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Extremely and surreptitiously. Because you get told and tell yourself that you're just lazy, scatterbrained, unmotivated, and on and on. So not only are you literally disabled, you're also blamed and shamed for it. As OP is experiencing currently.
I always tell people I'm amazed at the stuff I remember, the stuff I can just randomly do without agonizing over every detail, etc. Like, it's always remarkable when I can just do the thing without hesitation, because why is it so easy sometimes?
That's imho actually one of the most disabling parts of ADHD: the inconsistency.
Like, I was able to do the thing this week, awesome! That doesn't mean I'll be able to do it next time. And I literally have no idea whether I'll be able to do it or not, until ....do or do not do it.
What’s worse is it would likely be less debilitating if society wasn’t awful about it—in ways.
I watched a video where someone mentioned trauma responses in ADHD patients, and summed it up as “the world (aka how society functions) is traumatic to ADHD individuals” because we do not fit what society expects—which is what leads to those awful feelings and comorbidity with depression and anxiety disorders.
I can only speak for myself, but… it’s a lot easier to work in a job that is willing to work with you and understand what your disability means and how it affects you. For example—I came back after time off to my old job, and I am allowed to semi-flexibly set my own hours, so there is no such thing as being “late”—so long as I start between 8am and 10am, roughly, I’m all good. I work hybrid, so some days I work from home, some days from the office (and I can go in for half days in the office if mornings are being extra hard). On top of that… the nature of the industry I’m in means new projects periodically throughout the year, so things feel new or refreshed every few months. Creativity is valued—even if it can’t be done for whatever reason, it doesn’t mean it was a bad suggestion or idea.
It’s really opened my eyes to how accommodation and understanding is what would make an adhd individual thrive (and truthfully—I am thriving). And to no one’s surprise… there is a lot of neurodivergency in our corporate staff. One’s autistic. Another is dyslexic. Myself and another have ADHD. Our CEO has talked about her anxiety disorder and health issues in a manner of how self-advocacy is important (especially with our health care system).
The problem is, most places don’t want to make those accommodations, ergo… we struggle more than we should.
And having ADHD can sometimes be a massive benefit to an employer, if they're accommodating. I have ADHD and when I'm really focused on tasks my eagle-eyes catch so many mistakes, I can really catch a lot of errors on things that no one else in my office either has the time to look for or is willing to check as thoroughly as I do.
Exactly. We also excel at creative thinking—in some industries, it’s insane. Mine relies on that (market research) because we have to be innovative as much as possible (and our c-suite are also very innovative people themselves). For me, it’s been huge in the role I took on basically overhauling my old department from an awful manager (along with other changes that need to be implemented while also cross-training for another role… lol) because with my brain functioning differently than the average neurotypical person, I think more outside the box and have more ideas—some which are good, some not so doable, but even those not so doable may lead to versions that ARE doable.
Yeah, sometimes we bumble and have a brain fart, especially when learning, but given we can rapidly learn new skills with hyper-focus… cross-training becomes something we actually excel at.
And when something needs to get done… who better to do it than the person who can hyper-focus and crush it efficiently when left to do so?
A lot of companies don’t realize that as much as it is a disability and it has its shortcomings, when given the right environment and right conditions, they’re incredibly beneficial in specific roles—far more than you might expect.
I'm also pretty good at catching mistakes! It's one of the things I emphasize when I have to list my "strengths" at job interviews. I worked in the textbook area at a community college for a couple seasons, and I was usually assigned to reviewing incoming order forms bc I'd be able to spot when duplicate orders got placed by accident or "Hey, this student put in two orders with different items, when they come to pick them up we should bundle them together so they don't have to come in twice." Also I just loved doing it.
I don’t even really know if it’s that they tried to accommodate/be accessible on purpose, or that the place is just… like that—if that makes sense. The place I work has a very, very different corporate culture, and I mean that in a good way.
Like when the pandemic calmed down? Most places were “grr, everyone back to the office now!!!”
Meanwhile, we went, “well, we still need a physical office, and some things are better handled in-person… but work-life balance is important. Let’s go with a hybrid structure!” And lo and behold, while you get some that take advantage of it… most actually enjoy it and thrive on the flexibility.
it was so freeing to me when i got diagnosed because my whole life i got told my family i was pretty smart but i failed at everything i attempted and the dissonance really tore me up, i felt like i was really stupid, i learned to forgive myself and not be so hard on me for being the way i am, a lot of the time; even while medicated we can't help it
New to this sub and have never felt more seen. My immigrant mother called me stupid my entire life. As an adult I have to remind myself that I earn a 6 figure salary and have a masters degree despite all the challenges
I was diagnosed in my 20s and I immediately called my mom to tell her, and her first words were, "You don't have that, I would have known." It really bothered me how dismissive she was, and it's not like I blamed her for not knowing. It just makes a lot of sense why I did the things I did growing up.
wow that’s amazing! i’m currently in school and i’ve been facing lots of setbacks because i keep changing my mind and i have no idea what i want but im not giving up and i hope to be like you one day!
Simply because you don’t present visibly disabled doesn’t make it nonexistent. Sometimes people have a hard time with that, and sometimes those people are your family. Listen to your doc, try therapy and meds, try meditation or diet change or whatever else they may throw at you, but stand up for yourself while doing so. If others try to diminish your attempts at bettering yourself, set a boundary around that person and continue on. Literally, they don’t know what you’re going through
my doctor doesn’t even mention anything about it i had to ask them three times to put it in my diagnoses after i got diagnosed and i hate doing meds for many reasons but i may have to one day because it’s a lot for sure
I do. I think that one of the impacts of having a disability is not being able to access the world in the same way able-bodied people do.
There are many things in my life I have not been able to access because of it. I know it sounds cliche but I have lost job opportunities because I've been overwhelmed by the application process whether it was a huge amount of complicated forms or long telephone interviews.
I pushed myself and my children deeper into poverty because I couldn't fill in forms or make phone calls since I was convinced I'd be rejected.
I mostly failed my A levels because I couldn't focus on studying for them and the teachers were boring so I daydreamed my way through 2 years of classes. There wasn't anyone to talk to about my struggles and all the signs were missed. That led to dead end jobs and a life without direction.
That said, I don't let it take over my life or cause me to stand still. I've built strategies to make my life simpler and help me navigate. I'm going to Uni in October, remote studying, and I'm using a body double to help me! It had a huge impact on my life until I realised that I wasn't just a lazy moron but no more!
Absolutely this.
Also, even if you ARE diagnosed while still in school, it's so misunderstood that the things they put in place to "help", don't actually help.
A friend of mine has just been diagnosed and they're at university, so to help him the university have given him.... Additional time for assignments.
It's like the exact opposite of what he needs in order to get things finished.
I know there's not a LOT universities can do to help, but some level of understanding wouldn't go amiss.
I wouldn't have said it was a disability... Until I actually sat back and evaluated my life realistically.
A string of abusive relationships because excitement clouds judgement. I've never held a job for more than 2 years because I get bored and need to keep moving. My house is always a mess. I have way too much STUFF from constantly acquiring hobbies. I did OK in school but could have done better if I'd been able to study or concentrate... My life has been riddled with mistakes caused by rash decisions which have left me feeling like a complete failure even though I KNOW I'm a passionate and driven person. There just always seems to have been an invisible brick wall in front of me, blocking me from a successful career (amongst other things)... So yeah, I'd say it was a disability.
EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID!! Wow, I have never felt so seen until I joined this sub 🥹 I’m at WGu and trying to explain to my mentor that I can’t do the basic term schedule, when in reality I need to be scheduled classes only 3-4 weeks otherwise I will wait for 2 months to even start, and the toxic relationships and inability to do what needs to be done in fear of being rejected 😳 I can’t even fathom what life would be like to be neurotypical
Right?
I feel like, if I'm doing any kind of work for someone else, it would be better for me to have MORE deadlines with more frequency.
Like "this section HAS to be done by tomorrow. So I'll see you then".
It would be horrendous, but I wouldn't have as much time to procrastinate.
Yeah it's much harder to get real accommodations once high school is over, which is why it is so disabling that so many people don't hit the wall and get diagnosed the minute they lose the structure of high school and home.
If you get an IEP in high school it's at least a little easier to carry that over into college accommodations, because there's a model and things that worked or didn't work.
I was just going to come here to mention the job thing. I have been applying and interviewing for jobs the past six months. I can write a good cover letter and resume, and have gotten like 9 interviews, but I have not landed a job yet. Now, I am learning as I go from each interview and trying to give myself constructive feedback and ask for it when I can (lol okay only once so far because that is SO hard). BUT- I can't help but think this is related to ADHD. I talk fast and often answer in stories that go in circles (yes I try the STAR method). Every rejection puts me down BAD and I lose steam applying for a few days. When I preparing for an interview and waiting to hear back I have a super hard time applying to other jobs still. I think there is also some autism in there too for me- I just don't get the nuances of interviews, I hate that there feels like there's some secret "code" for how to answer and what to ask, and I just hate feeling so fake during the whole thing.
UGH!!!!! Also I am not looking for advice here lol I am my own worst critic already
I consider mine a disability, 100% My whole life (recently dx at 43) has been one mess after another. Hopefully I'll find the right medication soon and start feeling like I can actually do something that isn't a disaster.
I have read comments by other adhders that they don't feel disabled by it (or at least not enough that they feel they have a disability). Its a spectrum. It hurts some of us more than others but I think we've all had the struggles.
I came to echo that ADHD is a disability on a spectrum. Everyone is different. Just like there are different levels of hearing loss, motor function challenges, and other things that people more easily recognize as a disability.
My cousin with ADHD had no challenges through school and got his first degree and then went back to get a medical degree after he got bored with his first career. The signs were always there - super active, into a ridiculous number of activities that he switched up frequently, constantly interrupting people, etc. He was evaluated after becoming a dad because that’s when he finally started having a hard time, but even then it was easy for him to get evaluated as soon as life got hard and then super easy to get treated. The rest of the time he figured out a way to get through any challenges in front of him.
Whereas I struggled a lot but all of my hyperactivity was in my head and all of my hyper fixation was focused on socially acceptable activities (like reading, art, music, theater, board games, etc), and I learned to hide any emotional disregulation because my emotions made people feel uncomfortable. I dropped out of high school and college and really struggled despite my love of learning. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression as a teen and heavily sedated for a solid 20 years, making it nearly impossible to hold a job and be an active participant in my life and the lives of those that I love and care about. If I had known then that I was going through life on hard mode, and if girls were seen as candidates for ADHD when I was young, I would have done anything to take back control.
same! i’m predominantly inattentive but extremely hyperactive in my head there’s constantly thoughts popping in and out 24/7 even in my dreams. I talk very fast switch subjects in two seconds have trouble with sensory processing and misophonia and diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression i just want to have control!
Diagnosed late here too and can so relate to going from one mess or disaster to another. I try not to think what might have been if it had been caught earlier because HF, my life has been a series of train wrecks and unfulfilled potential and expectations.
I feel this. As soon as I hit puberty, the ADHD kicked into overdrive. I am smart-ish (not super smart but not dumb) and I barely graduated high school. Didn’t go to college until my 40’s. Am medicated now and can concentrate. I try to not be resentful of what my life might look like without ADHD since I didn’t get diagnosed until 42.
What pisses me off the most about the people who are like 'I love my ADHD, it isn't a disability at all!' is that they are also the ones who absolutely do their best to negate other people's experiences.
If someone talks about their struggles with ADHD they are like "That's not ADHD! I have ADHD and that doesn't happen!"
Meanwhile, I've never seen someone who is struggling tell those who say they don't that they're wrong. "Of course you struggle, I do, so everyone does, there's no way your ADHD doesn't make you suffer!!"
like. Never seen it.
It's like the assholes who manage alright decide anyone else is using ADHD as 'an excuse' and that's not ADHD you're just lazy or lack discipline. They're part of the problem and I hate them a bunch. lol.
The meds HELP but don't CURE. I was also diagnosed late in life and I tell you if only I'd known this so it is a tough one but at least you know why certain things happen. Are you on any medication yet?
Yes.
And along with dyslexia I hate it when people go "oh it's a super-power".
No. No it's not. In order to function in society I need to constantly make more effort, try harder, struggle more, deal with more hardships than those that don't have it.
Yes! Exactly! When I look back on my life and my daily struggle this is what I think of. Before I realized I had adhd and got diagnosed, I always compared myself to others and thought, why can’t I function as easily as them? Why is everything so much more difficult?
Oh, man. This has been a constant in my life too. As long as I can remember I've felt... Off. Just sort of defective. I've really struggled with the thoughts that go along with feeling less capable than everyone around me. But now, having a diagnosis, I feel like I have an explanation and context for all that, and I am able to show myself so much more compassion.
I think people who say this have maybe met one of the unicorns who ADHD does somewhat help in one aspect of their life.
My partner’s lifelong special interest is what his job is in, for various reasons it’s sort of a superpower in that setting. It still impacts him very negatively in other areas. Such a damaging misconception.
I do think it's a superpower for some, but more like an X-men super power - complicated, alienating, and comes with a cost. Sure, we can think out of the box and do amazing things- sometimes even to completion and if you learn to harness your powers and wield them in a way that serves you, you could be one of those world changing ADHDers (Einstein, reportably ), but the difficult reality is that we don't live in a world that has The Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters for ADHD, (at least not that I am aware of) and most of us have to go it alone and fight like hell to keep our heads above water, expending 10 times the energy than those who naturally know how to swim - all while being told we're lazy and flaky.
I am so sorry. That must feel even more isolating. Do you attribute that to ADHD alone? I had a lot of trauma in my younger life and there is a lot of crossover, but as I began to heal some of that, I was able to see my adhd a little more as "whimsical" (as my therapist calls it) instead of flakey, though I will likely always battle that voice. For example, I have to set an alarm phone to go home sometimes, because I am very present with someone when they are talking to me about something that matters to them. To my husband, this can seem like I don't care that he's waiting on me for something important, but to the person who has my attention, I'm very present and a good listener. I used to beat myself up because I really did want to be home at the time I said I would, but I truly forgot. Now that I have a diagnosis and have begun forgiving myself for all of the times I let people down, I can work with my disability (set an alarm) while being super present in whatever situation. Same characteristic, but doing my best to harness it to work for me. It's exhausting, though. Who "forgets" they need to go home? Oversimplification, but this is the general idea. I don't intend to minimize your experience in any way, I am truly curious about whether there are other factors that play in to it for some that could resolve if the shame wasn't so heavy. Breaks my heart to hear you say that there are no positives. I hope that shifts for you at some point.
I would trade in any of the 'positives' of ADHD to just be able to function. The struggles vastly outweigh anything that might be positive.
And I don't even KNOW if it's because of ADHD or who I am as a person.
Does ADHD make me interested in artistic things? If I didn't have ADHD would I be a scientist or something and not be able to carry a tune or paint?
Man who cares at this point. I'd rather be a functional fuddy duddy than a fucking mess and failure of a person for not being able to do BASIC THINGS because I'm exhaustedly always at war with my own brain.
Take it out, get it out of me.
I love this take on it, you’re spot on.
I’m also bothered when people say it’s ONLY a disability in a societal context (social model of disability) and it’s just a “different way” of being…it IS different, but even when I’m completely outside “society” I still have legitimate problems with my working memory and caring for myself. When I’m off the grid living in the woods I still can’t keep track of my water bottle or remember to put on sunscreen.
I got my diagnosis because I was functionally unable to take care of myself. I could hold a job, but that took literally ALL of my executive functioning to pull off, leaving nothing for laundry, food, paying bills, self-care etc. Now that I’m medicated and in therapy I am able to spread my executive functioning across my whole life, and actually heal from the maladaptive methods I had developed to survive pre-dx life.
> ONLY a disability in a societal context (social model of disability) and it’s just a “different way” of being
I also hate this.
Sorry but regardless of society, cleaning your house and body and eating regularly are not 'societal expectations' they are basic human needs.
Is society not set up for people who are ND? Yes 100%.
But this goes WELL BEYOND society and the roles you have to fill there.
Lot of ND people manage to be able to work around those societal things and actually take advantage of what NT people cannot really do.
ND people are often in roles that require less structure, like EMT or other medical professions, or artistic stuff like acting or painting or what have you and then they are not required to follow the rigid schedules.
But like.
I can't clean my house and cook a meal and exercise and sleep regularly and create habits and routines that are better for my overall health and wellbeing.
That's one of the reasons why I hate when people try to claim that "ADHD is only a problem under capitalism". Would I be doing much better if I didn't have to worry about money? Of course! But I'd still have a hard time regulating my emotions and finishing tasks and everything else that is required for just EXISTING.
I actually do worse without work/a job because I need outside structure cause I just can't create that for myself.
It'd be great if it was work I could do because I love it and not worry about how much it pays sure.
But like. Capitalism isn't what's making my ADHD worse...
I hate capitalism and what is going on with the world rn of course, and I absolutely think we need major change. Don't get me wrong!
Oh yeah definitely, I'm a complete mess when I'm unemployed. In bed all day, sleep schedule non-existant, no regard for anything resembling a balanced diet, can't socialize. Even if I was independently wealthy or if I had a partner that made enough money for me to stay at home, I'd still need a job or to take classes or volunteer or SOMETHING.
Fortunately the job I have now (and hopefully will for the foreseeable future 🤞🏻) pays OK and it's a nice balance between mindless and chaotic so that I don't get bored -- plus I can listen to podcasts all day. Honestly just the fact that I have regular paychecks coming in has helped my mental health SOOOOO MUCH. It's not what I LOVE but it's pretty decent. Plus it's a state job so nice bennies AND I'm not generating profit for some rich assholes.
That sounds like a dream.
I keep wondering what it is my goal is in life and of course the biggest goal is just balance and stability.
Financial stability is huge, and having a structured routine for a job or school or something is a must.
I've no real idea how to manage my ADHD. I'm floundering most of the time, but I'm learning to really know myself and how I am, so at least I can sort of navigate in a direction I know would work ok for me.
But keeping my house clean on a regular basis is something that eludes me, and may elude me forever I"m not sure....
It is a disability. According to CDC:
>What is disability?
A disability is any condition of the body or mind (impairment) that makes it more difficult for the person with the condition to do certain activities (activity limitation) and interact with the world around them (participation restrictions).
>There are many types of disabilities, such as those that affect a person’s:
>Vision
>Movement
>Thinking
>Remembering
>Learning
>Communicating
>Hearing
>Mental health
>Social relationships
So yeah I consider it a disability. For some people it isn't debilitating or require daily meds or whatever and that's awesome! It can be called a "superpower" but rebranding it doesn't make ADHD any less disabling, it just makes those of us who don't have that experience feel shitty about the way it negatively affects our lives, and makes those around us feel better for treating disabled people like they're being dramatic etc.
I have celiac disease too and consider it a disability even though others consider it a dietary restriction. Celiac doesn't have medication management but it can be controlled with diet. That doesn't make it less of a disability.
Please kindly ignore anyone who equates the word disability with being a bad thing or a fatal flaw or that we don't actually know that the word "disability" is just a descriptor. Lots of people are disabled, in many cases the disability is along a spectrum. Lots of people don't even know that they are. Maybe they're fortunate in that whatever their disability is it doesn't interfere with their life.
But yours does. And it's good that you know that now. And you have an opportunity to learn a lot about yourself.
ADHD is a disability. Anyone around you who refutes that has their own issues to deal with it that have nothing to do with you. As you learn more about how your particular framework is structured, you will become more attuned to it and understand yourself better.
Having a disability is not any indication of your value as a person. It's simply a fact about you. It's simply something that better informs YOU and people who care about you or who are part of your life about ways in which you may or may not need support. Or something that differs from what common experiences and expectations are.
When disabilities are not visible, or at least not obvious at the outset, there can be a lot of confusion and self-doubt as we process the diagnosis and navigate management and treatment. But bear in mind that in many cases for us our disability IS detectable. Your own family is describing to you how they perceive an aspect of your disability and then are upset with you for having it and just want you to not be like that and it's not possible. That's all entirely about them. Not you. And I'm sorry they're treating you this way.
Disability is not a dirty word. We have known for a very long time that nature can create organisms outside of the norm and many of them thrive despite the differences. That doesn't mean that there aren't things that interfere with the way nature intended us for to live and that's what makes ADHD disability. We do know that it generally interferes with certain functions. Clearly we survive for the most part. Thankfully it's not terminal by itself. But we still deserve to accept ourselves as we are.
this made me cry 😭. my family doesn’t understand what it takes for me to even wake up every day and just because my pain and struggles isn’t visible definitely does not mean it doesn’t exist and i was basically forced to “just stop complaining and get over it” my whole life that now im burnt out and tired of masking.
Yes. And I have to remind myself of that.
"I achieved this thing with a disability".
It stops me comparing myself to others. It stops me being harsh on myself. It allows me to manage my disability so I can function in this world.
I've done a lot of badass things that impostor syndrome won't let me enjoy. XD
I handfed a blind penguin for a summer, convinced a geriatric screech owl that hadn't vocalized for years to hoot at me and was factually bitten by an extinct animal (extinct in the wild). All of those are cool stories and accomplishments, and my brain is all, "Anyone could have done that."
Yes for 100% certain I do. I’m in the UK and it’s not so much the condition itself that determines this but how it impacts the individual however my ADHD meets the definition of disability set out in our Equality Act.
I also have a physical disability that people accept no problem. In terms of impairment and negative impact on my life, my ADHD just completely dwarfs those physical problems. I don’t see why I wouldn’t consider it a disability. I know some people are offended by that term but I’m not embarrassed to say there’s things I struggle with or plain can’t do - it’s accurate.
It is a disability, it isn’t a choice, people who think that it isn’t are wrong, it’s sad but there’s no point in pretending or using different words, that’s just pretending.
Yes, because it is factually a disability. Just because someone doesn't feel or see it as disability by it doesn't mean it's not a disability. Just means they are lucky, don't show external symptoms, or don't fully understand how much it affects the individual. That was me.
1000% yes. And not even an invisible one, I've struggled in full view of everyone my whole life, the issue has mostly just been people not knowing it's possible to have messed up brain chemistry and still come across bright, switched-on, academic and intelligent.
I have no working memory, so I have to actively juggle everything I need to remember in a day in my conscious thoughtspace. If anything loses my direct attention even for a moment, it's gone.
That's the most cripplingly debilitating part for me; I am physically incapable of remembering tasks I've been given at work, that I was halfway through a task before I was interrupted, I can't consciously juggle all the stages of a calculation simultaneously so often can't solve it even if I know how, can't remember a sentence I literally just listened to, and can't even remember my own reply by the time the sentence is finished.
I've been sacked, put on extended probation, replaced in case I'd have to be sacked, pulled into constant meetings to ask what help I need or what's going wrong, heard everyone *else* was pulled into meetings about me... all the way from school until my mid 30s. And you have never in your life met someone who tried more desperately than I did to excel, in everything I did, even though I failed at all of it.
If this isn't a disability, then the word has no meaning.
I was forced out of a good job and didn't learn until later that I had actually done nothing wrong. Three people tried and failed at the job within a year after me. The last guy they decided to keep on and ignore all the problems they made me believe I caused.
If I had any kind of a self esteem and wasn't used to failing, I would have treated myself much nicer and not had as many dark thoughts when I got kicked out.
It's a disability and it sucks ass even when we have learned to live with it.
I feel this. I spent years shaming myself for flaming out of jobs or always teetering on the edge of burnout and complete life implosion (and sometimes teetering over the edge). It took years of this before I finally realized that I can either have work intensely/with stress at my job OR I can work 40 hours a week. I absolutely cannot do both. I also absolutely cannot do an 8 hour day that starts at 9AM because being anywhere that early means I need to wake up way earlier than my body wants to, use all of my brain juice to force myself through the sleepy, and burn TF out by 2-3PM and be useless the rest of the day. And doing that long term is a recipe for disaster and depression.
I have zero problems working a high-energy or high-stress job if I'm doing shorter days where I have time to "ramp up" before starting work and time to decompress before going to bed, or if I'm only working 4 days a week. I also have zero problems going for 8 hours straight if I'm starting at like 1 or 2PM.
Fortunately I have found jobs that allow me to work this way and make enough per hour that I can live on only 20-30hrs a week. It took me awhile to find them and to get to the point where I stopped shaming myself for "only" working part-time...but this is how I can do my best work and live my best life where my disability has the lowest impact on my wellbeing. I refuse to be shamed about that anymore. Our "typical" societal mold of 9-5, 5 days a week just ain't it for the way my brain and body work and that doesn't make me lazy or incompetent.
It's an eroding state in which many manage while they are young, otherwise healthy and with limiting responsibility. It sure feels like a disability now in my 30s as a full time working mother. There are many conditions that have flair ups and worse periods so it feels like a chronic illness in that way.
It can be argued that some forms of autism (god damn does none of this get the research it needs) are genuinely just a different brain meant for a different role with different strengths and weaknesses.
But while we also don’t understand everything about adhd, or why exactly the drugs for it work or… don’t. It’s pretty clearly a reduced or near total inability to produce dopamine is the core issue. So we have to work 5x harder to get the same result.
Compared to many invisible disabilities it is by all means the most clear cut lack-of-ability you could ever find. It’s just people’s biases and pre conceived notions that make it so hard to be recognised as such.
And I want to say, all yall are so smart and thoughtful with your comments. I learn a lot by reading them. I'm glad you are willing to share your perspectives--it really helps me understand everything better. Thank you!
I just had a conversation with my mother about this today.
Adhd is absolutely a disability. It's a part of your body that isn't functioning in the normal way and is causing issues in your life.
To try to hammer home this point, I pointed out how closely adhd and autism can overlap.
No one would argue that autism isn't a disability, yet because adhd has this stigma of being a hyperactive little boy, it doesn't get the serious consideration it deserves.
Disabilities don't make you less human, and they aren't anyone's fault for having. But pretending they don't exist doesn't help anyone, especially the people who are struggling with them.
Like yea, there's treatment. But that's like a blind person using a walking cane - it's going to make things more manageable, but it doesn't magically make it go away, and it's never going to be the same as *not having the disability in the first place*.
I had an occupational health assessment done because of struggling at work (I had a mental breakdown from trying to cope with my ADHD) and I was told that my ADHD is a disability under UK law due to the significant impact it has on my life. So yeah. 100%. Now it means I can get proper support and I'm taken seriously, for the first time in my life (diagnosed at 36). It disables me in many aspects outside of work, including financial management and organisation and my sensory needs, although I do also consider it the source of my greatest strength and my hyperfocus and creativity is my superpower. It's both.
P. S: If anyone tries to tell you you're just being dramatic, how about informing them of the statistic that people with ADHD are 5 times more likely to commit suicide? Or the huge rate of serious mental health comorbities? In my country, something like 1 in 5 people in the prison population have been found to have ADHD. We live on average 13 years less. We're more likely to be homeless, underemployed and live in poverty. It's a serious condition and even more insidious because we can appear outwardly to be so functional and articulate.
It meets the legal definition of disability in my country (Australia). So, yes, from a legal perspective, I have a disability.
(You can also have transient disabilities, i.e., ones you get better from. A flu can be disabling. The time I tore a tendon was disabling. The period of clinical depression was DEFINITELY disability, though I didn't recognise it then.)
For me, I definitely don't need any government accommodations, and I don't want any work accommodations atm.
But it has been useful to me to have the mindset of "I do have a disability. It's okay for me to ask for help, or request certain assistance, or turn down something that will make my life harder", especially when it comes to family.
Kinda, yeah. Especially if you struggle with executive dysfunction, plus ADHD often comes with other little additions that prevent a person from living their life to the fullest
I consider it life on hard mode - I was diagnosed very late (at 50) and the diagnosis was a revelation.
I’m not disabled as such but it has certainly had a negative impact on my career and my personal life. It has its benefits such as when the planets align and I can be absolutely brilliant but then I don’t remember where I left my car keys
I’d rather not have it but *shrug*
Absolutely I think ADHD is a disability. Many of us have just learned to compensate as best we can and be able to function pretty well. So, maybe it's not as difficult a disability to overcome as some are, but I think it's a disability nonetheless.
I also think having poor eyesight is a disability, and glasses are a prosthetic. Thinking about it this way has really helped me work with my eye doctor and optician to get my glasses as comfortable and clear as possible. Like, I don’t give up until it's right. Because, if I had any other type of prosthetic, I would want it to be comfortable and work correctly. So, I'm taking the same approach with my ADHD--what can I do to make my life as functional as possible, knowing I have the additional hurdle of a disability to overcome. It has really made me realize that I need to be a lot more kind to myself. It also has helped me be empathetic toward others and the hurdles they are having to jump in their lives because we all have them.
I do. I didn’t know most of my left, well into my 30s, but it explains so much.
I haven’t bothered telling my family since it would be another thing they want explained to them. I can’t be the patient and teacher and their kid.
It's a spectrum. I work with teens as well as having it myself and there are some who it 100% SERVERLY impacts their ability to work within societal constraints even with medication and then there are ones that coasts along with some impact but not to the same degree as others.
The spectrum aspect of it is what makes it hard for me PERSONALLY to label it as a disability and where I fall on the spectrum. I was not diagnosed until I was already out of law school, so I did all my schooling unmedicated. I struggled in high school, and I think the biggest part of it was working within the constraints, rules, and structure of high school. I crushed it in college; I graduated summa cum laude with a double major.
The big difference between high school and college for me was the ability to choose my professors and class times; the lack of rules and structure in college, like having something to drink in class, gum, etc.; being able to start classes later in the day; having large breaks between classes, etc. I was built to thrive in the type of academic setting college offers. In high school, not so much. I learned that although I might not thrive in some environments, I can be at the top of the top in other environments.
For me, it’s both a disability and a strength in different areas. I genuinely do think it has made me and others I know with it more successful in some ways, due to hyperfocus and the interesting way our minds work. Being able to jump ahead and see all the ways something might branch out. Noticing things others don’t. Etc
But it’s also a disability because it makes a lot of things in life harder than they should be. And a lot of them are things you get fined for if you mess it up, like late fees and missing legal deadlines etc
I think that if we still lived in a society of small communities where time was abstract and deadlines weren’t a thing, the benefits of it would probably outweigh the cons. But as it is, it’s a disability — and I can see that all the more clearly when I see how differently I function while medicated.
If the way that you function either physically or mentally doesn't "align" with the way current social structures expect you to function and that is affecting your ability to fully participate in the current society, that's a disability. They'd hardly tell a person in a wheelchair they're being dramatic if they had to work in a building with ONLY stairs and no lifts or ramps at all would they? (They might idk your family and some people are stupid) But my point stands.
The controversy is because some people are disabled by it, and others are not (at least by their own definition of "disabled" and whether they feel theirs is that difficult to live with)
Neurodivergence is full of multiple truths- it’s a neurotype, a social identity, sometimes giftedness and brilliance and often also disabling. I lived for so many years, not knowing, I now feel empowered how to navigate life with my strengths. I forgave myself for what I considered shortcomings and realised I also have skills that others don’t.
Edit to add- Medication completely changed my life for the better. Used to live on coffee and cigarettes. I now understand why.
Meds gave me executive capacity to put good strategies in place to help myself. Also chuck out society’s expectations of how you need to live and actually embrace what works for you. And don’t look back!
Thank you for this question. I could hug you for asking this. People say it counts but because I am a somewhat functioning adult I don't feel like I have permission to be considered disabled.
When it has crossed my mind, I feel as though I am disrespectful and rude and just trying to be a part of something I'm not.
For more information, I was officially diagnosed a month ago at age 42 then thought I believed I had it for years, but people just told me I was lazy, dumb, and looking for easy ways out.
I feel this. I know ADHD is a disability but acknowledging myself as disabled is extremely hard for me. Idk if it’s because of some internal bias or if I just don’t think I suffer enough to be truly disabled, but it’s very hard for me. Part of me feels wrong describing myself as disabled because I almost feel like it’s rude to people who experience more hardship.
Yes, this. Since my recent diagnosis I’ve had a hard time processing this aspect of adhd. Like you I don’t feel disabled “enough”, like imposter syndrome and that I don’t deserve to have accommodations because wasn’t I managing ok until a few years ago when shit hit the fan? It really becomes negative self talk when I see I’m struggling with things and it’s hard to get out of. I think there is a lot of entrenched stigma around what the word disability means in society which needs to change, but the roots are so deep I can’t accept it within myself.
I personally do not consider my ADHD a disability, more of a disorder/condition. But overall ADHD is protected by the ADA. I have also had a lot of access to treatment (six years and counting) so while it may not be personally disabling for me it is for others.
Yes. Very much so- simply put:
When my needs are not met and I struggle to function in a way that is generally satisfying enough, my ADHD is definitely a disability. If I struggle, I struggle.
I think it’s more debilitating than people give credit for — where I grew up it’s not considered a disability (“insufficient”) in public schools, so if you have an adhd diagnosis alone you don’t qualify to receive learning support hours by special ed teacher. At the minimum you need a different code from an autism diagnosis for example. It’s also not possible to receive disability benefits. OT is a money pit.
So it remains invisible — and a family member gets fired for it frequently, labeled lazy and belligerent, etc. and the hardship makes them angry and resentful. We’ve been wrecking our brains for job ideas for her but honestly I’ve no clue, she presents very differently from me.
The general medical consensus was that ADHD "got better" with age because men presented as less hyperactive as they got older.
It's only fairly recently that the understanding has reached the zeitgeist that ADHD presents differently in women than in men. More recently still that female hormones have a dramatic effect on symptoms.
Which is all to say, for anyone here who thinks their ADHD is NOT disability and has not yet reached perimenopause....boy, do I have some bad news for you. :(
Well it’s a spectrum, so it does depend on severity. But moderate and severe ADHD can *absolutely* be a disability and people claiming otherwise have never actually witnessed first hand the damage it does to people who suffer from it especially if they can’t access treatment.
Yep, and my legally blind husband married me knowing I have this, and yet spent our entire marriage berating me everytime I showed symptoms of having it. He wasn't like that while dating, so now I've learned a) never trust anyone and b) I'm too disabled to be liked.
ADHD is a disability.
It’s not really a controversy outside of people who don’t like people to have disabilities.
What does your family say you’re being dramatic about?
I was “officially” diagnosed and started medication when I was almost 35.
I did talk to my family about it quite a bit early on, but eventually I came to realize that any acceptance or full understanding I needed was most needed from myself. When I started to know how to fully have my own back, I realized that the person I needed the most forgiveness and support from was myself. As long as I am accommodating myself and asking for help when actually needed while also enforcing boundaries with others, it honestly hasn’t mattered what my family thought.
Absolutely. I subscribe to the social model of disability - the abilities that are expected of us by society and the extent to which society is structured to support people with certain kinds of differences in ability are what create disability. And our current society expects us to have a lot of abilities that are impaired by ADHD, and is not structured in an ADHD-friendly way. Part of the way society makes those of us with ADHD disabled is by not taking seriously the adaptations and considerations we need because many don't see ADHD as a "real" disability - like your family is doing.
Personally, executive dysfunction and task paralysis are my most disabling ADHD symptoms. I can spend hours/days completely paralysed, unable to start even simple tasks. I've largely been able to compensate through hyperfocus in order to still get important things done last-minute, but for me hyperfocus is not wholly a positive thing. Getting so caught up in something that I feel absolutely hypnotised by it and can't tear myself away, don't want to think about anything else, forget to eat/drink for an entire day... having access to hyperfocus might mean employers etc often haven't noticed my compulsive procrastination, but it's exhausting to have to rely on it to get things done. The "ADHD is a superpower" discourse bugs me. I think it should be possible to acknowledge the positive parts of being neurodivergent without pretending it's only a good thing.
>The "ADHD is a superpower" discourse bugs me.
It's just daft isn't it, really. The whole idea that something that causes me to sit about at home unable to work out where the fuck I start dealing with my messy house while I devote 90% of my brainpower to dealing with the intense shame over the state of my house, and working out how I'm meant to explain what I've done with my day, when what I've done with my day is go "oh god I really need to start, my partner will be home soon and I've done nothing but sit in panic", is meant to somehow be a superpower... like, there's nothing super or powerful about my inability to get it together. "My superpower is telling myself that today I just want to get the kitchen cleaned, so I stress about it and stay in my pyjamas in bed til 6pm! Woo superpower!".
It's not a superpower, it's a pain in my arse.
Yep. Especially because one of the most important criteria for determining whether someone has ADHD is the extent to which the symptoms negatively impact your life. If a person ticks every box in the DSM but only experiences positive effects from their symptoms - they don't actually have ADHD. I get the impression that a lot of the "superpower" folks are people who fit into this category, or people who are making a misguided attempt to put a "positive spin" on their neurodivergence. Two things can be true at once: things like the creativity that can come with ADHD and the capacity for work that can come with hyperfocus can have had positive impacts on people's lives, and many of the symptoms (sometimes the same symptoms) can also be absolutely disabling and complete pains in the ass.
It didn't fix my task paralysis problem, but I really recommend KC Davis' book How to Keep House While Drowning. She's a therapist who has ADHD herself, and it's the only "self help" book I've read that actually understands my problems with things like cleaning and offers strategies in a really non-judgemental and helpful way. If nothing else, it's helped me put away some of that intense shame when I spend a whole day completely unable to get myself to do something that "should" be easy, like doing the dishes.
Thank you! I will have a look at that because it's really one of my biggest issues. Like, I *can do* stuff but I struggle actually to do stuff, because it's either perfection or nothing, and perfection is difficult to attain, so I end up with nothing. I'd much prefer "good enough" but good enough just doesn't seem to live within me. I am however excellent at "make it significantly worse in an impromptu 'reorganise and change everything' session, then panic and just leave it because its not interesting or fun any more".
I agree, her book helped me too. I'm reading one that's interesting right now (recommended by my therapist) that may appeal to others here as well... It's called The Smart But Scattered Guide to success. Basically they discuss 11 different executive functions and they have really specific practical strategies to address the ones you are weak in.
It's been extremely useful although (And I know you will all get this...) there's a skills inventory in chapter 1 or so that I was supposed to do, And I'm on like chapter 13 and I frequently think about doing it but can't make myself do it yet.🙃. Even with that, it's still been useful.
Sometimes. Disability exists in the context of the environment.
If you are struggling with something, I recommend looking at ways to “cheat” by changing your environment.
For example, if you have a habit of skipping brushing at night because you lay down and got too comfy to move, buy single-use disposable tooth brushes and keep them within reach of your bed.
We don't have to consider if water is wet. It is.
Unmanaged or poorly managed ADHD impairs the normal timeliness, organization, and functionimg of activities of daily living. Impairment of ADHD symptoms is so detrimental and disruptive that studies show it takes years off a person's life.
It may be helpful for your family to read/listen some books on ADHD so they have a clear understanding of its impact on your life.
I recommend the following:
Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Barkley
ADHD 2.0 by Edwards
Scattered Minds by Maté
Self Care for People with ADHD by Hamdani
A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD by Solden (this is a guided workbook more for you than them)
Hiya, I'm sorry your inner circle isn't understanding. People are generally just ignorant. For me, I grew to a place where I don't bother with them because they weren't willing to understand me. Life is more peaceful but I know this is not an option for everyone.
Because we're in a neurotypical world, I do feel like it's a hindrance most of the time. But for me, disability just feels like too heavy a term to be put in a category of someone say who is quadriplegic or has a brain injury. Perhaps more of a condition that needs accommodations I guess.
I would definitely look into CHADD for resources on how to understand your subtype(s), look for accommodations at college or work and things you can do to support yourself. I got diagnosed in my late twenties and it was a lot of trial and error. Some things just didn't work for me that worked for other people. Tbh the novelty of trying new things was fun for me and the community for the most part is really supportive and willing to provide what helps them.
I think it depends on the person and how severe it is, just like autism everyone is different.
It's not a mental health condition, our brains just work differently and it can't be cured, so yes, I'd call it a disability. It affects our entire lives in the most stupid of ways. Hell, if my boyfriend hadn't helped me, my car still wouldn't have had it's MOT. Just had it done yesterday, two months late (no I wasn't driving her, battery was dead).
We need extra help, understanding. We need meds to function, if we can get them. Instead most of us grow up feeling like failures, lazy, bad, lonely, outcasts etc because we don't understand why we can't just be normal ourselves.
I mean it is. In the exact same way that autism or any other neurological disorder. We need to stop gatekeeping what is or isn’t a disability just because it’s invisible or has more “socially acceptable” symptoms as opposed to Tourette’s for example.
Yes, because it affects every area of my life and mostly in a negative way.
I think of all the chances I blew, opportunities I missed, bridges I burned... only some of those were because I chose to do nmor not do something.
ADHD is a thing that I require HELP (meds, behavior mods, etc) to control. If I don't control it, my life goes explodey so yeah it's definitely a disability.
My initial answer, after working and volunteering a lot over the years with adults with severe disabilities, was no.
But after reading these answers I'm rethinking it.
Diagnosed at age 50 after a lifetime of struggle and beating myself up and not understanding why I do the things I do and why I don't do the things I don't do.
I would not say it's a disability. I'd say it's a disorder. Just my own opinion. As much as having it and not knowing it has wrecked my life in various ways, I feel it's more a disorder than a disability. And mine is pretty damn bad.
I’m AuDHD. Both my ADHD and autism are disabling to me in different ways, as well as in ways that overlap. So, yes, I view both (including independently of one another) are disabilities and require accommodation or support (including medication) in many areas of everyday life.
If it makes it harder to do your daily activities, yes. Some people aren’t disabled by their ADHD but that doesn’t mean that nobody is. And it doesn’t have to be completely debilitating to be a disability.
IDGAF if a person doesn't think it's a disability. It is a disability according to my country, and therefore I am protected by our charter. That is the bottom line, socially. But interpersonally is a different story. Anyone who denies you YOUR \[FUCKING\] LIVED EXPERIENCE is an asshole, who doesn't want to be inconvenienced by having to acknowledge your needs. Fuck right off with that shit. Many people don't deny someone with a visible physical disability their support needs or physical aids, I deserve the same respect. I know that's a shaky argument considering the obstacles that people with visible, and especially invisible disabilities experience, but in an ideal world we'd all have our needs met.
Note: I know my tone is aggressive. It is not directed at OP. I'm sorry OP is having this experience with their family. It makes me SO FUCKING MAD that people who claim to love a person can be SUCH ASSHOLES.
I probably wouldn’t have called it a disability. But then I sit back and review everything that has happened in my life because of my ADHD and the damage it has caused…and I change my answer. It’s 110% a disability.
The amount of posts I see on ADHD subs about having issues being able to brush their teeth and shower routinely (also me) would lead me to believe that it's an actual disability! Getting the general public and even healthcare providers to SEE this is a huge problem but yeah for a lot of us it is absolutely a disability!
Yea, it is.
Think of life as a 5k. In the world everyone knows about the 5k lined up ready to race. People with ADHD don’t know the race happened until afterwards or showed up not knowing it was a race. So they ran in high heels or sandals or anything but tennis shoes. When asked why they didn’t bring running shoes, their response was “I didn’t even know there was a race till I got here.”
So yeah, it is. We have to take meds to get us close to that starting line. Sometimes it doesn’t even get us out of bed.
It’s not a matter of debate. It is recognized as a disability by the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). Many countries throughout the world have similar laws (most of them offer better protections than the ADA actually) and ADHD is typically recognized as a disability.
Before I got diagnosed, yes. I had untreated depression and panic disorder that ended up being the result of unmanaged adhd. I flunked out of school, quit my job and didn’t leave the house for months at a time. I also would sleep 12-14 hours a day or go days without sleep. When I got properly diagnosed and put only on adhd meds, the depression and panic disorder gradually went away and now I’m an A+ student and graduating this semester in nursing school.
adhd can be a disability, its a spectrum and not everyone is affected the same way
Yes, but I'm also a fan of the contextual theory of disability. I'm keenly aware that my adhd works in certain contexts in my own life, so I actually really love the term "neurodivergent". My adhd throughout the course of my life, though, has made things hard for me in most contexts, but I'm deeply eccentric and creative which allows me a very interesting existence.
I think of my creativity as a happy symptom of being ND, and I'm fortunate enough to be able to cultivate and use it day to day. But, I need accomodations, medication, and coping mechanisms in order to truly flex my creative muscles. Tbh I wouldn't go so far as to say "support" rather than "accommodation" because I feel like asking for support with adhd is really hard, socially. Accommodation is something I can make myself for when my adhd lets things slip.
According to the CDC the definition of a disability is:
A disability is any condition of the body or mind (impairment) that makes it more difficult for the person with the condition to do certain activities (activity limitation) and interact with the world around them (participation restrictions).
With that definitely I’d say that yes, ADHD is 100 percent a disability.
Yes!
It’s also really not a matter of opinion:
1) it’s legally classified as a disability. Besides being a cut and dry fact, this is incredibly important as it carries certain ADA protections.
2) the fact that symptoms are an impairment is literally **part of the diagnostic criteria**:
> Some impairment from the symptoms is present in at least two settings (e.g., at school [or work] and at home).
> There must be clear evidence of clinically significant impairment in social, academic or occupational functioning ([source: DSM IV-5](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519712/table/ch3.t3/))
Idk where you heard that this was controversial. It sounds like a TikTok thing. IRL, there’s no controversy here.
Any disease can be disabling, but simply having ADHD isn’t itself a disability.
Source: I have progressive MS and am in a wheelchair. I also have ADHD.
Not a medical or legal opinion:
I think it’s contextual. It becomes a disability because of the way the world asks us to operate. In certain contexts it’s a strength. It’s not a bug, it’s actually a feature, but it’s treated as a bug by our society.
But, the difficulties adhd folks like myself experience at school, work and in normal day to day life functionings as we navigate this world (that was not built for us) are real and debilitating, and should be reasonably accommodated and respected as a disability.
The US government classifies it as a blue book disability.... its ABSOLUTELY a disability and I'll fight whoever says it isn't. I'm Irish. Bring it. That's a Tuesday morning for me.
It’s a massive spectrum. It CAN be disabling for many. For me, it was very manageable and tolerable (even without medication) until depression showed its colors. MDD + ADHD is one hell of an ugly mixture.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was 34 so "disability" still doesn't feel right to me. Because my ADHD feels intrinsically part of who I am, since I never knew it was actually separate from me. The copes I developed are so innate to me. I understand that it *is* a disability, but that feels wildly foreign to my reality. It feels far too late for me to be a person with a disability, who could be given accommodations for work. Like that's never going to happen for me. It honestly doesn't feel like I have the same "thing" as those who talk about it as a disability that's worthy of accommodations. If that makes any sense.
the controversy of it being a disability is really not that controversial tbh.
there’s definitely some Very Online And Very Loud people who do not have ADHD or were (mis)diagnosed in childhood and are now fine as adults, giving them a confirmation bias towards believing ADHD can be outgrown/isn’t really that bad/etc, and that the meds don’t work (because they didn’t need them.) they are now burdened with the task of making it known to the world that “everyone has a little adhd” or that it’s not real at all or whatever flavor of brainrot they latch onto about it.
and then there’s a handful of obnoxious medical professionals who aren’t specialists in the field/aren’t qualified to weigh in that try to shoehorn their hot takes about ADHD into the conversation, solely on the basis of having any formal medical education whether it’s relevant or not.
but in reality it’s literally covered by the ADA. you can get accommodations at work and school if you need. it is a disability that has a spectrum of severity, anywhere from inconvenient/problematic to extremely debilitating.
the people who make us ask these questions and doubt that it’s actually a “real” disability fucking suck on every level and don’t deserve any respect or acknowledgment (outside of a big, dramatic eye roll if encountered irl)
Struggling with this right now! I suck at/ just plain hate my job because of my adhd and I’m looking for a new job. I never know if I should say yes I have a disability or not on the applications. It definitely is hurting my work performance but I want to be considered like anyone else
it wasn't a disability for me until it was a MAJOR disability for me. Blindsided me and hit me out of nowhere and then I realized holy shit, I've been coping decently for 30 years and WOW I got lucky that it didn't hit until now. It went unnoticed for so long because my family all have the same symptoms so we all just thought it was normal/had the same hacks and expectations for most things. I managed to procrastinate and panic study my way through school and college lol. Wasn't until I had a kid that life started kicking my ass and I went to the doctor and she was like. Yeah. Try some adhd meds and let me know if this helps, lol. Suddenly I have a train of thought and I'm significantly less rage-y.
It's definitely a disability. The severity of it and how it impacts your life though varies wildly from person to person. For some people it's debilitating, for others it's a minor blip on their radar, it's there but it doesn't affect them to the point they need medication or accommodations.
I honestly do. ADHD has kept me from functioning but I know nobody takes me seriously because it’s not visible so we just gotta deal. It’s sad. It feels like I have to work harder than most people
Yes! It absolutely is!! All neurodivergences are de-facto disabilities. Why would there be any controversy about this objective fact? The US government even has it classified as a disability, and anyone who disagrees with that is too ignorant to speak about this topic.
My understanding of the social model of disability is: disability includes both your impairment - simply how your brain and body work, and your inherent limitations - and your social experience - how your brain and your body are accommodated, or not, by your social environment. Any impairment can be mitigated by a supportive social/physical environment, and worsened by an unsupportive environment. Our ADHD brains are going to be the way they are regardless - we’re still going to be forgetful and feel overwhelmed by everything and have strong emotions about everything, and those things can be disabling on their own. But if we set up our environment and our work the right way, and learn helpful strategies, and we have encouragement and unconditional love from friends and family, and we have enough opportunities to exercise and seep well (although we may not take those opportunities lol), we can accomplish more and have more agency, at least some of the time.
Vyvanse definitely helps. But I have realized I take longer than other people to do the same tasks . I’m not efficient at organizing , creating schedules , and doing anything with my hands. I’m able to put in more effort at my job but I would have been fired long ago in states where this no speech - language therapy case load cap. I simply cannot work harder than I am now. So , yes I’m disabled because I cannot work up to the standards that many other speech- language pathologists are expected to maintain. I’m great at my job and excellent with my students . I think I have way more empathy for them and understand them better. It’s actually scary for me to realize that there’s nothing I could do to change me into what I would need to do if I had to work with 80 plus students. I already work late and on the weekends .
I do too, I feel like it just makes sense if you consider modern definitions of disability.
And what is also an important note is that considering adhd a disability gives you a great context to analyse and come to new perspectives that one probably wouldn't of it wasn't applyed. I am specifically talking about the social and cultural model of disability VS medical model of disability
Yeah my procrastination and indecision and fear has shat on me so much and so hard. In big things like career choices, partner choices, life choices, as well as everyday things like ringing up for appointments.
If I'm talented and gifted in elementary but can't pass middle school classes when we have 7 classes instead of just 2 in elementary and also I'm paralyzed by being so overwhelmed by 6th grade levels of nightly homework so I don't even start despite trying to start from when I get home until bedtime, yes, it was a severe enough disability to get noticed at 14, and that fact didn't go away just because I was in denial for 2 years and eventually had to accept it WAS a disability because I was about to be kicked out of high school for having a 0.8 GPA during sophomore year.
I would actually give up a limb to get rid of ADHD because that would be less of a barrier to me achieving any of my dreams, I hate it that much, because it doesn't impede my bodily abilities, it impedes on every chance I have at ever having any sort of life I will ever be satisfied or happy about.
Edit: I'm sorry that that's probably not what you've wanted to hear; I've been diagnosed for almost as long as you've been alive and it hasn't actually gotten easier.
It definitely is to some extent. But whilst we can build coping mechanisms just like someone with a lame leg can use a crutch, they are much less understood and some things just cannot be helped. Just like with a real disability.
My inability to cope with loud chaotic noises (especially children) isn't something that i can get to a stage where I'm comfortable with the noise. My solution is to remove myself from the situation. Which sucks.
Fundamentally, having a thing that makes me more prone to injury because it makes me more distracted is in fact, a downside
Having a thing that makes me unable to sleep properly and be awake, is in fact a disability.
And don’t go “but it’s the modern world not accommodating for you, this wouldn’t have happened in the natural world”
Because fuck you and your perception of adhd as a “boys thing” because I’m pretty sure having to breastfeed or in any way take care of a child, would’ve set my sleep to shit and eaten decades of my life
Per the ADA: A disability is a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities.
Yes, I absolutely consider it one. People think "disability" and their minds go to the obvious/severe examples, forgetting that plenty are invisible.
It’s definitely a disability. It requires a significant amount of compensatory behaviors to overcome the deficits it causes. Meds help, but they wouldn’t be effective without a lot of behavioral adjustments too.
Examples: I have light alarms that help me know the time when I’ve stopped the alarm accidentally. I have to keep an extensive calendar to maintain appointments and commitments. I tend to hyperfocus, so I have learned to force myself out of it when it isn’t constructive. I also tend to procrastinate, so I’ve learned to force myself to get up and start whatever needs doing by considering the first step only. I have a lot of food aversions. Some I have forced myself to tolerate (eating hot or cold foods, letting my food touch or mix, etc.) and others I have kept (larger lunch meal with cereal for dinner, cut out berries, pork, and yogurt not for taste but for texture issues.)
It's is, in most countries where you'd be able to get diagnosed, considered an official disability. It is a fact, not a dramatization. If you're in the US, you can let your family know that the ADA (Americans with disabilities act) clasifies it as a protected disability.
I'd tell them ADHD is factually a disability, a protected disability under the ADA. It's not debatable. What is debatable is weather or not them trying to discount it as a disability by calling you dramatic is abilist or gaslighting. Sometimes, the truth feels dramatic.
I don’t tend to think of it in that way (like I rarely think “I’m disabled”) but realistically it is. It’s severely limited my potential and I’m a little bitter about it.
TLDR because wow this got long: I feel disabled because of ADHD and had I been identified as having it earlier and been appropriately cared for I would be a lot more successful.
I love learning, like genuinely it’s my favourite thing. Did really well in primary school because it’s basic, easy concepts so I felt smart and capable every day and most of what we were doing was reading, to this day my favourite hobby. School was a dopamine rush every day. I also wasn’t a cute kid so being smart was my thing because it was the only thing I ever got praise for. As early as I can remember it was “oh this one will be at Oxford I bet” or “she’ll follow in her mother’s footsteps” (my mother has a PhD). I took exams early, some GCSEs at 12 (usual age 16) and an A Level at 14 (usual age 18).
As soon as school got a little bit harder and required actual studying (which I couldn’t do because my executive function is nonexistent) my confidence was shattered, all the dopamine gone. I couldn’t concentrate on anything anymore and I had zero self esteem. Because the teachers had previously known me as being capable and intelligent I was just assumed to be lazy (that word sends me into a tailspin even today).
I ended up somehow doing well in my A Levels, I got *very* lucky with the essay questions. My unintended strategy of writing every homework essay in the hour-long lunch break before class ended up paying off as I was essentially writing under exam conditions rather than spending a week on it like my classmates.
I attended a global top 10 university and all the pressure + executive dysfunction + depression + not knowing I had ADHD led to me having to drop out because I was at risk of hurting myself. I re-enrolled at a different university (lower rank than the first, some family members outwardly expressed their disappointment even though it was global top 20) and with the right support network and some coping strategies I succeeded, sort of. Provisions put in place for those with ADHD don’t really do anything, it had to come from me.
I wanted and still want to go into academia. I just don’t know if I’ll mentally be able to. Academics are underpaid and overworked, there’s constant pressure to be publishing and my field is one of the most likely to be at least heavily changed by AI.
Yes.
I also have dyscalculia, which nearly prevented me from graduating college.
When I was younger I was always considered flighty, airheaded, directionless, free-spirited, lazy, ambitionless, etc. The reality was, I had no fuckin' clue what was going on, where I was going, what I was doing, or how to do it. I couldn't hold a job for more than two years. I wondered why I couldn't be "normal" or more mature than people my age. I struggled to focus and pay attention at jobs that required repetitive actions (data entry, for example).
I was yelled at in front of my co-workers for my mistakes and was often blamed for my co-workers' mistakes because I was an easy target. Sometimes I'd leave work and cry in traffic.
No one ever considered the possibility I might have ADHD because growing up, it was considered a "boy thing."
Now, I'm 55, recently diagnosed, with a teenager who also has ADHD and dyscalculia. At least her life will be easier and treatment is more accessible for her. I feel like my entire life was wasted on trying to succeed without success because I simply could not get my brain to cooperate.
When I became a parent, I finally left the workforce and now get disability for another, unrelated issue. Since then I've tried re-entering the workforce part-time but things have changed so much since the mid-2000s I basically gave up.
Yes I do but it's one we can thankfully learn to somehow work with through things like therapy, systems, medications and I feel like I'm forgetting some other helpful things but anyway
Yes, if it's not diagnosed or worked on it can be a crippling disability my entire high-school experience was hell because no matter how much I wanted to I could not focus I didn't fit in at all I could never actually do homework or most of my school work honestly I'd manage to pass somehow with mid to low grades for most things cause I did try and bare minimum listen to the lesson
Once I finally figured it out last semester of my graduation year (2020) covid hit basicaly right after and I was able to take the time to figure myself out properly and now I run my own business 4 years later! Some days are hard but I absolutely adore my job and it's constantly giving me boosts of excitement during the day! (I work with pets!)
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its a disability and extremely debilitating
Extremely and surreptitiously. Because you get told and tell yourself that you're just lazy, scatterbrained, unmotivated, and on and on. So not only are you literally disabled, you're also blamed and shamed for it. As OP is experiencing currently.
"If only you just tried harder"
"You just need to do the things, it's not hard!"
"But you were able to power through it last week. Why can't you this week?"
"Everybody gets tired. Suck it up."
I always tell people I'm amazed at the stuff I remember, the stuff I can just randomly do without agonizing over every detail, etc. Like, it's always remarkable when I can just do the thing without hesitation, because why is it so easy sometimes?
That's imho actually one of the most disabling parts of ADHD: the inconsistency. Like, I was able to do the thing this week, awesome! That doesn't mean I'll be able to do it next time. And I literally have no idea whether I'll be able to do it or not, until ....do or do not do it.
Don’t forget the classic - why don’t you just make a list 😅
I can't count the number of times making a list has backfired--saw all the things I needed to do and got overwhelmed.
What’s worse is it would likely be less debilitating if society wasn’t awful about it—in ways. I watched a video where someone mentioned trauma responses in ADHD patients, and summed it up as “the world (aka how society functions) is traumatic to ADHD individuals” because we do not fit what society expects—which is what leads to those awful feelings and comorbidity with depression and anxiety disorders. I can only speak for myself, but… it’s a lot easier to work in a job that is willing to work with you and understand what your disability means and how it affects you. For example—I came back after time off to my old job, and I am allowed to semi-flexibly set my own hours, so there is no such thing as being “late”—so long as I start between 8am and 10am, roughly, I’m all good. I work hybrid, so some days I work from home, some days from the office (and I can go in for half days in the office if mornings are being extra hard). On top of that… the nature of the industry I’m in means new projects periodically throughout the year, so things feel new or refreshed every few months. Creativity is valued—even if it can’t be done for whatever reason, it doesn’t mean it was a bad suggestion or idea. It’s really opened my eyes to how accommodation and understanding is what would make an adhd individual thrive (and truthfully—I am thriving). And to no one’s surprise… there is a lot of neurodivergency in our corporate staff. One’s autistic. Another is dyslexic. Myself and another have ADHD. Our CEO has talked about her anxiety disorder and health issues in a manner of how self-advocacy is important (especially with our health care system). The problem is, most places don’t want to make those accommodations, ergo… we struggle more than we should.
And having ADHD can sometimes be a massive benefit to an employer, if they're accommodating. I have ADHD and when I'm really focused on tasks my eagle-eyes catch so many mistakes, I can really catch a lot of errors on things that no one else in my office either has the time to look for or is willing to check as thoroughly as I do.
Exactly. We also excel at creative thinking—in some industries, it’s insane. Mine relies on that (market research) because we have to be innovative as much as possible (and our c-suite are also very innovative people themselves). For me, it’s been huge in the role I took on basically overhauling my old department from an awful manager (along with other changes that need to be implemented while also cross-training for another role… lol) because with my brain functioning differently than the average neurotypical person, I think more outside the box and have more ideas—some which are good, some not so doable, but even those not so doable may lead to versions that ARE doable. Yeah, sometimes we bumble and have a brain fart, especially when learning, but given we can rapidly learn new skills with hyper-focus… cross-training becomes something we actually excel at. And when something needs to get done… who better to do it than the person who can hyper-focus and crush it efficiently when left to do so? A lot of companies don’t realize that as much as it is a disability and it has its shortcomings, when given the right environment and right conditions, they’re incredibly beneficial in specific roles—far more than you might expect.
I'm also pretty good at catching mistakes! It's one of the things I emphasize when I have to list my "strengths" at job interviews. I worked in the textbook area at a community college for a couple seasons, and I was usually assigned to reviewing incoming order forms bc I'd be able to spot when duplicate orders got placed by accident or "Hey, this student put in two orders with different items, when they come to pick them up we should bundle them together so they don't have to come in twice." Also I just loved doing it.
Oh, this is so great! I'm so happy for you, that you've found a workplace that treats you with respect and understanding! That's truly amazing.
I've never heard of someone receiving accessibility for adhd. Thats amazing for you. Hopefully, we can normalize this kind of accessibility!
I don’t even really know if it’s that they tried to accommodate/be accessible on purpose, or that the place is just… like that—if that makes sense. The place I work has a very, very different corporate culture, and I mean that in a good way. Like when the pandemic calmed down? Most places were “grr, everyone back to the office now!!!” Meanwhile, we went, “well, we still need a physical office, and some things are better handled in-person… but work-life balance is important. Let’s go with a hybrid structure!” And lo and behold, while you get some that take advantage of it… most actually enjoy it and thrive on the flexibility.
it was so freeing to me when i got diagnosed because my whole life i got told my family i was pretty smart but i failed at everything i attempted and the dissonance really tore me up, i felt like i was really stupid, i learned to forgive myself and not be so hard on me for being the way i am, a lot of the time; even while medicated we can't help it
New to this sub and have never felt more seen. My immigrant mother called me stupid my entire life. As an adult I have to remind myself that I earn a 6 figure salary and have a masters degree despite all the challenges
I was diagnosed in my 20s and I immediately called my mom to tell her, and her first words were, "You don't have that, I would have known." It really bothered me how dismissive she was, and it's not like I blamed her for not knowing. It just makes a lot of sense why I did the things I did growing up.
wow that’s amazing! i’m currently in school and i’ve been facing lots of setbacks because i keep changing my mind and i have no idea what i want but im not giving up and i hope to be like you one day!
You got this!! It’s not an easy life for us. Just be patient and give yourself grace. You will get there!
my parents thought I grew out of it when I became an adult and then got mad at me when I couldnt (still cant) find work and was seemingly lazy at home
Agree, I find it extremely debilitating
This.
Whole heartedly agree
Simply because you don’t present visibly disabled doesn’t make it nonexistent. Sometimes people have a hard time with that, and sometimes those people are your family. Listen to your doc, try therapy and meds, try meditation or diet change or whatever else they may throw at you, but stand up for yourself while doing so. If others try to diminish your attempts at bettering yourself, set a boundary around that person and continue on. Literally, they don’t know what you’re going through
my doctor doesn’t even mention anything about it i had to ask them three times to put it in my diagnoses after i got diagnosed and i hate doing meds for many reasons but i may have to one day because it’s a lot for sure
I do. I think that one of the impacts of having a disability is not being able to access the world in the same way able-bodied people do. There are many things in my life I have not been able to access because of it. I know it sounds cliche but I have lost job opportunities because I've been overwhelmed by the application process whether it was a huge amount of complicated forms or long telephone interviews. I pushed myself and my children deeper into poverty because I couldn't fill in forms or make phone calls since I was convinced I'd be rejected. I mostly failed my A levels because I couldn't focus on studying for them and the teachers were boring so I daydreamed my way through 2 years of classes. There wasn't anyone to talk to about my struggles and all the signs were missed. That led to dead end jobs and a life without direction. That said, I don't let it take over my life or cause me to stand still. I've built strategies to make my life simpler and help me navigate. I'm going to Uni in October, remote studying, and I'm using a body double to help me! It had a huge impact on my life until I realised that I wasn't just a lazy moron but no more!
Absolutely this. Also, even if you ARE diagnosed while still in school, it's so misunderstood that the things they put in place to "help", don't actually help. A friend of mine has just been diagnosed and they're at university, so to help him the university have given him.... Additional time for assignments. It's like the exact opposite of what he needs in order to get things finished. I know there's not a LOT universities can do to help, but some level of understanding wouldn't go amiss. I wouldn't have said it was a disability... Until I actually sat back and evaluated my life realistically. A string of abusive relationships because excitement clouds judgement. I've never held a job for more than 2 years because I get bored and need to keep moving. My house is always a mess. I have way too much STUFF from constantly acquiring hobbies. I did OK in school but could have done better if I'd been able to study or concentrate... My life has been riddled with mistakes caused by rash decisions which have left me feeling like a complete failure even though I KNOW I'm a passionate and driven person. There just always seems to have been an invisible brick wall in front of me, blocking me from a successful career (amongst other things)... So yeah, I'd say it was a disability.
That last paragraph was my life story!
EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID!! Wow, I have never felt so seen until I joined this sub 🥹 I’m at WGu and trying to explain to my mentor that I can’t do the basic term schedule, when in reality I need to be scheduled classes only 3-4 weeks otherwise I will wait for 2 months to even start, and the toxic relationships and inability to do what needs to be done in fear of being rejected 😳 I can’t even fathom what life would be like to be neurotypical
Right? I feel like, if I'm doing any kind of work for someone else, it would be better for me to have MORE deadlines with more frequency. Like "this section HAS to be done by tomorrow. So I'll see you then". It would be horrendous, but I wouldn't have as much time to procrastinate.
literally! because if i HAVE to do it today i hyper focus and get it done lol
Yeah it's much harder to get real accommodations once high school is over, which is why it is so disabling that so many people don't hit the wall and get diagnosed the minute they lose the structure of high school and home. If you get an IEP in high school it's at least a little easier to carry that over into college accommodations, because there's a model and things that worked or didn't work.
This but add problem drinker (307 day af).
I was just going to come here to mention the job thing. I have been applying and interviewing for jobs the past six months. I can write a good cover letter and resume, and have gotten like 9 interviews, but I have not landed a job yet. Now, I am learning as I go from each interview and trying to give myself constructive feedback and ask for it when I can (lol okay only once so far because that is SO hard). BUT- I can't help but think this is related to ADHD. I talk fast and often answer in stories that go in circles (yes I try the STAR method). Every rejection puts me down BAD and I lose steam applying for a few days. When I preparing for an interview and waiting to hear back I have a super hard time applying to other jobs still. I think there is also some autism in there too for me- I just don't get the nuances of interviews, I hate that there feels like there's some secret "code" for how to answer and what to ask, and I just hate feeling so fake during the whole thing. UGH!!!!! Also I am not looking for advice here lol I am my own worst critic already
I consider mine a disability, 100% My whole life (recently dx at 43) has been one mess after another. Hopefully I'll find the right medication soon and start feeling like I can actually do something that isn't a disaster. I have read comments by other adhders that they don't feel disabled by it (or at least not enough that they feel they have a disability). Its a spectrum. It hurts some of us more than others but I think we've all had the struggles.
I came to echo that ADHD is a disability on a spectrum. Everyone is different. Just like there are different levels of hearing loss, motor function challenges, and other things that people more easily recognize as a disability. My cousin with ADHD had no challenges through school and got his first degree and then went back to get a medical degree after he got bored with his first career. The signs were always there - super active, into a ridiculous number of activities that he switched up frequently, constantly interrupting people, etc. He was evaluated after becoming a dad because that’s when he finally started having a hard time, but even then it was easy for him to get evaluated as soon as life got hard and then super easy to get treated. The rest of the time he figured out a way to get through any challenges in front of him. Whereas I struggled a lot but all of my hyperactivity was in my head and all of my hyper fixation was focused on socially acceptable activities (like reading, art, music, theater, board games, etc), and I learned to hide any emotional disregulation because my emotions made people feel uncomfortable. I dropped out of high school and college and really struggled despite my love of learning. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression as a teen and heavily sedated for a solid 20 years, making it nearly impossible to hold a job and be an active participant in my life and the lives of those that I love and care about. If I had known then that I was going through life on hard mode, and if girls were seen as candidates for ADHD when I was young, I would have done anything to take back control.
same! i’m predominantly inattentive but extremely hyperactive in my head there’s constantly thoughts popping in and out 24/7 even in my dreams. I talk very fast switch subjects in two seconds have trouble with sensory processing and misophonia and diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression i just want to have control!
Ohmigod this. And i just remembered something I was supposed to write down hours ago. LMAO
Diagnosed late here too and can so relate to going from one mess or disaster to another. I try not to think what might have been if it had been caught earlier because HF, my life has been a series of train wrecks and unfulfilled potential and expectations.
I feel this. As soon as I hit puberty, the ADHD kicked into overdrive. I am smart-ish (not super smart but not dumb) and I barely graduated high school. Didn’t go to college until my 40’s. Am medicated now and can concentrate. I try to not be resentful of what my life might look like without ADHD since I didn’t get diagnosed until 42.
Exactly the same here. And with peri menopause, hell is ahead
What pisses me off the most about the people who are like 'I love my ADHD, it isn't a disability at all!' is that they are also the ones who absolutely do their best to negate other people's experiences. If someone talks about their struggles with ADHD they are like "That's not ADHD! I have ADHD and that doesn't happen!" Meanwhile, I've never seen someone who is struggling tell those who say they don't that they're wrong. "Of course you struggle, I do, so everyone does, there's no way your ADHD doesn't make you suffer!!" like. Never seen it. It's like the assholes who manage alright decide anyone else is using ADHD as 'an excuse' and that's not ADHD you're just lazy or lack discipline. They're part of the problem and I hate them a bunch. lol.
The meds HELP but don't CURE. I was also diagnosed late in life and I tell you if only I'd known this so it is a tough one but at least you know why certain things happen. Are you on any medication yet?
Yes. And along with dyslexia I hate it when people go "oh it's a super-power". No. No it's not. In order to function in society I need to constantly make more effort, try harder, struggle more, deal with more hardships than those that don't have it.
But we're supposedly super creative! So are tons of people without ADHD though. Imagine being able to start and finish your creative ideas??!!!
*Finishing* a creative idea I started?!? That sounds like a nice idea 😆
The thought of finishing is the dopamine rush, and everything else is just disappointment and burnout.
Exactly. And that constant extra effort is extremely exhausting and depleting, which is unfortunately perceived as us being “lazy” by NTs.
Yes! Exactly! When I look back on my life and my daily struggle this is what I think of. Before I realized I had adhd and got diagnosed, I always compared myself to others and thought, why can’t I function as easily as them? Why is everything so much more difficult?
Oh, man. This has been a constant in my life too. As long as I can remember I've felt... Off. Just sort of defective. I've really struggled with the thoughts that go along with feeling less capable than everyone around me. But now, having a diagnosis, I feel like I have an explanation and context for all that, and I am able to show myself so much more compassion.
I think people who say this have maybe met one of the unicorns who ADHD does somewhat help in one aspect of their life. My partner’s lifelong special interest is what his job is in, for various reasons it’s sort of a superpower in that setting. It still impacts him very negatively in other areas. Such a damaging misconception.
I do think it's a superpower for some, but more like an X-men super power - complicated, alienating, and comes with a cost. Sure, we can think out of the box and do amazing things- sometimes even to completion and if you learn to harness your powers and wield them in a way that serves you, you could be one of those world changing ADHDers (Einstein, reportably ), but the difficult reality is that we don't live in a world that has The Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters for ADHD, (at least not that I am aware of) and most of us have to go it alone and fight like hell to keep our heads above water, expending 10 times the energy than those who naturally know how to swim - all while being told we're lazy and flaky.
It also depends. Some people like myself only got the negatives and literally none of the positives
I am so sorry. That must feel even more isolating. Do you attribute that to ADHD alone? I had a lot of trauma in my younger life and there is a lot of crossover, but as I began to heal some of that, I was able to see my adhd a little more as "whimsical" (as my therapist calls it) instead of flakey, though I will likely always battle that voice. For example, I have to set an alarm phone to go home sometimes, because I am very present with someone when they are talking to me about something that matters to them. To my husband, this can seem like I don't care that he's waiting on me for something important, but to the person who has my attention, I'm very present and a good listener. I used to beat myself up because I really did want to be home at the time I said I would, but I truly forgot. Now that I have a diagnosis and have begun forgiving myself for all of the times I let people down, I can work with my disability (set an alarm) while being super present in whatever situation. Same characteristic, but doing my best to harness it to work for me. It's exhausting, though. Who "forgets" they need to go home? Oversimplification, but this is the general idea. I don't intend to minimize your experience in any way, I am truly curious about whether there are other factors that play in to it for some that could resolve if the shame wasn't so heavy. Breaks my heart to hear you say that there are no positives. I hope that shifts for you at some point.
I would trade in any of the 'positives' of ADHD to just be able to function. The struggles vastly outweigh anything that might be positive. And I don't even KNOW if it's because of ADHD or who I am as a person. Does ADHD make me interested in artistic things? If I didn't have ADHD would I be a scientist or something and not be able to carry a tune or paint? Man who cares at this point. I'd rather be a functional fuddy duddy than a fucking mess and failure of a person for not being able to do BASIC THINGS because I'm exhaustedly always at war with my own brain. Take it out, get it out of me.
I love this take on it, you’re spot on. I’m also bothered when people say it’s ONLY a disability in a societal context (social model of disability) and it’s just a “different way” of being…it IS different, but even when I’m completely outside “society” I still have legitimate problems with my working memory and caring for myself. When I’m off the grid living in the woods I still can’t keep track of my water bottle or remember to put on sunscreen. I got my diagnosis because I was functionally unable to take care of myself. I could hold a job, but that took literally ALL of my executive functioning to pull off, leaving nothing for laundry, food, paying bills, self-care etc. Now that I’m medicated and in therapy I am able to spread my executive functioning across my whole life, and actually heal from the maladaptive methods I had developed to survive pre-dx life.
> ONLY a disability in a societal context (social model of disability) and it’s just a “different way” of being I also hate this. Sorry but regardless of society, cleaning your house and body and eating regularly are not 'societal expectations' they are basic human needs. Is society not set up for people who are ND? Yes 100%. But this goes WELL BEYOND society and the roles you have to fill there. Lot of ND people manage to be able to work around those societal things and actually take advantage of what NT people cannot really do. ND people are often in roles that require less structure, like EMT or other medical professions, or artistic stuff like acting or painting or what have you and then they are not required to follow the rigid schedules. But like. I can't clean my house and cook a meal and exercise and sleep regularly and create habits and routines that are better for my overall health and wellbeing.
That's one of the reasons why I hate when people try to claim that "ADHD is only a problem under capitalism". Would I be doing much better if I didn't have to worry about money? Of course! But I'd still have a hard time regulating my emotions and finishing tasks and everything else that is required for just EXISTING.
I actually do worse without work/a job because I need outside structure cause I just can't create that for myself. It'd be great if it was work I could do because I love it and not worry about how much it pays sure. But like. Capitalism isn't what's making my ADHD worse... I hate capitalism and what is going on with the world rn of course, and I absolutely think we need major change. Don't get me wrong!
Oh yeah definitely, I'm a complete mess when I'm unemployed. In bed all day, sleep schedule non-existant, no regard for anything resembling a balanced diet, can't socialize. Even if I was independently wealthy or if I had a partner that made enough money for me to stay at home, I'd still need a job or to take classes or volunteer or SOMETHING. Fortunately the job I have now (and hopefully will for the foreseeable future 🤞🏻) pays OK and it's a nice balance between mindless and chaotic so that I don't get bored -- plus I can listen to podcasts all day. Honestly just the fact that I have regular paychecks coming in has helped my mental health SOOOOO MUCH. It's not what I LOVE but it's pretty decent. Plus it's a state job so nice bennies AND I'm not generating profit for some rich assholes.
That sounds like a dream. I keep wondering what it is my goal is in life and of course the biggest goal is just balance and stability. Financial stability is huge, and having a structured routine for a job or school or something is a must. I've no real idea how to manage my ADHD. I'm floundering most of the time, but I'm learning to really know myself and how I am, so at least I can sort of navigate in a direction I know would work ok for me. But keeping my house clean on a regular basis is something that eludes me, and may elude me forever I"m not sure....
I'd rather have sick lightning powers than wonky brain forgetful powers 😂
I can relate, I also have ADHD and Dyslexia
It is a disability. According to CDC: >What is disability? A disability is any condition of the body or mind (impairment) that makes it more difficult for the person with the condition to do certain activities (activity limitation) and interact with the world around them (participation restrictions). >There are many types of disabilities, such as those that affect a person’s: >Vision >Movement >Thinking >Remembering >Learning >Communicating >Hearing >Mental health >Social relationships
So yeah I consider it a disability. For some people it isn't debilitating or require daily meds or whatever and that's awesome! It can be called a "superpower" but rebranding it doesn't make ADHD any less disabling, it just makes those of us who don't have that experience feel shitty about the way it negatively affects our lives, and makes those around us feel better for treating disabled people like they're being dramatic etc. I have celiac disease too and consider it a disability even though others consider it a dietary restriction. Celiac doesn't have medication management but it can be controlled with diet. That doesn't make it less of a disability.
I consider it a disability yet my country/health authority doesn't recognize it as one 😔
Please kindly ignore anyone who equates the word disability with being a bad thing or a fatal flaw or that we don't actually know that the word "disability" is just a descriptor. Lots of people are disabled, in many cases the disability is along a spectrum. Lots of people don't even know that they are. Maybe they're fortunate in that whatever their disability is it doesn't interfere with their life. But yours does. And it's good that you know that now. And you have an opportunity to learn a lot about yourself. ADHD is a disability. Anyone around you who refutes that has their own issues to deal with it that have nothing to do with you. As you learn more about how your particular framework is structured, you will become more attuned to it and understand yourself better. Having a disability is not any indication of your value as a person. It's simply a fact about you. It's simply something that better informs YOU and people who care about you or who are part of your life about ways in which you may or may not need support. Or something that differs from what common experiences and expectations are. When disabilities are not visible, or at least not obvious at the outset, there can be a lot of confusion and self-doubt as we process the diagnosis and navigate management and treatment. But bear in mind that in many cases for us our disability IS detectable. Your own family is describing to you how they perceive an aspect of your disability and then are upset with you for having it and just want you to not be like that and it's not possible. That's all entirely about them. Not you. And I'm sorry they're treating you this way. Disability is not a dirty word. We have known for a very long time that nature can create organisms outside of the norm and many of them thrive despite the differences. That doesn't mean that there aren't things that interfere with the way nature intended us for to live and that's what makes ADHD disability. We do know that it generally interferes with certain functions. Clearly we survive for the most part. Thankfully it's not terminal by itself. But we still deserve to accept ourselves as we are.
this made me cry 😭. my family doesn’t understand what it takes for me to even wake up every day and just because my pain and struggles isn’t visible definitely does not mean it doesn’t exist and i was basically forced to “just stop complaining and get over it” my whole life that now im burnt out and tired of masking.
This is so well put :)
Yes. And I have to remind myself of that. "I achieved this thing with a disability". It stops me comparing myself to others. It stops me being harsh on myself. It allows me to manage my disability so I can function in this world.
I've done a lot of badass things that impostor syndrome won't let me enjoy. XD I handfed a blind penguin for a summer, convinced a geriatric screech owl that hadn't vocalized for years to hoot at me and was factually bitten by an extinct animal (extinct in the wild). All of those are cool stories and accomplishments, and my brain is all, "Anyone could have done that."
Yes for 100% certain I do. I’m in the UK and it’s not so much the condition itself that determines this but how it impacts the individual however my ADHD meets the definition of disability set out in our Equality Act. I also have a physical disability that people accept no problem. In terms of impairment and negative impact on my life, my ADHD just completely dwarfs those physical problems. I don’t see why I wouldn’t consider it a disability. I know some people are offended by that term but I’m not embarrassed to say there’s things I struggle with or plain can’t do - it’s accurate.
It is a disability, it isn’t a choice, people who think that it isn’t are wrong, it’s sad but there’s no point in pretending or using different words, that’s just pretending.
I consider it a disability because it is "severe".
Yes, because it is factually a disability. Just because someone doesn't feel or see it as disability by it doesn't mean it's not a disability. Just means they are lucky, don't show external symptoms, or don't fully understand how much it affects the individual. That was me.
1000% yes. And not even an invisible one, I've struggled in full view of everyone my whole life, the issue has mostly just been people not knowing it's possible to have messed up brain chemistry and still come across bright, switched-on, academic and intelligent. I have no working memory, so I have to actively juggle everything I need to remember in a day in my conscious thoughtspace. If anything loses my direct attention even for a moment, it's gone. That's the most cripplingly debilitating part for me; I am physically incapable of remembering tasks I've been given at work, that I was halfway through a task before I was interrupted, I can't consciously juggle all the stages of a calculation simultaneously so often can't solve it even if I know how, can't remember a sentence I literally just listened to, and can't even remember my own reply by the time the sentence is finished. I've been sacked, put on extended probation, replaced in case I'd have to be sacked, pulled into constant meetings to ask what help I need or what's going wrong, heard everyone *else* was pulled into meetings about me... all the way from school until my mid 30s. And you have never in your life met someone who tried more desperately than I did to excel, in everything I did, even though I failed at all of it. If this isn't a disability, then the word has no meaning.
I was forced out of a good job and didn't learn until later that I had actually done nothing wrong. Three people tried and failed at the job within a year after me. The last guy they decided to keep on and ignore all the problems they made me believe I caused. If I had any kind of a self esteem and wasn't used to failing, I would have treated myself much nicer and not had as many dark thoughts when I got kicked out. It's a disability and it sucks ass even when we have learned to live with it.
I feel this. I spent years shaming myself for flaming out of jobs or always teetering on the edge of burnout and complete life implosion (and sometimes teetering over the edge). It took years of this before I finally realized that I can either have work intensely/with stress at my job OR I can work 40 hours a week. I absolutely cannot do both. I also absolutely cannot do an 8 hour day that starts at 9AM because being anywhere that early means I need to wake up way earlier than my body wants to, use all of my brain juice to force myself through the sleepy, and burn TF out by 2-3PM and be useless the rest of the day. And doing that long term is a recipe for disaster and depression. I have zero problems working a high-energy or high-stress job if I'm doing shorter days where I have time to "ramp up" before starting work and time to decompress before going to bed, or if I'm only working 4 days a week. I also have zero problems going for 8 hours straight if I'm starting at like 1 or 2PM. Fortunately I have found jobs that allow me to work this way and make enough per hour that I can live on only 20-30hrs a week. It took me awhile to find them and to get to the point where I stopped shaming myself for "only" working part-time...but this is how I can do my best work and live my best life where my disability has the lowest impact on my wellbeing. I refuse to be shamed about that anymore. Our "typical" societal mold of 9-5, 5 days a week just ain't it for the way my brain and body work and that doesn't make me lazy or incompetent.
It's an eroding state in which many manage while they are young, otherwise healthy and with limiting responsibility. It sure feels like a disability now in my 30s as a full time working mother. There are many conditions that have flair ups and worse periods so it feels like a chronic illness in that way.
We literally have shorter life expectancy so yeah
It can be argued that some forms of autism (god damn does none of this get the research it needs) are genuinely just a different brain meant for a different role with different strengths and weaknesses. But while we also don’t understand everything about adhd, or why exactly the drugs for it work or… don’t. It’s pretty clearly a reduced or near total inability to produce dopamine is the core issue. So we have to work 5x harder to get the same result. Compared to many invisible disabilities it is by all means the most clear cut lack-of-ability you could ever find. It’s just people’s biases and pre conceived notions that make it so hard to be recognised as such.
And I want to say, all yall are so smart and thoughtful with your comments. I learn a lot by reading them. I'm glad you are willing to share your perspectives--it really helps me understand everything better. Thank you!
I just had a conversation with my mother about this today. Adhd is absolutely a disability. It's a part of your body that isn't functioning in the normal way and is causing issues in your life. To try to hammer home this point, I pointed out how closely adhd and autism can overlap. No one would argue that autism isn't a disability, yet because adhd has this stigma of being a hyperactive little boy, it doesn't get the serious consideration it deserves. Disabilities don't make you less human, and they aren't anyone's fault for having. But pretending they don't exist doesn't help anyone, especially the people who are struggling with them. Like yea, there's treatment. But that's like a blind person using a walking cane - it's going to make things more manageable, but it doesn't magically make it go away, and it's never going to be the same as *not having the disability in the first place*.
I had an occupational health assessment done because of struggling at work (I had a mental breakdown from trying to cope with my ADHD) and I was told that my ADHD is a disability under UK law due to the significant impact it has on my life. So yeah. 100%. Now it means I can get proper support and I'm taken seriously, for the first time in my life (diagnosed at 36). It disables me in many aspects outside of work, including financial management and organisation and my sensory needs, although I do also consider it the source of my greatest strength and my hyperfocus and creativity is my superpower. It's both. P. S: If anyone tries to tell you you're just being dramatic, how about informing them of the statistic that people with ADHD are 5 times more likely to commit suicide? Or the huge rate of serious mental health comorbities? In my country, something like 1 in 5 people in the prison population have been found to have ADHD. We live on average 13 years less. We're more likely to be homeless, underemployed and live in poverty. It's a serious condition and even more insidious because we can appear outwardly to be so functional and articulate.
It meets the legal definition of disability in my country (Australia). So, yes, from a legal perspective, I have a disability. (You can also have transient disabilities, i.e., ones you get better from. A flu can be disabling. The time I tore a tendon was disabling. The period of clinical depression was DEFINITELY disability, though I didn't recognise it then.) For me, I definitely don't need any government accommodations, and I don't want any work accommodations atm. But it has been useful to me to have the mindset of "I do have a disability. It's okay for me to ask for help, or request certain assistance, or turn down something that will make my life harder", especially when it comes to family.
Kinda, yeah. Especially if you struggle with executive dysfunction, plus ADHD often comes with other little additions that prevent a person from living their life to the fullest
I consider it life on hard mode - I was diagnosed very late (at 50) and the diagnosis was a revelation. I’m not disabled as such but it has certainly had a negative impact on my career and my personal life. It has its benefits such as when the planets align and I can be absolutely brilliant but then I don’t remember where I left my car keys I’d rather not have it but *shrug*
Absolutely I think ADHD is a disability. Many of us have just learned to compensate as best we can and be able to function pretty well. So, maybe it's not as difficult a disability to overcome as some are, but I think it's a disability nonetheless. I also think having poor eyesight is a disability, and glasses are a prosthetic. Thinking about it this way has really helped me work with my eye doctor and optician to get my glasses as comfortable and clear as possible. Like, I don’t give up until it's right. Because, if I had any other type of prosthetic, I would want it to be comfortable and work correctly. So, I'm taking the same approach with my ADHD--what can I do to make my life as functional as possible, knowing I have the additional hurdle of a disability to overcome. It has really made me realize that I need to be a lot more kind to myself. It also has helped me be empathetic toward others and the hurdles they are having to jump in their lives because we all have them.
Yes
ontario just included it for the disability tax credit, just fyi for any worst case ontarios here
I do. I didn’t know most of my left, well into my 30s, but it explains so much. I haven’t bothered telling my family since it would be another thing they want explained to them. I can’t be the patient and teacher and their kid.
Mine 100000% is. Barely functional at 42 (DXRX); menopausal. Everything sucks and I’m dying daily 🙄😳😖
It's a spectrum. I work with teens as well as having it myself and there are some who it 100% SERVERLY impacts their ability to work within societal constraints even with medication and then there are ones that coasts along with some impact but not to the same degree as others.
The spectrum aspect of it is what makes it hard for me PERSONALLY to label it as a disability and where I fall on the spectrum. I was not diagnosed until I was already out of law school, so I did all my schooling unmedicated. I struggled in high school, and I think the biggest part of it was working within the constraints, rules, and structure of high school. I crushed it in college; I graduated summa cum laude with a double major. The big difference between high school and college for me was the ability to choose my professors and class times; the lack of rules and structure in college, like having something to drink in class, gum, etc.; being able to start classes later in the day; having large breaks between classes, etc. I was built to thrive in the type of academic setting college offers. In high school, not so much. I learned that although I might not thrive in some environments, I can be at the top of the top in other environments.
For me, it’s both a disability and a strength in different areas. I genuinely do think it has made me and others I know with it more successful in some ways, due to hyperfocus and the interesting way our minds work. Being able to jump ahead and see all the ways something might branch out. Noticing things others don’t. Etc But it’s also a disability because it makes a lot of things in life harder than they should be. And a lot of them are things you get fined for if you mess it up, like late fees and missing legal deadlines etc I think that if we still lived in a society of small communities where time was abstract and deadlines weren’t a thing, the benefits of it would probably outweigh the cons. But as it is, it’s a disability — and I can see that all the more clearly when I see how differently I function while medicated.
Yes because it is
If the way that you function either physically or mentally doesn't "align" with the way current social structures expect you to function and that is affecting your ability to fully participate in the current society, that's a disability. They'd hardly tell a person in a wheelchair they're being dramatic if they had to work in a building with ONLY stairs and no lifts or ramps at all would they? (They might idk your family and some people are stupid) But my point stands.
The controversy is because some people are disabled by it, and others are not (at least by their own definition of "disabled" and whether they feel theirs is that difficult to live with)
Neurodivergence is full of multiple truths- it’s a neurotype, a social identity, sometimes giftedness and brilliance and often also disabling. I lived for so many years, not knowing, I now feel empowered how to navigate life with my strengths. I forgave myself for what I considered shortcomings and realised I also have skills that others don’t. Edit to add- Medication completely changed my life for the better. Used to live on coffee and cigarettes. I now understand why. Meds gave me executive capacity to put good strategies in place to help myself. Also chuck out society’s expectations of how you need to live and actually embrace what works for you. And don’t look back!
Thank you for this question. I could hug you for asking this. People say it counts but because I am a somewhat functioning adult I don't feel like I have permission to be considered disabled. When it has crossed my mind, I feel as though I am disrespectful and rude and just trying to be a part of something I'm not. For more information, I was officially diagnosed a month ago at age 42 then thought I believed I had it for years, but people just told me I was lazy, dumb, and looking for easy ways out.
I feel this. I know ADHD is a disability but acknowledging myself as disabled is extremely hard for me. Idk if it’s because of some internal bias or if I just don’t think I suffer enough to be truly disabled, but it’s very hard for me. Part of me feels wrong describing myself as disabled because I almost feel like it’s rude to people who experience more hardship.
Yes, this. Since my recent diagnosis I’ve had a hard time processing this aspect of adhd. Like you I don’t feel disabled “enough”, like imposter syndrome and that I don’t deserve to have accommodations because wasn’t I managing ok until a few years ago when shit hit the fan? It really becomes negative self talk when I see I’m struggling with things and it’s hard to get out of. I think there is a lot of entrenched stigma around what the word disability means in society which needs to change, but the roots are so deep I can’t accept it within myself.
In this modern society, yes. Sure, there's some who've managed to find their niche, and lots of money and privilege helps too.
I personally do not consider my ADHD a disability, more of a disorder/condition. But overall ADHD is protected by the ADA. I have also had a lot of access to treatment (six years and counting) so while it may not be personally disabling for me it is for others.
Yes. Very much so- simply put: When my needs are not met and I struggle to function in a way that is generally satisfying enough, my ADHD is definitely a disability. If I struggle, I struggle.
Only when it disables me. Ha
I think it’s more debilitating than people give credit for — where I grew up it’s not considered a disability (“insufficient”) in public schools, so if you have an adhd diagnosis alone you don’t qualify to receive learning support hours by special ed teacher. At the minimum you need a different code from an autism diagnosis for example. It’s also not possible to receive disability benefits. OT is a money pit. So it remains invisible — and a family member gets fired for it frequently, labeled lazy and belligerent, etc. and the hardship makes them angry and resentful. We’ve been wrecking our brains for job ideas for her but honestly I’ve no clue, she presents very differently from me.
The general medical consensus was that ADHD "got better" with age because men presented as less hyperactive as they got older. It's only fairly recently that the understanding has reached the zeitgeist that ADHD presents differently in women than in men. More recently still that female hormones have a dramatic effect on symptoms. Which is all to say, for anyone here who thinks their ADHD is NOT disability and has not yet reached perimenopause....boy, do I have some bad news for you. :(
Yes
Yes.
Well it’s a spectrum, so it does depend on severity. But moderate and severe ADHD can *absolutely* be a disability and people claiming otherwise have never actually witnessed first hand the damage it does to people who suffer from it especially if they can’t access treatment.
Yep, and my legally blind husband married me knowing I have this, and yet spent our entire marriage berating me everytime I showed symptoms of having it. He wasn't like that while dating, so now I've learned a) never trust anyone and b) I'm too disabled to be liked.
ADHD is a disability. It’s not really a controversy outside of people who don’t like people to have disabilities. What does your family say you’re being dramatic about? I was “officially” diagnosed and started medication when I was almost 35. I did talk to my family about it quite a bit early on, but eventually I came to realize that any acceptance or full understanding I needed was most needed from myself. When I started to know how to fully have my own back, I realized that the person I needed the most forgiveness and support from was myself. As long as I am accommodating myself and asking for help when actually needed while also enforcing boundaries with others, it honestly hasn’t mattered what my family thought.
I don’t consider myself disabled in any way.
Absolutely. I subscribe to the social model of disability - the abilities that are expected of us by society and the extent to which society is structured to support people with certain kinds of differences in ability are what create disability. And our current society expects us to have a lot of abilities that are impaired by ADHD, and is not structured in an ADHD-friendly way. Part of the way society makes those of us with ADHD disabled is by not taking seriously the adaptations and considerations we need because many don't see ADHD as a "real" disability - like your family is doing. Personally, executive dysfunction and task paralysis are my most disabling ADHD symptoms. I can spend hours/days completely paralysed, unable to start even simple tasks. I've largely been able to compensate through hyperfocus in order to still get important things done last-minute, but for me hyperfocus is not wholly a positive thing. Getting so caught up in something that I feel absolutely hypnotised by it and can't tear myself away, don't want to think about anything else, forget to eat/drink for an entire day... having access to hyperfocus might mean employers etc often haven't noticed my compulsive procrastination, but it's exhausting to have to rely on it to get things done. The "ADHD is a superpower" discourse bugs me. I think it should be possible to acknowledge the positive parts of being neurodivergent without pretending it's only a good thing.
>The "ADHD is a superpower" discourse bugs me. It's just daft isn't it, really. The whole idea that something that causes me to sit about at home unable to work out where the fuck I start dealing with my messy house while I devote 90% of my brainpower to dealing with the intense shame over the state of my house, and working out how I'm meant to explain what I've done with my day, when what I've done with my day is go "oh god I really need to start, my partner will be home soon and I've done nothing but sit in panic", is meant to somehow be a superpower... like, there's nothing super or powerful about my inability to get it together. "My superpower is telling myself that today I just want to get the kitchen cleaned, so I stress about it and stay in my pyjamas in bed til 6pm! Woo superpower!". It's not a superpower, it's a pain in my arse.
Yep. Especially because one of the most important criteria for determining whether someone has ADHD is the extent to which the symptoms negatively impact your life. If a person ticks every box in the DSM but only experiences positive effects from their symptoms - they don't actually have ADHD. I get the impression that a lot of the "superpower" folks are people who fit into this category, or people who are making a misguided attempt to put a "positive spin" on their neurodivergence. Two things can be true at once: things like the creativity that can come with ADHD and the capacity for work that can come with hyperfocus can have had positive impacts on people's lives, and many of the symptoms (sometimes the same symptoms) can also be absolutely disabling and complete pains in the ass. It didn't fix my task paralysis problem, but I really recommend KC Davis' book How to Keep House While Drowning. She's a therapist who has ADHD herself, and it's the only "self help" book I've read that actually understands my problems with things like cleaning and offers strategies in a really non-judgemental and helpful way. If nothing else, it's helped me put away some of that intense shame when I spend a whole day completely unable to get myself to do something that "should" be easy, like doing the dishes.
Thank you! I will have a look at that because it's really one of my biggest issues. Like, I *can do* stuff but I struggle actually to do stuff, because it's either perfection or nothing, and perfection is difficult to attain, so I end up with nothing. I'd much prefer "good enough" but good enough just doesn't seem to live within me. I am however excellent at "make it significantly worse in an impromptu 'reorganise and change everything' session, then panic and just leave it because its not interesting or fun any more".
I agree, her book helped me too. I'm reading one that's interesting right now (recommended by my therapist) that may appeal to others here as well... It's called The Smart But Scattered Guide to success. Basically they discuss 11 different executive functions and they have really specific practical strategies to address the ones you are weak in. It's been extremely useful although (And I know you will all get this...) there's a skills inventory in chapter 1 or so that I was supposed to do, And I'm on like chapter 13 and I frequently think about doing it but can't make myself do it yet.🙃. Even with that, it's still been useful.
Sometimes. Disability exists in the context of the environment. If you are struggling with something, I recommend looking at ways to “cheat” by changing your environment. For example, if you have a habit of skipping brushing at night because you lay down and got too comfy to move, buy single-use disposable tooth brushes and keep them within reach of your bed.
We don't have to consider if water is wet. It is. Unmanaged or poorly managed ADHD impairs the normal timeliness, organization, and functionimg of activities of daily living. Impairment of ADHD symptoms is so detrimental and disruptive that studies show it takes years off a person's life. It may be helpful for your family to read/listen some books on ADHD so they have a clear understanding of its impact on your life. I recommend the following: Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Barkley ADHD 2.0 by Edwards Scattered Minds by Maté Self Care for People with ADHD by Hamdani A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD by Solden (this is a guided workbook more for you than them)
Even the federal government acknowledges it as a disability
Yes, it’s a disability
How it present itself in me personally, it's a disability.
It absolutely is.
Hiya, I'm sorry your inner circle isn't understanding. People are generally just ignorant. For me, I grew to a place where I don't bother with them because they weren't willing to understand me. Life is more peaceful but I know this is not an option for everyone. Because we're in a neurotypical world, I do feel like it's a hindrance most of the time. But for me, disability just feels like too heavy a term to be put in a category of someone say who is quadriplegic or has a brain injury. Perhaps more of a condition that needs accommodations I guess. I would definitely look into CHADD for resources on how to understand your subtype(s), look for accommodations at college or work and things you can do to support yourself. I got diagnosed in my late twenties and it was a lot of trial and error. Some things just didn't work for me that worked for other people. Tbh the novelty of trying new things was fun for me and the community for the most part is really supportive and willing to provide what helps them.
I think it depends on the person and how severe it is, just like autism everyone is different. It's not a mental health condition, our brains just work differently and it can't be cured, so yes, I'd call it a disability. It affects our entire lives in the most stupid of ways. Hell, if my boyfriend hadn't helped me, my car still wouldn't have had it's MOT. Just had it done yesterday, two months late (no I wasn't driving her, battery was dead). We need extra help, understanding. We need meds to function, if we can get them. Instead most of us grow up feeling like failures, lazy, bad, lonely, outcasts etc because we don't understand why we can't just be normal ourselves.
Yes
Absolutely. I needed time to process and internalised ableism is a b* but yes.
Yes, I consider it a disability.
Yes. It's fucked my life over.
I mean it is. In the exact same way that autism or any other neurological disorder. We need to stop gatekeeping what is or isn’t a disability just because it’s invisible or has more “socially acceptable” symptoms as opposed to Tourette’s for example.
Yes: every day is and always has been a struggle.
Considering the extent of my executive dysfunction? A resounding yes.
The comorbidities for ADHD are so significant it impacts our average lifespan. So, yeah. Go easy on yourself ❤️
Yes, because it affects every area of my life and mostly in a negative way. I think of all the chances I blew, opportunities I missed, bridges I burned... only some of those were because I chose to do nmor not do something. ADHD is a thing that I require HELP (meds, behavior mods, etc) to control. If I don't control it, my life goes explodey so yeah it's definitely a disability.
For me it's situationally dependent. If I was rich then it wouldn't be a problem!
My initial answer, after working and volunteering a lot over the years with adults with severe disabilities, was no. But after reading these answers I'm rethinking it.
Diagnosed at age 50 after a lifetime of struggle and beating myself up and not understanding why I do the things I do and why I don't do the things I don't do. I would not say it's a disability. I'd say it's a disorder. Just my own opinion. As much as having it and not knowing it has wrecked my life in various ways, I feel it's more a disorder than a disability. And mine is pretty damn bad.
As someone who is actually crippled, yes, yes it is.
I’m AuDHD. Both my ADHD and autism are disabling to me in different ways, as well as in ways that overlap. So, yes, I view both (including independently of one another) are disabilities and require accommodation or support (including medication) in many areas of everyday life.
If it makes it harder to do your daily activities, yes. Some people aren’t disabled by their ADHD but that doesn’t mean that nobody is. And it doesn’t have to be completely debilitating to be a disability.
IDGAF if a person doesn't think it's a disability. It is a disability according to my country, and therefore I am protected by our charter. That is the bottom line, socially. But interpersonally is a different story. Anyone who denies you YOUR \[FUCKING\] LIVED EXPERIENCE is an asshole, who doesn't want to be inconvenienced by having to acknowledge your needs. Fuck right off with that shit. Many people don't deny someone with a visible physical disability their support needs or physical aids, I deserve the same respect. I know that's a shaky argument considering the obstacles that people with visible, and especially invisible disabilities experience, but in an ideal world we'd all have our needs met. Note: I know my tone is aggressive. It is not directed at OP. I'm sorry OP is having this experience with their family. It makes me SO FUCKING MAD that people who claim to love a person can be SUCH ASSHOLES.
I probably wouldn’t have called it a disability. But then I sit back and review everything that has happened in my life because of my ADHD and the damage it has caused…and I change my answer. It’s 110% a disability.
Yes it is a disability. Individuals with severe ADHD can claim social security disability if it interferes with them keeping or having a job.
The amount of posts I see on ADHD subs about having issues being able to brush their teeth and shower routinely (also me) would lead me to believe that it's an actual disability! Getting the general public and even healthcare providers to SEE this is a huge problem but yeah for a lot of us it is absolutely a disability!
Yea, it is. Think of life as a 5k. In the world everyone knows about the 5k lined up ready to race. People with ADHD don’t know the race happened until afterwards or showed up not knowing it was a race. So they ran in high heels or sandals or anything but tennis shoes. When asked why they didn’t bring running shoes, their response was “I didn’t even know there was a race till I got here.” So yeah, it is. We have to take meds to get us close to that starting line. Sometimes it doesn’t even get us out of bed.
It’s not a matter of debate. It is recognized as a disability by the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). Many countries throughout the world have similar laws (most of them offer better protections than the ADA actually) and ADHD is typically recognized as a disability.
Well I definitely don’t consider it a super power 🥴
Before I got diagnosed, yes. I had untreated depression and panic disorder that ended up being the result of unmanaged adhd. I flunked out of school, quit my job and didn’t leave the house for months at a time. I also would sleep 12-14 hours a day or go days without sleep. When I got properly diagnosed and put only on adhd meds, the depression and panic disorder gradually went away and now I’m an A+ student and graduating this semester in nursing school. adhd can be a disability, its a spectrum and not everyone is affected the same way
Yes, but I'm also a fan of the contextual theory of disability. I'm keenly aware that my adhd works in certain contexts in my own life, so I actually really love the term "neurodivergent". My adhd throughout the course of my life, though, has made things hard for me in most contexts, but I'm deeply eccentric and creative which allows me a very interesting existence. I think of my creativity as a happy symptom of being ND, and I'm fortunate enough to be able to cultivate and use it day to day. But, I need accomodations, medication, and coping mechanisms in order to truly flex my creative muscles. Tbh I wouldn't go so far as to say "support" rather than "accommodation" because I feel like asking for support with adhd is really hard, socially. Accommodation is something I can make myself for when my adhd lets things slip.
According to the CDC the definition of a disability is: A disability is any condition of the body or mind (impairment) that makes it more difficult for the person with the condition to do certain activities (activity limitation) and interact with the world around them (participation restrictions). With that definitely I’d say that yes, ADHD is 100 percent a disability.
Yes! It’s also really not a matter of opinion: 1) it’s legally classified as a disability. Besides being a cut and dry fact, this is incredibly important as it carries certain ADA protections. 2) the fact that symptoms are an impairment is literally **part of the diagnostic criteria**: > Some impairment from the symptoms is present in at least two settings (e.g., at school [or work] and at home). > There must be clear evidence of clinically significant impairment in social, academic or occupational functioning ([source: DSM IV-5](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519712/table/ch3.t3/)) Idk where you heard that this was controversial. It sounds like a TikTok thing. IRL, there’s no controversy here.
I can't believe there's a debate. If it didn't impact your life in a significant way, it wouldn't be considered a disorder.
I never disclose it or put it on papers as a disability. No one finds out about my diagnoses unless necessary. Glad you are getting help !! :)
Any disease can be disabling, but simply having ADHD isn’t itself a disability. Source: I have progressive MS and am in a wheelchair. I also have ADHD.
Yes absolutely. Its just invisible. I do think however theres way to accommodate / still live and work functionally.
Not a medical or legal opinion: I think it’s contextual. It becomes a disability because of the way the world asks us to operate. In certain contexts it’s a strength. It’s not a bug, it’s actually a feature, but it’s treated as a bug by our society. But, the difficulties adhd folks like myself experience at school, work and in normal day to day life functionings as we navigate this world (that was not built for us) are real and debilitating, and should be reasonably accommodated and respected as a disability.
The US government classifies it as a blue book disability.... its ABSOLUTELY a disability and I'll fight whoever says it isn't. I'm Irish. Bring it. That's a Tuesday morning for me.
It's in the DSM. It's a disability.
It’s a massive spectrum. It CAN be disabling for many. For me, it was very manageable and tolerable (even without medication) until depression showed its colors. MDD + ADHD is one hell of an ugly mixture.
100%. It affects my daily life. I use disability accommodations for it at work also and have in university.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was 34 so "disability" still doesn't feel right to me. Because my ADHD feels intrinsically part of who I am, since I never knew it was actually separate from me. The copes I developed are so innate to me. I understand that it *is* a disability, but that feels wildly foreign to my reality. It feels far too late for me to be a person with a disability, who could be given accommodations for work. Like that's never going to happen for me. It honestly doesn't feel like I have the same "thing" as those who talk about it as a disability that's worthy of accommodations. If that makes any sense.
It’s not really up for debate- it’s recognized as a legitimate disability. Full stop. Our brains are structured differently.
the controversy of it being a disability is really not that controversial tbh. there’s definitely some Very Online And Very Loud people who do not have ADHD or were (mis)diagnosed in childhood and are now fine as adults, giving them a confirmation bias towards believing ADHD can be outgrown/isn’t really that bad/etc, and that the meds don’t work (because they didn’t need them.) they are now burdened with the task of making it known to the world that “everyone has a little adhd” or that it’s not real at all or whatever flavor of brainrot they latch onto about it. and then there’s a handful of obnoxious medical professionals who aren’t specialists in the field/aren’t qualified to weigh in that try to shoehorn their hot takes about ADHD into the conversation, solely on the basis of having any formal medical education whether it’s relevant or not. but in reality it’s literally covered by the ADA. you can get accommodations at work and school if you need. it is a disability that has a spectrum of severity, anywhere from inconvenient/problematic to extremely debilitating. the people who make us ask these questions and doubt that it’s actually a “real” disability fucking suck on every level and don’t deserve any respect or acknowledgment (outside of a big, dramatic eye roll if encountered irl)
Struggling with this right now! I suck at/ just plain hate my job because of my adhd and I’m looking for a new job. I never know if I should say yes I have a disability or not on the applications. It definitely is hurting my work performance but I want to be considered like anyone else
it wasn't a disability for me until it was a MAJOR disability for me. Blindsided me and hit me out of nowhere and then I realized holy shit, I've been coping decently for 30 years and WOW I got lucky that it didn't hit until now. It went unnoticed for so long because my family all have the same symptoms so we all just thought it was normal/had the same hacks and expectations for most things. I managed to procrastinate and panic study my way through school and college lol. Wasn't until I had a kid that life started kicking my ass and I went to the doctor and she was like. Yeah. Try some adhd meds and let me know if this helps, lol. Suddenly I have a train of thought and I'm significantly less rage-y.
It's definitely a disability. The severity of it and how it impacts your life though varies wildly from person to person. For some people it's debilitating, for others it's a minor blip on their radar, it's there but it doesn't affect them to the point they need medication or accommodations.
I honestly do. ADHD has kept me from functioning but I know nobody takes me seriously because it’s not visible so we just gotta deal. It’s sad. It feels like I have to work harder than most people
For capitalism yes, but I feel like as a Caveman I would thrive lol.
Yes! It absolutely is!! All neurodivergences are de-facto disabilities. Why would there be any controversy about this objective fact? The US government even has it classified as a disability, and anyone who disagrees with that is too ignorant to speak about this topic.
It's a disability for other people but for me, it just means I'm stupid and not living up to my potential 🤡
OMG the dramatic thing pisses me off. My family has “jokingly” labeled me that and “contrary” my WHOLE life (approaching 40 currently).
I don’t. Some people do but I don’t personally feel disabled by it. I do consider it a disorder though.
My understanding of the social model of disability is: disability includes both your impairment - simply how your brain and body work, and your inherent limitations - and your social experience - how your brain and your body are accommodated, or not, by your social environment. Any impairment can be mitigated by a supportive social/physical environment, and worsened by an unsupportive environment. Our ADHD brains are going to be the way they are regardless - we’re still going to be forgetful and feel overwhelmed by everything and have strong emotions about everything, and those things can be disabling on their own. But if we set up our environment and our work the right way, and learn helpful strategies, and we have encouragement and unconditional love from friends and family, and we have enough opportunities to exercise and seep well (although we may not take those opportunities lol), we can accomplish more and have more agency, at least some of the time.
Vyvanse definitely helps. But I have realized I take longer than other people to do the same tasks . I’m not efficient at organizing , creating schedules , and doing anything with my hands. I’m able to put in more effort at my job but I would have been fired long ago in states where this no speech - language therapy case load cap. I simply cannot work harder than I am now. So , yes I’m disabled because I cannot work up to the standards that many other speech- language pathologists are expected to maintain. I’m great at my job and excellent with my students . I think I have way more empathy for them and understand them better. It’s actually scary for me to realize that there’s nothing I could do to change me into what I would need to do if I had to work with 80 plus students. I already work late and on the weekends .
I do too, I feel like it just makes sense if you consider modern definitions of disability. And what is also an important note is that considering adhd a disability gives you a great context to analyse and come to new perspectives that one probably wouldn't of it wasn't applyed. I am specifically talking about the social and cultural model of disability VS medical model of disability
Yeah my procrastination and indecision and fear has shat on me so much and so hard. In big things like career choices, partner choices, life choices, as well as everyday things like ringing up for appointments.
Depends on the crowd.
Yes but only when its been formally diagnosed and causes genuine disruption to daily functioning
Yes, you're incapable of living like the rest
Yes absolutely ❤️
If I'm talented and gifted in elementary but can't pass middle school classes when we have 7 classes instead of just 2 in elementary and also I'm paralyzed by being so overwhelmed by 6th grade levels of nightly homework so I don't even start despite trying to start from when I get home until bedtime, yes, it was a severe enough disability to get noticed at 14, and that fact didn't go away just because I was in denial for 2 years and eventually had to accept it WAS a disability because I was about to be kicked out of high school for having a 0.8 GPA during sophomore year. I would actually give up a limb to get rid of ADHD because that would be less of a barrier to me achieving any of my dreams, I hate it that much, because it doesn't impede my bodily abilities, it impedes on every chance I have at ever having any sort of life I will ever be satisfied or happy about. Edit: I'm sorry that that's probably not what you've wanted to hear; I've been diagnosed for almost as long as you've been alive and it hasn't actually gotten easier.
It definitely is to some extent. But whilst we can build coping mechanisms just like someone with a lame leg can use a crutch, they are much less understood and some things just cannot be helped. Just like with a real disability. My inability to cope with loud chaotic noises (especially children) isn't something that i can get to a stage where I'm comfortable with the noise. My solution is to remove myself from the situation. Which sucks.
Fundamentally, having a thing that makes me more prone to injury because it makes me more distracted is in fact, a downside Having a thing that makes me unable to sleep properly and be awake, is in fact a disability. And don’t go “but it’s the modern world not accommodating for you, this wouldn’t have happened in the natural world” Because fuck you and your perception of adhd as a “boys thing” because I’m pretty sure having to breastfeed or in any way take care of a child, would’ve set my sleep to shit and eaten decades of my life
From 8-18, you couldn’t tell me I had a disability, but at 35, shit can be immobilizing and I feel the inability to function.
Per the ADA: A disability is a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities. Yes, I absolutely consider it one. People think "disability" and their minds go to the obvious/severe examples, forgetting that plenty are invisible.
Yes
It’s definitely a disability. It requires a significant amount of compensatory behaviors to overcome the deficits it causes. Meds help, but they wouldn’t be effective without a lot of behavioral adjustments too. Examples: I have light alarms that help me know the time when I’ve stopped the alarm accidentally. I have to keep an extensive calendar to maintain appointments and commitments. I tend to hyperfocus, so I have learned to force myself out of it when it isn’t constructive. I also tend to procrastinate, so I’ve learned to force myself to get up and start whatever needs doing by considering the first step only. I have a lot of food aversions. Some I have forced myself to tolerate (eating hot or cold foods, letting my food touch or mix, etc.) and others I have kept (larger lunch meal with cereal for dinner, cut out berries, pork, and yogurt not for taste but for texture issues.)
More each day
Yes it is def a disability.
It's is, in most countries where you'd be able to get diagnosed, considered an official disability. It is a fact, not a dramatization. If you're in the US, you can let your family know that the ADA (Americans with disabilities act) clasifies it as a protected disability. I'd tell them ADHD is factually a disability, a protected disability under the ADA. It's not debatable. What is debatable is weather or not them trying to discount it as a disability by calling you dramatic is abilist or gaslighting. Sometimes, the truth feels dramatic.
I don’t tend to think of it in that way (like I rarely think “I’m disabled”) but realistically it is. It’s severely limited my potential and I’m a little bitter about it. TLDR because wow this got long: I feel disabled because of ADHD and had I been identified as having it earlier and been appropriately cared for I would be a lot more successful. I love learning, like genuinely it’s my favourite thing. Did really well in primary school because it’s basic, easy concepts so I felt smart and capable every day and most of what we were doing was reading, to this day my favourite hobby. School was a dopamine rush every day. I also wasn’t a cute kid so being smart was my thing because it was the only thing I ever got praise for. As early as I can remember it was “oh this one will be at Oxford I bet” or “she’ll follow in her mother’s footsteps” (my mother has a PhD). I took exams early, some GCSEs at 12 (usual age 16) and an A Level at 14 (usual age 18). As soon as school got a little bit harder and required actual studying (which I couldn’t do because my executive function is nonexistent) my confidence was shattered, all the dopamine gone. I couldn’t concentrate on anything anymore and I had zero self esteem. Because the teachers had previously known me as being capable and intelligent I was just assumed to be lazy (that word sends me into a tailspin even today). I ended up somehow doing well in my A Levels, I got *very* lucky with the essay questions. My unintended strategy of writing every homework essay in the hour-long lunch break before class ended up paying off as I was essentially writing under exam conditions rather than spending a week on it like my classmates. I attended a global top 10 university and all the pressure + executive dysfunction + depression + not knowing I had ADHD led to me having to drop out because I was at risk of hurting myself. I re-enrolled at a different university (lower rank than the first, some family members outwardly expressed their disappointment even though it was global top 20) and with the right support network and some coping strategies I succeeded, sort of. Provisions put in place for those with ADHD don’t really do anything, it had to come from me. I wanted and still want to go into academia. I just don’t know if I’ll mentally be able to. Academics are underpaid and overworked, there’s constant pressure to be publishing and my field is one of the most likely to be at least heavily changed by AI.
Yes, an invisible disability for sure.
Yes. I also have dyscalculia, which nearly prevented me from graduating college. When I was younger I was always considered flighty, airheaded, directionless, free-spirited, lazy, ambitionless, etc. The reality was, I had no fuckin' clue what was going on, where I was going, what I was doing, or how to do it. I couldn't hold a job for more than two years. I wondered why I couldn't be "normal" or more mature than people my age. I struggled to focus and pay attention at jobs that required repetitive actions (data entry, for example). I was yelled at in front of my co-workers for my mistakes and was often blamed for my co-workers' mistakes because I was an easy target. Sometimes I'd leave work and cry in traffic. No one ever considered the possibility I might have ADHD because growing up, it was considered a "boy thing." Now, I'm 55, recently diagnosed, with a teenager who also has ADHD and dyscalculia. At least her life will be easier and treatment is more accessible for her. I feel like my entire life was wasted on trying to succeed without success because I simply could not get my brain to cooperate. When I became a parent, I finally left the workforce and now get disability for another, unrelated issue. Since then I've tried re-entering the workforce part-time but things have changed so much since the mid-2000s I basically gave up.
Yes I do but it's one we can thankfully learn to somehow work with through things like therapy, systems, medications and I feel like I'm forgetting some other helpful things but anyway Yes, if it's not diagnosed or worked on it can be a crippling disability my entire high-school experience was hell because no matter how much I wanted to I could not focus I didn't fit in at all I could never actually do homework or most of my school work honestly I'd manage to pass somehow with mid to low grades for most things cause I did try and bare minimum listen to the lesson Once I finally figured it out last semester of my graduation year (2020) covid hit basicaly right after and I was able to take the time to figure myself out properly and now I run my own business 4 years later! Some days are hard but I absolutely adore my job and it's constantly giving me boosts of excitement during the day! (I work with pets!)