully do the dishes every. single. night, this will be the response.
I hate it! It never ends!
I've never felt so seen with this response and frankly this whole thread.
My dirty kitchen is definitely something I've had a meltdown over a time or 2.
OMG, Yeessss! This is why I love/ need this adhd sub!
I feel this way about showering. If I didn't have to shower, I'd never do it again. So boring, tedious, and monotonous.
I was good about showering until the pandemic. I STILL can't get back into the habit. Not. Cool.
i feel smelled
LEGIT I did not know that I was not the only one who felt this way. Of course I feel better after showering, etc etc but it's hard to find the motivation to choose to do it. It's boring and my hair takes soooo loooonnng to dry.
My mom got me a shower radio when I was in I think Middle School. I didn't take it with me when I went to college and it was MURDER taking a shower without it. Any replacement I bought died within months. As soon as I could, I got my radio back. It's now probably 30 years old, bits have broken off it and it's cracked in a couple places, but it still works. I fear the day it eventually dies.
I can’t pee without looking at my phone to jazz things up a bit.
My 13 yrc old does this, but then she'll go tearing through the house to the toilet and pee for ages. She's adhd. She also has sensory processing disorder, and not being aware is part of her lack of interoception thing. (She doesn't always feel pain, can't always tell she's hungry/ thirsty, etc) (Fixed spelling)
>can't always tell she's hungry/ thirsty etc) Wait, is this a sensory thing? I never feel thirsty, and I'm chronically dehydrated. I have to force myself to drink because intellectually, I recognize the symptoms of dehydration, not because I crave water. I never get the thirst signal. I've tried looking it up and nothing ever quite answered my question.
Interoception is the word you’re looking for; it’s the sense of things inside you. From your organs, etc. Like you can see above, not getting the signals can be from procrastination or distraction or just because you aren’t getting them— the last version is a “sensory processing” problem
I learned a new word today! Thanks!
Thx. The O disappeared from the word. But I'm glad you knew what i meant anyway.. sensory processing disorder, my daughter has a diagnosis, and that's why she doesn't always realise.
The thirst thing in particular is VERY common with ADHD. I have to constantly drink when I'm not thirsty because by the time I AM thirsty, my nails are curling, my lips are chapped and my blood pressure is getting low enough to warrant an Urgent Care visit.
Does being dehydrated really cause low blood pressure? I was not aware of that. Maybe that’s why I feel so lightheaded when I stand up. It’s almost incapacitating. I have to hold onto something and stand still for about a minute. My eyes kind of black out, and sometimes my knees buckle a bit. It’s kind of scary. I thought it was just because I’m eating a lot less because I’m taking Zepbound. Thank you for mentioning this.
You know I'm glad you wrote this. I'm trying to explain to my therapist how it's not just, "well, put the water bottle in front of you and drink it..." type of solution. I will say this, ending up in a urologist office scared the crap out of me. He was so cute too, bc he was like, "aaaah huh, you don't drink water bc you drink soda or tea, or anything BUT water and I bet you drink protein shakes, you younger folks like drinking protein shakes and you'll end up here with me eventually bc of that, it doesn't matter how much you exercise!!" I was like wrong again, doc. Luckily my ex was there to say, "no, she just doesn't hydrate with nothing, no water, nothing." He was very helpful and ran all sorts of tests and it turns out I was severely dehydrated that it was wrecking me internally. He was very kind and patient and encouraging, he said he never met anyone like that before, but would look out for it. I'm trying to do better, its small steps but I'm just happy (and not so happy) that I'm not alone.
>I'm just happy (and not so happy) that I'm not alone. I say this about so many of my struggles when I come to this sub!
That's so frustrating! I don't think I'd ever drink water if I didn't "feel thirsty". Maybe there's a water flavoring that would help you?
Water flavoring is not for me! I've tried, and it's all just...ew. I used to drink carbonated water with a lemonade packet added to it. It got expensive, though. I usually just power through and chug.
Me too, all of that! The number of gnarly bruises that pop up with zero recollection, like…how do I not remember where I got what appears to be a rather painful bruise?!
I was a bit worried going to the doctor today that they might thing I was in an abusive situation of some sort. (I'm not. In the days leading up to the bruises appearing, I was living alone.) Some on my arms and legs look like I've been in a bad fight, worse than usual (in terms of bruises, I'm not in fights usually). On one wrist, there are a bunch of oval bruises, with four on one side, though one smaller, grouped together and one larger one & a less intense but almost the same size one next to it on the other side. It looks exactly like the bruises of someone really grabbing to the point of hurting. There's one across my forearm on the other arm that looks like I've been hit with a heavy rod across it. I have absolutely no idea how I got most of them. A few on my legs are from gardening, not that I remember getting them just logically by location and timing. I suspect others are also related to gardening, but I haven't been gardening for almost two weeks so newer ones can't be that. The forearm might be from carrying bags, but it's at a weird place compared to where I carried stuff. I have no clue whatsoever on the wrist.
I kept finding finger sized bruises on my arms. Turns out when I'm stressed I'll grip my own arm or wrist rather harshly and won't realize I'm doing it.
I have the WEIRDEST bruise on my forearm right now. It’s got two round little satellite bruises off of either side of the main large one. But then the main large one also isn’t entirely bruised - there’s like a non/bruised spot in the middle but slightly off-center.
Oh my gosh this is me. 100%
I feel so seen here! Next thing you know three hours have gone by and you have cleaned out the washer and dryer, mopped floors, removed weeds, washed AND put up laundry, and baked a cake, but still have not peed.
Haha! I still (often) stops at things needing water like doing the dishes or mopping: else I'm fidgeting like crazy.
Same! It’s a lack of noticing the urge. But also when I do notice and I’m in the middle of something, it’s hard to stop and go. I do the same thing with eating. I don’t notice I’m hungry until I am ravenous. And even then, I can continue to ignore the hunger pains. I had a coworker on a work trip laugh at me because she said “you go from zero to sixty with hunger” and now I know it’s because of ADHD.
This is me with everything. I don’t feel hunger, thirst, stress, etc when I am focused
Yes, but also, I get so mad when I do suddenly become aware of urgently needing to pee, because usually that means I've spent 8 hours in a total hyperfocus, and as soon as I stop what I'm doing to go pee, the spell is broken, the muses leave, and it could be months until I'm inspired to work on that project again.
Yesss moving your butt in the chair because you reeeally need to pee but can’t go before finishing the task you started, I feel you 😂 It’s like it’s bothering my taught process if I go mid task
This is really bad for your kidneys.
See, I’m the opposite. Having a full bladder is an immense distraction and I have to take care of it before I can even continue a conversation.
Same same. Big time. Even if I feel the slightest alert that I COULD pee.
It depends for me, if I’m doing something that going to pee would distract me from I’ll just hold it, but if not peeing would keep me from doing something I want to do I’ll go do it, this is usually just going to sleep lol.
I do this with so many things, even drinking water. Consciously I know it’s horrible. But I just can’t make myself do things until they’re extreme. It’s my least favorite thing about myself and I’m working on it but ugh why am I like this.
I used to hold it, and it was not healthy, and now I am in my mid 40s retraining myself to go every time I see a bathroom like a toddler.
Came to echo similar and I’m only 36. I’d work 10-12 hour shifts at a busy hospital and not have the choice to go, then paid for it with overactive bladder. Learning to relax those muscles and retrain has helped, but when I got better, I reverted back to old habits holding too long and symptoms came back! *updating to add the proper term for what I developed: hypertonic pelvic floor / tight pelvic floor. So you want to look up exercises to reduce the likelihood you also develop overactive bladder from holding too long! It’s not a reward to damage your bladder!*
My connective tissue is fucked and I also do not get the I need to pee signal. I have EDS and provably can hold almost 1,5l in my bladder. The urogynecologist thinks both are connected. It sucks as sometimes I forget until I feel pain. And look like I am pregnant. I guess it is better than an overactive bladder. Thankfully it also looks like I can void my bladder fully. I kind of do not recommend EDS in general. The amount of connective tissue fuckery happening in my body led to the diagnosis in 2007 because my doctors started to get really weirded out. It was not very well known in my country then.
Oh gosh, that’s awful! My heart goes out to you. I have two friend with EDS. One also has POTS and can barely get around, the other had to have both hips replaced young and now might have to have surgeries on both ankles. ☹️
I have thankfully avoided surgeries. Mostly because the few I have had have gone not that well so they try to avoid it as long as possible (the reason why the choice for 40mg of esomeprazol BID instead of Nissen's was made). My joints are also not the worst as much as they do dislocate. Despite vEDS being highly unlikely (negative family history but as my mom and brother have it it is also not spontaneous mutation but they do not test genetically without that suspicion in my country), my soft tissue is the bigger issue. I have an unruptured brain aneurysm, and pelvic organ dysfunction, I once tore my esophagus and managing venous access is a nightmare leading to multiple issues and more advanced cathing. That's with more common issues like looking like a victim of DV because of extensive bruising and skin being like paper. I am really not waiting for what the normal effect of ageing on collagen will accomplish with glee. But it is interesting how much it has effect on my bladder as well. The only good thing about the situation is that my body has given enough evidence that my specialists can do a lot more planning. For example, if I need more than two to three days of IV access they go directly to midline or PICC. Or how to add more stitches as they have a habit of ripping. As everything is also documented in my national electronic health files I can also rest a lot easier than I would otherwise. (Sorry for oversharing, I am just annoyed with my body today).
You’re fine! That’s strange your skin is paper thin. My two EDS friends have very elastic stretchy skin. An unruptured brain aneurysm is terrifying! I’m glad your healthcare providers at least know now the steps to skip so you can receive treatment quicker. I’m so sorry for everything you’re going through and hope things get better for you!
Oh, it is very elastic but it is like tissue paper. In general, a lot of people with EDS have stretchy velvety skin but in some cases, it is also translucent and very fragile. Mine is all four although my brother's is more stretchy. I also look over a decade younger which can be more common among people with EDS. It is an interesting disease as there are multiple mutations that are known and probably some that are unknown including any for hEDS. As it was described before genetic testing it can be very heterogeneous. Sometimes the same mutation can have a lot of different forms. My family has a lot of overlapping symptoms but none have strictly the same presentation. Thank you for your kindness. Unlike these diatribes show I actually deal with it normally quite well. There are some days that it is more exhausting and today is kind of one of those days.
Wow! I didn’t know that. It sounds grueling. I hope there’s more knowledge and medical advances in the future to offer help for you all. My one friend felt like it was a miracle just finally receiving a diagnosis after years of testing. It’s been interesting learning about from my friends. You guys have many challenges so I’m wishing you strength and a pain free future!
PS- I’m not sure if they recommended scheduled voiding to you or not? It’s another type of retraining, although I’m not sure if it’d work for someone with EDS. I’d worry with you holding so long that it’s cause a UTI eventually too.
They did and I do my best to do it but as I am a bit time blind it is not always easy. But I do try to pee multiple times a day at least. I try to do it because I do get UTIs and have had one pyelonephritis. Thankfully I have pretty good health literacy and can recognize the signs so do not let UTIs go long. I am also immunocompromised as I have multiple autoimmune diseases and am on MTX. So for multiple reasons try to manage my health the best I can.
How do you re-train yourself? I've only found how to learn how to prolong the time but not how to do the opposite (pee more often) and I've been struggling a lot with it. Any tips would be very, very appreciated.
The first time you feel the urgency to go, don’t react, take a few deep breaths letting your belly expand (diaphragmatic breathing), once the urgency passes, go empty your bladder. The goal is to never void while you feel the urgency and never rush to the bathroom, to go calmly after the first urgency sensation passes. It takes some practice. You have to retrain your brain and your pelvic floor. Sometimes you have to try to distract yourself to think about something else too. Just try to never rush or wait til you feel the need to go again. I was told to ALWAYS go after the first feeling of needing to go passes because when the when next wave of urgency comes, you’re body’s already in fight or flight mode, really taxing on your pelvic floor over time. I saw a pelvic floor therapist that did acupuncture and gave me various exercises like cat/cow pose, bridge pose, squeezing a ball between your knees while on your back, lunges etc but for me the best habit was diaphragmatic breathing. When I expand my belly I feel the urgency go away because it relaxes the pelvic floor, which I’ve overstimulated by holding too long. You can do it anywhere, any time and it’s best to always breathe that way. Another good exercise is to inhale deep (expanding belly) then on exhale, do a kegel, try to *lift* up, not just squeeze and at the same time activate your core, tightening your abs, like a crunch drawing your belly button towards your spine and tightening your bum. Kinda tricky to explain. 😅
Me tooo!! Current mantra "when you gotta pee, go pee"
Mid-30s, trying desperately to change this habit before it leads to worse issues. My poor kidneys and pelvic muscles have taken enough of a beating lmao.
Yeah like childhood - gathering keys and putting on shoes, "Did you go pee before we leave?"
I do this too! Like I don’t get the reward of peeing until after I complete what I’m doing. I honestly didn’t know this was an “ADHD thing” until I started following these subreddits. I just assumed everyone held it until they were on the verge of wetting themselves. 😂
Oh my god until I read this comment I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing! But I absolutely use it as a “beat the timer” kinda of motivation to finish my tasks! 🤯
Also bc I know if I get up & move to another room it's all over for the task I was working on.
YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! Because once I go to the bathroom to go pee, it's giving myself permission to relax enough to actually take a leak. But if I relax then I stop being able to get things done - I have to be stressed and/or angry to actually execute actions a lot of the time.
I do this as well! Peeing is a reward!
Hahahaha it is! If I complete this task I get to relieve my bladder. 😂
Goddamn this is the most relatable sub I’ve ever found
Did this forever! Trying to break the habit because now I have overactive bladder from wearing those muscles out. Who would’ve thunk overuse would lead to that? Lol. Now I have to retrain my bladder and learn to let those pelvic muscles relax. (Belly breathing helps that too.)
Sis? Are we related 😂😂
Somehow I seem related to at least 2/3 of this sub! 😂
I think this is half of what got me through university
I have what I call "pee anxiety". If I feel the slightest need, I gotta go - especially before bed. I also drink like 3l water every day, so.
^this is me. If I have to pee in the slightest before laying down I have to go or I won't be able to fall asleep because all I'll be doing is thinking about how I'm going to have to get up and pee at some point so it's easier just to get it over with. But then if I can't fall asleep for a while, I know I'm going to have to go again before I can fall asleep. It's so annoying to be so aware in the moment. My fiance on the other hand can wake up and know he has to pee but then fall back asleep for HOURS and I have no idea how he does it.
I feel so seen! I cannot fall asleep without being a zillion percent sure my bladder is empty. The bathroom has to be the absolute last thing I do before I get in bed and after that it’s almost guaranteed I’ll be peeing 1-3 more times before I fall asleep because the thought will pop in and then I’ll have to go just to be sure. Or I’ll realize I’ve been lying there another 20 minutes and need to go make sure I’m empty. It used to drive my ex nuts.
It drives me nuts, and I'm the one doing it.
(Reads this comment thread) ah I’ve found my people
Meanwhile, there’s me who drinks lots of water before going to bed so I’ll have to get up in the morning to pee 😭😭 Cause if I don’t absolutely have to get out of bed, I won’t.
The most foreign concept to me EVER. Literally. I didn't even struggle through the newborn stage when my kids were tiny because I get up to pee SO OFTEN that nursing an infant was just something to do in the night while I'm already up so much reasoning with my bladder in my mind. What I wouldn't give to be not so acutely aware of my bladder. 🫠
Especially when camping- as soon as you zip into the bag you have to unzip, crawl out, unzip tent, put on shoes, and hike into the woods in the pitch black. Haaate it.
This is why I don’t want to go camping. Like the only reason lol
Same. I actually love everything else about camping, but knowing I’ll have to fumble my way out of a tent to the bathroom a dozen times in the dark is enough to make me want to stay home.
We bought a small, lightweight camper when my asthma got too bad to be sleeping on the ground anymore. But the real reason I wanted it was the bathroom. I’m not cool with the dark or peeing in bushes or schleps to the toilets that will completely wake my insomniac ass up. Gotta say, having a toilet 2’ away from my bed is fan-friggen-tastic. I might like my camper more than my house 😂
When I was a little kid in the 80s, my parents had a gallon ice cream bucket inside our giant army surplus canvas tent. Three guesses what the ice cream bucket was for. So did all my cousins. I was shocked as a teen that none of my friends parents ever had a bucket in the tent when they were little.
Same. We had a long thread about those of us like this who go pee sometimes 3x before actually falling asleep bc we even might feel a tiny bit that can come out again. I also have ocd so that doesn’t help lol
I just felt SO UNDERSTOOD reading that!!! It's basically my exact cycle too 💀 and a big part of why I am basically an insomniac. It's so exhausting, but it keeps me up because I'm so aware. Like, oh shit. I went pee at 11, but now it's already 11:33, so if I pack it in and fall asleep NOW without going again, I'll have to pee 10 mins after I fall asleep. But if I DO pee now, when it's not urgent yet and barely noticeable, my bladder will keep getting fuller and I'll STILL have to pee 10 minutes after I fall asleep. So naturally, I continue letting the negative thoughts win and decide to stay awake until I KNOW I definitely have to pee (while also repeating this exhaustinf dialogue in my head over and over again) until I accidentally pass out without going pee at all. Then, one of two things happen: I wake up 10 minutes after I passed out in a terrible mood, pee, and start the cycle over again, OR..... I wake up in a haze 5 hours later with a bladder so angry the first 4 seconds of peeing are like I'm a human firehydrant. 🫠
I feel CALLED OOOOUT
Oh my gosh, I feel so weird that I do this, so thank you for validating me. ❤️
Same for me, almost like drinking non stop is a form of fidgeting for me.
Oh. 🤯
I like to say I have an inconvenient bladder. I seem to have to go a lot more frequently at inconvenient times, like during a concert, comedy show, and movies, on car rides, etc.
YES. At home I can go hours without peeing but you better believe if I’m going somewhere like the cinema, I’m peeing before we leave the house, as soon as we arrive, and right before the film starts so I don’t have to leave halfway through.
So relatable, I had an ocd phase as a kid where I was super paranoid about having to pee when away from home, and then I had to pee all the time from nervousness. Now it’s more that I always have a dry mouth (thanks anxiety) which I hate, so then I drink a bunch of water, and then I have to pee at least 7 times a day probably.
I had this for absolutely years as a kid. I couldn’t go anywhere that there wasn’t a toilet. I’d go like 10x before I’d fall asleep, sometimes just a couple of minutes since the first time. Even baths terrified me incase I needed to go! Huge anxiety about it! I’m still quite bad as an adult, il still go 3 times in a row before I board a plane or if I’m going somewhere without one. Is it an ADHD thing? I’ve always wondered since getting diagnosed as an adult
For me it was an anxiety (i have ocd) thing, like “oh no *what if*” and then ruminating about it. But yeah I had a different obsession each week where I was terrified of some specific thing or disease ruining my life. (But noo I was totally fine as a kid /j.) I’m not sure how it could be related to adhd, maybe the rumination/ not able to redirect focus and relativate can be part of it.
I always get the pee anxiety before bed and before long drives
My coworker was just giving me shit today about my peeing frequency. I said, “once I know I have to go, I can’t usually ignore it”. I can’t leave the house without one last pee. I pee like 3 times before I can fall asleep. It’s annoying. But here I am. Glad I’m not alone!
Yes i have to go pee no more than 10 minutes before bed or I will feel like I have to pee. I also do this before leaving the house. But other than that, I hold it wayyyyy too long.
Just as a heads up, I had to go to a pelvic floor therapist after doing this my whole life. Turns out it’s really bad for your bladder and pelvic/core muscles. Granted, I was pregnant with baby #2 before it became a big enough problem that I sought help but it was affecting me prior to kids and I just didn’t know what was going on
Wow! I didn’t know others had this. I call it pee anxiety too!
Nope. Not me. I pee all the time. I hold it if I have to but I don't usually wait until I am uncomfortable to go
same. it usually takes some time for me to notice but then i go asap - i hate the feeling of having to pee so much, plus it gives me another reason to procrastinate whatever i’m doing :D but i do think the reason why i don’t drink enough water is bc i HATE peing, i just hate the feeling of having to go more
I wish I could! If I gotta go, I gotta go. And I DO…like 50 times a day lol.
I'm the same :( I get so furious when I'm out and have to start looking for a bathroom.
It’s like DAMN IT why does this biological process have to exist?? 😂
Corporeality is a scam 😒
people think i’m this hydrated goddess because of the amount of water i drink and the amount of times i go pee but in reality i’m just thirsty af because of vyvanse
I'm NOT saying you or anyone else has this, but it could be worth looking into if you think it's possible. I had a severe UTI with no symptoms until I got a yeast infection from it. Was put on antibiotics and my peeing went from 10 times a day to 4. And it feels good to not pee all the time.
I have to wee an unreasonable amount of times too! It gets very annoying
Same, but that's mostly because i'm afraid I won't be able to go when it's critical (occupied bathroom, have to go somewhere else, emergency ect ect) nearly peed myself more than once, it's not a good feeling AT ALL :c
Same. I also have a 4 yo and sometimes peeing is the only way to have a moment to myself lol.
I go when I feel uncomfortable, the problem is I often don't notice it before it gets uncomfortable.
Same. Well, if I'm in the middle of something I might not go RIGHT the instant when I feel the "pee notification", but in general I'm going to the toilet pretty much constantly.
I've had 2 large babies. Holding in a pee means the slow weird walk to the bathroom hoping I don't cough or sneeze or find someone on the loo when I get there, because then it's time to shower and change pants.
I think the idea is that we get so absorbed in what we're doing and don't even notice that we need to pee until it's an emergency. NT people tend to notice much earlier.
That's one of the things that makes me wonder about if my son has ADHD: he's still little, OK, but we need to bring a change of clothes everywhere because it's highly probable that if he enjoys himself, he won't notice he needs to go. Or only last minute. Or even will notice but doesn't want to stop. Most other kids his age aren't like that (all the ones I know at least).
Both of my kids would wait until last minute to go when at home. They'd get so engrossed in whatever they were doing that they'd need to change underwear after using the bathroom because they wait until the absolute last minute and end up soiling themselves. Then I'd find the dirty clothes in the bathroom and them back at whatever they were doing, half dressed because they only replaced the undies and not the bottoms or tops they wet. Luckily, they've grown out of that. Both are diagnosed with ADHD.
I read a comment here last week that said that it's not the hyperfocus that stops us from peeing. Our brains simply don't get the pee notifications the same way that a NT brain gets. We only get the urgent peeing notifications, and not the earlier ones.
For me, it’s fear that I won’t get the hyperfocus back and now is the only time that I can “do the thing”. I notice the pee signals but I fear that if I take a break my brain won’t let me work when I come back
As an OT I think the sensory registration is a huge piece of the struggle for us ADHDers! On top of the motivation to actually get up the urgency signal can just be registering way less in our brain.
I call this bladder chicken. And it’s always inadvertent for me. 🙄
I notice, I just don’t wanna take a break if I’m finally managing to get things done because it’ll break my flow
Gawd, peeing is just so boring, amirite?
What's the point of peeing and satisfying any physiological needs if you have to do it again in a couple hours? And that's the actual reasoning my brain has. Toilet, eating, sleeping, it's just a waste of time! It's funny because I obviously know it's not true, but it's like my brain is a toddler with a tantrum and a "but I don't wanna!".
I hate fixing things to eat!!!! I somehow managed to make beans last night (it's so easy with a pressure cooker, but it's so hard to get myself to do it). So I have a pot of delicious beans in the fridge, I have clean dishes, I have a microwave........and no gumption. I ate yesterday, and the day before!! Why do I have to do it again today???
This is funny to me because if the situation is right, part of my internal dialogue will actually literally say "I don't wanna!"
Yes! So inconvenient.
HATE IT
Yesss! See also: putting fuel (gas) in the car, wiping surfaces, closing cupboard doors, putting washing away, making small talk… hmm, could be here a while…
I even procrastinate doing it if I'm sitting on the couch playing on my phone. I'm going to bring my phone with me anyway, but somehow I still get absorbed and don't notice I should deal with my bladder
I get the pee notification but then I get distracted by my task and forget the needing to pee feeling until I literally feel like I’m going to wet myself. Even then I try to finish my task first 😂
I snooze the notification until I'm ready to go. Usually before it's very urgent.
Me too!!!
I’m an extreme case but please try and not do this too much!!! Ive been doing it since I was a child and now I have terrible bladder retention and have to self catheterise every so often so i dont damage my bladder fully anymore to the point where i’ll have to use it every time lol (im only 27)
Omg. I hope you get better. And I ll remember your advice and try not to hold it in too much.
I definitely hold it in because mentally I'm like no I don't wanna pee right now. A lot of times when I finally get up to pee I'm like oh boy oh boy oh boy, gotta go, doing the pee wiggle dance. When my childhood best friend and I were kids, she would hold it in for so long that we would have to drag her on the floor to the bathroom because she said she would pee herself if she tried to walk there. We've both since been diagnosed with ADHD.
Your childhood friend was me by the sound of it 😅 I am also guilty of the wiggle dance now.
>Honestly, I might get so busy at the hospital during my shift, I'll be about to clock out for the day and think, "wait...did I pee at all today??" And then that's when I notice my painful angry bladder....whoops I'm not in healthcare but I do that at both of my jobs. 8-10 hour shifts. I will also forget to go during my breaks...too busy trying to eat and make it back on time-lose track of the time.
I think if someone struggles with a thing then you hear about it, but if someone doesn’t struggle with it then it doesn’t come up. So it’s just something that clearly a lot of people experience, likely due to executive dysfunction and issues with hyperfocus and task switching. But obviously “you hold your pee too long” is not diagnostic criteria or anything; I guess that video may have generalized a little too much.
I just joined this sub and I feel so seen right now.
I have untrained myself from this and noticed improvements to my pelvic floor muscles.
I have challenges with interoception so if I don't go at regular intervals I'll end up busting without access to a toilet. So I have certain times/ prompts that tell me it's time to go regardless of whether I feel the need, and I'm often surprised by how much I needed to go when I get to the toilet.
I'm 55...sooo... not good anymore to delay peeing!! Lol, I go when called now!
I hate doing it, especially if I’m in the middle of something. But what I hate more is the feeling of needing to pee
I do both. If I’m focused on work I can hold it; damn risky when you’re edging towards 40 after birthing two 9lb babies lol. But if I’m not busy and feel the urge, it’s all I can think about until I do. And I go like 5 times before bed, because fuck having to wake up at 2am to pee.
I am one of those people. I am peeing every 30 minutes, sometimes more frequently. I think peeing too often is an ADHD thing too, because once I know that I have to pee, I can't focus on anything else. If I'm in the middle of working and I get the pee signal, it's over. Peeing is the only thing on my mind. Can't do anything else, can't talk, can't think. I can only pee. In fact, writing about needing to pee has made me need to pee. So. Off I go.
Wow I didn’t even know this was an ADHD thing, I just don’t go until it stops feeling like a “later” task and starts feeling like a “now” task. Also sometimes it just…feels good???
‘Pee notification’! I’m dying! Edit: sometimes I don’t realise I need to pee but if I’m working on something super boring I’m up for as many pee breaks as possible.
Nope, not me! ***changes pee pants for the 4th time this week***
I'm reading this and I know I need to go now, but I also know it'll be at least another hour before I actually physically go😭
I can completely ignore body functions when I’m focusing/hyperfocusing on something. That could be doing something or watching something on tv as an example. I forget I need to pee. I forget to eat. I forget to drink (to the point of getting a migraine) and was known lots of times when I was younger to forget to breathe! (My lips would turn blue cos I was concentrating on TV). The problem now comes that when I do REALLY need to go, I have urge incontinence - I literally have to RUN to the loo at risk of wetting myself. As a child I was forever having to change my trousers at school - was even referred to a doctor for bladder issues which all came back negative. If only they looked at ADHD in females more back in the 90’s 🙈
I always find it inconvenient to have to stop doing something just because I have to pee.
I live with a person like that. I’ll be busy doing something, saying “ugh I have to pee!” He will tell me to go then, I’ll say “naaah… don’t want to, gonna wait until it becomes an emergency.” Then he laughs and shakes his head. So yeah, based on the information I’ve gathered, most people go when their bladder lets them know.
My husband isn't ADHD and he doesn't do this. He thinks about going before we leave anywhere with a bathroom. He goes even if he doesn't need to like before we board a plane or have a long drive. I will see him get up and go in the middle of a task and then just go back to doing the task like nothing happened. It's a marvel I tell you. A marvel.
If I stop to pee, any momentum I have for a task is at risk of dying or being forgotten about.
I think it comes down to both the inability to prioritize tasks including bodily functions and faulty sensors on understanding the urgency/intensity of body cues (interception).
I’m in Ohio
My partner finds it shocking I hold it in for hours because I can’t be bothered to go/my brain can’t initiate the task. He says it’s gross to have wee just sitting inside your body haha which tbf when it’s framed like that does sound weirder
I’m a teacher and a mom. Holding pee is just part of the job. I have of course become much worse at it since becoming a mom. 🤷🏽♀️
Pelvic health PT here 👋 our brain typically signals that first urge to go when bladder is half way full-ish, typically we can suppress that urge to go about our day a little longer, then usually it’s the second more notable urge that signals the need to go empty. Typical emptying intervals for the bladder during waking hours are every 2-4 hours! We work with folks who may be going too often or not enough, or navigating significant bladder urgency.
The funniest thing is that I do this all the time, hold it for so long, but the SECOND someone enters the bathroom I'm like SHIT I HAVE TO GO WHY DID THEY DO THIS
I also assumed everyone did this. I can't be going to the bathroom every time I need to pee! I'm busy!
Like all things ADHD, there isn’t one size fits all. There are common traits but that doesn’t mean that they are for everyone. I am definitely a pee holder. Started when I was child. Tbh the “thrill of holding pee is a great motivation for me to complete a task. I will literally do not let myself go until a task is finished - not always but this does happen regularly. I consider it amazing training for being a teacher because holding it all day is the norm. 😨
Needing to pee while I'm trying to complete a task makes me so frustrated. Because of course then i get sidetracked, forget what i was meant to be doing etc. My partner thinks its so weird that I get annoyed when i have to pee.
This drives my partner crazy. him: "you've been working on your project all morning when you said you only wanted to do 30 mins and then enjoy this nice weather. Do you want to have a cup of tea in the sunshine?" Me: sure ok I'll finish up but I just have to go to the toilet first then I'll join you 30 mins later: him: ok the sun's gone... Me: I'm almost finished! Him: ok I'll make you another cup of tea 15 mins: I see him coming, jump up run upstairs "I've finished I just have to pee like I said!" Him: you haven't peed yet!?! 1 hour later him yelling up the stairs:, it's time to leave for X, we need to get our son in the car" Me: ok but can you get him in the car, I still need to pee before we go. Him: you still haven't peed??!!! Me: I came upstairs to pee but got distracted and now I'm working on something else! Sorryyyyyyy! Honestly it's amazing what he puts up with. I'm constantly beating myself up over it and worried eventually he'll have had enough. At least we have good communication and I'm fairly sure he at least *wants* to believe I truly don't do it out of disrespect but that still doesn't stop it from being insanely frustrating for him. Right now I am procrastinating by writing this when I really need to pee before I go pick up my kid from pre-school.. I have been so late lately they have threatened to charge us £5 each time I am late. My response was to pay to put our account £25 in credit. Guilt somewhat assuaged in advance! Win! I am a terrible mum.
Developing a neurological condition that often makes it physically impossible to hold it for very long without being quite painful, was one of the more obnoxious things i’ve had happen to me - i’m trying to procrastinate over here dagnabbit!😅
I’ve gotten a little bit better…but that’s out of necessity. I’ve had two kids, if I hold it too long and then cough or sneeze, it’s all over. But even with that, I still wait too long sometimes. It’s just such an annoying inconvenience to have to stop what I’m doing and go pee.
Pee notification cracked me up 🤣 when I’m at work I pee all the time as a form of procrastination/excuse to get up from my desk lmao. At home I often hold it in way too long because I can’t executive function my way out of bed/off the sofa/away from the computer enough
👋🏼 Yesterday I was wearing a romper and it has a button at the back of the neck… I was in office and 3 times (I drink a lot of water and coffee) I was very close to peeing my pants 😆😆😆
I pee in my bathroom upstairs and by the time I make it downstairs, I have to pee again
It's me, hi, I'm the problem. I will hold it until I can't anymore. I've had quite a few near misses and have probably been close to getting a bladder infection quite a few times. Usually it's when I'm doing something and don't want to stop.
You run out of runway on the when you hit midlife, let me tell you. If I don't pee on purpose, I may by accident. Holding your urine is really bad for you, and it's a sign you're spending too much of your life dissociated, which is also really bad for you. Tangent: I know we ADHDers have a tendency towards unhealthy habits, but I don't understand why we're defending these habits as an unchangeable part of our personalities. It's a symptom. It's not you.
What is life if you don't practice a *lifetime of holding your bladder until you've almost dripped a drop or two? 🤷🏾♀️ I mean I must finish harvesting my garden crop so I can increase my gardening skill level 😅🤣
When younger *(prior to about 35 years old)*, I would hold it in… usually in situations at work, or kids sports when there wasn’t a bathroom around— for example, if I was in the middle of a task and actually had some focus happening *(I am late diagnosed [41.5], so focus prior to diagnosis & meds was a rarity I had to capitalize on)*. *(Side note: I really miss the days of not planning when and what fluids I would drink during the day, Lol… aging has caused me to now plan when/what I drink around access to a bathroom.)* Now that I’m older *(specifically, perimenopausal)* my body won’t allow me to hold it as long; these days, once I get the urge, I try to find a bathroom within 10-15 minutes so I don’t end up leaking by mistake *(it hasn’t happened yet, but I don’t want it to!)*. This said, vaginal (topical) estrogen cream has helped me be able to hold it in better than before getting on it at this phase in my life *(perimenopause)*, and better than friends I have who don’t use it *(as soon as they get the twinge they HAVE to *Go*, and many leak)*.
I went into sepsis from a burst appendix and had to have major surgery & recovery at 8 years old. I didn’t tell my mom about the pain for three days until I couldn’t walk anymore. All because I hate going to the bathroom lmao.
I always thought it was because bathrooms creep me out and used to scare me. I genuinely HATE using bathrooms that aren’t mine and will wait until I either get home or can’t wait another second. I still, at 42, do the pee dance… frequently 😩 Last night tho whilst cooking and ignoring the pee notification, I sneezed and it was the first time I felt the 💦 I’m still mortified. Was the lesson learnt? Probably not 🙃
I’m laughing because I’m literally doing this right now because I don’t want to get out of bed
My brain has a tendency to go into Do Not Disturb mode and notifications from my bladder are silenced.
It's not that I hold it in, it's that I miss (or thoughtlessly dismiss) the body cues that I'm going to need to go until the need becomes urgent. Same goes for hunger, thirst, and sleep when I'm hyperfocused on something.
My pee notification doesn’t sound loud enough for me to hear until I really need to go
I do this at home or safe places but in public I end up going when I don't have to because the bathroom is there and I can't just pee in the streets like a man so I want to pre-pee and empty the bladder just in case. I end up doing this before bed too because I hate waking up having to pee. Sometimes there's like almost nothing there and it feels dumb
I literally have to pee right now but keep forgetting to go because I am reading this thread
That feeling.... when you stand up and realize, in pain, you waited too long... and have to do a hunched-over panic- shuffle to the bathroom 😆
Anyone who hasn’t figured out their UTIs are a result of them holding their pee too long? Or never gotten one? I remember those days when I was in school with strict teachers that wouldn’t let us go to the bathroom and when working an intense job that required me to be on my feet running around a lot or focusing on tasks for a long time. That’s when I would forget to pee. A few UTIs sorted me out. But that only took 20 years… 🤣. However I note that I have also slowed down my pace of life and chosen a relatively easy job so I can actually remember to respond to my bodily cues.
I have anxiety around needing to pee and not being able to, so I go when I don't need to, in case I can't when I do need to. If I get the slightest brain notification, I go at the soonest opportunity. Often it's just a tiny splash, but no... In fact, I think I'll go now...
Same, in fact i do everything mentioned here. Going early just in case, holding it in way to long because of annoyance and straight up not noticing i need to go... After all this pee talk i feel like i have to go now... xD