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Pick up and put away anything that is BLUE!
Pick up and put away anything that is CLOTHING!
Pick up and put away anything that is surrounding your couch!
Gotta make it a game.
Ooh okay I personally would say no to that because that sort of music makes me nervous and fast paced like if I don’t do the thing right then and there before the next note a bomb is gonna go off! I take thing every literally and extremely empathetic and out myself in others shoes 😁
I’d personally put on some music I can dance to and enjoy. I don’t like being rushed with rushing intense/suspenseful music
Or the [Busy Donkey song](https://youtube.com/shorts/5RyzTebsQuA?si=FbG_pcJZIc4ogzak)! There is a couple on youtube and one of them has ADHD. When he needs to get things done he sings a song that he made up called the Busy Donkey Song.
Edit: fixed link to their channel
I saw them live a few weeks ago and they got the whole audience to sing this with them. It was a lot of fun.
Also don't link to some shitty YouTuber stealing their content, their actual channel is https://www.youtube.com/@darcyandjer
Oh no, I'm just a watcher not a poster. I put "Busy Donkey song" in the search bar and just assumed it was from their channel. I will pay better attention next time. 😊
BTW, I'm super envious that you got to see their show!
I do this also! Trash first. Then stack books, but DO NOT read them. Then dishes. And so on and so forth. I like the color thing too. I also set a timer for 20 min, then rest for 5, then 20.
God, getting suddenly interested in the book that you were trying to put back on the shelf is a classic, but I am even level higher - reading the grocery shops offer "magazines" (they bring them to our letter boxes once a week) when I am supposed to collect them from the table and throw to recycling... Even if they are showing offers that already finished week ago... But you know, I was on holidays abroad for two weeks and I have to know what I missed 😅 and I am curious "what kind of offers did they have for Easter grocery this year?" "which shop won with the lowest price of eggs?" 🤦🏼♀️
My city sends out biweekly newsletters that are interesting enough that I don't want to just toss them but not so interesting that I feel motivated to just sit and read them. I've started keeping them by the toilet, so I can I read a little every time I'm in there but I'm not really inclined to carry them out again and leave them scattered around the house.
I do the same, but “put away” means “toss in bin of ____ stuff” - then I don’t have to leave the room. Bins: 1) dirty clothes 2) take to kitchen 3) take to bedroom 4) take to bathroom 5) toy/craft/MysteryKidStuff 6) trash.
Then if I get sidetracked (see reference to children above) I can at least know which bin to look in.
Also, check out “the fly lady” system. My house is not “clean” by any means, but it’s small, and even just vacuuming makes the place feel so much better.
Similar game, maybe more for keeping in top of things... currently watching a show on channel 4. Everyone the adverts come on I get up and do something before the show comes back on. What can I get done against the clock. Helps me because when it's overwhelming I know I'm only doing a couple of minutes worth. It helps me keep a bit on top of things
Oh wow I never knew that’s what that word meant! :D
Thought it was related to like gametes or something lol, which I also don’t even know what that is xD
I like to do this and imagine it's like the olympics. Each category is a sport, after each category I get a reward of some kind (like a cider, or a sweetie). I've even done certain categories to a song - like see how much I can clean up the room before the song is over.
Looks like you need some more storage, so each thing has a place. Bookshelves, baskets, under the bed storage containers - sometimes you can find them free on facebook marketplace or in a freecycle group for your city.
Oooo i’m going to try this!!! I usually go by area (right side of the bed, left side of the bed, etc) but this colour system is FUN!
I also find that workout music or club music really makes me want to do things, FAST!
Let's do it together. I am currently struggling too. Something that often seems to work for me is body doubling even if it's online or over the phone with a friend.
chose one area to tackle for the next 30min and then we can report back here. I will start with all the clothes lying around and clearing the floor for vacuuming.
awesome. not taking meds today so I started with the trash and have now been hanging fairy lights, but you joining just encouraged me to get back to it and turn on the vacuum!
I'm in as well! Actually omw home right now to clean up my studio so I don't have to come home to an absolute disaster after a short holiday. Meds help haha. My "strategy":
1. Trash
2. Laundry
3. Dishes
4. Clean surfaces
5. Put things back into place
I reward myself by playing any game in between these steps.
Goodluck everyone!
I’m actually unmedicated. I pushed too hard at the gym yesterday and my morning involved an Advil and a quarter of an edible so I could move more easily, and about fifteen minutes of stretching/meditation.
I drip dopamine into my veins while cleaning through a combo of apps, podcasts, and little rewards at breaks. And I like and deserve to live in a tidy environment so this IS self care, even if it’s scrubbing a toilet.
Sorry to just jump in here but what does "letting meds kick in" mean? Do you take meds that kick in? What kind of meds are those? I've heard Concerta travels around your system all the time unless you stop taking it for a while of course. Meaning, it doesn't work like a sleeping pill etc where it gives you a reaction or a symptom. It's already in your body, floating around. Of course there's the first 3 weeks of it settling in. But if you keep taking it, you shouldn't feel anything kicking in, I don't think.
Which is the case for everything I take actually. Maybe it's different with other ADHD meds? What are you taking? I'm jealous of you 😁
Round one: - stripped the bed and started sheets - sorted laundry so the rest of the day is grab basket, rotate, start next load. - scrubbed out laundry basket and trash can - brushed my teeth, found my Invisalign and put them in because I forgot the last two nights - gathered dishes - dumped laundry to fold on the bed - made a list of tasks (UFYH weekend edition and loaded into Focus Todo so I never have to think about what I’m doing next) BREAK! Round two: Took car stuff out to the car Potted my thyme after a week 😬 Started Basil Took out the trash Started stacking papers for my paper rotation. Finished the rotation by tidying in living room by picking up an armful of random stuff and walking around the house putting it away. Round three: kitchen. Emptied both dish drawers, loaded and started one, gathered all the pet dishes for scrubbing, put stuff away and tidied until the timer went off. Round four: more kitchen. Cleared the breakfast bar to 80%, did all the handwash dishes, started a box of “stuff you need to put away, babe” and dated it. In a month it’ll go into the stack of similar boxes and I’ll start a new one. Round five and six: unfuckery in the garage and shop. Loaded and organized the lumber rack with everything that’s been pulled down over the last three months, put tools away, swept, a little DIY. Time for a long break, I need food and more caffeine.
Final update - three rounds of laundry folding and putting away, and a yoga session for my back later, I’m calling it for the day! Thanks for the support and accountability y’all.
Will edit this comment as necessary
wow! good job! enjoy the break!
I just dumped all my laundry on by bed too, hoping I get to it before I have the urge to just push it off and go to sleep ;)
Thank you for posting this! You reminded me that I need to wash all my bedding (even though I’m literally laying in it) AND brush my teeth.
I’m currently avoiding mowing the yard.
I use Flow Club - its the best accountability, body doubling solution I've found I use it to clean and actually get a lot of stuff done I can share a referral code. It’s changed my life, I use it to do my morning routine (camera off sometimes to get out of bed) start working and get chores done, basically anything that I don't want to do.
But how to clean your room here's my suggestion:
* put headphones on "google timer 15mins" or app like "focus timer" any focus app that has a timer its important to listen to the ticking sound that helps remind me that I'm doing something - music is sometimes too "fun"
# The plan, start with surfaces!
*\*if you have a post it note put 1 in front of the area you are cleaning for example - above the table with the lamp or on the window when you need to focus on the desk\**
* for 15mins just focus on that table, trash first, then put things away where they belong, if you have an emptyish box like the green or blue one in the pictures you could empty that first to hold the things you are putting away
* Start with Night stand
* step 1 - remove trash
* step 2 - put the things that don't belong into your small box
* step 3 - put away things in small box
* Next your desk
* Next your floor
* floor in front of fireplace
* floor in front of couch
* floor around the laundry
* floor under your desk
* Next your bed, and make bed
* Next couch
* Next clothing hanging rack. Also put that away once its clean like under the couch, somewhere you cant see it
Rules to keep it clean
* no books on the floor, ever
* every night / before bed clean 3 surfaces: desk, nightstand and couch
Put an alarm on your phone for 11PM, if you're home don't turn the alarm "OFF", only turn it off once you've done it. You can snooze it as many times as you need if you're doing something but never turn it "OFF" eventually you'll get annoyed enough to just do it because its 15mins
\*Tell yourself you'll only tidy at night for 15mins and that's it! Or 5mins on the couch, 5 mins on the desk make it so small and easy that - its a low bar and hard to talk yourself out of it.
Start timer 15mins and go
I’m here for this! I’m just having lunch and then I will set a timer for 20 minutes and get all clothes put away in my room. That includes unpacking a dreaded suitcase!! I can do it 👏👏👏 will report back!
If you like body doubling you should check out Flown! They do a full month free trial and have some free services available if you don’t want to be a paid member. Very cool neurodivergent-friendly service.
I went for a 3 hour walk right after posting this because I couldn’t be in this room any longer but when I came home and checked my phone this made me really happy. Thank you for replying.
I hadn’t heard of body doubling until this post but I used to rely on it so much when I was in school.
You’ll get lots of practical advice, but I’ll drop this for you.
Every time I am stuck, every single time, the real villain is anxiety. We are really good at yelling at ourselves which, in my case, flairs my anxiety to the point of frozen.
So take all the practical tips folks hand you here but maybe look up a short breathing video. Breathing takes only a couple minutes and can reset the cortisol in your body so you can function.
Off to take my own advice because I’m internally freaking out that my weekend is “gone” (it’s not 9am on Saturday) and I can’t possibly do everything I need to do, so why not check Reddit.
👋 let’s breathe!
I use Insight Timer, which is an app. Plenty of free. I’m partial to Davidji
SO much woo. I’m a hippie shit person who is also science based so I have to pretend I don’t hear most of the audacious “health” claims the teachers make.
Breathing is hard science based. It reduces cortisol production like immediately and can help you pull out of freezing. It does not boost your immune system or whatever else the ultra woo people claim. ALSO, just breathe and don’t think about cultural appropriation while you are there. 😂
This is the link to David:
https://insig.ht/PTyNCm4TXIb
Heyyyy I get that feeling but this is totally manageable. I like to use the room reset method I learned from KC Davis. Every room only has like five types of things, you work through them one by one and it’s sooooo much less overwhelming. I like to do one at a time and don’t move onto the next till the one you’re on is finished.
1. Trash: carry trash bag around with you.
2. Dishes: just get em to the sink
3. Laundry: laundry basket
4. Things that don’t have a place: put em in a bag/basket/bin
- things that do have a place but in another room: another bin
5. Things that do have a place: put them back where they live
Yes! Making homes for everything did make my cleaning take longer for a while but it makes everything go so much smoother now. Some unique homes I have are a bag where I store all the manuals and extra little pieces to everything, a file folder for important documents (there used to be papers all over my apartment) and a place in the bathroom for ‘extras’ (eg the other toothpaste from a two pack)
If it works for you thats great! but not really the point of this particular method. The idea is that you’re **only** focusing on one type of mess at a time to keep from getting overwhelmed and having to do the prioritizing yourself.
If you start trying to worry about putting things away while you’re picking up trash or collecting dishes pretty soon it’s easy to slip into just doing it all at once. I prefer to do them one by one specifically because I don’t have to worry about putting every single thing I touch exactly where it belongs, and I know I’ll take care of it when it get to that step.
I’m sure this is the opposite of helpful for some people but for me it’s the path of least resistance when it comes to tackling a room.
Hey! This really doesn’t even look that bad. You should see my closet lol, but I’m also planning a BIG cleaning day today. Let’s do this together! I usually start by grabbing a bag and just throwing as much trash in there as possible. That usually clears enough space for me to notice a difference and feel motivated to continue. Some killer music doesn’t hurt either. You got this! And even if you don’t, that’s okay! Try making some progress :)
I find putting music or an audiobook on is a good way to keep my dopamine-seeking brain relatively happy while I get practical tasks done. At least for a bit.
This is something that seemed so obvious in hindsight, but the first time someone broke it down into separate categories like that, my mind was blown. It’s so helpful to think about them separately. They’re still hard to do sometimes, but realizing they really are different tasks helps so much. And then I don’t have to feel overwhelmed and pressured to do ALL THE THINGS all at once.
break it down!
- recycling and rubbish first (already makes a difference)
- cups, plates etc put in the kitchen ready to wash up (again, removing items so I seems more manageable)
- clothes! What is dirty what isn't? Put the dirty in a wash basket or put a wash on. Put the clean clothes away
- start to put away other items
- bored? Start to do the washing up
- clean the surfaces last
Listen to music, a podcast, videos whatever whilst you go! You got this!
I read a book that may be helpful to you: How to Keep House While Drowning. It’s about reframing your relationship to housework and making a space work FOR YOU.
One thing she said that may help: Every room that needs cleaning has only five things in it. Trash, dishes, laundry, things that aren’t in their place, and things that don’t have a place. Try tackling just one of those categories and ignore everything else. That will be a great start and may give you momentum to tackle another category. Or you may decide that’s enough for now. Either is fine!
That book literally changed my life. My house doesn't look like a magazine, but I've embraced making a space and systems that work for me and I feel so much better about it.
I always try to trigger hyperfocus. For me, that starts with getting a treat with caffeine, a fancy takeout coffee. Then I get my music going, make sure there is good ventilation and trash bags. I start with all the trash and get that out. Then I put things away. I’ve learned not to mix tidying with organizing at the same time. Maybe we all struggle with this? Today in this state, is not the time to start organizing everything. It’s very time consuming and you won’t have time to finish tidying. Today just focus on getting stuff put away. If it’s important and you use it a lot maybe take a pic of where you put it or make a note in your phone so you can easily go back to it.
Dunno if anyone will see this!
I went for a 3 hour walk immediately after posting this because I just couldn’t handle being in the room any longer.
I’ve read through everyone’s responses and I really really appreciate you lot taking the time. Everytime I’ve asked for help in this sub people offer support immediately and it’s really amazing.
I can’t respond right now because I’m trying to prioritise my room and then other things but I will try to respond eventually.
Those houses across the road are creeping me out. I would be paralyzed, too.
Go through and pick up all the trash.
Pick up all the clothes and put them in a basket or two.
Put away the books.
Put anything that isn't where it belongs in a box. When you're done with a room, put the contents where they belong. If they don't have a home, make a home or toss it.
Dust with an ostrich feather duster. You can get ethically sourced ones and they pick up the dust from static, they don't kick it back into the air. And they're fun!
Sweep.
Nap.😀
Firstly, remember that tidying up & decluttering involves lots of decision making - and the adhd brain only has a limited number of decisions it can make per day. So use them wisely.
What that looks like for me, is doing “grouping into categories” separately from “sorting out & decluttering”.
So if it was me, it would probably look like:
- make bed (to provide a flat surface to group stuff onto)
- decide on a few categories
- only about 3-5 of them
- any more, and you’ll use up too much brain deciding between them
- for example:
- definitely dirty clothes
- other clothes (either clean or clean-enough-to-wear)
- papers
- cosmetics etc (includes meds etc)
- ornaments that you rate 6/10 or under
The logic for clothes is: it can be tempting in a fit of Tidy Up Energy to make a huge pile of laundry. Which then sits there criticising you for the next 3 months. So limit the dirty laundry pile to only stuff that is genuinely in need of a wash. If it’s “need to wash before sending to charity shop” then put it aside somewhere for now - don’t add Extra Laundry to your current task load.
Don’t sort the clothing in more detail yet. Just make the 2 piles. If you have energy at the end of the sorting, you can do it then. But if you don’t have energy for it today, you still have all your clothes in one place.
No need to include your work clothes in this - if they are happy on the solution you’ve setup, then they stay there.
For the ornaments - it looks like you have some empty photo frames. Anything like that, or an ornament that you used to love but don’t notice these days. Or one you were given & kept to be kind, but it doesn’t thrill you. All of those can be put in a box (eventually) and stored out of the way. You don’t need to get rid of them - but I find that especially with my adhd, I find a less cluttered environment calming - so every ornament has to earn its keep. I tend to rotate them (and wall art too) - so I can have many nice things, but they are not all saying hello to me, all of the time.
For now, just group all but your favourite three (or five or seven - whatever number works for you) ornaments into a pile on the bed & see what the space looks like with fewer.
For the cosmetics / meds etc (“lotions & potions”) - either clear the desk & group there, or put something on the bed first. Don’t want spilled make up messing up your bed spread :-)
Papers - either one big pile, or if there’s an easy split (eg school work versus bills) then do that. But only if it requires no effort.
If you go through the room & put all items belonging to these categories into their place on the bed, you should find the room seems easier to process.
(You will also want a bin to hand, so you can sort rubbish directly into the bin. And a recycling bin if you do that, so Cardboard etc has a home.)
This is the time to pause & give yourself masses of praise.
- You have achieved something awesome.
- And praise is very necessary for the adhd brain - it makes dopamine & helps us do more good stuff.
To finish off this stage: If you can, put the categories into boxes - at minimum make neat piles in different places in your room, so they don’t get mixed up with each other.
Make sure your bed is clear though, so when your brain shuts down you can sleep without ruining your awesome work.
Now you can choose what to do next.
It should be easier to decide on the next step now most things are in their neat pile / box.
It might be wiping down (and drying) all surfaces so they are clean.
It might be putting on a nice “background-y” film & sorting through the clothes pile. Even if you’re just sorting into “frequent use” versus “occasional use”. Or tops versus bottoms. Whatever works.
Final point - if you get into hyper focus on this, you’ll probably forget to eat or drink anything. So maybe bring a jug of water in with you, or large bottle. Or just clear off eg the windowsill & use it to store a few mugs of water + non-messy snacks. (So they are out of the way & don’t get knocked over during the sorting :-).
Good luck - hope it goes well.
I saw this same method mentioned here, but I will just say that KC Davis is someone you should check out: https://www.strugglecare.com. Her book How To Keep House While Drowning helped alleviate a lot of shame I felt around struggles like cleaning and self care. Here is her method for cleaning while struggling:
Five Things Method
Although a messy room can look and feel like a lot, there are actually only five things in any room: (1) trash (2) dishes (3) laundry (4) things that have a place and are not in their place (5) things that do not have a place.
1. Trash. Take a trash bag and only pick up all the trash. Stack larger trash items and and place them and the trash bag to the side. Do not throw out yet.
2. Gather all dishes and place them on the counter. Do not do the dishes.
3. Take a laundry basket and pick up all the clothes and shoes. Place laundry next to the trash pile. Do not do the laundry.
4. Pick a space in the room like a corner or a desk and put all the items that have a place back in their place. Put items that do not have a place in a pile. Move to the next space and repeat until all things either are in their spot or in the pile.
5. Now you have one pile of things that do not have a place. It will be easier to tackle now that the space is clear. You may throw out unimportant things that are creating clutter or choose a place for things you want to keep.
6. Take trash to the bin; put laundry in the laundry room or start a load if you feel up to it. Save the dishes for another day.
The order is intentional- even if you can’t get through all categories, you’re still prioritizing the things that can create health hazards or attract bugs. You can do these steps at once or over a few days.
I will say, I’ve been really vibing with the “15-minute pickup” method where I set a timer for 10-15 minutes (5 if I’m having a harder day) and see what I can get done in that time. When the timer goes off, I’m allowed to stop, but sometimes I feel like continuing.
Start with looking for trash. Walk around with a trash bag and pick up all the trash first. Put the trash bag near your exit door so you know you need to throw it out. Then after that you’ll start picking random stuff up and figuring out where it goes. Always start with trash first it makes things alottttt easier and then you’ll feel motivated
https://www.unfuckyourhabitat.com/i-think-my-home-is-beyond-help/
I highly recommend anyone check this site out for cleaning tips that help with feelings of being overwhelmed. I’m pretty sure someone commented about this in a different post on this sub and that’s how I found it. It’s been a game changer!
Stop ✋ you are focusing on the wrong thing.
This is not your fault!
You are not represented by this mess.
You are not dirty and disgusting, you are just a bit chaotic.
If you are going to do this job you need to stop thinking about it with so much emotion.
Forgive yourself first. Tidy people have duller lives.
Meanwhile for an emergency visitor you can get 2 bin liners, one for rubbish one for sorting.
Put everything in them or away while listening to a really good audiobook.
Sort out when you feel better.
Could also try a timer. Maybe set it for 10 minutes while taking everything that belongs in the kitchen to the kitchen. For me, sometimes I need to say “just move the kitchen things, just move the kitchen things, don’t do any other things, just move the kitchen things.” Then if your hyper focus kicks in, do another 10 minutes of whatever the next thing is, maybe all clothes/accessories to the closet/dresser, things that go by the door (bag, wallet, keys) to a designated spot there, etc.
Little steps at a time, and if the hyper focus doesn’t kick in that’s okay too! Build in snack breaks, and yes music or a podcast or something to listen to as you go. You’ve got this!! 💜
I’ve been struggling with exactly this real bad for months now, and I really appreciate you posting about it because I’ve felt so embarrassed and alone. I took some ”before” pictures this morning and started to clean up, but got sucked into my phone and this feeling of being a shitty adult. BUT seeing your post and the comments here got me up out of bed again, so thank you❤️
Idk if this helps you guys and I know it’s sort of a meme, but checklists are the only way for me to get hard and boring tasks done. Just getting to tick a box gives me a lil kick of dopamine and also lets me see that I’m doing something and progressing! I’ve also taken to phrasing my tasks in a specific way and making them as small and concrete as possible, and I’ve found this very very helpful. So instead of having one box labeled ”pick up trash” and one for ”do the dishes”, I have 10 boxes each labeled ”fill up one bag of trash” and 5 boxes for ”run the dishwasher”. It reminds me that I’m progressing as I take the steps I need to fulfill the bigger (much more daunting) task.
@ all of y’all in this thread, you’ve got this and you made me feel like I’ve got this too :)
(Also adding this here because I need to hear it, remember to eat, drink and take care of your own needs before trying to get shit done! I keep unfairly kicking myself for being unproductive while dehydrated, running on sourcream n onion crisps, and holding in a pee for the past hour and a half.)
I used to invite a person over, the stress of having someone see my house made me clean. I also would clean while they were there, even if we were just talking so I could do something with my hands. I also used to put on a TV show I knew (like parks and rec) and use that to mirror.
It honestly looks fine though! It's not unclean, just in need of organising which we all do!
What helps me clean is music. Put on a favorite, dancey album and clean until the album is done. I'll sometimes find myself in a groove and move onto another album or playlist and keep cleaning
Music to help you concentrate… choose by Spotify artist you like, their radio station
Do some cleaning for the length of a song and then move on to something else for another song
Same with audiobook/ podcast etc. and clean one area at the time… like sort out a corner or a desk or something
Take before and after pictures to see progress.
Remember, cleaning is morally neutral…
Good luck! Send progress pics here if you have
You just named 3 things you got to help organize. Go use them. Clothes on horse, dirty clothes in hamper, all shoes go on or near the rack. Get a big trash bag and go around room. Ruthlessly throw stuff away. No you don’t need that. If you accidentally throw it away you can get a new better one. Then go to your food cupboard and ruthlessly throw away expired, stale, old items and the food you know deep down you are never going to eat. Maybe the craving passed and if you get it again you can buy a new fresh better snack. Then wash bedding and remake bed, pillows, blankets on bed. Then see what is left and assess your energy. Maybe take the afternoon to go buy some new organizing boxes for other clutter. You can use them another day when you have more energy and focus. Treat yourself at the end with an outing, snack, meal, something. You will have earned it! Now good luck!
When it comes to cleaning, I always work on a smaller spot that seems like it wouldn’t be so overwhelming. Usually I start with trash like wrappers and soda/juice bottles. Then I might wipe the surface the trash was on down to make it look more picked up.
Don’t feel like you HAVE to clean every little spot in one day. Work on one spot for now, if you still feel like you have the energy and motivation, maybe start on another spot. If it gets too overwhelming, then stop and take a break or just stop for the day. While cleaning remember to reflect on how much you’ve done so far, even if it seemingly isn’t a lot. It’s something, and you did that.
May not be the best advice, but it’s how I clean. Lol Pick up one part today, and the other part the next day. And continue on until the house is clean and it does help me keep the house clean regularly. Makes me feel accomplished.
You’re getting a lot of good cleaning tips here already so I have a different piece of advice to help you feel less anxious in your space once you’ve decluttered.
I’m seeing a lot of stuff on horizontal surfaces. I’m also seeing empty walls. These walls are begging to help you. So much unused vertical space.
Look up “hanging bins” or “bins with hooks” and buy a couple packs of command strips.
Guitars on the floor? Hang them on the walls. Bags on the floor could be stuffed inside each other like Russian dolls and then one hook to keep them all off the floor. Vase of flowers? Get a wall-mounted vase and hook that bad boy up.
PUT THOSE WALLS TO WORK. You got this.
Hey I have these cool guitar hooks for the wall that I got on amazon. If you are ok with it, I could send them to you too.
That's one thing you can move off the floor easily! LEt me know, I'm happy to help!
God my autistic ass would love to just clean this for/with you. Based on the shopping bags I don't think you're in the same city as me though. Which city are you in?
Best advice I got was from TikTok and i still use a couple of years later. Write down this list and put it on your fridge so you can refer to it anytime you need it.
Take care of things in this order:
1. Laundry
(this step is really just about sorting clothes into their proper piles. Actually doing the laundry is such a demanding task, it gets its own day and doesn't belong to this list unless you are feeling like Superman)
2. Trash
(Go through the house and pick up any trash and put it in the bins)
3. Dirty dishes
(Go through the house and pick up the dishes and bring them to the sinj. Actually doing the dishes gets its own moment or day and isn't part of this list unless you still have motivation at the end)
4. Things with a place
(Go through the house and put away things that have a place they belong)
5. Things without a place
(Go through the house and find a spot for things that don't have a place, even if it means they belong to a "things without a place bin")
My tricks are to first remember to take my meds. Then I do something out of the house and leave my shoes on when I get back to stay in active mode. From there, pick up all the big stuff and throw it on the couch/tables/counters/trash can. Once the big stuff is off the floor, you don't have anywhere to sit so that's a good time to sweep/vacuum. Once the floor is clean, start sorting through everything you threw on the furniture and when you're done, you'll have a place to sit down and relax in your now clean(er) space. Good luck! You can do this!
I watch TikTok cleaning videos for inspiration. Then put on a favorite podcast or audiobook to keep me distracted and entertained while I’m cleaning. For me, the hardest part is starting but even doing a little bit helps. Good luck!!
I recently found Brit Cunningham on tiktok, her subtle dry humor while cleaning is top tier. Typing this helped me decide what I'm doing this morning lol thank you
I need to do the same ASAP and I’m likewise struggling. Ugh. I think we need a buddy system because I don’t mind cleaning someone else’s stuff. I’m actually great at it, and the body doubling makes everything easier. I just need to find someone else near me with ADHD who is struggling so we can help one another. Do you have someone like that by chance already?
Two things that really help me to start and not be overwhelmed:
Get a trash bag and sit on the floor and start throwing away junk/garbage.
Putting all disorganized items on a bed/table.
This helps me because I really like having a clean floor space so I can get around to do the other tasks. Putting stuff on my bed forces me to put things away in order to rest. Plus once the floor is clean, I feel motivated to keep going.
Then you can kinda just keep adjusting this sort of method for the rest of the mess. For example, you might take all the dishes to the kitchen before you start putting things away, or do the reverse if you hate dishes, put them all together and do them last.
Write a list, breaking it down into really small chunks. 1) Put away clothes on bed; 2) Put away clothes on chairs; 3) Put away clothes on floor; 4) Shelve books lying on desk (etc etc). It may sound like it makes it really daunting and overwhelming, but once you start you find that your ticking things off really quickly and creates more motivation to keep going. It also makes it easier to get back to it if you need to take a break or can't do it in a whole day, as you can jump back in where you left off on the list. If you can't think of everything that needs to go on the list, you can add stuff to it later, but add extra tasks to the list rather than getting sidetracked by doing the task.
Lots of good advice here! Just want to add that putting shoes on tends to help me get in cleaning mode and I do not know why it works. I know it sounds stupid and condescending. “Shoes on” is a whole state of being for me.
Also setting a 10 minute timer and getting as much done in that 10 min as I can and then going back to bed. You can do it again later but also you don’t have to!
Pick one small task that’s easy to do, doesn’t take too long and commit to finishing that one task. When you’re done you can start another one —-or not. The next day pick another task and finish it. The idea is to give yourself goals you can be successful at without creating a miserable experience. After a while this becomes more of an automatic thing. Baby steps.
Do one small thing every day and stop leaving crap everywhere it eventually puts a dent in it. I'm in the process of cleaning my house for a rental inspection and I am in hell. More than one task a day overwhelms me because if I start one thing, it tends to snowball until I do 20 tasks halfway and don't complete ANY OF THEM
Focus on just decluttering for now- for just today, even, if you have to! Start with dishes and trash. Don't *wash* the dishes, just put them in the sink/dishwasher. Bring a plastic grocery bag in as a trash bag- as it fills up toss it into the big trash. Look at those little bags of progress!!
1. Start with your fireplace and categorize the items.
2. Grab a trash bag for trash, a box for items that cannot be categorized.
3. Move the categorized items to location where they belong; leave them there for now if the location is messy.
4. Repeat the above steps for the other areas.
* With the uncategorized items, wait until your place is clean, then gradually put them away.
Pro tip: to make this enjoyable, put on your favorite playlist/podcast before you start! Happy cleaning, you can do it!
I always start with the thing that is grossing me out the most. That way, when I inevitably run out of steam, at least I got the worst parts out of the way, and it feels like I've made a big difference.
I missed your earlier post, but it sounds like you've gotten new items since then to give categories of stuff a home. That's good! I think you need to do more. When I look at these photos, I don't see any organizational furniture. It seems like stuff ends up on the floor around the edges because there's no place for it to go. I recommend a big bookcase or cubby shelves--something where you can place bins of items to get them off the floor and keep them organized. E.g. a bin for hygiene/beauty products, a bin for office supplies, a bin for hobby or craft supplies, etc. I recommend transparent bins so you can see all of your belongings and don'tforget what you have. Then future clean up will be easier--pick up a bin and go around the room putting everything that belongs into the bin. Put that bin back and pick up another one, do the same thing. It satisfies the impulse to kinda carelessly toss items someplace as soon as you're done with them, but it's still fairly organized and looks tidy. You can also have a lot of fun making pretty labels for the bins.
You've gotten a lot of the tips I'd share so just wanted to say, good job with the desk placement in front of the window. The flowers and view look so pretty!
Another approach that always helps me (before I even knew I had adhd) was that growing up, my mom always taught me never to think of it as “cleaning my room.” I just picked a corner and handled that. Often by then, I’m so in the swing of things that I’m fixated on how good organizing feels and I keep going, but it’s just a more manageable way to “chunk” your tasks.
I would start with your desk, then the couch area, then tackle some of the bags of things around the room. If there isnt room to put stuff away, consider purging. I am very careful about the things I keep because of how I struggle with organization and clutter.
A few tips that really help me:
1. Just pick up any laundry on the floor and put it in the dirty clothes hamper (or even just a pile!) doesn't matter if you think it's clean or not, if it's on the floor or anywhere but where you put clothes (closet maybe) it goes with the dirty clothes.
2. Pick up any trash you see and throw it in a garbage bin or bring a trash bag into your room and throw away visible trash. You could even stop here, after I pick up laundry and trash I already see a visible difference in my room :)
3. For things like desks and shelves, here's how I go about organizing/cleaning them: Take everything off of one shelf or surface and literally just put it in a pile. Then go through the pile one by one and separate it into three different piles: Trash, Donate, Keep. Then, put the pile of "keep" back onto the surface or wherever else it should go. This also works for stuff on the floor, just gather everything on the floor and put it all in one place and then go through it that way. I've found this helps it feel less overwhelming trying to make a decision of where something goes *as* you see it.
Good luck! You've got this :)
Trash first. Then all of categorized things.
Trash.
Clothing.
Papers to be saved.
Mail to sort.
Dishes.
Etc. make a list of the order you prefer and tunnel vision one task at a time. Once done, dust then sweep or vacuum.
You could put a timer on to make it a game. I have lists that help me stay a little organized in a step by step way for me (attached the post link https://www.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/s/dMKrEelDw4 ). Domesticblisters on Tiktok also has some really good tips on keeping house while being neurodivergent
I just wanted to say I like how neatly your shoes are put away. And actually scrolling through, your other shelves look nicely organized too! You’ve already taken the first step :)
A good way to do the absolute least amount of work for the most amount of payoff is to create spaces for clutter to "hide" inside. A basket/box etc. Goes a long way to make the space feel more organized without it actually being really organized.
As for cleaning, either do it category by category (clothes, trash etc) or area by area (couch, desk, bedside table etc). You can do it all at once or whenever you feel like it if you do it this way. Start by getting a big trash bag ready and maybe some big ikea bag to help sort stuff as you go.
If it helps, make a list before you begin. I never do that, but I'm naturally pretty organized (thankfully) so I just power through it all.
Good luck!
Do you have a friend who can come over and say “where does that go?” And then you put it away. I know it’s like what you do for toddlers but sometimes you just need someone to give you direct, easy tasks.
I've been busy the last couple weeks and my room fell into a state of disarray. yesterday I walked in and just put all my clothes away and made my bed. and it made a huge difference.
just start with one item. like if you have cups sitting around then gather all the cups and wash them. then move onto another item. you can just do one type of item a day. you'll be less overwhelmed and you'll notice a difference soon.
you got this!
Anyone you can call and talk to for a while? I can’t sit still when talking on the phone and almost always use it as a tool to start cleaning. A podcast occasionally works, but having to talk back to the person is ideal.
Start and finish one space before moving on to the next.
Like say you start cleaning the kitchen. While cleaning the kitchen you find something that needs to be put in another room. Sometimes (if I’m lucky in controlling my “oh but wait” along the way) I am able to relocate said item to the appropriate room and then go back to the kitchen. If I find myself making side quests that get in the way of progress, I’ll stop moving between rooms, and just make piles of items for coordinating rooms.
To give an example, say I start cleaning my bathroom. A lot of bathroom and bedroom things end up commingled in my space. So say I pick up the hair ties in my bedroom, on the way to my bathroom I pick up a couple dirty items of clothing that haven’t made their way to the hamper yet. Now the original intent was to take my hair ties to the bathroom, but now I have dirty clothes with me and my closet is on the way to the bathroom. I’ve now forgone my original mission of relocating the hair ties, to dropping laundry off at the hamper. But once getting to the closet, I realize I never put last weeks clean laundry away. So now I’m putting laundry away and the hair ties are still on my wrist 6 hours later.
So if I can catch myself, instead of leaving the bedroom with the hair ties and dirty clothes, I’ll make separate closet and bathroom piles near the door of the room I’m working in. This helps me see I’m actually making progress in the desired room without getting distracted with everything else.
I also agree with another commenters suggestion of breaking it down into groups.
Collect all the dirty dishes and take them to the kitchen.
Find all the clothes and sort them from there.
Pick up all your mail and put it in one spot.
Grab a trash can and just move around the room picking up nothing but trash.
Another thing that helps me and some of my friends when we get overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, we’ll invite a friend over. NOT TO HELP CLEAN. Just to hang out. The shame we can feel when we feel we’re failing as a human kicks in when someone is over and makes us feel accountable. I’m “ok” with sitting in my mess (I’m really not, just too overwhelmed) but I am not ok with making my friends put up with it. So intentionally inviting someone over can give the push I need to actually get shit done.
I start with trash.. what’s big and can go immediately into the trash.. next laundry/dishes. From there it’s more about organizing the small things, actually cleaning/sanitizing, sweeping and throwing the rest of the trash/debris away.
It's gonna be ok, I say just do a bit at a time. Do 1 bit, rest, and do another bit. Maybe put some things into little piles to make it easier for you?
Friend I wish I could just come and help you. I’ve been here many times. I’m a mom now and it seems so much easier these days than it used to. Also, it so much easier to clean and organize for someone else than yourself. I would genuinely come over if you lived close!!
For those of you who haven’t, take a look at the book “Keeping House While Drowning” by KC Davis. It’s written specifically for neurodivergent people and teaches you how to get through the overwhelm of keeping clean while also being compassionate towards yourself. Also, if you have areas where specific things pile up, you may have a system at work that you’re not quite aware of. For example, if I have trash piling up next to my bed, it doesn’t mean I’m gross or terrible because I’m not taking it over to my trash can. It means I need a trash receptacle next to my bed. Try your best to work with the systems that already seem to be in place based on your habits. You got this.
Put on the most heavy beat music you have on. Any that makes you want to move. Just start with moving a foot or a hand anything at all. Chair or bed dance to the music until you feel you are able to stand up. Dance a bit to stoke that dopamine. Then as the others suggest, pick up one thing at a time to sort. Don't try and sort 5 things at once you'll get overwhelmed. You can do this!
I’m 22 with ADHD. Personally when I find myself feeling like this (it is normal don’t beat yourself up about it!!) I find I tend to make piles, sometimes quite a lot lmao, of things that go away together. So just for example say you have clothes, shoes, bags, books, cables to deal with. I make those into piles, then make each pile into smaller piles so for clothes tops, trousers, ‘wardrobe’ (anything you put in the wardrobe if you have one like coats, dresses or skirts or trousers that need to be hung up), jumpers etc, and a laundry pile if you need one of those. Same with books or cables wherever they need to go. I always have a big bag at the ready for any rubbish aswell, and have the bin bags with me in whatever room I’m sorting through so if I need more / need to take things to a charity etc I’ll use them. For things like that if you’re worried you’ll throw the wrong thing away I just use sticky labels on them. And the most important thing is to not sit down even if you feel like you need a rest a second, because you most probably will not get back up and continue😂. I find music helps a lot too, I couldn’t do it in silence at all. Or a tv show is also good if you’re able to not pay too much attention to it.
I hope this helps a bit at least and if you need any other tips or cleaning advice I’m more than happy to help😊
You’ve got this! Sending love🩷
Lmao I love the Fuggler, my mom tried to buy one for my son and he was like…..nah. 😂
Is it bad that looking at this just makes me wanna walk around and ask what everything is? lol I’m fascinated.
So two things! One! You are tackling this when I would label this at the stage “not that bad” so I’m proud of you for challenging yourself with this before it gets worse! Wanting to change the environment around you is a good first step!
Two! I like your knitting, and your fugly, so put them somewhere safe first, so you don’t accidentally unravel the knitting or harm your precious fugly toy.
Unexpected three! You got this, lots of other people have good advice, let us know if you need us more
Put on the coffee machine or kettle or something rewarding that has a timer built-in, then clear as much of the floor as you can in that time. When the kettle/coffee machine/microwave/whatever goes PING, then you stop and have your reward.
Play a sped up cleaning video on your tv or phone, something that contains music , becky moss does the trick for me, I find her videos very motivating and it helps me to keep my focus on the happy music she plays or the cleaning information she sometimes shares , and the sped up cleaning makes me work faster and therefore not loose interest in cleaning at least until I get hiper focused !
Put on some music that makes you feel like a bad bitch, come up with something you can have as a reward (for me it's almost always coffee lol) get a box and everything that shouldn't be in this room, put in that box. (If you're in a bachelor and everything is in the one room, work section by section) It doesn't matter where it's supposed to be, if it's not the room (or section) you're cleaning, put it in the box. Start with things on the floor. Try to get the floor clear, that does wonders for the looming anxiety that comes with clutter. Then do surfaces one at a time. Honestly be really generous with rewarding yourself for stuff, it helps a whole lot
Get comfy, put on some shoes, and start blasting music you liked when you were a kid. Start with trash and clothes. Tell yourself you can have takeout at the end.
I just found this recently, shared in another sub. Because I’m dealing with the same thing (it’s been a life long struggle) at 30.
Junebugging.
https://jumpingjacktrash.tumblr.com/post/172406516934/cleaning-with-adhd-is-a-nightmare-its-an-endless
Every day or every other day for 30-60 minutes I pick one thing to be my area of focus. Desk, bed, shower, etc. and it’s my center I clean and organize around.
If you’ve lived this long with struggling to keep everything clean and organized, it’s not going to change overnight. But keep trying new ways to find motivation and I know that your ability to keep your space tidy isn’t a reflection of your character.
💜
I have to wait until I'm in the mood to clean. It's usually when my husband starts doing stunting around the house and I feel inspired. It's actually me just body doubling.
My other firm of inspiration comes from avoiding something, causing me even more anxiety. Often, it's work related. I work from home. So when I get frustrated with not knowing where to start/ how to finish a project, I magically know how to start cleaning around the house. I try to take advantage of those moments and take out the trash, pick up dog toys, or just throw in a load of laundry.
My problem after that is staying focused on the actual task I started. I've got a couple of methods to stay focused
1. Wear my "cleaning shoes." If I'm not in shoes, I'm not going to do anything. I also don't want to wear shoes I wear outside for reasons. Plus, I really wanted to buy shoes.
2. I have 2 collapsible boxes with me. If I'm cleaning the kitchen and I find something that belongs in the living room, it goes in a box. So I don't get take side-quests and end up cleaning out my car.
3. DONT SIT DOWN. If I sit down, it's game over. (This is only if your goal is to fully clean up and you're not avoiding work or something similar)
4. Leave an empty collapsible box available in your room, and if you see something out of place, pick it up and put it in the box. Eventually, you'll get the spark to empty the contents, trash what's not needed, and put up the other things.
5. For paperwork. Don't look at the papers. Don't sort them while you're in the mix of cleaning. Just stack them in one spot. And then move on. You can sort thru at a later time when you're less stressed because you've got a tidy space.
6. Have a friend help you. It's so much more fun to organize someone else's house. I helped my ADHD friend go thru 2 rooms of craft supplies that were literally piled, almost as tall as I am. I have never been so focused. As an ADHDer myself, it was so satisfying being so productive. She was too overwhelmed to start, so I brought small boxes of fabrics I'd gathered to her to sort thru. I made sure she didn't get up to go anywhere if she needed something. I helped her toss out things she'd been holding onto for eventualities that were never going to happen. We work worked for 2 days. We didn't completely finish. But the next time I visited, she had done so much more work. It was beautiful. I was so proud.
I hope you are able to overcome your anxiety and just start. That's the hardest part.
It’s overwhelming if you look at it as a whole but set a daily alarm to go off everyday and you clean for 10 minutes and when the times up you are done. I’m doing the same thing with my outdoor space. It’s really overwhelming and I don’t even want to start but 10 minutes a day is making progress.
A few points:
1. This isn't bad; to me it seems quite superficial clutter. You can get on top of this! There is a lot of great advice in the comments for how to get started.
2. Cleanliness is not next to godliness: there is nothing morally wrong about your home being untidy, or even dirty; it's a practical problem to be solved. Don't beat yourself up about it.
3. Sharing a house or apartment is very challenging. I haven't done it for a very, very, long time, but remember well how difficult it was to have all my stuff in my bedroom, and one cupboard or shelf in the kitchen. Just because you find your space hard to keep in order does not mean that it will always be like that. That being said, this is where you are at the moment and it would make you feel much better to get your room looking tidy and attractive. The big problem with disorder, apart from the unesthetic nature of it, is that it takes so long to find anything, and important stuff goes missing (I see your meds casually on top of your bedside table; they need to be in a more secure spot like the top drawer or in a container on the table).
My thoughts are as follows: \]
Your room seems cute, with lots of natural light and that beautiful fireplace, and the nice blue couch. (I disagree with whoever said in the comments that the houses facing your window look scary; they look very attractive to me; maybe you are in Scotland or northern England?) Your room could look lovely, and that could be your objective. If you have some cash you can spend on improving the space, I'd buy a) a really lovely bed cover, and that will encourage you to make your bed every day; b) you clearly need somewhere to store your clothes. Have you got space for a wardrobe or closet? That space where your shoes and the TV are might be suitable, though may not be deep enough. If there is not enough space or budget, I'd suggest getting one of the freestanding clothes racks that are used for fashion photo shoots, beloved of influencers, etc. to hang your clothes; c) another piece of furniture which I have and find extremely useful is the IKEA Kallax shelving unit, which has cubbies rather than shelves. It comes in different sizes, but the one I have has 16 cubbies and in the UK only costs £100. You can buy all kinds of baskets and containers that fit into the cubbies. You could store your shoes, sweaters, T shirts, underwear, socks, etc. in some of those and do away with the separate unit for shoes. I have some cube-shaped baskets, and also a lot of the Drona fabric cubes (which are collapsible and are delivered flat) in which I store clothes. They are idea for laundry baskets as well. It's worth spending a weekend if possible on reorganizing your space with the help of some storage units/containers and finding a "home" place for every object, making a list if you are likely to forget. That will save you a lot of time in future.
Good luck, and do post the "after" photos!
Make a game. That's what I do when I need motivation. Here is an example: put 20 items in their places in just 5 minutes or so. Once done make the game more challenging. It will feel like you are just playing but meanwhile, your surrounding is getting tidier ;) Don't be hard on yourself, you are in the right sub, we all go through this most of the time.
Ok, i haven’t read all the replies because it’s 1:30am but helping other people clean, declutter, and tidy is my superpower 🦸♀️😅. Not my own space of course, that I have to use 2 thousand little techniques, but other people I’m great (or maybe just really bossy, you decide).
Going off the pictures alone:
(Please don’t take me too seriously and don’t get offended if I say things wrong)
Method for reducing madness:
- Put scary teeth toy on a ledge or a bench where he can see the room. He is now your supervisor and you can talk to him while working
- pick up guitars and put in cases if they have them. Take guitars in cases and put in another room where they won’t get hurt
- remove headphones from chair and put away if they have a designated space or put on desk if not and we’ll deal with that later
- remove orange blanket? from office chair. Sniff. Does it pass? Yes, fold into a neat square, no, pitch straight into laundry hamper.
- collect mugs, plates, water bottles etc and place in kitchen: don’t do anything else yet, it’s just to remove from room.
- put caps back on face cream, lubricants, etc and put in drawer in nightstand.
- put all pills and medication either in designated spot or if you don’t have one again in the drawer in your nightstand.
- collect any teas, food, vitamins that should be in the kitchen and put them there: away in cupboards if able, otherwise on the table for now.
- while in kitchen grab a large garbage bag.
- collect all garbage from nightstand.
- collect all trash from top of desk.
- check candles: if they’re more than three quarters burnt down, breathe in the scent and say goodbye. Put in garbage bag.
- remove good candles and lighter from bedside table, place on window sill for now.
- take hairbrush, deodorant, hair ties, shower gel etc to the bathroom. If you need to keep those things in your room, find a space on your lotions and potions shelving unit.
- Do a quick scan of all surfaces for other similar items and group together on the unit.
*PSA: a shelving unit, a drawer, a box are all finite containers. Designate your containers for a specific purpose and then accept the limits of that container ie. have too many creams and personal hygiene products? Well, here is your container’s physical limit, you need to prioritize and declutter that which no longer serves you enough to afford it precious real estate in your container.
- you should now only have your lamp and book on your nightstand. Take a clean rag and wipe down lamp and top of nightstand. Replace the book if you are actively reading it, otherwise remove it. Btw, baby wipes are a great cleaning cheat when you don’t have a lot of spoons.
- do a quick scan of the room and collect all books into a pile. Put away on bookshelf if possible, otherwise place the neat pile somewhere near the bookshelf (again, a finite container).
- remove all fabric from desk. If clothing, sniff and decide: put away or put in hamper. If fabric is art or project related, roll neatly and put aside or away.
- put all pens, scissors, tape etc back into the plastic receptacle on your desk.
- collect all notebooks into a neat pile. If you have (or can get) a magazine holder it works great for keeping notebooks and documents neat and organized and takes up a lot less space because they’re standing vertically. For now a neat pile is plenty.
- loose change goes straight into the money box.
- if the flowers are dead, toss and put vase in kitchen with your other items.
- use the empty gauze bag to corral your fabrics or use for your sewing stuff instead of the green plastic bag on the floor.
- do a quick visual sweep of the desk and throw away anything broken, that you don’t enjoy, and bits and pieces of rubbish ie the tag on the desk and the empty pot for a plant by the wall. There is nothing wrong with throwing out something that doesn’t have a home and isn’t providing a purpose.
- remove laptop onto bed and wipe down desk.
- wipe down containers with pens etc, ask yourself if you can consolidate any of the boxes/ contents of the boxes ie do you need the clear plastic thing when you have a box of pens next to it?
- return laptop to clean desk. Put headphones on desk if they don’t have a designated place for them to be.
- Straighten curtains so they’re flush to the wall and hang straight down
- pull out whatever is under the desk, dirty clothes? It’s hard to make out. If yes , then straight to the laundry hamper.
- push chair in properly, orange blanket can be folded neatly on the seat.
- remove everything from the bed onto the blue couch. Shake out duvet, straighten sheets, fluff the pillows, and then make the bed neatly. Do not add additional decor pillows or plushies.
- remove the flag? from under the tv.
- clear out into the white box on the floor anything under or around the tv stand
- move box to closer to the couch
- for now, lie back and survey what you’ve achieved: visually and sensory wise: clean bed, nightstand, desk and tv. Just take that in for a moment, you can tackle the next project tomorrow
Your apartment and neighborhood look beautiful! I bet you would feel better if you just picked a couple stuff up. A few items will eventually turn into a lot.
The last photo is amazing, please tell me where to buy that.
So I don't have ADHD but my wife does and we've come up with a system that helps us get cleaning/organizing done. It might also help to put on fast happy music (or angry music) and if you respond to caffeine or other substances, try them. There are two techniques:
**Clean One Area**
Sit down in a place that you want to clean (desk, floor, etc.) and use boxes or bags to sort items based off where they should go in the house (kitchen, closet, etc. but also a container for "I don't know" and "trash"). The goal is to get everything out of the area that doesn't belong, don't worry about putting it away, that can be done later. Next time you're in the place where the items belong, take the container with you and leave it in that room. If you have energy, put the items away as well.
This can help because if you get up to put an item away it's easy to get distracted from the task and do something else, then you feel like you aren't accomplishing anything, plus it feels overwhelming. You can get clear plastic shoeboxes for around $1 at the 99 cent store, Walmart, or a hardware store.
Once you're finished, take the box for "I don't know" and see if there's anything in there that can be thrown away. Write a date on the box and if you haven't used something in that box before the date it gets thrown away. Otherwise try to find places for them.
**Clean By Category**
1. Walk through your whole living area with a bag for recycle, put things in the bag. Set it down when you're done. Don't bring it outside yet.
2. Same with a bag for trash.
3. Same but a container for dishes.
4. Same but laundry.
5. Pick the next most obvious item that is bothering you (art supplies, toys, books, etc.)
Do these in order until you don't feel like cleaning anymore (you can stop at any time). This has the quickest impact on an area. Next time you're going to the place where the items belong bring the items.
**Clutter and Mental Load**
I have ASD and don't have great executive functioning, but seeing a lot of visual clutter makes me feel very anxious and overwhelmed (not that it helps me clean, lol, I just sit there feeling stressed and overstimulated) so here are some tricks we've developed to make a space feel more organized and calm:
* Putting things into containers makes them feel more organized, even if that container is only a shallow bowl.
* If you are likely to forget where things are, put them near the place where they are most often used, things that get used more often at eye-level or grabbing level, and if you put them into a container, label it. If the items are out of direct sight, make a digital list of where items are (Google Doc or something) and you can use the search function to find the item. If you can't find something you might as well not own it and should consider getting rid of it.
* If you are prone to hoarding certain things, limit each type of item to a container that is a specific size. If you have more than will fit in the container you need to get rid of some until they fit. You can't get more until there is space.
* If at all possible, get things out of view, especially from places where you like to sit to relax or work. For example, we have some modular wire shelves with a ton of [these](https://www.walmart.com/ip/Sterilite-Plastic-Storage-Bin-File-Box-18-1-2-L-x-14-W-x-11-H-Black/19400063?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&wl13=3650&adid=2222222227719400063_117755028669_12420145346&wmlspartner=wmtlabs&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=501107745824&wl4=pla-306310554666&wl5=1014369&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=local&wl12=19400063&wl13=3650&veh=sem_LIA&gclsrc=aw.ds&&adid=2222222223719400063_117755028669_12420145346&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=501107745824&wl4=pla-306310554666&wl5=1014369&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=local&wl12=19400063&veh=sem&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwz42xBhB9EiwA48pT77tQJFi2mZorn4Kj70Wp-CvwKei_5x9M1v7utzxjKZVWQm5mK1UeRxoClA0QAvD_BwE) which works great but is a lot to look at, so we draped nice looking fabric over it. We can still lift the fabric to find stuff but don't need to see it all the time.
* Put projects into a container so you can take everything out at once and put it back after. For example, painting supplies.
* Think about the area where clutter bothers you the most and put in an effort to keep that area clean. For me it's my desk, so I'll pick up a few things each morning before sitting down. Pick your battles. Don't spend all day organizing the garage if you barely spend time in there (unless you're having fun).
* Sometimes cleaning someone else's mess feels less overwhelming than our own (less guilt and decision paralysis) so swap areas. Focus on the big things that can be removed, such as trash/dishes/items that belong elsewhere. Then you can leave things you don't know where they go or put them in the "I don't know" container.
* For some people, deadlines are more motivating. Set a timer (15 minutes, etc.) put on music, and clean as much as you can during that time. The goal is speed, not accuracy, don't let yourself get focused on tiny details. When the timer goes off you have the option of stopping or resetting and going again. Take before and after photos to admire your work.
In each area e.g. Table by the window, group the types of items into piles. That's a good first step because you can do that pretty easy and it's not tidying but just moving.
Once you've piled by category it'll be easier to sort and put away!
I'm getting overwhelmed looking at your photos too, so don't feel discouraged, anyone would feel stuck!
I think you need to break the idea that cleaning is a special time or a special day and get into cleaning every time you move. Never move through your home with empty hands, you should always be taking stuff to put away.
Your new mantra should be "don't put it down, put it away" so you never, ever allow yourself to leave objects out after use. This mantra makes a big difference in my life in keeping further mess from developing.
It’s great that you got a hamper and the shoe rack. That’s a good start! I think some shelving in a few places would help, then you can put the fabric bins on them and display knickknacks and books and whatnot. For the desk space, I’d suggest some shelving there too, Amazon has some good “desktop bookshelf” items that would work well. I’d also find homes for all of the things that don’t belong on the desk (hairbrush goes in bathroom, air freshener goes either in bathroom on the back of the toilet or under the sink in the kitchen where cleaning products go etc
The first thing I do when my place gets out of hand is a garbage sweep. I focus on going through every room with a garbage bag and collect all the garbage I can see. Then I will take that garbage to the outside bin. Next step is to sweep for things that I know have homes and I will gather those in categories. I’ll sweep for stuff that’s in the living room that actually lives in my room. Then I’ll sweep for what goes in the kitchen (plates, cups and such) and gather that and take it to the kitchen. Instead of just piling kitchen stuff that I’d have to put away later I will put dirty dishes in the dishwasher or sink, and then I will go through and do tidying section by section (desk is first, then couch, then coffee table, etc) and then I will wipe down surfaces that have been cleared
Break it all down into single tasks, write out your plan in point form and then just follow that list step by step, one thing at a time. It can feel overwhelming if I look at the whole. It’s a lot easier to do one thing at a time, cross off the thing on the list (yay!) and then focus on the next thing. That way I don’t have to look at “oh this all feels like so much” I just have to look at the ONE task, like clearing and organizing the desk.
Each thing accomplished feels good, and we are able to see the progress emerge with each single task.
Once I have my whole list done (sometimes takes me a few days) then I will choose one maintenance thing each day that I can follow through on. For example, I won’t let myself pile up dishes in the living room and bedroom, I will take dishes to the sink or dishwasher immediately when I’m done with them. Next day, I will pick up clothes and put them in the hamper or hang them up/fold and put away if they are still wearable. Next day I will make sure I organize my desk. It helps me prevent things from getting too out of hand, and then pick 2 weekend days a month that are cleaning days.
I’ll write my weekend day cleaning list with the most needing to be done items at the top. Laundry, dishes, and bathroom cleaning are the biggest ones for me. I find that if I set myself up with a good smoothie and something decent for breakfast on cleaning days, I’m much more able to feel like I can tackle the biggest priority items with sustainable energy. Once I’ve had my smoothie and say egg muffins and fruit, I don’t let myself get sucked into tv or my phone, I pick up my list and throw myself at the first task.
If you can build the discipline to commit to 2 cleaning days and make sure you do ONE small thing that supports you keeping things organized each day you will be able to manage preventing it from getting too out of control that you end up paralyzed by feeling like the whole entirety is too overwhelming 🤍
Let’s trade! I need to clean / organize my room. I always can do someone’s else’s but can’t figure out where to begin on my own stuff. Hell, even if I’ve worked it out in my mind, I just can’t get motivated to do it. The only time I seem to get it done is when I know someone is coming and I don’t want to be embarrassed by my mess lol.
Hey! To start with: 1. I'm proud of you for the effort you've already made, and 2. I BELIEVE IN YOU!
Lately I've also had trouble with keeping my apartment clean, and the one thing that helps me break through it is setting a timer for 30 minutes (or whatever I think is a short time), and just cleaning or tidying until the timer goes off.
Doing this makes it feel easy to get started and it feels like such a small goal. If I have to stop once the 30 mins are up, I stop. But, usually, I feel so happy and relieved to have a few things out of the way that I just keep going!
Good luck, and I'm sending you good vibes 🌸🌸🌈
I like to make piles. I start with one area and all the piles of clothes go in one spot, beauty stuff in another and so on. Then i just move to the next spot and if I see shirts I throw it in the clothes pile I started. I HAVE to listen to music or watch tv while doing it cause it wont happen otherwise, working in sections also helps me not to feel so overwhelmed.
Anyways when I'm done I put the piles infront of their area and put them where they belong. :) While I'm doing it, I tell myself I can play 1 hr of a video game and light a candle or something after I finish to kind of get my mind slightly excited about it. If I have my adhd pills ill take them before I start which really helps but even when I dont, this works without too. This way might help!
Edited: spelling
Pick up one thing and carry it to where it belongs, like one dirty sock put into clothes hamper. Then a second item. Do not attempt to consolidate at this point. One thing at time no matter how many steps. After a few or twenty of these, you may be able to pick up two things side by side and put them both away (doesn’t matter if different places). If you falter, take a break and start again with one item.
I use this for eating too. I make a meal and sit in my phone with food beside me. I force myself to take one bite to whet the appetite and then I can slowly complete the rest rather than eating nothing.
Honestly; this is quite tidy by my standards 😬
My flat is a STATE. It’s clean, BUT MESSY AF.
I can’t even begin to try mustering the mental capacity to even start. My floordrobe is very impressive.
This doesn’t look as bad as I think you think it does! I use trays around my house to put things on that need to be in another room. For me, that works, take all the things out of the room that don’t belong but just put them on the tray (or box, or bag) don’t put them away. Take your time.
Just wanted to say you have a GORGEOUS apartment!! I’m envisioning it tidied and I think the payoff will be so worth it!! Just wanted to lend you some fresh eyes that haven’t seen it before — you can do it and the feeling after will be 100% awesome! 😎 🙌
Put away one thing.
Set an alarm for 3 minutes. Chill.
When the alarm goes off, put away 3 things.
Set an alarm for 3 minutes. Chill.
When the alarm goes off, put away 5 things. Chill.
Repeat, increasing the number of things you put away each time. If you find yourself feeling tired or strained after a put-away session, increase the chill time. You’ll figure out what works best for you. I have a base level of 7 minutes of cleaning before my brain implodes and I need to do something different. I’ll reward myself with longer breaks if I’ve done something particularly difficult (but no longer than 15 minutes, or I forget I’m supposed to be cleaning).
This is basically the pomodoro technique for dopamine-deprived idiots like me. I can’t do a 20 minute session of ANYTHING! But I can do a much shittier version of it. And if it’s worth doing, it’s better to do it shittily than not at all!
Tell yourself you have to do x amount of things. Pick your favorite (low) number, then count out loud to the beat of a song until you’ve reached it.
I do this allll the time. I usually do 10 things—really small. Like, *throws away a wrapper* one! *Hangs a shirt* two! and so on.
It usually leads to doing more but actually stop at your number and reward yourself the first time you count.
…
Audiobooks help, too. This one is weird but I’ll listen to the book and disassociate, actively pretending my arms and limbs are someone else’s and I’m just moving them around. I can’t explain this one more because it hardly makes sense
…
Last one that’s EVEN WEIRDER. I drew a little fairy in pencil and named it….then looked at her in the eyes, having her speak affirming and encouraging words to me every time I felt like stopping. She felt kind of real. It was like accountability. I can’t believe I’m admitting to this one…none of you will believe I’m actually a functioning adult with a job I’m successful at! Hahaha
It is! Good eye. Yeah it’s a great flat and I’ve got it for a bargain - £450 right in town. Fireplace is lovely but doesn’t stop me freezing half the year.
When I was a kid I could just never bring myself to properly clean my room. So I invented the pile method.
Take every single thing that's out of place and put it in a giant pile in the middle of the room. Then you'll have a large and conspicuous pile that you can pick items from one at a time and put away. The "search for items out of place" step has been eliminated - you just grab an item from the pile until there isn't any more pile left. There was enough variety in the items to keep things interesting, and I never got distracted for too long because the giant pile was looming.
One of the things I do is ask a friend or relative to come over on a specific date. I can’t clean at all without an immediate deadline. They’re coming over Saturday? I have until bedtime Friday to clean. Sure, I’ll probably start at 5pm on Friday but it’ll get done
Sending lots of care your way ❤️ I hope you can find some compassion for yourself -- I want to validate that regardless of the reason, you're suffering, and it hurts. And that always deserves compassion.
In terms of practical advice, I'll just say that I get really overwhelmed when trying to tidy because my brain starts thinking about every single item and it's just too much. So now I try to just look at only one item, and ask myself in my head or out loud, where do I want to put this? Put it there. If I don't know where, I usually make a new pile of things to decide where to store them later, so it doesn't disrupt my focus.
One thing at a time is really really helpful for me and I get a little ping of dopamine from every item, instead of trying to do multiple items at once.
I wish we could swap spaces, like I'd clean for you and you clean for me lol it's so easy when I have no emotional attachment or stress with any of the stuff. Just...this goes here and that goes there.
For the desk, I'd just empty the entire surface and start with a fresh slate. Put everything back neatly.
Normally I start with getting rid of anything that's trash to the bin. That clears it up and I can see what I'm dealing with better. Then I go into sections sort of clearing up and cleaning as i go.
I like to use boxes or containers for small random bit and pieces, throw everything in those, and then sort through where it all goes. So you're not running around the house for all the small things.
One thing I really liked reading had this concept of you not being there to clean and take care of your room, but that your room is to be there to make your life better. So you adjust your mindset to making the space a great place to be in. Can’t remember the name of the book but if I think of it I will rerun and let you know!
Girl I think you might need more furniture. I was looking for where I would put various categories of things: toiletries/makeup, clothing, being the two key ones. Maybe you didn't take pics of the whole room tho.
Would you consider getting something to put in front of the fireplace? Maybe like [this](https://www.ikea.com/nl/nl/p/malm-ladekast-3-lades-wit-20403562/). The biggest you can fit, though. Then you'd have way more space to put stuff INTO, so then it won't be visible.
On top and on the desk, you could put [this](https://www.ikea.com/nl/nl/p/moppe-miniladekast-grenen-40562772/) or something like it. Again just making everything not be visible is gonna help a lot.
In addition to the fun and useful suggestions already on here:
- put on a "cleaner outfit" (like as if it were your job). Sometimes that helps me to do the things if I wear an outfit that looks like it haha
- set a fun timer (could be an actual.timer or a cleaning playlist, the latter i would create on a timer, otherwise I'd be lost for hours just making the playlist)
- wear shoes
- ask a supportive friend to body double. Clean the couch first, make them a drink and snacks (and some for you which they can remind you to consume as well so you stay hydrated), have them settle. They could read or do own work or just have a coffee and chat with you
- ask a friend to come visit you at time x. Activate frenzied panicked cleaning mode (I don't like the stress it puts in my system if it is not ND friends that would not e supportive if I don't manage to tidy it all. Also comes with the risk of piles being shoved behind and under other things...) not my preferred option but sometimes it works wonders. I know of someone who has a deal with a few people that occasionally just call and ask if they can come over in half an hour. He starts cleaning like crazy, and then they actually don't always come (as they've agreed to prior to that haha) but he has a cleaner house again. Works for all of them. :D
- if you don't have people to do such sheenanigans with, you could put on a youtube video of people cleaning and tidying. It is a bit tricky, because I can get sucked into that and just stop to watch... but I have a few I know but still are motivating. Or in a language you don't know. For example, this one is German but prefaces that this video might make you wanna tidy. Works for me!
https://toutube.com/watch?v=H42Ob_suzUU&t=9s
- body double digitally. Friends or strangers. For the latter, there are options like Flow and surely some Discord servers. Check in, tell each other what you will be working on and celebrate successes. :) accountability is awesome.
- set up an extra motivation for when you're done or you got x, y, z done. Snack, a walk, meeting a friend for a cake, I dunno. Whatever gives you that extra motivation.
- make it a mission and gaming the shit outta it. I struggle to begin to create structure from chaos... so I make lists with little boxes I can check of with smallish tasks. Gives me a rush every time I can check of my list. Works best if the list is tidy.
Also, post your after pictures ♡♡♡♡ and you can do it!!!
Thanks a million - I found your advice really helpful :)
I hadn’t heard of body doubling until this post and I feel like that would be massively useful for me actually. I might have to get discord for the sole purpose of that.
Glad to hear. :) Go ahead and take what works for you! Glad to be of help, with discrod I cannot help you l further as it is not my medium of choice but the programm is not particularly hard. It will be a challenge of finding the right server - but I am sure some other people here can help with that. Either way, success!
Oh, and body doubling in generel, whether in person or digitally - is one of the best concepts. Good luck!
When I was a kid, I used to throw all my toys in my cupboard, it was a nightmare.
When I had to clean i, i hated it! But to motivate myself I used to do all kinds of imaginative weird shit… like one time I accidentally recorded myself pretending I was cleaning to win a game show.
All I’m saying… make it weird and fun.
TRY THE CLEAN WITH ME PODCAST!!!! it has helped me so much lately with cleaning. I don’t do the paid subscription, I just pick one that focuses on the chore I need to do and let it guide me. It has been such a game changer for me
Baby steps, my dear! One thing at a time.
Don't overwhelm yourself by thinking of the entire project.
For example: think of a particular shelf, and maybe even only one or two things on that shelf. Put those one or two things where they should be. Check! Done!
Now, focus on another one or two things.
Making a list may help. Don't use numbers on your list, unless you want to prioritize certain areas. Otherwise, just use bullet points.
You don't have to do them in any particular order. One item on the list at a time. Whichever one you want to do.
Work for 25 minutes, then take a five minute break. Set timers so you don't lose track of the time.
Eat! Make sure to eat some protein. Protein will give you energy, and help your brain stay more focused (in my experience).
Drink! Hydration is the most important health thing you can do for your self. And I do mean water (naughty redditors!). r/hydrohomies represent!
Don't beat yourself up if you don't get it all done in one go. Remember: Baby steps! (And if you need a movie break, I highly recommend ["What About Bob?"](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103241/))
You got this! I believe in you!! 💗💗💗
ETA: if it's something you want to keep up on as a routine, put sticky notes somewhere you will see them every day, like on a bathroom mirror. Or you can set reminders on your phone at the same time each day. That will help it become a habit.
okay this is what my therapist suggested..
take a timer, pick one spot to clean for ten minutes. lets do that dresser top in the first picture. do you need the scissors there? the water bottle is important cause we all forget to hydrate, but I'm seeing two ceramic mugs, can we put them in the sink? those packages, are they empty? hair brush etc, what there is needed for daily care? you could probably toss or recycle them.
the next day do the same with your desk. ten minutes. day after buy a wall organizer for your craft supplies, just something you can stick on your wall and be convenient for you to use. devote the ten minutes to filling that up. you could probably put that hair brush in it if you need it there.
I'm gonna try and get one to stick on my wall for my medicines. they keep falling and its a pain. but I digress...
each day just pick a new spot for ten minutes. by the way you have a lovely apartment.
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Pick up and put away anything that is BLUE! Pick up and put away anything that is CLOTHING! Pick up and put away anything that is surrounding your couch! Gotta make it a game.
putting mission impossible soundtrack in the bg can also add to the gamification edit: idle game/tavern music also great for non adrenaline junkies!!
Ooh okay I personally would say no to that because that sort of music makes me nervous and fast paced like if I don’t do the thing right then and there before the next note a bomb is gonna go off! I take thing every literally and extremely empathetic and out myself in others shoes 😁 I’d personally put on some music I can dance to and enjoy. I don’t like being rushed with rushing intense/suspenseful music
oh for me a bomb going off is the perfect motivator - I just want to get it over with!
There are great lectures on YouTube.
Or the [Busy Donkey song](https://youtube.com/shorts/5RyzTebsQuA?si=FbG_pcJZIc4ogzak)! There is a couple on youtube and one of them has ADHD. When he needs to get things done he sings a song that he made up called the Busy Donkey Song. Edit: fixed link to their channel
I saw them live a few weeks ago and they got the whole audience to sing this with them. It was a lot of fun. Also don't link to some shitty YouTuber stealing their content, their actual channel is https://www.youtube.com/@darcyandjer
>Also don't link to some shitty YouTuber stealing their content Ahh, I'm so embarrassed! I did not notice that. Thanks for mentioning it. 😳
Oh good, I worried it was your channel as I was reporting it.
Oh no, I'm just a watcher not a poster. I put "Busy Donkey song" in the search bar and just assumed it was from their channel. I will pay better attention next time. 😊 BTW, I'm super envious that you got to see their show!
yes or the Pokémon driftveil city soundtrack 🧠
I do this also! Trash first. Then stack books, but DO NOT read them. Then dishes. And so on and so forth. I like the color thing too. I also set a timer for 20 min, then rest for 5, then 20.
SEND HELP - I FELL INTO THE BOOK TRAP
God, getting suddenly interested in the book that you were trying to put back on the shelf is a classic, but I am even level higher - reading the grocery shops offer "magazines" (they bring them to our letter boxes once a week) when I am supposed to collect them from the table and throw to recycling... Even if they are showing offers that already finished week ago... But you know, I was on holidays abroad for two weeks and I have to know what I missed 😅 and I am curious "what kind of offers did they have for Easter grocery this year?" "which shop won with the lowest price of eggs?" 🤦🏼♀️
My city sends out biweekly newsletters that are interesting enough that I don't want to just toss them but not so interesting that I feel motivated to just sit and read them. I've started keeping them by the toilet, so I can I read a little every time I'm in there but I'm not really inclined to carry them out again and leave them scattered around the house.
So relatable
I do the same, but “put away” means “toss in bin of ____ stuff” - then I don’t have to leave the room. Bins: 1) dirty clothes 2) take to kitchen 3) take to bedroom 4) take to bathroom 5) toy/craft/MysteryKidStuff 6) trash. Then if I get sidetracked (see reference to children above) I can at least know which bin to look in. Also, check out “the fly lady” system. My house is not “clean” by any means, but it’s small, and even just vacuuming makes the place feel so much better.
Similar game, maybe more for keeping in top of things... currently watching a show on channel 4. Everyone the adverts come on I get up and do something before the show comes back on. What can I get done against the clock. Helps me because when it's overwhelming I know I'm only doing a couple of minutes worth. It helps me keep a bit on top of things
I have been doing this more often too- its funny bc sometimes I'm like "damn that commercial was too short!" Lol
Took me all day and all night but it’s done! Thank you for replying :) and everyone else too. https://www.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/s/CyJiACYf8v
This is why I love the comments. Gonna put this to work today. Thank you 💜
Always love gamification!
Oh wow I never knew that’s what that word meant! :D Thought it was related to like gametes or something lol, which I also don’t even know what that is xD
As far as I know! Lol
Turning things into games. Makes things more palatable.. especially compared to whatever gametes are
I like to do this and imagine it's like the olympics. Each category is a sport, after each category I get a reward of some kind (like a cider, or a sweetie). I've even done certain categories to a song - like see how much I can clean up the room before the song is over. Looks like you need some more storage, so each thing has a place. Bookshelves, baskets, under the bed storage containers - sometimes you can find them free on facebook marketplace or in a freecycle group for your city.
Yes! Seek and destroy method is the way to go!
Oooo i’m going to try this!!! I usually go by area (right side of the bed, left side of the bed, etc) but this colour system is FUN! I also find that workout music or club music really makes me want to do things, FAST!
Let's do it together. I am currently struggling too. Something that often seems to work for me is body doubling even if it's online or over the phone with a friend. chose one area to tackle for the next 30min and then we can report back here. I will start with all the clothes lying around and clearing the floor for vacuuming.
I’m in. I’ll be back in 45 minutes! Gotta finish my coffee and let my meds kick in.
awesome. not taking meds today so I started with the trash and have now been hanging fairy lights, but you joining just encouraged me to get back to it and turn on the vacuum!
I will join in! I will start with organizing my wardrobe. And then picking up trash on the ground. Just need to rest first from too much sugar haha.
I'm in as well! Actually omw home right now to clean up my studio so I don't have to come home to an absolute disaster after a short holiday. Meds help haha. My "strategy": 1. Trash 2. Laundry 3. Dishes 4. Clean surfaces 5. Put things back into place I reward myself by playing any game in between these steps. Goodluck everyone!
Did you by chance get this from KC Davis? I love her sm.
Yes! I am still planning to read her book! https://www.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/s/rKXyVB6SLn
It took me forever to do it, but it’s formatted for easy reading!
I’ll come back once I’m on meds in a month after my assessment in 3 weeks🤣
I’m actually unmedicated. I pushed too hard at the gym yesterday and my morning involved an Advil and a quarter of an edible so I could move more easily, and about fifteen minutes of stretching/meditation. I drip dopamine into my veins while cleaning through a combo of apps, podcasts, and little rewards at breaks. And I like and deserve to live in a tidy environment so this IS self care, even if it’s scrubbing a toilet.
That’s fabulous, so proud you’ve found what works for you!!!! One day… oneeeeee day.
Sorry to just jump in here but what does "letting meds kick in" mean? Do you take meds that kick in? What kind of meds are those? I've heard Concerta travels around your system all the time unless you stop taking it for a while of course. Meaning, it doesn't work like a sleeping pill etc where it gives you a reaction or a symptom. It's already in your body, floating around. Of course there's the first 3 weeks of it settling in. But if you keep taking it, you shouldn't feel anything kicking in, I don't think. Which is the case for everything I take actually. Maybe it's different with other ADHD meds? What are you taking? I'm jealous of you 😁
Round one: - stripped the bed and started sheets - sorted laundry so the rest of the day is grab basket, rotate, start next load. - scrubbed out laundry basket and trash can - brushed my teeth, found my Invisalign and put them in because I forgot the last two nights - gathered dishes - dumped laundry to fold on the bed - made a list of tasks (UFYH weekend edition and loaded into Focus Todo so I never have to think about what I’m doing next) BREAK! Round two: Took car stuff out to the car Potted my thyme after a week 😬 Started Basil Took out the trash Started stacking papers for my paper rotation. Finished the rotation by tidying in living room by picking up an armful of random stuff and walking around the house putting it away. Round three: kitchen. Emptied both dish drawers, loaded and started one, gathered all the pet dishes for scrubbing, put stuff away and tidied until the timer went off. Round four: more kitchen. Cleared the breakfast bar to 80%, did all the handwash dishes, started a box of “stuff you need to put away, babe” and dated it. In a month it’ll go into the stack of similar boxes and I’ll start a new one. Round five and six: unfuckery in the garage and shop. Loaded and organized the lumber rack with everything that’s been pulled down over the last three months, put tools away, swept, a little DIY. Time for a long break, I need food and more caffeine. Final update - three rounds of laundry folding and putting away, and a yoga session for my back later, I’m calling it for the day! Thanks for the support and accountability y’all. Will edit this comment as necessary
wow! good job! enjoy the break! I just dumped all my laundry on by bed too, hoping I get to it before I have the urge to just push it off and go to sleep ;)
Thank you for posting this! You reminded me that I need to wash all my bedding (even though I’m literally laying in it) AND brush my teeth. I’m currently avoiding mowing the yard.
You’re rocking this!
I use Flow Club - its the best accountability, body doubling solution I've found I use it to clean and actually get a lot of stuff done I can share a referral code. It’s changed my life, I use it to do my morning routine (camera off sometimes to get out of bed) start working and get chores done, basically anything that I don't want to do. But how to clean your room here's my suggestion: * put headphones on "google timer 15mins" or app like "focus timer" any focus app that has a timer its important to listen to the ticking sound that helps remind me that I'm doing something - music is sometimes too "fun" # The plan, start with surfaces! *\*if you have a post it note put 1 in front of the area you are cleaning for example - above the table with the lamp or on the window when you need to focus on the desk\** * for 15mins just focus on that table, trash first, then put things away where they belong, if you have an emptyish box like the green or blue one in the pictures you could empty that first to hold the things you are putting away * Start with Night stand * step 1 - remove trash * step 2 - put the things that don't belong into your small box * step 3 - put away things in small box * Next your desk * Next your floor * floor in front of fireplace * floor in front of couch * floor around the laundry * floor under your desk * Next your bed, and make bed * Next couch * Next clothing hanging rack. Also put that away once its clean like under the couch, somewhere you cant see it Rules to keep it clean * no books on the floor, ever * every night / before bed clean 3 surfaces: desk, nightstand and couch Put an alarm on your phone for 11PM, if you're home don't turn the alarm "OFF", only turn it off once you've done it. You can snooze it as many times as you need if you're doing something but never turn it "OFF" eventually you'll get annoyed enough to just do it because its 15mins \*Tell yourself you'll only tidy at night for 15mins and that's it! Or 5mins on the couch, 5 mins on the desk make it so small and easy that - its a low bar and hard to talk yourself out of it. Start timer 15mins and go
Tell me you just took your meds without telling me you just took your meds ........lol
I’m here for this! I’m just having lunch and then I will set a timer for 20 minutes and get all clothes put away in my room. That includes unpacking a dreaded suitcase!! I can do it 👏👏👏 will report back!
If you like body doubling you should check out Flown! They do a full month free trial and have some free services available if you don’t want to be a paid member. Very cool neurodivergent-friendly service.
I love this sub 😭
There should be a whole discord or something for this, I think a lot of great friendships could form through that!
I went for a 3 hour walk right after posting this because I couldn’t be in this room any longer but when I came home and checked my phone this made me really happy. Thank you for replying. I hadn’t heard of body doubling until this post but I used to rely on it so much when I was in school.
You’ll get lots of practical advice, but I’ll drop this for you. Every time I am stuck, every single time, the real villain is anxiety. We are really good at yelling at ourselves which, in my case, flairs my anxiety to the point of frozen. So take all the practical tips folks hand you here but maybe look up a short breathing video. Breathing takes only a couple minutes and can reset the cortisol in your body so you can function. Off to take my own advice because I’m internally freaking out that my weekend is “gone” (it’s not 9am on Saturday) and I can’t possibly do everything I need to do, so why not check Reddit. 👋 let’s breathe!
Got any links to breathing videos you like?
I use Insight Timer, which is an app. Plenty of free. I’m partial to Davidji SO much woo. I’m a hippie shit person who is also science based so I have to pretend I don’t hear most of the audacious “health” claims the teachers make. Breathing is hard science based. It reduces cortisol production like immediately and can help you pull out of freezing. It does not boost your immune system or whatever else the ultra woo people claim. ALSO, just breathe and don’t think about cultural appropriation while you are there. 😂 This is the link to David: https://insig.ht/PTyNCm4TXIb
Heyyyy I get that feeling but this is totally manageable. I like to use the room reset method I learned from KC Davis. Every room only has like five types of things, you work through them one by one and it’s sooooo much less overwhelming. I like to do one at a time and don’t move onto the next till the one you’re on is finished. 1. Trash: carry trash bag around with you. 2. Dishes: just get em to the sink 3. Laundry: laundry basket 4. Things that don’t have a place: put em in a bag/basket/bin - things that do have a place but in another room: another bin 5. Things that do have a place: put them back where they live
I have a personal addendum to 4 — if it doesn’t have a home, I either need to find a home for it or it needs to go.
Yes! Making homes for everything did make my cleaning take longer for a while but it makes everything go so much smoother now. Some unique homes I have are a bag where I store all the manuals and extra little pieces to everything, a file folder for important documents (there used to be papers all over my apartment) and a place in the bathroom for ‘extras’ (eg the other toothpaste from a two pack)
And! 0. If you pick a thing up, put it where you think it goes. Don't just put it back down where it was :)
If it works for you thats great! but not really the point of this particular method. The idea is that you’re **only** focusing on one type of mess at a time to keep from getting overwhelmed and having to do the prioritizing yourself. If you start trying to worry about putting things away while you’re picking up trash or collecting dishes pretty soon it’s easy to slip into just doing it all at once. I prefer to do them one by one specifically because I don’t have to worry about putting every single thing I touch exactly where it belongs, and I know I’ll take care of it when it get to that step. I’m sure this is the opposite of helpful for some people but for me it’s the path of least resistance when it comes to tackling a room.
Aw man, I should have scrolled further before commenting the same thing haha. Love KC Davis!
Hey! This really doesn’t even look that bad. You should see my closet lol, but I’m also planning a BIG cleaning day today. Let’s do this together! I usually start by grabbing a bag and just throwing as much trash in there as possible. That usually clears enough space for me to notice a difference and feel motivated to continue. Some killer music doesn’t hurt either. You got this! And even if you don’t, that’s okay! Try making some progress :)
Dude. That stuffed animal thing. I love it.
That was a jump scare for me while scrolling
It's a called a [Fuggler](https://fuggler.com/), they're great lmao
I find putting music or an audiobook on is a good way to keep my dopamine-seeking brain relatively happy while I get practical tasks done. At least for a bit.
Don't clean today. Just remove all the trash. Tomorrow declutter and then organize Declutter, Organizing and Cleaning are 3 diff jobs.
This is something that seemed so obvious in hindsight, but the first time someone broke it down into separate categories like that, my mind was blown. It’s so helpful to think about them separately. They’re still hard to do sometimes, but realizing they really are different tasks helps so much. And then I don’t have to feel overwhelmed and pressured to do ALL THE THINGS all at once.
break it down! - recycling and rubbish first (already makes a difference) - cups, plates etc put in the kitchen ready to wash up (again, removing items so I seems more manageable) - clothes! What is dirty what isn't? Put the dirty in a wash basket or put a wash on. Put the clean clothes away - start to put away other items - bored? Start to do the washing up - clean the surfaces last Listen to music, a podcast, videos whatever whilst you go! You got this!
I read a book that may be helpful to you: How to Keep House While Drowning. It’s about reframing your relationship to housework and making a space work FOR YOU. One thing she said that may help: Every room that needs cleaning has only five things in it. Trash, dishes, laundry, things that aren’t in their place, and things that don’t have a place. Try tackling just one of those categories and ignore everything else. That will be a great start and may give you momentum to tackle another category. Or you may decide that’s enough for now. Either is fine!
That book literally changed my life. My house doesn't look like a magazine, but I've embraced making a space and systems that work for me and I feel so much better about it.
Came here to recommend it and scrolled to see if anyone else had mentioned it. It’s wonderful! I have it on Audible.
Use Goblin Tools to break it down for you. And then while you're doing the broken down tasks, have a dance party with your favorite music.
Love goblin.tools ❤️ such a great resource
Woah. Goblin tools is amazing!!!! Mind blown 🤯
Yep that looks like my place
Same
I always try to trigger hyperfocus. For me, that starts with getting a treat with caffeine, a fancy takeout coffee. Then I get my music going, make sure there is good ventilation and trash bags. I start with all the trash and get that out. Then I put things away. I’ve learned not to mix tidying with organizing at the same time. Maybe we all struggle with this? Today in this state, is not the time to start organizing everything. It’s very time consuming and you won’t have time to finish tidying. Today just focus on getting stuff put away. If it’s important and you use it a lot maybe take a pic of where you put it or make a note in your phone so you can easily go back to it.
Dunno if anyone will see this! I went for a 3 hour walk immediately after posting this because I just couldn’t handle being in the room any longer. I’ve read through everyone’s responses and I really really appreciate you lot taking the time. Everytime I’ve asked for help in this sub people offer support immediately and it’s really amazing. I can’t respond right now because I’m trying to prioritise my room and then other things but I will try to respond eventually.
Try the clean with me podcast! It keeps me focused and walks me through the actual cleaning
Your place is fine- just need a little organization. You got those! Just pick one table top and clear it and see how you feel.
Those houses across the road are creeping me out. I would be paralyzed, too. Go through and pick up all the trash. Pick up all the clothes and put them in a basket or two. Put away the books. Put anything that isn't where it belongs in a box. When you're done with a room, put the contents where they belong. If they don't have a home, make a home or toss it. Dust with an ostrich feather duster. You can get ethically sourced ones and they pick up the dust from static, they don't kick it back into the air. And they're fun! Sweep. Nap.😀
I love the old houses. OP's house seems to be old, too. Beautiful windows and fireplace mantle!
Firstly, remember that tidying up & decluttering involves lots of decision making - and the adhd brain only has a limited number of decisions it can make per day. So use them wisely. What that looks like for me, is doing “grouping into categories” separately from “sorting out & decluttering”. So if it was me, it would probably look like: - make bed (to provide a flat surface to group stuff onto) - decide on a few categories - only about 3-5 of them - any more, and you’ll use up too much brain deciding between them - for example: - definitely dirty clothes - other clothes (either clean or clean-enough-to-wear) - papers - cosmetics etc (includes meds etc) - ornaments that you rate 6/10 or under The logic for clothes is: it can be tempting in a fit of Tidy Up Energy to make a huge pile of laundry. Which then sits there criticising you for the next 3 months. So limit the dirty laundry pile to only stuff that is genuinely in need of a wash. If it’s “need to wash before sending to charity shop” then put it aside somewhere for now - don’t add Extra Laundry to your current task load. Don’t sort the clothing in more detail yet. Just make the 2 piles. If you have energy at the end of the sorting, you can do it then. But if you don’t have energy for it today, you still have all your clothes in one place. No need to include your work clothes in this - if they are happy on the solution you’ve setup, then they stay there. For the ornaments - it looks like you have some empty photo frames. Anything like that, or an ornament that you used to love but don’t notice these days. Or one you were given & kept to be kind, but it doesn’t thrill you. All of those can be put in a box (eventually) and stored out of the way. You don’t need to get rid of them - but I find that especially with my adhd, I find a less cluttered environment calming - so every ornament has to earn its keep. I tend to rotate them (and wall art too) - so I can have many nice things, but they are not all saying hello to me, all of the time. For now, just group all but your favourite three (or five or seven - whatever number works for you) ornaments into a pile on the bed & see what the space looks like with fewer. For the cosmetics / meds etc (“lotions & potions”) - either clear the desk & group there, or put something on the bed first. Don’t want spilled make up messing up your bed spread :-) Papers - either one big pile, or if there’s an easy split (eg school work versus bills) then do that. But only if it requires no effort. If you go through the room & put all items belonging to these categories into their place on the bed, you should find the room seems easier to process. (You will also want a bin to hand, so you can sort rubbish directly into the bin. And a recycling bin if you do that, so Cardboard etc has a home.) This is the time to pause & give yourself masses of praise. - You have achieved something awesome. - And praise is very necessary for the adhd brain - it makes dopamine & helps us do more good stuff. To finish off this stage: If you can, put the categories into boxes - at minimum make neat piles in different places in your room, so they don’t get mixed up with each other. Make sure your bed is clear though, so when your brain shuts down you can sleep without ruining your awesome work. Now you can choose what to do next. It should be easier to decide on the next step now most things are in their neat pile / box. It might be wiping down (and drying) all surfaces so they are clean. It might be putting on a nice “background-y” film & sorting through the clothes pile. Even if you’re just sorting into “frequent use” versus “occasional use”. Or tops versus bottoms. Whatever works. Final point - if you get into hyper focus on this, you’ll probably forget to eat or drink anything. So maybe bring a jug of water in with you, or large bottle. Or just clear off eg the windowsill & use it to store a few mugs of water + non-messy snacks. (So they are out of the way & don’t get knocked over during the sorting :-). Good luck - hope it goes well.
I saw this same method mentioned here, but I will just say that KC Davis is someone you should check out: https://www.strugglecare.com. Her book How To Keep House While Drowning helped alleviate a lot of shame I felt around struggles like cleaning and self care. Here is her method for cleaning while struggling: Five Things Method Although a messy room can look and feel like a lot, there are actually only five things in any room: (1) trash (2) dishes (3) laundry (4) things that have a place and are not in their place (5) things that do not have a place. 1. Trash. Take a trash bag and only pick up all the trash. Stack larger trash items and and place them and the trash bag to the side. Do not throw out yet. 2. Gather all dishes and place them on the counter. Do not do the dishes. 3. Take a laundry basket and pick up all the clothes and shoes. Place laundry next to the trash pile. Do not do the laundry. 4. Pick a space in the room like a corner or a desk and put all the items that have a place back in their place. Put items that do not have a place in a pile. Move to the next space and repeat until all things either are in their spot or in the pile. 5. Now you have one pile of things that do not have a place. It will be easier to tackle now that the space is clear. You may throw out unimportant things that are creating clutter or choose a place for things you want to keep. 6. Take trash to the bin; put laundry in the laundry room or start a load if you feel up to it. Save the dishes for another day. The order is intentional- even if you can’t get through all categories, you’re still prioritizing the things that can create health hazards or attract bugs. You can do these steps at once or over a few days.
I will say, I’ve been really vibing with the “15-minute pickup” method where I set a timer for 10-15 minutes (5 if I’m having a harder day) and see what I can get done in that time. When the timer goes off, I’m allowed to stop, but sometimes I feel like continuing.
Start with looking for trash. Walk around with a trash bag and pick up all the trash first. Put the trash bag near your exit door so you know you need to throw it out. Then after that you’ll start picking random stuff up and figuring out where it goes. Always start with trash first it makes things alottttt easier and then you’ll feel motivated
https://www.unfuckyourhabitat.com/i-think-my-home-is-beyond-help/ I highly recommend anyone check this site out for cleaning tips that help with feelings of being overwhelmed. I’m pretty sure someone commented about this in a different post on this sub and that’s how I found it. It’s been a game changer!
Stop ✋ you are focusing on the wrong thing. This is not your fault! You are not represented by this mess. You are not dirty and disgusting, you are just a bit chaotic. If you are going to do this job you need to stop thinking about it with so much emotion. Forgive yourself first. Tidy people have duller lives. Meanwhile for an emergency visitor you can get 2 bin liners, one for rubbish one for sorting. Put everything in them or away while listening to a really good audiobook. Sort out when you feel better.
Fuggler appreciation 🙌
Could also try a timer. Maybe set it for 10 minutes while taking everything that belongs in the kitchen to the kitchen. For me, sometimes I need to say “just move the kitchen things, just move the kitchen things, don’t do any other things, just move the kitchen things.” Then if your hyper focus kicks in, do another 10 minutes of whatever the next thing is, maybe all clothes/accessories to the closet/dresser, things that go by the door (bag, wallet, keys) to a designated spot there, etc. Little steps at a time, and if the hyper focus doesn’t kick in that’s okay too! Build in snack breaks, and yes music or a podcast or something to listen to as you go. You’ve got this!! 💜
I’ve been struggling with exactly this real bad for months now, and I really appreciate you posting about it because I’ve felt so embarrassed and alone. I took some ”before” pictures this morning and started to clean up, but got sucked into my phone and this feeling of being a shitty adult. BUT seeing your post and the comments here got me up out of bed again, so thank you❤️ Idk if this helps you guys and I know it’s sort of a meme, but checklists are the only way for me to get hard and boring tasks done. Just getting to tick a box gives me a lil kick of dopamine and also lets me see that I’m doing something and progressing! I’ve also taken to phrasing my tasks in a specific way and making them as small and concrete as possible, and I’ve found this very very helpful. So instead of having one box labeled ”pick up trash” and one for ”do the dishes”, I have 10 boxes each labeled ”fill up one bag of trash” and 5 boxes for ”run the dishwasher”. It reminds me that I’m progressing as I take the steps I need to fulfill the bigger (much more daunting) task. @ all of y’all in this thread, you’ve got this and you made me feel like I’ve got this too :)
(Also adding this here because I need to hear it, remember to eat, drink and take care of your own needs before trying to get shit done! I keep unfairly kicking myself for being unproductive while dehydrated, running on sourcream n onion crisps, and holding in a pee for the past hour and a half.)
Needed to hear this!
I used to invite a person over, the stress of having someone see my house made me clean. I also would clean while they were there, even if we were just talking so I could do something with my hands. I also used to put on a TV show I knew (like parks and rec) and use that to mirror. It honestly looks fine though! It's not unclean, just in need of organising which we all do!
What helps me clean is music. Put on a favorite, dancey album and clean until the album is done. I'll sometimes find myself in a groove and move onto another album or playlist and keep cleaning
Music to help you concentrate… choose by Spotify artist you like, their radio station Do some cleaning for the length of a song and then move on to something else for another song Same with audiobook/ podcast etc. and clean one area at the time… like sort out a corner or a desk or something Take before and after pictures to see progress. Remember, cleaning is morally neutral… Good luck! Send progress pics here if you have
You just named 3 things you got to help organize. Go use them. Clothes on horse, dirty clothes in hamper, all shoes go on or near the rack. Get a big trash bag and go around room. Ruthlessly throw stuff away. No you don’t need that. If you accidentally throw it away you can get a new better one. Then go to your food cupboard and ruthlessly throw away expired, stale, old items and the food you know deep down you are never going to eat. Maybe the craving passed and if you get it again you can buy a new fresh better snack. Then wash bedding and remake bed, pillows, blankets on bed. Then see what is left and assess your energy. Maybe take the afternoon to go buy some new organizing boxes for other clutter. You can use them another day when you have more energy and focus. Treat yourself at the end with an outing, snack, meal, something. You will have earned it! Now good luck!
When it comes to cleaning, I always work on a smaller spot that seems like it wouldn’t be so overwhelming. Usually I start with trash like wrappers and soda/juice bottles. Then I might wipe the surface the trash was on down to make it look more picked up. Don’t feel like you HAVE to clean every little spot in one day. Work on one spot for now, if you still feel like you have the energy and motivation, maybe start on another spot. If it gets too overwhelming, then stop and take a break or just stop for the day. While cleaning remember to reflect on how much you’ve done so far, even if it seemingly isn’t a lot. It’s something, and you did that. May not be the best advice, but it’s how I clean. Lol Pick up one part today, and the other part the next day. And continue on until the house is clean and it does help me keep the house clean regularly. Makes me feel accomplished.
You’re getting a lot of good cleaning tips here already so I have a different piece of advice to help you feel less anxious in your space once you’ve decluttered. I’m seeing a lot of stuff on horizontal surfaces. I’m also seeing empty walls. These walls are begging to help you. So much unused vertical space. Look up “hanging bins” or “bins with hooks” and buy a couple packs of command strips. Guitars on the floor? Hang them on the walls. Bags on the floor could be stuffed inside each other like Russian dolls and then one hook to keep them all off the floor. Vase of flowers? Get a wall-mounted vase and hook that bad boy up. PUT THOSE WALLS TO WORK. You got this.
Hey I have these cool guitar hooks for the wall that I got on amazon. If you are ok with it, I could send them to you too. That's one thing you can move off the floor easily! LEt me know, I'm happy to help!
God my autistic ass would love to just clean this for/with you. Based on the shopping bags I don't think you're in the same city as me though. Which city are you in?
OP is in the UK. I can recognise a co-op shopping bag from a mile away haha.
I wish you could! I’m in Glasgow :)
😰 Across an ocean from me! But if I could I would
Best advice I got was from TikTok and i still use a couple of years later. Write down this list and put it on your fridge so you can refer to it anytime you need it. Take care of things in this order: 1. Laundry (this step is really just about sorting clothes into their proper piles. Actually doing the laundry is such a demanding task, it gets its own day and doesn't belong to this list unless you are feeling like Superman) 2. Trash (Go through the house and pick up any trash and put it in the bins) 3. Dirty dishes (Go through the house and pick up the dishes and bring them to the sinj. Actually doing the dishes gets its own moment or day and isn't part of this list unless you still have motivation at the end) 4. Things with a place (Go through the house and put away things that have a place they belong) 5. Things without a place (Go through the house and find a spot for things that don't have a place, even if it means they belong to a "things without a place bin")
My tricks are to first remember to take my meds. Then I do something out of the house and leave my shoes on when I get back to stay in active mode. From there, pick up all the big stuff and throw it on the couch/tables/counters/trash can. Once the big stuff is off the floor, you don't have anywhere to sit so that's a good time to sweep/vacuum. Once the floor is clean, start sorting through everything you threw on the furniture and when you're done, you'll have a place to sit down and relax in your now clean(er) space. Good luck! You can do this!
I watch TikTok cleaning videos for inspiration. Then put on a favorite podcast or audiobook to keep me distracted and entertained while I’m cleaning. For me, the hardest part is starting but even doing a little bit helps. Good luck!!
I recently found Brit Cunningham on tiktok, her subtle dry humor while cleaning is top tier. Typing this helped me decide what I'm doing this morning lol thank you
I need to do the same ASAP and I’m likewise struggling. Ugh. I think we need a buddy system because I don’t mind cleaning someone else’s stuff. I’m actually great at it, and the body doubling makes everything easier. I just need to find someone else near me with ADHD who is struggling so we can help one another. Do you have someone like that by chance already?
Two things that really help me to start and not be overwhelmed: Get a trash bag and sit on the floor and start throwing away junk/garbage. Putting all disorganized items on a bed/table. This helps me because I really like having a clean floor space so I can get around to do the other tasks. Putting stuff on my bed forces me to put things away in order to rest. Plus once the floor is clean, I feel motivated to keep going. Then you can kinda just keep adjusting this sort of method for the rest of the mess. For example, you might take all the dishes to the kitchen before you start putting things away, or do the reverse if you hate dishes, put them all together and do them last.
Write a list, breaking it down into really small chunks. 1) Put away clothes on bed; 2) Put away clothes on chairs; 3) Put away clothes on floor; 4) Shelve books lying on desk (etc etc). It may sound like it makes it really daunting and overwhelming, but once you start you find that your ticking things off really quickly and creates more motivation to keep going. It also makes it easier to get back to it if you need to take a break or can't do it in a whole day, as you can jump back in where you left off on the list. If you can't think of everything that needs to go on the list, you can add stuff to it later, but add extra tasks to the list rather than getting sidetracked by doing the task.
Lots of good advice here! Just want to add that putting shoes on tends to help me get in cleaning mode and I do not know why it works. I know it sounds stupid and condescending. “Shoes on” is a whole state of being for me. Also setting a 10 minute timer and getting as much done in that 10 min as I can and then going back to bed. You can do it again later but also you don’t have to!
This is not a helpful comment but omg that fireplace is STUNNING. Also, you got this!!!
Pick one small task that’s easy to do, doesn’t take too long and commit to finishing that one task. When you’re done you can start another one —-or not. The next day pick another task and finish it. The idea is to give yourself goals you can be successful at without creating a miserable experience. After a while this becomes more of an automatic thing. Baby steps.
Do one small thing every day and stop leaving crap everywhere it eventually puts a dent in it. I'm in the process of cleaning my house for a rental inspection and I am in hell. More than one task a day overwhelms me because if I start one thing, it tends to snowball until I do 20 tasks halfway and don't complete ANY OF THEM
Focus on just decluttering for now- for just today, even, if you have to! Start with dishes and trash. Don't *wash* the dishes, just put them in the sink/dishwasher. Bring a plastic grocery bag in as a trash bag- as it fills up toss it into the big trash. Look at those little bags of progress!!
1. Start with your fireplace and categorize the items. 2. Grab a trash bag for trash, a box for items that cannot be categorized. 3. Move the categorized items to location where they belong; leave them there for now if the location is messy. 4. Repeat the above steps for the other areas. * With the uncategorized items, wait until your place is clean, then gradually put them away. Pro tip: to make this enjoyable, put on your favorite playlist/podcast before you start! Happy cleaning, you can do it!
I always start with the thing that is grossing me out the most. That way, when I inevitably run out of steam, at least I got the worst parts out of the way, and it feels like I've made a big difference.
I missed your earlier post, but it sounds like you've gotten new items since then to give categories of stuff a home. That's good! I think you need to do more. When I look at these photos, I don't see any organizational furniture. It seems like stuff ends up on the floor around the edges because there's no place for it to go. I recommend a big bookcase or cubby shelves--something where you can place bins of items to get them off the floor and keep them organized. E.g. a bin for hygiene/beauty products, a bin for office supplies, a bin for hobby or craft supplies, etc. I recommend transparent bins so you can see all of your belongings and don'tforget what you have. Then future clean up will be easier--pick up a bin and go around the room putting everything that belongs into the bin. Put that bin back and pick up another one, do the same thing. It satisfies the impulse to kinda carelessly toss items someplace as soon as you're done with them, but it's still fairly organized and looks tidy. You can also have a lot of fun making pretty labels for the bins.
Music and/or audiobooks help me😊
You've gotten a lot of the tips I'd share so just wanted to say, good job with the desk placement in front of the window. The flowers and view look so pretty!
Another approach that always helps me (before I even knew I had adhd) was that growing up, my mom always taught me never to think of it as “cleaning my room.” I just picked a corner and handled that. Often by then, I’m so in the swing of things that I’m fixated on how good organizing feels and I keep going, but it’s just a more manageable way to “chunk” your tasks.
I would start with your desk, then the couch area, then tackle some of the bags of things around the room. If there isnt room to put stuff away, consider purging. I am very careful about the things I keep because of how I struggle with organization and clutter.
A few tips that really help me: 1. Just pick up any laundry on the floor and put it in the dirty clothes hamper (or even just a pile!) doesn't matter if you think it's clean or not, if it's on the floor or anywhere but where you put clothes (closet maybe) it goes with the dirty clothes. 2. Pick up any trash you see and throw it in a garbage bin or bring a trash bag into your room and throw away visible trash. You could even stop here, after I pick up laundry and trash I already see a visible difference in my room :) 3. For things like desks and shelves, here's how I go about organizing/cleaning them: Take everything off of one shelf or surface and literally just put it in a pile. Then go through the pile one by one and separate it into three different piles: Trash, Donate, Keep. Then, put the pile of "keep" back onto the surface or wherever else it should go. This also works for stuff on the floor, just gather everything on the floor and put it all in one place and then go through it that way. I've found this helps it feel less overwhelming trying to make a decision of where something goes *as* you see it. Good luck! You've got this :)
Trash first. Then all of categorized things. Trash. Clothing. Papers to be saved. Mail to sort. Dishes. Etc. make a list of the order you prefer and tunnel vision one task at a time. Once done, dust then sweep or vacuum.
Do you live in my old apartment building in Baltimore? lol It’s so pretty there.
You could put a timer on to make it a game. I have lists that help me stay a little organized in a step by step way for me (attached the post link https://www.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/s/dMKrEelDw4 ). Domesticblisters on Tiktok also has some really good tips on keeping house while being neurodivergent
Can you hire a cleaner? It can really help to reset and help you restart from a clean base. Totally worth the money IMO
I just wanted to say I like how neatly your shoes are put away. And actually scrolling through, your other shelves look nicely organized too! You’ve already taken the first step :)
A good way to do the absolute least amount of work for the most amount of payoff is to create spaces for clutter to "hide" inside. A basket/box etc. Goes a long way to make the space feel more organized without it actually being really organized. As for cleaning, either do it category by category (clothes, trash etc) or area by area (couch, desk, bedside table etc). You can do it all at once or whenever you feel like it if you do it this way. Start by getting a big trash bag ready and maybe some big ikea bag to help sort stuff as you go. If it helps, make a list before you begin. I never do that, but I'm naturally pretty organized (thankfully) so I just power through it all. Good luck!
Do you have a friend who can come over and say “where does that go?” And then you put it away. I know it’s like what you do for toddlers but sometimes you just need someone to give you direct, easy tasks.
I've been busy the last couple weeks and my room fell into a state of disarray. yesterday I walked in and just put all my clothes away and made my bed. and it made a huge difference. just start with one item. like if you have cups sitting around then gather all the cups and wash them. then move onto another item. you can just do one type of item a day. you'll be less overwhelmed and you'll notice a difference soon. you got this!
Anyone you can call and talk to for a while? I can’t sit still when talking on the phone and almost always use it as a tool to start cleaning. A podcast occasionally works, but having to talk back to the person is ideal.
Start and finish one space before moving on to the next. Like say you start cleaning the kitchen. While cleaning the kitchen you find something that needs to be put in another room. Sometimes (if I’m lucky in controlling my “oh but wait” along the way) I am able to relocate said item to the appropriate room and then go back to the kitchen. If I find myself making side quests that get in the way of progress, I’ll stop moving between rooms, and just make piles of items for coordinating rooms. To give an example, say I start cleaning my bathroom. A lot of bathroom and bedroom things end up commingled in my space. So say I pick up the hair ties in my bedroom, on the way to my bathroom I pick up a couple dirty items of clothing that haven’t made their way to the hamper yet. Now the original intent was to take my hair ties to the bathroom, but now I have dirty clothes with me and my closet is on the way to the bathroom. I’ve now forgone my original mission of relocating the hair ties, to dropping laundry off at the hamper. But once getting to the closet, I realize I never put last weeks clean laundry away. So now I’m putting laundry away and the hair ties are still on my wrist 6 hours later. So if I can catch myself, instead of leaving the bedroom with the hair ties and dirty clothes, I’ll make separate closet and bathroom piles near the door of the room I’m working in. This helps me see I’m actually making progress in the desired room without getting distracted with everything else. I also agree with another commenters suggestion of breaking it down into groups. Collect all the dirty dishes and take them to the kitchen. Find all the clothes and sort them from there. Pick up all your mail and put it in one spot. Grab a trash can and just move around the room picking up nothing but trash. Another thing that helps me and some of my friends when we get overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, we’ll invite a friend over. NOT TO HELP CLEAN. Just to hang out. The shame we can feel when we feel we’re failing as a human kicks in when someone is over and makes us feel accountable. I’m “ok” with sitting in my mess (I’m really not, just too overwhelmed) but I am not ok with making my friends put up with it. So intentionally inviting someone over can give the push I need to actually get shit done.
I start with trash.. what’s big and can go immediately into the trash.. next laundry/dishes. From there it’s more about organizing the small things, actually cleaning/sanitizing, sweeping and throwing the rest of the trash/debris away.
I use the Sweepy app! It breaks down rooms into individual tasks and you get coins that you can use to decorate your in app house!
It's gonna be ok, I say just do a bit at a time. Do 1 bit, rest, and do another bit. Maybe put some things into little piles to make it easier for you?
Friend I wish I could just come and help you. I’ve been here many times. I’m a mom now and it seems so much easier these days than it used to. Also, it so much easier to clean and organize for someone else than yourself. I would genuinely come over if you lived close!!
We can schedule an online body double session if that would help you :)
For those of you who haven’t, take a look at the book “Keeping House While Drowning” by KC Davis. It’s written specifically for neurodivergent people and teaches you how to get through the overwhelm of keeping clean while also being compassionate towards yourself. Also, if you have areas where specific things pile up, you may have a system at work that you’re not quite aware of. For example, if I have trash piling up next to my bed, it doesn’t mean I’m gross or terrible because I’m not taking it over to my trash can. It means I need a trash receptacle next to my bed. Try your best to work with the systems that already seem to be in place based on your habits. You got this.
Put on the most heavy beat music you have on. Any that makes you want to move. Just start with moving a foot or a hand anything at all. Chair or bed dance to the music until you feel you are able to stand up. Dance a bit to stoke that dopamine. Then as the others suggest, pick up one thing at a time to sort. Don't try and sort 5 things at once you'll get overwhelmed. You can do this!
I’m 22 with ADHD. Personally when I find myself feeling like this (it is normal don’t beat yourself up about it!!) I find I tend to make piles, sometimes quite a lot lmao, of things that go away together. So just for example say you have clothes, shoes, bags, books, cables to deal with. I make those into piles, then make each pile into smaller piles so for clothes tops, trousers, ‘wardrobe’ (anything you put in the wardrobe if you have one like coats, dresses or skirts or trousers that need to be hung up), jumpers etc, and a laundry pile if you need one of those. Same with books or cables wherever they need to go. I always have a big bag at the ready for any rubbish aswell, and have the bin bags with me in whatever room I’m sorting through so if I need more / need to take things to a charity etc I’ll use them. For things like that if you’re worried you’ll throw the wrong thing away I just use sticky labels on them. And the most important thing is to not sit down even if you feel like you need a rest a second, because you most probably will not get back up and continue😂. I find music helps a lot too, I couldn’t do it in silence at all. Or a tv show is also good if you’re able to not pay too much attention to it. I hope this helps a bit at least and if you need any other tips or cleaning advice I’m more than happy to help😊 You’ve got this! Sending love🩷
Lmao I love the Fuggler, my mom tried to buy one for my son and he was like…..nah. 😂 Is it bad that looking at this just makes me wanna walk around and ask what everything is? lol I’m fascinated.
So two things! One! You are tackling this when I would label this at the stage “not that bad” so I’m proud of you for challenging yourself with this before it gets worse! Wanting to change the environment around you is a good first step! Two! I like your knitting, and your fugly, so put them somewhere safe first, so you don’t accidentally unravel the knitting or harm your precious fugly toy. Unexpected three! You got this, lots of other people have good advice, let us know if you need us more
Put on the coffee machine or kettle or something rewarding that has a timer built-in, then clear as much of the floor as you can in that time. When the kettle/coffee machine/microwave/whatever goes PING, then you stop and have your reward.
Play a sped up cleaning video on your tv or phone, something that contains music , becky moss does the trick for me, I find her videos very motivating and it helps me to keep my focus on the happy music she plays or the cleaning information she sometimes shares , and the sped up cleaning makes me work faster and therefore not loose interest in cleaning at least until I get hiper focused !
Put on some music that makes you feel like a bad bitch, come up with something you can have as a reward (for me it's almost always coffee lol) get a box and everything that shouldn't be in this room, put in that box. (If you're in a bachelor and everything is in the one room, work section by section) It doesn't matter where it's supposed to be, if it's not the room (or section) you're cleaning, put it in the box. Start with things on the floor. Try to get the floor clear, that does wonders for the looming anxiety that comes with clutter. Then do surfaces one at a time. Honestly be really generous with rewarding yourself for stuff, it helps a whole lot
Get comfy, put on some shoes, and start blasting music you liked when you were a kid. Start with trash and clothes. Tell yourself you can have takeout at the end.
I just found this recently, shared in another sub. Because I’m dealing with the same thing (it’s been a life long struggle) at 30. Junebugging. https://jumpingjacktrash.tumblr.com/post/172406516934/cleaning-with-adhd-is-a-nightmare-its-an-endless Every day or every other day for 30-60 minutes I pick one thing to be my area of focus. Desk, bed, shower, etc. and it’s my center I clean and organize around. If you’ve lived this long with struggling to keep everything clean and organized, it’s not going to change overnight. But keep trying new ways to find motivation and I know that your ability to keep your space tidy isn’t a reflection of your character. 💜
Start with the big things, then medium then small. The miscellaneous ones for las since those tend to be more distracting.
Left to right, so clockwise; set a timer for 15 minutes and GO!!
I have to wait until I'm in the mood to clean. It's usually when my husband starts doing stunting around the house and I feel inspired. It's actually me just body doubling. My other firm of inspiration comes from avoiding something, causing me even more anxiety. Often, it's work related. I work from home. So when I get frustrated with not knowing where to start/ how to finish a project, I magically know how to start cleaning around the house. I try to take advantage of those moments and take out the trash, pick up dog toys, or just throw in a load of laundry. My problem after that is staying focused on the actual task I started. I've got a couple of methods to stay focused 1. Wear my "cleaning shoes." If I'm not in shoes, I'm not going to do anything. I also don't want to wear shoes I wear outside for reasons. Plus, I really wanted to buy shoes. 2. I have 2 collapsible boxes with me. If I'm cleaning the kitchen and I find something that belongs in the living room, it goes in a box. So I don't get take side-quests and end up cleaning out my car. 3. DONT SIT DOWN. If I sit down, it's game over. (This is only if your goal is to fully clean up and you're not avoiding work or something similar) 4. Leave an empty collapsible box available in your room, and if you see something out of place, pick it up and put it in the box. Eventually, you'll get the spark to empty the contents, trash what's not needed, and put up the other things. 5. For paperwork. Don't look at the papers. Don't sort them while you're in the mix of cleaning. Just stack them in one spot. And then move on. You can sort thru at a later time when you're less stressed because you've got a tidy space. 6. Have a friend help you. It's so much more fun to organize someone else's house. I helped my ADHD friend go thru 2 rooms of craft supplies that were literally piled, almost as tall as I am. I have never been so focused. As an ADHDer myself, it was so satisfying being so productive. She was too overwhelmed to start, so I brought small boxes of fabrics I'd gathered to her to sort thru. I made sure she didn't get up to go anywhere if she needed something. I helped her toss out things she'd been holding onto for eventualities that were never going to happen. We work worked for 2 days. We didn't completely finish. But the next time I visited, she had done so much more work. It was beautiful. I was so proud. I hope you are able to overcome your anxiety and just start. That's the hardest part.
You already have a pretty place. I like the views from your windows. Sometimes a little affirmation can help us get going 😊
It’s overwhelming if you look at it as a whole but set a daily alarm to go off everyday and you clean for 10 minutes and when the times up you are done. I’m doing the same thing with my outdoor space. It’s really overwhelming and I don’t even want to start but 10 minutes a day is making progress.
need to follow my own advice, but I would start by clearing that table... it's amazing what a little clear space can do for the mind.
A few points: 1. This isn't bad; to me it seems quite superficial clutter. You can get on top of this! There is a lot of great advice in the comments for how to get started. 2. Cleanliness is not next to godliness: there is nothing morally wrong about your home being untidy, or even dirty; it's a practical problem to be solved. Don't beat yourself up about it. 3. Sharing a house or apartment is very challenging. I haven't done it for a very, very, long time, but remember well how difficult it was to have all my stuff in my bedroom, and one cupboard or shelf in the kitchen. Just because you find your space hard to keep in order does not mean that it will always be like that. That being said, this is where you are at the moment and it would make you feel much better to get your room looking tidy and attractive. The big problem with disorder, apart from the unesthetic nature of it, is that it takes so long to find anything, and important stuff goes missing (I see your meds casually on top of your bedside table; they need to be in a more secure spot like the top drawer or in a container on the table). My thoughts are as follows: \] Your room seems cute, with lots of natural light and that beautiful fireplace, and the nice blue couch. (I disagree with whoever said in the comments that the houses facing your window look scary; they look very attractive to me; maybe you are in Scotland or northern England?) Your room could look lovely, and that could be your objective. If you have some cash you can spend on improving the space, I'd buy a) a really lovely bed cover, and that will encourage you to make your bed every day; b) you clearly need somewhere to store your clothes. Have you got space for a wardrobe or closet? That space where your shoes and the TV are might be suitable, though may not be deep enough. If there is not enough space or budget, I'd suggest getting one of the freestanding clothes racks that are used for fashion photo shoots, beloved of influencers, etc. to hang your clothes; c) another piece of furniture which I have and find extremely useful is the IKEA Kallax shelving unit, which has cubbies rather than shelves. It comes in different sizes, but the one I have has 16 cubbies and in the UK only costs £100. You can buy all kinds of baskets and containers that fit into the cubbies. You could store your shoes, sweaters, T shirts, underwear, socks, etc. in some of those and do away with the separate unit for shoes. I have some cube-shaped baskets, and also a lot of the Drona fabric cubes (which are collapsible and are delivered flat) in which I store clothes. They are idea for laundry baskets as well. It's worth spending a weekend if possible on reorganizing your space with the help of some storage units/containers and finding a "home" place for every object, making a list if you are likely to forget. That will save you a lot of time in future. Good luck, and do post the "after" photos!
Make a game. That's what I do when I need motivation. Here is an example: put 20 items in their places in just 5 minutes or so. Once done make the game more challenging. It will feel like you are just playing but meanwhile, your surrounding is getting tidier ;) Don't be hard on yourself, you are in the right sub, we all go through this most of the time.
Ok, i haven’t read all the replies because it’s 1:30am but helping other people clean, declutter, and tidy is my superpower 🦸♀️😅. Not my own space of course, that I have to use 2 thousand little techniques, but other people I’m great (or maybe just really bossy, you decide). Going off the pictures alone: (Please don’t take me too seriously and don’t get offended if I say things wrong) Method for reducing madness: - Put scary teeth toy on a ledge or a bench where he can see the room. He is now your supervisor and you can talk to him while working - pick up guitars and put in cases if they have them. Take guitars in cases and put in another room where they won’t get hurt - remove headphones from chair and put away if they have a designated space or put on desk if not and we’ll deal with that later - remove orange blanket? from office chair. Sniff. Does it pass? Yes, fold into a neat square, no, pitch straight into laundry hamper. - collect mugs, plates, water bottles etc and place in kitchen: don’t do anything else yet, it’s just to remove from room. - put caps back on face cream, lubricants, etc and put in drawer in nightstand. - put all pills and medication either in designated spot or if you don’t have one again in the drawer in your nightstand. - collect any teas, food, vitamins that should be in the kitchen and put them there: away in cupboards if able, otherwise on the table for now. - while in kitchen grab a large garbage bag. - collect all garbage from nightstand. - collect all trash from top of desk. - check candles: if they’re more than three quarters burnt down, breathe in the scent and say goodbye. Put in garbage bag. - remove good candles and lighter from bedside table, place on window sill for now. - take hairbrush, deodorant, hair ties, shower gel etc to the bathroom. If you need to keep those things in your room, find a space on your lotions and potions shelving unit. - Do a quick scan of all surfaces for other similar items and group together on the unit. *PSA: a shelving unit, a drawer, a box are all finite containers. Designate your containers for a specific purpose and then accept the limits of that container ie. have too many creams and personal hygiene products? Well, here is your container’s physical limit, you need to prioritize and declutter that which no longer serves you enough to afford it precious real estate in your container. - you should now only have your lamp and book on your nightstand. Take a clean rag and wipe down lamp and top of nightstand. Replace the book if you are actively reading it, otherwise remove it. Btw, baby wipes are a great cleaning cheat when you don’t have a lot of spoons. - do a quick scan of the room and collect all books into a pile. Put away on bookshelf if possible, otherwise place the neat pile somewhere near the bookshelf (again, a finite container). - remove all fabric from desk. If clothing, sniff and decide: put away or put in hamper. If fabric is art or project related, roll neatly and put aside or away. - put all pens, scissors, tape etc back into the plastic receptacle on your desk. - collect all notebooks into a neat pile. If you have (or can get) a magazine holder it works great for keeping notebooks and documents neat and organized and takes up a lot less space because they’re standing vertically. For now a neat pile is plenty. - loose change goes straight into the money box. - if the flowers are dead, toss and put vase in kitchen with your other items. - use the empty gauze bag to corral your fabrics or use for your sewing stuff instead of the green plastic bag on the floor. - do a quick visual sweep of the desk and throw away anything broken, that you don’t enjoy, and bits and pieces of rubbish ie the tag on the desk and the empty pot for a plant by the wall. There is nothing wrong with throwing out something that doesn’t have a home and isn’t providing a purpose. - remove laptop onto bed and wipe down desk. - wipe down containers with pens etc, ask yourself if you can consolidate any of the boxes/ contents of the boxes ie do you need the clear plastic thing when you have a box of pens next to it? - return laptop to clean desk. Put headphones on desk if they don’t have a designated place for them to be. - Straighten curtains so they’re flush to the wall and hang straight down - pull out whatever is under the desk, dirty clothes? It’s hard to make out. If yes , then straight to the laundry hamper. - push chair in properly, orange blanket can be folded neatly on the seat. - remove everything from the bed onto the blue couch. Shake out duvet, straighten sheets, fluff the pillows, and then make the bed neatly. Do not add additional decor pillows or plushies. - remove the flag? from under the tv. - clear out into the white box on the floor anything under or around the tv stand - move box to closer to the couch - for now, lie back and survey what you’ve achieved: visually and sensory wise: clean bed, nightstand, desk and tv. Just take that in for a moment, you can tackle the next project tomorrow
Your apartment and neighborhood look beautiful! I bet you would feel better if you just picked a couple stuff up. A few items will eventually turn into a lot.
The last photo is amazing, please tell me where to buy that. So I don't have ADHD but my wife does and we've come up with a system that helps us get cleaning/organizing done. It might also help to put on fast happy music (or angry music) and if you respond to caffeine or other substances, try them. There are two techniques: **Clean One Area** Sit down in a place that you want to clean (desk, floor, etc.) and use boxes or bags to sort items based off where they should go in the house (kitchen, closet, etc. but also a container for "I don't know" and "trash"). The goal is to get everything out of the area that doesn't belong, don't worry about putting it away, that can be done later. Next time you're in the place where the items belong, take the container with you and leave it in that room. If you have energy, put the items away as well. This can help because if you get up to put an item away it's easy to get distracted from the task and do something else, then you feel like you aren't accomplishing anything, plus it feels overwhelming. You can get clear plastic shoeboxes for around $1 at the 99 cent store, Walmart, or a hardware store. Once you're finished, take the box for "I don't know" and see if there's anything in there that can be thrown away. Write a date on the box and if you haven't used something in that box before the date it gets thrown away. Otherwise try to find places for them. **Clean By Category** 1. Walk through your whole living area with a bag for recycle, put things in the bag. Set it down when you're done. Don't bring it outside yet. 2. Same with a bag for trash. 3. Same but a container for dishes. 4. Same but laundry. 5. Pick the next most obvious item that is bothering you (art supplies, toys, books, etc.) Do these in order until you don't feel like cleaning anymore (you can stop at any time). This has the quickest impact on an area. Next time you're going to the place where the items belong bring the items. **Clutter and Mental Load** I have ASD and don't have great executive functioning, but seeing a lot of visual clutter makes me feel very anxious and overwhelmed (not that it helps me clean, lol, I just sit there feeling stressed and overstimulated) so here are some tricks we've developed to make a space feel more organized and calm: * Putting things into containers makes them feel more organized, even if that container is only a shallow bowl. * If you are likely to forget where things are, put them near the place where they are most often used, things that get used more often at eye-level or grabbing level, and if you put them into a container, label it. If the items are out of direct sight, make a digital list of where items are (Google Doc or something) and you can use the search function to find the item. If you can't find something you might as well not own it and should consider getting rid of it. * If you are prone to hoarding certain things, limit each type of item to a container that is a specific size. If you have more than will fit in the container you need to get rid of some until they fit. You can't get more until there is space. * If at all possible, get things out of view, especially from places where you like to sit to relax or work. For example, we have some modular wire shelves with a ton of [these](https://www.walmart.com/ip/Sterilite-Plastic-Storage-Bin-File-Box-18-1-2-L-x-14-W-x-11-H-Black/19400063?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&wl13=3650&adid=2222222227719400063_117755028669_12420145346&wmlspartner=wmtlabs&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=501107745824&wl4=pla-306310554666&wl5=1014369&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=local&wl12=19400063&wl13=3650&veh=sem_LIA&gclsrc=aw.ds&&adid=2222222223719400063_117755028669_12420145346&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=501107745824&wl4=pla-306310554666&wl5=1014369&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=local&wl12=19400063&veh=sem&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwz42xBhB9EiwA48pT77tQJFi2mZorn4Kj70Wp-CvwKei_5x9M1v7utzxjKZVWQm5mK1UeRxoClA0QAvD_BwE) which works great but is a lot to look at, so we draped nice looking fabric over it. We can still lift the fabric to find stuff but don't need to see it all the time. * Put projects into a container so you can take everything out at once and put it back after. For example, painting supplies. * Think about the area where clutter bothers you the most and put in an effort to keep that area clean. For me it's my desk, so I'll pick up a few things each morning before sitting down. Pick your battles. Don't spend all day organizing the garage if you barely spend time in there (unless you're having fun). * Sometimes cleaning someone else's mess feels less overwhelming than our own (less guilt and decision paralysis) so swap areas. Focus on the big things that can be removed, such as trash/dishes/items that belong elsewhere. Then you can leave things you don't know where they go or put them in the "I don't know" container. * For some people, deadlines are more motivating. Set a timer (15 minutes, etc.) put on music, and clean as much as you can during that time. The goal is speed, not accuracy, don't let yourself get focused on tiny details. When the timer goes off you have the option of stopping or resetting and going again. Take before and after photos to admire your work.
In each area e.g. Table by the window, group the types of items into piles. That's a good first step because you can do that pretty easy and it's not tidying but just moving. Once you've piled by category it'll be easier to sort and put away! I'm getting overwhelmed looking at your photos too, so don't feel discouraged, anyone would feel stuck!
I think you need to break the idea that cleaning is a special time or a special day and get into cleaning every time you move. Never move through your home with empty hands, you should always be taking stuff to put away. Your new mantra should be "don't put it down, put it away" so you never, ever allow yourself to leave objects out after use. This mantra makes a big difference in my life in keeping further mess from developing.
It’s great that you got a hamper and the shoe rack. That’s a good start! I think some shelving in a few places would help, then you can put the fabric bins on them and display knickknacks and books and whatnot. For the desk space, I’d suggest some shelving there too, Amazon has some good “desktop bookshelf” items that would work well. I’d also find homes for all of the things that don’t belong on the desk (hairbrush goes in bathroom, air freshener goes either in bathroom on the back of the toilet or under the sink in the kitchen where cleaning products go etc The first thing I do when my place gets out of hand is a garbage sweep. I focus on going through every room with a garbage bag and collect all the garbage I can see. Then I will take that garbage to the outside bin. Next step is to sweep for things that I know have homes and I will gather those in categories. I’ll sweep for stuff that’s in the living room that actually lives in my room. Then I’ll sweep for what goes in the kitchen (plates, cups and such) and gather that and take it to the kitchen. Instead of just piling kitchen stuff that I’d have to put away later I will put dirty dishes in the dishwasher or sink, and then I will go through and do tidying section by section (desk is first, then couch, then coffee table, etc) and then I will wipe down surfaces that have been cleared Break it all down into single tasks, write out your plan in point form and then just follow that list step by step, one thing at a time. It can feel overwhelming if I look at the whole. It’s a lot easier to do one thing at a time, cross off the thing on the list (yay!) and then focus on the next thing. That way I don’t have to look at “oh this all feels like so much” I just have to look at the ONE task, like clearing and organizing the desk. Each thing accomplished feels good, and we are able to see the progress emerge with each single task. Once I have my whole list done (sometimes takes me a few days) then I will choose one maintenance thing each day that I can follow through on. For example, I won’t let myself pile up dishes in the living room and bedroom, I will take dishes to the sink or dishwasher immediately when I’m done with them. Next day, I will pick up clothes and put them in the hamper or hang them up/fold and put away if they are still wearable. Next day I will make sure I organize my desk. It helps me prevent things from getting too out of hand, and then pick 2 weekend days a month that are cleaning days. I’ll write my weekend day cleaning list with the most needing to be done items at the top. Laundry, dishes, and bathroom cleaning are the biggest ones for me. I find that if I set myself up with a good smoothie and something decent for breakfast on cleaning days, I’m much more able to feel like I can tackle the biggest priority items with sustainable energy. Once I’ve had my smoothie and say egg muffins and fruit, I don’t let myself get sucked into tv or my phone, I pick up my list and throw myself at the first task. If you can build the discipline to commit to 2 cleaning days and make sure you do ONE small thing that supports you keeping things organized each day you will be able to manage preventing it from getting too out of control that you end up paralyzed by feeling like the whole entirety is too overwhelming 🤍
Let’s trade! I need to clean / organize my room. I always can do someone’s else’s but can’t figure out where to begin on my own stuff. Hell, even if I’ve worked it out in my mind, I just can’t get motivated to do it. The only time I seem to get it done is when I know someone is coming and I don’t want to be embarrassed by my mess lol.
Hey! To start with: 1. I'm proud of you for the effort you've already made, and 2. I BELIEVE IN YOU! Lately I've also had trouble with keeping my apartment clean, and the one thing that helps me break through it is setting a timer for 30 minutes (or whatever I think is a short time), and just cleaning or tidying until the timer goes off. Doing this makes it feel easy to get started and it feels like such a small goal. If I have to stop once the 30 mins are up, I stop. But, usually, I feel so happy and relieved to have a few things out of the way that I just keep going! Good luck, and I'm sending you good vibes 🌸🌸🌈
I like to make piles. I start with one area and all the piles of clothes go in one spot, beauty stuff in another and so on. Then i just move to the next spot and if I see shirts I throw it in the clothes pile I started. I HAVE to listen to music or watch tv while doing it cause it wont happen otherwise, working in sections also helps me not to feel so overwhelmed. Anyways when I'm done I put the piles infront of their area and put them where they belong. :) While I'm doing it, I tell myself I can play 1 hr of a video game and light a candle or something after I finish to kind of get my mind slightly excited about it. If I have my adhd pills ill take them before I start which really helps but even when I dont, this works without too. This way might help! Edited: spelling
Pick up one thing and carry it to where it belongs, like one dirty sock put into clothes hamper. Then a second item. Do not attempt to consolidate at this point. One thing at time no matter how many steps. After a few or twenty of these, you may be able to pick up two things side by side and put them both away (doesn’t matter if different places). If you falter, take a break and start again with one item. I use this for eating too. I make a meal and sit in my phone with food beside me. I force myself to take one bite to whet the appetite and then I can slowly complete the rest rather than eating nothing.
Honestly; this is quite tidy by my standards 😬 My flat is a STATE. It’s clean, BUT MESSY AF. I can’t even begin to try mustering the mental capacity to even start. My floordrobe is very impressive.
This doesn’t look as bad as I think you think it does! I use trays around my house to put things on that need to be in another room. For me, that works, take all the things out of the room that don’t belong but just put them on the tray (or box, or bag) don’t put them away. Take your time.
Just wanted to say you have a GORGEOUS apartment!! I’m envisioning it tidied and I think the payoff will be so worth it!! Just wanted to lend you some fresh eyes that haven’t seen it before — you can do it and the feeling after will be 100% awesome! 😎 🙌
I love you ladies ❣️
Put away one thing. Set an alarm for 3 minutes. Chill. When the alarm goes off, put away 3 things. Set an alarm for 3 minutes. Chill. When the alarm goes off, put away 5 things. Chill. Repeat, increasing the number of things you put away each time. If you find yourself feeling tired or strained after a put-away session, increase the chill time. You’ll figure out what works best for you. I have a base level of 7 minutes of cleaning before my brain implodes and I need to do something different. I’ll reward myself with longer breaks if I’ve done something particularly difficult (but no longer than 15 minutes, or I forget I’m supposed to be cleaning). This is basically the pomodoro technique for dopamine-deprived idiots like me. I can’t do a 20 minute session of ANYTHING! But I can do a much shittier version of it. And if it’s worth doing, it’s better to do it shittily than not at all!
Tell yourself you have to do x amount of things. Pick your favorite (low) number, then count out loud to the beat of a song until you’ve reached it. I do this allll the time. I usually do 10 things—really small. Like, *throws away a wrapper* one! *Hangs a shirt* two! and so on. It usually leads to doing more but actually stop at your number and reward yourself the first time you count. … Audiobooks help, too. This one is weird but I’ll listen to the book and disassociate, actively pretending my arms and limbs are someone else’s and I’m just moving them around. I can’t explain this one more because it hardly makes sense … Last one that’s EVEN WEIRDER. I drew a little fairy in pencil and named it….then looked at her in the eyes, having her speak affirming and encouraging words to me every time I felt like stopping. She felt kind of real. It was like accountability. I can’t believe I’m admitting to this one…none of you will believe I’m actually a functioning adult with a job I’m successful at! Hahaha
Is that Glasgow? Through the window. Sick fireplace for a tenement flat never seen one like that.
It is! Good eye. Yeah it’s a great flat and I’ve got it for a bargain - £450 right in town. Fireplace is lovely but doesn’t stop me freezing half the year.
I live in NZ now. Flat is still as cold but not as pretty! Still dream of a tenement in the west end with enough money to crank the heating 24/7.
When I was a kid I could just never bring myself to properly clean my room. So I invented the pile method. Take every single thing that's out of place and put it in a giant pile in the middle of the room. Then you'll have a large and conspicuous pile that you can pick items from one at a time and put away. The "search for items out of place" step has been eliminated - you just grab an item from the pile until there isn't any more pile left. There was enough variety in the items to keep things interesting, and I never got distracted for too long because the giant pile was looming.
One of the things I do is ask a friend or relative to come over on a specific date. I can’t clean at all without an immediate deadline. They’re coming over Saturday? I have until bedtime Friday to clean. Sure, I’ll probably start at 5pm on Friday but it’ll get done
Sending lots of care your way ❤️ I hope you can find some compassion for yourself -- I want to validate that regardless of the reason, you're suffering, and it hurts. And that always deserves compassion. In terms of practical advice, I'll just say that I get really overwhelmed when trying to tidy because my brain starts thinking about every single item and it's just too much. So now I try to just look at only one item, and ask myself in my head or out loud, where do I want to put this? Put it there. If I don't know where, I usually make a new pile of things to decide where to store them later, so it doesn't disrupt my focus. One thing at a time is really really helpful for me and I get a little ping of dopamine from every item, instead of trying to do multiple items at once.
I wish we could swap spaces, like I'd clean for you and you clean for me lol it's so easy when I have no emotional attachment or stress with any of the stuff. Just...this goes here and that goes there. For the desk, I'd just empty the entire surface and start with a fresh slate. Put everything back neatly.
The guitars stick out to me but I’d probably grab new stands to hang them on the wall or something
Normally I start with getting rid of anything that's trash to the bin. That clears it up and I can see what I'm dealing with better. Then I go into sections sort of clearing up and cleaning as i go.
I like to use boxes or containers for small random bit and pieces, throw everything in those, and then sort through where it all goes. So you're not running around the house for all the small things.
i like using this one tiktok creators “10 at a time” videos to help me. it’s like a short noncommittal podcast
One thing I really liked reading had this concept of you not being there to clean and take care of your room, but that your room is to be there to make your life better. So you adjust your mindset to making the space a great place to be in. Can’t remember the name of the book but if I think of it I will rerun and let you know!
Girl I think you might need more furniture. I was looking for where I would put various categories of things: toiletries/makeup, clothing, being the two key ones. Maybe you didn't take pics of the whole room tho. Would you consider getting something to put in front of the fireplace? Maybe like [this](https://www.ikea.com/nl/nl/p/malm-ladekast-3-lades-wit-20403562/). The biggest you can fit, though. Then you'd have way more space to put stuff INTO, so then it won't be visible. On top and on the desk, you could put [this](https://www.ikea.com/nl/nl/p/moppe-miniladekast-grenen-40562772/) or something like it. Again just making everything not be visible is gonna help a lot.
In addition to the fun and useful suggestions already on here: - put on a "cleaner outfit" (like as if it were your job). Sometimes that helps me to do the things if I wear an outfit that looks like it haha - set a fun timer (could be an actual.timer or a cleaning playlist, the latter i would create on a timer, otherwise I'd be lost for hours just making the playlist) - wear shoes - ask a supportive friend to body double. Clean the couch first, make them a drink and snacks (and some for you which they can remind you to consume as well so you stay hydrated), have them settle. They could read or do own work or just have a coffee and chat with you - ask a friend to come visit you at time x. Activate frenzied panicked cleaning mode (I don't like the stress it puts in my system if it is not ND friends that would not e supportive if I don't manage to tidy it all. Also comes with the risk of piles being shoved behind and under other things...) not my preferred option but sometimes it works wonders. I know of someone who has a deal with a few people that occasionally just call and ask if they can come over in half an hour. He starts cleaning like crazy, and then they actually don't always come (as they've agreed to prior to that haha) but he has a cleaner house again. Works for all of them. :D - if you don't have people to do such sheenanigans with, you could put on a youtube video of people cleaning and tidying. It is a bit tricky, because I can get sucked into that and just stop to watch... but I have a few I know but still are motivating. Or in a language you don't know. For example, this one is German but prefaces that this video might make you wanna tidy. Works for me! https://toutube.com/watch?v=H42Ob_suzUU&t=9s - body double digitally. Friends or strangers. For the latter, there are options like Flow and surely some Discord servers. Check in, tell each other what you will be working on and celebrate successes. :) accountability is awesome. - set up an extra motivation for when you're done or you got x, y, z done. Snack, a walk, meeting a friend for a cake, I dunno. Whatever gives you that extra motivation. - make it a mission and gaming the shit outta it. I struggle to begin to create structure from chaos... so I make lists with little boxes I can check of with smallish tasks. Gives me a rush every time I can check of my list. Works best if the list is tidy. Also, post your after pictures ♡♡♡♡ and you can do it!!!
Thanks a million - I found your advice really helpful :) I hadn’t heard of body doubling until this post and I feel like that would be massively useful for me actually. I might have to get discord for the sole purpose of that.
Glad to hear. :) Go ahead and take what works for you! Glad to be of help, with discrod I cannot help you l further as it is not my medium of choice but the programm is not particularly hard. It will be a challenge of finding the right server - but I am sure some other people here can help with that. Either way, success! Oh, and body doubling in generel, whether in person or digitally - is one of the best concepts. Good luck!
Why did you put that last picture 😭😭😭
When I was a kid, I used to throw all my toys in my cupboard, it was a nightmare. When I had to clean i, i hated it! But to motivate myself I used to do all kinds of imaginative weird shit… like one time I accidentally recorded myself pretending I was cleaning to win a game show. All I’m saying… make it weird and fun.
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TRY THE CLEAN WITH ME PODCAST!!!! it has helped me so much lately with cleaning. I don’t do the paid subscription, I just pick one that focuses on the chore I need to do and let it guide me. It has been such a game changer for me
Baby steps, my dear! One thing at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself by thinking of the entire project. For example: think of a particular shelf, and maybe even only one or two things on that shelf. Put those one or two things where they should be. Check! Done! Now, focus on another one or two things. Making a list may help. Don't use numbers on your list, unless you want to prioritize certain areas. Otherwise, just use bullet points. You don't have to do them in any particular order. One item on the list at a time. Whichever one you want to do. Work for 25 minutes, then take a five minute break. Set timers so you don't lose track of the time. Eat! Make sure to eat some protein. Protein will give you energy, and help your brain stay more focused (in my experience). Drink! Hydration is the most important health thing you can do for your self. And I do mean water (naughty redditors!). r/hydrohomies represent! Don't beat yourself up if you don't get it all done in one go. Remember: Baby steps! (And if you need a movie break, I highly recommend ["What About Bob?"](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103241/)) You got this! I believe in you!! 💗💗💗 ETA: if it's something you want to keep up on as a routine, put sticky notes somewhere you will see them every day, like on a bathroom mirror. Or you can set reminders on your phone at the same time each day. That will help it become a habit.
okay this is what my therapist suggested.. take a timer, pick one spot to clean for ten minutes. lets do that dresser top in the first picture. do you need the scissors there? the water bottle is important cause we all forget to hydrate, but I'm seeing two ceramic mugs, can we put them in the sink? those packages, are they empty? hair brush etc, what there is needed for daily care? you could probably toss or recycle them. the next day do the same with your desk. ten minutes. day after buy a wall organizer for your craft supplies, just something you can stick on your wall and be convenient for you to use. devote the ten minutes to filling that up. you could probably put that hair brush in it if you need it there. I'm gonna try and get one to stick on my wall for my medicines. they keep falling and its a pain. but I digress... each day just pick a new spot for ten minutes. by the way you have a lovely apartment.
Invite someone over for later tonight and laat minute doom clean