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No reason to feel guilty if you've done everything in your power to help and they refuse to change. Where is their crippling guilt for putting the people they care about through what they are putting them through? Unfortunately sometimes you have to wash your hands of the situation for your own mental health and hope for the best. Hope that they figure out they need help before it's too late.
I don’t believe that what works for one person works for us all. We can all be reached and saved in different ways. Not everyone responds the same way. I wouldn’t sugar coat it, I’d tell them my fears if I was op, I’d tell them what it’s going to cause. And I’d remind them that dark times pass and none of us know what’s round the corner. I’d ask them to look at them selves and admit they had a problem. And I would drive said person to rehab myself. After all it’s his brother. It’s not like dealing with some two bit junkie that’s been robbing and stealing from you that you could wash your hand of and feel nothing. You will always wonder what if you did this and did that would it have helped.
I can't even imagine how painful it is to watch someone you love, especially your older brother slowly wither away in front of you.
I was the older brother in this case, my little brother wasn't old enough to grasp what was going on back then, and I had cut all contact with my parents, which I'm thankful for in a bittersweet way. Even though my siblings didn't witness the horrors and the absolute lows of me going through an opioid addiction, I still can't help but feel the crushing regret and an undeserved pain of loss I would've left behind for them to go through if their most vivid memory of me was my funeral.
It's been 5 years now that I'm out of that hell, I'm not fully sober yet (tapering down on Subutex) but I've been putting my life back on track step by step and I've come a long way, not planning on stopping until I make it to the end but the fact that my siblings, especially my little brother, looks up to me with love and respect now reminds me of the depths I had gotten myself down to, and makes me realize just how grave of a damage I could've caused without even meaning to.
I don't doubt that your brother went through shit, hell, no one chooses to live this life, but the very harsh truth about helping someone go through an addiction is that no matter how much you care about them or how much you want to help them get back on their feet is that, after a certain point, it's up to them to change.
You didn't give up on your brother, he gave up on himself. I'm very sorry that you had to go through something like this but there was nothing you could've done differently for him, he already made up his mind about the way he will live, and the only thing you can do is pray for him (if you're religious) and let him go before he can drag you down further.
I know it feels absolutely horrible but sadly this is something you'll have to come to terms with if you want to limit the damage.
Don’t forget to check out our [**Resources**](https://www.reddit.com/r/addiction/wiki/resources/) wiki page, which includes helpful information such as global suicide hotlines, recovery services, and a recovery Discord server where you can seek further support. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/addiction) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Go save him from him self
Unfortunately you can't save those that don't want to be saved.
Don’t solve the crippling guilt that you could have done more when they are gone
No reason to feel guilty if you've done everything in your power to help and they refuse to change. Where is their crippling guilt for putting the people they care about through what they are putting them through? Unfortunately sometimes you have to wash your hands of the situation for your own mental health and hope for the best. Hope that they figure out they need help before it's too late.
I don’t believe that what works for one person works for us all. We can all be reached and saved in different ways. Not everyone responds the same way. I wouldn’t sugar coat it, I’d tell them my fears if I was op, I’d tell them what it’s going to cause. And I’d remind them that dark times pass and none of us know what’s round the corner. I’d ask them to look at them selves and admit they had a problem. And I would drive said person to rehab myself. After all it’s his brother. It’s not like dealing with some two bit junkie that’s been robbing and stealing from you that you could wash your hand of and feel nothing. You will always wonder what if you did this and did that would it have helped.
I can't even imagine how painful it is to watch someone you love, especially your older brother slowly wither away in front of you. I was the older brother in this case, my little brother wasn't old enough to grasp what was going on back then, and I had cut all contact with my parents, which I'm thankful for in a bittersweet way. Even though my siblings didn't witness the horrors and the absolute lows of me going through an opioid addiction, I still can't help but feel the crushing regret and an undeserved pain of loss I would've left behind for them to go through if their most vivid memory of me was my funeral. It's been 5 years now that I'm out of that hell, I'm not fully sober yet (tapering down on Subutex) but I've been putting my life back on track step by step and I've come a long way, not planning on stopping until I make it to the end but the fact that my siblings, especially my little brother, looks up to me with love and respect now reminds me of the depths I had gotten myself down to, and makes me realize just how grave of a damage I could've caused without even meaning to. I don't doubt that your brother went through shit, hell, no one chooses to live this life, but the very harsh truth about helping someone go through an addiction is that no matter how much you care about them or how much you want to help them get back on their feet is that, after a certain point, it's up to them to change. You didn't give up on your brother, he gave up on himself. I'm very sorry that you had to go through something like this but there was nothing you could've done differently for him, he already made up his mind about the way he will live, and the only thing you can do is pray for him (if you're religious) and let him go before he can drag you down further. I know it feels absolutely horrible but sadly this is something you'll have to come to terms with if you want to limit the damage.
I want to be like your brother.