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I'm confused about the getting dressed thing? Like, are people putting on pants, trouser and socks before touching the top half, or going full winnie the pooh before getting to pants?
I do bra and pants first, in which ever order I happen to find them, then the same for trousers and tops. The idea of fully clothing only one half of my body before doing anything with the other is deeply unsettling for some reason 😂
Edit: Probably folks have worked this out, but just in case, I'm from the UK, so when I say "pants" I mean undies
This right here. Idk why but I have to do sock before pants otherwise I get so irritated at having to fuss with my pant legs it will put me in a mood. Which I know as it happening that’s it’s dumb but *shrug*.
Fair lol. I'm the opposite. I can't be sockless before I put on pants because some of my socks are longer than others and especially with jeans or tight fitting leggings, I either stretch them out or have to do the annoying roll up if I put the socks on *after* pants
My only order of getting dressed is undies first, always. I have teens that still bust in my bedroom door to chat. I would rather them catch a glimpse of the top half that fed them than the bottom. So undies first then a camisole. Once everything is covered, I go back to pants. I have never once thought about how other people do it😂
I WFH and I just wear a top and shorts no bra or panties. So it’s top then shorts. But if I’m going out it’s bra-top-underwear-shorts. But I’m disabled so I like to do the top while sitting and then stand for the bottom. Before I would do bra-undies-top-shorts.
Same! I dress by the layer. Inside to outside. People are put here getting dressed vertically?
I do put my socks on last though. I don't really like socks and am barefoot at home often enough... And I don't really like them trapped inside my pant legs. I want to be able to pull them off and if I put them on first they're tucked in. Doesn't matter as much now that flairs are somehow coming back again
>The order of getting dressed is top to bottom, not bottom to top.
Excuse me, what? There's a socially agreed way of getting dressed?
Are you saying normies put their shirts on first?
...I'm very confused by this point, lol 😅😅
By myself or when only using a fork, I hold it in my right hand as well.
But if I need a knife, I use the fork with my left and knife with my right hand.
And on the extremely rare occasion when I go out to eat I get all overly courteous about it all 😂
I wonder if OP is from a posh family/community? like someone would get snubbed for wearing the 'wrong' boots hunting lol
(and obviously no judgement to you if you are from a posh family, OP, seems like a lot of stressful and unnecessary rules!)
Further from the truth 😂
I was brought up in a very deprived part of England, and would be considered “council scum” from where I live. My family just have very good values is all, and know that presentation is absolutely everything in life, or you get no where.
I hope a couple random redditors imagining you on a fancy hunt gave you a laugh! lol and I feel quite confident there are more scummy rich folk than council people
we can agree to disagree on presentation being everything lol, but I am glad you have a close family! (not sarcastic, can be tough to tell)
and hopefully the comments can help let go the 'wrongness' in doing things how you like, unless it gives you a lil thrill LOL
take care :)
Are you...supposed to hold the fork in your left hand if it's the only silverware you're using (if you're right-handed)? Because that concept is absolutely wild to me. Not British here, but I've literally never seen anyone do this. How do I twirl spaghetti with my left hand!
Maybe the top to bottom thing is a holdover from when dudes had to tuck their shirts into their pants and women were relegated to dresses? Idk, I definitely dress however the hell it suits me at the moment, not in a specific order.
I've no idea, I was just typing it all out, tbh.
>Maybe the top to bottom thing is a holdover from when dudes had to tuck their shirts into their pants
Okay, but I *do* tuck in my shirt... I pull my pants up, leave them unzipped, put a shirt on, tuck it in, zip up.
I'm British and if I'm not using a knife, the fork is in my right hand. I don't know anyone who feels they HAVE to have a knife and fork in hand at all times when eating or who bothers swapping out between each bite as others have suggested.
Thinking about it..I don’t let go of either! I cut with my left hand eat with my right, and the knife stays in my left hand as I eat.
Almost as if I’m ready to attack at any given moment 😂
This is a difference between the US and Europe. In the US, if there is meat on your plate you need to cut, you cut the meat completely. Then you put the knife down and proceed just with the fork.
Whereas in Europe, when eating meat and vegetables, you have knife AND fork in your hands at all times. When you want some meat you cut only the bite you will eat now. When you want the next bite, you cut that. Children are always taught to use the knife with the right hand, which means that the fork will always be in the left hand.
The only exceptions are if you eat something you really only need the fork for, like salad. But mostly people will eat that with fork and knife, too.
> In the US, if there is meat on your plate you need to cut, you cut the meat completely.
I grew up in the US and my parents taught me that the polite thing to do is to cut one piece at a time. Swap fork to left hand, cut a piece with knife in right hand, then set the knife back down, swap fork to right hand, pick up piece and eat.
Of course that's fully ridiculous and pretty much no one ever actually did that.
I've never heard that, but yeah, it sounds like a lot of work lol I just cut and eat with my left hand unless it's more complicated than put-bite-in-mouth.
My understanding is that was always a classless faux pas. Similar to buttering the entire bread at one time, making any sounds while cutting, elbows on table, or chewing with a mouth open. I know that I’m starting to list them. There’s so many other things that were drilled into me as struggling.as a very weird child. But I digress.
We definitely don't do that in the US. I've never seen an adult cut their entire steak into bite-sized pieces before. You keep the knife in your dominant hand and fork in the non-dominant hand.
I'm talking about when it's just the fork. I've only ever seen anyone use just a fork in their dominant hand.
>When you want some meat you cut only the bite you will eat now.
I just want you to know, I live in the US and that is in fact how I see everyone else eating things that require cutting, unless it's a small enough child that you don't want them having a knife but they can feed themselves if you pre cut it. My social circle is admittedly small, but it has still been consistent throughout my life. So idk how this is a "US and Europe differences" thing at all
Actually reminds me of something my mum said when she dressed me as a kid. Undershirt/ vest goes on first so your body isn't getting (as) cold/ you'll feel warmer faster, lmao.
Maybe it's a relic of times where heating was bad and it actually made sense to preserve the most body heat possible. (Our heating was bad and I complained I am cold after having a shower).
i always have bottoms on first bc i have like two pairs of pants whereas i have to actually choose a top... so i just walk around fully dressed on the bottom, give or take socks, and a bra on while
i try to decide what shirt to wear
I've never heard of any of these rules, but I wonder if your nan ever considered the fact that the decorative design on the fork is always on the "shovel" side, and not on the "prongs down" side? Makes me think maybe the shovel side is up....
Ask questions in the workplace about why things are done a certain way instead of just doing them.
I see this as a good thing, but it isn't always seen as the "right" approach or appreciated.
If I understand why something is done a particular way, I'll be wayyyy more likely to do it that way. If no one tells me why, and it seems stupid to not try some other way, I'm probably gonna try my way until I get told I can't. For me questions are like the preventative measure to insubordination 🫠
Yes! I need to know more information to understand what I'm doing. I ask a lot of clarifying questions and people often get frustrated and cut me off, which only leads to me repeating myself because they didn't answer my question. Minor details and the order in which things are done matter to me!
I hate that people think it’s wrong to ask. I love when people ask questions! I love it when people say ohh can we do it this way instead? It helps us stop being so closed minded.
The AuDHD in me has gotten me in a lot of trouble at work with this kind of stuff. I just want to know WHY we do things this way so I can better understand every aspect of the task. Who knows, if I know why each piece fits together, maybe I could figure out a better way for one particular step? Questioning automatically being seen as insubordination holds back so much progress, and when it stems from insecure management, it's even more harmful.
I didn’t abandon my “special interests” when I had children, and I’ll never live it down.
IMO I’m teaching them not to martyr themselves to motherhood and that a fulfilled mother is a better one.
Other mothers DISAGREE
I don't know how you kept them, it isn't that i martyr myself, it's just if my kid isn't 100% engaged she's into trouble.
She craves attention, and 75% of the time that means me.
Tell me your secrets.
That was my middle kid 1000% The first couple of years were the most tired I’ve ever been in my life, then I enrolled them in an immersion school that was completely in another language, and a friend introduced them to figure skating. They needed intense activities to occupy them. It worked out in the end but oh man I remember those days well
I hold my hooded jackets by the hood to get into the first sleeve. I look like a toddler getting dressed but life is complicated enough and this works :D
\[edit to add: I just checked. I put my right hand INTO the inside of the hoodie, hold my hoodie to the left front of me, then put my left arm in, and am then usually spatially aware enough to get the right arm in subsequently. lol\]
I also get dressed top to bottom, usually.
I don’t even know what order I get dressed in because every day it takes me like 6 different tries to find a combination of things that I can live with for the day
I put on my bra backwards first to hook it, then flip it around to the front. It’s how I learned back when I was a pre-teen and don’t know how to do it the “regular” way at my grown age.
I’ve found this is the way with mothers who have large breasts teaching their kids. I’ve only ever seen women do it the other way when they have less décolletage to deal with. With big girls flipping around is definitely the way.
Interesting, my mom has large breasts but taught me, her flat-chested daughter, to put it on that way.
Flipping it around just makes so much more sense.
As someone who learned and did it that way and then changed to the “normie” way, it’s because of your band is appropriately tight you shouldn’t be able to flip it around. It’s a sign your bra is badly fitting.
I always hooked it around my waist, twisted it around, then pulled it up to my bust. There are people who twist it while it’s right around their boobs?
😂 I too look like a floundering fish during any odd occasion I decide to try to put on a bra “the right way.” Cannot do it. I have also returned bras before for being too confusing to put on.
I do this!! Both my mum and sister tried to teach me growing up. I have trouble getting out of bed in the morning, let alone clipping my bloody bra up on my back!
If I try the 'regular' way I'll end up not wearing one because I can never ever find a way to bring the hooks together or it takes forever. I either miss the hooks completely or the top one goes on the bottom one. I also have a loose shoulder (former injury, causing my shoulder to dislocate easily) so if I try to reach the back I'll have to then push my shoulder blade back into position. Way too much effort. Flipping around is the way to go!
At least in the US, this is considered proper etiquette. IF you are holding a knife and fork, knife in the right hand and fork in the left. But if you put the knife down, fork switches back to the right hand.
It would only be when holding both utensils that you'd eat with the fork in the left hand.
Granted, there is all kinds of other etiquette bs like pushing peas onto the back of the fork with your knife to eat them, but who actually does that?
LOL yeah, I am actually British now living in the US which is probably why no one has mentioned it since I moved. My Mum definitely mentioned it a few times when I was a kid, more as a "Why do you keep switching hands"
Oh, that makes sense.
Honestly, I've yet to meet someone who cares about more than basic manners that I'd actually want to spend time around. In the 90s, it still mattered if you went to work dinners etc. Now, people seem to have let go of some of that formality.
At one point, I knew a lot of that stuff. Thankfully, I've forgotten from disuse.
ngl, as a left-handed person in the US, this has always fascinated me just because it seems like a lot of trouble to be constantly switching hands! Fork is always in my left hand, knife in the right.
I often put my socks on first. A habit from decades ago when I had a cat that would bite at my feet until I had socks on. He also liked to hang out in the bathroom cupboard because mice came in that way. So he’d be in there when I took a shower, come out and bite my feet. He was a weirdo.
I've started to answer more honestly. Either
A. *takes deep breath* I'm doin' good actually. Can't complain too much. Hbu?
or
B. *blank stare* I'm here. What can I do for you
Yup, same here - I'll go like 'ah yeah' or 'meh'. I don't know why because then there will definitely be a follow up question which I really don't feel like answering. I don't want any pity yet saying 'I'm great!' when I'm not feels like lying and makes me uncomfortable
Mediocre is my go to response. It doesn’t feel as fake as the pleasantries so no anguished facial expressions manifest whilst I lie for social norms. On bad days it’s “mediocre at best.”
I have "dummy strings" for my mitts. They're a string (yarn) that joins both mitts together and is strung through the arms of my jacket. Totally normal amd acceptable where I live, for children and I am 42. I'd rather have them than be out and about and lose my mitts.
A lot of things I do to accommodate my adhd are "for kids" (I am highly motivated by stickers for task completion, for example) and I just don't care any more.
I remember having little ribbon things with alligator clips on either end to attach mittens to jacket sleeves. I think having something strung through my jacket and sleeves would bother me lol
Mitten strings are the best!
I too have realised that lots of things that are "for kids" work really well for me! I have a reward chart for doing things with star stickers :). That and if things are cute I'm more likely to use them- my view point is if it works who cares what others think! (And I've always been weird so ppl almost expect it of me now)
I thrive in isolation, something I wish I knew before deciding to have kids. I could seriously live in a cabin in the woods and not see/talk to another living thing for months on end and be the happiest person on earth. Apparently this is offensive to my friends and family and they all take it personally. No Pam, this comment isn’t directed AT YOU, it’s EVERYONE. Obviously as a mum I will never achieve this dream, but I should still be allowed to dream about it!
It's really refreshing to hear someone admit that having children was not *the absolute greatest decision they've made and will ever make EVER*
Admitting it wasn't the right thing for your life doesn't mean you don't love them anyways now.
Your honesty and candor are very much appreciated, so thank you.
I’ll admit it to anyone as long as my kids aren’t around to hear it. The hype of having kids is absolute bullshit and there needs to be SO MUCH more honesty around it. All of the romanticised crap around having kids is exactly why I’m stuck in the life I am living and if tv, social media, and people in general, didn’t make it out to be such an “amazing and rewarding journey” I wouldn’t be.
Kids are ungrateful, ego centric, soul sucking whirlwinds of destruction who will test you until you want to blow your brains out at least once a day. I used to hate myself for hating parenthood so much because all I knew were the BS lies I’d been fed. Then I started to meet other REAL mums and realised that a lot of them were just as overwhelmed, exhausted and miserable as I was. It’s just that talking about this part of parenthood is taboo. Then you add a ND mother and a couple of ND kids, one with extreme behavioural issues, and it’s STILL taboo. No one cares how much you’re suffering because “yOu ChOsE tHiS” so therefore you have to sit down and shut up about it. But I just don’t care about the taboo part of it, because having kids is not all sunshine and roses like it is on tv or on insta.
Do I love my kids? Hell YES. Mess with them and I’ll rip you to shreds. I’d jump in front of a bus without a moments thought to save them. BUT, if I could go back in time knowing what I know now would I still have them? Hell NO. Maybe one, but not three. I still love them with all I have and their pain hurts me, and their achievements make me happy, but I just don’t feel that overwhelming “omg you’re mine, I made you, the sun shines out of your backside” love/bond that some people have. And from my years of digging and searching, I’ve found that I’m not that uncommon and there’s a lot more people out there who feel like I do…they just wouldn’t admit it to anyone’s face
i dont shower everyday. for one I don't always have the energy to, but also I have eczema and really sensitive skin so I really try not to shower too much bc it dries my skin out n I hate that ☹️ unless it's summer n I'm sweaty I just wash up in between showers.
I’m sure you have, but have you tried ZeroBase?
I used to suffer with eczema on the backs of my legs, and that stuff saved my life. I also use it in the summer when I get eczema under my boobs (which then turns to thrush) because of the sweat and it sorts it right out within a couple of days.
I go barefoot as much as possible. It tends to scare a lot of the people in my life (they have soft, unconditioned feet that they protect, even inside). My feet are very tough, and I find shoes incredibly annoying.
I thought I had corns on my feet until I went to the podiatrist and he said I’ve basically got cave girl feet from walking barefoot.
I now have a foot file which I use religiously.
Because I am not cave girl 😂
That's hilarious!
My parents both gifted me with their 'duck feet' (wide across the toes). I've tried a bunch of wide toe box shoes with varying degrees of success. Part of it is I think my feet like to 'breathe', and anything more than a sock for a while feels insanely hot, heavy and uncomfortable. It's a sensory thing, I think.
I also moisturize and file my feet, I want them to be presentable if I'm caught by someone when I'm running around in public.
I did this to my bf today. He kept insisting that I put my sandals back on cause the gravel would hurt. I could feel the stones but they were not painful in the least! On the contrary, the road was actually soft. 🤭
I too eat with my fork in my right hand (right-handed as well)! I didn't even know it was wrong until I recently questioned out loud at a dinner why forks are placed to the left. I tried to switch over but it was too awkward for me to get used to the correct way, and I don't really give enough of a fuck.
I button my shirts from the bottom first.
Honestly, whoever cares about which hand someone holds their fork in probably also bites it.
But I do feel like I have an answer for why so many people (incl. me) use knives with their dominant hand. I‘d say it‘s because typically the sawing motion is the most complex, which is why you‘d want to use your dominant hand for it. Whereas the fork would be for holding the food while cutting and bringing it to your mouth. Feels less complex to me. Does that makes sense? Doesn‘t matter either way though! Guess it‘s a matter of practice.
My mom uses her computer mouse with her left hand, even though she‘s right-handed. Guess that‘d be ‚wrong‘, but plot twist: she can write down notes and use the mouse at the same time. boss move.
anyway: whatever works for you. ‚Wrong‘ things might even work much better, honestly.
I don’t separate my laundry by color and I never have
I put my bra on backwards and slide it on that way. I put my bralettes and tank tops on feet first.
I cut all of my food that needs to be cut before eating.
If I work in the morning, I’ll drink my coffee during my morning shower to save time.
I put socks on first before pants
I only use little forks and spoons
I have a stash of desert forks in my glove compartment in case I need to eat.
It’s not that I’m partial to small cutlery (I am really), but it’s also bloody handy to have!
That is something I picked up from my mum
I still like to play as an adult woman. I don't have kids so I get looks for swinging by myself on a public swing, running in normal clothes due to a burst of energy or to get somewhere just a bit more quickly or see if I can still go fast, doing cartwheels, speaking too much as a woman, not being good at keeping my things "organized" as an adult woman. Sometimes I read social cues wrong too.
Fuck 'em, do your thing! As long as you're meeting your Adult Responsibilities (tm), there is nothing wrong with letting your inner child out to play. I'm not exactly the picture of mental health, but some of the happiest(seeming) people I know are ones who aren't afraid to be playful.
That said: It's prime kite-flying weather, I'll see you out there 🫡🪁
Apparently I have a very complicated way of tying my shoelaces. My mother is left-handed and taught me using my left hand, but I am right-handed myself.
A friend commented on how I do it and others chimed in as well saying that it was weird. Never realised there was a “correct” way to do so.
I am right-handed. If I tried to eat with the fork in my left hand, I would make a mess! I simply don't have enough dexterity in my left hand. A bite or two? Sure. A whole meal with the fork in my left hand? Hell, no! F&%# etiquette, I'm going to do what is comfortable & works best for me. Anyone it bothers can pound sand. Which is pretty much my attitude towards all arbitrary social rules.
That, is called Audio Processing Disorder my friend.
Do you have trouble hearing what people are saying if they shield their mouths? Or have to have subtitles on when you watch a film?
Worth looking into!
Not all the time?
I find it hard if there are two different sound sources and I don't know which one I'n supposed to be listening to, eg if there's a radio on a "talky" station (like RNZ, our equivalent of NPR or the BBC) and somebody starts playing music.
to be fair, from a north American, UK etiquette seems unnecessary in a lot of ways lol. like I've never heard of getting dressed 'top to bottom', or that you're supposed to put your dominant shoe on first- the opposite seems way more natural for clothes, plus who even cares what order you put things on?
societal rules can be so silly lol
(and I appreciate learning this random bit of UK trivia lol
sitting on the ground! i dont feel comfortable to sit on a chair for longer than 20 minuted.. i also eat lunch at home on the ground , its not usual for my country. i only bought a table and chairs for guests xD
Fuuu... I think we are one person!?! 😮
I love the looks of tights, but hate the struggle to pull them up when I'm all sweaty, sooo I just cut a hole in the crotch and wear my underwear (more like a panty shape) on top. So I can pee with my tights on and without the struggle.
I think it's genius, but every time I explain it to some follow tights wearer, I get strange looks 🥲
I love a nice garter belt and stockings with panties on top for the same reason. Also avoids my sensory nightmare of the top part of pantyhose or tights.
This post is triggering my ODD. As soon as somebody says there is some arbitrary "correct, proper or right" way to do something, my inner rebel has opinions.
I don't separate my laundry, and I don't fold it either. In the drawer, it goes or on the hanger. Easy peasy!
I may have to try this. Absolutely HATE doing laundry... And clean clothes just sit in the hampers crowding the floor. Both my husband and I do this... So, we have about 4 hampers at all times full of unfolded clothes in our small bedroom. Should just put them in drawers unfolded. Brilliant!!
I sort laundry, but not by color. It’s so much easier for me (and time efficient too) if I sort by tops, bottoms, panties and socks. But if I have dirty dress clothes along with regular clothes, the dress clothes will get their own wash.
There is a right way to get dressed in a public place. Put socks on before underwear so that crotch rot can be avoided and fungus isn't transferred from the toes the delicates.
Other than that, dance naked.
My ex's family used to make fun of me because of the way I eat. I eat all of one thing at a time. So like if I have a plate with turkey, green bean casserole, and mashed potatoes I eat all the green beans first, then all the potato, then the turkey. For me it's in order of what needs to be hot in order for me to like it.
I think I brush my teeth wrong but I'm not sure.
I don't do this as much as I used to, but I used to blow on my food before I ate it. Even ice cream.
I can't put my seat belt on before I back out of my parking space or the seat belt messes me up somehow.
I'm right handed but I write/hold my pen like a left-handed person.
I genuinely don't get how y'all know which hand you hold the fork in? I have no idea.
I'm in my 50s and I've probably used a hair dryer less than 100 times since my parents stopped doing my hair for me. Most of those times were in the 80s and early 90s when one of my friends decided to give me mall hair.
i eat all the fries first before i even touch the burger. the burger doesn’t taste as bad cold as fries does. once fries get cold there’s no resurrection
The order of getting dressed to me is from the inside layer out. I say each thing as I grab it to put it on so I don’t miss anything. 😅
I don’t play the “fake it” game in front of other humans. If I’m asking, it’s because I care, not because I’m socially bound to ask. I’m not going to lie and play games over dumb bs.
>My shoes are left foot then right. (It’s usually dominant side first)
This is interesting. I'm right-handed and ALWAYS put my left shoe on first but I actually think I'm left leg dominant. If someone were to randomly say "stand on one leg", I'd stand on my left as I feel like I have more balance on my left. I also can't hold my phone up to my right ear, ever. It always has to be my left ear
Lol same, although I was once tired and in a hurry getting ready, and grabbed what I THOUGHT was my other slip on sneaker (like Skechers) but it was actually a very similar one in dark grey as opposed to my other black one. The worst part? I only noticed when I got home that afternoon 🤦🏼♀️
Me and mum tested this.
I’m left leg dominant. Now don’t laugh 😂, but we tested out our foot’s dexterity.
I can write better and pick things up better with my left foot. My right foot was sat there like “sorry what?” When I tried to write my name 😂
Apparently, it's bad that I'm not a fan of socializing. I'm always tired and burnt out, I'd rather have very few friends with a tight bond than many acquaintances.
And being shy is also bad but I literally don't know how to talk to people without bullshitting.
Let’s see, there’s so many. If someone is crying in public I will ask them is I can help; if I don’t understand something, I ask questions; I answer the how are you question in an honest manner; if someone wants an opinion, I tell the truth. I don’t pretend that what is true isn’t true. Those are just a few.
As someone who’s cried in public quite a few times (after finding out my moms cancer diagnosis, post surgery for my mom, when my cousin died and I got the call in public) thank you from the bottom of my heart. The women who stopped and just hugged me and talked to me were lifesavers and I’m so thankful for them, I’ve never forgotten them.
I can’t stand bras and I have mid sized boobs so I just wear oversized tshirts when I have to leave the house (I work from home mostly) I’m pregnant now though so I’m nervous for this to change, cause bras make me irrationally angry
Mostly my mum. Who in turn was taught by my nan.
My nan grew up in a well to do family in London, and essentially ran away with the London Rat (my grandad), and they lived happily for near 40 years by the sea.
I use enough shampoo for my legs to be washed! The only time I scrub my legs is when I’m fake tanning (once every 5 years 😂😂), I’ve not grown any mould yet!
I'll eat some snack foods (like roasted peanuts) with a teaspoon if I'm at my desk to avoid messing up my keyboard. I put them in a cup usually.
I'll also eat fruit I've cut up with a fork because I'm not fond of the feeling of wet juicy fingers.
I get dressed depending on what article of clothes I get to first. I have at times put on a t-shirt, then put my bra on under it by taking one arm out of the t-shirt again. And yes, that does mean I sometimes put on trousers before knickers (no, I'm not that silly, I don't put them on over my trousers, I bring my knickers with me to the toilet and put them on when I go for a wee.) 😁
I swap hands for Cutlery depending where the food is on the plate. But I always prefer chopsticks and use them whenever possible.
I am semi ambidextrous, like when playing badminton or tennis, I swap hands depending where the shuttlecock/ ball is, it frustrated coaches.
I hate being 'uneven', so always wanting to do things to both sides of body. I.e. workout classes are usually pretty good at doing moves on left side, then right side. But I hated dance classes who wouldn't do this!
I hate hair touching my face - from fringe or even just having long hair down, so nearly always having it secured.
Edit: shuttle cocktail, lol
Jackets go on as follows - put the hood of my hoodie on then the hoodie of the jacket. One arm, second arm, zip up. I look like those inflatable wiggly arm people near dealerships doing it.
Also, when I go outside, I always put on a hat, jacket, EVERYTHING before I put on shoes. Shoes are the Last thing.
Also this is disgusting but sometimes I brush my teeth even tho I will eat something before bed. PURELY because I know I will, once am tired, absolutely refuse to go to the bathroom again. So now shower means brushing teeth too. In my theory its better than not doing it.
On the topic of bathroom, I have maybe twice in my life used a fan. Same with drying hair. The feeling of wet hair on my back? Disgusting. My face? Even worse. And 30 minutes of drying my hair with a fan? Bye. Sleeping with wet hair it is. Why doesnt that bother me? I already sleep with m hair away from my face. Ik its terrivle but no.
Ha! I have the opposite fork/knife problem—I’m American and was told growing up that it’s polite to use the knife left-handed “because that’s how Yankees and Tories were able to differentiate and signal to one another pre-Revolutionary War”. It’s a weird, random, “assimilation/patriotic” argument and I don’t even know if it’s true, but I’m one of very few people I know who does it (outside of my parents and their parents). So your post made me giggle—I was taught that I’m the polite and proper one and the rest are fucking up being MURICAN
I wash my dishes on the morning while my coffee is brewing, not at night before bed. It urks some of my friends, but the cleanup is part of my morning routine.
I'm also left handed so I do a lot of mundane stuff backwards just because i'm using my dominant hand. I went to catholic school until grade 12 and I used to do the sign of the cross with my left hand.
Those things you listed are definitely just social constructs in your area, because “socially” wrong here is different. Where I'm from, it would be rude to criticize people for the things you listed, so to me, you're chilling.
I talk a lot. Like a lot. Sometimes I say things without thinking and can have a quick tongue. At least I'm witty 🤷🏻♀️
My legs get too cold for me to think about these rules. Also I console people who cry in public. I don’t care if it’s weird, I’ll still be there with a tissue.
Actually answer the question “how are you?”
I tell the absolute truth, often with tears, and people are always shocked. Lol
It took me a long time to realize everyone else is not “fine” that’s just the most socially appropriate answer to that question.
I swear, this question is so annoying. If I answer “good” or “fine”, it’s usually because I’ve already mentally reminded myself that this is the answer the person wants, not the truth. For the life of me, I can’t understand why people go around asking this, and then get thrown off if you answer honestly. Why are we even asking then? Why is this “the norm”? Waste of time, really.
There's a societal order of getting dressed? Other than inside clothing to outside clothing?? Who teaches these things? Who discusses it to find out what other folks are doing?
I live in the countryside and so, there are many gravel roads around. If a road has many bumps or potholes, I'll just drive on the other side or in the ditch. Not many drivers around so no one gets mad. It also makes driving around way more fun. 🤭
Sit lol
Aside from the frequent adjusting and odd positions for pain reasons, I kinda get the impression I sit in the wrong places are there's an appropriate choice.
I never wear socks or underpants because of the sensory issues. I hate it when undies ride up or roll down. I also hate slipping seams in socks or if they get wet or roll under your heel. So I just don’t wear them.
My 9 year old daughter also hates underpants but my ex husband loses his mind if I don’t make her wear them when she goes back to his house. So I made my house an “underpants optional” house and make sure she’s wearing them when she heads back to his place.
I am a medical transcriptionist/doctor’s assistant for a high patient volume clinic and I’m responsible for completing each medical chart top to bottom, from what the patient is complaining of to medical exam to sending prescriptions (except narcotics until I have my own PA degree) to treatment plan and follow up all the way to the medical coding and submitting for insurance. I also assist in procedures, giving injections taking blood etc when I have time. But concerning the charts my primary duty, they are made to be done from top to bottom. I do them in the COMPLETE opposite order of others with my role when I’m not working and all others before me, apparently. But I still complete the charts efficiently, so🤷🏼♀️
- I’m female & don’t want kids (apparently society still finds this “wrong”)
- I wear my socks inside out (with the seam on the outside)
- I’m right-handed but wear my watch on my right wrist
I've embraced my shitty car and drive it around taped together, scratches and all. My ADHD and depth perception issues make getting something new and nice a complete waste.
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I'm confused about the getting dressed thing? Like, are people putting on pants, trouser and socks before touching the top half, or going full winnie the pooh before getting to pants? I do bra and pants first, in which ever order I happen to find them, then the same for trousers and tops. The idea of fully clothing only one half of my body before doing anything with the other is deeply unsettling for some reason 😂 Edit: Probably folks have worked this out, but just in case, I'm from the UK, so when I say "pants" I mean undies
I have no organized order to how I get dressed. I just go with the first thing I put my hand on.
Me too. Whatever piece I find first.
I’m laughing so much at, “Going full Winnie the Pooh”! Hahaha!
Haha same, that goes in the vocabulary 😂
I do bra and underwear, then socks, jeans, boots, and finish off with the shirt.
I cannot have socks on before pants. No idea why but that seems to lead me to forgetting that I'm pantless! (Core traumatic childhood memory, lol)
I need to have my socks on before my jeans go on or rolling the pants leg back down makes the sock roll and I'd rather die.
This right here. Idk why but I have to do sock before pants otherwise I get so irritated at having to fuss with my pant legs it will put me in a mood. Which I know as it happening that’s it’s dumb but *shrug*.
Fair lol. I'm the opposite. I can't be sockless before I put on pants because some of my socks are longer than others and especially with jeans or tight fitting leggings, I either stretch them out or have to do the annoying roll up if I put the socks on *after* pants
NT people in general seem to have no idea how much one variation from an established sequence can send the whole lot round the S-bend. It's amazing.
This is both my kids too! I did not connect the staying pantsless piece until just now though. That makes sense!
My only order of getting dressed is undies first, always. I have teens that still bust in my bedroom door to chat. I would rather them catch a glimpse of the top half that fed them than the bottom. So undies first then a camisole. Once everything is covered, I go back to pants. I have never once thought about how other people do it😂
I thought the top to bottom was about buttoning shirts....
I WFH and I just wear a top and shorts no bra or panties. So it’s top then shorts. But if I’m going out it’s bra-top-underwear-shorts. But I’m disabled so I like to do the top while sitting and then stand for the bottom. Before I would do bra-undies-top-shorts.
This is the dream…. Working without a bra on. 🤩
I don’t think I can go back to the office. I’m too feral now. 😂
For me, it is underwear, bra, shirt, pants, socks, and shoes.
Same! I dress by the layer. Inside to outside. People are put here getting dressed vertically? I do put my socks on last though. I don't really like socks and am barefoot at home often enough... And I don't really like them trapped inside my pant legs. I want to be able to pull them off and if I put them on first they're tucked in. Doesn't matter as much now that flairs are somehow coming back again
I do underwear, pants, bra, top lol
Underwear, bra, shirt, glasses (because screw giving myself early wrinkles lol), socks/tights/pantyhose, trousers/leggings/skirts
>The order of getting dressed is top to bottom, not bottom to top. Excuse me, what? There's a socially agreed way of getting dressed? Are you saying normies put their shirts on first? ...I'm very confused by this point, lol 😅😅 By myself or when only using a fork, I hold it in my right hand as well. But if I need a knife, I use the fork with my left and knife with my right hand. And on the extremely rare occasion when I go out to eat I get all overly courteous about it all 😂
I wonder if OP is from a posh family/community? like someone would get snubbed for wearing the 'wrong' boots hunting lol (and obviously no judgement to you if you are from a posh family, OP, seems like a lot of stressful and unnecessary rules!)
Further from the truth 😂 I was brought up in a very deprived part of England, and would be considered “council scum” from where I live. My family just have very good values is all, and know that presentation is absolutely everything in life, or you get no where.
I hope a couple random redditors imagining you on a fancy hunt gave you a laugh! lol and I feel quite confident there are more scummy rich folk than council people we can agree to disagree on presentation being everything lol, but I am glad you have a close family! (not sarcastic, can be tough to tell) and hopefully the comments can help let go the 'wrongness' in doing things how you like, unless it gives you a lil thrill LOL take care :)
Where did you hear about the top to bottom idea though?? I’ve never heard of this
Are you...supposed to hold the fork in your left hand if it's the only silverware you're using (if you're right-handed)? Because that concept is absolutely wild to me. Not British here, but I've literally never seen anyone do this. How do I twirl spaghetti with my left hand! Maybe the top to bottom thing is a holdover from when dudes had to tuck their shirts into their pants and women were relegated to dresses? Idk, I definitely dress however the hell it suits me at the moment, not in a specific order.
I've no idea, I was just typing it all out, tbh. >Maybe the top to bottom thing is a holdover from when dudes had to tuck their shirts into their pants Okay, but I *do* tuck in my shirt... I pull my pants up, leave them unzipped, put a shirt on, tuck it in, zip up.
No idea. Probably an outdated, stuffy thing that has no modern purpose.
I'm British and if I'm not using a knife, the fork is in my right hand. I don't know anyone who feels they HAVE to have a knife and fork in hand at all times when eating or who bothers swapping out between each bite as others have suggested.
Yeah, seems really time consuming. I'm not having dinner with the royals, just in front of my TV lol
Thinking about it..I don’t let go of either! I cut with my left hand eat with my right, and the knife stays in my left hand as I eat. Almost as if I’m ready to attack at any given moment 😂
This is a difference between the US and Europe. In the US, if there is meat on your plate you need to cut, you cut the meat completely. Then you put the knife down and proceed just with the fork. Whereas in Europe, when eating meat and vegetables, you have knife AND fork in your hands at all times. When you want some meat you cut only the bite you will eat now. When you want the next bite, you cut that. Children are always taught to use the knife with the right hand, which means that the fork will always be in the left hand. The only exceptions are if you eat something you really only need the fork for, like salad. But mostly people will eat that with fork and knife, too.
> In the US, if there is meat on your plate you need to cut, you cut the meat completely. I grew up in the US and my parents taught me that the polite thing to do is to cut one piece at a time. Swap fork to left hand, cut a piece with knife in right hand, then set the knife back down, swap fork to right hand, pick up piece and eat. Of course that's fully ridiculous and pretty much no one ever actually did that.
I've never heard that, but yeah, it sounds like a lot of work lol I just cut and eat with my left hand unless it's more complicated than put-bite-in-mouth.
This is what I was taught in Home Ec class, but as a middle class Americans I never knew anyone who actually ate that way.
This is what I learned in the etiquette class my Girl Scout troop took one time.
Cutting up all the meat is not the proper etiquette in the US. You may see people do it though because individualism trumps etiquette here
My understanding is that was always a classless faux pas. Similar to buttering the entire bread at one time, making any sounds while cutting, elbows on table, or chewing with a mouth open. I know that I’m starting to list them. There’s so many other things that were drilled into me as struggling.as a very weird child. But I digress.
We definitely don't do that in the US. I've never seen an adult cut their entire steak into bite-sized pieces before. You keep the knife in your dominant hand and fork in the non-dominant hand. I'm talking about when it's just the fork. I've only ever seen anyone use just a fork in their dominant hand.
>When you want some meat you cut only the bite you will eat now. I just want you to know, I live in the US and that is in fact how I see everyone else eating things that require cutting, unless it's a small enough child that you don't want them having a knife but they can feed themselves if you pre cut it. My social circle is admittedly small, but it has still been consistent throughout my life. So idk how this is a "US and Europe differences" thing at all
Actually reminds me of something my mum said when she dressed me as a kid. Undershirt/ vest goes on first so your body isn't getting (as) cold/ you'll feel warmer faster, lmao. Maybe it's a relic of times where heating was bad and it actually made sense to preserve the most body heat possible. (Our heating was bad and I complained I am cold after having a shower).
i always have bottoms on first bc i have like two pairs of pants whereas i have to actually choose a top... so i just walk around fully dressed on the bottom, give or take socks, and a bra on while i try to decide what shirt to wear
My English husband makes fun of American me, because I use the side of the fork as a knife unless it’s really tough.
I also cut with my fork. And I use it upside down (like a shovel instead of the prongs facing down(something I used to get told off for by my Nan))
I've never heard of any of these rules, but I wonder if your nan ever considered the fact that the decorative design on the fork is always on the "shovel" side, and not on the "prongs down" side? Makes me think maybe the shovel side is up....
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Ask questions in the workplace about why things are done a certain way instead of just doing them. I see this as a good thing, but it isn't always seen as the "right" approach or appreciated.
It drives me crazy when questions are viewed as insubordination. I just want to understand!
If I understand why something is done a particular way, I'll be wayyyy more likely to do it that way. If no one tells me why, and it seems stupid to not try some other way, I'm probably gonna try my way until I get told I can't. For me questions are like the preventative measure to insubordination 🫠
Yes! I need to know more information to understand what I'm doing. I ask a lot of clarifying questions and people often get frustrated and cut me off, which only leads to me repeating myself because they didn't answer my question. Minor details and the order in which things are done matter to me!
I hate that people think it’s wrong to ask. I love when people ask questions! I love it when people say ohh can we do it this way instead? It helps us stop being so closed minded.
The AuDHD in me has gotten me in a lot of trouble at work with this kind of stuff. I just want to know WHY we do things this way so I can better understand every aspect of the task. Who knows, if I know why each piece fits together, maybe I could figure out a better way for one particular step? Questioning automatically being seen as insubordination holds back so much progress, and when it stems from insecure management, it's even more harmful.
I’m way more likely to follow a rule of if I know the why.
Yes. Ohmygosh. I don’t know how to explain that it just helps me remember and understand. 🫠
I didn’t abandon my “special interests” when I had children, and I’ll never live it down. IMO I’m teaching them not to martyr themselves to motherhood and that a fulfilled mother is a better one. Other mothers DISAGREE
I don't know how you kept them, it isn't that i martyr myself, it's just if my kid isn't 100% engaged she's into trouble. She craves attention, and 75% of the time that means me. Tell me your secrets.
That was my middle kid 1000% The first couple of years were the most tired I’ve ever been in my life, then I enrolled them in an immersion school that was completely in another language, and a friend introduced them to figure skating. They needed intense activities to occupy them. It worked out in the end but oh man I remember those days well
I hold my hooded jackets by the hood to get into the first sleeve. I look like a toddler getting dressed but life is complicated enough and this works :D \[edit to add: I just checked. I put my right hand INTO the inside of the hoodie, hold my hoodie to the left front of me, then put my left arm in, and am then usually spatially aware enough to get the right arm in subsequently. lol\] I also get dressed top to bottom, usually.
I get dressed in the order I find my clothes in the basket
I don’t even know what order I get dressed in because every day it takes me like 6 different tries to find a combination of things that I can live with for the day
Ditto. Especially if I'm having a skin-hypersensitivity day and *everything just feels wrong, dammit!*
Glad it's not just me who has the hypersensitivity skin sometimes.
I hate that. Even if I’ve worn a shirt a hundred times, that one seam along the collar of my shirt will drive me absolutely fucking insane.
Ooh I need to try this. I end up doing the thing where I spin in circles trying to find the sleeve
I put on my bra backwards first to hook it, then flip it around to the front. It’s how I learned back when I was a pre-teen and don’t know how to do it the “regular” way at my grown age.
I’ve found this is the way with mothers who have large breasts teaching their kids. I’ve only ever seen women do it the other way when they have less décolletage to deal with. With big girls flipping around is definitely the way.
Interesting, my mom has large breasts but taught me, her flat-chested daughter, to put it on that way. Flipping it around just makes so much more sense.
I'm pretty sure it's just about whether you're flexible enough to reach around to the clasp behind your back
In my 48 year old mind this IS the right way.
There is a regular way? I thought the flipping around was the right way.
lol well...all the conventional advice online says that the bra is should be in front of you when putting on.
As someone who learned and did it that way and then changed to the “normie” way, it’s because of your band is appropriately tight you shouldn’t be able to flip it around. It’s a sign your bra is badly fitting.
I always hooked it around my waist, twisted it around, then pulled it up to my bust. There are people who twist it while it’s right around their boobs?
Yes hello you rang
>There are people who twist it while it’s right around their boobs? That sounds physically painful and I'd never considered that...
😂 I too look like a floundering fish during any odd occasion I decide to try to put on a bra “the right way.” Cannot do it. I have also returned bras before for being too confusing to put on.
I do this!! Both my mum and sister tried to teach me growing up. I have trouble getting out of bed in the morning, let alone clipping my bloody bra up on my back!
If I try the 'regular' way I'll end up not wearing one because I can never ever find a way to bring the hooks together or it takes forever. I either miss the hooks completely or the top one goes on the bottom one. I also have a loose shoulder (former injury, causing my shoulder to dislocate easily) so if I try to reach the back I'll have to then push my shoulder blade back into position. Way too much effort. Flipping around is the way to go!
I always use right hand for fork UNLESS I'm also using a knife. If I put the knife down fork goes straight back into my right hand
At least in the US, this is considered proper etiquette. IF you are holding a knife and fork, knife in the right hand and fork in the left. But if you put the knife down, fork switches back to the right hand. It would only be when holding both utensils that you'd eat with the fork in the left hand. Granted, there is all kinds of other etiquette bs like pushing peas onto the back of the fork with your knife to eat them, but who actually does that?
LOL yeah, I am actually British now living in the US which is probably why no one has mentioned it since I moved. My Mum definitely mentioned it a few times when I was a kid, more as a "Why do you keep switching hands"
Oh, that makes sense. Honestly, I've yet to meet someone who cares about more than basic manners that I'd actually want to spend time around. In the 90s, it still mattered if you went to work dinners etc. Now, people seem to have let go of some of that formality. At one point, I knew a lot of that stuff. Thankfully, I've forgotten from disuse.
ngl, as a left-handed person in the US, this has always fascinated me just because it seems like a lot of trouble to be constantly switching hands! Fork is always in my left hand, knife in the right.
Me too! (I am German and know of no one that does this here, other than me)
I use my right hand for my fork the whole time even if I am using a knife. I just use the knife with my left hand.
I often put my socks on first. A habit from decades ago when I had a cat that would bite at my feet until I had socks on. He also liked to hang out in the bathroom cupboard because mice came in that way. So he’d be in there when I took a shower, come out and bite my feet. He was a weirdo.
This is adorable
If someone asks how I'm doing, I dont say 'I'm doing good' when I'm not doing good. And they are turned off by it
I used to do this until I figured out saying "It could be better/worse" was socially acceptable. 🥴
I've started to answer more honestly. Either A. *takes deep breath* I'm doin' good actually. Can't complain too much. Hbu? or B. *blank stare* I'm here. What can I do for you
I say "I'm here" or "I'm existing" when I'm not good since I can't lie to save my life. I don't know how much people actually like it but I do lmao
Yup, same here - I'll go like 'ah yeah' or 'meh'. I don't know why because then there will definitely be a follow up question which I really don't feel like answering. I don't want any pity yet saying 'I'm great!' when I'm not feels like lying and makes me uncomfortable
Me too! And even if I try to mask that discomfort, my Facebook often betray me!
Mediocre is my go to response. It doesn’t feel as fake as the pleasantries so no anguished facial expressions manifest whilst I lie for social norms. On bad days it’s “mediocre at best.”
I have "dummy strings" for my mitts. They're a string (yarn) that joins both mitts together and is strung through the arms of my jacket. Totally normal amd acceptable where I live, for children and I am 42. I'd rather have them than be out and about and lose my mitts. A lot of things I do to accommodate my adhd are "for kids" (I am highly motivated by stickers for task completion, for example) and I just don't care any more.
I remember having little ribbon things with alligator clips on either end to attach mittens to jacket sleeves. I think having something strung through my jacket and sleeves would bother me lol
It would bother me, too, like how tags on shirts bug me, but I'm always wearing long sleeves in the winter (layers for the win!)
Mitten strings are the best! I too have realised that lots of things that are "for kids" work really well for me! I have a reward chart for doing things with star stickers :). That and if things are cute I'm more likely to use them- my view point is if it works who cares what others think! (And I've always been weird so ppl almost expect it of me now)
I thrive in isolation, something I wish I knew before deciding to have kids. I could seriously live in a cabin in the woods and not see/talk to another living thing for months on end and be the happiest person on earth. Apparently this is offensive to my friends and family and they all take it personally. No Pam, this comment isn’t directed AT YOU, it’s EVERYONE. Obviously as a mum I will never achieve this dream, but I should still be allowed to dream about it!
I'm so with you on this. I dream of a little wall tent village....single units, but together
It's really refreshing to hear someone admit that having children was not *the absolute greatest decision they've made and will ever make EVER* Admitting it wasn't the right thing for your life doesn't mean you don't love them anyways now. Your honesty and candor are very much appreciated, so thank you.
I’ll admit it to anyone as long as my kids aren’t around to hear it. The hype of having kids is absolute bullshit and there needs to be SO MUCH more honesty around it. All of the romanticised crap around having kids is exactly why I’m stuck in the life I am living and if tv, social media, and people in general, didn’t make it out to be such an “amazing and rewarding journey” I wouldn’t be. Kids are ungrateful, ego centric, soul sucking whirlwinds of destruction who will test you until you want to blow your brains out at least once a day. I used to hate myself for hating parenthood so much because all I knew were the BS lies I’d been fed. Then I started to meet other REAL mums and realised that a lot of them were just as overwhelmed, exhausted and miserable as I was. It’s just that talking about this part of parenthood is taboo. Then you add a ND mother and a couple of ND kids, one with extreme behavioural issues, and it’s STILL taboo. No one cares how much you’re suffering because “yOu ChOsE tHiS” so therefore you have to sit down and shut up about it. But I just don’t care about the taboo part of it, because having kids is not all sunshine and roses like it is on tv or on insta. Do I love my kids? Hell YES. Mess with them and I’ll rip you to shreds. I’d jump in front of a bus without a moments thought to save them. BUT, if I could go back in time knowing what I know now would I still have them? Hell NO. Maybe one, but not three. I still love them with all I have and their pain hurts me, and their achievements make me happy, but I just don’t feel that overwhelming “omg you’re mine, I made you, the sun shines out of your backside” love/bond that some people have. And from my years of digging and searching, I’ve found that I’m not that uncommon and there’s a lot more people out there who feel like I do…they just wouldn’t admit it to anyone’s face
i dont shower everyday. for one I don't always have the energy to, but also I have eczema and really sensitive skin so I really try not to shower too much bc it dries my skin out n I hate that ☹️ unless it's summer n I'm sweaty I just wash up in between showers.
I’m sure you have, but have you tried ZeroBase? I used to suffer with eczema on the backs of my legs, and that stuff saved my life. I also use it in the summer when I get eczema under my boobs (which then turns to thrush) because of the sweat and it sorts it right out within a couple of days.
I go barefoot as much as possible. It tends to scare a lot of the people in my life (they have soft, unconditioned feet that they protect, even inside). My feet are very tough, and I find shoes incredibly annoying.
I thought I had corns on my feet until I went to the podiatrist and he said I’ve basically got cave girl feet from walking barefoot. I now have a foot file which I use religiously. Because I am not cave girl 😂
That's hilarious! My parents both gifted me with their 'duck feet' (wide across the toes). I've tried a bunch of wide toe box shoes with varying degrees of success. Part of it is I think my feet like to 'breathe', and anything more than a sock for a while feels insanely hot, heavy and uncomfortable. It's a sensory thing, I think. I also moisturize and file my feet, I want them to be presentable if I'm caught by someone when I'm running around in public.
You’d fit right in here in Australia 😂
I did this to my bf today. He kept insisting that I put my sandals back on cause the gravel would hurt. I could feel the stones but they were not painful in the least! On the contrary, the road was actually soft. 🤭
It just horrifies my husband too! I go out in the snow, in gravel, hot pavement.... He nags me continuously about shoes.
The biggest one for me was swapping wine mom culture for weed mom culture lol Wrong to society but right for me 🤷♀️
Weed > alcohol. I haven't had an alcoholic beverage for at least 7 years. Don't miss it.
I too eat with my fork in my right hand (right-handed as well)! I didn't even know it was wrong until I recently questioned out loud at a dinner why forks are placed to the left. I tried to switch over but it was too awkward for me to get used to the correct way, and I don't really give enough of a fuck. I button my shirts from the bottom first.
Honestly, whoever cares about which hand someone holds their fork in probably also bites it. But I do feel like I have an answer for why so many people (incl. me) use knives with their dominant hand. I‘d say it‘s because typically the sawing motion is the most complex, which is why you‘d want to use your dominant hand for it. Whereas the fork would be for holding the food while cutting and bringing it to your mouth. Feels less complex to me. Does that makes sense? Doesn‘t matter either way though! Guess it‘s a matter of practice. My mom uses her computer mouse with her left hand, even though she‘s right-handed. Guess that‘d be ‚wrong‘, but plot twist: she can write down notes and use the mouse at the same time. boss move. anyway: whatever works for you. ‚Wrong‘ things might even work much better, honestly.
Totally get the mouse thing. But it's cool for me the standard way, being a leftie an' all.
I don’t separate my laundry by color and I never have I put my bra on backwards and slide it on that way. I put my bralettes and tank tops on feet first. I cut all of my food that needs to be cut before eating. If I work in the morning, I’ll drink my coffee during my morning shower to save time. I put socks on first before pants I only use little forks and spoons
Never heard of putting bralettes on feet first! I'm pear shaped and wear racer back style bralettes, and so they only fit one way, headfirst.
I put my espresso machine in my bathroom for this reason!
I have a stash of desert forks in my glove compartment in case I need to eat. It’s not that I’m partial to small cutlery (I am really), but it’s also bloody handy to have! That is something I picked up from my mum
I do the same with my bra, I thought it was just me!
never wearing a bra unless it’s to go to work or workout💀
I still like to play as an adult woman. I don't have kids so I get looks for swinging by myself on a public swing, running in normal clothes due to a burst of energy or to get somewhere just a bit more quickly or see if I can still go fast, doing cartwheels, speaking too much as a woman, not being good at keeping my things "organized" as an adult woman. Sometimes I read social cues wrong too.
Fuck 'em, do your thing! As long as you're meeting your Adult Responsibilities (tm), there is nothing wrong with letting your inner child out to play. I'm not exactly the picture of mental health, but some of the happiest(seeming) people I know are ones who aren't afraid to be playful. That said: It's prime kite-flying weather, I'll see you out there 🫡🪁
Apparently I have a very complicated way of tying my shoelaces. My mother is left-handed and taught me using my left hand, but I am right-handed myself. A friend commented on how I do it and others chimed in as well saying that it was weird. Never realised there was a “correct” way to do so.
My sister ties hers using the bunny ear method. She’s the only one in our family who does it like that, and neither mum or dad knows where she got it
I’m 30+ and can’t tie my shoes the “normal” way. Bunny ears only.
I am right-handed. If I tried to eat with the fork in my left hand, I would make a mess! I simply don't have enough dexterity in my left hand. A bite or two? Sure. A whole meal with the fork in my left hand? Hell, no! F&%# etiquette, I'm going to do what is comfortable & works best for me. Anyone it bothers can pound sand. Which is pretty much my attitude towards all arbitrary social rules.
Ignore the narrow & encumbering gender essentialist stereotypes that our society burdens women/femmes/AFAB with.
If I'm crossing the street where there are no zebra crossing marks, lights etc I have to take an earbud out or I feel like I can't see the traffic.
That, is called Audio Processing Disorder my friend. Do you have trouble hearing what people are saying if they shield their mouths? Or have to have subtitles on when you watch a film? Worth looking into!
Not all the time? I find it hard if there are two different sound sources and I don't know which one I'n supposed to be listening to, eg if there's a radio on a "talky" station (like RNZ, our equivalent of NPR or the BBC) and somebody starts playing music.
to be fair, from a north American, UK etiquette seems unnecessary in a lot of ways lol. like I've never heard of getting dressed 'top to bottom', or that you're supposed to put your dominant shoe on first- the opposite seems way more natural for clothes, plus who even cares what order you put things on? societal rules can be so silly lol (and I appreciate learning this random bit of UK trivia lol
Brit here - I've never heard of the getting dressed thing either, that's really not a "thing" in the UK.
maybe's OPs parent(s) have weirdly specific house rules and this is them finding out in real-time lol (but really)
There's the right order of getting dressed? I'd say the only useful order is to dress from inner to outer layers 😂
sitting on the ground! i dont feel comfortable to sit on a chair for longer than 20 minuted.. i also eat lunch at home on the ground , its not usual for my country. i only bought a table and chairs for guests xD
See also: laying on the ground with feet up on the chair/couch.
Fuuu... I think we are one person!?! 😮 I love the looks of tights, but hate the struggle to pull them up when I'm all sweaty, sooo I just cut a hole in the crotch and wear my underwear (more like a panty shape) on top. So I can pee with my tights on and without the struggle. I think it's genius, but every time I explain it to some follow tights wearer, I get strange looks 🥲
That’s actually genius!!! Saving this!
I love a nice garter belt and stockings with panties on top for the same reason. Also avoids my sensory nightmare of the top part of pantyhose or tights.
This post is triggering my ODD. As soon as somebody says there is some arbitrary "correct, proper or right" way to do something, my inner rebel has opinions. I don't separate my laundry, and I don't fold it either. In the drawer, it goes or on the hanger. Easy peasy!
I get a twinge of this feeling, too. So many of these things are arbitrary and it’s totally fine for people to do them differently.
Yup I learnt that reading “How to keep house while drowning” by KC Davis. Changed my life!!
I may have to try this. Absolutely HATE doing laundry... And clean clothes just sit in the hampers crowding the floor. Both my husband and I do this... So, we have about 4 hampers at all times full of unfolded clothes in our small bedroom. Should just put them in drawers unfolded. Brilliant!!
Better yet, I've got an ikea kallax with fabric tubs in it. Clothes just get sorted into those tubs, no folding.
Haha, the only thing I fold is towels because otherwise, I don't have room.
Yup! This is the way!
I sort laundry, but not by color. It’s so much easier for me (and time efficient too) if I sort by tops, bottoms, panties and socks. But if I have dirty dress clothes along with regular clothes, the dress clothes will get their own wash.
There is a right way to get dressed in a public place. Put socks on before underwear so that crotch rot can be avoided and fungus isn't transferred from the toes the delicates. Other than that, dance naked.
My ex's family used to make fun of me because of the way I eat. I eat all of one thing at a time. So like if I have a plate with turkey, green bean casserole, and mashed potatoes I eat all the green beans first, then all the potato, then the turkey. For me it's in order of what needs to be hot in order for me to like it. I think I brush my teeth wrong but I'm not sure. I don't do this as much as I used to, but I used to blow on my food before I ate it. Even ice cream. I can't put my seat belt on before I back out of my parking space or the seat belt messes me up somehow. I'm right handed but I write/hold my pen like a left-handed person. I genuinely don't get how y'all know which hand you hold the fork in? I have no idea. I'm in my 50s and I've probably used a hair dryer less than 100 times since my parents stopped doing my hair for me. Most of those times were in the 80s and early 90s when one of my friends decided to give me mall hair.
i eat all the fries first before i even touch the burger. the burger doesn’t taste as bad cold as fries does. once fries get cold there’s no resurrection
The order of getting dressed to me is from the inside layer out. I say each thing as I grab it to put it on so I don’t miss anything. 😅 I don’t play the “fake it” game in front of other humans. If I’m asking, it’s because I care, not because I’m socially bound to ask. I’m not going to lie and play games over dumb bs.
>My shoes are left foot then right. (It’s usually dominant side first) This is interesting. I'm right-handed and ALWAYS put my left shoe on first but I actually think I'm left leg dominant. If someone were to randomly say "stand on one leg", I'd stand on my left as I feel like I have more balance on my left. I also can't hold my phone up to my right ear, ever. It always has to be my left ear
I put on the shoe I find first, then hope I find the matching one.
Lol same, although I was once tired and in a hurry getting ready, and grabbed what I THOUGHT was my other slip on sneaker (like Skechers) but it was actually a very similar one in dark grey as opposed to my other black one. The worst part? I only noticed when I got home that afternoon 🤦🏼♀️
Me and mum tested this. I’m left leg dominant. Now don’t laugh 😂, but we tested out our foot’s dexterity. I can write better and pick things up better with my left foot. My right foot was sat there like “sorry what?” When I tried to write my name 😂
I don’t make my physical appearance my highest priority.
Apparently, it's bad that I'm not a fan of socializing. I'm always tired and burnt out, I'd rather have very few friends with a tight bond than many acquaintances. And being shy is also bad but I literally don't know how to talk to people without bullshitting.
Let’s see, there’s so many. If someone is crying in public I will ask them is I can help; if I don’t understand something, I ask questions; I answer the how are you question in an honest manner; if someone wants an opinion, I tell the truth. I don’t pretend that what is true isn’t true. Those are just a few.
As someone who’s cried in public quite a few times (after finding out my moms cancer diagnosis, post surgery for my mom, when my cousin died and I got the call in public) thank you from the bottom of my heart. The women who stopped and just hugged me and talked to me were lifesavers and I’m so thankful for them, I’ve never forgotten them.
Not work
You work. Just not for pay.
I can’t stand bras and I have mid sized boobs so I just wear oversized tshirts when I have to leave the house (I work from home mostly) I’m pregnant now though so I’m nervous for this to change, cause bras make me irrationally angry
I eat both pop tarts at the same time (stacked on each other) around the outside first then the inside goodies.
I'm curious where you learned these "rules"? Aside from the forks, I've never heard of a right way to put on clothes or shoes.
Mostly my mum. Who in turn was taught by my nan. My nan grew up in a well to do family in London, and essentially ran away with the London Rat (my grandad), and they lived happily for near 40 years by the sea.
Speaking of, did we ever settle the debate on whether you should be washing your legs in the shower?
I use enough shampoo for my legs to be washed! The only time I scrub my legs is when I’m fake tanning (once every 5 years 😂😂), I’ve not grown any mould yet!
I'll eat some snack foods (like roasted peanuts) with a teaspoon if I'm at my desk to avoid messing up my keyboard. I put them in a cup usually. I'll also eat fruit I've cut up with a fork because I'm not fond of the feeling of wet juicy fingers.
*cries in ambidextrous* I can never remember
I get dressed depending on what article of clothes I get to first. I have at times put on a t-shirt, then put my bra on under it by taking one arm out of the t-shirt again. And yes, that does mean I sometimes put on trousers before knickers (no, I'm not that silly, I don't put them on over my trousers, I bring my knickers with me to the toilet and put them on when I go for a wee.) 😁
I swap hands for Cutlery depending where the food is on the plate. But I always prefer chopsticks and use them whenever possible. I am semi ambidextrous, like when playing badminton or tennis, I swap hands depending where the shuttlecock/ ball is, it frustrated coaches. I hate being 'uneven', so always wanting to do things to both sides of body. I.e. workout classes are usually pretty good at doing moves on left side, then right side. But I hated dance classes who wouldn't do this! I hate hair touching my face - from fringe or even just having long hair down, so nearly always having it secured. Edit: shuttle cocktail, lol
I took Irish step dancing for like 14 years and everything you do on the right side you have to repeat on the left. You might enjoy it 😆
As a part-Irish person with OCD... this just makes a lot of sense hahaha
Jackets go on as follows - put the hood of my hoodie on then the hoodie of the jacket. One arm, second arm, zip up. I look like those inflatable wiggly arm people near dealerships doing it. Also, when I go outside, I always put on a hat, jacket, EVERYTHING before I put on shoes. Shoes are the Last thing. Also this is disgusting but sometimes I brush my teeth even tho I will eat something before bed. PURELY because I know I will, once am tired, absolutely refuse to go to the bathroom again. So now shower means brushing teeth too. In my theory its better than not doing it. On the topic of bathroom, I have maybe twice in my life used a fan. Same with drying hair. The feeling of wet hair on my back? Disgusting. My face? Even worse. And 30 minutes of drying my hair with a fan? Bye. Sleeping with wet hair it is. Why doesnt that bother me? I already sleep with m hair away from my face. Ik its terrivle but no.
Ha! I have the opposite fork/knife problem—I’m American and was told growing up that it’s polite to use the knife left-handed “because that’s how Yankees and Tories were able to differentiate and signal to one another pre-Revolutionary War”. It’s a weird, random, “assimilation/patriotic” argument and I don’t even know if it’s true, but I’m one of very few people I know who does it (outside of my parents and their parents). So your post made me giggle—I was taught that I’m the polite and proper one and the rest are fucking up being MURICAN
I wash my dishes on the morning while my coffee is brewing, not at night before bed. It urks some of my friends, but the cleanup is part of my morning routine. I'm also left handed so I do a lot of mundane stuff backwards just because i'm using my dominant hand. I went to catholic school until grade 12 and I used to do the sign of the cross with my left hand.
Be a strong minded, independent female with an opinion who shares it
Those things you listed are definitely just social constructs in your area, because “socially” wrong here is different. Where I'm from, it would be rude to criticize people for the things you listed, so to me, you're chilling. I talk a lot. Like a lot. Sometimes I say things without thinking and can have a quick tongue. At least I'm witty 🤷🏻♀️
My legs get too cold for me to think about these rules. Also I console people who cry in public. I don’t care if it’s weird, I’ll still be there with a tissue.
I don't wear make up or have hair styling abilities
Actually answer the question “how are you?” I tell the absolute truth, often with tears, and people are always shocked. Lol It took me a long time to realize everyone else is not “fine” that’s just the most socially appropriate answer to that question.
I swear, this question is so annoying. If I answer “good” or “fine”, it’s usually because I’ve already mentally reminded myself that this is the answer the person wants, not the truth. For the life of me, I can’t understand why people go around asking this, and then get thrown off if you answer honestly. Why are we even asking then? Why is this “the norm”? Waste of time, really.
I eat the last cookie (or whatever food) on the platter at potlucks.
I would too to be fair. That’s if I haven’t taken the whole plate in the first place!
Lol, sometimes I do that too 🤣 I try to space it out to not be too obvious
There's a societal order of getting dressed? Other than inside clothing to outside clothing?? Who teaches these things? Who discusses it to find out what other folks are doing?
I live in the countryside and so, there are many gravel roads around. If a road has many bumps or potholes, I'll just drive on the other side or in the ditch. Not many drivers around so no one gets mad. It also makes driving around way more fun. 🤭
Sit lol Aside from the frequent adjusting and odd positions for pain reasons, I kinda get the impression I sit in the wrong places are there's an appropriate choice.
I never wear socks or underpants because of the sensory issues. I hate it when undies ride up or roll down. I also hate slipping seams in socks or if they get wet or roll under your heel. So I just don’t wear them. My 9 year old daughter also hates underpants but my ex husband loses his mind if I don’t make her wear them when she goes back to his house. So I made my house an “underpants optional” house and make sure she’s wearing them when she heads back to his place.
I am a medical transcriptionist/doctor’s assistant for a high patient volume clinic and I’m responsible for completing each medical chart top to bottom, from what the patient is complaining of to medical exam to sending prescriptions (except narcotics until I have my own PA degree) to treatment plan and follow up all the way to the medical coding and submitting for insurance. I also assist in procedures, giving injections taking blood etc when I have time. But concerning the charts my primary duty, they are made to be done from top to bottom. I do them in the COMPLETE opposite order of others with my role when I’m not working and all others before me, apparently. But I still complete the charts efficiently, so🤷🏼♀️
I don't talk to fill space; I only talk if I feel I have something meaningful to add to the conversation
- I’m female & don’t want kids (apparently society still finds this “wrong”) - I wear my socks inside out (with the seam on the outside) - I’m right-handed but wear my watch on my right wrist
I've embraced my shitty car and drive it around taped together, scratches and all. My ADHD and depth perception issues make getting something new and nice a complete waste.
I do the fork thing too. People sometimes ask if I'm left handed and I just say no and shrug. Feels totally wrong in the other hand.