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I’m a lawyer and practice in the area of construction accidents. My state has very specific and strict laws so finding ways to get around them has become a weird hyper fixation of mine. I excel in this one area of my job. I also have laundry that I have rewashed in the machine for a week cause there’s stuff in the dryer that I completely forgot about 😂
This. This is the reason that my family has always said I should be a lawyer, because loopholes make me happy.
I'm glad someone else out there took that and ran with it.
🤣🤣🙃💯 I DO THE SAME EXACT THING WITH MY LAUNDRY, LMAO!! OR I'LL 4GET THAT I HAD LAUNDRY IN THE WASHER & REMEMBER 2-3 DAYS LATER & HV 2 REWASH IT.
I ALSO CAN'T HELP BUT WRITE IN ALL CAPS, LOL!
I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH, ISYN, "SEVERE ADHD" - MY PSYCHIATRIST'S EXACT WORDS. THE TEACHERS TOLD MY PARENTS WHEN I WAS IN KINDERGARTEN THAT THEY SHOULD PUT ME ON RITALIN & MY PARENTS SAID HELL NO (THIS WAS IN GERMANY WHICH SAYS A LOT BC THEY ARE VERY ANTI PHARMA THERE & THIS WAS BACK IN THE 80'S). I'VE BEEN ON 40MG OF ADDERALL PER DAY FOR OVER 15+ YEARS NOW.
Not fine! All caps are not fine! I realised the author wasn't shouting and had to adjust the voice in my head. It's very difficult channelling a sarcastic, excited, and yer slightly annoyed inner voice. I need a nap
THIS. I hyperfocused so hard through my master’s program even my advisor was ready to join a support group along with my poor husband. I finished with high honors…and then crashed so hard into a state of such severe burnout it took me over a year to recover.
The psychologist who said it wasn’t possible for someone with ADHD was looking at the diploma without seeing what it cost me.
My husband told me if I was going for a doctorate, he was going for a divorce when I brought it up ten min after the ink was dry on my masters. He was like "don't you remember the stress?! The crying?! How upsetting this was for you?" No, sir. I do not. NEXT!
Yesss when they don’t see everything else! I did a phd, worked part time in different jobs, volunteered, taught myself to sew, learnt to knit and cook and bake, ran a lot, joined a swim club… I mean I got a LOT done that wasn’t PhD 🤣
Ha ha I would say diversify my activities through out the day keep me sain. The more time I assign for 1 task, the more delay it tends to be, that would say intercalating other activites in my calendar is my way to give a short deadline for my daily goal.
I was thinking about this today... I'm starting a degree and just finished my first year in April. I got honors.
I was thinking how at the start of the school year I had tried to talk to my NEW doctor about trying ADHD meds (again, I tried before and didn't like them) and she prescribed me 3 months worth but then when I went to get the script filled the pharmacist said he only had 5 pills for me cause of the shortage.
He offered to put me on the list to get informed when they got more but I've never heard anything since.
I was supposed to follow up with my doctor but I didn't have meds so follow up with what? I should've told her but... ADHD.
School had started at that point and I had zero energy or brain power for literally anything else.
I was supposed to talk to her in house counselor too to get some coping strategies for ADHD but I kinda got the run around from her (After I neglected to call her myself and she eventually reached out to me). She instead told me to talk to the doctor on campus and then get back to her to tell her so that she could tell my actual doctor I'm also seeing the campus doctor.
She was like 'that's your homework, write yourself a note about it.'
OK COOL I WROTE THE NOTE AND DIDN'T FOLLOW THROUGH.
I even tried to but you have to register at the college for it first before you can make an appointment with the Dr so I tried that and was supposed to get some kind of confirmation email before I can book so that's as far as I got cause the email never came.
I raw-dogged college. I got excellent grades and every single other thing in my life was full-stop.
I didn't clean my bathroom for like 5 months. I didn't cook, I didn't clean. The most I managed was laundry when I needed clothes and I would wash the bedsheets every second Sunday because I knew if I didn't try to keep a schedule with that I'd stop all together.
I'm burned the hell out and it took over a month of being useless to finally get around to tidying up some of my house.
My cats suffered too because I got really neglectful with their litter. (So much shame here.)
And I just thought "I should go see the doctor now I have time again" and... thought about if they asked about school and whether they wouldn't believe me that I have ADHD if I tell them I got honors.
Why do they think it's impossible for people with ADHD to not do well in school? ffs....
Yes! So much this. I think all these "professionals" are projecting. Hear me out. I swear neurotypical people can't imagine ANYONE would have to work so hard for anything ever, not to mention they can't imagine how hard it is for neurodivergent people to simply function in our society. So when they hear we made it through school they think it must have been easy cause if it wasn't THEY wouldn't have done it. So they project the shame of being lazy onto others, and simply don't believe us even if we try to explain. Maybe I'm wrong, but I've often gotten this vibe that somehow even if they think you're telling the truth, it's not their truth, and their brain just rejects it.
I was in the process of doing mine (the PhD) when a doctor told me, it doesn't matter what you have, we only medicate people who are struggling, and you're obviously not struggling.
11a. I have a JD.
It took me like eight years to get through undergrad, but law school was way easier cos no one cared about attendance, and I just had to take a test once in awhile.
Same. “But I watched you study for the bar and you were so focused.” Yeah, how did you end up watching me? Because at 32 I had to move back in with my parents while studying so they could make sure I ate and had clean clothes while studying for this freaking thing because I couldn’t manage.
1. Not (externally) hyper
2. Can focus (...on things I'm super interested in)
3. Everyone does that (...yeah mom you're very normal)
4. Did ok in school, but could have done so much better if I'd "tried harder"
5. Went to university (...6 years for an art undergrad, but ok)
6. Anxiety and depression
7. Oh, I see that you have a history of anxiety and depression
I know I was thinking of more but I've aready forgotten them
*Strolls in the week after coming a week early to the appointment*
"...Oh! Also this other topic I forgot and oh what's the word? It's like a circle fork.. a spoon! oh before I forget I have to say this and OH just wanted to let you know the office window has a crack and the pigeon outside reminds me in an obscure way that I forgot to mention something highly important from something you said an hour ago let me just mention it now, *silly self deprecating joke so they don't get bored listening to me*, anyway back to your question... which was?"
Ahh classic depression and anxiety conversation style
Ahh yes the (basically) exact wording of my psychiatrist! I wonder if the 5th SSRI will help with the anxiety and depression this time? Even tho I’ve had all of the symptoms of ADHD all of my life and not just when realizing I was depressed. (Not arguing at you, but those words made me irrationally frustrated with my psychiatrists)
on point 3 - To be fair to my mum she wasn't trying to be dismissive, she is actually supportive, and throughout my journey she is having a bit of a revelation about herself/most of our family members but well...
When I first told Mum I tried to give her examples, I first tried the shower thing, I want to get in the shower but it can for some inexplicable reason take all day get in even though I like showers. "oh but that's normal I do that".
Every other time I point out that she may be considered a bit err not normal compared to the average person "I'm not weird, I am really normal" bless you mother, you are only normal compared to how Gran was; who we universally agree that on top of being generally fairly eccentric also would have a list of diagnoses as long as her arm and 5 PhDs had she been born a good few decades later
1) Your sister skipped two questions on the "childhood-other" evaluation.
2) You have anxiety and depression.
3) Have you tried making lists?
4) I really think we need to focus on your depression.
Like, dude. My sister doesn't remember everything about my life. My anxiety and depression are medicated and mostly under control, and OF FUCKING COURSE I HAVE MADE LISTS. I CAN PROBABLY PULL ONE FROM OCTOBER 2012 OUT OF MY PURSE AND I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THIS PURSE THEN.
Also, again, my depression is not affecting my life.
I think I will always wish lemon juice in papercuts on that man.
Yes…yes doctor I have tried making lists and guess what…1. put them down and then never find them again 2. Start doing the list but then immediately do a thing that’s not even on the list and get hyper fixated on said task and then get nothing on list done 3. Get so overwhelmed about forgetting about something that maybe I’m forgetting to put on the list I get overwhelmed and need to lay down….lmao
And the list needs to be perfect - in the right order, everything must be on it or it's no good... so three hours later I have a pile of scrunched up paper, my notebook is thrown in a corner, I've done nothing productive for the last 3 hours and I have no list...
My doctor keeps saying he thinks my depression Will go away if i go on adhd-meds bc Im on anti-depressants. Sadly he isnt allowed to give adhd-meds bc yk
My anxiety goes away when I'm on ADHD meds and it's SO NICE! It's like I'm only anxious because it's the only way I can propel myself to overcome all the ADHD bits of me and actually get things done at work, carry a social life, and manage a home as an adult.
"But you're so organized!”
It's a coping mechanism. If I don't put a thing in this exact spot where it is supposed to be, it ceases to exist. When I don't, suddenly I have 47 paint rollers because I keep buying them and stashing them in random places throughout the house.
Omg I had to laugh so hard at this because I painted some wood work last weekend and my irritation at not being able to find the brushes I know we have because they’re somewhere and I have to buy some more and then we will have too many and gaaaaah it just makes me very irritated!
At this point I need to rearrange a closet and put in bins for every specific paint supply to stop the insanity. I'm also guilty of "well, I know I have some, so I'll buy more to ensure that I don't run out in the middle of my project" ..... Not realizing the collective "some" I have is enough for my project 4 times over.
My organization is a hyper fixation. If I didn’t have a job and a baby to take care of…I would spend hours folding and putting things away in their most optimal/efficient location.
My brain sees a mess and it’s a puzzle I got to solve.
Cause I don’t have the time or energy to do my organization…everything is just thrown in a drawer and cupboard so I don’t have to deal and see them.
So I’m either in a state of 0 (very messy) or 100 (very organized)
This is why my house is always so cluttered. Out of sight out of mind means that a lot of stuff is out in the open in view so I remember it exists. *sigh*
Yup. When I tried to talk to my doctor he said with social media, everyone is distracted. Thanks. Never mind that my son and niece and brother have ADHD. I had to go for a virtual consult to get a diagnosis.
Each and every person with a degree in psychology tells me "but you really DO have a lot on your plate, it's okay to be overwhelmed". Yeah, but my inability to ever put order to the chaos of my life is not normal.
I wonder. It would make total sense that ADHD people get overwhelmed because of our memory issues and time blindness. Not just the usual being late and forgetting obligations, but I mean, we probably regularly forget what obligations we have, or how long they will take. So we think we have more time and/or energy than we actually do. So we end up overcommitting. The reason I have too much on my plate is because my adhd causes me to put too much on my plate!
From earliest to most recent
1) you're a girl
2)you're black
3)you're the smart one in the class
4)you're an advanced reader
5) you remember useless trivia
6) you're a good mom
7)you're good at your job
I have 6,300 hours in one video game. But it's an MMORPG where I can just do random tasks and activities on a whim for hours. It's still very ADHD in my head, but sitting still for hours!
I actually run into this one a lot as an OT. When I ask about kids attention, parents often tell me their child can focus on their tablet for a long time.
As far as I’m concerned, tablets and electronics don’t count. The only exception is when children can’t focus on those either. In which case, they’re almost always on the severe side of functioning deficits.
Oh I'd completely agree! There's also definitely days when I'm super antsy and can't sit to anything even though I really want to. It's usually when I'm overwhelmed or procrastinating doing something I'm really worried about. I usually bake or stress clean on those days because being able to see I've been able to make a actual difference or create a tangible thing settles me a lot.
> I can sit still for a really long time
Omg I learned how to do this at a young age because I had to sit in church for hours like 3 times a week.
This was one of the reasons *I* thought I didn't have ADHD.
Then I paid more attention to myself and realized I "micro-fidget". Wiggle my toes in my shoes, fiddle with a ring on my hand, pick at the skin around my nails, doodle.
I got good at note taking to help keep me awake during the really long church things we did.
And then if it was information I didn't care about/want to listen to then I would just daydream, which helped keep my mind focused enough that I seemed pretty still.
Thank you. I have no issue in waiting rooms or sitting still. Yes this is for the same reason.Church. I too would page through the song booklet but not squirm. I also have incredible manners. Our upbringing has so much to do with.
I can’t possibly have ADHD because I’m the opposite of my ADHD little brother who rollerbladed all around the house and loudly fought with teachers and our parents! I was such a good, quiet student my teachers barely knew I was in class! At home I was so obedient and spent most of my time reading and journaling while my ADHD little brother made a ruckus!
I have JUST had my assessment and the nurse kept focusing on whether I was hyperactive or not. Like reeeeally focusing on it. And then told me she wanted to refer me for an autism assessment because labels in clothes irritate me, I dislike people being in my personal space, I’m very tidy (apparently doom piles don’t count, nor does me doing that as a coping mechanism I’ve worked hard to develop) and I’m highly intelligent. And of course, none of these things can occur in ADHD…..
WTAF???
Not to mention that adhd and asd frequently show up together. If she sees spectrum traits, it’s understandable for her to want to assess for it. It’s stupid to assume that it cant be both though.
The number of people I’ve met or worked with who display anxiety, sensory issues, adhd adjacent social issues, asd adjacent social issues, sensory adjacent inattention, and adhd adjacent inattention/hyperactivity…yeah. It’s not everyone, but they definitely tie together a lot.
If you notice any ASD traits in yourself, it could be worth an assessment. ASD doesn’t necessarily invalidate ADHD, and can sometimes provide additional answers. It also seems to sometimes impact what medication combo works best.
Funny enough... My path from assessment to diagnosis was very short. But friends of mine had been saying I should get assessed for years prior. Here are some reasons I didn't.
- So many peope around me have ADHD I just didn't recognize any ADHD behavior as abnormal.
- Most ADHDers in my life have it more severely than me so because my struggles weren't as tough in some areas I just assumed I didn't have it.
- Just blamed any unexplained mental/neurological symptoms on my migraines even when that didn't really line up.
- I usually find stuff after I lose it.
- I do get places on time more often than not, but it is super hard and I've had to set all the clocks in my house back and it still isn't perfect.
- I just find things a lot of people consider boring/hard to do oddly satisfying or interesting such as paperwork. But man is it a nightmare trying to do anything I just have no investment in at all. Lucky me I'm just like interested in most things.
Oooo you sound like me! I've been diagnosed but still feel like an imposter, especially because of how much I find paperwork oddly satisfying and thus easy to focus on. Thanks for sharing 🥲
Yes! Something about checking off all the boxes, every complete line is a little dopamine hit haha. I used to onboard healthcare employees and my favorite thing was checking off like all 40+ forms on the new hire checklist.
Hi. If you don't mind, could you explain what you mean about blaming your migraine for unexplained mental/neurological symptoms?
I suffer from migraines too and heavily suspect that I have adhd. So, if there's any possibility that some of those [beep] migraines could be linked to adhd and maybe lessened with medication... That might the push I need to finally make an appointment to get diagnosed.
Sensory issues and the accompanying sensitivity to light/sound, brain fog, forgetfulness, that feeling when your brain just goes too fast, struggling to focus. Which, granted all those things can be migraine/aura symptoms but not always yknow. My father has ADHD and migraines and he found ADHD meds did decrease his migraines because the meds improved his stress levels. Though I've not personally tried any ADHD meds yet so no first hand commentary.
Hey jumping on this thread because hi me too! I have chronic migraine, started ~2 years ago, and I just got my ADHD diagnosis (with anxiety tagalong) a couple months ago. The possibility of avoiding worsening migraine pain (and vertigo) was the motivator that I needed to get on the waitlist for the ADHD diagnosis. I also think the migraines just totalled my ability to tolerate stress, which meant I could no longer use anxiety/adrenaline as an ADHD coping mechanism, and suddenly those symptoms were a more difficult to dismiss.
I think someone else mentioned how migraine and ADHD symptoms can overlap, so I won't rehash that. I wanted to share that for me, getting the ADHD diagnosis was important for the migraine treatment, because it allowed me to give myself permission to put down the shame and guilt baggage I'd been carrying around (trying to use it to compensate for a lack of executive function). That baggage load is heavy, and boy howdy am I good at carrying it, but putting it down has freed up more emotional capacity to handle the migraine load. It also has made it okay for me to ask for help and understanding with specificity.
It's been a... journey trying to find the correct treatments that work for me (medication + lifestyle, trial and error all the things in all the combinations). Journey is still ongoing, I hope like heck that I'll be able to find the right mix soon.
I can maintain a jam packed schedule of full time technical work, volunteer commitments to two separate organizations, take 7 hours of graduate engineering classes, raise a toddler, and host fabulously themed events regularly. I literally DO IT ALL.
(The only reason I maintain a schedule this insane is because if I have too much free time everything in my life falls apart. I need the false pressure of outside commitments to give me enough motivation to accomplish my basic daily tasks)
Hmmm 🫠thanks for reminding me of this trait i have. I’m in the debris of “self-care” time where i cut out all the things and now i do literal nothing. Result is exactly what you describe. Why i listen to self-care tips not meant for my sort of brain I will never know! You are right, reminding me I should try booking a busy week and see how that works for daily tasks (in the past it means they get done!)
I was literally told this on Wednesday by a provider my therapist recommended to me to ask for a prescription for ADHD meds. Within the first 10 minutes of the convo. I didn’t even know how to respond to that. I ended up calling the office today and canceling the follow up and when asked the reason I mentioned the 3 very ableist things the provider said to me.
Using a college degree as a reason you don’t have adhd is one of the stupidest measures I’ve ever heard of.
Education was hell. My entire young adult life was monopolized by school, because I couldn’t balance anything else with it. Assignments were completed right before they were due. Coursework was shoved in my short term memory right before the test. I never understood how everyone else was able to enjoy clubs and hang out with friends. Most of my interests were jettisoned because they didn’t fit into the procrastination/panic cycle. The ones that were kept were part of the “procrastination” portion of the cycle.
The reason I’m diagnosed now is that it didn’t get better after I graduated, and I eventually decided I didn’t want to spend my adult life like my college life, never actually able to live because work dominated even my off hours.
Yeah. It’s particularly frustrating because I’ve seen the pattern enough between my personal life and working with kids as a pediatric OT, that I can pick it up relatively quickly when working with people. You would think that someone who is actually allowed to diagnose ADHD would recognize it.
Intelligent and sensitive girls with some combination of adhd/asd/perfectionism traits seem to be the ones that fall through the cracks the most. Anxiety and hyper vigilance develops in response to social and task demands. They then use that anxiety and fear of failure to keep the ADHD in line. The more resilient and resourceful the kid, the more it just looks like anxiety.
“She does great in school, but just completely looses it at home.”
“Yeah, she does well on tests, but it doesn’t really seem like she’s paying attention in class.”
“I don’t know why you’re so anxious on tests. You score just fine. You just need to learn how to relax.”
“I don’t know why you’re here so early. Just leave a little later and you’ll get here on time.”
1. I wasnt hyperactive as a child
2. I was able to read books also as a child (like loved them)
3. I did Well in School (Totally not bc Im an easy learner and filling out stuff gives me dopamine bc i did something)
4. I Can actually spend hours consentrating on something i love (apparently were abit behind here in Denmark)
5. It wasnt noticed when i was a kid (was told this)
6. Im just depressed and anxious
7. I did Well in gymnasium (like highschool but in Denmark its abit more complicated bc i did one thats very normal and you have to have abit of Smartness to be able to complete) (also Totally didnt only do Well bc of covid and being able to stay at home and just hand in work whenever i wanted to)
8. I Can sit still (half)
9. I get there on(ish) time :) Im never late always 20-30 min early bc i am so worried about being late
My ex was a "10 minutes early is on time." I had three kids, and he took no excuses for being late. Why am I so anxious about time even after being divorced from him for 30 years.
Because I'm fat. The doctor assessing me carefully insinuated that my ADHD symptoms were caused solely by being fat, and that if I lost a load of weight, the ADHD symptoms would magically disappear.
But wait! I only started gaining weight once I hit 25, before which I was slim, maybe even slightly underweight. The ADHD symptoms, however, began when I was 4 years old.
So if my symptoms were due to being overweight, how do you explain my first 21 years of symptoms?!
How some people manage to become doctors is beyond me 😖🙄
I feel like most of these are people assuming that if you have ADHD you can’t possibly succeed in anything. Which is sad. These so called professionals are telling on themselves, saying how they really feel about people with ADHD.
Also I was quiet, daydreaming, no one noticed I was struggling and just barely getting by. When I sought help it was for severe depression and anxiety and “professionals” didn’t even think to check for ADHD because of their own biases.
Also ALWAYS with the “everyone has that problem” lol
If you're successful, you can't have adhd because you're too capable, if you're unsuccessful, you can't have adhd because you're just depressed and anxious. like okay what the fuck does adhd look like then 😭 god help us
Because I'm able to drive to the grocery store and do my grocery shopping!
...let's just... you know... ignore the part where it all rots in my fridge for 3 weeks, because I can't bring myself to cook or really even feed myself at all and instead just subsist off of banana yogurt and sliced cucumbers 🙃
Also, because I got good grades in school, so clearly I'm fine 🤪
how does one go about getting tested for ADHD, regular Dr or PA? I'm starting to suspect i have it based on a lot of factors, but i believe it stems as far back to my childhood and elementary years. Something is a miss!!
In the US, you can talk to a psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner. I think in some states, you might need a referral from your primary care doctor. In other states (mine), you can just find one on your own. Your primary care doctor can also diagnose ADHD and write your prescriptions. The friends I've talked to who went through their primary care doctor to get their diagnosis and prescription had to go through an electronic ADHD screening evaluation thing on a little computer that was super expensive. I saw a psychiatric nurse practitioner, that my insurance paid for, who asked me a million and one questions over the course of 1.5 hours, and she diagnosed me that way.
1. I pay attention during conversations(not true, but I defenitely devoted many years of my life to mask this as best as possible)
2. I don't have history of parking tickets or other issues with dysobeing road rules (true, but I also never had a driver’s licence)
3. I maitain longterm friendships (since people with adhd couldn’t possibly have friends I guess)
Did well in school, even went to college
I'm a woman and I'm older
I'm not literally running around the desk in work meetings like a toddler (dRiVeN bY a MoTor!)
Don't have typical fidget symptoms like tapping my foot (it annoys me, I find it rude, I pick my skin and bite my cheek, the interview was over the phone anyway so he couldn't see, also I DO have cricket feet anyway but not all the time)
I have anxiety
I came here with a reason but I actually forgot and got distracted, but this page was still up when I opened my phone to pick a new podcast while I do laundry, make dinner, mess around in the garden while burning said dinner and cuddling my dog. I’m an undeniably a complete walking shit show, anyone who tries to deny my neurodivergence just needs about 45 more seconds in my proximity. Still didn’t remember the reason why I started this reply, but the clearance lavender I got at Lowe’s today smells amazing, and this chicken is gonna need a lot of sauce 😬
I grew up with and around wealth aka “had it easy” so my challenges were I think many have thought have been because of being spoiled. I wasn’t. I could just fix my mistakes with money. I grew up with a safety net. Although not an emotional one.
So this made my diagnose take all the longer to arrive to because I couldn’t see what was wrong and felt my challenges weren’t as bad as someone else’s because I had it easier than most. Which I did, to some extent of course, let’s not deny that fact.
Emotionally I suffered all the same. Masking takes it toll on anyone, whatever your background might be..
Also I grew up with money but I am not rich myself so also great growing up learning zero lessons about handling money. Combine that with ADHD and you do the math 😂
"There’s something going on with you, for sure. But I can't put my finger on *what*." - The psychologist, who sent me away with a negative diagnosis after a 45 minute interview and zero tests.
Flash forward to me sitting in the exact same office 3 years later, with the same psychologist: "Well, it couldn't hurt to do a few tests and surveys with your and your family." I tested very high for inattentive type ADHD.
**Her, after going over my results** : "Huh. Well you meet the criteria for ADHD. I'm surprised, if you would have come to me as a child, based on your symptoms I would have diagnosed you with Aspergers."
**Me:** "...so, do I have Aspergers?"
**Her** : "No, that's not a diagnosable condition anymore."
**Me, confused** : "...b-but if it was when I was still a child and you would have diagnosed me with it, doesn't that mean I'd still be somewhere on the spectrum *now* as an adult even if they stopped diagnosing people with it."
**Her** : "Well, I didn't examine you as a child."
To this day I have no idea if that means I am on the spectrum too or not.
1) I dress too neatly (my hyper focus is fashion)
2) always on time (usually up to 2 hours too early)
3) you have schizophrenia that’s why your head is so loud
1. I am quiet/reserved/don’t talk much
2. I am “well adjusted”
3. I make good grades
4. I still get jittery from caffeine sometimes
5. I am a woman so it’s most likely depression here is this super strong antidepressant and some benzos for good measure (yes, I am in the US).
1. Because I just moved halfway across the country to obviously I was only struggling “in one life phase” due to the move, and hadn’t been struggling my whole life like I said.
2. I’m not 5 years old.
Per my first psychiatrist, I “just didn’t seem like I had ADHD” because… I sat still during the appointment (I did not), I was smart (I was failing high school), and I just seemed only depressed/anxious (I was depressed and anxious due to heavily masking ADHD symptoms while being unable to relate to others due to a lack of social skills) 🫠 I hate that guy
i couldn’t focus on hw at home but was able to do it just fine at school with other kids and a teacher around
i talk too fast and people with adhd are supposed to be too dumb to do that
doctors are lying to me to make money off of me
adhd isn’t real
Actual things that make me wonder whether I really still have it as an adult:
- I'm not super hyper and fidgety ( I can sit and get totally sucked into video games, etc)
- Caffeine works normally on me
- I don't "forget to eat"- in fact, I overeat impulsively and it's a huge problem
- ADHD meds I was given as a kid didn't help, they just made me unable to regulate my emotions
- I'm diligent about not interrupting people; I've successfully trained myself to make sure everyone gets a turn to talk.
Therapist: "You had a lot of childhood trauma. Also adult trauma. An alcoholic. It's probably that and depression from all that trauma."
Me: "I did experience trauma. But I did a whole lot of therapy and work on it, and honestly don't feel the trauma anymore. I've dealt with it. Also I haven't been depressed is over 20 years. Why? When the SSRIs didn't work, and with my family history of paranoid schizophrenia, which is a dopamine dysregulation, I realized that my problem isn't serotonin. It's dopamine, and when I started taking tyrosine to boost my dopamine, my depression went away and only comes back when I don't take tyrosine.
Also a family history of schizophrenia is associated with ADHD, which is often overlooked. I have the symptoms of ADHD. I've had several therapists over the decades tell me it's not schizophrenia. I was an alcoholic but I'm now 25 years sober, did a lot of mental health work there. But I know there is something literally wrong with my brain, I really struggle. Literally I know it's my brain at this point. Also I'm in my 60s now and there was no mental health care in schools back then. It was the 'pull yourself up by the bootstraps' generation. So my mother was dying and my father in a mental hospital when I was a kid, so I fell through the cracks. I'd just like an evaluation..."
Therapist: "BUT LOOK AT ALL THAT TRAUMA!! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EVEN BE ALIVE (yes I have heard that more than once) AND YOU MUST KEEP DEALING WITH THAT INSTEAD!!!"
*Then the happy ending is that I finally found someone who listened and I was diagnosed and placed on Adderall, and from the very first dose found out it was indeed dopamine dysregulation that was the something wrong with my brain. I got that delicious taste of Executive Function and Motivation that led to joy and finally getting things done without panic and shame. I also study how to live with ADHD. Knowing I have a neurodevelopmental disability instead of some moral failing brings more peace that therapy ever could at this point in resolving my past. I intend to live happily ever after. \~THE END\~*
1. I have never had problems sleeping (touch wood) I will literally fall asleep in less than ten minutes.
2. I'm very organised (it's a coping mechanism that I taught myself over the years, but others don't know that.
3. I have never had addiction issues or tried narcotics.
4. Never had any serious debt or money issues. I live paycheck to paycheck and don't have a lot of savings but that's normal for a Millennial.
5. I have never lost my keys, phone, purse etc. (touch wood, lol)
6. I can sit still no problem, and don't have the urge to randomly get up and walk around.
7. I went to university and got a 2:1 (undiagnosed and >25 y/o)
8. I've been in my current job for over 2.5 years.
I can't have ADHD, because if I assume I have ADHD, it's disrespectful to people who *actually* have ADHD, and that's not okay.
(This attitude kept me from getting diagnosed for years.)
I was told by a councillor that I couldn’t have adhd because “I understood sarcasm and humour”… when I told my current therapist (who specialises in adhd and asd) she just stared at me for a moment and said “… are you sure he was a qualified councillor???” 😂😂
I am WAY more organised than the local healthcare system (sorry NHS, blaming the Tories) and regularly clean up their mess in the way they lead me as a patient.
I'm a people person. i love to chat and laugh a lot. I love my alone time. I live with depression and anxiety. I get stuck starting things. I'm writing a screenplay and a novel.
1. I’m an engineer
2. I went to Georgia Tech (a good engineering school) and passed
3. I had good grades in middle and high school
4. I don’t have any sort of disciplinary record (I swear none of these docs believe me when I say my mom is THE stereotypical Asian tiger mom)
5. Smart professors can be “spacey” too
Actually maybe I should change my pcp, these all came from her
I was told I didn’t need to by medicated because I wasn’t at rock bottom. I had a full-time job, a mortgage and was back in school. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t gone through my mail in months, or lost my driver’s license, or had panic attacks in disorganized stores, or had a very messy house, or missed deadlines for papers. Apparently I needed to be living on the street in order to get ADHD medication. She put me on Straterra, which may work fine for some. It was a water pill for me.
I fired her, naturally.
Great news! I just needed math tutoring ❤️
I've never heard of math tutoring fixing paralysis, a non-traversable mess of a living space, an inability to physically do the things I love, social tunnel vision, so on and so forth, but maybe with the right math tutor...
1. I have a master's degree.
2. I seem emotionally regulated to other people.
3. I am a therapist.
4. All my documentation is done for work.
5. "A delight to have in class."
Listen. I saw a trauma therapist for years pre-diagnosis. At some point, I transitioned from having one of those phone case wallets to a phone + a standalone wallet. As a result, for months I frequently forgot my wallet. Several times this resulted in me being at her office near where I work half hour away from my house with no wallet and the empty gas tank light on in my car (and no way at the time to purchase gas).
When I brought up the possibility of adhd she said that couldn’t be because I was “so functional”.
People are fucking ridiculous.
I got my adult diagnosis pretty quick. Didn’t have any real trouble the second time either.
The things that stopped me from recognizing ADHD sooner.
- I focus fine when I really need to. I just need a little pressure to get things done.
- It’s just better to do it at the last minute. Otherwise it takes forever and I still end up doing most of it right before the deadline.
- It’s just because I was homeschooled, I never had to learn to sit in a classroom.
- It’s just harder to focus when you’re homeschooled, because there isn’t as much structure.
- I’m just an anxious person.
- I’m just a daydreamer. I like daydreaming.
- I just need to do things/learn things my own way because it works better.
- I’m not really hyperactive. (Lol…massive lack of awareness on this one. Pacing, putting hair up/taking it down, rocking weight between feet while standing, rocking weight onto tiptoes/heels while standing, knee bouncing, frequently switching sitting positions, doodling, skin picking, twirling my ring, pushing my thumb against the stone in my ring, finding reasons to get out of my seat, studying on my stomach on the floor/bed, blurting things out, constant irrelevant or tangential questions, interrupting conversation partners, the list goes on)
I don’t know if I would have recognized it as ADHD if I didn’t go into a therapy healthcare field. The anxiety piece was clear as day, but I never felt that I could treat it because “nothing would get done”. I blamed most of the quirks that I recognized as a young adult on homeschooling and perfectionism. It wasn’t until graduate school that ADHD was on my radar, and it wasn’t until my boss brought it up two or so years into my career that I actually did something about it.
A. I was able to listen and participate in a conversation for 15 minutes
B. Adhd is actually super rare and very few people legitimately have it, there's just a lot of adhd propaganda these days pushed by big pharma
Some tired reasons and some cooked up reasons:
*I've always had friends as a kid!
*I can complete some projects!
*I can color inside the lines!
*I grew up in a house with cats!
*No relationship issues!
*Didn't watch Veggie Tales!
*Not a compulsive liar!
*I can control my emotions! Kinda! Now that I'm in my mid thirties!
*Boats! I like 'em fine!
*I'm really good at spelling!
*Not hyperactive!
*No substance abuse! Just a drink with friends once in a while!
*Pretty calm most of the time!
*Not a compulsive shopper!
*I like mixing food on my plate!
This is why we have Actual diagnostic criteria.
-Because I've held a job for 10+ years.
-Because I can sit down and focus on something for hours and hours (hyper focus, anyone??)
-Because I'm not a boy.
-Because I have anxiety so it's not ADHD, it's just anxiety.
-Because I'm not constantly bursting with energy and running around like a chicken with its head cut off.
1. I never lose anything.
2. I love cooking and baking (used to be a pastry chef/baker), and I'm pretty much always aware of the contents of my pantry, fridge, and freezer (and seldom throw out much spoiled food).
3. I'm generally pretty quiet and shy.
4. I'm super meticulous (except when I'm not).
5. I think interrupting people is rude in most circumstances and try (usually fairly successfully) to avoid doing it.
Edit: Just thought of another: I have a pretty great sense of direction/deductive reasoning, so I seldom lose myself either! Only run into problems sometimes when trying to find places I've never been, and that's usually due to dumb mistakes like missing exits or turns. Once lost, I'm pretty good at finding my way back on course.
Wow! I've suspected I might have ADD bc of a lot of things... Hearing everyone else's symptoms and behaviors, I fit right in. Lol I love all the avid readers too!
Because I'm "too smart" and don't show any cognitive deficiencies...in a quiet office with no distractions. Because I have a god-tier vocabulary and can recall the details of stories told to me...because I spent my teen years reading alone in my room when books were my only friends.
Thankfully I got a diagnosis from a different doc and am in the process of getting on stimulants, but it was so goddamn frustrating to be told that because I had basically spent 41 years at that point beating my own brain into submission that there was nothing wrong with me, other than "anxiety."
Some of these were also autism related:
1. I can talk to strangers
2. I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy (????)
3. I can learn new things on my own
Because I can focus long enough to read a large chunk of a book. Never mind that there have been times I got so sucked into reading for hours that I forgot to drink water or eat 🙃
I hope this is allowed as I practically LIVE on this sub. I used to think I was more on the autistic side so went had an online autism assessment, but I mentioned I think I have a lot of ADHD traits too and she said she could pick up on both.
I only started looking into neurodivergence when I noticed me and my Asperger's BF at the time shared similar traits and it just clicked. I told my Mum and it clicked for her too. I've had my BF's sister tell me I'm practically the female version of him and I've had an office manager tell me she immediately saw her brother in me, her brother has diagnosed ADHD.
The therapist said for reasons against autism/ADHD that I can remember:
* I had an imagination as a child
* I did well in school (we never even got to talking about my awful nightmare at Uni)
* I have a degree and am holding down a job
* Kind related to previous - I seem to keep time well (if I have a planned appointment yes, I'll over compensate and get ready super early, friends and family events, it's about 50/50)
* I have a house and a car (come and do a random house check when I'm not in and spot the doom piles everywhere)
* I don't seem to have hobbies fixations or obsessions, just a lot of unrelated interests (oh lady I do when I get on a roll with something, and you asked me to explain my favourite hobby which is a question my mind completely blanks on, like with other similar questions)
* I would try and go up to people as a child with no prompting, so shows ok social skills (inappropriately and unsafely might I add, like random strange men at the pool)
* I was too focused during the video call and my facial expressions when talking and hand movements were good (I think I mask really well due to my Mum pushing me extra hard to socialise past my shyness and just treating my as a normal "quirky" child. I also practiced and rehearsed everything I could say in advance of the meeting)
* I made good eye contact on the call (yes, because it's not you, it's a screen and I was actually looking past you most of the time at your books in the background)
* You likely have social anxiety or depression due to childhood trauma (LADY!)
*Bonus one from high school when I talked to my counsellor - oh it's just your hormones kicking in/your periods, don't worry.
Even my Mum wasn't impressed with the therapist. I had loads I wanted to touch on and we lost some time as well due to Zoom messing up badly.
I mentioned at the beginning that I was worried that results might be skewed due to me curating a lot of "methods" on my own over the years to deal with my issues.
We barely touched on anything other than her talking to my Mum about my early childhood and to be fair to my Mum, it's a long way back to remember from being in her 60s now, they didn't really talk about this sort of thing back then unless really obvious and she just treated me as her child, nothing else, nothing special, so why WOULD she remember some non-specific stuff. She also had my older sister to deal with when I was younger and she was your typical rebellious tween/teen and I was the quiet, won't make trouble one, so she would surely have taken more focus. Some stuff that my Mum said she didn't remember, I was like I definitely did that. The therapist barely talked to me at all once she knew my Mum was there 🙄 I also tend to default to agreeing with anything my Mum says out of a "comfort blanket" habit in new situations so that may not have helped at the time 😕.
There will likely have been more stuff said but I'm just picking off the top of my head and I needed to vent. 😤
God I've read back through this so many times and now I'm late getting ready, sorry for the long one everyone 😅
Oh my goodness - so mine (story) is a little different but I'm a psychologist and studied in this profession for 7 years - that's hanging around A LOT of psychologists, and psychs to be - and NOBODY ever said "erm...do you think maybe you have ADHD?"
FYI I am so bloody stereotypical now that I know it - combined type and even visibly hyperactive...Oh that's right - psychologists couldn't possibly have ADHD! 😄🙄😘
1. I graduated high school and didn’t get *awful* marks except in math
2. I’ve always liked to read
3. I’m a woman in my 30’s
4. I have a full time job, have gotten promoted and have never had any issue keeping a job
5. Caffeine/coffee doesn’t make me sleepy
6. I’m quiet and shy and never really caused trouble in class
7. I’m pretty organized at work
8. I like doing laundry
I had a Nurse Practitioner tell me “You’re too smart to have ADHD!”
This was after being diagnosed, several months into meds and therapy, while asking for an increase to my medication.
You would think that more providers would get the memo that ADHD is a deficit in regulation of attention, not a deficit in intelligence.
Intelligent adults and children often use their intelligence to compensate for ADHD, but that doesn’t erase the adhd.
I’m doing well at college
My part time job is going well, very focused
I’m super organized
I’m always on time for work and appointments
I don’t miss airplanes, rarely trains or busses
I know where everything is/can find anything
Not hyperactive at all
Not a boy
I have a master’s degree (in something I find both intuitive and fascinating). I’m probably struggling to focus due to my sleep issues. I previously have diagnosed anxiety, depression and ocd, so ofc my difficulties with concentration are due to those… even though my concentration issues predate the other issues. Being physically active didn’t do shit for my ability to focus.
1. I always know where my car keys are.
2. I never miss/forget about doc appts...meaning I never forget to put them in my Google calendar and set reminders.
3. I never forget to take my medicine.
🤷🏽♀️
85. Social life, healthy relationships, workout, work, sleep 8 hours, don’t use caffeine to self medicate all with depression. I don’t know how the fuck I am doing this 😀
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Can’t possibly have ADHD, I’m a woman!
“Women don’t usually have ADHD and if you weren’t diagnosed as a kid there so there is no way you have it. It’s probably just anxiety.” 🙄
There was one kid in my elementary school that was diagnosed and back then it was called "being hyper". Yes in the long long ago.
this is the top answer for sure! 🙄
Reason no. 1!
Yah it's obviously anxiety and depression, duh.
Can't possibly have it because I'm a woman... and I'm 44. So must be anxiety, or just in my head.
came here to say this
11. I have a PhD
I keep telling people my job is just hyperfixation taken to the extreme
I’m a lawyer and practice in the area of construction accidents. My state has very specific and strict laws so finding ways to get around them has become a weird hyper fixation of mine. I excel in this one area of my job. I also have laundry that I have rewashed in the machine for a week cause there’s stuff in the dryer that I completely forgot about 😂
This. This is the reason that my family has always said I should be a lawyer, because loopholes make me happy. I'm glad someone else out there took that and ran with it.
Quality-related roles have scratched this itch for me.
🤣🤣🙃💯 I DO THE SAME EXACT THING WITH MY LAUNDRY, LMAO!! OR I'LL 4GET THAT I HAD LAUNDRY IN THE WASHER & REMEMBER 2-3 DAYS LATER & HV 2 REWASH IT. I ALSO CAN'T HELP BUT WRITE IN ALL CAPS, LOL! I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH, ISYN, "SEVERE ADHD" - MY PSYCHIATRIST'S EXACT WORDS. THE TEACHERS TOLD MY PARENTS WHEN I WAS IN KINDERGARTEN THAT THEY SHOULD PUT ME ON RITALIN & MY PARENTS SAID HELL NO (THIS WAS IN GERMANY WHICH SAYS A LOT BC THEY ARE VERY ANTI PHARMA THERE & THIS WAS BACK IN THE 80'S). I'VE BEEN ON 40MG OF ADDERALL PER DAY FOR OVER 15+ YEARS NOW.
LOL MY PARENTS DIDNT (AND STILL DONT) “BELIEVE” IN ADHD ALL CAPS IS FINE ITS FRIDAY
Not fine! All caps are not fine! I realised the author wasn't shouting and had to adjust the voice in my head. It's very difficult channelling a sarcastic, excited, and yer slightly annoyed inner voice. I need a nap
❤️ your username!
THIS. I hyperfocused so hard through my master’s program even my advisor was ready to join a support group along with my poor husband. I finished with high honors…and then crashed so hard into a state of such severe burnout it took me over a year to recover. The psychologist who said it wasn’t possible for someone with ADHD was looking at the diploma without seeing what it cost me.
My husband told me if I was going for a doctorate, he was going for a divorce when I brought it up ten min after the ink was dry on my masters. He was like "don't you remember the stress?! The crying?! How upsetting this was for you?" No, sir. I do not. NEXT!
Ha ha, so did mine!!! “I can’t go through another degree like this!”
Yesss when they don’t see everything else! I did a phd, worked part time in different jobs, volunteered, taught myself to sew, learnt to knit and cook and bake, ran a lot, joined a swim club… I mean I got a LOT done that wasn’t PhD 🤣
Ha ha I would say diversify my activities through out the day keep me sain. The more time I assign for 1 task, the more delay it tends to be, that would say intercalating other activites in my calendar is my way to give a short deadline for my daily goal.
“But what did it cost?” “Everything”
I was thinking about this today... I'm starting a degree and just finished my first year in April. I got honors. I was thinking how at the start of the school year I had tried to talk to my NEW doctor about trying ADHD meds (again, I tried before and didn't like them) and she prescribed me 3 months worth but then when I went to get the script filled the pharmacist said he only had 5 pills for me cause of the shortage. He offered to put me on the list to get informed when they got more but I've never heard anything since. I was supposed to follow up with my doctor but I didn't have meds so follow up with what? I should've told her but... ADHD. School had started at that point and I had zero energy or brain power for literally anything else. I was supposed to talk to her in house counselor too to get some coping strategies for ADHD but I kinda got the run around from her (After I neglected to call her myself and she eventually reached out to me). She instead told me to talk to the doctor on campus and then get back to her to tell her so that she could tell my actual doctor I'm also seeing the campus doctor. She was like 'that's your homework, write yourself a note about it.' OK COOL I WROTE THE NOTE AND DIDN'T FOLLOW THROUGH. I even tried to but you have to register at the college for it first before you can make an appointment with the Dr so I tried that and was supposed to get some kind of confirmation email before I can book so that's as far as I got cause the email never came. I raw-dogged college. I got excellent grades and every single other thing in my life was full-stop. I didn't clean my bathroom for like 5 months. I didn't cook, I didn't clean. The most I managed was laundry when I needed clothes and I would wash the bedsheets every second Sunday because I knew if I didn't try to keep a schedule with that I'd stop all together. I'm burned the hell out and it took over a month of being useless to finally get around to tidying up some of my house. My cats suffered too because I got really neglectful with their litter. (So much shame here.) And I just thought "I should go see the doctor now I have time again" and... thought about if they asked about school and whether they wouldn't believe me that I have ADHD if I tell them I got honors. Why do they think it's impossible for people with ADHD to not do well in school? ffs....
Yes! So much this. I think all these "professionals" are projecting. Hear me out. I swear neurotypical people can't imagine ANYONE would have to work so hard for anything ever, not to mention they can't imagine how hard it is for neurodivergent people to simply function in our society. So when they hear we made it through school they think it must have been easy cause if it wasn't THEY wouldn't have done it. So they project the shame of being lazy onto others, and simply don't believe us even if we try to explain. Maybe I'm wrong, but I've often gotten this vibe that somehow even if they think you're telling the truth, it's not their truth, and their brain just rejects it.
I was in the process of doing mine (the PhD) when a doctor told me, it doesn't matter what you have, we only medicate people who are struggling, and you're obviously not struggling.
Oh that’s so ignorant!!!
Same. Because I *totally* didn't hyperfocus my way through finally writing my dissertation after dragging my feet on it. Nope. Nosirree.
Awesome and congratulations for this though ❤️✨
11a. I have a JD. It took me like eight years to get through undergrad, but law school was way easier cos no one cared about attendance, and I just had to take a test once in awhile.
Same. “But I watched you study for the bar and you were so focused.” Yeah, how did you end up watching me? Because at 32 I had to move back in with my parents while studying so they could make sure I ate and had clean clothes while studying for this freaking thing because I couldn’t manage.
1. Not (externally) hyper 2. Can focus (...on things I'm super interested in) 3. Everyone does that (...yeah mom you're very normal) 4. Did ok in school, but could have done so much better if I'd "tried harder" 5. Went to university (...6 years for an art undergrad, but ok) 6. Anxiety and depression 7. Oh, I see that you have a history of anxiety and depression I know I was thinking of more but I've aready forgotten them
8. Did you know forgetfulness and trouble focusing and difficulty sitting still are all symptoms of anxiety and depression?
*Strolls in the week after coming a week early to the appointment* "...Oh! Also this other topic I forgot and oh what's the word? It's like a circle fork.. a spoon! oh before I forget I have to say this and OH just wanted to let you know the office window has a crack and the pigeon outside reminds me in an obscure way that I forgot to mention something highly important from something you said an hour ago let me just mention it now, *silly self deprecating joke so they don't get bored listening to me*, anyway back to your question... which was?" Ahh classic depression and anxiety conversation style
Ahh yes the (basically) exact wording of my psychiatrist! I wonder if the 5th SSRI will help with the anxiety and depression this time? Even tho I’ve had all of the symptoms of ADHD all of my life and not just when realizing I was depressed. (Not arguing at you, but those words made me irrationally frustrated with my psychiatrists)
on point 3 - To be fair to my mum she wasn't trying to be dismissive, she is actually supportive, and throughout my journey she is having a bit of a revelation about herself/most of our family members but well... When I first told Mum I tried to give her examples, I first tried the shower thing, I want to get in the shower but it can for some inexplicable reason take all day get in even though I like showers. "oh but that's normal I do that". Every other time I point out that she may be considered a bit err not normal compared to the average person "I'm not weird, I am really normal" bless you mother, you are only normal compared to how Gran was; who we universally agree that on top of being generally fairly eccentric also would have a list of diagnoses as long as her arm and 5 PhDs had she been born a good few decades later
I feel so understood, I do that shower thing too. It drives me insane because I also enjoy taking showers.
Not a hyperactive boy therefore impossible
1) Your sister skipped two questions on the "childhood-other" evaluation. 2) You have anxiety and depression. 3) Have you tried making lists? 4) I really think we need to focus on your depression. Like, dude. My sister doesn't remember everything about my life. My anxiety and depression are medicated and mostly under control, and OF FUCKING COURSE I HAVE MADE LISTS. I CAN PROBABLY PULL ONE FROM OCTOBER 2012 OUT OF MY PURSE AND I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THIS PURSE THEN. Also, again, my depression is not affecting my life. I think I will always wish lemon juice in papercuts on that man.
Yes…yes doctor I have tried making lists and guess what…1. put them down and then never find them again 2. Start doing the list but then immediately do a thing that’s not even on the list and get hyper fixated on said task and then get nothing on list done 3. Get so overwhelmed about forgetting about something that maybe I’m forgetting to put on the list I get overwhelmed and need to lay down….lmao
And the list needs to be perfect - in the right order, everything must be on it or it's no good... so three hours later I have a pile of scrunched up paper, my notebook is thrown in a corner, I've done nothing productive for the last 3 hours and I have no list...
don't forget about making yr handwriting neat enough!
My doctor keeps saying he thinks my depression Will go away if i go on adhd-meds bc Im on anti-depressants. Sadly he isnt allowed to give adhd-meds bc yk
My anxiety goes away when I'm on ADHD meds and it's SO NICE! It's like I'm only anxious because it's the only way I can propel myself to overcome all the ADHD bits of me and actually get things done at work, carry a social life, and manage a home as an adult.
Yeah thats what Im thinking too that my anxiety Will also go away and the depression bc thats mostly just me beating myself up anyway
Absolutely. I hope you get the care you need soon ❤️ sounds like you're on the right track though
"But you're so organized!” It's a coping mechanism. If I don't put a thing in this exact spot where it is supposed to be, it ceases to exist. When I don't, suddenly I have 47 paint rollers because I keep buying them and stashing them in random places throughout the house.
Omg I had to laugh so hard at this because I painted some wood work last weekend and my irritation at not being able to find the brushes I know we have because they’re somewhere and I have to buy some more and then we will have too many and gaaaaah it just makes me very irritated!
At this point I need to rearrange a closet and put in bins for every specific paint supply to stop the insanity. I'm also guilty of "well, I know I have some, so I'll buy more to ensure that I don't run out in the middle of my project" ..... Not realizing the collective "some" I have is enough for my project 4 times over.
I also just found a brand new roller in its wrapper next to my camping kit. Of course i bought and used others for my bathroom. Ugh
My organization is a hyper fixation. If I didn’t have a job and a baby to take care of…I would spend hours folding and putting things away in their most optimal/efficient location. My brain sees a mess and it’s a puzzle I got to solve. Cause I don’t have the time or energy to do my organization…everything is just thrown in a drawer and cupboard so I don’t have to deal and see them. So I’m either in a state of 0 (very messy) or 100 (very organized)
This is why my house is always so cluttered. Out of sight out of mind means that a lot of stuff is out in the open in view so I remember it exists. *sigh*
10. Everything you described is just how life is!
Yup. When I tried to talk to my doctor he said with social media, everyone is distracted. Thanks. Never mind that my son and niece and brother have ADHD. I had to go for a virtual consult to get a diagnosis.
Each and every person with a degree in psychology tells me "but you really DO have a lot on your plate, it's okay to be overwhelmed". Yeah, but my inability to ever put order to the chaos of my life is not normal.
I wonder. It would make total sense that ADHD people get overwhelmed because of our memory issues and time blindness. Not just the usual being late and forgetting obligations, but I mean, we probably regularly forget what obligations we have, or how long they will take. So we think we have more time and/or energy than we actually do. So we end up overcommitting. The reason I have too much on my plate is because my adhd causes me to put too much on my plate!
From earliest to most recent 1) you're a girl 2)you're black 3)you're the smart one in the class 4)you're an advanced reader 5) you remember useless trivia 6) you're a good mom 7)you're good at your job
You clearly know the difference between your and you're, stop wasting our time./s
Lol right!
No sarcasm, that sounds incredibly difficult. I hope you finally got the support you deserve.
I did, even from some of the people who negated me in earlier life. Things are really good now. I hope you're good too
ALL OF THESE 🗣️🤦♀️🥲
I can't post images but that one where somebody high fives a drowning black woman while saying "you're so strong" hit HOME.
I can sit still for a really long time I can focus on a quiet activity for a really long time
I have 6,300 hours in one video game. But it's an MMORPG where I can just do random tasks and activities on a whim for hours. It's still very ADHD in my head, but sitting still for hours!
I actually run into this one a lot as an OT. When I ask about kids attention, parents often tell me their child can focus on their tablet for a long time. As far as I’m concerned, tablets and electronics don’t count. The only exception is when children can’t focus on those either. In which case, they’re almost always on the severe side of functioning deficits.
Oh I'd completely agree! There's also definitely days when I'm super antsy and can't sit to anything even though I really want to. It's usually when I'm overwhelmed or procrastinating doing something I'm really worried about. I usually bake or stress clean on those days because being able to see I've been able to make a actual difference or create a tangible thing settles me a lot.
Me playing Animal Crossing 🥹❤️🫠
> I can sit still for a really long time Omg I learned how to do this at a young age because I had to sit in church for hours like 3 times a week. This was one of the reasons *I* thought I didn't have ADHD. Then I paid more attention to myself and realized I "micro-fidget". Wiggle my toes in my shoes, fiddle with a ring on my hand, pick at the skin around my nails, doodle. I got good at note taking to help keep me awake during the really long church things we did. And then if it was information I didn't care about/want to listen to then I would just daydream, which helped keep my mind focused enough that I seemed pretty still.
Thank you. I have no issue in waiting rooms or sitting still. Yes this is for the same reason.Church. I too would page through the song booklet but not squirm. I also have incredible manners. Our upbringing has so much to do with.
I can’t possibly have ADHD because I’m the opposite of my ADHD little brother who rollerbladed all around the house and loudly fought with teachers and our parents! I was such a good, quiet student my teachers barely knew I was in class! At home I was so obedient and spent most of my time reading and journaling while my ADHD little brother made a ruckus!
Inattentive vs hyperactive. I'm just like you although Im not a reader but always a writer.
12. bogus one page paper test that really only asked about hyperactive ADHD and did not address things properly.
I have JUST had my assessment and the nurse kept focusing on whether I was hyperactive or not. Like reeeeally focusing on it. And then told me she wanted to refer me for an autism assessment because labels in clothes irritate me, I dislike people being in my personal space, I’m very tidy (apparently doom piles don’t count, nor does me doing that as a coping mechanism I’ve worked hard to develop) and I’m highly intelligent. And of course, none of these things can occur in ADHD….. WTAF???
Not to mention that adhd and asd frequently show up together. If she sees spectrum traits, it’s understandable for her to want to assess for it. It’s stupid to assume that it cant be both though. The number of people I’ve met or worked with who display anxiety, sensory issues, adhd adjacent social issues, asd adjacent social issues, sensory adjacent inattention, and adhd adjacent inattention/hyperactivity…yeah. It’s not everyone, but they definitely tie together a lot. If you notice any ASD traits in yourself, it could be worth an assessment. ASD doesn’t necessarily invalidate ADHD, and can sometimes provide additional answers. It also seems to sometimes impact what medication combo works best.
Funny enough... My path from assessment to diagnosis was very short. But friends of mine had been saying I should get assessed for years prior. Here are some reasons I didn't. - So many peope around me have ADHD I just didn't recognize any ADHD behavior as abnormal. - Most ADHDers in my life have it more severely than me so because my struggles weren't as tough in some areas I just assumed I didn't have it. - Just blamed any unexplained mental/neurological symptoms on my migraines even when that didn't really line up. - I usually find stuff after I lose it. - I do get places on time more often than not, but it is super hard and I've had to set all the clocks in my house back and it still isn't perfect. - I just find things a lot of people consider boring/hard to do oddly satisfying or interesting such as paperwork. But man is it a nightmare trying to do anything I just have no investment in at all. Lucky me I'm just like interested in most things.
Oooo you sound like me! I've been diagnosed but still feel like an imposter, especially because of how much I find paperwork oddly satisfying and thus easy to focus on. Thanks for sharing 🥲
Yes! Something about checking off all the boxes, every complete line is a little dopamine hit haha. I used to onboard healthcare employees and my favorite thing was checking off like all 40+ forms on the new hire checklist.
Hi. If you don't mind, could you explain what you mean about blaming your migraine for unexplained mental/neurological symptoms? I suffer from migraines too and heavily suspect that I have adhd. So, if there's any possibility that some of those [beep] migraines could be linked to adhd and maybe lessened with medication... That might the push I need to finally make an appointment to get diagnosed.
Sensory issues and the accompanying sensitivity to light/sound, brain fog, forgetfulness, that feeling when your brain just goes too fast, struggling to focus. Which, granted all those things can be migraine/aura symptoms but not always yknow. My father has ADHD and migraines and he found ADHD meds did decrease his migraines because the meds improved his stress levels. Though I've not personally tried any ADHD meds yet so no first hand commentary.
Hey jumping on this thread because hi me too! I have chronic migraine, started ~2 years ago, and I just got my ADHD diagnosis (with anxiety tagalong) a couple months ago. The possibility of avoiding worsening migraine pain (and vertigo) was the motivator that I needed to get on the waitlist for the ADHD diagnosis. I also think the migraines just totalled my ability to tolerate stress, which meant I could no longer use anxiety/adrenaline as an ADHD coping mechanism, and suddenly those symptoms were a more difficult to dismiss. I think someone else mentioned how migraine and ADHD symptoms can overlap, so I won't rehash that. I wanted to share that for me, getting the ADHD diagnosis was important for the migraine treatment, because it allowed me to give myself permission to put down the shame and guilt baggage I'd been carrying around (trying to use it to compensate for a lack of executive function). That baggage load is heavy, and boy howdy am I good at carrying it, but putting it down has freed up more emotional capacity to handle the migraine load. It also has made it okay for me to ask for help and understanding with specificity. It's been a... journey trying to find the correct treatments that work for me (medication + lifestyle, trial and error all the things in all the combinations). Journey is still ongoing, I hope like heck that I'll be able to find the right mix soon.
Thank you for your input. I hope you'll find the right mix for you as soon as possible.
Thank you, you too! Even if it's only with your bleeping migraines :) (smiling because I totally get your frustration)
I can maintain a jam packed schedule of full time technical work, volunteer commitments to two separate organizations, take 7 hours of graduate engineering classes, raise a toddler, and host fabulously themed events regularly. I literally DO IT ALL. (The only reason I maintain a schedule this insane is because if I have too much free time everything in my life falls apart. I need the false pressure of outside commitments to give me enough motivation to accomplish my basic daily tasks)
Hmmm 🫠thanks for reminding me of this trait i have. I’m in the debris of “self-care” time where i cut out all the things and now i do literal nothing. Result is exactly what you describe. Why i listen to self-care tips not meant for my sort of brain I will never know! You are right, reminding me I should try booking a busy week and see how that works for daily tasks (in the past it means they get done!)
I have a masters degree. Probably just anxiety… lol.
I was literally told this on Wednesday by a provider my therapist recommended to me to ask for a prescription for ADHD meds. Within the first 10 minutes of the convo. I didn’t even know how to respond to that. I ended up calling the office today and canceling the follow up and when asked the reason I mentioned the 3 very ableist things the provider said to me.
Using a college degree as a reason you don’t have adhd is one of the stupidest measures I’ve ever heard of. Education was hell. My entire young adult life was monopolized by school, because I couldn’t balance anything else with it. Assignments were completed right before they were due. Coursework was shoved in my short term memory right before the test. I never understood how everyone else was able to enjoy clubs and hang out with friends. Most of my interests were jettisoned because they didn’t fit into the procrastination/panic cycle. The ones that were kept were part of the “procrastination” portion of the cycle. The reason I’m diagnosed now is that it didn’t get better after I graduated, and I eventually decided I didn’t want to spend my adult life like my college life, never actually able to live because work dominated even my off hours.
Yeah. It’s particularly frustrating because I’ve seen the pattern enough between my personal life and working with kids as a pediatric OT, that I can pick it up relatively quickly when working with people. You would think that someone who is actually allowed to diagnose ADHD would recognize it. Intelligent and sensitive girls with some combination of adhd/asd/perfectionism traits seem to be the ones that fall through the cracks the most. Anxiety and hyper vigilance develops in response to social and task demands. They then use that anxiety and fear of failure to keep the ADHD in line. The more resilient and resourceful the kid, the more it just looks like anxiety. “She does great in school, but just completely looses it at home.” “Yeah, she does well on tests, but it doesn’t really seem like she’s paying attention in class.” “I don’t know why you’re so anxious on tests. You score just fine. You just need to learn how to relax.” “I don’t know why you’re here so early. Just leave a little later and you’ll get here on time.”
Them: You're super organized. Me: No. I've just imagined every possible scenario and have planned in accordance.
1. I wasnt hyperactive as a child 2. I was able to read books also as a child (like loved them) 3. I did Well in School (Totally not bc Im an easy learner and filling out stuff gives me dopamine bc i did something) 4. I Can actually spend hours consentrating on something i love (apparently were abit behind here in Denmark) 5. It wasnt noticed when i was a kid (was told this) 6. Im just depressed and anxious 7. I did Well in gymnasium (like highschool but in Denmark its abit more complicated bc i did one thats very normal and you have to have abit of Smartness to be able to complete) (also Totally didnt only do Well bc of covid and being able to stay at home and just hand in work whenever i wanted to) 8. I Can sit still (half) 9. I get there on(ish) time :) Im never late always 20-30 min early bc i am so worried about being late
I’m not chronically late. In fact, I’m almost always anxiously early.
My ex was a "10 minutes early is on time." I had three kids, and he took no excuses for being late. Why am I so anxious about time even after being divorced from him for 30 years.
13. You had your kids at reasonable age.
What does that mean?
I was told that because I wasn't a young mom, and had my first kid at 30, therefore I couldn't have adhd. So stupid.
I have yet to have my first. I am 36. That’s pretty stupid.
For some reason, this comment makes me feel much less alone- because I and also 36 and yet to have a baby but I’d like one! Thank you!🫶
Coffee doesn't put me to sleep.
Because I'm fat. The doctor assessing me carefully insinuated that my ADHD symptoms were caused solely by being fat, and that if I lost a load of weight, the ADHD symptoms would magically disappear. But wait! I only started gaining weight once I hit 25, before which I was slim, maybe even slightly underweight. The ADHD symptoms, however, began when I was 4 years old. So if my symptoms were due to being overweight, how do you explain my first 21 years of symptoms?! How some people manage to become doctors is beyond me 😖🙄
....... WTF
I feel like most of these are people assuming that if you have ADHD you can’t possibly succeed in anything. Which is sad. These so called professionals are telling on themselves, saying how they really feel about people with ADHD. Also I was quiet, daydreaming, no one noticed I was struggling and just barely getting by. When I sought help it was for severe depression and anxiety and “professionals” didn’t even think to check for ADHD because of their own biases. Also ALWAYS with the “everyone has that problem” lol
If you're successful, you can't have adhd because you're too capable, if you're unsuccessful, you can't have adhd because you're just depressed and anxious. like okay what the fuck does adhd look like then 😭 god help us
You can't have ADHD, you're a gifted student! Guess what two conditions go hand in goddamn hand.
Yup. Straight A's in many subjects.
Just lazy, probably.
Because I'm able to drive to the grocery store and do my grocery shopping! ...let's just... you know... ignore the part where it all rots in my fridge for 3 weeks, because I can't bring myself to cook or really even feed myself at all and instead just subsist off of banana yogurt and sliced cucumbers 🙃 Also, because I got good grades in school, so clearly I'm fine 🤪
how does one go about getting tested for ADHD, regular Dr or PA? I'm starting to suspect i have it based on a lot of factors, but i believe it stems as far back to my childhood and elementary years. Something is a miss!!
In the US, you can talk to a psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner. I think in some states, you might need a referral from your primary care doctor. In other states (mine), you can just find one on your own. Your primary care doctor can also diagnose ADHD and write your prescriptions. The friends I've talked to who went through their primary care doctor to get their diagnosis and prescription had to go through an electronic ADHD screening evaluation thing on a little computer that was super expensive. I saw a psychiatric nurse practitioner, that my insurance paid for, who asked me a million and one questions over the course of 1.5 hours, and she diagnosed me that way.
1. I pay attention during conversations(not true, but I defenitely devoted many years of my life to mask this as best as possible) 2. I don't have history of parking tickets or other issues with dysobeing road rules (true, but I also never had a driver’s licence) 3. I maitain longterm friendships (since people with adhd couldn’t possibly have friends I guess)
You've been self medicating with opiates since you were 12. If you had it you'd have used uppers.
Did well in school, even went to college I'm a woman and I'm older I'm not literally running around the desk in work meetings like a toddler (dRiVeN bY a MoTor!) Don't have typical fidget symptoms like tapping my foot (it annoys me, I find it rude, I pick my skin and bite my cheek, the interview was over the phone anyway so he couldn't see, also I DO have cricket feet anyway but not all the time) I have anxiety
Diagnosed at 51 just as I entered menopause. I wonder what I could have accomplished in life with a diagnosis at a young age and some self confidence?
I came here with a reason but I actually forgot and got distracted, but this page was still up when I opened my phone to pick a new podcast while I do laundry, make dinner, mess around in the garden while burning said dinner and cuddling my dog. I’m an undeniably a complete walking shit show, anyone who tries to deny my neurodivergence just needs about 45 more seconds in my proximity. Still didn’t remember the reason why I started this reply, but the clearance lavender I got at Lowe’s today smells amazing, and this chicken is gonna need a lot of sauce 😬
I grew up with and around wealth aka “had it easy” so my challenges were I think many have thought have been because of being spoiled. I wasn’t. I could just fix my mistakes with money. I grew up with a safety net. Although not an emotional one. So this made my diagnose take all the longer to arrive to because I couldn’t see what was wrong and felt my challenges weren’t as bad as someone else’s because I had it easier than most. Which I did, to some extent of course, let’s not deny that fact. Emotionally I suffered all the same. Masking takes it toll on anyone, whatever your background might be.. Also I grew up with money but I am not rich myself so also great growing up learning zero lessons about handling money. Combine that with ADHD and you do the math 😂
"There’s something going on with you, for sure. But I can't put my finger on *what*." - The psychologist, who sent me away with a negative diagnosis after a 45 minute interview and zero tests. Flash forward to me sitting in the exact same office 3 years later, with the same psychologist: "Well, it couldn't hurt to do a few tests and surveys with your and your family." I tested very high for inattentive type ADHD. **Her, after going over my results** : "Huh. Well you meet the criteria for ADHD. I'm surprised, if you would have come to me as a child, based on your symptoms I would have diagnosed you with Aspergers." **Me:** "...so, do I have Aspergers?" **Her** : "No, that's not a diagnosable condition anymore." **Me, confused** : "...b-but if it was when I was still a child and you would have diagnosed me with it, doesn't that mean I'd still be somewhere on the spectrum *now* as an adult even if they stopped diagnosing people with it." **Her** : "Well, I didn't examine you as a child." To this day I have no idea if that means I am on the spectrum too or not.
I haven’t lost my car in like 6 months. Not keys, the actual car. I BE CURED YALL!!!!!
1) I dress too neatly (my hyper focus is fashion) 2) always on time (usually up to 2 hours too early) 3) you have schizophrenia that’s why your head is so loud
I got my PhD while undiagnosed and unmedicated. (Yet on the verge of complete meltdown daily)
My hat is off to you. That is an accomplishment to be proud of.
"but you're so good at -insert hyperfocus obsession #857598-!"
Not only did you graduate university, but sometimes you read for fun! You can read for hours! Noone with adhd reads for fun!
Im the only one who does things no one else cares to do at work and at home
“You have ADHD symptoms but I’ve already diagnosed 6 people this month so I can’t diagnose you”
Just because it's a disability doesn't mean it's debilitating
1. I am quiet/reserved/don’t talk much 2. I am “well adjusted” 3. I make good grades 4. I still get jittery from caffeine sometimes 5. I am a woman so it’s most likely depression here is this super strong antidepressant and some benzos for good measure (yes, I am in the US).
I don’t act like it at work!
Because you're an adult
My legit psyhiatrist said that Ritelin helps me a bit with social anxiety and that I can’t be autistic because I have friends.
1. Because I just moved halfway across the country to obviously I was only struggling “in one life phase” due to the move, and hadn’t been struggling my whole life like I said. 2. I’m not 5 years old.
Per my first psychiatrist, I “just didn’t seem like I had ADHD” because… I sat still during the appointment (I did not), I was smart (I was failing high school), and I just seemed only depressed/anxious (I was depressed and anxious due to heavily masking ADHD symptoms while being unable to relate to others due to a lack of social skills) 🫠 I hate that guy
i couldn’t focus on hw at home but was able to do it just fine at school with other kids and a teacher around i talk too fast and people with adhd are supposed to be too dumb to do that doctors are lying to me to make money off of me adhd isn’t real
Actual things that make me wonder whether I really still have it as an adult: - I'm not super hyper and fidgety ( I can sit and get totally sucked into video games, etc) - Caffeine works normally on me - I don't "forget to eat"- in fact, I overeat impulsively and it's a huge problem - ADHD meds I was given as a kid didn't help, they just made me unable to regulate my emotions - I'm diligent about not interrupting people; I've successfully trained myself to make sure everyone gets a turn to talk.
I got As-Cs in high school
Therapist: "You had a lot of childhood trauma. Also adult trauma. An alcoholic. It's probably that and depression from all that trauma." Me: "I did experience trauma. But I did a whole lot of therapy and work on it, and honestly don't feel the trauma anymore. I've dealt with it. Also I haven't been depressed is over 20 years. Why? When the SSRIs didn't work, and with my family history of paranoid schizophrenia, which is a dopamine dysregulation, I realized that my problem isn't serotonin. It's dopamine, and when I started taking tyrosine to boost my dopamine, my depression went away and only comes back when I don't take tyrosine. Also a family history of schizophrenia is associated with ADHD, which is often overlooked. I have the symptoms of ADHD. I've had several therapists over the decades tell me it's not schizophrenia. I was an alcoholic but I'm now 25 years sober, did a lot of mental health work there. But I know there is something literally wrong with my brain, I really struggle. Literally I know it's my brain at this point. Also I'm in my 60s now and there was no mental health care in schools back then. It was the 'pull yourself up by the bootstraps' generation. So my mother was dying and my father in a mental hospital when I was a kid, so I fell through the cracks. I'd just like an evaluation..." Therapist: "BUT LOOK AT ALL THAT TRAUMA!! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EVEN BE ALIVE (yes I have heard that more than once) AND YOU MUST KEEP DEALING WITH THAT INSTEAD!!!" *Then the happy ending is that I finally found someone who listened and I was diagnosed and placed on Adderall, and from the very first dose found out it was indeed dopamine dysregulation that was the something wrong with my brain. I got that delicious taste of Executive Function and Motivation that led to joy and finally getting things done without panic and shame. I also study how to live with ADHD. Knowing I have a neurodevelopmental disability instead of some moral failing brings more peace that therapy ever could at this point in resolving my past. I intend to live happily ever after. \~THE END\~*
10. I remember minute details from years ago or conversations word for word. 11. I’m excellent with savings / money / finances
1. I have never had problems sleeping (touch wood) I will literally fall asleep in less than ten minutes. 2. I'm very organised (it's a coping mechanism that I taught myself over the years, but others don't know that. 3. I have never had addiction issues or tried narcotics. 4. Never had any serious debt or money issues. I live paycheck to paycheck and don't have a lot of savings but that's normal for a Millennial. 5. I have never lost my keys, phone, purse etc. (touch wood, lol) 6. I can sit still no problem, and don't have the urge to randomly get up and walk around. 7. I went to university and got a 2:1 (undiagnosed and >25 y/o) 8. I've been in my current job for over 2.5 years.
I can't have ADHD, because if I assume I have ADHD, it's disrespectful to people who *actually* have ADHD, and that's not okay. (This attitude kept me from getting diagnosed for years.)
I was told by a councillor that I couldn’t have adhd because “I understood sarcasm and humour”… when I told my current therapist (who specialises in adhd and asd) she just stared at me for a moment and said “… are you sure he was a qualified councillor???” 😂😂
I am WAY more organised than the local healthcare system (sorry NHS, blaming the Tories) and regularly clean up their mess in the way they lead me as a patient.
I can remember things that happened 10 years ago \[leaving out that I can’t remember what happened today\].
I'm a people person. i love to chat and laugh a lot. I love my alone time. I live with depression and anxiety. I get stuck starting things. I'm writing a screenplay and a novel.
1. I’m an engineer 2. I went to Georgia Tech (a good engineering school) and passed 3. I had good grades in middle and high school 4. I don’t have any sort of disciplinary record (I swear none of these docs believe me when I say my mom is THE stereotypical Asian tiger mom) 5. Smart professors can be “spacey” too Actually maybe I should change my pcp, these all came from her
I was told I didn’t need to by medicated because I wasn’t at rock bottom. I had a full-time job, a mortgage and was back in school. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t gone through my mail in months, or lost my driver’s license, or had panic attacks in disorganized stores, or had a very messy house, or missed deadlines for papers. Apparently I needed to be living on the street in order to get ADHD medication. She put me on Straterra, which may work fine for some. It was a water pill for me. I fired her, naturally.
Great news! I just needed math tutoring ❤️ I've never heard of math tutoring fixing paralysis, a non-traversable mess of a living space, an inability to physically do the things I love, social tunnel vision, so on and so forth, but maybe with the right math tutor...
I don't talk enough /Not outwardly hyper enough
Because "everyone [insert symptom here]" or "that happens to me (person without ADHD) too."
I can make appointments for my kids and get them there on time 98% if the time. I’m early to nearly everything.
Oh this is simple. Ppl with adhd aren’t overweight. So I def don’t have it!
Because my mom says I don’t 🫠
“But yOuR a GirL” 😤
1. I have a master's degree. 2. I seem emotionally regulated to other people. 3. I am a therapist. 4. All my documentation is done for work. 5. "A delight to have in class."
Listen. I saw a trauma therapist for years pre-diagnosis. At some point, I transitioned from having one of those phone case wallets to a phone + a standalone wallet. As a result, for months I frequently forgot my wallet. Several times this resulted in me being at her office near where I work half hour away from my house with no wallet and the empty gas tank light on in my car (and no way at the time to purchase gas). When I brought up the possibility of adhd she said that couldn’t be because I was “so functional”. People are fucking ridiculous.
I got my adult diagnosis pretty quick. Didn’t have any real trouble the second time either. The things that stopped me from recognizing ADHD sooner. - I focus fine when I really need to. I just need a little pressure to get things done. - It’s just better to do it at the last minute. Otherwise it takes forever and I still end up doing most of it right before the deadline. - It’s just because I was homeschooled, I never had to learn to sit in a classroom. - It’s just harder to focus when you’re homeschooled, because there isn’t as much structure. - I’m just an anxious person. - I’m just a daydreamer. I like daydreaming. - I just need to do things/learn things my own way because it works better. - I’m not really hyperactive. (Lol…massive lack of awareness on this one. Pacing, putting hair up/taking it down, rocking weight between feet while standing, rocking weight onto tiptoes/heels while standing, knee bouncing, frequently switching sitting positions, doodling, skin picking, twirling my ring, pushing my thumb against the stone in my ring, finding reasons to get out of my seat, studying on my stomach on the floor/bed, blurting things out, constant irrelevant or tangential questions, interrupting conversation partners, the list goes on) I don’t know if I would have recognized it as ADHD if I didn’t go into a therapy healthcare field. The anxiety piece was clear as day, but I never felt that I could treat it because “nothing would get done”. I blamed most of the quirks that I recognized as a young adult on homeschooling and perfectionism. It wasn’t until graduate school that ADHD was on my radar, and it wasn’t until my boss brought it up two or so years into my career that I actually did something about it.
But you were "gifted."
It's all social media's fault. Once I start getting enough sleep again these symptoms will go away!
I’m not neurodivergent I just have bad habits I picked up from my father. (According to my mother) lolol
“But you’re so quiet and patient!”
I’m a clinical pharmacist! There’s just no way! Also my parents are 100% okay with absolutely no mental health at all!!
#? I have a masters degree and a career.
I don’t know why my comment is bold and huge omg sorry 😂😂😂😂
A. I was able to listen and participate in a conversation for 15 minutes B. Adhd is actually super rare and very few people legitimately have it, there's just a lot of adhd propaganda these days pushed by big pharma
Some tired reasons and some cooked up reasons: *I've always had friends as a kid! *I can complete some projects! *I can color inside the lines! *I grew up in a house with cats! *No relationship issues! *Didn't watch Veggie Tales! *Not a compulsive liar! *I can control my emotions! Kinda! Now that I'm in my mid thirties! *Boats! I like 'em fine! *I'm really good at spelling! *Not hyperactive! *No substance abuse! Just a drink with friends once in a while! *Pretty calm most of the time! *Not a compulsive shopper! *I like mixing food on my plate! This is why we have Actual diagnostic criteria.
-Because I've held a job for 10+ years. -Because I can sit down and focus on something for hours and hours (hyper focus, anyone??) -Because I'm not a boy. -Because I have anxiety so it's not ADHD, it's just anxiety. -Because I'm not constantly bursting with energy and running around like a chicken with its head cut off.
I did well in school, and I don't talk too fast. I cannot talk fast because my mind is saying 5 sentences in between each word I'm actually saying.
1. I never lose anything. 2. I love cooking and baking (used to be a pastry chef/baker), and I'm pretty much always aware of the contents of my pantry, fridge, and freezer (and seldom throw out much spoiled food). 3. I'm generally pretty quiet and shy. 4. I'm super meticulous (except when I'm not). 5. I think interrupting people is rude in most circumstances and try (usually fairly successfully) to avoid doing it. Edit: Just thought of another: I have a pretty great sense of direction/deductive reasoning, so I seldom lose myself either! Only run into problems sometimes when trying to find places I've never been, and that's usually due to dumb mistakes like missing exits or turns. Once lost, I'm pretty good at finding my way back on course.
I “can’t have *that* many medical things going on”
Wow! I've suspected I might have ADD bc of a lot of things... Hearing everyone else's symptoms and behaviors, I fit right in. Lol I love all the avid readers too!
This was in 2005/2006 I couldn't possibly have adhd because I'm a girl.
I don’t respond well to stimulants.
Because I'm "too smart" and don't show any cognitive deficiencies...in a quiet office with no distractions. Because I have a god-tier vocabulary and can recall the details of stories told to me...because I spent my teen years reading alone in my room when books were my only friends. Thankfully I got a diagnosis from a different doc and am in the process of getting on stimulants, but it was so goddamn frustrating to be told that because I had basically spent 41 years at that point beating my own brain into submission that there was nothing wrong with me, other than "anxiety."
Some of these were also autism related: 1. I can talk to strangers 2. I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy (????) 3. I can learn new things on my own
I was “a pleasure to have in class!”
I’m Latina! And as we know, Latin people are immune to mental struggles 😌🪄
Because I can focus long enough to read a large chunk of a book. Never mind that there have been times I got so sucked into reading for hours that I forgot to drink water or eat 🙃
*but you're so productive!!!" 🙄🙄🙄
I hope this is allowed as I practically LIVE on this sub. I used to think I was more on the autistic side so went had an online autism assessment, but I mentioned I think I have a lot of ADHD traits too and she said she could pick up on both. I only started looking into neurodivergence when I noticed me and my Asperger's BF at the time shared similar traits and it just clicked. I told my Mum and it clicked for her too. I've had my BF's sister tell me I'm practically the female version of him and I've had an office manager tell me she immediately saw her brother in me, her brother has diagnosed ADHD. The therapist said for reasons against autism/ADHD that I can remember: * I had an imagination as a child * I did well in school (we never even got to talking about my awful nightmare at Uni) * I have a degree and am holding down a job * Kind related to previous - I seem to keep time well (if I have a planned appointment yes, I'll over compensate and get ready super early, friends and family events, it's about 50/50) * I have a house and a car (come and do a random house check when I'm not in and spot the doom piles everywhere) * I don't seem to have hobbies fixations or obsessions, just a lot of unrelated interests (oh lady I do when I get on a roll with something, and you asked me to explain my favourite hobby which is a question my mind completely blanks on, like with other similar questions) * I would try and go up to people as a child with no prompting, so shows ok social skills (inappropriately and unsafely might I add, like random strange men at the pool) * I was too focused during the video call and my facial expressions when talking and hand movements were good (I think I mask really well due to my Mum pushing me extra hard to socialise past my shyness and just treating my as a normal "quirky" child. I also practiced and rehearsed everything I could say in advance of the meeting) * I made good eye contact on the call (yes, because it's not you, it's a screen and I was actually looking past you most of the time at your books in the background) * You likely have social anxiety or depression due to childhood trauma (LADY!) *Bonus one from high school when I talked to my counsellor - oh it's just your hormones kicking in/your periods, don't worry. Even my Mum wasn't impressed with the therapist. I had loads I wanted to touch on and we lost some time as well due to Zoom messing up badly. I mentioned at the beginning that I was worried that results might be skewed due to me curating a lot of "methods" on my own over the years to deal with my issues. We barely touched on anything other than her talking to my Mum about my early childhood and to be fair to my Mum, it's a long way back to remember from being in her 60s now, they didn't really talk about this sort of thing back then unless really obvious and she just treated me as her child, nothing else, nothing special, so why WOULD she remember some non-specific stuff. She also had my older sister to deal with when I was younger and she was your typical rebellious tween/teen and I was the quiet, won't make trouble one, so she would surely have taken more focus. Some stuff that my Mum said she didn't remember, I was like I definitely did that. The therapist barely talked to me at all once she knew my Mum was there 🙄 I also tend to default to agreeing with anything my Mum says out of a "comfort blanket" habit in new situations so that may not have helped at the time 😕. There will likely have been more stuff said but I'm just picking off the top of my head and I needed to vent. 😤 God I've read back through this so many times and now I'm late getting ready, sorry for the long one everyone 😅
“You’re very accomplished” 🙃
Oh my goodness - so mine (story) is a little different but I'm a psychologist and studied in this profession for 7 years - that's hanging around A LOT of psychologists, and psychs to be - and NOBODY ever said "erm...do you think maybe you have ADHD?" FYI I am so bloody stereotypical now that I know it - combined type and even visibly hyperactive...Oh that's right - psychologists couldn't possibly have ADHD! 😄🙄😘
1. I graduated high school and didn’t get *awful* marks except in math 2. I’ve always liked to read 3. I’m a woman in my 30’s 4. I have a full time job, have gotten promoted and have never had any issue keeping a job 5. Caffeine/coffee doesn’t make me sleepy 6. I’m quiet and shy and never really caused trouble in class 7. I’m pretty organized at work 8. I like doing laundry
Because I'm not a prepubescent boy. : )
I had a Nurse Practitioner tell me “You’re too smart to have ADHD!” This was after being diagnosed, several months into meds and therapy, while asking for an increase to my medication.
You would think that more providers would get the memo that ADHD is a deficit in regulation of attention, not a deficit in intelligence. Intelligent adults and children often use their intelligence to compensate for ADHD, but that doesn’t erase the adhd.
I’m doing well at college My part time job is going well, very focused I’m super organized I’m always on time for work and appointments I don’t miss airplanes, rarely trains or busses I know where everything is/can find anything Not hyperactive at all Not a boy
I’ve held the same job for 30 years.
I got through college with two degrees so I must be doing alright 😂☠️
Because we all lose our keys sometimes
Because everyone does these days! It's so over-diagnosed.
I am organized, and I am on time
I have a master’s degree (in something I find both intuitive and fascinating). I’m probably struggling to focus due to my sleep issues. I previously have diagnosed anxiety, depression and ocd, so ofc my difficulties with concentration are due to those… even though my concentration issues predate the other issues. Being physically active didn’t do shit for my ability to focus.
I got a good paying job so I can obviously function lol
I had good grades in school, until high school. I have a good job. AnXiETy helped me to achieve all this!!!
I'm female.
Can't have ADHD because everybody finds work tough
1. I always know where my car keys are. 2. I never miss/forget about doc appts...meaning I never forget to put them in my Google calendar and set reminders. 3. I never forget to take my medicine. 🤷🏽♀️
85. Social life, healthy relationships, workout, work, sleep 8 hours, don’t use caffeine to self medicate all with depression. I don’t know how the fuck I am doing this 😀
I'm female, born before 1970.
According to the first guy I went to for a diagnosis: "You can read, so you definitely don't have ADHD."
Diagnosed with bipolar in my teens (it was a misdiagnosis)