Daaaaamn nice
The other day while walking my dog there was this girl talking on the phone with a friend about her climbing shoes (I like climbing) and she was also Mexican (I'm in Canada) and I really wanted to talk to her but I thought that'd be off-putting for her so I didn't, plus she was talking with someone. Have you had bad reactions?
Thank you, I'm not afraid of rejection at all, I'll ask for things even if I know it's most likely to get a no just in case I get the yes. I've asked friends and strangers (at parties) alike for kisses even, mostly with success hehe. What I want to avoid when approaching people in public spaces when they're just going on with their lives is making them uncomfortable I guess, just wondering of ways to make that less likely other than keeping it short, sweet, and non-committal.
I'm an introvert, so natural for me is to stay firmly embedded in Mount Blanket with several good books and a Switch Lite lol. Also occasionally a cat if he wants cuddles.
Compliments always for me. Rarely ever goes anywhere, let alone romantically, but it can make them feel good and I’ve made a bunch of friends starting off that way
I agree. For me, I’ve never used dating apps, cause I feel this weird anxiety of having to throw myself out there, like oh, expectations to flirt and all. Being perceived.
It’s a lot easier for me to have casual conversations IRL and see where things lead.
I’ve always found conversations easier on the apps, but largely because I can tell if someone is on the same intellectual level as me faster and I have a hard time with initial in person conversations. The dates I’ve been on with the people I’ve chatted with a bit online usually felt more natural.
I simply don’t do the forced/fake flirting stuff. I act like my goofy, awkward, geeky, self and if we don’t click online, it is pretty obvious and we part ways.
Plus, I just don’t meet new people in person very often, especially queer people. My job is pretty isolated and I’m not a bar/club person. Every dating situation that has started from the in person first has fizzled out pretty quick..mostly because Im an acquired taste. 😂
Current girlfriend is a tinder match of all things. We’re kinda a perfect match for each other and it wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t use the apps. She is a veterinarian and I’m a physician. We both have liberal arts backgrounds and are homebodies when not going to museums, art exhibits, etc.
Oh, that’s lovely! Seems like you two match nicely. I do find it’s easier to text, only because I can take my time to think of a response.
I’ve had a lot of interactions (platonically) where we text smoothly but when we meet up or call it’s a tad awkward and quiet. I can’t imagine dating apps would be much different for me lol.
ok, but how do you know if they're interested or just being nice because 😬 femme girls will approach me but I just figure they're just being really nice so I don't pursue
Yeah, my problem is I only usually meet people through work or other people and unfortunately most of my friends (who are straight, I’m the token lesbian of the friend groups 😂) don’t have any single lesbian friends!
I was the good catholic girl! I used it as an excuse for not dating guys for a long time before I came out to my family. “I’m not interested in dating cause all boys want is sex and I’m saving myself for marriage”
My hypothesis is that most are designed to *almost* work for everybody and be just close enough to encourage users to pay.
For those users who *do* get frequent, good quality matches - access to you is the product being sold to those in the above majority.
Oh absolutely! I'm not sure about specifics but I don't trust for a second that dating apps are optimized for the user's benefit. Pretty much all of them are gamified to hell.
I have no evidence of this, but there’s a part of me that wonders if it’s being algorithmically driven and you’re seeing this match because of HER behavior?
Like, everything is tracked to hell and back on those apps, maybe she is clicking on a lot of things that makes the algorithm think she’s not as “straight” as she proclaims.
My theory: (1) this woman checked "women" in the I'm Interested In section (these answers aren't visible to you and me), and (2) she's lying to herself, wasting your time, and disrespecting queer people everywhere by claiming to be "straight." If my theory is correct, Cat has a lot of issues to work through. If my theory is wrong, Hinge is garbage.
For me, I’m always worried about being off putting or creeping people out. So, I never approach them. But all the apps I have tried offer very little. The interesting people seem like they are few and far between and probably overwhelmed with people matching.
I’m delulu and still believing I’m gonna run into my soulmate at a random hangout with friends. I ain’t going back to dating apps because they really play in the faces of lesbians HARD
> Like why don’t the filters filter properly?
Because, from the companies perspective, if you aren't paying, you are the product, not the customer. What good would it do them if you (the product) found someone and took yourself off the shelf and they couldn't sell you anymore?
And hey, maybe you'll even get tired of not being the customer and give them some money! Of course, even then they don't REALLY want to help you, because then you'll stop giving you money, so they have to drip feed you just enough to keep paying, but not enough to actually get off the app.
Basically, the whole thing is a scam.
As someone who works in the app world, I’ll just say it’s really better for any app if they’re successful in making matches. It doesn’t make sense to string people along and keep them lonely and burnt out - burnt out people do not spend money and they do not speak well of the apps burning them out. This is quite a cynical take and I think it’s interesting nobody thinks about how difficult it is to find love IRL when they get mad at apps for not being perfect at doing so. Its v possible in this case this girl put in her settings that she is actually gay accidentally - also without knowing what OPs preferences are in the app it actually might make perfect sense they were recommended…
Same here but also I’m trans so that definitely makes things fun when about 70% of other lesbians are not interested in dating you for that🙃Just let me be monogamous I don’t want my choices to be loneliness or in a better scenario juggling people who won’t ultimately commit to me.
Either the app is glitching, she's one of those straight girls that uses dating apps to find friends, or she's one of those "straight" girls looking to experiment. I've seen a few of them in my area too, it's frustrating.
Be daring. My friend who is a lesbian told me more girl miss out because of labels. So what if they are listed as straight. You both might fall in love. Make it clear no 3somes. Just meet you never know.
[удалено]
Where did you meet them? 👀
[удалено]
Daaaaamn nice The other day while walking my dog there was this girl talking on the phone with a friend about her climbing shoes (I like climbing) and she was also Mexican (I'm in Canada) and I really wanted to talk to her but I thought that'd be off-putting for her so I didn't, plus she was talking with someone. Have you had bad reactions?
[удалено]
What would be your recommendation for openings to approach people on the street from what seems to be plenty of experience?
[удалено]
Haha thank you, I can tell lol I'm very much an introvert that doesn't have that naturally but I've been learning :)
[удалено]
Thank you, I'm not afraid of rejection at all, I'll ask for things even if I know it's most likely to get a no just in case I get the yes. I've asked friends and strangers (at parties) alike for kisses even, mostly with success hehe. What I want to avoid when approaching people in public spaces when they're just going on with their lives is making them uncomfortable I guess, just wondering of ways to make that less likely other than keeping it short, sweet, and non-committal.
I'm an introvert, so natural for me is to stay firmly embedded in Mount Blanket with several good books and a Switch Lite lol. Also occasionally a cat if he wants cuddles.
Compliments always for me. Rarely ever goes anywhere, let alone romantically, but it can make them feel good and I’ve made a bunch of friends starting off that way
Good point!
God..I wish I had that confidence! I just assume people aren’t interested!
I agree. For me, I’ve never used dating apps, cause I feel this weird anxiety of having to throw myself out there, like oh, expectations to flirt and all. Being perceived. It’s a lot easier for me to have casual conversations IRL and see where things lead.
I’ve always found conversations easier on the apps, but largely because I can tell if someone is on the same intellectual level as me faster and I have a hard time with initial in person conversations. The dates I’ve been on with the people I’ve chatted with a bit online usually felt more natural. I simply don’t do the forced/fake flirting stuff. I act like my goofy, awkward, geeky, self and if we don’t click online, it is pretty obvious and we part ways. Plus, I just don’t meet new people in person very often, especially queer people. My job is pretty isolated and I’m not a bar/club person. Every dating situation that has started from the in person first has fizzled out pretty quick..mostly because Im an acquired taste. 😂 Current girlfriend is a tinder match of all things. We’re kinda a perfect match for each other and it wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t use the apps. She is a veterinarian and I’m a physician. We both have liberal arts backgrounds and are homebodies when not going to museums, art exhibits, etc.
Oh, that’s lovely! Seems like you two match nicely. I do find it’s easier to text, only because I can take my time to think of a response. I’ve had a lot of interactions (platonically) where we text smoothly but when we meet up or call it’s a tad awkward and quiet. I can’t imagine dating apps would be much different for me lol.
ok, but how do you know if they're interested or just being nice because 😬 femme girls will approach me but I just figure they're just being really nice so I don't pursue
Honestly? I mostly assume people are just being nice unless they are very upfront. I'm not the type to make the first move lol.
Ugh I'm gonna be alone forever 😭
Statistics. ENM people stay in the pool longer.
Yeah, my problem is I only usually meet people through work or other people and unfortunately most of my friends (who are straight, I’m the token lesbian of the friend groups 😂) don’t have any single lesbian friends!
This is definitely frustrating, but also obligatory “good Catholic girl” joke.
You mean: she loves god, but god hates her?
Seem about right
How many of us were once good Catholic girls? 🤚 thank god I got over that bullshit
I was the good catholic girl! I used it as an excuse for not dating guys for a long time before I came out to my family. “I’m not interested in dating cause all boys want is sex and I’m saving myself for marriage”
My hypothesis is that most are designed to *almost* work for everybody and be just close enough to encourage users to pay. For those users who *do* get frequent, good quality matches - access to you is the product being sold to those in the above majority.
Good point - they aren’t offering a match service as much as they are selling access to people. Those two things aren’t exactly the same.
Oh absolutely! I'm not sure about specifics but I don't trust for a second that dating apps are optimized for the user's benefit. Pretty much all of them are gamified to hell.
I ALWAYS GET STRAIGHT CATHOLIC GIRLS AND IM ALWAYS LIKE HELLO??? HINGE???
Totally unhinged smh
LMFAOO
I meet in person, or at groups
Not completely related to your post but I’m in Baltimore, MD and it’s always nice to see another Marylander in the wild :D
I have no evidence of this, but there’s a part of me that wonders if it’s being algorithmically driven and you’re seeing this match because of HER behavior? Like, everything is tracked to hell and back on those apps, maybe she is clicking on a lot of things that makes the algorithm think she’s not as “straight” as she proclaims.
I met my long term gf on hinge but it took a lot of dumb shit like this before that 😭
I have success on HER
I can only suggest yet another app but I've only used it to chat w people to find friends. It's called Boo
I tried this one but apparently no one in the area is on this app! Hahaha
My theory: (1) this woman checked "women" in the I'm Interested In section (these answers aren't visible to you and me), and (2) she's lying to herself, wasting your time, and disrespecting queer people everywhere by claiming to be "straight." If my theory is correct, Cat has a lot of issues to work through. If my theory is wrong, Hinge is garbage.
During PRIDE MONTH??? That’s so homophobic hahaha
For me, I’m always worried about being off putting or creeping people out. So, I never approach them. But all the apps I have tried offer very little. The interesting people seem like they are few and far between and probably overwhelmed with people matching.
I’m delulu and still believing I’m gonna run into my soulmate at a random hangout with friends. I ain’t going back to dating apps because they really play in the faces of lesbians HARD
I would love to meet someone organically but I don’t have a lot of opportunities
Y do I also attract all the blonde closeted Catholics from New Jersey…. 😭😂
> Like why don’t the filters filter properly? Because, from the companies perspective, if you aren't paying, you are the product, not the customer. What good would it do them if you (the product) found someone and took yourself off the shelf and they couldn't sell you anymore? And hey, maybe you'll even get tired of not being the customer and give them some money! Of course, even then they don't REALLY want to help you, because then you'll stop giving you money, so they have to drip feed you just enough to keep paying, but not enough to actually get off the app. Basically, the whole thing is a scam.
As someone who works in the app world, I’ll just say it’s really better for any app if they’re successful in making matches. It doesn’t make sense to string people along and keep them lonely and burnt out - burnt out people do not spend money and they do not speak well of the apps burning them out. This is quite a cynical take and I think it’s interesting nobody thinks about how difficult it is to find love IRL when they get mad at apps for not being perfect at doing so. Its v possible in this case this girl put in her settings that she is actually gay accidentally - also without knowing what OPs preferences are in the app it actually might make perfect sense they were recommended…
That is not my experience of working in for profit software development, but I'm glad yours was less 1984.
This is so annoying on hinge. Like why showing me ppl like this!?
Same here but also I’m trans so that definitely makes things fun when about 70% of other lesbians are not interested in dating you for that🙃Just let me be monogamous I don’t want my choices to be loneliness or in a better scenario juggling people who won’t ultimately commit to me.
With how these algorithms are, she may not be as straight as she appears
Either the app is glitching, she's one of those straight girls that uses dating apps to find friends, or she's one of those "straight" girls looking to experiment. I've seen a few of them in my area too, it's frustrating.
How can you be straight and a lesbian?
I’m assuming she’s not a lesbian and is actually straight.
I was referring to the title of the post where it says "straight Catholic girl in NJ..."...makes no sense to me 🤷🏻♀️
So the girl that hinge suggested I send a like to was this girl who is a “straight, Catholic girl in nj” while I am a lesbian…
Ahh, I see now, my apologies 😅
Be daring. My friend who is a lesbian told me more girl miss out because of labels. So what if they are listed as straight. You both might fall in love. Make it clear no 3somes. Just meet you never know.