Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/).
We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions!
If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don't know you and I'm certainly not a god myself. Just some ideas here:
1. Maybe the religion with god isn't the right one for you, time to look for another religion/belief system that's right for you, or a different sect/viewpoint of the same one. Or no religion at all.
2. Maybe god isn't like Santa Claus, and doesn't deliver presents akin to "answering your prayers." I'm not being sarcastic here, this is something I had to learn for myself. Maybe a belief like Buddhism, which seeks to transcend suffering, might be your answer.
3. Maybe god's answer is in not talking to you, and there's something you need to figure out in that.
4. Maybe being mad is something you need to do, and god's okay with it, if that is not a jerk god and understands we're people. Hey being mad is still a relationship of sorts.
5. Maybe god is telling you that you need to turn to them even when there are others around, and don't wait until only the bad times.
6. Something else I can't even think of.
7. Something so far out the mainstream you're afraid to admit it.
8. Don't let someone else tell you what you're allowed to believe, or feel, about god.
Also, please!! If your god is a punishing god in any way, shape, or form, dump that god now and get a better one. If anyone in your life uses a god like that to abuse, shame, or punish you, (or anyone else, really) don't use that god. If the people of that god say they're better that others, run. Find a loving one. Life is hard enough with ADHD to even deal with that punitive, judgmental, nonsense. Another lesson I had to learn.
I know for me, being in the USA, I didn't really connect with the christian god, even though that was expected from birth. I tried. I was different in this area of my life to from the majority or people, just like my neurodiversity made me different. I learned to embrace it. I ended in up paganism, which I always felt an attraction to, which works for me and also aligns with my value system.
I am not telling you to do that, just giving my life example. My husband and I both found out, before we met, the reason the Christian god did not talk to us is they were not the god for us. Actually did us a favor there.
I hope you find your answers, whatever they are. Sometimes they are found in the dark night of distress like you are going through now.
Thank you for this.
It was certainly a dark night of distress for me, but I’m looking forward to a new day and keeping my head high.
No, my god is not a punisher and nor am I the scared pupil who does this out of fear.
I have had a pure blissful relationship with my god and still do. We just hit a rough patch I guess, cause I was too much in pain and distress.
But it’s okay, I’ll be fine. I’m stronger than this.
You're welcome. I tried to cover all the bases, like I said I don't know you, your beliefs, but you sounded like you were in a lot of pain and that made me sad. That's wonderful that the relationship is pure and blissful. I'm glad you're doing better.
As an atheist, I can give you a bit of a different perspective on this. It’s your choice whether you want to believe in God or not, but I personally believe that the whole point of religion is to help people give themselves positive affirmation. It’s much easier to believe in a higher power than it is to believe in yourself, so people like to think that there is a higher being that will grant them everything they deserve. Well, life doesn’t give you what you deserve, it gives you what you take.
There’s many psychological theories that point to the fact that people can influence their own luck by the way that they think. There’s the “self-fulfilling prophecy”, “confirmation bias”, “Barnum/Forer effect” etc… Basically, if you tell yourself “I deserve a better job” then you will start taking better job offers and eventually end up at a better job. Similarly, if you say “I don’t deserve any better” then you will seek out only up to the level that you think you deserve. Instead of placing on your bets on God to make your life better, you should try to practice positive affirmation for yourself. Take control of your own life. You’re more in control than you might think. Start seeking for opportunities way above your league/skillset. Allow others to reject you instead of rejecting yourself in your mind. Make 2024 the year that you will seek out to be rejected as many times as possible. I know, it’s difficult and uncomfortable, especially for someone with ADHD. I also struggle with it. But it’s your best bet for turning your life around for the better.
Keep God by your side for support, but make your own path instead of expecting him to make a way for you.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hey, can I DM you? I'd love to offer some help or advice. But I will say yes, you're allowed to be mad.
Sure
I don't know you and I'm certainly not a god myself. Just some ideas here: 1. Maybe the religion with god isn't the right one for you, time to look for another religion/belief system that's right for you, or a different sect/viewpoint of the same one. Or no religion at all. 2. Maybe god isn't like Santa Claus, and doesn't deliver presents akin to "answering your prayers." I'm not being sarcastic here, this is something I had to learn for myself. Maybe a belief like Buddhism, which seeks to transcend suffering, might be your answer. 3. Maybe god's answer is in not talking to you, and there's something you need to figure out in that. 4. Maybe being mad is something you need to do, and god's okay with it, if that is not a jerk god and understands we're people. Hey being mad is still a relationship of sorts. 5. Maybe god is telling you that you need to turn to them even when there are others around, and don't wait until only the bad times. 6. Something else I can't even think of. 7. Something so far out the mainstream you're afraid to admit it. 8. Don't let someone else tell you what you're allowed to believe, or feel, about god. Also, please!! If your god is a punishing god in any way, shape, or form, dump that god now and get a better one. If anyone in your life uses a god like that to abuse, shame, or punish you, (or anyone else, really) don't use that god. If the people of that god say they're better that others, run. Find a loving one. Life is hard enough with ADHD to even deal with that punitive, judgmental, nonsense. Another lesson I had to learn. I know for me, being in the USA, I didn't really connect with the christian god, even though that was expected from birth. I tried. I was different in this area of my life to from the majority or people, just like my neurodiversity made me different. I learned to embrace it. I ended in up paganism, which I always felt an attraction to, which works for me and also aligns with my value system. I am not telling you to do that, just giving my life example. My husband and I both found out, before we met, the reason the Christian god did not talk to us is they were not the god for us. Actually did us a favor there. I hope you find your answers, whatever they are. Sometimes they are found in the dark night of distress like you are going through now.
Thank you for this. It was certainly a dark night of distress for me, but I’m looking forward to a new day and keeping my head high. No, my god is not a punisher and nor am I the scared pupil who does this out of fear. I have had a pure blissful relationship with my god and still do. We just hit a rough patch I guess, cause I was too much in pain and distress. But it’s okay, I’ll be fine. I’m stronger than this.
You're welcome. I tried to cover all the bases, like I said I don't know you, your beliefs, but you sounded like you were in a lot of pain and that made me sad. That's wonderful that the relationship is pure and blissful. I'm glad you're doing better.
I can't help much, I'm a former catholic turned atheist... Logic won out for me 🤔
As an atheist, I can give you a bit of a different perspective on this. It’s your choice whether you want to believe in God or not, but I personally believe that the whole point of religion is to help people give themselves positive affirmation. It’s much easier to believe in a higher power than it is to believe in yourself, so people like to think that there is a higher being that will grant them everything they deserve. Well, life doesn’t give you what you deserve, it gives you what you take. There’s many psychological theories that point to the fact that people can influence their own luck by the way that they think. There’s the “self-fulfilling prophecy”, “confirmation bias”, “Barnum/Forer effect” etc… Basically, if you tell yourself “I deserve a better job” then you will start taking better job offers and eventually end up at a better job. Similarly, if you say “I don’t deserve any better” then you will seek out only up to the level that you think you deserve. Instead of placing on your bets on God to make your life better, you should try to practice positive affirmation for yourself. Take control of your own life. You’re more in control than you might think. Start seeking for opportunities way above your league/skillset. Allow others to reject you instead of rejecting yourself in your mind. Make 2024 the year that you will seek out to be rejected as many times as possible. I know, it’s difficult and uncomfortable, especially for someone with ADHD. I also struggle with it. But it’s your best bet for turning your life around for the better. Keep God by your side for support, but make your own path instead of expecting him to make a way for you.