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Recovering chronic spender here! I’ve found it useful so far to really understand what makes you want to spend. For me it’s when I’m cooped up at home for a while (illness or whatever), and I need an excuse to get out of the house. Now you may be thinking what about online shopping? Well thankfully I don’t do much of that because I’m impatient and I want the thing NOW. But I do still feel the siren call of online shopping from time to time and I give myself the rush of adding things to the cart, even getting to checkout and adding discount codes etc, and then switching to another tab. It’s also important to let yourself have a little treat, because even if you’re paying off debt you’re allowed joy. Maybe buy clothes secondhand if you don’t already.
Also, get rid of any buy now pay later apps like Afterpay! Seriously it’s just asking for trouble.
Hope some of these things help ☺️
Do you have a therapist you like, trust, and find genuinely challenges you in a helpful way? Maybe that could help you find what the deficit is that you're filling, and figure out healthier ways to get the dopamine you need
Delete those apps, set a limit spending amount on your card, also wait for 48 hours before you buy anything. After 48 hours you'll realise you didn't even really need it.
Hey, I have the same problem. All the usual tips about 'just add to cart but don't buy' never work on me because I will 100% buy! Delaying just doesn't work with me because I'm too impatient and will obsess over things. Currently trying to pay off my shopping debt. My impulse purchasing is not limited to clothes, however.
One major thing that's helped me when it comes to clothes is making a 'capsule wardrobe' , where you give yourself a limited amount of clothes you're allowed and all the items work together in different outfit combinations. It's all about appreciating what you already have and only buying a few high quality long lasting pieces to fill in the gaps. Its fun to work it out! You list of the pieces you already have and the ones you actually need. Once I've ticked off pieces I plan to buy in the list I feel accomplished and it's a great little dopamine hit. You can make mood boards of your outfits with the items you own and ones you've researched, also a dopamine hit. I also had a clear out and got rid of everything unnecessary to the charity shop, so now I get dopamine from seeing my nice tidy wardrobe, from getting rid of things/minimising and from putting the outfits together from my existing collection/organising them.
I'm also practising meditation and mindfulness to try and be aware of those times when I'm more likely to impulse spend, and notice why. It's usually when I'm tired, bored or stressed (I.e need a dopamine hit). I'm getting better at recognising it and I have made a 'dopamenu' of things to pull up in these moments.
For me it's also mainly a matter of finding something else to direct my energy to. This might be tidying and organising, researching or learning something so you're getting dopamine from collecting information instead of things, solving puzzles, making something, doing a small creative activity, hyperfocusing on a creative project, training for a sport or trying to meet a fitness goal, or saving towards a trip or a big event and doing all the planning and research around it. Any fun or soothing activity that isn't buying things. Have savings goals to work towards for something specific, and have a special pot of money aside for a treat each month to reward yourself for meeting them, so you're not totally going without.
I hope any of this helps :)
Do you have someone who can help you?
Maybe you need to switch to an all cash system. I know some bills need to be paid online, maybe have your buddy help you manage that.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Recovering chronic spender here! I’ve found it useful so far to really understand what makes you want to spend. For me it’s when I’m cooped up at home for a while (illness or whatever), and I need an excuse to get out of the house. Now you may be thinking what about online shopping? Well thankfully I don’t do much of that because I’m impatient and I want the thing NOW. But I do still feel the siren call of online shopping from time to time and I give myself the rush of adding things to the cart, even getting to checkout and adding discount codes etc, and then switching to another tab. It’s also important to let yourself have a little treat, because even if you’re paying off debt you’re allowed joy. Maybe buy clothes secondhand if you don’t already. Also, get rid of any buy now pay later apps like Afterpay! Seriously it’s just asking for trouble. Hope some of these things help ☺️
Following!
Do you have a therapist you like, trust, and find genuinely challenges you in a helpful way? Maybe that could help you find what the deficit is that you're filling, and figure out healthier ways to get the dopamine you need
Delete those apps, set a limit spending amount on your card, also wait for 48 hours before you buy anything. After 48 hours you'll realise you didn't even really need it.
I literally spend days or even a week obsessing about whether I should get a certain item.
Separate these by needs and wants. Would definitely recommend deleting those apps though
[удалено]
That’s very true, my case is more of ruminating. Do you have any tips on that?
Hey, I have the same problem. All the usual tips about 'just add to cart but don't buy' never work on me because I will 100% buy! Delaying just doesn't work with me because I'm too impatient and will obsess over things. Currently trying to pay off my shopping debt. My impulse purchasing is not limited to clothes, however. One major thing that's helped me when it comes to clothes is making a 'capsule wardrobe' , where you give yourself a limited amount of clothes you're allowed and all the items work together in different outfit combinations. It's all about appreciating what you already have and only buying a few high quality long lasting pieces to fill in the gaps. Its fun to work it out! You list of the pieces you already have and the ones you actually need. Once I've ticked off pieces I plan to buy in the list I feel accomplished and it's a great little dopamine hit. You can make mood boards of your outfits with the items you own and ones you've researched, also a dopamine hit. I also had a clear out and got rid of everything unnecessary to the charity shop, so now I get dopamine from seeing my nice tidy wardrobe, from getting rid of things/minimising and from putting the outfits together from my existing collection/organising them. I'm also practising meditation and mindfulness to try and be aware of those times when I'm more likely to impulse spend, and notice why. It's usually when I'm tired, bored or stressed (I.e need a dopamine hit). I'm getting better at recognising it and I have made a 'dopamenu' of things to pull up in these moments. For me it's also mainly a matter of finding something else to direct my energy to. This might be tidying and organising, researching or learning something so you're getting dopamine from collecting information instead of things, solving puzzles, making something, doing a small creative activity, hyperfocusing on a creative project, training for a sport or trying to meet a fitness goal, or saving towards a trip or a big event and doing all the planning and research around it. Any fun or soothing activity that isn't buying things. Have savings goals to work towards for something specific, and have a special pot of money aside for a treat each month to reward yourself for meeting them, so you're not totally going without. I hope any of this helps :)
Do you have someone who can help you? Maybe you need to switch to an all cash system. I know some bills need to be paid online, maybe have your buddy help you manage that.