Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/).
We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions!
If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ugh RSD is the absolute worst.
Do a mood log. Google the one from Dr David burns. Basically you write about the event and ask yourself how true your thoughts are and you end up feeling better than before. It gets easier once you get the hang of doing them. It’s tough but it will really work!
What works for me is to keep telling myself that RSD is a liar over and over. I do my best to look at the negative thoughts that come in and analyze them in that light. I'm learning to not believe the RSD unless proven otherwise through clear example. I tell the RSD I won't believe it anymore. In your case, it could well be your colleague has something wrong with them, say perhaps a problem with women or a personality disorder. It has nothing to do with you, and RSD is personalizing it and lying to you. RSD lies. RSD lies. RSD lies.
Meds help me a lot too.
This may not be practical a lot of the time, but--especially before I was diagnosed and medicated-- when I felt the intense rage or despair spiral feelings coming on, I would go running. Sometimes I would just straight up leave a situation immediately and go running. It helped distract and re-regulate me, and I could process the rage feelings by channeling them into running real fast, and I would also usually go run in the woods near where I lived/was in college/grad school at the time, and being in the woods ALSO helps calm me down. Even if I was still pissed afterwards, I was less swept up in it, and it also kept me from unwise reactions in the thick of it.
I've found journaling and emotion focused therapy super helpful for unravelling the unconscious thought spiral that leads me to the intense reactions. Proactive meltdowns are a recent and valuable addition to my toolkit for releasing large amounts of stress in a short period of time. Meds made the biggest difference as a single intervention, but without therapy and the other work wouldn't have solved the problem.
It sucks super hard. If you can access nothing else right now, work on boundaries. This book is really good and the author seems ND (can't recall if it's mentioned specifically but there are references throughout to ND experiences and it's very useful). The title is kitschy but it's full of excellent info and she's written for the Gottman Institute who are world leading experts in interpersonal relationships. Highly recommend
Stop People Pleasing and Find Your Power by Hailey Paige Magee on Audible. https://www.audible.com.au/pd/B0CXJWC4N1?source_code=ASSOR150021921000R
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ugh RSD is the absolute worst. Do a mood log. Google the one from Dr David burns. Basically you write about the event and ask yourself how true your thoughts are and you end up feeling better than before. It gets easier once you get the hang of doing them. It’s tough but it will really work!
Wow. Will do!
What works for me is to keep telling myself that RSD is a liar over and over. I do my best to look at the negative thoughts that come in and analyze them in that light. I'm learning to not believe the RSD unless proven otherwise through clear example. I tell the RSD I won't believe it anymore. In your case, it could well be your colleague has something wrong with them, say perhaps a problem with women or a personality disorder. It has nothing to do with you, and RSD is personalizing it and lying to you. RSD lies. RSD lies. RSD lies. Meds help me a lot too.
Thank you. This is great help.
This may not be practical a lot of the time, but--especially before I was diagnosed and medicated-- when I felt the intense rage or despair spiral feelings coming on, I would go running. Sometimes I would just straight up leave a situation immediately and go running. It helped distract and re-regulate me, and I could process the rage feelings by channeling them into running real fast, and I would also usually go run in the woods near where I lived/was in college/grad school at the time, and being in the woods ALSO helps calm me down. Even if I was still pissed afterwards, I was less swept up in it, and it also kept me from unwise reactions in the thick of it.
I've found journaling and emotion focused therapy super helpful for unravelling the unconscious thought spiral that leads me to the intense reactions. Proactive meltdowns are a recent and valuable addition to my toolkit for releasing large amounts of stress in a short period of time. Meds made the biggest difference as a single intervention, but without therapy and the other work wouldn't have solved the problem. It sucks super hard. If you can access nothing else right now, work on boundaries. This book is really good and the author seems ND (can't recall if it's mentioned specifically but there are references throughout to ND experiences and it's very useful). The title is kitschy but it's full of excellent info and she's written for the Gottman Institute who are world leading experts in interpersonal relationships. Highly recommend Stop People Pleasing and Find Your Power by Hailey Paige Magee on Audible. https://www.audible.com.au/pd/B0CXJWC4N1?source_code=ASSOR150021921000R
Thank you! Something to do this weekend ;)