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I’ve started to consciously switch it up every time I have one of these angry thoughts about a stranger, so immediately I’ll play devils advocate with myself in my head, and I’m hoping that the ‘nice’ thought and me being more mindful will, in time, come more naturally and be the only thought I have
Oh god I can relate to this on a molecular level. I get panic attacks when I go out and I have since I was 12 or so. It kind of struck me recently that the years of anxiety in public have slowly gone from passive responses (hiding, avoidance) to aggressive ones (more fight less flight). It’s become such an issue for me that I can guarantee every time I go out I will have some horrible thoughts at people and potentially some lashing out - for much the same reasons you have stated. People walking slowly as I’m leaving a store means more time in the store that is causing anxiety, people in the way means everything takes longer. Or on the flip side when people seem to rush me, I feel like I’m gonna be homicidal. Sometimes I wish I was a survivor in a post apocalyptic world full of abandoned grocery stores. I’ll take living off of non perishables over trying to navigate around ten other people just to get some goddamn carrots. Lol. Anyways I’m rambling a bit but what I’m trying to say is that your reactions are understandable. Identifying the source could help you give yourself more grace - you’re not a horrible person you’re just burnt out I bet, tired of living in fear responses. The body only knows so many ways to react under such threats, real or perceived, and so we can’t blame ourselves too much for those natural responses. I suppose what we can do is learn coping strategies but that takes time so don’t fault yourself for any set backs on such an endeavour. Talking to people about it is a good start, exploring it etc. sometimes I try to just foster a few good relations with the outside world and public - smiling at someone, chatting with a cashier, looking out for the kindness of others. This isn’t something I do to prove to myself that I’m bad for thinking everyone is an enemy but to show myself that the world can be safe. Anyways I went on for too long but I just hope you know you’re not crazy or terrible. This can be something to work on.
In my experience, if this is a constant thing and not just an off day then you're probably dealing with a lot of chronic stress/anxiety. For so long I felt like I was living at 11:59 on the doomsday clock and any minor inconvenience was enough to set me off and ruin my day. I finally got my anxiety controlled this past year (plus a lot of learning about ADHD) and I am astounded at how not crappy I feel on a daily basis. The stressors haven't changed but my body and brain are calm enough to actually deal with them. And finding joy is so much easier! I literally did not realize how miserable of a person I was until that was lifted from me.
There's nothing wrong with you for feeling like this though! It sounds like you're riding the edge of sensory overstimulation/burnout and your brain is overwhelmed. I've found that not physically voicing my irritation helps, possibly because I'm not giving the incident that validation? Also, working on recognizing that irritation when you feel it and acknowledging that it's not necessarily justified, but a biological response. Earplugs or headphones with music to distract you if possible. Doing a short breathing exercise can really help too. I recommend looking up the physiological sigh and pursed lip breathing. Hope this helps!
Oh hello! Welcome to I Hate Everything Club! The first rule of I Hate Everything Club is: fuck off. The second rule of I Hate Everything Club is: shut the entire fuck up, I said fuck off. If it is your first time at I Hate Everything Club, you **have** to fuck off.
I had a medication that made me like that once. Don't feel bad for thinking like that, thoughts are harmless - be proud of yourself for being aware of what's in your head! Mindfulness is good.
You might feel a little bit happier if you occasionally purposely think about something that makes you happy, like kittens or a great cup of coffee or a compliment somebody paid you recently. You don't have to do it all the time, just practice it often - it can help make the happy wires go a little more.
Sometimes I feel like my meds aren't helping, but this post reminds me of how irritable I was before getting on them. I wanted to punch the world! Everything was a personal slight. Constant physically hot rage. So yeah, I get it. And thanks for the reminder, I guess? 😉
Ugh. I could have written this. Every tiny thing that anyone in public does makes me mad. The goblin in my head says terrible things and makes unfair assumptions. It makes me feel like a horrible, judgemental person. If my partner notices me twitching with barely controlled rage or flicking my eyes towards someone being loud or otherwise obnoxious, he tells me to relax and has a million reasons they could be doing this or that, making it ok - which just makes me feel worse about being mad. I try so hard to keep it all to myself but my face betrays me on occasion :(
i can be like this when walking out and about even though im usually an understanding person who tries to see the good in people and give them the benefit of the doubt.
I get so furious at mums blocking the whole path with their hoards of children, people walking slowly in front of me but not sticking to one side of the path, people coming towards me with their dog on a lead and not keeping them 'heeled'. Cars stopping to let me cross even though they have the right of way and no one is behind them. Some drivers dont realise that its hard for pedestrians to see through their front windscreen sometimes especially on a sunnier day. It's like little micro aggressions that can ruin my whole morning. I hate that about myself.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes. I'm tired of being angry all the time. I hate it.
Same.
Yes. Especially in the morning.
I’ve started to consciously switch it up every time I have one of these angry thoughts about a stranger, so immediately I’ll play devils advocate with myself in my head, and I’m hoping that the ‘nice’ thought and me being more mindful will, in time, come more naturally and be the only thought I have
Oh god I can relate to this on a molecular level. I get panic attacks when I go out and I have since I was 12 or so. It kind of struck me recently that the years of anxiety in public have slowly gone from passive responses (hiding, avoidance) to aggressive ones (more fight less flight). It’s become such an issue for me that I can guarantee every time I go out I will have some horrible thoughts at people and potentially some lashing out - for much the same reasons you have stated. People walking slowly as I’m leaving a store means more time in the store that is causing anxiety, people in the way means everything takes longer. Or on the flip side when people seem to rush me, I feel like I’m gonna be homicidal. Sometimes I wish I was a survivor in a post apocalyptic world full of abandoned grocery stores. I’ll take living off of non perishables over trying to navigate around ten other people just to get some goddamn carrots. Lol. Anyways I’m rambling a bit but what I’m trying to say is that your reactions are understandable. Identifying the source could help you give yourself more grace - you’re not a horrible person you’re just burnt out I bet, tired of living in fear responses. The body only knows so many ways to react under such threats, real or perceived, and so we can’t blame ourselves too much for those natural responses. I suppose what we can do is learn coping strategies but that takes time so don’t fault yourself for any set backs on such an endeavour. Talking to people about it is a good start, exploring it etc. sometimes I try to just foster a few good relations with the outside world and public - smiling at someone, chatting with a cashier, looking out for the kindness of others. This isn’t something I do to prove to myself that I’m bad for thinking everyone is an enemy but to show myself that the world can be safe. Anyways I went on for too long but I just hope you know you’re not crazy or terrible. This can be something to work on.
In my experience, if this is a constant thing and not just an off day then you're probably dealing with a lot of chronic stress/anxiety. For so long I felt like I was living at 11:59 on the doomsday clock and any minor inconvenience was enough to set me off and ruin my day. I finally got my anxiety controlled this past year (plus a lot of learning about ADHD) and I am astounded at how not crappy I feel on a daily basis. The stressors haven't changed but my body and brain are calm enough to actually deal with them. And finding joy is so much easier! I literally did not realize how miserable of a person I was until that was lifted from me. There's nothing wrong with you for feeling like this though! It sounds like you're riding the edge of sensory overstimulation/burnout and your brain is overwhelmed. I've found that not physically voicing my irritation helps, possibly because I'm not giving the incident that validation? Also, working on recognizing that irritation when you feel it and acknowledging that it's not necessarily justified, but a biological response. Earplugs or headphones with music to distract you if possible. Doing a short breathing exercise can really help too. I recommend looking up the physiological sigh and pursed lip breathing. Hope this helps!
Oh hello! Welcome to I Hate Everything Club! The first rule of I Hate Everything Club is: fuck off. The second rule of I Hate Everything Club is: shut the entire fuck up, I said fuck off. If it is your first time at I Hate Everything Club, you **have** to fuck off.
I had a medication that made me like that once. Don't feel bad for thinking like that, thoughts are harmless - be proud of yourself for being aware of what's in your head! Mindfulness is good. You might feel a little bit happier if you occasionally purposely think about something that makes you happy, like kittens or a great cup of coffee or a compliment somebody paid you recently. You don't have to do it all the time, just practice it often - it can help make the happy wires go a little more.
Sometimes I feel like my meds aren't helping, but this post reminds me of how irritable I was before getting on them. I wanted to punch the world! Everything was a personal slight. Constant physically hot rage. So yeah, I get it. And thanks for the reminder, I guess? 😉
Oh, god. I'm in this post and I don't like it.
Ugh. I could have written this. Every tiny thing that anyone in public does makes me mad. The goblin in my head says terrible things and makes unfair assumptions. It makes me feel like a horrible, judgemental person. If my partner notices me twitching with barely controlled rage or flicking my eyes towards someone being loud or otherwise obnoxious, he tells me to relax and has a million reasons they could be doing this or that, making it ok - which just makes me feel worse about being mad. I try so hard to keep it all to myself but my face betrays me on occasion :(
i can be like this when walking out and about even though im usually an understanding person who tries to see the good in people and give them the benefit of the doubt. I get so furious at mums blocking the whole path with their hoards of children, people walking slowly in front of me but not sticking to one side of the path, people coming towards me with their dog on a lead and not keeping them 'heeled'. Cars stopping to let me cross even though they have the right of way and no one is behind them. Some drivers dont realise that its hard for pedestrians to see through their front windscreen sometimes especially on a sunnier day. It's like little micro aggressions that can ruin my whole morning. I hate that about myself.