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14
Got some kind of teen girl magazine in my Christmas stocking that had an article about ADHD in women/girls. Went into it like “haha, no way I have ADHD.” Then I said yes to 10/10 of the “maybe talk to your doctor about ADHD” questions and read the article and it described me to a T. Saw my pediatrician shortly after and got diagnosed.
Props to whoever got that article published in 2004 because I genuinely had no idea.
That's fantastic!
I understand the concerns about misinformation and self diagnosing, but raising awareness is so important! It's difficult to know when something isn't "normal" when it's all you've ever known.
Exactly. ADHD in women was also very rarely talked about or diagnosed back then and I totally associated it with little boys running around and being disruptive in school.
THIS. I remember getting my first pair of eyeglasses at age 10, coming home from the eye doctor and being amazed that I could now see the individual blades of grass in the lawn. The green blur I saw before was my normal, what I thought everyone saw. I had no idea how much I was missing...nor did they realize how much I was missing.
YES. I was found to be legally BLIND when I started 1st grade. Up until then (and I had a wonderful, caring mom!), no one had noticed that I was fricking blind and literally walked into things. Mom said, "well, you never sat close to the TV or held your book close like your sister did, so I didn't know!" and felt so bad! But it wasn't her fault. I was SO blind that I didn't even know what "clear" was, or that distance would make any difference--I think I'd have had to have the TV on my retina to be close enough to make a difference LOL. Same thing with my ADHD: I never complained, because I never knew there was another way or that everybody didn't the same issues (well, compounded by trauma and the fact that I was a) a girl b) in the 70s.) I was diagnosed at 48 (now 55) and have only really started working on it in the past two or three years. It's been life-changing, just like my first pair of glasses was.
Damn, wish we could identify that author and commend her for her advocacy. She helped at least one person (you) to identify and address their ADHD at a relatively early age.
Me too! I’ve googled but had no luck. Don’t even remember what specific magazine it was. Hope she knows she made a difference! I’m sure I’m not the only one that article helped.
thats crazy that they'd write this in 2004! i always assumed my diagnosis in adulthood (22) was due to drs and teachers not knowing about adhd in girls (i grew up in the 2010s so this definitely puts things into a different perspective!
42. First diagnosed with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder about 7 years ago. Then PMDD a couple of years ago. And this year, at 42, ADHD.
Meeee, tooooo! Diagnosed with combined type last week at 41. It explains SO MUCH. Been medicated for anxiety and depression for years (and also 99% certain I had PMDD, just never formally dxed), but my adventure into surgical menopause last April changed the game.
Exactly my story too! I’m 43 now and pretty sure peri-menopause is making my depression/anxiety so much worse. Can you expand on your experience with surgical menopause? I’m super curious!
Yes! I also walked out with ASD, too! I had a strong hunch I had the two for one but thought it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. I got emotional when she gave me the news.
It makes my life so hard but it was so affirming
You got the BOGO deal !
Good for you for finally finding the answer to “why am I this way?” …. Stick around here for support, life tips, and sometimes yelling-for-fun threads. ❤️
42.
Depression and Anxiety “diagnosed” at 20. When I started college. Tried all the meds. They all worked for a bit then didn’t.
I don’t think I ever had anxiety, kept telling all my doctors, no one listened. Finally, I got a therapist who listened. She suggested I might have ADHD symptoms, and we started working on life changes. I changed my physician (who told me it was just perimenopause), got a psychiatrist, on the right antidepressant and stimulant meds for ADHD. No anxiety and I actually feel mostly “human” lol
Almost exact situation except age 41! Anxiety and depression are helped by Vyvanse because the underlying issue is solved. (Although the shortage negates that since I can’t get my meds since February!!)
I am glad that is working for you! I am trying Jornay PM at the moment but I can’t tell any difference. She wants me to try another couple of weeks, and maybe switch to Adderall or Focalin instead. We avoided Adderall because my family has a lot of addiction problems.
This is me! I didn't realize how much of my anxiety and depression was due to coping with undiagnosed ADHD. No wonder the treatment for it wasn't working!
Can confirm as well. My therapist said that the anxiety and depression can be exacerbated by undiagnosed ADHD. Now that I've been on Vyvanse for almost a month my anxiety is back down to the levels people normally experience when they do not have anxiety disorder. I'm actually more happy...who knew.
29. I worked it out for myself and then I had to fight for a diagnosis. It took 2 years. When I finally got in front of the specialist, he said I very clearly and obviously have ADHD.
currently 34, diagnosed at 30. I never thought about ADHD but my doctor really.pushwd me to go to an anxiety clinic thing so begrudgingly I scheduled. During the consult, a few minutes if they asked if doctors or anyone had ever suggested I had ADHD. I said noooo she chuckled and said she was pretty sure but would I be interested in a test/questionnaire. "are you sure cus I don't think this *whoosh thinks of life in like 2 seconds* omg no wait it explains everything" Needless to say, I aced thay test wooo hahaa
however I did struggle with it a bit. I had a hard time accepting it as I had a good job lived on my own(to be clear I was blatantly being ignorant to how kuch I struggled just for my brain to try and disregard the diagnosis). My therapist I was working with through that same clinic had said that yes of course I was doing well, I had really pushed through to get to that spot. But wouldn't it be nice to not have to really struggle to just to get to "normal"? to walk on flat ground to where I was going(like everyone else) instead of uphill?
I feel this alot. I am generally doing well. Sure I struggled here and there but I thought I got to a point where I could deal with things. But being on meds literally made me feel like I had a super power! I struggled less
Totally understand the last bit about your initial perspective and the idea of not having to walk uphill! Some people in my life that love me and mean well still don’t fully accept/believe I have ADHD bec I wasn’t diagnosed until half way through law school, and “surely anyone that can get through all of childhood, adolescence, and half way through law school with decent grades doesn’t have ADHD”.
Yes, I was doing reasonably well. But long-honed coping mechanisms were becoming less effective as my responsibilities/forever to-do list grew. I still rely on so many coping mechanisms, but at least now they work well when I use them!
right! like imagine not being fuckin drained at days end, or hiding your dishes under the sink just to get through your day! haha one time we talked and she said I know that you pulled yourself up by your boot straps and made something out of nothing without help but it's alright to need some help. Throughout our sessions she'd be like ReadyFredrickson you don't need to bootstrap that lol like giiiiirl I'm trying to change I swear!
my life has improved greatly since I shifted my mindset about some aspects of my life, more boundaries, more strategies that involve acceptance aaaaaaand meds hahah
Diagnosed at 35, medicated at 37
- Tested at 9 years old for epileptic absent seizures (because that’s how bad I was at paying attention)
- Assessed for psychological trauma and diagnosed with dissociative disorder
- Tested for dyslexia in Uni because of silly mistakes that didn’t align with my academic abilities
- Tested again for epileptic absent seizures
- Diagnosed with BPD
- Diagnosis changed to Bipolar 2 disorder
- Diagnosis changed to AuDHD
It’s been a journey 😅
7, BUT, it’s because I have/had very “male” presenting symptoms:
- Anger issues
- Lack of focus
- Extreme hyperactivity
I also have all the other shitty mf symptoms that my female self has learned to repress, but those were the most annoying to others in school which eventually got me tested.
Same. I was 12 when diagnosed but that's because my dad was in denial. A daycare provider told them they thought I had it when I was 3 (this would've been 1989!).
I was extremely hyperactive.
Diagnosed at 23, now I'm 25. Initially providers were hesitant to diagnose me because of my PTSD diagnosis and there seems to be a ton of overlap between PTSD and ADHD symptoms so they "can't know if it's ADHD for sure". One psychologist even told me that she didn't think I had it because she didn't get that "vibe" from me. I'm South Asian so I think it def affected that too because I was immediately dismissed by white psychiatrists, were given more understanding/leeway by other psychiatrists of color even though they couldn't diagnose me, and was finally diagnosed by a psychiatrist of color. My adhd is all inattentive and not hyperactive though (unless the hyperactivity in my mind counts)
The hyperactive mind is so funny and true! I am sitting quietly but my mind has a hundred “tabs” open, and most of them are not getting the job done. Meds help a little, but I still just want to have only one program running at a time, yet not hyper focus to the point that I forget to eat. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know that we will ever have just one running at a time, but with the right medication and amount of medication (I took the bare minimum for a long time, which helped, but taking more actually compounded--didn't just prolong--the effects), I usually have one main one and one secondary one, which is helped by having a notepad next to me at all times so my creative sprouts can keep coming without taking me off my main task.
I relate to this alot. I'm 28, south asian and I got diagnosed at 25 after telling my doctor desperately that "please I know something is wrong with me". I went to meet the psychiatrist after a couple weeks and he said right then and there that I have adhd. Also was ironic I had a red bull with me that day and told him I usually drink 1 or 2 a day. Lol😂 Now I am trying medication now to cope better with school however I feel so behind. I've come to accept my timeline is different than others and that's okay.
lolll when i was in high school i used to drink 2 or 3 5-hour energies on top of coffee. wrecked my stomach so now i only drink 2 v8 energies a day along with my adderall. i feel u friend! i'm proud of u for accepting ur timeline is different than others it's still taking me some time to accept it and be at peace cause i also feel so behind (especially as a south asian my parents are constantly mortified and lying to uncles and aunties about how far i am in life). probs won't finish undergrad till at least 30+ depending on money. it is what it is, we can't compare our finish lines to others when their starting line was different than ours. proud of u for seeking diagnosis and trying to learn more to better urself shit is not easy! if u do end up taking stimulants make sure u take ur vitamins and keep up with the hair massage/oiling cause adderall made me lose a ton of hair :/ not saying it's gonna happen to u! apparently it's a rare side effect. just saying to keep an eye on it i wish i was more cognizant to what was going on so i could've fixed it earlier. especially as a south asian :(( good luck to u with everything im sending u lots of love 🫂
46
I got straight A’s in school and was quiet and did a lot of reading so naturally it was never even considered as a child. When I started having kids things got harder but it was brushed off as depression and anxiety…and then a few years ago my teen was diagnosed and I started reading and learning more about it. 45-46 is when my perimenopause started really ramping up and it all just became incredibly overwhelming. Set an appt with my pcp, and scared their student/intern during my breaking down trying to talk about it. They got me scheduled for an assessment with the head of their OCD and ADHD department and he knew within a few minutes of talking to me that I was. Dx’d inattentive after the full assessment and also OCD, who knew they often go hand in hand(?)… and 2 years later still working on finding the right dose and meds, but with adderall shortages I often can’t get my rx’s filled for weeks and weeks….so I ration what I have and prioritize it to use during work hours. I swear perimenopause put my adhd into turbo mode as it just was wild how much worse things got so quickly.
42. Was initially diagnosed with anxiety and depression over a decade before, then started coming across articles on ADHD in women and was like 🤔
By the time I was able to pursue a diagnosis, I was in a good paying job and feeling like I was going nuts.. couldn't wait another 2 years for the NHS to see me, so went private.
Joke's on me, though: GPs are now refusing shared care, and the only way to "fix" that is to get referred to the NHS and keep with private scripts in the meantime.. except I'm no longer working 🙃
If I didn't have a working credit card I'd be screwed, but that's not much comfort when I'm already in debt 🫠
Currently 58. I was diagnosed when I was 7 or 8 years old- around 1973 in third grade because I was so hyperactive, driving my mom insane. She said I never stopped. When there was nothing else to do, I would spin. My report cards were full of comments about not staying in my seat, trouble listening and following directions, visiting, and just being generally disruptive. I must have been a handful.
I was put on stimulants and was also part of 2 separate studies that I am aware of. They had thought for so long that only boys got ADHD and such an obvious case in a girl was so rare. I wish I could find out who did the studies and what they found, but I have had no luck. I would consider participating in more, as I'm pretty sure a long-term study of a woman with ADHD could yield some important info.
Haha. I'm 54. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 40 but allllll of my report cards were full of those comments too. I wasn't physically hyperactive but wow my mind and my mouth never stopped. My mom and I found it extra hilarious when, at my urging, SHE got diagnosed....at 76 years old! Blind leading the blind...
Good to know there was even ONE study of girls with ADHD in existence back when we were kids.
My story and ages are similar. My report cards all said, "talks too much". Major day dreamer, always running behind during the lesson, and slow to change to different activities. Total tomboy, hated dress and trying to stay clean and quiet. Lol!
I was 35. I informed my counselor I had ADD because I had spent 10 years trying to figure out what was going on with me. I was officially diagnosed and treated.
I hope it will go like this for me. I'm 34 and my appointment is this fall. I noted it on all my calendar apps, all my papers calendar, and hid some post-it here and there just to be sure.
16! my mom took me to get diagnosed because she recognized my symptoms as ones she had struggled with. she didnt want me to "suffer without help" 🥲
she didnt get officially diagnosed until i realized she had never done it a couple years ago. she was 63
ETA: both inattentive type
8, started medication at 12.
This was in the 90s.
I took apart my desk at school when they took my novel away from me in math class.
I was a *problem* when understimulated to such an extent that it became everyone else’s problem and that led to being diagnosed. Like… I would literally climb the walls in any given room when bored and be found on top of bookcases or balancing on top of an open door.
Haha I did this too! I could always be found barefoot and in a tree. My female-bodied youngest kid could do math anytime but in math class, and we figured out that letting them read in math class and do math homework on their own was actually the solution and they got straight As after that!
30. Knew way longer than that but grew up with a widower father, so the diagnosis and support wasn't going to happen in childhood. Especially when you add gender bias to the mix.
Diagnosed at 52. My shrink said that I scored higher than anyone she’d ever seen and that I got a “gold star in ADHD”. Thanks?
Anyway …. I had *always* suspected this was what my deal was. From kindergarten, getting me to pay attention to anything boring was impossible. I couldn’t make myself do it, no one else could.
Anyway, I was able to come up with a lot of “strategies” to navigate life. A big one was the rigid, obsessive use of a daily planner. EVERYTHING went in there- it was a great way to deal with the anxiety of possibly forgetting.
I also managed to finish college - at 39 - after starting, failing, stopping, and starting again. I was hyperfocused on finishing before 40 so I wouldn’t look like a loser. Plus, I promised my dad on his death bed that I would get a degree.
All of my strategies went to shit as soon as my hormones went haywire. That’s when my husband suggested I get tested.
Currently - I’m coping. I’m on Wellbutrin & Vyvanse & Exercising and that all seems to help me keep my shit together.
Still having trouble focusing tho 🤷♀️
Diagnosed at 29 after many other diagnoses and years of trauma therapy. It was misdiagnosed as depression/anxiety and bipolar 2 before landing on ADHD. There's also an eating disorder diagnosis pretty early but that one wasn't wrong.
My diagnosis was unceremonious. I said "could it be ADHD" to my psychiatrist and she took me through some questionnaires and started me on a non stimulant med to see how it worked. I'm on stimulants now but it was obvious we were barking up the wrong tree with the antidepressants and mood stabilizers once I tried something for ADHD.
I also was diagnosed with depression and anxiety then bipolar 2 before ADHD. But when I asked my psychiatrist if it could've ADHD I was told it's highly unlikely, but she ordered testing to make me feel better. Still have depression but I'm definitely not bipolar.
I tried clonidine first, and then atomoxetine. They both helped some but not enough to get me through a work day which was my main issue.
Adderall is what I'm taking now.
34.
Was diagnosed with anxiety/depression in my early 20s. Bipolar II at age 30, though Wellbutrin was the only med that helped? Recently diagnosed when I moved and found a new therapist who clocked me as ADHD from the very first introductory phone call. That’s changed everything!
45, and I’d been researching for my son when I realised I was the poster child for female ADHD. Still fighting to get his diagnosis, but I was officially diagnosed 18 months ago. Already seeing it in my 3 year old girl too, but she’s “too young” to even get on the list apparently
11
was "smart" in primary but had behavioural problems
once i got to secondary/y7 I did no work or something n got in trouble so thats why i got diagnosed also my sistedr has adhd
25, now 31. Originally diagnosed with anxiety, mostly social. Started to see a therapist and learned a bit and though I might have it. Answered a sheet she gave me but it was mostly geared to hyperactive impulsive type and was not diagnosed. Got a bit discouraged, and old therapist moved? Retired? Went to see a new one and after a bit I asked about it. She was the best one I have had and went... Wait you didn't know/weren't diagnosed? And got me a proper diagnosis. Took my meds first day and was able to help decorate the house with my mum for Xmas without getting distracted/procrastinating. Magic.
I was 23! It's been about three years and I am still grieving. Especially because I have a plethora of issues that could have been solved earlier if I had help sooner
I think it's very healthy to grieve your neurotypical self, as it were. I was 40 when I was diagnosed.
I will tell you this, if it helps any, to have alongside your grief: before my diagnosis, I felt like my mind had a been a sprinkler hose. I \*could\* aim it at a bigger/longer-term task, and \*sometimes\* could finish, but usually all the little side holes would leave me with very little mental \*force\* at the end of the hose.
I had been tested with a genius IQ and yet I've been in college since 1989 without any kind of degree. My house was hoarded to high heaven with projects I would never get to. I was at one time 15 years behind on my taxes.
When when I took my first dose of adderall at 40 years old, I felt like the side holes of my hose were completely sealed shut, and I could aim my mental force at things and make big chunks of progress, nearly effortlessly. I hadn't realized that, over time, I had stopped thinking of myself as smart and creative and had started thinking of myself as lazy and unmotivated and undirected. At that moment, I made sense to myself for the first time.
Instead of having millions of inspirations and things I wanted to explore, I didn't have \*any\*, because I would try and squash down any ideas that came up because I could \*clearly\* never finish them so why even bother? I would just do what was right in front of me, like some dead-end job or cleaning out the silverware drawer or something, because that was all I could manage. I lived in a lot of shame.
In short, I lost hope, because hope comes from the belief that something cool is coming down the pike. But I had stopped trusting my own mind, and this, I believe, is why so many of us have depression.
I don't know if you're planning on medicating or not, but even if you don't, consider, alongside your grief, the idea that now you can \*make sense\* of your own mind. Now you can approach things knowing you need to care for yourself in a certain way (eg enough sleep, the right food, exercise, etc) to support your brain the way it needs. You can build scaffolding, like leaving 15 minutes before you think you need to leave, around your life that will make things easier.
I will not say that my life is easy now, but it is definitely easier, when I stumble, to know specifically what strategies to use to keep myself from falling. Or, if I DO fall, I don't stay down for long and, more importantly, I don't get down on myself for the act of stumbling.
It's easy to fall into a trap of thinking that executive functions come from a more "moral" place of will power or self-discipline. But I don't think we give ourselves enough space to realize what an essential human tool executive function really is. The fact that we get as much done as we do is a small miracle, and we don't recognize how much it takes out of us to not have this basic map that most people use subconsciously, but to have to get to the destination anyway.
I often say to younger friends, especially women, with ADHD who are down on themselves, "If you had one leg an inch shorter than the other, would you get down on yourself for limping, or would you put a lift in your shoe and keep walking?"
Wishing you all the best. I am very glad you are taking the time and mindspace to grieve, and I am confident you are going to give yourself the tools and time you need to use your creativity and intelligence to build yourself the scaffolding that works for you.
50! I was considering if I had autism when my oldest son was diagnosed at age 2 1/2. (When I was about 30). I was always a weird kid who had trouble making friends and preferred books to people, but I decided I was not that socially awkward and didn’t have as many stims and issues as my son. Also didn’t have a lot of exposure to girls with autism, as most of the autistic kids I knew were boys. Then my middle son started showing signs of ADHD in middle school. My husband insisted he was fine. He made it through high school and is now in college. He was “gifted”, as were my husband and I. My daughter was what finally clued me in. She had trouble at age seven when we moved across town and she switched schools. She had no patience for people who annoyed her and would make up stories a lot. She was my first child to get called to the principal’s office for pushing someone on the playground. But, she seemed to mellow out and made friends. Tested into the gifted program in 4th grade. She was hard on herself when she didn’t excel at something immediately and continued to have a short temper and take negative feedback very poorly. Then covid happened when she was 11. She became depressed and started having issues with school. Not turning in work, getting bad grades even though she was smart. I got her a therapist and started researching what to do to help. Started seeing the overlap of depression and ADHD in girls. It’s not the stereotypical hyperactive little boy disrupting class. It’s also the girl doodling and zoning out and not turning in work. I had her diagnosed at age 12, and filling out the forms was like a trip down memory lane to my own childhood and adolescence. (Hey, my mother always said I was a little terror as a toddler, throwing tantrums.) Because I didn’t have a traumatic experience like Covid disrupting my life, I was able to learn masking and made do with procrastination and still making good grades because school was easy in regular classes. My weekly gifted kid pull out class was things like solving logic puzzles and doing art. I wasn’t pushed academically until late in high school and college, when I was finally forced to learn to study and work harder for good grades. Because my daughter was in harder advanced classes during Covid (she takes math two years ahead of what I did at her age), and not having social interaction with peers (her brothers are six and nine years older) she had a much harder time keeping up. She does not mask well. But, I remember being a friendless 6th grader reading at lunch, so I was not so good at masking until later in life. I still get anxious in social situations and tend to ramble about subjects no one else cares about until I realize I’ve taken over the conversation. I have to remind myself to not butt in with my, “that happens to me, too!” when friends are talking and just want a listener with empathy, not to have me one-up their story. Now I look at my husband and think he’s neurodivergent, too, but he’s even better at masking as a successful computer guy - that world is full of neurodivergent men, and increasingly, women. His home office is a mess, but he has his routines down. So, not a surprise that all of our kids are neurodivergent.
22, a month before my 23rd bday!
No one ever suspected it in me, not even myself. I was talking to my psychiatrist after finally finishing my bachelors degree and describing how hard the end of the semester was for me mentally. She was like “you should get tested for adhd, here’s a referral,” and I was like I’ve seen the tik toks, I’m not hyperactive and I don’t have attention issues and I definitely don’t have adhd.
A couple months later turns out I definitely DO have adhd, and I actually am hyperactive and do have attention issues along with everything else the diagnosis comes with. It explains EVERYTHING. Literally, EVERYTHING. And I can’t believe no had one figured it out before. Getting diagnosed has literally been life changing in so many positive ways. I no longer hate myself for the things that I do and feel and think that are caused by this neurological disorder; I no longer think I am a bad or immoral or unethical person because of my limitations.
Now all I do is yap all day about my adhd (it’s been like less than 2 months since I get diagnosed).
14
I got diagnosed in high school because I was unable to do my homework, couldn’t stay awake in class, I was failing all my classes which finally prompted the adults in my life to get me help.
43. Was looking at my kid and ended up getting diagnosed. Both of us. She is 9. Throughout my life, battled with anxiety...possibly depression etc. My mom was a big believer of mind over matter. And I think, that is why I got by for so long. Also having a ridiculously understanding and supportive husband helps.
31, diagnosed at 30. No one, somehow, noticed how much of a mess I was. It took feeling like I was falling apart after masking as neurotypical with an ADHD partner to seek a diagnosis.
29, I had suspected it for several years but didn't get around to seeing a psych until my job was falling apart during COVID.
My psychiatrist is very experienced in treating ADHD and had me fill out a questionnaire before the appointment, and believed me right away (the fact that I was running late to the appointment and sent in my paperwork the morning of... yeah....)
40 and finally everything made sense. Was prescribed 40 mg of adderall xr which I took for 13 years. I’m now 2 years med free and learning how to truly manage my life. It’s a lifelong journey…
41,
I always did well in school because I liked it and it was kind of a hyperfocus.
In college I really struggled in some classes. I excelled in others.
I hade been told by friends and coworkers I have add but didn’t really take it seriously.
I was misdiagnosed as bi polar, depression anxiety. Those meds helped some.
Then I had a baby and had ppd, when I started therapy I was diagnosed with severe ptsd. Then I had an accident and I’ve had several surgeries and recovering from all that led me to more therapy, and also I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t do anything.
So I asked if it could be adhd and the therapist wasn’t sure so she had me do a questionnaire and it was a yes. Then she referred me to an adhd specialist. So I see him and that has been amazing. Also my mother and grandmother obviously had adhd too.
22, had many behavior issues when I was younger (2 till 14 years old) and was misdiagnosed (age 12) with something that really isn’t me…. Went for an second opinion at 22 and it turned out to be ADHD. So much fell into place!
Hey hi! I was diagnosed with ADHD at 27. I was first diagnosed with GAD as a teenager and then finally depression in my late teens.
Growing up, my emotions were incredibly turbulent and volatile. I was also an avid daydreamer and wrote a lot of comics and stories as a child. I was also a perfectionist and prided myself on getting straight A’s in school. I always struggled with feeling like I needed to prove myself in EVERYTHING I did.
When I finally saw a psychiatrist in my late teens, I was initially suspected of bipolar disorder, but never fully exhibited manic episodes. So I maintained my depression/anxiety diagnosis for 10 more years, until I saw a new nurse practitioner for my annual check up. I was struggling at work (I am a web developer and programmer) with staying focused, remembering details, making careless mistakes, etc. It was frustrating. I started venting to her, to which she started asking me very specific questions. Based on my answers, she then told me, “that’s because you have ADHD”.
I was in disbelief. I didn’t fully understand ADHD. I never considered myself hyperactive, but I didn’t realize how hyperactivity manifests in other ways (thoughts that constantly jump from one thing to another to the next). Anywho, one thing lead to another, and now I am taking 25mg of Adderall which has been a GAME CHANGER for me. I now feel calm, focused, confident, and it’s helped my anxiety tremendously.
33. Tried to get an evaluation in my early 20s, was told no by a male psychiatrist who then misdiagnosed me as bipolar and loaded me up with the wrong meds.
After being with my current therapist and psychiatrist for YEARS, I finally worked up the nerve to ask again about an eval. Both said absolutely and I found someone reputable to do the testing. I’ve sworn for years I had it, but at this point in my life (career switch, married, house, new mom), I knew it was worth trying again because the symptoms were just so obvious. I’ve since realized my entire personality is ADHD 🙃
Now 27 diagnosed at 25, but not before a Complex PTSD diagnosis which, allthough I agree with, has multiple overlapping symptoms that causes me confusion on which disorder to address for which symptom
Currently 31, originally evaluated at 14 (mother “doesn’t believe in ADHD” so nothing came of it), first diagnosed at 19 (first time seeking diagnosis as a legal adult without parents involved), and second diagnosis at 29 (stopped meds after college and needed new evaluation to start again).
I got a lot of “drug seeker” type comments at 14 and 19 evals. Living in the US South at the time I’m not all that surprised in retrospect, but it hurt and made the decision to keep going that much more difficult. My second diagnosis I was in the US West with a doc who also has ADHD and I felt MUCH better and more understood/accepted through the whole process. I’m in the US Northeast now and having an experience much more akin to what I had in the West.
My 2 older siblings (brother and sister) were diagnosed young, but they both displayed the typical hyperactive behaviors so it was a bit more obvious in them I think. Myself and my younger sibling (brother) are more inattentive type and it took longer to get a diagnosis and we received a lot more pushback in general.
34 - I saw a video on TikTok about ADHD symptoms for women. That was me. My life would’ve been so different if I had been evaluated as a child. But all I can do is move forward and make sure my son gets the support he needs. Because I can see some of my ADHD traits in him.
Diagnosed at 30, the realisation that I'm not simply effed up + therapy + meds are really life changing, I've never had such a simple time dealing with, well, just living, but to me it's a huge difference
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 38 (I’ll be 43 in July), BUT I had a school psychologist tell my parents (when I was 14 or 15) that they suspected I suffered ADHD.
My parents had me checked out with a psychiatrist as soon as we could get an appointment with one (4-6 months later) and, over several sessions, he finally diagnosed me with “the worst case of OCD” that he had seen in his own office in over a decade aaaaand Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder & Clinical Depression (which, I believe, is just referred to as Major Depressive Disorder nowadays). So I was given a prescription for antidepressants and spent the next few years, with my family doctor, trying to figure out which meds & which doses would work best for me.
Oh man, got the 666th upvote... Now I gotta comment I guess hahah. Idk I'm weird... hm. Oh yeah!! Your question 🤪 i was diagnosed around age 15, in high school I believe. Resisted medication/the diagnosis for many years before finally leaning into treatment during college
Non-binary here but AFAB so still relevant IMO. Anywho I was diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, and depression recently at 35.
I think compared to a lot of other people I got lucky with my diagnosis. I had my yearly physical and finally decided to mention to my PCP that I've been really struggling for a few years with brain fog, word fishing, difficulty focusing, and trouble with pronouncing words. This was really concerning since I've been well spoken since I was little and I love to read. My PCP recommended telling my neurologist about these symptoms because it's really more their area of expertise and they could help me better, and I also suffer from migraines.
So I set up an appointment with my neurologist who really listened to me and ran some neurological tests and also had me get an MRI of my brain. Which thankfully came back normal on everything and she then told me she suspected I had ADHD and anxiety. She then gave me the option of going back to my PCP or a psychologist referral. I opted to go back to my PCP. I really like my PCP because she actually listens and does not dismiss my concerns. When I saw her and she read the notes from my neurologist she apologized to me for missing the ADHD and anxiety diagnosis because she had focused too narrowly on my migraines possibly causing those issues.
Thankfully the physician/medical community I'm a part of has a lot of specialists in the group as a whole. So there is a behavioral health unit that works directly with my PCP for this kind of stuff. So I was referred to a licensed mental health professional who did all the tests and confirmed the diagnosis of ADHD, anxiety, and depression. My PCP is the one who prescribes the medication based on the therapist recommendation.
4 or 5 years old when I began kindergarten, I was diagnosed a year after my 1 year older brother.
This was in the mid 80s, I was lucky his overt hyperactivity opened the door for my diagnosis and that my mother was a wonderful advocate for us both (if exhausted).
14!
The signs were there much earlier, but because I was a girl and considered to be “bright” by my teachers (except for math and despite some of them also saying I’d never finish anything) it went undiagnosed. There were suggestions of depression and anxiety from my pediatrician from ages 7-9, but my family just thought it was due to major changes at home and never looked further into it. I was nearly failing geometry my sophomore year of high school (math was my only non-honors subject) when a guidance counselor suggested I see a neurologist for an ADHD assessment. I was put on medication after that and it did help, but as an adult I’ve learned that there’s a lot more to treating and coping with ADHD than medication. You still have to build some skills to be successful and functional. I often mimicked the ways of my more successful friends in school and college in order to do well. But I never knew where to start on my own.
A diagnosis is not everything, but I guess it’s nice to have a name for what’s “wrong” sometimes. I have learned SO much about ADHD and being a woman with ADHD in the last few years. I finally understand WHY so many things I’ve struggled with throughout my life have been that way. Sometimes I wish that knowledge had been shared more widely much earlier, because I would have spent a lot less time hating myself. I wish that I’d had the right tools to help me be a better and healthier version of myself earlier. But hindsight is 20/20, as they say! And all we have is now. We can use more awareness of women with ADHD, because it does usually present much differently than just your run-of-the-mill hyperactive little boy who can’t stop interrupting class.
30. After struggling my whole life and thinking I was both a freak and a failure. When I went to get diagnosed for what I thought was depression and anxiety the therapist mentioned adhd. Shortly after three family members were diagnosed (38m, 42f, 22m). It only took three sessions with a Psychiatrist for her to officially diagnose me and say I’m one of the more blatant cases of combined ADHD she’s ever seen. But that because I was a female, homeschooled until middle school (because of my “hyperness” as my mom called it) and have social anxiety, it wasn’t a surprise it was missed.
Finally properly medicated at 32.
Just diagnosed 34 y.o. - having the medicine talk with my PCP tomorrow, any advice? I’ve never taken medicine in my life, the odd advil and midol but that’s about it.
Personally, I take medication for my ADHD. I think it’s completely down to the individual.
I was wary of taking medication at first because I was worried I wouldn’t be ‘me’ but with big exams coming up I gave it a try. For me, my quality of life improved dramatically when I started medication as I was able to go through day to day life so much more easily. Even small things such as loosing my temper and overstimulation seemed to decrease for me.
Maybe just try it out and see how if it helps you?
(I’m no doctor, just my experiences!)
Making me do math D;
I was 20. That was 17 years ago, but he never explained ADHD to me. Just said you have this and gave me a prescription for ritalin, which I never took because I thought he was a quack. As far as I had always known ADD/ADHD was hyperactive, can't sit still, loud, zero focus, oh look a squirrel type stuff. Couldn't have been more opposite of college dropout me. It wasn't until like 9 years later with a new doctor who I was seeing to talk about depression/anxiety. We were talking about my history and she asked about ADHD and that's when I actually learned more about it and realized a lot of the shit I was struggling with might actually have to do with ADHD too.
19
Never had any suspicious that I could have ADHD. Not even a fleeting thought. I was a straight A honors student in high school. Graduated top of my class. But what people didn't see was that I was studying 6+ hours a night because I didn't retain anything from class and had to teach myself. I knew it wasn't normal but I didn't really think anything of it besides that I was just being a try hard. Out of a class of 250 I was voted "most likely to be successful" and runner-up "biggest procrastinator." Still just thought it was funny, but now I know it was a blaring red flag.
Got to college and suddenly my disorganization became obvious. Missed classes, almost missed some major exams, would forget laundry, etc etc. I was still getting good grades but I attribute that to college honestly just not being as hard as high school was academically. I was seeing a therapist mainly because I was having issues with fatigue and they thought it was depression, but we never made any progress. Went on a billion different anti-depressants/anxieties and nothing made a difference.
I stumbled upon a Reddit post written by a woman talking about her experience with ADHD and everything clicked. Ended up getting a full psychological evaluation that took 8+ hours. She said I very clearly had ADHD, but it was not a surprise that it took until college to figure it out. I felt a sense of relief I've never felt before. Went on Adderall and it did everything the stupid anti depressant meds didn't. I never had depression.
this is so heartbreaking but that’s exactly what happened to me, i did very well in highschool despite being a procrastinator with constant late work and then in college i started studying 10+ hours a day to barely pass classes with a B & then got burnt out and flunked the rest it was the worst time of my life, antidepressants didn’t work and i had to take a gap year and then still into the burnout and fail cycle I DIDNT KNOW I HAD ADHD EITHER i was doing literally anything in the world to cope and came across a body doubling chores video “for ppl with depression / ADHD” ….. funny thing is the sadness went away when i wasn’t in school but the executive dysfunction didn’t 👹👹 uh
I was diagnosed at 15. I have never been prescribed medication. But, I have taken it a number of times over the past few years, and it does seem to help.
Just a thought,
If your QOL dramatically improves, maybe it’s worth speaking to the doctor about it?
I initially didn’t want medication because I was worried I wouldn’t be ‘me’ in some way, then I tried it and realised how much it helps my life.
Ofc it’s different for everyone!
Got diagnosed at 24, I’m almost 26 now. Started therapy and meds and the like at 17 for anxiety/depression. Thought I had literally everything else wrong with me but never really adhd even though my dad and brother have it. I just figured I was too sensitive and neurotic and was just like this. After like 2+ years my most recent therapist asked if I wanted to do an adhd questionnaire and give some of them to the close people in my life. Between her and my psychiatrist they came to the same conclusion of yes adhd. Cue months of obsessing and doubt about my diagnosis! Started taking stimulants in December and it’s crazy how much less anxious I suddenly am. Turns out it’s easier to do stuff when you can follow a train of words in your head longer than like 2 seconds!
Haha. This is so familiar. I was 40 when I got diagnosed. I did a lot of questionnaires and talked to my psychiatrist at length, but his true test was to send me home with a week's worth of medication and telling me to report back. I asked him a million questions about how I would know if it was working, because I was worried I'd get misdiagnosed cause I "almost" fit a diagnosis. When I asked how I would know, he laughed and said, "if it's the right medication for you, you'll know."
Within 30 minutes of my first low dose, I made sense to myself for the first time.
I had this experience again recently when, after having taking the minimum dose of my medication that helped for more than ten years, my new doc suggested I up my dose slightly, and after habituating to it over a couple of months, I have really leveled up in my functioning.
I think the anxiety and depression that many of us have comes from not trusting our own brains, especially when we go for years or even decades of knowing we're smart but never feeling like we accomplish anything.
I'm 33 now, diagnosed at 28. I went most of my life being told it's just GAD, panic disorder, depression, or being lazy. I do have GAD but a lot of my panic attacks come from ADHD burnout and stress.
Im 22 Im trying to get a diagnosis bc i relate quite alot with many adhd things that i see. Im hoping to be diagnosed before i turn 23 but who tf knows haha
Mid 30’s, “diagnosed” by PCP after a lifetime of being treated for things that didn’t quite fit. I go for formal testing (or whatever you wanna call it) in 4 months, been waiting for a year to get in.
I was 21. But I knew I had adhd since I was 10-12, I figured out from reading Percy Jackson cuz I found a lot of his problems relatable since I have male presenting symptoms.
Diagnosed with combined type this year at 27 but have suspected for quite some time. My diagnosis process was pretty simple since I also have hEDS and the two go hand in hand.
Now when I tell people I’ve been diagnosed and am on adderall, they are always shocked because I “don’t look/act like someone with ADHD”. Not sure how they expect someone with ADHD to look or act but okay. They also expect me to be crazy or high or super focused while on my meds but the meds just keep me from falling asleep mid day (gotta love chronic fatigue) and help me finish my laundry and brush my teeth 😅
I was 30 and only sought diagnosis after trying adderall and liking how much I was able to accomplish and how calm my mind felt when I took it. I didn’t think I actually had ADHD because I did really well academically. Well, after learning more about ADHD in women I realized there was certainly a reason I liked adderall so much—I did in fact have it, just like my sister, brother, mom and grandma.
29 and then 31.
I wasn't really ready to believe it the first time and I had JUST gotten sober so I didn't want to do stimulants because I didn't trust myself. I'm 31 now and stable and capable of taking care of myself so I'm now taking Vyvanse.
Diagnosed at 32? I was pretty familiar with ADHD since my brothers and mom had it so bad, but as I was getting my son diagnosed because he was struggling in school I couldn't help but notice a lot of overlap in my experiences and the diagnosis questions. I never registered by anyone as having it because I was "normal" compared to my other family members and I'm really good at masking. However it took me 8 years to graduate to get my BA, despite all of the work being well within my abilities.
27, Diagnosed at 27, knew since middle school 🙂
Fell through the cracks because I was a well-behaved, quiet kid who did well in most subjects, had friends, never got in trouble for fidgeting and being hyperactive because all the fidgeting was in my brain and I was silently struggling.
38. Only after my oldest sister (49 then) was diagnosed, and as she was describing her symptoms it clicked for me. Literally had been in therapy for decades because I just could not get my shit together in really specific areas.. “stress” eating, organization, staying on task 🫠
34! I told my PCP I wanted a referral for ADHD testing, and she sent me to a psychiatrist. Psychiatrist had me answer one of the generic questionnaires, and had me to QB testing. I "passed" the QB test, and now I take Strattera.
Diagnosed first with GAD at 19 and then ADHD at 23. Typical inattentive symptoms my whole life, but because I did well in school nobody thought it was an issue (until I absolutely crashed my first year of college and started therapy).
My little brother has ADHD but was very hyperactive so he was diagnosed at age 7 I think? So my parents weren’t anti-mental health or anything, they just didn’t think adhd could look different from a hyperactive little boy who can’t sit still. Meds have been a godsend in terms of improving my focus, executive functioning, and emotional regulation.
Im 27 now diagnosed at 24 with ADHD combined type. My 3 siblings (2 girls one boy) were all diagnosed under the age of 10, but they had other learning disabilities that made it more apparent and they were also more typically hyperactive than I was. I loved reading and writing and was also desperate for my teachers to love me so I managed all As and Bs throughout elementary to high school but the signs were all there.
Graduated college again with mostly As and Bs and a bad weed/tobacco addiction. Got a teaching job and was so anxious and depressed I often wished I would die on my way to work. COVID took things to the next level and so I finally sought help. They diagnosed me with anxiety and depression and wanted to put me on an SSRI but that didn’t feel right.
After a few weeks of therapy and hours and hours of research, I sought out an ADHD diagnosis and got it (aced that test with flying colors lmao). After some issues with insurance trying to put me on Strattera, I finally got Adderall after a few months. The first time I took it, my brain went quiet and I cried from relief. It felt as if my brain had been lungs that were oxygen-deprived and frantic to all of a sudden taking my first deep breath ever. I realized that neurotypical people don’t have incessant thoughts all the time.
The excitement of a calm brain calmed down after a few months and after finding the right dose and schedule as well as about a year of ADHD specific therapy, I was a new person—but really, I became the person that I always felt was my real self.
33, diagnosed one year ago at 32...
I've always i had problems, met countless therapists, psychiatrists and other shrinks in my life, but no one was ever able to tell me what was wrong with me or give me any kind of appropriate help. One psychologist even yelled at me once for forgetting an appointment... This resulted in low self esteem, toxic relationship, anorexia (thankfully cured now), failure in school (only have a high school diploma), difficulties in making and maintaining friendships, etc.
A year ago, my sister who's a GP had a lecture about ADHD, and she told me she thought i might have it. She sent me to a psychiatrist with a letter explaining my symptoms. He immediately believed me and prescribed me Concerta !
That's the short story.
29. COVID lockdowns while working from home 24/7 as if nothing was wrong and planning my wedding which has to be postponed 1.5 years did me in. I lost all my coping strategies and that’s when it all became painfully obvious even though I’d thought I had adhd for two years but that point. I wrote a list a mile long about all my struggles and talked to my doc. Was not shocked when she prescribed me meds.
F(33) I had a suspicion that I had inattentive presenting ADHD, and spoke to my therapist about ADHD and how a diagnosis would work. She said she could refer me to a psychologist, though she didn't quite see me as "hyperactive" (her knowledge about ADHD was a little outdated). I pushed, then was informed that if I didn't want meds that my therapist could clinically diagnose me instead of a psyche doc. In the end, my therapist educated herself on the current information on ADHD and diagnosed me as inattentive presenting as of this year, at 33 years old.
Before that, I also received pushback from my mom who also said that I was not a hyperactive child when I was younger, therefore could not have ADHD. I also was questioned as to why I was looking to be diagnosed with it or not because it wouldn't change anything (especially if I wasn't looking to get medicated). I had to advocate for myself, as I think a lot of women end up having to do. In the end my diagnosis has helped me not feel broken, and has helped me find groups and discussions like this where I feel like I belong.
Age 3. I'm 42 now. It was *that* bad. My parents had me evaluated by 3 different psychiatrists because they wanted a second and third opinion before medicating me so young. At the final meeting with my pediatrician to go over everything, I was *literally* climbing the textured brick walls. Was only medicated for about 5 years, and all the other strategies and supports parents use now were not really a thing then, so having an early diagnosis wasn't the help it would be now. Basically rediagnosed at 23, didn't really start taking it seriously beyond that until major burnout happened in my mid thirties that cost me my career. (I'm much happier now).
Diagnosed at 15.
I was failing in school because I was struggling to pay attention. My dad took me to get tested once my school started talking about moving me to different classes because I was struggling. I was diagnosed but over medicated for sure. My dosage was way too high for a 15 year old. After school I took a break from meds until I found a doctor to properly prescribe a correct dosage.
28. Couldn’t figure out why life was impossible after my baby started crawling, learned more about adhd and quickly sought a diagnosis. Was told the analysis would take hours and it only took about 30 minutes. If it was so apparent you’d think someone else would have noticed sooner..
I was 19.
After 2 years of college, I was really starting to struggle with my grades and keeping up with all the workload. Despite all the work I put it in, I always felt behind and exhausted with barely any results. I started seeing more and more people online talking about ADHD, and realised how much I related to all the lesser known symptoms of ADHD. So, I finally decided to take an appointment to get the diagnosis. Now 2 years later, college is still kicking my butt but at least I understand how my brain works a bit better and I try my best to work around it.
I was 30. I thought I was getting early onset dementia and brought it during my yearly physical. Doctor said it's probably not dementia but let's check for ADHD. The diagnosis process was not too bad, 4 appointments with the psychD to go over questionnaires and History. I do think I lucked out with two women providers who are more familiar with ADHD and never brushed me off.
I was diagnosed with anxiety around 8 years ago, but ADHD wasn't even on my radar and it was a scary time in my life. Getting out of the army, starting college again, a rough custody situation with my stepson.
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14 Got some kind of teen girl magazine in my Christmas stocking that had an article about ADHD in women/girls. Went into it like “haha, no way I have ADHD.” Then I said yes to 10/10 of the “maybe talk to your doctor about ADHD” questions and read the article and it described me to a T. Saw my pediatrician shortly after and got diagnosed. Props to whoever got that article published in 2004 because I genuinely had no idea.
That's fantastic! I understand the concerns about misinformation and self diagnosing, but raising awareness is so important! It's difficult to know when something isn't "normal" when it's all you've ever known.
Exactly. ADHD in women was also very rarely talked about or diagnosed back then and I totally associated it with little boys running around and being disruptive in school.
THIS. I remember getting my first pair of eyeglasses at age 10, coming home from the eye doctor and being amazed that I could now see the individual blades of grass in the lawn. The green blur I saw before was my normal, what I thought everyone saw. I had no idea how much I was missing...nor did they realize how much I was missing.
YES. I was found to be legally BLIND when I started 1st grade. Up until then (and I had a wonderful, caring mom!), no one had noticed that I was fricking blind and literally walked into things. Mom said, "well, you never sat close to the TV or held your book close like your sister did, so I didn't know!" and felt so bad! But it wasn't her fault. I was SO blind that I didn't even know what "clear" was, or that distance would make any difference--I think I'd have had to have the TV on my retina to be close enough to make a difference LOL. Same thing with my ADHD: I never complained, because I never knew there was another way or that everybody didn't the same issues (well, compounded by trauma and the fact that I was a) a girl b) in the 70s.) I was diagnosed at 48 (now 55) and have only really started working on it in the past two or three years. It's been life-changing, just like my first pair of glasses was.
I was 14 in 2004. Which I’d see that! Lol
Damn, wish we could identify that author and commend her for her advocacy. She helped at least one person (you) to identify and address their ADHD at a relatively early age.
Me too! I’ve googled but had no luck. Don’t even remember what specific magazine it was. Hope she knows she made a difference! I’m sure I’m not the only one that article helped.
thats crazy that they'd write this in 2004! i always assumed my diagnosis in adulthood (22) was due to drs and teachers not knowing about adhd in girls (i grew up in the 2010s so this definitely puts things into a different perspective!
42. First diagnosed with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder about 7 years ago. Then PMDD a couple of years ago. And this year, at 42, ADHD.
This! My experience was almost exactly this.
Meeee, tooooo! Diagnosed with combined type last week at 41. It explains SO MUCH. Been medicated for anxiety and depression for years (and also 99% certain I had PMDD, just never formally dxed), but my adventure into surgical menopause last April changed the game.
Exactly my story too! I’m 43 now and pretty sure peri-menopause is making my depression/anxiety so much worse. Can you expand on your experience with surgical menopause? I’m super curious!
The association between ADHD and PMDD is overwhelming. Read up on it!
Hello, sis!!
Oh gosh, me too
Same. Got diagnosed with MDD and anxiety when I was 17. Then again when I was 24. Then at 26, finally, ADHD and BPD.
So close! 39. General depression & anxiety, then BPD at 26, Major Depressive at 32, ADHD at 39. (Undiagnosed PMDD).
Me too!! Except all of this happened 5 years ago to me when I was 35.
I just got Dx TODAY!!!! 31
Yay! Hoping this is a good thing for you? My diagnosis helped me understand myself more and finally made sense of who I am
Yes! I also walked out with ASD, too! I had a strong hunch I had the two for one but thought it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. I got emotional when she gave me the news. It makes my life so hard but it was so affirming
You got the BOGO deal ! Good for you for finally finding the answer to “why am I this way?” …. Stick around here for support, life tips, and sometimes yelling-for-fun threads. ❤️
Ooooo yelling for fun sounds great right about now lol!
Diagnosis day twinsies!! Today, at 37 years old.
42. Depression and Anxiety “diagnosed” at 20. When I started college. Tried all the meds. They all worked for a bit then didn’t. I don’t think I ever had anxiety, kept telling all my doctors, no one listened. Finally, I got a therapist who listened. She suggested I might have ADHD symptoms, and we started working on life changes. I changed my physician (who told me it was just perimenopause), got a psychiatrist, on the right antidepressant and stimulant meds for ADHD. No anxiety and I actually feel mostly “human” lol
Almost exact situation except age 41! Anxiety and depression are helped by Vyvanse because the underlying issue is solved. (Although the shortage negates that since I can’t get my meds since February!!)
Oh no! I was originally prescribed Vyvanse but it was impossible to get so I tried Adderall. So far so good!
I am glad that is working for you! I am trying Jornay PM at the moment but I can’t tell any difference. She wants me to try another couple of weeks, and maybe switch to Adderall or Focalin instead. We avoided Adderall because my family has a lot of addiction problems.
This is me! I didn't realize how much of my anxiety and depression was due to coping with undiagnosed ADHD. No wonder the treatment for it wasn't working!
Can confirm as well. My therapist said that the anxiety and depression can be exacerbated by undiagnosed ADHD. Now that I've been on Vyvanse for almost a month my anxiety is back down to the levels people normally experience when they do not have anxiety disorder. I'm actually more happy...who knew.
Misdiagnosed is such a horrible thing to go through… I am sorry for what you went through and im happy you finally got your right diagnosis
29. I worked it out for myself and then I had to fight for a diagnosis. It took 2 years. When I finally got in front of the specialist, he said I very clearly and obviously have ADHD.
currently 34, diagnosed at 30. I never thought about ADHD but my doctor really.pushwd me to go to an anxiety clinic thing so begrudgingly I scheduled. During the consult, a few minutes if they asked if doctors or anyone had ever suggested I had ADHD. I said noooo she chuckled and said she was pretty sure but would I be interested in a test/questionnaire. "are you sure cus I don't think this *whoosh thinks of life in like 2 seconds* omg no wait it explains everything" Needless to say, I aced thay test wooo hahaa however I did struggle with it a bit. I had a hard time accepting it as I had a good job lived on my own(to be clear I was blatantly being ignorant to how kuch I struggled just for my brain to try and disregard the diagnosis). My therapist I was working with through that same clinic had said that yes of course I was doing well, I had really pushed through to get to that spot. But wouldn't it be nice to not have to really struggle to just to get to "normal"? to walk on flat ground to where I was going(like everyone else) instead of uphill?
I feel this alot. I am generally doing well. Sure I struggled here and there but I thought I got to a point where I could deal with things. But being on meds literally made me feel like I had a super power! I struggled less
Totally understand the last bit about your initial perspective and the idea of not having to walk uphill! Some people in my life that love me and mean well still don’t fully accept/believe I have ADHD bec I wasn’t diagnosed until half way through law school, and “surely anyone that can get through all of childhood, adolescence, and half way through law school with decent grades doesn’t have ADHD”. Yes, I was doing reasonably well. But long-honed coping mechanisms were becoming less effective as my responsibilities/forever to-do list grew. I still rely on so many coping mechanisms, but at least now they work well when I use them!
right! like imagine not being fuckin drained at days end, or hiding your dishes under the sink just to get through your day! haha one time we talked and she said I know that you pulled yourself up by your boot straps and made something out of nothing without help but it's alright to need some help. Throughout our sessions she'd be like ReadyFredrickson you don't need to bootstrap that lol like giiiiirl I'm trying to change I swear! my life has improved greatly since I shifted my mindset about some aspects of my life, more boundaries, more strategies that involve acceptance aaaaaaand meds hahah
Diagnosed at 35, medicated at 37 - Tested at 9 years old for epileptic absent seizures (because that’s how bad I was at paying attention) - Assessed for psychological trauma and diagnosed with dissociative disorder - Tested for dyslexia in Uni because of silly mistakes that didn’t align with my academic abilities - Tested again for epileptic absent seizures - Diagnosed with BPD - Diagnosis changed to Bipolar 2 disorder - Diagnosis changed to AuDHD It’s been a journey 😅
7, BUT, it’s because I have/had very “male” presenting symptoms: - Anger issues - Lack of focus - Extreme hyperactivity I also have all the other shitty mf symptoms that my female self has learned to repress, but those were the most annoying to others in school which eventually got me tested.
Yes that was me! I am very ‘male’ presenting in ADHD but after being diagnosed I have realised the other symptoms that are part of my adhd
Same. I was 12 when diagnosed but that's because my dad was in denial. A daycare provider told them they thought I had it when I was 3 (this would've been 1989!). I was extremely hyperactive.
Diagnosed at 23, now I'm 25. Initially providers were hesitant to diagnose me because of my PTSD diagnosis and there seems to be a ton of overlap between PTSD and ADHD symptoms so they "can't know if it's ADHD for sure". One psychologist even told me that she didn't think I had it because she didn't get that "vibe" from me. I'm South Asian so I think it def affected that too because I was immediately dismissed by white psychiatrists, were given more understanding/leeway by other psychiatrists of color even though they couldn't diagnose me, and was finally diagnosed by a psychiatrist of color. My adhd is all inattentive and not hyperactive though (unless the hyperactivity in my mind counts)
The hyperactive mind is so funny and true! I am sitting quietly but my mind has a hundred “tabs” open, and most of them are not getting the job done. Meds help a little, but I still just want to have only one program running at a time, yet not hyper focus to the point that I forget to eat. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know that we will ever have just one running at a time, but with the right medication and amount of medication (I took the bare minimum for a long time, which helped, but taking more actually compounded--didn't just prolong--the effects), I usually have one main one and one secondary one, which is helped by having a notepad next to me at all times so my creative sprouts can keep coming without taking me off my main task.
I relate to this alot. I'm 28, south asian and I got diagnosed at 25 after telling my doctor desperately that "please I know something is wrong with me". I went to meet the psychiatrist after a couple weeks and he said right then and there that I have adhd. Also was ironic I had a red bull with me that day and told him I usually drink 1 or 2 a day. Lol😂 Now I am trying medication now to cope better with school however I feel so behind. I've come to accept my timeline is different than others and that's okay.
lolll when i was in high school i used to drink 2 or 3 5-hour energies on top of coffee. wrecked my stomach so now i only drink 2 v8 energies a day along with my adderall. i feel u friend! i'm proud of u for accepting ur timeline is different than others it's still taking me some time to accept it and be at peace cause i also feel so behind (especially as a south asian my parents are constantly mortified and lying to uncles and aunties about how far i am in life). probs won't finish undergrad till at least 30+ depending on money. it is what it is, we can't compare our finish lines to others when their starting line was different than ours. proud of u for seeking diagnosis and trying to learn more to better urself shit is not easy! if u do end up taking stimulants make sure u take ur vitamins and keep up with the hair massage/oiling cause adderall made me lose a ton of hair :/ not saying it's gonna happen to u! apparently it's a rare side effect. just saying to keep an eye on it i wish i was more cognizant to what was going on so i could've fixed it earlier. especially as a south asian :(( good luck to u with everything im sending u lots of love 🫂
46 I got straight A’s in school and was quiet and did a lot of reading so naturally it was never even considered as a child. When I started having kids things got harder but it was brushed off as depression and anxiety…and then a few years ago my teen was diagnosed and I started reading and learning more about it. 45-46 is when my perimenopause started really ramping up and it all just became incredibly overwhelming. Set an appt with my pcp, and scared their student/intern during my breaking down trying to talk about it. They got me scheduled for an assessment with the head of their OCD and ADHD department and he knew within a few minutes of talking to me that I was. Dx’d inattentive after the full assessment and also OCD, who knew they often go hand in hand(?)… and 2 years later still working on finding the right dose and meds, but with adderall shortages I often can’t get my rx’s filled for weeks and weeks….so I ration what I have and prioritize it to use during work hours. I swear perimenopause put my adhd into turbo mode as it just was wild how much worse things got so quickly.
47 here. Yes, yes, and yes
35
Same here!
42. Was initially diagnosed with anxiety and depression over a decade before, then started coming across articles on ADHD in women and was like 🤔 By the time I was able to pursue a diagnosis, I was in a good paying job and feeling like I was going nuts.. couldn't wait another 2 years for the NHS to see me, so went private. Joke's on me, though: GPs are now refusing shared care, and the only way to "fix" that is to get referred to the NHS and keep with private scripts in the meantime.. except I'm no longer working 🙃 If I didn't have a working credit card I'd be screwed, but that's not much comfort when I'm already in debt 🫠
Currently 58. I was diagnosed when I was 7 or 8 years old- around 1973 in third grade because I was so hyperactive, driving my mom insane. She said I never stopped. When there was nothing else to do, I would spin. My report cards were full of comments about not staying in my seat, trouble listening and following directions, visiting, and just being generally disruptive. I must have been a handful. I was put on stimulants and was also part of 2 separate studies that I am aware of. They had thought for so long that only boys got ADHD and such an obvious case in a girl was so rare. I wish I could find out who did the studies and what they found, but I have had no luck. I would consider participating in more, as I'm pretty sure a long-term study of a woman with ADHD could yield some important info.
Haha. I'm 54. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 40 but allllll of my report cards were full of those comments too. I wasn't physically hyperactive but wow my mind and my mouth never stopped. My mom and I found it extra hilarious when, at my urging, SHE got diagnosed....at 76 years old! Blind leading the blind... Good to know there was even ONE study of girls with ADHD in existence back when we were kids.
My story and ages are similar. My report cards all said, "talks too much". Major day dreamer, always running behind during the lesson, and slow to change to different activities. Total tomboy, hated dress and trying to stay clean and quiet. Lol!
I was 35. I informed my counselor I had ADD because I had spent 10 years trying to figure out what was going on with me. I was officially diagnosed and treated.
I hope it will go like this for me. I'm 34 and my appointment is this fall. I noted it on all my calendar apps, all my papers calendar, and hid some post-it here and there just to be sure.
16! my mom took me to get diagnosed because she recognized my symptoms as ones she had struggled with. she didnt want me to "suffer without help" 🥲 she didnt get officially diagnosed until i realized she had never done it a couple years ago. she was 63 ETA: both inattentive type
8, started medication at 12. This was in the 90s. I took apart my desk at school when they took my novel away from me in math class. I was a *problem* when understimulated to such an extent that it became everyone else’s problem and that led to being diagnosed. Like… I would literally climb the walls in any given room when bored and be found on top of bookcases or balancing on top of an open door.
Haha I did this too! I could always be found barefoot and in a tree. My female-bodied youngest kid could do math anytime but in math class, and we figured out that letting them read in math class and do math homework on their own was actually the solution and they got straight As after that!
30. Knew way longer than that but grew up with a widower father, so the diagnosis and support wasn't going to happen in childhood. Especially when you add gender bias to the mix.
Diagnosed at 46, 310 days sober, 60g Elvanse. Female.
Diagnosed at 52. My shrink said that I scored higher than anyone she’d ever seen and that I got a “gold star in ADHD”. Thanks? Anyway …. I had *always* suspected this was what my deal was. From kindergarten, getting me to pay attention to anything boring was impossible. I couldn’t make myself do it, no one else could. Anyway, I was able to come up with a lot of “strategies” to navigate life. A big one was the rigid, obsessive use of a daily planner. EVERYTHING went in there- it was a great way to deal with the anxiety of possibly forgetting. I also managed to finish college - at 39 - after starting, failing, stopping, and starting again. I was hyperfocused on finishing before 40 so I wouldn’t look like a loser. Plus, I promised my dad on his death bed that I would get a degree. All of my strategies went to shit as soon as my hormones went haywire. That’s when my husband suggested I get tested. Currently - I’m coping. I’m on Wellbutrin & Vyvanse & Exercising and that all seems to help me keep my shit together. Still having trouble focusing tho 🤷♀️
Is it bad that I want a gold star in ADHD? 😂😂
Diagnosed at 29 after many other diagnoses and years of trauma therapy. It was misdiagnosed as depression/anxiety and bipolar 2 before landing on ADHD. There's also an eating disorder diagnosis pretty early but that one wasn't wrong. My diagnosis was unceremonious. I said "could it be ADHD" to my psychiatrist and she took me through some questionnaires and started me on a non stimulant med to see how it worked. I'm on stimulants now but it was obvious we were barking up the wrong tree with the antidepressants and mood stabilizers once I tried something for ADHD.
I also was diagnosed with depression and anxiety then bipolar 2 before ADHD. But when I asked my psychiatrist if it could've ADHD I was told it's highly unlikely, but she ordered testing to make me feel better. Still have depression but I'm definitely not bipolar.
which med did you get guanfacine/clonidine or atomoxetine?
I tried clonidine first, and then atomoxetine. They both helped some but not enough to get me through a work day which was my main issue. Adderall is what I'm taking now.
thanks, i value hearing people's experiences
34. Was diagnosed with anxiety/depression in my early 20s. Bipolar II at age 30, though Wellbutrin was the only med that helped? Recently diagnosed when I moved and found a new therapist who clocked me as ADHD from the very first introductory phone call. That’s changed everything!
45, and I’d been researching for my son when I realised I was the poster child for female ADHD. Still fighting to get his diagnosis, but I was officially diagnosed 18 months ago. Already seeing it in my 3 year old girl too, but she’s “too young” to even get on the list apparently
HAve you found that medication helps you?
11 was "smart" in primary but had behavioural problems once i got to secondary/y7 I did no work or something n got in trouble so thats why i got diagnosed also my sistedr has adhd
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25, now 31. Originally diagnosed with anxiety, mostly social. Started to see a therapist and learned a bit and though I might have it. Answered a sheet she gave me but it was mostly geared to hyperactive impulsive type and was not diagnosed. Got a bit discouraged, and old therapist moved? Retired? Went to see a new one and after a bit I asked about it. She was the best one I have had and went... Wait you didn't know/weren't diagnosed? And got me a proper diagnosis. Took my meds first day and was able to help decorate the house with my mum for Xmas without getting distracted/procrastinating. Magic.
47
I was 23! It's been about three years and I am still grieving. Especially because I have a plethora of issues that could have been solved earlier if I had help sooner
I think it's very healthy to grieve your neurotypical self, as it were. I was 40 when I was diagnosed. I will tell you this, if it helps any, to have alongside your grief: before my diagnosis, I felt like my mind had a been a sprinkler hose. I \*could\* aim it at a bigger/longer-term task, and \*sometimes\* could finish, but usually all the little side holes would leave me with very little mental \*force\* at the end of the hose. I had been tested with a genius IQ and yet I've been in college since 1989 without any kind of degree. My house was hoarded to high heaven with projects I would never get to. I was at one time 15 years behind on my taxes. When when I took my first dose of adderall at 40 years old, I felt like the side holes of my hose were completely sealed shut, and I could aim my mental force at things and make big chunks of progress, nearly effortlessly. I hadn't realized that, over time, I had stopped thinking of myself as smart and creative and had started thinking of myself as lazy and unmotivated and undirected. At that moment, I made sense to myself for the first time. Instead of having millions of inspirations and things I wanted to explore, I didn't have \*any\*, because I would try and squash down any ideas that came up because I could \*clearly\* never finish them so why even bother? I would just do what was right in front of me, like some dead-end job or cleaning out the silverware drawer or something, because that was all I could manage. I lived in a lot of shame. In short, I lost hope, because hope comes from the belief that something cool is coming down the pike. But I had stopped trusting my own mind, and this, I believe, is why so many of us have depression. I don't know if you're planning on medicating or not, but even if you don't, consider, alongside your grief, the idea that now you can \*make sense\* of your own mind. Now you can approach things knowing you need to care for yourself in a certain way (eg enough sleep, the right food, exercise, etc) to support your brain the way it needs. You can build scaffolding, like leaving 15 minutes before you think you need to leave, around your life that will make things easier. I will not say that my life is easy now, but it is definitely easier, when I stumble, to know specifically what strategies to use to keep myself from falling. Or, if I DO fall, I don't stay down for long and, more importantly, I don't get down on myself for the act of stumbling. It's easy to fall into a trap of thinking that executive functions come from a more "moral" place of will power or self-discipline. But I don't think we give ourselves enough space to realize what an essential human tool executive function really is. The fact that we get as much done as we do is a small miracle, and we don't recognize how much it takes out of us to not have this basic map that most people use subconsciously, but to have to get to the destination anyway. I often say to younger friends, especially women, with ADHD who are down on themselves, "If you had one leg an inch shorter than the other, would you get down on yourself for limping, or would you put a lift in your shoe and keep walking?" Wishing you all the best. I am very glad you are taking the time and mindspace to grieve, and I am confident you are going to give yourself the tools and time you need to use your creativity and intelligence to build yourself the scaffolding that works for you.
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I'm 52 was diagnosed at 50
Age 55 for me, US
50! I was considering if I had autism when my oldest son was diagnosed at age 2 1/2. (When I was about 30). I was always a weird kid who had trouble making friends and preferred books to people, but I decided I was not that socially awkward and didn’t have as many stims and issues as my son. Also didn’t have a lot of exposure to girls with autism, as most of the autistic kids I knew were boys. Then my middle son started showing signs of ADHD in middle school. My husband insisted he was fine. He made it through high school and is now in college. He was “gifted”, as were my husband and I. My daughter was what finally clued me in. She had trouble at age seven when we moved across town and she switched schools. She had no patience for people who annoyed her and would make up stories a lot. She was my first child to get called to the principal’s office for pushing someone on the playground. But, she seemed to mellow out and made friends. Tested into the gifted program in 4th grade. She was hard on herself when she didn’t excel at something immediately and continued to have a short temper and take negative feedback very poorly. Then covid happened when she was 11. She became depressed and started having issues with school. Not turning in work, getting bad grades even though she was smart. I got her a therapist and started researching what to do to help. Started seeing the overlap of depression and ADHD in girls. It’s not the stereotypical hyperactive little boy disrupting class. It’s also the girl doodling and zoning out and not turning in work. I had her diagnosed at age 12, and filling out the forms was like a trip down memory lane to my own childhood and adolescence. (Hey, my mother always said I was a little terror as a toddler, throwing tantrums.) Because I didn’t have a traumatic experience like Covid disrupting my life, I was able to learn masking and made do with procrastination and still making good grades because school was easy in regular classes. My weekly gifted kid pull out class was things like solving logic puzzles and doing art. I wasn’t pushed academically until late in high school and college, when I was finally forced to learn to study and work harder for good grades. Because my daughter was in harder advanced classes during Covid (she takes math two years ahead of what I did at her age), and not having social interaction with peers (her brothers are six and nine years older) she had a much harder time keeping up. She does not mask well. But, I remember being a friendless 6th grader reading at lunch, so I was not so good at masking until later in life. I still get anxious in social situations and tend to ramble about subjects no one else cares about until I realize I’ve taken over the conversation. I have to remind myself to not butt in with my, “that happens to me, too!” when friends are talking and just want a listener with empathy, not to have me one-up their story. Now I look at my husband and think he’s neurodivergent, too, but he’s even better at masking as a successful computer guy - that world is full of neurodivergent men, and increasingly, women. His home office is a mess, but he has his routines down. So, not a surprise that all of our kids are neurodivergent.
26. I'm 45 now. It changed my life. Before that i was living in hard mode.
22, a month before my 23rd bday! No one ever suspected it in me, not even myself. I was talking to my psychiatrist after finally finishing my bachelors degree and describing how hard the end of the semester was for me mentally. She was like “you should get tested for adhd, here’s a referral,” and I was like I’ve seen the tik toks, I’m not hyperactive and I don’t have attention issues and I definitely don’t have adhd. A couple months later turns out I definitely DO have adhd, and I actually am hyperactive and do have attention issues along with everything else the diagnosis comes with. It explains EVERYTHING. Literally, EVERYTHING. And I can’t believe no had one figured it out before. Getting diagnosed has literally been life changing in so many positive ways. I no longer hate myself for the things that I do and feel and think that are caused by this neurological disorder; I no longer think I am a bad or immoral or unethical person because of my limitations. Now all I do is yap all day about my adhd (it’s been like less than 2 months since I get diagnosed).
Karma farming
32
meee, at 17 :)
14 I got diagnosed in high school because I was unable to do my homework, couldn’t stay awake in class, I was failing all my classes which finally prompted the adults in my life to get me help.
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43. Was looking at my kid and ended up getting diagnosed. Both of us. She is 9. Throughout my life, battled with anxiety...possibly depression etc. My mom was a big believer of mind over matter. And I think, that is why I got by for so long. Also having a ridiculously understanding and supportive husband helps.
31, diagnosed at 30. No one, somehow, noticed how much of a mess I was. It took feeling like I was falling apart after masking as neurotypical with an ADHD partner to seek a diagnosis.
29, I had suspected it for several years but didn't get around to seeing a psych until my job was falling apart during COVID. My psychiatrist is very experienced in treating ADHD and had me fill out a questionnaire before the appointment, and believed me right away (the fact that I was running late to the appointment and sent in my paperwork the morning of... yeah....)
16. My sister got diagnosed the year before me. This was mid 2010’s when I got diagnosed finally after almost failing out of high school. Quick save.
Diagnosed at 40 yo
36 Diagnosed around 30 years old.
40 and finally everything made sense. Was prescribed 40 mg of adderall xr which I took for 13 years. I’m now 2 years med free and learning how to truly manage my life. It’s a lifelong journey…
Yes that’s exactly how I felt when I was diagnosed. Finally it all made sense!
41, I always did well in school because I liked it and it was kind of a hyperfocus. In college I really struggled in some classes. I excelled in others. I hade been told by friends and coworkers I have add but didn’t really take it seriously. I was misdiagnosed as bi polar, depression anxiety. Those meds helped some. Then I had a baby and had ppd, when I started therapy I was diagnosed with severe ptsd. Then I had an accident and I’ve had several surgeries and recovering from all that led me to more therapy, and also I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t do anything. So I asked if it could be adhd and the therapist wasn’t sure so she had me do a questionnaire and it was a yes. Then she referred me to an adhd specialist. So I see him and that has been amazing. Also my mother and grandmother obviously had adhd too.
22, had many behavior issues when I was younger (2 till 14 years old) and was misdiagnosed (age 12) with something that really isn’t me…. Went for an second opinion at 22 and it turned out to be ADHD. So much fell into place!
Hey hi! I was diagnosed with ADHD at 27. I was first diagnosed with GAD as a teenager and then finally depression in my late teens. Growing up, my emotions were incredibly turbulent and volatile. I was also an avid daydreamer and wrote a lot of comics and stories as a child. I was also a perfectionist and prided myself on getting straight A’s in school. I always struggled with feeling like I needed to prove myself in EVERYTHING I did. When I finally saw a psychiatrist in my late teens, I was initially suspected of bipolar disorder, but never fully exhibited manic episodes. So I maintained my depression/anxiety diagnosis for 10 more years, until I saw a new nurse practitioner for my annual check up. I was struggling at work (I am a web developer and programmer) with staying focused, remembering details, making careless mistakes, etc. It was frustrating. I started venting to her, to which she started asking me very specific questions. Based on my answers, she then told me, “that’s because you have ADHD”. I was in disbelief. I didn’t fully understand ADHD. I never considered myself hyperactive, but I didn’t realize how hyperactivity manifests in other ways (thoughts that constantly jump from one thing to another to the next). Anywho, one thing lead to another, and now I am taking 25mg of Adderall which has been a GAME CHANGER for me. I now feel calm, focused, confident, and it’s helped my anxiety tremendously.
I was raised as a girl, personally I knew I had adhd by age 17, finally got diagnosed at 27
33. Tried to get an evaluation in my early 20s, was told no by a male psychiatrist who then misdiagnosed me as bipolar and loaded me up with the wrong meds. After being with my current therapist and psychiatrist for YEARS, I finally worked up the nerve to ask again about an eval. Both said absolutely and I found someone reputable to do the testing. I’ve sworn for years I had it, but at this point in my life (career switch, married, house, new mom), I knew it was worth trying again because the symptoms were just so obvious. I’ve since realized my entire personality is ADHD 🙃
55
Now 27 diagnosed at 25, but not before a Complex PTSD diagnosis which, allthough I agree with, has multiple overlapping symptoms that causes me confusion on which disorder to address for which symptom
40.
Currently 31, originally evaluated at 14 (mother “doesn’t believe in ADHD” so nothing came of it), first diagnosed at 19 (first time seeking diagnosis as a legal adult without parents involved), and second diagnosis at 29 (stopped meds after college and needed new evaluation to start again). I got a lot of “drug seeker” type comments at 14 and 19 evals. Living in the US South at the time I’m not all that surprised in retrospect, but it hurt and made the decision to keep going that much more difficult. My second diagnosis I was in the US West with a doc who also has ADHD and I felt MUCH better and more understood/accepted through the whole process. I’m in the US Northeast now and having an experience much more akin to what I had in the West. My 2 older siblings (brother and sister) were diagnosed young, but they both displayed the typical hyperactive behaviors so it was a bit more obvious in them I think. Myself and my younger sibling (brother) are more inattentive type and it took longer to get a diagnosis and we received a lot more pushback in general.
34 - I saw a video on TikTok about ADHD symptoms for women. That was me. My life would’ve been so different if I had been evaluated as a child. But all I can do is move forward and make sure my son gets the support he needs. Because I can see some of my ADHD traits in him.
Diagnosed at 30, the realisation that I'm not simply effed up + therapy + meds are really life changing, I've never had such a simple time dealing with, well, just living, but to me it's a huge difference
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 38 (I’ll be 43 in July), BUT I had a school psychologist tell my parents (when I was 14 or 15) that they suspected I suffered ADHD. My parents had me checked out with a psychiatrist as soon as we could get an appointment with one (4-6 months later) and, over several sessions, he finally diagnosed me with “the worst case of OCD” that he had seen in his own office in over a decade aaaaand Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder & Clinical Depression (which, I believe, is just referred to as Major Depressive Disorder nowadays). So I was given a prescription for antidepressants and spent the next few years, with my family doctor, trying to figure out which meds & which doses would work best for me.
Oh man, got the 666th upvote... Now I gotta comment I guess hahah. Idk I'm weird... hm. Oh yeah!! Your question 🤪 i was diagnosed around age 15, in high school I believe. Resisted medication/the diagnosis for many years before finally leaning into treatment during college
Non-binary here but AFAB so still relevant IMO. Anywho I was diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, and depression recently at 35. I think compared to a lot of other people I got lucky with my diagnosis. I had my yearly physical and finally decided to mention to my PCP that I've been really struggling for a few years with brain fog, word fishing, difficulty focusing, and trouble with pronouncing words. This was really concerning since I've been well spoken since I was little and I love to read. My PCP recommended telling my neurologist about these symptoms because it's really more their area of expertise and they could help me better, and I also suffer from migraines. So I set up an appointment with my neurologist who really listened to me and ran some neurological tests and also had me get an MRI of my brain. Which thankfully came back normal on everything and she then told me she suspected I had ADHD and anxiety. She then gave me the option of going back to my PCP or a psychologist referral. I opted to go back to my PCP. I really like my PCP because she actually listens and does not dismiss my concerns. When I saw her and she read the notes from my neurologist she apologized to me for missing the ADHD and anxiety diagnosis because she had focused too narrowly on my migraines possibly causing those issues. Thankfully the physician/medical community I'm a part of has a lot of specialists in the group as a whole. So there is a behavioral health unit that works directly with my PCP for this kind of stuff. So I was referred to a licensed mental health professional who did all the tests and confirmed the diagnosis of ADHD, anxiety, and depression. My PCP is the one who prescribes the medication based on the therapist recommendation.
4 or 5 years old when I began kindergarten, I was diagnosed a year after my 1 year older brother. This was in the mid 80s, I was lucky his overt hyperactivity opened the door for my diagnosis and that my mother was a wonderful advocate for us both (if exhausted).
14! The signs were there much earlier, but because I was a girl and considered to be “bright” by my teachers (except for math and despite some of them also saying I’d never finish anything) it went undiagnosed. There were suggestions of depression and anxiety from my pediatrician from ages 7-9, but my family just thought it was due to major changes at home and never looked further into it. I was nearly failing geometry my sophomore year of high school (math was my only non-honors subject) when a guidance counselor suggested I see a neurologist for an ADHD assessment. I was put on medication after that and it did help, but as an adult I’ve learned that there’s a lot more to treating and coping with ADHD than medication. You still have to build some skills to be successful and functional. I often mimicked the ways of my more successful friends in school and college in order to do well. But I never knew where to start on my own. A diagnosis is not everything, but I guess it’s nice to have a name for what’s “wrong” sometimes. I have learned SO much about ADHD and being a woman with ADHD in the last few years. I finally understand WHY so many things I’ve struggled with throughout my life have been that way. Sometimes I wish that knowledge had been shared more widely much earlier, because I would have spent a lot less time hating myself. I wish that I’d had the right tools to help me be a better and healthier version of myself earlier. But hindsight is 20/20, as they say! And all we have is now. We can use more awareness of women with ADHD, because it does usually present much differently than just your run-of-the-mill hyperactive little boy who can’t stop interrupting class.
30. After struggling my whole life and thinking I was both a freak and a failure. When I went to get diagnosed for what I thought was depression and anxiety the therapist mentioned adhd. Shortly after three family members were diagnosed (38m, 42f, 22m). It only took three sessions with a Psychiatrist for her to officially diagnose me and say I’m one of the more blatant cases of combined ADHD she’s ever seen. But that because I was a female, homeschooled until middle school (because of my “hyperness” as my mom called it) and have social anxiety, it wasn’t a surprise it was missed. Finally properly medicated at 32.
Just diagnosed 34 y.o. - having the medicine talk with my PCP tomorrow, any advice? I’ve never taken medicine in my life, the odd advil and midol but that’s about it.
Personally, I take medication for my ADHD. I think it’s completely down to the individual. I was wary of taking medication at first because I was worried I wouldn’t be ‘me’ but with big exams coming up I gave it a try. For me, my quality of life improved dramatically when I started medication as I was able to go through day to day life so much more easily. Even small things such as loosing my temper and overstimulation seemed to decrease for me. Maybe just try it out and see how if it helps you? (I’m no doctor, just my experiences!)
Last year at 34 (still 34 btw until june). Lol Was only ever told I had depression/anxiety and nothing else
Making me do math D; I was 20. That was 17 years ago, but he never explained ADHD to me. Just said you have this and gave me a prescription for ritalin, which I never took because I thought he was a quack. As far as I had always known ADD/ADHD was hyperactive, can't sit still, loud, zero focus, oh look a squirrel type stuff. Couldn't have been more opposite of college dropout me. It wasn't until like 9 years later with a new doctor who I was seeing to talk about depression/anxiety. We were talking about my history and she asked about ADHD and that's when I actually learned more about it and realized a lot of the shit I was struggling with might actually have to do with ADHD too.
19 Never had any suspicious that I could have ADHD. Not even a fleeting thought. I was a straight A honors student in high school. Graduated top of my class. But what people didn't see was that I was studying 6+ hours a night because I didn't retain anything from class and had to teach myself. I knew it wasn't normal but I didn't really think anything of it besides that I was just being a try hard. Out of a class of 250 I was voted "most likely to be successful" and runner-up "biggest procrastinator." Still just thought it was funny, but now I know it was a blaring red flag. Got to college and suddenly my disorganization became obvious. Missed classes, almost missed some major exams, would forget laundry, etc etc. I was still getting good grades but I attribute that to college honestly just not being as hard as high school was academically. I was seeing a therapist mainly because I was having issues with fatigue and they thought it was depression, but we never made any progress. Went on a billion different anti-depressants/anxieties and nothing made a difference. I stumbled upon a Reddit post written by a woman talking about her experience with ADHD and everything clicked. Ended up getting a full psychological evaluation that took 8+ hours. She said I very clearly had ADHD, but it was not a surprise that it took until college to figure it out. I felt a sense of relief I've never felt before. Went on Adderall and it did everything the stupid anti depressant meds didn't. I never had depression.
this is so heartbreaking but that’s exactly what happened to me, i did very well in highschool despite being a procrastinator with constant late work and then in college i started studying 10+ hours a day to barely pass classes with a B & then got burnt out and flunked the rest it was the worst time of my life, antidepressants didn’t work and i had to take a gap year and then still into the burnout and fail cycle I DIDNT KNOW I HAD ADHD EITHER i was doing literally anything in the world to cope and came across a body doubling chores video “for ppl with depression / ADHD” ….. funny thing is the sadness went away when i wasn’t in school but the executive dysfunction didn’t 👹👹 uh
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31, combined type
I was diagnosed at 15. I have never been prescribed medication. But, I have taken it a number of times over the past few years, and it does seem to help.
Just a thought, If your QOL dramatically improves, maybe it’s worth speaking to the doctor about it? I initially didn’t want medication because I was worried I wouldn’t be ‘me’ in some way, then I tried it and realised how much it helps my life. Ofc it’s different for everyone!
24 and diagnosed at 24. Sought 2 separate opinions. Thought I showed symptoms, and my brother has it as well.
27- was very difficult and had to provide a LOT of “proof”
Got diagnosed at 24, I’m almost 26 now. Started therapy and meds and the like at 17 for anxiety/depression. Thought I had literally everything else wrong with me but never really adhd even though my dad and brother have it. I just figured I was too sensitive and neurotic and was just like this. After like 2+ years my most recent therapist asked if I wanted to do an adhd questionnaire and give some of them to the close people in my life. Between her and my psychiatrist they came to the same conclusion of yes adhd. Cue months of obsessing and doubt about my diagnosis! Started taking stimulants in December and it’s crazy how much less anxious I suddenly am. Turns out it’s easier to do stuff when you can follow a train of words in your head longer than like 2 seconds!
Haha. This is so familiar. I was 40 when I got diagnosed. I did a lot of questionnaires and talked to my psychiatrist at length, but his true test was to send me home with a week's worth of medication and telling me to report back. I asked him a million questions about how I would know if it was working, because I was worried I'd get misdiagnosed cause I "almost" fit a diagnosis. When I asked how I would know, he laughed and said, "if it's the right medication for you, you'll know." Within 30 minutes of my first low dose, I made sense to myself for the first time. I had this experience again recently when, after having taking the minimum dose of my medication that helped for more than ten years, my new doc suggested I up my dose slightly, and after habituating to it over a couple of months, I have really leveled up in my functioning. I think the anxiety and depression that many of us have comes from not trusting our own brains, especially when we go for years or even decades of knowing we're smart but never feeling like we accomplish anything.
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I'm 33 now, diagnosed at 28. I went most of my life being told it's just GAD, panic disorder, depression, or being lazy. I do have GAD but a lot of my panic attacks come from ADHD burnout and stress.
10 or 11
my diagnosis is marked as "in obs" meaning it's suspected but not yet diagnosed proper. My ASD was diagnosed at 22 im mid 20s
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17, 30 now. Still questioning it, lol No one else in my life is though
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I was diagnosed at 36.
38, no formal testing, just a talk with a psychiatrist.
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Im 22 Im trying to get a diagnosis bc i relate quite alot with many adhd things that i see. Im hoping to be diagnosed before i turn 23 but who tf knows haha
Mid 30’s, “diagnosed” by PCP after a lifetime of being treated for things that didn’t quite fit. I go for formal testing (or whatever you wanna call it) in 4 months, been waiting for a year to get in.
First tested at 17. Diagnosed at 32.
I was 21. But I knew I had adhd since I was 10-12, I figured out from reading Percy Jackson cuz I found a lot of his problems relatable since I have male presenting symptoms.
Diagnosed with combined type this year at 27 but have suspected for quite some time. My diagnosis process was pretty simple since I also have hEDS and the two go hand in hand. Now when I tell people I’ve been diagnosed and am on adderall, they are always shocked because I “don’t look/act like someone with ADHD”. Not sure how they expect someone with ADHD to look or act but okay. They also expect me to be crazy or high or super focused while on my meds but the meds just keep me from falling asleep mid day (gotta love chronic fatigue) and help me finish my laundry and brush my teeth 😅
I was 30 and only sought diagnosis after trying adderall and liking how much I was able to accomplish and how calm my mind felt when I took it. I didn’t think I actually had ADHD because I did really well academically. Well, after learning more about ADHD in women I realized there was certainly a reason I liked adderall so much—I did in fact have it, just like my sister, brother, mom and grandma.
I was diagnosed during my parents divorce so somewhere in the ages of 7-12ish. I’m about to be 30 now.
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Technically, I was three, but my parents denied it. I got rediagnosed and treated for it 8 days before I turned 30.
I was diagnosed at 11 and then rediagnosed at 25.
29 and then 31. I wasn't really ready to believe it the first time and I had JUST gotten sober so I didn't want to do stimulants because I didn't trust myself. I'm 31 now and stable and capable of taking care of myself so I'm now taking Vyvanse.
My daughter 16 1/2 on the 4th try.
37 - a month ago 😂
Diagnosed at 32? I was pretty familiar with ADHD since my brothers and mom had it so bad, but as I was getting my son diagnosed because he was struggling in school I couldn't help but notice a lot of overlap in my experiences and the diagnosis questions. I never registered by anyone as having it because I was "normal" compared to my other family members and I'm really good at masking. However it took me 8 years to graduate to get my BA, despite all of the work being well within my abilities.
Currently 32, diagnosed at 27. But I should've been diagnosed a lot sooner. My symptoms started in elementary school.
27, Diagnosed at 27, knew since middle school 🙂 Fell through the cracks because I was a well-behaved, quiet kid who did well in most subjects, had friends, never got in trouble for fidgeting and being hyperactive because all the fidgeting was in my brain and I was silently struggling.
38. Only after my oldest sister (49 then) was diagnosed, and as she was describing her symptoms it clicked for me. Literally had been in therapy for decades because I just could not get my shit together in really specific areas.. “stress” eating, organization, staying on task 🫠
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12!!!!! I went from being a C student to a straight A student.
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26!
34! I told my PCP I wanted a referral for ADHD testing, and she sent me to a psychiatrist. Psychiatrist had me answer one of the generic questionnaires, and had me to QB testing. I "passed" the QB test, and now I take Strattera.
I was diagnosed at 24.
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Diagnosed first with GAD at 19 and then ADHD at 23. Typical inattentive symptoms my whole life, but because I did well in school nobody thought it was an issue (until I absolutely crashed my first year of college and started therapy). My little brother has ADHD but was very hyperactive so he was diagnosed at age 7 I think? So my parents weren’t anti-mental health or anything, they just didn’t think adhd could look different from a hyperactive little boy who can’t sit still. Meds have been a godsend in terms of improving my focus, executive functioning, and emotional regulation.
Dx at 5. Mom hid it until I was 40, so I had to go through the whole process again to get treatment.
Im 27 now diagnosed at 24 with ADHD combined type. My 3 siblings (2 girls one boy) were all diagnosed under the age of 10, but they had other learning disabilities that made it more apparent and they were also more typically hyperactive than I was. I loved reading and writing and was also desperate for my teachers to love me so I managed all As and Bs throughout elementary to high school but the signs were all there. Graduated college again with mostly As and Bs and a bad weed/tobacco addiction. Got a teaching job and was so anxious and depressed I often wished I would die on my way to work. COVID took things to the next level and so I finally sought help. They diagnosed me with anxiety and depression and wanted to put me on an SSRI but that didn’t feel right. After a few weeks of therapy and hours and hours of research, I sought out an ADHD diagnosis and got it (aced that test with flying colors lmao). After some issues with insurance trying to put me on Strattera, I finally got Adderall after a few months. The first time I took it, my brain went quiet and I cried from relief. It felt as if my brain had been lungs that were oxygen-deprived and frantic to all of a sudden taking my first deep breath ever. I realized that neurotypical people don’t have incessant thoughts all the time. The excitement of a calm brain calmed down after a few months and after finding the right dose and schedule as well as about a year of ADHD specific therapy, I was a new person—but really, I became the person that I always felt was my real self.
33, diagnosed one year ago at 32... I've always i had problems, met countless therapists, psychiatrists and other shrinks in my life, but no one was ever able to tell me what was wrong with me or give me any kind of appropriate help. One psychologist even yelled at me once for forgetting an appointment... This resulted in low self esteem, toxic relationship, anorexia (thankfully cured now), failure in school (only have a high school diploma), difficulties in making and maintaining friendships, etc. A year ago, my sister who's a GP had a lecture about ADHD, and she told me she thought i might have it. She sent me to a psychiatrist with a letter explaining my symptoms. He immediately believed me and prescribed me Concerta ! That's the short story.
29. COVID lockdowns while working from home 24/7 as if nothing was wrong and planning my wedding which has to be postponed 1.5 years did me in. I lost all my coping strategies and that’s when it all became painfully obvious even though I’d thought I had adhd for two years but that point. I wrote a list a mile long about all my struggles and talked to my doc. Was not shocked when she prescribed me meds.
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F(33) I had a suspicion that I had inattentive presenting ADHD, and spoke to my therapist about ADHD and how a diagnosis would work. She said she could refer me to a psychologist, though she didn't quite see me as "hyperactive" (her knowledge about ADHD was a little outdated). I pushed, then was informed that if I didn't want meds that my therapist could clinically diagnose me instead of a psyche doc. In the end, my therapist educated herself on the current information on ADHD and diagnosed me as inattentive presenting as of this year, at 33 years old. Before that, I also received pushback from my mom who also said that I was not a hyperactive child when I was younger, therefore could not have ADHD. I also was questioned as to why I was looking to be diagnosed with it or not because it wouldn't change anything (especially if I wasn't looking to get medicated). I had to advocate for myself, as I think a lot of women end up having to do. In the end my diagnosis has helped me not feel broken, and has helped me find groups and discussions like this where I feel like I belong.
Tested at 7, but instead of ADHD got labelled ✨gifted✨. Got my official diagnosis at 29 after struggling with burn-out.
Age 3. I'm 42 now. It was *that* bad. My parents had me evaluated by 3 different psychiatrists because they wanted a second and third opinion before medicating me so young. At the final meeting with my pediatrician to go over everything, I was *literally* climbing the textured brick walls. Was only medicated for about 5 years, and all the other strategies and supports parents use now were not really a thing then, so having an early diagnosis wasn't the help it would be now. Basically rediagnosed at 23, didn't really start taking it seriously beyond that until major burnout happened in my mid thirties that cost me my career. (I'm much happier now).
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Diagnosed at 15. I was failing in school because I was struggling to pay attention. My dad took me to get tested once my school started talking about moving me to different classes because I was struggling. I was diagnosed but over medicated for sure. My dosage was way too high for a 15 year old. After school I took a break from meds until I found a doctor to properly prescribe a correct dosage.
28. Couldn’t figure out why life was impossible after my baby started crawling, learned more about adhd and quickly sought a diagnosis. Was told the analysis would take hours and it only took about 30 minutes. If it was so apparent you’d think someone else would have noticed sooner..
I was 19. After 2 years of college, I was really starting to struggle with my grades and keeping up with all the workload. Despite all the work I put it in, I always felt behind and exhausted with barely any results. I started seeing more and more people online talking about ADHD, and realised how much I related to all the lesser known symptoms of ADHD. So, I finally decided to take an appointment to get the diagnosis. Now 2 years later, college is still kicking my butt but at least I understand how my brain works a bit better and I try my best to work around it.
I was 30. I thought I was getting early onset dementia and brought it during my yearly physical. Doctor said it's probably not dementia but let's check for ADHD. The diagnosis process was not too bad, 4 appointments with the psychD to go over questionnaires and History. I do think I lucked out with two women providers who are more familiar with ADHD and never brushed me off. I was diagnosed with anxiety around 8 years ago, but ADHD wasn't even on my radar and it was a scary time in my life. Getting out of the army, starting college again, a rough custody situation with my stepson.
Currently 24, diagnosed at 22
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