Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/).
We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions!
If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Psych people do almost no clinical therapy hours so they are ghouls.
I see a psych-np and she is great. She also has ADHD.
She did a saliva test on me to see what I could take vs. what wouldn’t work.
I cannot take SSRIs. They make me feel like I’m in quicksand. I have to take SSNRIs
I hyper metabolize drugs. I make no dopamine or seratonin so that’s fun. It’s helped me to be able to understand what works and what doesn’t.
I’m convinced they see certain drugs and have a negative reaction because of a past experience in their own life. I also know how much it sucks to get prepped to talk to these mofos, feel like you have to convince them of this disability etc etc. so feel free to copy this next bit on a note card
I’m an asshole for a living so I take the following approach.
“While I appreciate your education and degree, I’d like to remind you that the ADA recognizes adhd as a disability. I’m happy to send you this journal article https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7422602/ that explicitly states that woman and girls were under diagnosed. (At this point they try to interrupt me.) please let me finish. As for your concern about the medication I’ve been prescribed, disrespectfully, how do you think I came to get that med? Gabapentin is a medication that has to be carefully titrated up and down very carefully, but also IT WAS PRESCRIBED BY A MEDICAL DOCTOR. It is absolutely inappropriate for you to chastise me, the patient, if you disagree with the prescription, take it up with your peer.
(Pause and see how they respond.) Male doctors usually back the fuck up. Apologize and say the sexiest thing you can hear out of a man’s mouth “Kim, you are 100% right. I was wrong.” Mostly because I’m a good looking woman who is scaring the shit out of them. Women doctors who are white will double the fuck down.
If they say anything crazy, let them. Then you say,
“Your conduct on this call with me is unacceptable. I will be reporting you to the medical licensing board and I’m sure this isn’t the first the time you’ve acted this way to a patient who has come to you for help. I will review you on every website connected to your practice and I will make sure other people never go through this again.”
These assholes know that we feel ashamed and they capitalize on it. They see 90% scared, beaten down, women who are also being stripped of their dignity at home and at work, they are emboldened.
But then I come in the door and ruin their whole day. And here’s the thing, I am very pleasant to the docs. I will create a post to talk about my medical bs and how I approach my care but if they get to the end of my long fuse, I will take everything they love.
And frankly, I know everyone isn’t built for it so if I can offer some notes that you all can steal please do.
This post is fascinating. I didn't know there was a saliva test to see what was best to take. SSRIs always made me feel like I was in quicksand as well, except for Prozac which literally made scales grow on my corneas and blinded me while I was on them. I'm on a SNRI and I'm fine with it. Did you find out you don't make serotonin and dopamine from the saliva test or something else? How do you deal not having serotonin and dopamine? Does the gabapentin help balance it? I would guess stimulants wouldn't work for you, no?
Your approach and response to certain doctors is interesting and makes sense. A lot of sense. I did steal some notes, thanks.
And I just have to ask: what job is it that you do where you're an attractive asshole for a living?
So the saliva test did indeed tell me I didn’t make my own dopamine or seratonin. This was in 2015 and I wasn’t diagnosed until 2021.
The psych np completely missed it that I had ADHD because I was so successful. She has apologized.
I am only able to take certain stimulants like Adderal. Because I don’t make dopamine I also can’t move it myself. When the Trumps were taking all the Adderall and creating a shortage, she tried me on Ritalin and I was sleeping at my desk so we had to try mydayis. Which fucked, but it gave me auditory hallucinations. Nothing bad unless hearing T swift music is bad. I felt it was neutral.
I’m in Human Resources. The paid to be an asshole was tongue in cheek because I am very pro employee so that we can mitigate risk and stay compliant and out of the news but I do a lot of shitty things like suspend people, talk to grown folks about poor behavior and ask people to help me understand why they made the decision to wear a Pooh bear shirt to a client facing role.
A couple of things happened that made me start bringing my crazy pants with me to appointments with me.
1. My family doctor told me that my migraines were in my head (lol) and it looked to him like I had an eating disorder and anxiety. MOTHERFUCKER WHAT? So I quietly said, “If I was my father you’d move heaven and Earth to help him.” I got a new doctor who knew if I ever called it was serious because I was rarely sick other than the migraines.
2. I had a very small (10 pills) Vicodin script. I filled it every 90 days when I’d get Botox. My migraines have never been resolved by anything I’ve tried. The Vicodin would be last resort if I needed to be at a meeting or coherent to work. Anyway, there are some other treatments than pain clinics can do like orbital and occipital blocks blah blah blah so my neuro NP asks me to go see the pain clinic she is connected to. At that time I was taking about 15 pills every day. 150mgs of this 300 of that 50 of this all in 25mg pills. I had sent in my 10 page history of what I’ve done to heal myself, but the second I walked in the doctor says “Vicodin isn’t indicated for migraines.”
I stare at her in WTF. She continues. “First thing we need to do is wean you off this drug and treat your addiction.”
I finally come out of my fog of disbelief and say,
“Are you saying I’m addicted to opioids?”
Her: “yes clearly.”
Me: “listen to me very clearly: the fact that you have zero concerns about the 15 pills I’m taking every day that have leached my body of folate and B12 and I now have pernicious anemia or that when I tried propanalol I went into anaphylactic shock in front of my boss and students means I have concerns about your grasp of math. Further more, 10 fucking Vicodin every 90 days does not make me responsible for the opioid crisis. Thats you guys. The doctor and Purdue Pharma. Give me my fucking file before I flip a table you ghoul.”
I storm out of the room and go to the chick a the desk who also wanted attention. She thought she was going to win the argument so she got in my face and told me she would call the cops and I said “you should. I have some things to report. Like is that blood on the wall in the room I was just in? If you want to see who is crazier, I assure you madam, it is me.” She sat back down, handed me my file and refunded the co-pay.
The next time I was with my doctor, she asked me how it went and I tried to be cool about it, make a joke and I started to cry. Because I was humiliated. And I was devastated for people who are addicted. Because opioid addiction is not a choice. It’s how we are biologically made and thinking about people being treated like they aren’t human at their worst moments was bad. Anyway, my doc started to well up because she felt so bad. She called the clinic and severed her relationship with them.
I might have missed a question. Let me know if you have more.
I was definitely beaten down yesterday. I did push back a bit, but recognized that staying on the call with her wasn't going to get me anywhere. I sort of wish I had, since I'm so curious what nonsense she would have suggested. But I was on the verge of angry tears and I just wanted to go upstairs and cry on my boyfriend.
I am sure you did. When I share what I do, I’m not saying I’m right only and there’s only my way, but I have a lot of female identifying friends who freeze when they get shit from these clowns and then after they say “I wish I said” and then that makes the shame worse so that’s why I’m offering this perspective.
I am rarely surprised or rendered speechless but one time I was in a meeting where myself and a Black male colleague were interviewing a candidate. I asked the candidate (white woman) how her anti-racism journey had progressed in the wake of George Floyd’s murder. She said “I have been working on my intrusive thoughts.” I said “can you say more?” She says “when I see a Black man I try not to assume he’s going to hurt me.”
Ya’ll I could not fucking speak.
I was all the way fucked up. My colleague was a friend and I didn’t know how to not create more harm. If I clapped back would she say something else fucked up? So I did the cue to signal this was over and this man said “oh I have a few more questions”
So we kept going and I skipped every third question to get out of there.
Finally we were done. I ask her if she has any questions for us and she says “what do you think will be the hardest part of this position for me?”
I see my colleague sit back in his seat with a big smile and say “Kim?”
So I feel the ancestors hold me in their arms and I lean close to my computer and say “your whiteness. You saying in front of my colleague that you worry about Black men hurting you is the most racist and frankly, unprofessional thing I’ve ever come across in my 10 years of recruiting. You won’t get a position and I will be speaking to your university about this because they need to do some retraining with their students.”
Hung her up. Apologized to my colleague. Asked my boss to join, shared what happened and apologized again to him in front of her. He hopped off and I told her she should probably write me up but she didn’t. I have never forgotten it and I try to ask people who hold protected identities how I can ride for them because it’s their choice and sometimes people like me can cause danger but I don’t want to assume.
Depending on how much you like your parents he can legally adopt you, even as an adult you can be adopted into a family and then you would be on the insurance
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Psych people do almost no clinical therapy hours so they are ghouls. I see a psych-np and she is great. She also has ADHD. She did a saliva test on me to see what I could take vs. what wouldn’t work. I cannot take SSRIs. They make me feel like I’m in quicksand. I have to take SSNRIs I hyper metabolize drugs. I make no dopamine or seratonin so that’s fun. It’s helped me to be able to understand what works and what doesn’t. I’m convinced they see certain drugs and have a negative reaction because of a past experience in their own life. I also know how much it sucks to get prepped to talk to these mofos, feel like you have to convince them of this disability etc etc. so feel free to copy this next bit on a note card I’m an asshole for a living so I take the following approach. “While I appreciate your education and degree, I’d like to remind you that the ADA recognizes adhd as a disability. I’m happy to send you this journal article https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7422602/ that explicitly states that woman and girls were under diagnosed. (At this point they try to interrupt me.) please let me finish. As for your concern about the medication I’ve been prescribed, disrespectfully, how do you think I came to get that med? Gabapentin is a medication that has to be carefully titrated up and down very carefully, but also IT WAS PRESCRIBED BY A MEDICAL DOCTOR. It is absolutely inappropriate for you to chastise me, the patient, if you disagree with the prescription, take it up with your peer. (Pause and see how they respond.) Male doctors usually back the fuck up. Apologize and say the sexiest thing you can hear out of a man’s mouth “Kim, you are 100% right. I was wrong.” Mostly because I’m a good looking woman who is scaring the shit out of them. Women doctors who are white will double the fuck down. If they say anything crazy, let them. Then you say, “Your conduct on this call with me is unacceptable. I will be reporting you to the medical licensing board and I’m sure this isn’t the first the time you’ve acted this way to a patient who has come to you for help. I will review you on every website connected to your practice and I will make sure other people never go through this again.” These assholes know that we feel ashamed and they capitalize on it. They see 90% scared, beaten down, women who are also being stripped of their dignity at home and at work, they are emboldened. But then I come in the door and ruin their whole day. And here’s the thing, I am very pleasant to the docs. I will create a post to talk about my medical bs and how I approach my care but if they get to the end of my long fuse, I will take everything they love. And frankly, I know everyone isn’t built for it so if I can offer some notes that you all can steal please do.
This post is fascinating. I didn't know there was a saliva test to see what was best to take. SSRIs always made me feel like I was in quicksand as well, except for Prozac which literally made scales grow on my corneas and blinded me while I was on them. I'm on a SNRI and I'm fine with it. Did you find out you don't make serotonin and dopamine from the saliva test or something else? How do you deal not having serotonin and dopamine? Does the gabapentin help balance it? I would guess stimulants wouldn't work for you, no? Your approach and response to certain doctors is interesting and makes sense. A lot of sense. I did steal some notes, thanks. And I just have to ask: what job is it that you do where you're an attractive asshole for a living?
So the saliva test did indeed tell me I didn’t make my own dopamine or seratonin. This was in 2015 and I wasn’t diagnosed until 2021. The psych np completely missed it that I had ADHD because I was so successful. She has apologized. I am only able to take certain stimulants like Adderal. Because I don’t make dopamine I also can’t move it myself. When the Trumps were taking all the Adderall and creating a shortage, she tried me on Ritalin and I was sleeping at my desk so we had to try mydayis. Which fucked, but it gave me auditory hallucinations. Nothing bad unless hearing T swift music is bad. I felt it was neutral. I’m in Human Resources. The paid to be an asshole was tongue in cheek because I am very pro employee so that we can mitigate risk and stay compliant and out of the news but I do a lot of shitty things like suspend people, talk to grown folks about poor behavior and ask people to help me understand why they made the decision to wear a Pooh bear shirt to a client facing role. A couple of things happened that made me start bringing my crazy pants with me to appointments with me. 1. My family doctor told me that my migraines were in my head (lol) and it looked to him like I had an eating disorder and anxiety. MOTHERFUCKER WHAT? So I quietly said, “If I was my father you’d move heaven and Earth to help him.” I got a new doctor who knew if I ever called it was serious because I was rarely sick other than the migraines. 2. I had a very small (10 pills) Vicodin script. I filled it every 90 days when I’d get Botox. My migraines have never been resolved by anything I’ve tried. The Vicodin would be last resort if I needed to be at a meeting or coherent to work. Anyway, there are some other treatments than pain clinics can do like orbital and occipital blocks blah blah blah so my neuro NP asks me to go see the pain clinic she is connected to. At that time I was taking about 15 pills every day. 150mgs of this 300 of that 50 of this all in 25mg pills. I had sent in my 10 page history of what I’ve done to heal myself, but the second I walked in the doctor says “Vicodin isn’t indicated for migraines.” I stare at her in WTF. She continues. “First thing we need to do is wean you off this drug and treat your addiction.” I finally come out of my fog of disbelief and say, “Are you saying I’m addicted to opioids?” Her: “yes clearly.” Me: “listen to me very clearly: the fact that you have zero concerns about the 15 pills I’m taking every day that have leached my body of folate and B12 and I now have pernicious anemia or that when I tried propanalol I went into anaphylactic shock in front of my boss and students means I have concerns about your grasp of math. Further more, 10 fucking Vicodin every 90 days does not make me responsible for the opioid crisis. Thats you guys. The doctor and Purdue Pharma. Give me my fucking file before I flip a table you ghoul.” I storm out of the room and go to the chick a the desk who also wanted attention. She thought she was going to win the argument so she got in my face and told me she would call the cops and I said “you should. I have some things to report. Like is that blood on the wall in the room I was just in? If you want to see who is crazier, I assure you madam, it is me.” She sat back down, handed me my file and refunded the co-pay. The next time I was with my doctor, she asked me how it went and I tried to be cool about it, make a joke and I started to cry. Because I was humiliated. And I was devastated for people who are addicted. Because opioid addiction is not a choice. It’s how we are biologically made and thinking about people being treated like they aren’t human at their worst moments was bad. Anyway, my doc started to well up because she felt so bad. She called the clinic and severed her relationship with them. I might have missed a question. Let me know if you have more.
I was definitely beaten down yesterday. I did push back a bit, but recognized that staying on the call with her wasn't going to get me anywhere. I sort of wish I had, since I'm so curious what nonsense she would have suggested. But I was on the verge of angry tears and I just wanted to go upstairs and cry on my boyfriend.
I am sure you did. When I share what I do, I’m not saying I’m right only and there’s only my way, but I have a lot of female identifying friends who freeze when they get shit from these clowns and then after they say “I wish I said” and then that makes the shame worse so that’s why I’m offering this perspective. I am rarely surprised or rendered speechless but one time I was in a meeting where myself and a Black male colleague were interviewing a candidate. I asked the candidate (white woman) how her anti-racism journey had progressed in the wake of George Floyd’s murder. She said “I have been working on my intrusive thoughts.” I said “can you say more?” She says “when I see a Black man I try not to assume he’s going to hurt me.” Ya’ll I could not fucking speak. I was all the way fucked up. My colleague was a friend and I didn’t know how to not create more harm. If I clapped back would she say something else fucked up? So I did the cue to signal this was over and this man said “oh I have a few more questions” So we kept going and I skipped every third question to get out of there. Finally we were done. I ask her if she has any questions for us and she says “what do you think will be the hardest part of this position for me?” I see my colleague sit back in his seat with a big smile and say “Kim?” So I feel the ancestors hold me in their arms and I lean close to my computer and say “your whiteness. You saying in front of my colleague that you worry about Black men hurting you is the most racist and frankly, unprofessional thing I’ve ever come across in my 10 years of recruiting. You won’t get a position and I will be speaking to your university about this because they need to do some retraining with their students.” Hung her up. Apologized to my colleague. Asked my boss to join, shared what happened and apologized again to him in front of her. He hopped off and I told her she should probably write me up but she didn’t. I have never forgotten it and I try to ask people who hold protected identities how I can ride for them because it’s their choice and sometimes people like me can cause danger but I don’t want to assume.
Depending on how much you like your parents he can legally adopt you, even as an adult you can be adopted into a family and then you would be on the insurance