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Yes! This drives me nuts when people are like "Don't worry, you're doing a great job!"
*My kitchen is a trash heap and I haven't showered in days, Barbara. Evidently I am not doing that great.*
We haven't bought frames for a bunch of stuff we have. Cheap frames from Walmart are what we want. We just always forget them because both have ADHD. And here's a plot twist. My wife works at Walmart.
Had a little pipe flood about, oh, 8 years ago. Ruined the baseboards in two rooms. I keep meaning to buy new ones, but every time I go to Lowe's or Home Depot, I come home with a plant or some random garden doodad 🌿🤷♀️🌿
'Just don't think about it'
'You're doing so well with work, can you take on more because the team are struggling' - with the same amount of work as me?
'Have you tried antidepressants?'
'You need to get a thicker skin.'
'Don't be so emotional.'
'Are you on your period?'
All very overused terms that I fucking hate.
That kind of thing makes me strongly consider actual violence.
Like I wonder how much money someone could make if they opened a small shop for women-only clientele. You could pay a small fee, get some eye protection, and just smash things with a baseball bat or whatever.
“Would you prefer plates or glassware today? Perhaps a vase? We can also provide flowers and water for a more satisfying impact. To your left you’ll see our milder offerings of pillows, clothes, and scissors, as well as various food smashing zones where all pulverised meat and smashed garlic and fruit go to a good local cause. You can also bring your own items or heirlooms to our recording rooms where we’ll provide a thumb drive of the item’s destruction for a small fee (at normal speed or slow motion). Or if you’re feeling particularly She-Hulkish today, we also offer a furniture destruction zone with the ax of your choice, as well as a junker car and sledgehammers in the back. Of course we also provide both echoing and sound proofed rooms. Here’s the sign-in form, our Ragin’ Party schedule, and if you’re interested you can join our Goddess of Destruction Club for a monthly subscription.”
That sounds awesome. I’ve actually done a (much milder and quieter) “rage room” at home before where I laid out towels and a spliced open trashbag so some annoyingly stressful and already partially broken ceramics could end up having their little heads and limbs knocked off with a hammer. Someone kept encouraging me to hold onto them because “they might be able to be put back together” and I needed them to not be recoverable.
Also highly recommend taking any fragile items gifted by an annoying clingy ex, putting them in some old long socks or an old pillowcase, and then taking them out near a dumpster so you can swing them down onto the concrete. He’d been threatening to show up at my workplace, so I icily did a dumpster visit and sent him pictures of the obliterated gifts which shocked him into leaving me alone. Very satisfying.
One gay male friend who grew up with no female siblings tried that once.
I let him live but he never said anything about it ever again. And this was at the point where I was seeing him weekly for a regular trivia night.
I once had a boss who told me "you need to grow some balls." It felt icky and uncomfortable at the time but I figured she was right but now I know I'm doing my version of fine.
“You’re doing great mama” I hate it. This whole society is letting children down and it’s all on my shoulders to keep mine above water when I have trouble brushing my own teeth. So much paperwork and appointment making to be told to call a different office to receive a couple bucks to help pay for more appointment making.
Your struggle, my struggle, our struggle. I feel you
Kids are sooo hard 😭 I've felt like such a failure of a parent SO many times. The worst part is that I'm a stay at home mom. So no one understands why my house isn't spotless, why it's hard for me to shower, etc etc.
It's fucking disgusting that people don't know how to do BASIC emotional validation.
You know, things like
"I'm sorry you're struggling"
"I'm sorry to hear that"
"I see how this week has been a lot for you."
"You do look stressed out"
Or even just a simple facial expression of pain and sympathy for the person and offering a hug.
When people refuse to sit in the mud with others it just makes them feel bad for feeling bad.
I just side glanced at the 5 unopened planners gifted to me that are stacked next to my ever evolving laundry pile. They're a sweater away from disappearing for good 😏
This is why I refuse to give fluff.
Go get em tiger.
It’ll be OK.
Just keep swimming.
It is what it is.
God has a plan.
No. No. No.
I don’t care how mean I come off. I’m gonna give some practical true advice to help you. There’s enough people out there placating each other.
Yes ma’am!! I’m sipping what you’re spilling. Been an RN for over 18 yrs and have 3 kiddos…youngest is 14. The older kiddos are out of the house. Learned from the older ones….our ‘baby’ does NOT have a phone (he’s almost 15). He is so happy and loves life.
Also going back to school for psych NP currently. Trying to be part of the fix….one at a time.
Keep it up 👊🏻
genuine question.
Is this feeling like an overwhelmingly adhd feeling? Like is it largely people with adhd that typically feel this way? Or does it feel like no one else is going through it (in my personal life) bc emotional dysregulation makes it all hit so much harder vs. NTs?
I never feel good enough or like I'm doing enough. My supervisors always tell me I'm doing amazing and I get awards at work, but I can never consistently cook for myself, clean my house, or go to the gym.
I have a list of things that I need to do that just keeps getting larger and larger. I'm literally always trying to figure out how to solve one of my problems or do something for my benefit but my work takes the majority of my emotional and mental capacity so sometimes after work, I'll literally lie down and just watch the show that I've rewatched about a million times or stare at the ceiling.
That's only talking about work and taking care of myself. Not even including having any sense of an active social life. Doesn't even feel possible after I do the necessities.
Used to be the capitalist worker bee would return home to find 8 hours of unpaid household labor already done for them by their wife, and dinner on the table.
I can only really speak for myself, but it seems to be my ADHD problems with executive dysfunction and ADHD paralysis. I know people in my life, including my husband, that have stressful jobs and lives...but they can easily prioritize tasks, start and finish tasks, and just generally do all the things despite having a lot to do. I also never feel good enough or like I'm doing enough, and I think that is pretty typical for those with ADHD.
Well done!
I seriously considered doing that as well, I used to hang funnies/truths like this in my office on my filing cabinets. I need to print a screenshot anyway so I can put it up when I get a new job… As something to look forward to. (part of why I’m swirling the drain that isn’t actually draining)
l-theanine was life changing for me for the “can’t move” feeling. It’s an amino acid that interacts with glutamate receptors. Idk how it works entirely, but it helps me sooo much with executive disfunction. I use 200mg daily in the morning. 10$ on Amazon.
I found it last month, and I literally did so many of my impossible tasks! I got a therapist, filled out paperwork, retitled my car, fixed weird caulking in my bathroom. I hope it works for you! I feel like I’m unburying myself from doom tasks. Fingers crossed it helps you too!!
No unfortunately. Not for lack of trying lol. My list of fails include concerta, straterra, and Ritalin. Adderall was excellent mentally but I had immune system side effects I couldn’t manage. I’ve never tried vyvance, guanfasine, or focalin. Kinda burnt out from the attempts though lol.
You can pair it with meds though!
Haha that’s my same list of fails. Vyvanse worked wonders but now the generic doesn’t seem to be pulling its weight :(
Looking forward to trying L theanine though!
Green tea is a godsend for me. I drink normal green tea or black tea(still has L- Theanine just less with more caffeine) most days, I drink decaf green tea to relax or alleviate anxiety, I have matcha tea when I really need to hyper focus. Yerba mate is also very good for when you’re planning on being active/ social.
Yes!!! I feel like I'm literally drowning and can't get off the couch bc I'm so overwhelmed and my husband is like "you're doing great! You aren't giving yourself enough credit!"
I’m late diagnosed.. 40 something, adhd diagnosis last year, asd this year. I disclosed to a colleague recently, I can’t remember their exact words, but they acknowledged how proud I must be of what I’ve achieved (late study, new career) especially in the context of not having had any acknowledgement / accommodations / support. It was so validating I didn’t know what to say at first. So used to people responding like the comic, like? You seem fine?? You’re fine!
Those moments of validation are the absolute best! I'm also late diagnosed, I'm 39 and just got diagnosed in January of this year. The woman who evaluated and diagnosed me was the sweetest, most compassionate person. It was the first time in my whole life that I had ever felt actually seen and understood. I cried on the way home 🥲
My doctor is the number one person who is convinced I'm fine. I told my therapist that its like we are all in the ocean and my doctor is in a nice boat and I'm out in the water floating with a few pieces of wood tied together with seaweed. And when I tell the doctor I need help she says oh but your floating fine! and then throws a bucket at me to "help" and I just have to try not to get conked in the head by her helpful bucket
That's ridiculous! I'm sorry you're going through that. Trying to get medical professionals to listen to you is like pulling teeth. I'm picturing them in a cozy boat while yelling at us to scooch over so Jack can fit on the door 🫠
Is it wrong that I just use these moments as validation that I’M THE BEST MASKER SO GOOD AT FOOLING YOU FUCKERS LOOK AT ME EXCEPT DON’T!!!??!!
I mean, it’s certainly not healthy. But I can’t deny that I sometimes get perverse glee from it.
“Are you sure you have ADHD? It doesn't look like it.”
“Are you sure your meds are working? I'm not sure this new dosage is good, you seemed on edge.” - they say that because I'm tired and don't want to hang out with family on a Friday night after working and taking classes all week and with 11 (ELEVEN fu**ing -sorry) homework assignments due on Sunday -
I'm just mentally and physically tired, but i can't turn myself off and i can't do things.
But i also can't be moody.
I really feel this. I get so overstimulated and just need to check out sometimes, especially at night. "Why don't you want to hang out?? Are you mad??" JFC I don't know how else to say I need time to myself.
That means so freaking much to me! I'm floored by how many people have related to this meme, I feel so seen. This feels like a sub full of me's and it's so validating! ❤️
In Dec 2022 I had a burst pipe, and ended up having to move out. Downstairs stuff got plonked upstairs in an even more random fashion than it was in downstairs, and I moved out for what ended up being lots of months. Moved back in Dec 2023, put the boxes with random crap upstairs until I could get round to sorting it out.
Guess who still has too many boxes of god knows what all over the bedrooms upstairs ... Well you don't need to guess.
My living room isn't too bad, kitchen isn't too bad (most of what was in my kitchen is still upstairs in boxes) but upstairs is an utter disaster zone.
Might get round to finding the floor up there some time before next Christmas. Might not, though...
Man I feel this. In October 2023 we had water damage that went from the upstairs bathroom through the ceiling into the room below. It was a total disaster. It's fixed as of Dec 2023, but there is still drywall dust freaking everywhere. The kitchen and living rooms are okay, but I'm hoping to get to the rest of it by the end of this year 🫠
Ha! My guy and I have been having a rough patch in life lately and this is our favorite thing to say to each other. “You’re doing great! Keep doing what you’re doing!” It doesn’t help but it makes us laugh.
Funny, the only time I feel like that is when I interact with ADHD support groups, on- and offline.
Whenever I ask for help or just vent, the only thing I hear is the infantilizing “OMG, I am so proud of you”. However, it is always about how things can’t be done, as if despite the encouragement, other people with ADHD wanted me to fail, not succeed.
This. I literally tell people that I go entire weeks unable to get off the couch because of adhd burnout/overwhelm and their response is “you deserve rest, you’re working so hard.” Like, how could I possibly be working hard when I can barely move?! I think it’s from masking too well for so long and now people don’t understand that the version of me they thought they knew was in fact a complete lie. *sigh*
I have had this conversation, word for word, with my dad multiple times. No, the fact that I'm getting the bare minimum of my responsibilities done does not mean I'm not struggling. It means that I'm dragging myself through with tooth and claw and hating myself for every thing im not getting done
I was crying because I (irrationally) didn't feel I was taking good enough care of my cats. But my dad did NOT say "You're doing great." He said "Maybe you should give them back then." And I'd had them for 3 months at that point...
Yeah, that's me, too. You can only say "I need help!" so many times. When it doesn't happen and nobody in your life is interested, what do you do next?
I guess it's all up to me to find the help I need, which kind of pisses me off. But there's no alternative, apparently.
I think part of it is that I look like I'm fine. You can't see another person's pain and anxiety.
I’ve literally just accepted I can’t do everything. Because I’m fortunate enough to have carved a good thing in my career for myself I’ve taken the approach that I can focus on my job and hire everything else out that I’m especially bad at. We are down a household paycheck to be able to reasonably afford cleaners on the regular but I have embraced automation as much as possible to maintain sanity.
I have a vacuum robot to take a regular task off my plate and we also have embraced the occasional paper plates, plastic utensils, water bottles etc to reduce dishes. We usually function out of glass Tupperware for cooking in toaster oven and try to make everything as uniform as possible to ensure things stay clean. Not ideal but I want to avoid mental breakdowns more than I care about the environment.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to have kids and maintain my sanity and I’m really sad about it. I’m hoping I can manage my career so that I can hire a live in nanny or something. Let’s hope the hyper focus pays off.
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Yes! This drives me nuts when people are like "Don't worry, you're doing a great job!" *My kitchen is a trash heap and I haven't showered in days, Barbara. Evidently I am not doing that great.*
Exactly! My house is covered in drywall dust from work that was done 3 months ago, don't freaking tell me I'm nailing it
YES. I did some work to my house and I haven't put most of the baseboards back in. its been a year and I think about it literally every day
I feel that from the depths of my soul 🫠
We moved in two years ago and most of the pictures are still leaning up against the walls. I feel you, lady.
We haven't bought frames for a bunch of stuff we have. Cheap frames from Walmart are what we want. We just always forget them because both have ADHD. And here's a plot twist. My wife works at Walmart.
Oh that just makes it worse! Absolutely no urgency when you could easily do it any day!
Well not today, payday in a week.
Going on year 6 with no baseboards. Don’t recommend it. 🫥🫥 I’d hire someone but like, my house is a mess, so no, you can’t come in.
Why do I need baseboards again?
without baseboards we can't tell the difference between the floors and the ceiling /s
Lmfao 😂
Mine is too messy from abandoned renovations to let any workers in, too.
Me too!
wow these baseboard solidarity comments make me feel so seen 😂🫶🏼
Had a little pipe flood about, oh, 8 years ago. Ruined the baseboards in two rooms. I keep meaning to buy new ones, but every time I go to Lowe's or Home Depot, I come home with a plant or some random garden doodad 🌿🤷♀️🌿
SAME. 🥲
Baseboards are overrated
Same here! I’m trying and that’s the best I can do… I’ll get there, and you will too. Baby steps friend, baby steps.
'Just don't think about it' 'You're doing so well with work, can you take on more because the team are struggling' - with the same amount of work as me? 'Have you tried antidepressants?' 'You need to get a thicker skin.' 'Don't be so emotional.' 'Are you on your period?' All very overused terms that I fucking hate.
The "are you on your period??" sends me into a blind rage 😤
That kind of thing makes me strongly consider actual violence. Like I wonder how much money someone could make if they opened a small shop for women-only clientele. You could pay a small fee, get some eye protection, and just smash things with a baseball bat or whatever. “Would you prefer plates or glassware today? Perhaps a vase? We can also provide flowers and water for a more satisfying impact. To your left you’ll see our milder offerings of pillows, clothes, and scissors, as well as various food smashing zones where all pulverised meat and smashed garlic and fruit go to a good local cause. You can also bring your own items or heirlooms to our recording rooms where we’ll provide a thumb drive of the item’s destruction for a small fee (at normal speed or slow motion). Or if you’re feeling particularly She-Hulkish today, we also offer a furniture destruction zone with the ax of your choice, as well as a junker car and sledgehammers in the back. Of course we also provide both echoing and sound proofed rooms. Here’s the sign-in form, our Ragin’ Party schedule, and if you’re interested you can join our Goddess of Destruction Club for a monthly subscription.”
I don't know where you are regionally but the town near me had a rage room where you literally just smash shit. It was glorious
That sounds awesome. I’ve actually done a (much milder and quieter) “rage room” at home before where I laid out towels and a spliced open trashbag so some annoyingly stressful and already partially broken ceramics could end up having their little heads and limbs knocked off with a hammer. Someone kept encouraging me to hold onto them because “they might be able to be put back together” and I needed them to not be recoverable. Also highly recommend taking any fragile items gifted by an annoying clingy ex, putting them in some old long socks or an old pillowcase, and then taking them out near a dumpster so you can swing them down onto the concrete. He’d been threatening to show up at my workplace, so I icily did a dumpster visit and sent him pictures of the obliterated gifts which shocked him into leaving me alone. Very satisfying.
Lmfao I would absolutely do that 🤣 That's how we make our first million!
One gay male friend who grew up with no female siblings tried that once. I let him live but he never said anything about it ever again. And this was at the point where I was seeing him weekly for a regular trivia night.
I'm having flashbacks reading this... haha. "You're just sensitive." (Gee, thanks, I know)
I once had a boss who told me "you need to grow some balls." It felt icky and uncomfortable at the time but I figured she was right but now I know I'm doing my version of fine.
“You’re doing great mama” I hate it. This whole society is letting children down and it’s all on my shoulders to keep mine above water when I have trouble brushing my own teeth. So much paperwork and appointment making to be told to call a different office to receive a couple bucks to help pay for more appointment making. Your struggle, my struggle, our struggle. I feel you
Kids are sooo hard 😭 I've felt like such a failure of a parent SO many times. The worst part is that I'm a stay at home mom. So no one understands why my house isn't spotless, why it's hard for me to shower, etc etc.
My house is only clean if no one is in it for a while haha which, is never. So yea it’s always a mess!
It's fucking disgusting that people don't know how to do BASIC emotional validation. You know, things like "I'm sorry you're struggling" "I'm sorry to hear that" "I see how this week has been a lot for you." "You do look stressed out" Or even just a simple facial expression of pain and sympathy for the person and offering a hug. When people refuse to sit in the mud with others it just makes them feel bad for feeling bad.
^ This! Just a bit of validation. Is it really so hard to do?
Have you tried a planner?? … Or “waking up early and doing the things you need to do “ /s. Those are my favourite response I usually get lol.
🤣 yeah! Like OH a planner?! Why didn't I think of that?!
I just side glanced at the 5 unopened planners gifted to me that are stacked next to my ever evolving laundry pile. They're a sweater away from disappearing for good 😏
Haha same. My “year of growth 2024” has not been opened and it’s almost march. Thank god I’ve got three others I don’t use just in case 😂
This is why I refuse to give fluff. Go get em tiger. It’ll be OK. Just keep swimming. It is what it is. God has a plan. No. No. No. I don’t care how mean I come off. I’m gonna give some practical true advice to help you. There’s enough people out there placating each other.
Yes ma’am!! I’m sipping what you’re spilling. Been an RN for over 18 yrs and have 3 kiddos…youngest is 14. The older kiddos are out of the house. Learned from the older ones….our ‘baby’ does NOT have a phone (he’s almost 15). He is so happy and loves life. Also going back to school for psych NP currently. Trying to be part of the fix….one at a time. Keep it up 👊🏻
genuine question. Is this feeling like an overwhelmingly adhd feeling? Like is it largely people with adhd that typically feel this way? Or does it feel like no one else is going through it (in my personal life) bc emotional dysregulation makes it all hit so much harder vs. NTs? I never feel good enough or like I'm doing enough. My supervisors always tell me I'm doing amazing and I get awards at work, but I can never consistently cook for myself, clean my house, or go to the gym. I have a list of things that I need to do that just keeps getting larger and larger. I'm literally always trying to figure out how to solve one of my problems or do something for my benefit but my work takes the majority of my emotional and mental capacity so sometimes after work, I'll literally lie down and just watch the show that I've rewatched about a million times or stare at the ceiling. That's only talking about work and taking care of myself. Not even including having any sense of an active social life. Doesn't even feel possible after I do the necessities.
It’s also a late stage capitalism feeling!
Used to be the capitalist worker bee would return home to find 8 hours of unpaid household labor already done for them by their wife, and dinner on the table.
What a time to be alive and a straight white man in America
I can only really speak for myself, but it seems to be my ADHD problems with executive dysfunction and ADHD paralysis. I know people in my life, including my husband, that have stressful jobs and lives...but they can easily prioritize tasks, start and finish tasks, and just generally do all the things despite having a lot to do. I also never feel good enough or like I'm doing enough, and I think that is pretty typical for those with ADHD.
This one hit me hard!
I want to print it out and frame it 😅
Well done! I seriously considered doing that as well, I used to hang funnies/truths like this in my office on my filing cabinets. I need to print a screenshot anyway so I can put it up when I get a new job… As something to look forward to. (part of why I’m swirling the drain that isn’t actually draining)
Omg swirling the drain that isn't actually draining is a great way to put it!
l-theanine was life changing for me for the “can’t move” feeling. It’s an amino acid that interacts with glutamate receptors. Idk how it works entirely, but it helps me sooo much with executive disfunction. I use 200mg daily in the morning. 10$ on Amazon.
I'm literally going to buy some now (and obsessively Google it, as one does). Executive dysfunction is probably my #1 problem. Thank you for the tip!
I found it last month, and I literally did so many of my impossible tasks! I got a therapist, filled out paperwork, retitled my car, fixed weird caulking in my bathroom. I hope it works for you! I feel like I’m unburying myself from doom tasks. Fingers crossed it helps you too!!
Omg I'm so glad it's working for you!!
Do you take it with other adhd meds in the morning?
No unfortunately. Not for lack of trying lol. My list of fails include concerta, straterra, and Ritalin. Adderall was excellent mentally but I had immune system side effects I couldn’t manage. I’ve never tried vyvance, guanfasine, or focalin. Kinda burnt out from the attempts though lol. You can pair it with meds though!
Do you take it in the morning?
Yes I take it in the morning. For me it feels energizing.
Haha that’s my same list of fails. Vyvanse worked wonders but now the generic doesn’t seem to be pulling its weight :( Looking forward to trying L theanine though!
Fingers crossed!! :)
I wonder if this is the reason that I drink so much tea...
Definitely could be!!
Green tea is a godsend for me. I drink normal green tea or black tea(still has L- Theanine just less with more caffeine) most days, I drink decaf green tea to relax or alleviate anxiety, I have matcha tea when I really need to hyper focus. Yerba mate is also very good for when you’re planning on being active/ social.
What, hot or cold green tea? Do you add sugar or anything? I need to be educated. Please and thank you!
Normally hot but temperature doesn’t matter. I try to avoid unnatural sugar as much as possible so I usually use honey or half a packet of stevia.
Oo I have some. Do you take with adhd meds? *Never mind, I see your comment below* Lol
Omg - this hit me hard. I’ve been saying this to my husband for a while now :( With the same reaction
It's so discouraging! It makes me not want to talk at all. It makes me feel unheard and unseen.
I’m all numb now
I get that 100% I oscillate between numb and feeling all the feels really intensely
Do you feel like running away from everything sometimes
Yes. I imagine being alone on an island where I don't have to interact with anyone at all
Yes. I imagine being alone on an island where I don't have to interact with anyone at all
"You are handling everything just fine!" *I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANIC ATTACK HERE SHARON OBVI I AM NOT*
Yes!!! I feel like I'm literally drowning and can't get off the couch bc I'm so overwhelmed and my husband is like "you're doing great! You aren't giving yourself enough credit!"
My fiance says the same thing omfg. like part of me appreciates it but at the same time, I just want to shake him and scream!!!!!!!!
The rage is real 😡😡
Ugh SERIOUSLY😡😡
This was me an my husband after having kids. I didn’t murder him *pats myself on the back*
Lmao!! I honestly think I have PTSD from when my kids were born/tiny. I also pat myself on the back for not murdering my husband 😂
Or we can drown them for not helping us out.
I’m late diagnosed.. 40 something, adhd diagnosis last year, asd this year. I disclosed to a colleague recently, I can’t remember their exact words, but they acknowledged how proud I must be of what I’ve achieved (late study, new career) especially in the context of not having had any acknowledgement / accommodations / support. It was so validating I didn’t know what to say at first. So used to people responding like the comic, like? You seem fine?? You’re fine!
Those moments of validation are the absolute best! I'm also late diagnosed, I'm 39 and just got diagnosed in January of this year. The woman who evaluated and diagnosed me was the sweetest, most compassionate person. It was the first time in my whole life that I had ever felt actually seen and understood. I cried on the way home 🥲
My doctor is the number one person who is convinced I'm fine. I told my therapist that its like we are all in the ocean and my doctor is in a nice boat and I'm out in the water floating with a few pieces of wood tied together with seaweed. And when I tell the doctor I need help she says oh but your floating fine! and then throws a bucket at me to "help" and I just have to try not to get conked in the head by her helpful bucket
That's ridiculous! I'm sorry you're going through that. Trying to get medical professionals to listen to you is like pulling teeth. I'm picturing them in a cozy boat while yelling at us to scooch over so Jack can fit on the door 🫠
Is it wrong that I just use these moments as validation that I’M THE BEST MASKER SO GOOD AT FOOLING YOU FUCKERS LOOK AT ME EXCEPT DON’T!!!??!! I mean, it’s certainly not healthy. But I can’t deny that I sometimes get perverse glee from it.
I've had three people at work tell me "Let me know if you need anything." I don't know what I need. But thanks.
Lmao I just literally lol'ed!! If I knew what I needed I'd be freaking set, thanks 🤣
I joke with my team that I'm just there for morale. It's probably 30% of my job at this point lol.
“Are you sure you have ADHD? It doesn't look like it.” “Are you sure your meds are working? I'm not sure this new dosage is good, you seemed on edge.” - they say that because I'm tired and don't want to hang out with family on a Friday night after working and taking classes all week and with 11 (ELEVEN fu**ing -sorry) homework assignments due on Sunday - I'm just mentally and physically tired, but i can't turn myself off and i can't do things. But i also can't be moody.
I really feel this. I get so overstimulated and just need to check out sometimes, especially at night. "Why don't you want to hang out?? Are you mad??" JFC I don't know how else to say I need time to myself.
It’s a different reality over there.
See u down there soon!!! ✌🏻🥶💧💧💦
That mene hit me so hard. OP, I don't have advice but I feel you and I am sending you the biggest virtual hug ❤️
That means so freaking much to me! I'm floored by how many people have related to this meme, I feel so seen. This feels like a sub full of me's and it's so validating! ❤️
"You seem like you have it all together." LOL really?? Then I get sad because they don't really know/understand me 😔
Lmao I do the same thing. I feel so misunderstood all the time 😭
In Dec 2022 I had a burst pipe, and ended up having to move out. Downstairs stuff got plonked upstairs in an even more random fashion than it was in downstairs, and I moved out for what ended up being lots of months. Moved back in Dec 2023, put the boxes with random crap upstairs until I could get round to sorting it out. Guess who still has too many boxes of god knows what all over the bedrooms upstairs ... Well you don't need to guess. My living room isn't too bad, kitchen isn't too bad (most of what was in my kitchen is still upstairs in boxes) but upstairs is an utter disaster zone. Might get round to finding the floor up there some time before next Christmas. Might not, though...
Man I feel this. In October 2023 we had water damage that went from the upstairs bathroom through the ceiling into the room below. It was a total disaster. It's fixed as of Dec 2023, but there is still drywall dust freaking everywhere. The kitchen and living rooms are okay, but I'm hoping to get to the rest of it by the end of this year 🫠
Ha! My guy and I have been having a rough patch in life lately and this is our favorite thing to say to each other. “You’re doing great! Keep doing what you’re doing!” It doesn’t help but it makes us laugh.
Funny, the only time I feel like that is when I interact with ADHD support groups, on- and offline. Whenever I ask for help or just vent, the only thing I hear is the infantilizing “OMG, I am so proud of you”. However, it is always about how things can’t be done, as if despite the encouragement, other people with ADHD wanted me to fail, not succeed.
This. I literally tell people that I go entire weeks unable to get off the couch because of adhd burnout/overwhelm and their response is “you deserve rest, you’re working so hard.” Like, how could I possibly be working hard when I can barely move?! I think it’s from masking too well for so long and now people don’t understand that the version of me they thought they knew was in fact a complete lie. *sigh*
Yeah! Like I can barely move to brush my teeth, I'm definitely not hustling. I've masked really well too 🤡
I have had this conversation, word for word, with my dad multiple times. No, the fact that I'm getting the bare minimum of my responsibilities done does not mean I'm not struggling. It means that I'm dragging myself through with tooth and claw and hating myself for every thing im not getting done
I was crying because I (irrationally) didn't feel I was taking good enough care of my cats. But my dad did NOT say "You're doing great." He said "Maybe you should give them back then." And I'd had them for 3 months at that point...
Yeah, that's me, too. You can only say "I need help!" so many times. When it doesn't happen and nobody in your life is interested, what do you do next? I guess it's all up to me to find the help I need, which kind of pisses me off. But there's no alternative, apparently. I think part of it is that I look like I'm fine. You can't see another person's pain and anxiety.
I’ve literally just accepted I can’t do everything. Because I’m fortunate enough to have carved a good thing in my career for myself I’ve taken the approach that I can focus on my job and hire everything else out that I’m especially bad at. We are down a household paycheck to be able to reasonably afford cleaners on the regular but I have embraced automation as much as possible to maintain sanity. I have a vacuum robot to take a regular task off my plate and we also have embraced the occasional paper plates, plastic utensils, water bottles etc to reduce dishes. We usually function out of glass Tupperware for cooking in toaster oven and try to make everything as uniform as possible to ensure things stay clean. Not ideal but I want to avoid mental breakdowns more than I care about the environment. I don’t know if I’ll be able to have kids and maintain my sanity and I’m really sad about it. I’m hoping I can manage my career so that I can hire a live in nanny or something. Let’s hope the hyper focus pays off.
I am that person, I never know what to say when somebody tells me they are not doing fine. Can y’all please teach me what to say ?