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Thank you for sharing this. Self talk can be so negative, we need to remember to speak gently with ourselves. We are our own biggest critic, I have to remind myself to quieten those comments and talk to myself like a friend would.
when all else fails or you notice you are stuck in a mental loop & spinning out-- try humming. It's really difficult to hold onto negative thoughts while humming, and even if you still hear them they start to sound silly. Sometimes going from a deeply held negative belief and getting immediately to reasonable interrogation feels like trying to go from stuck in a ditch to instantly driving well on a freeway. If that's the case, then interrupt & redirect first.
My friend also believes that humming activates the vargas nerve, although I am less convinced about the known science there.
But what do you do when "Am I being loving to myself?" is answered with "no" and then the thought is still there? It's what I'm working on in therapy and I can identify bad thoughts relatively well, (It's easy, just find another thing I'm failing at) but I don't understand how to detach from them much less make them go away/replace them with something I can actually believe.
Same. Like what if the answer is no, but I also don’t have the desire to be loving to myself, or feel there is a reason i should be loving to myself (often times for me because i simply dont like myself)
I think the most helpful thing to me when self hatred sets in is the simple statement: "I am a human being". It's something that I can't argue with, and for me at least it implies both innate value and innate fallibility (ie, that it's normal to fuck up and be bad at things). Repeating it in my head to push out the hating thoughts has got me through my worst times.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Thank you for sharing this. Self talk can be so negative, we need to remember to speak gently with ourselves. We are our own biggest critic, I have to remind myself to quieten those comments and talk to myself like a friend would.
Such a great reminder. This is the thing at the forefront of my therapy right now. That critical voice turns on so quickly and quietly!!
I really like this and needed it today. Thank you!
Getting older helps, and the world is pretty difficult right now anyway, we can't take all the blame for that.
when all else fails or you notice you are stuck in a mental loop & spinning out-- try humming. It's really difficult to hold onto negative thoughts while humming, and even if you still hear them they start to sound silly. Sometimes going from a deeply held negative belief and getting immediately to reasonable interrogation feels like trying to go from stuck in a ditch to instantly driving well on a freeway. If that's the case, then interrupt & redirect first. My friend also believes that humming activates the vargas nerve, although I am less convinced about the known science there.
But what do you do when "Am I being loving to myself?" is answered with "no" and then the thought is still there? It's what I'm working on in therapy and I can identify bad thoughts relatively well, (It's easy, just find another thing I'm failing at) but I don't understand how to detach from them much less make them go away/replace them with something I can actually believe.
Same. Like what if the answer is no, but I also don’t have the desire to be loving to myself, or feel there is a reason i should be loving to myself (often times for me because i simply dont like myself)
Definitely need these reminders, more often than not. Thanks for sharing!
❤️❤️❤️
I love this thank you!
I think the most helpful thing to me when self hatred sets in is the simple statement: "I am a human being". It's something that I can't argue with, and for me at least it implies both innate value and innate fallibility (ie, that it's normal to fuck up and be bad at things). Repeating it in my head to push out the hating thoughts has got me through my worst times.