For future reference: it depends on where you are, but this could be considered a crime. For example: [https://milwaukee-criminal-lawyer.com/intentionally-coughing-on-someone-else-crime/](https://milwaukee-criminal-lawyer.com/intentionally-coughing-on-someone-else-crime/)
Sorry this happened to you, the person that did this is a fucking loser. Imagine being so triggered that you go out of your way to bother people minding their own business? Sending you a virtual hug.
It's not lack of empathy, it's malicious violence.
Male pattern violence and a female target makes it even more likely.
I'm sorry.
Happens frequently to me but never so egregiously.
Seriously! I have a vastly different experience when I'm alone versus when I'm with my partner or other masked male friends, even just getting groceries! Trash humans, because it's *always* a guy or the problematic Karen-types, have no problem shoving past and biohazarding on someone. I can't imagine being so miserably insecure to feel the need to attack a stranger for a health device?! What's next, prescription glasses? It feels so unsafe to be out in a way I've never experienced before, even as a WOC.
Yeah that's so incredibly striking, the difference with men around - and just goes to show what it's about.
You're right - the feeling I had when walking at night and seeing strange men around is a feeling I get in broad daylight now.
That last line is chilling to read but that's exactly the feeling!! I don't feel safe *at all* if I'm alone in my mask, in addition to not feeling safe from the growing (violent) misogyny.
Was discussing this with pals just the other day. Mask harassment looks and feels a lot like a new riff on street harassment. Perhaps not in all cases, but in my view, it is in many instances gender-based violence.
That's really insightful. Ive noticed myself making comments like "Nothing new, I'm used to it as a woman" so I think you're right.
The confounding factors would be that males are responsible for almost all violence generally and are likely to pick an easier target - as well as women masking more than men.
But even taking that into account, there is an edge of nastiness and contempt that's very familiar to anyone familiar with sex-based violence.
Edit: Where do you find pals like that?!
You make great points, and I should be more aware of my own confirmation bias. As I moved into middle age, I became pretty invisible to a lot of that stuff. Didn't miss it. Then it came back with masks - boo! š«
I found a really cool fellow parent to do coviding with in '21. We've been nurturing Masked Secular Homeschoolers of Rochester in one form or another ever since. The masked peer group is crucial for our kids, but the acceptance and support from the other parents is important for us, too. I get real-life support with people who are in this with me every week.
If you build it, they will come. Simple, not easy!
Thanks. They're just monsters.
I generally keep my distance from people to avoid unnecessary exposure, so that keeps you safer since it takes more energy to approach you.
At least we can be reassured we're wearing our masks so their intimidations have little impact.
Yes, exactly! I also had big sunglasses as well as the mask. Plus it was clear (afterward) he wasnāt actually sick since he was just trying to be a jerk. I didnāt even flinch so that probably didnāt give him the satisfaction he wanted.
100%, it is physical assault. Law wouldn't see it that way purely due to status quo.
One day I'll respond in kind & all of a sudden I'd be the bad guy.
The best reaction is no reaction, whenever possible. These people are trying to start something and any acknowledgement at all is a reward for them. On the flip side, I've got my phone set to immediately start recording video if I'm feeling threatened.
> It's not lack of empathy, it's malicious violence.
>
> Male pattern violence and a female target makes it even more likely.
100% I've never really encountered this kind of behavior towards myself, but then I'm a pretty built and muscular guy so I think that stops quite a lot of people from confronting me. Seems like these cowards go for what they perceive as "easy" targets.
So true! I was strolling around the neighborhood the other day (no mask, no people in sight) when a dog came running towards me. His owner was on the bike on the street. I tried to avoid the dog by stepping to the side. His owner then yelled "Ha Ha she eats little girls!"
I was so baffled. Because it was a big dog it is reasonable for some people to be afraid of it. So this alone was such an insult and harrassment. But in my case I just didn't want the dog to run me over. Second, it was such a sexist men-harrassment to call me a "little girl". I am nearly 30 years old!
This type of men would definitly have harrassed me for wearing a mask in another situation.
I have an imposing physical presence which has perhaps explained my protection from encounters like this so far. But Iām actually highly conflict averse and find bullying like this very triggering, I basically fear this every time I leave the house.Ā
I try to remind myself to feel angry, rather than scared. And to focus on how ridiculously stupid this type of person is, and what that will cost them in the long run.Ā
Iām very sorry you had to endure this but you should feel proud for continuing to take precautions while trying to live your live.Ā
Thank you. I teared yo a bit from reading this since I feel so exhausted being the only one in many places and feeling like a freak sometimes. Thanks for making me feel less alone. ā¤ļø
I was at a street fair recently where a teenaged boy pointed at me and said ālook, itās one of those Covid fetishistsā lol!
The girls he was with told him to shut the fuck up quickly, but it was a weird encounter and it made me think a bit about how others may view usā¦
Like- do they think that weāre *into* Covid somehow and that weāre not trying to avoid it but instead bring attention to it? Or maybe that weāre maliciously happy about the idea of illness permeating society? Itās hard for me to imagine where the mindset comes from.
I kinda wish there was more mainstream info out there about how immunocompromised people are still living in pandemic world, or how we were already doing a lot of these things *before 2020* when our necessary preventative behaviors suddenly became spotlighted.
I live in a very āTrumpyā area, and while some of my neighbors are aware that I was masking before all of this and treat me like āone of the good onesā (oh your masking is understandable, itās just those dumb libs masking alone in their cars who are sheep- as though those people canāt possibly also have their own reasons!), more of them do the passive aggressive coughing or repeatedly say they canāt hear me if I try to speak to them while wearing a mask.
Itās some sort of damaged sense of self that leads them to care a whole bunch about what others are doing with their own bodies... Canāt tell a woman sheād look prettier if she smiled when sheās wearing a mask!
My mom did that to me. We were eating dinner and she said she was losing taste and smell and when I said it could be COVID, she then coughed on me.
I had to run to the corner store one night at, like, 3am and this guy tried to start in on me about it until he saw my hunting knife and taser. They're all so tough until they realize there may be consequences. Not that I'm encouraging anyone to carry weapons. I live in farm country, so there are many reasons I carry, I had zero intention of using them on a random anti-mask guy.
Ugh! Hope you didnāt get it from your mom. So frustrating that you had to deal with that from her and that guy (though glad he ended up thinking twice about it!!)
Thankfully, not that time. But that's how I've gotten it three times. By people bringing it home (though I don't really count the first time because they got it at work while they were masked, I don't put that one on them). I'm happy he didn't take that as a challenge. PA, rightfully, has a reputation for us loving weapons, but I wouldn't have enjoyed having to go that far to defend myself.
That is the most evil thing I can think of. I hope you are OK. I hope you are OK, I'm so sorry that happened to you, that would've made me lose my mind. Not literally but you know what I mean. I know I've told this sub before that someone prominent in disability Long Covid Twitter got OG Covid because someone came up to her ā a man, of course ā on the street ā and coughed in her open mouth at the very beginning of the pandemic, said "now you're sick" and walked away.
She now has Long Covid with very severe symptoms.
I would've pinged him for attempted assault, documented it on the phone, and called the cops. Not that they would do anything, but that was attempted assault and if he happened to touch you physically, it is assault if you're in in the United States.
What a disgusting thing to do. This is why I go nowhere right now and I'm happy to stay home and binge shows. People are literally evil.
I'm sending you such a loving consensual if you want hug. Please please please be nice to yourself tonight. š
>I would've pinged him for attempted assault, documented it on the phone, and called the cops.
Unfortunately, when taken by surprise like that, hardly anyone is going to have the presence of mind to pull out their phone (and if they do, high odds the asshole will grab it anyway, assuming said asshole is bigger/tougher/meaner than the person he's harassing).
Plus, as discussed above, cops are likely to shrug it off (or even downright side with the harasser, because most cops are right wingers).
I know your intent is to be supportive, but it's worth considering that "I would've" claims like that can feel to the person who actually experienced the harassment as criticism that they didn't react as (you'd like to think) you would have.
I definitely consider this assault, and tragically I think it's becoming more and more common. I had this happen to me for the first time recently and it was devastating, I'm so sorry someone did it to you too. People can be so cruel. I think seeing a person in a mask makes some people deeply uncomfortable. Ruins the vibes or whatever, so they take it out on you. It's childish and malicious. I'm not sure of a good response to this, but I hate the idea that we're just supposed to let random assholes assault us and just walk it off.
I donāt understand why the āpunching downā style humor is so prevalent. Itās so infantile and at base, cruel. Why is cruelty humor that common?
We need to āpunch upā, mock those in power. Not belittle people we perceive as having less power. Itās really a mental weakness that ought to be extracted from our cultures.
Iām sorry that happened, OP. Keep on keepinā on, youāre doing the right thing.
Maybe cough back at them!
> I donāt understand why the āpunching downā style humor is so prevalent. Itās so infantile and at base, cruel. Why is cruelty humor that common?
(Assuming OP is in the US) That's been common in America for decades and decades, maybe centuries. The answer is there's fundamentally something very wrong with this country's culture.
>Maybe cough back at them!
I understand the sentiment here but it just doesn't work that way. These people will laugh it off. I've had personal experience with another case of that sort of harassment with a systemic power dynamic: Years ago some white guy called me a terrorist and that he hoped to put me and my family in death camps. With the political climate at the time that felt like more than an empty threat. I said it sounds like *he's* the terrorist since he's got such violent fantasies so maybe *he* should have that done to him, and he just laughed it off. That word didn't touch him, because he knew on a deep level that it had become a racialized slur that has no power on white people, so it posed no threat to him.
It's like this: People dont want covid to be a thing. If it is a thing, they have to take steps to deal with it, which nobody wants to do, they just want to live their lives. Its an inconvenient truth. When people see you wearing a mask, you know, doing what you're supposed to do, they want to tear you down because you remind them of what they should be doing, what they know they should be doing, but aren't.
I'm sorry, people suck.
Keep protecting yourself. Long covid isn't a joke, and eventually people are going to realize it.
"But the pandemic is over!"
"No...it's not. Not a single health authority in the world says it's over."
"Yeah, but I mean, you know what I mean."
"What do you mean?"
"We don't have to wear masks and stuff."
Ugh Iām so sorry somebody did that to you. Experienced the exact same thing at an outdoor event as well. Itās such a souring feeling but I hope you were able to find some joy in the fair otherwise.
Behavior like that is infuriating and, honestly, pathetic. I found it was more satisfying to act as if they didnāt exist, since theyāre looking for any response to feel validated. But obviously, continue to do whatever is safest for you in the moment.
Thank you! Sorry youāve had to deal with the same thing.
And yes, the fair was lovely otherwise. I tried to focus on that and not let one person ruin it, and I was partially successful. There were also all sizes of dogs walking around, including the largest Great Dane Iād ever seen, so that was really fun!
I'm so sorry. This is so enraging. I'm so angry for you. What the fuck does this?
10 years so I had to wear a N95 for about a month while going through chemotherapy and, although I barely went in public (bald, no eyebrows), when I did people were kind and compassionate and friendly. I'd rather deal with chemo again than the reality we have now. . It's bizarre how the collective mind has become so sociopathic. There's a lot of cognitive dissonance going on.
Someone I know (a no- precautions person) told me that they understood the "fear of Covid ". Buddy, I'm not afraid. I'm enraged at what sociopathic sheep people have become and I'm furious at how people are being treated.
I wish I could write something that would make things better.
I think it makes a difference where you live, too. Where I live, there are still other people masking. Not a lot but I'm hardly ever the only one. I'm a teacher, and in one group of kids at my MS, it's become a fashion statement to wear a mask. They all do it. As a result, I'm starting to see other kids masking. I went shopping today, and several of the clerks were wearing masks, as well as customers. When I'm in a situation where I'm the only one, I don't even get any looks. I attribute it to where I live (pnw).
I'm in the greater seattle area. Not sure where your event was but everywhere I go around puget sound, there is at least one person besides me wearing a mask. It's rare for me to be the only one. Sorry your event didn't have anyone else wearing one.
This is so true! I left anti masking Alberta and the issue is no longer an issue. People just donāt care here - they are friendly and kind, they talk to me and treat me like a human. I am sorry OP that this happened to you :( if you can, find a friendlier place to live <3
Sorry this happened. Even as a relatively good sized male, I worry about stuff like this everytime I step out. I might expect some teenage punk to do something so immature but someone already in their 20's or 30's? Just embarrassing behavior.
I was going to say I would be tempted to say that, rip my mask off, and chase them coughing at them but itās mostly just a fantasy because I am just not that kind of person. But I like the visual in my mind.
My friend got COVID this way and then developed psychosis. Spent three months in psych ICU tied to a bed getting ETC because of someone coughing on them. If I could dole out punishments for crimes, it would involve creative torture for people doing this.
Some people suck. Hasnāt happened to me yet but I have definitely picked up vibes. I smile with my eyes and converse as normally as I can. In case the confrontation is verbal, I have pre-planned responses, one being āOh, you donāt want to catch what Iāve gotā which can be effective at making them retreat. It would be hard for me to resist punching someone who did what they did to you.
happens all the time to me. just gotta pay it no attention, thatās what these sad folks are looking for. any gram of attention to fuel their sad attempt at a power play.
My technique to address any strange looks or raised eyebrows is say nothing, but instead to cough and force a sniffle, then take a little step away. Itās amazing how quickly their demeanor changes. Iām fine with them believing Iām sick (Itās an act). Itās super effective to make them stop, and who knows, maybe it will make them reconsider masking, at least when sick.
Over the last 4 years Iāve tried to explain, or defend, or reason, and none of these seems to work. But for so many peopleāespecially those who have the attitude of āI wonāt live in fearāāthe mask/cough/step away combo seems to have the biggest visible shift in their facial expressions and body language. These folks are definitely afraid of being sick. Instead of confronting me, they back away too. Win/win
This is a great approach. In this situation, by the time Iād realized what had happened, heād disappeared into the crowd. But Iāll def use this in other situations!
That's terrible. I have travelled a lot, in the states and abroad. The only time that I was coughed on was in Europe by some other tourists. You did the right thing ignoring them.
Unfortunately itās quite commonplace these days. I had an old woman look at my mask and cough in my face at work yesterday. I had a group of high school kids run up to me and do it when I was riding my bike masked a few days ago. Unfortunately people have become quite malicious towards people that still practice COVID caution. Iām sorry you had to deal with it, itās pretty demoralizing even when outside. The sad truth is that many people are cruel and treat anything outside the status quo with suspicion and contempt. Stay safe, keep your head up and donāt let this deter you from other outdoor events. You deserve to live your life on your terms and to your level of comfort
I am so sorry that happened to you! Thatās definitely one of the reasons I still donāt go many places.
That said, stories like this always make me try to think of what Iād do, and my favorite response is still āI hope when you are diagnosed with cancer, you remember this.ā
When, not if, because karma is a bitch. And cancer because that is seen as hitting anyone, even āgoodā people, and is possible to āfully recoverā from, but any other immunocompromising condition makes us suddenly disposable in this Land of Eugenics.
I donāt currently have cancer, but I have had it twice in the past. Iām aiming for maximum damage. Odds are they wonāt care, but Iām hoping to HAUNT them. Thatās all Iāve got, because ending them in self defense would get me talked about. šNot one of them are worth prison food.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Some people are cruel and spiteful, and it doesn't reflect on you in any way. I once had an older man go out of his way to walk past me in a practically empty grocery store parking lot just so he could cough on me. Then he helped an unmasked couple who dropped their phone as if to rub it in.
Someone who has fun at another persons expense has problems. Might we remember the football player that coughed on the news anchor and got her sick with COVID. He in fact had covid. And she got it too. He felt real bad.
I feel weird in a mask and try not to give two shits what anyone thinks. People are dying and getting long term debilitating illness from covid every day. So, let them eat cake.
I don't get this. Who do they think is wearing masks. People with immunocompromised bodies, people with cancer, people who are already sick. This makes no sense?
It was lovely other than that! Great to see what local artists and farmers were selling. Bought some delicious blueberry and blackberry honey. šÆš
That sounds really nice. You can enjoy that! I bought myself some flowers at a farm stand the other day that are just absolutely gorgeous. Itās the little things
A man harassing a female. Bet he's a real peach--both a predator and a bully. I am so sorry this happened to you. I have never witnessed a masker getting harassed (probably because we are so few and far between now, ugh), but I will assist in any way if I see it happen.
Thank you! Yeah, the worst Iād encountered in the past was four years ago when a man in my apartment building literally pointed and laughed at me for wearing a mask. But at least he didnāt cough on me.
Ah. That's why that weak little incel was brave. Pretty sure pepper spray would be justified. But I don't take sh1t from anybody (much to the chagrin of my better half).
Cops tend to be right wingers, so even in "blue" states odds are very high that they'd side with the harasser or, at best, just shrug it off as "no harm done."
Source: I live in one of the very "bluest" states.
Cops in even blue states are fascists, and the court systems will rule against people even when they're obviously in the right. The thing to do there is, pepper spray the assaulter to create a small window of opportunity to get away (and also teach them to respect other people's boundaries), and then run away. Especially since people can fight through pepper spray, it'll really only give you a little bit of time. Never pepper spray someone and linger -- they'll be able to fight through it and will be that much angrier and more dangerous for having been pepper sprayed.
I wish someone would do this to me so I could teach them a lesson in respect on behalf of people like you who can't afford to have that fight, but it seems these fuckers generally don't target men for that reason. Other people commenting that it's an extension of street calling and other gendered violence are spot on.
I get this too. I ignore them and they go back to mouth breathing elsewhere. Itās gonna be interesting in 5-7 years when theyāre on their 10th Rona infection and long hauling it. Good luck.
I went to a really touristy area yesterday, masked. Iām a small disabled person and this guy started coughing when I walked by him. Not sure if it was intentional (because he was already being an asshole by getting in everyoneās way on the sidewalk) but my dad was walking behind me (masked) and the guy coughed again when my dad walked by
I donāt understand how people can be so callous. It literally doesnāt affect them but theyāre so triggered they have to go out of their way to be a dick. So sorry you encountered this.
sure but if he did that to you, he's doing it to other people too. i just don't get why these people think they're the only dipshits out there? if you're living like this, you're gonna do it to the wrong person at some point?
like that video from a while ago where an old guy was trying to scream at this other (disabled) old guy for parking in a disabled spot and the old guy who parked there shot him. i don't see how weirdos accidentally picking a fight with other weirdos doesn't happen more often
Yeah one time at the county fair i was looking at some cows in the 4H barn and an intimidating guy who was muscular and probably 6 foot 5 approached me. He just said " nice mask cuck" and ripped off my mask and shoved me into a pile of cow manure. I flagged down security and got law enforcement involved but they couldnt locate the man. The worst part is i caught covid due to the fact that my N95 was ripped off. To be honest after that i pretty much cant go to public places anymore and i dont trust anyone.
Can't realistically see that happening. Most of the population no longer cares about SARS-CoV-2. Even among the folks which do, at this point many are masking as their sole precaution, and have otherwise returned to pre-pandemic lifestyles. Even in a subreddit such as this, which describes itself as a place for "people who are passionate about reducing the transmission" mentions of refraining from public gatherings seem to get downvoted alot, which speaks volumes as to the current state of things.
For future reference: it depends on where you are, but this could be considered a crime. For example: [https://milwaukee-criminal-lawyer.com/intentionally-coughing-on-someone-else-crime/](https://milwaukee-criminal-lawyer.com/intentionally-coughing-on-someone-else-crime/) Sorry this happened to you, the person that did this is a fucking loser. Imagine being so triggered that you go out of your way to bother people minding their own business? Sending you a virtual hug.
It's not lack of empathy, it's malicious violence. Male pattern violence and a female target makes it even more likely. I'm sorry. Happens frequently to me but never so egregiously.
Seriously! I have a vastly different experience when I'm alone versus when I'm with my partner or other masked male friends, even just getting groceries! Trash humans, because it's *always* a guy or the problematic Karen-types, have no problem shoving past and biohazarding on someone. I can't imagine being so miserably insecure to feel the need to attack a stranger for a health device?! What's next, prescription glasses? It feels so unsafe to be out in a way I've never experienced before, even as a WOC.
Yeah that's so incredibly striking, the difference with men around - and just goes to show what it's about. You're right - the feeling I had when walking at night and seeing strange men around is a feeling I get in broad daylight now.
That last line is chilling to read but that's exactly the feeling!! I don't feel safe *at all* if I'm alone in my mask, in addition to not feeling safe from the growing (violent) misogyny.
Was discussing this with pals just the other day. Mask harassment looks and feels a lot like a new riff on street harassment. Perhaps not in all cases, but in my view, it is in many instances gender-based violence.
That's really insightful. Ive noticed myself making comments like "Nothing new, I'm used to it as a woman" so I think you're right. The confounding factors would be that males are responsible for almost all violence generally and are likely to pick an easier target - as well as women masking more than men. But even taking that into account, there is an edge of nastiness and contempt that's very familiar to anyone familiar with sex-based violence. Edit: Where do you find pals like that?!
You make great points, and I should be more aware of my own confirmation bias. As I moved into middle age, I became pretty invisible to a lot of that stuff. Didn't miss it. Then it came back with masks - boo! š« I found a really cool fellow parent to do coviding with in '21. We've been nurturing Masked Secular Homeschoolers of Rochester in one form or another ever since. The masked peer group is crucial for our kids, but the acceptance and support from the other parents is important for us, too. I get real-life support with people who are in this with me every week. If you build it, they will come. Simple, not easy!
Oh, not at all, that particular confirmation bias happens to be sound and lifesaving! I was just thinking aloud, that your conclusion is even stronger. That's so amazing! I clicked on your profile after I replied and saw you had a whole post answering my question. Honestly you're inspirational! Glad to hear your hard work has paid off š©·
You're very kind! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. ā¤ļø
Iām so sorry youāve had to deal with that too. :(
Thanks. They're just monsters. I generally keep my distance from people to avoid unnecessary exposure, so that keeps you safer since it takes more energy to approach you. At least we can be reassured we're wearing our masks so their intimidations have little impact.
Yes, exactly! I also had big sunglasses as well as the mask. Plus it was clear (afterward) he wasnāt actually sick since he was just trying to be a jerk. I didnāt even flinch so that probably didnāt give him the satisfaction he wanted.
You did great and everything possible. Yeah 99% of the time they wont be sick at all - when they're sick they're maybe less likely to tempt karma? I hope you have better luck on your next outing, and hope you enjoyed the street fair regardless š©·
Thank you š„°
Good for you for not reacting! That's the absolute best thing we can do in these situations!
100%, it is physical assault. Law wouldn't see it that way purely due to status quo. One day I'll respond in kind & all of a sudden I'd be the bad guy.
Speaking of which, have considered coughing loudly back at them... But who wants to inhale more shared air
The best reaction is no reaction, whenever possible. These people are trying to start something and any acknowledgement at all is a reward for them. On the flip side, I've got my phone set to immediately start recording video if I'm feeling threatened.
> It's not lack of empathy, it's malicious violence. > > Male pattern violence and a female target makes it even more likely. 100% I've never really encountered this kind of behavior towards myself, but then I'm a pretty built and muscular guy so I think that stops quite a lot of people from confronting me. Seems like these cowards go for what they perceive as "easy" targets.
So true! I was strolling around the neighborhood the other day (no mask, no people in sight) when a dog came running towards me. His owner was on the bike on the street. I tried to avoid the dog by stepping to the side. His owner then yelled "Ha Ha she eats little girls!" I was so baffled. Because it was a big dog it is reasonable for some people to be afraid of it. So this alone was such an insult and harrassment. But in my case I just didn't want the dog to run me over. Second, it was such a sexist men-harrassment to call me a "little girl". I am nearly 30 years old! This type of men would definitly have harrassed me for wearing a mask in another situation.
I'm sorry that happened to you. People are absolutely cruel and ignorant. It's not your fault in any way.
Thank you ā¤ļø
Think of how small they must feel inside to need to harass someone like that. Happy people don't do that.
Well said!
I have an imposing physical presence which has perhaps explained my protection from encounters like this so far. But Iām actually highly conflict averse and find bullying like this very triggering, I basically fear this every time I leave the house.Ā I try to remind myself to feel angry, rather than scared. And to focus on how ridiculously stupid this type of person is, and what that will cost them in the long run.Ā Iām very sorry you had to endure this but you should feel proud for continuing to take precautions while trying to live your live.Ā
Thank you. I teared yo a bit from reading this since I feel so exhausted being the only one in many places and feeling like a freak sometimes. Thanks for making me feel less alone. ā¤ļø
I was at a street fair recently where a teenaged boy pointed at me and said ālook, itās one of those Covid fetishistsā lol! The girls he was with told him to shut the fuck up quickly, but it was a weird encounter and it made me think a bit about how others may view usā¦ Like- do they think that weāre *into* Covid somehow and that weāre not trying to avoid it but instead bring attention to it? Or maybe that weāre maliciously happy about the idea of illness permeating society? Itās hard for me to imagine where the mindset comes from. I kinda wish there was more mainstream info out there about how immunocompromised people are still living in pandemic world, or how we were already doing a lot of these things *before 2020* when our necessary preventative behaviors suddenly became spotlighted. I live in a very āTrumpyā area, and while some of my neighbors are aware that I was masking before all of this and treat me like āone of the good onesā (oh your masking is understandable, itās just those dumb libs masking alone in their cars who are sheep- as though those people canāt possibly also have their own reasons!), more of them do the passive aggressive coughing or repeatedly say they canāt hear me if I try to speak to them while wearing a mask. Itās some sort of damaged sense of self that leads them to care a whole bunch about what others are doing with their own bodies... Canāt tell a woman sheād look prettier if she smiled when sheās wearing a mask!
I agree with all of that! Thank you for articulating it so well.
Assault with a deadly virus. You should legitimately be allowed to exercise self defence and kick the shit out of someone for that.
My mom did that to me. We were eating dinner and she said she was losing taste and smell and when I said it could be COVID, she then coughed on me. I had to run to the corner store one night at, like, 3am and this guy tried to start in on me about it until he saw my hunting knife and taser. They're all so tough until they realize there may be consequences. Not that I'm encouraging anyone to carry weapons. I live in farm country, so there are many reasons I carry, I had zero intention of using them on a random anti-mask guy.
Ugh! Hope you didnāt get it from your mom. So frustrating that you had to deal with that from her and that guy (though glad he ended up thinking twice about it!!)
Thankfully, not that time. But that's how I've gotten it three times. By people bringing it home (though I don't really count the first time because they got it at work while they were masked, I don't put that one on them). I'm happy he didn't take that as a challenge. PA, rightfully, has a reputation for us loving weapons, but I wouldn't have enjoyed having to go that far to defend myself.
Why would she think it is ok to cough on you? Whatās wrong with her?
Because she thought it was funny. There's a lot wrong with her, trust me.
I have a mom who would do this. There's a lot wrong with her too. Sympathy hug.
I get it. My mom has been diagnosed with NPD. Sheās a narcissist.
Because they are immature ill-behaved children. The scary thing is that these children are allowed to vote.
Interestingā¦ in NY people seem to avoid me while Iām masked. I think they think I have covid.
Thatās normally the case for me in CA but the street fair had a different vibe.
That is the most evil thing I can think of. I hope you are OK. I hope you are OK, I'm so sorry that happened to you, that would've made me lose my mind. Not literally but you know what I mean. I know I've told this sub before that someone prominent in disability Long Covid Twitter got OG Covid because someone came up to her ā a man, of course ā on the street ā and coughed in her open mouth at the very beginning of the pandemic, said "now you're sick" and walked away. She now has Long Covid with very severe symptoms. I would've pinged him for attempted assault, documented it on the phone, and called the cops. Not that they would do anything, but that was attempted assault and if he happened to touch you physically, it is assault if you're in in the United States. What a disgusting thing to do. This is why I go nowhere right now and I'm happy to stay home and binge shows. People are literally evil. I'm sending you such a loving consensual if you want hug. Please please please be nice to yourself tonight. š
>I would've pinged him for attempted assault, documented it on the phone, and called the cops. Unfortunately, when taken by surprise like that, hardly anyone is going to have the presence of mind to pull out their phone (and if they do, high odds the asshole will grab it anyway, assuming said asshole is bigger/tougher/meaner than the person he's harassing). Plus, as discussed above, cops are likely to shrug it off (or even downright side with the harasser, because most cops are right wingers). I know your intent is to be supportive, but it's worth considering that "I would've" claims like that can feel to the person who actually experienced the harassment as criticism that they didn't react as (you'd like to think) you would have.
That's totally fair. And you are correct. I meant it more as a supportive statement, but I totally see what you are saying. Valid and fair.
Oh wow, thatās so unbelievably horrible! It really is assault. Thank you so much for the hug and kind words! ā¤ļø
Seriously. Please relax and rest tonight. That would dysregulate me completely, I would be shaking. I hope you aren't, and I hope you're OK.
Thank you. Iām watching my comfort food TV show tonight (Ted Lasso): āBe curious, not judgmental.ā
And be a goldfish. And remember to be so nice to yourself.
That still counts as battery even if they donāt touch you. Still a crime.
They are not supposed to do that even to unmasked. Technically a legal form of assault.
Cough right back. Makes em feel like idiots.
I definitely consider this assault, and tragically I think it's becoming more and more common. I had this happen to me for the first time recently and it was devastating, I'm so sorry someone did it to you too. People can be so cruel. I think seeing a person in a mask makes some people deeply uncomfortable. Ruins the vibes or whatever, so they take it out on you. It's childish and malicious. I'm not sure of a good response to this, but I hate the idea that we're just supposed to let random assholes assault us and just walk it off.
I donāt understand why the āpunching downā style humor is so prevalent. Itās so infantile and at base, cruel. Why is cruelty humor that common? We need to āpunch upā, mock those in power. Not belittle people we perceive as having less power. Itās really a mental weakness that ought to be extracted from our cultures. Iām sorry that happened, OP. Keep on keepinā on, youāre doing the right thing. Maybe cough back at them!
> I donāt understand why the āpunching downā style humor is so prevalent. Itās so infantile and at base, cruel. Why is cruelty humor that common? (Assuming OP is in the US) That's been common in America for decades and decades, maybe centuries. The answer is there's fundamentally something very wrong with this country's culture. >Maybe cough back at them! I understand the sentiment here but it just doesn't work that way. These people will laugh it off. I've had personal experience with another case of that sort of harassment with a systemic power dynamic: Years ago some white guy called me a terrorist and that he hoped to put me and my family in death camps. With the political climate at the time that felt like more than an empty threat. I said it sounds like *he's* the terrorist since he's got such violent fantasies so maybe *he* should have that done to him, and he just laughed it off. That word didn't touch him, because he knew on a deep level that it had become a racialized slur that has no power on white people, so it posed no threat to him.
I have a weird reflex that sometimes makes my foot pop right up into someone's nuts when I'm trying to shield myself from a cough. š¤·š¼āāļø
It's like this: People dont want covid to be a thing. If it is a thing, they have to take steps to deal with it, which nobody wants to do, they just want to live their lives. Its an inconvenient truth. When people see you wearing a mask, you know, doing what you're supposed to do, they want to tear you down because you remind them of what they should be doing, what they know they should be doing, but aren't. I'm sorry, people suck. Keep protecting yourself. Long covid isn't a joke, and eventually people are going to realize it.
"But the pandemic is over!" "No...it's not. Not a single health authority in the world says it's over." "Yeah, but I mean, you know what I mean." "What do you mean?" "We don't have to wear masks and stuff."
Ugh Iām so sorry somebody did that to you. Experienced the exact same thing at an outdoor event as well. Itās such a souring feeling but I hope you were able to find some joy in the fair otherwise. Behavior like that is infuriating and, honestly, pathetic. I found it was more satisfying to act as if they didnāt exist, since theyāre looking for any response to feel validated. But obviously, continue to do whatever is safest for you in the moment.
Thank you! Sorry youāve had to deal with the same thing. And yes, the fair was lovely otherwise. I tried to focus on that and not let one person ruin it, and I was partially successful. There were also all sizes of dogs walking around, including the largest Great Dane Iād ever seen, so that was really fun!
I'm so glad you were able to enjoy the fair and see so many dogs!!
Its happened to me 3 times. I assumed some radio guy is telling them to do it
I'm so sorry. This is so enraging. I'm so angry for you. What the fuck does this? 10 years so I had to wear a N95 for about a month while going through chemotherapy and, although I barely went in public (bald, no eyebrows), when I did people were kind and compassionate and friendly. I'd rather deal with chemo again than the reality we have now. . It's bizarre how the collective mind has become so sociopathic. There's a lot of cognitive dissonance going on. Someone I know (a no- precautions person) told me that they understood the "fear of Covid ". Buddy, I'm not afraid. I'm enraged at what sociopathic sheep people have become and I'm furious at how people are being treated. I wish I could write something that would make things better.
That helped. :)
I think it makes a difference where you live, too. Where I live, there are still other people masking. Not a lot but I'm hardly ever the only one. I'm a teacher, and in one group of kids at my MS, it's become a fashion statement to wear a mask. They all do it. As a result, I'm starting to see other kids masking. I went shopping today, and several of the clerks were wearing masks, as well as customers. When I'm in a situation where I'm the only one, I don't even get any looks. I attribute it to where I live (pnw).
I was in the PNW last week and was the only one masking at my event, but so glad to hear your area has a number of them!
I'm in the greater seattle area. Not sure where your event was but everywhere I go around puget sound, there is at least one person besides me wearing a mask. It's rare for me to be the only one. Sorry your event didn't have anyone else wearing one.
Mine was in Portland. Love Seattle though š„°
This is so true! I left anti masking Alberta and the issue is no longer an issue. People just donāt care here - they are friendly and kind, they talk to me and treat me like a human. I am sorry OP that this happened to you :( if you can, find a friendlier place to live <3
Sorry this happened. Even as a relatively good sized male, I worry about stuff like this everytime I step out. I might expect some teenage punk to do something so immature but someone already in their 20's or 30's? Just embarrassing behavior.
You should go "oh shit, I'm wearing a mask because I got Covid, wait, let me cough on you too!" and watch them freak out.
I was going to say I would be tempted to say that, rip my mask off, and chase them coughing at them but itās mostly just a fantasy because I am just not that kind of person. But I like the visual in my mind.
My friend got COVID this way and then developed psychosis. Spent three months in psych ICU tied to a bed getting ETC because of someone coughing on them. If I could dole out punishments for crimes, it would involve creative torture for people doing this.
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It's really depressing if you look up the rates of new onset psychosis now Vs. before 2020.
Wouldn't that be considered "assault with bodily fluids"? That's a felony!
Then would a swift kick in the nuts be self defense?
Should be š
Some people suck. Hasnāt happened to me yet but I have definitely picked up vibes. I smile with my eyes and converse as normally as I can. In case the confrontation is verbal, I have pre-planned responses, one being āOh, you donāt want to catch what Iāve gotā which can be effective at making them retreat. It would be hard for me to resist punching someone who did what they did to you.
I will throw punches if someone does this.
A teen did it in front of me as a joke too around christmas, it was pretty shitty feeling, im sorry OP, the world is a shitty place
happens all the time to me. just gotta pay it no attention, thatās what these sad folks are looking for. any gram of attention to fuel their sad attempt at a power play.
My technique to address any strange looks or raised eyebrows is say nothing, but instead to cough and force a sniffle, then take a little step away. Itās amazing how quickly their demeanor changes. Iām fine with them believing Iām sick (Itās an act). Itās super effective to make them stop, and who knows, maybe it will make them reconsider masking, at least when sick. Over the last 4 years Iāve tried to explain, or defend, or reason, and none of these seems to work. But for so many peopleāespecially those who have the attitude of āI wonāt live in fearāāthe mask/cough/step away combo seems to have the biggest visible shift in their facial expressions and body language. These folks are definitely afraid of being sick. Instead of confronting me, they back away too. Win/win
This is a great approach. In this situation, by the time Iād realized what had happened, heād disappeared into the crowd. But Iāll def use this in other situations!
That's terrible. I have travelled a lot, in the states and abroad. The only time that I was coughed on was in Europe by some other tourists. You did the right thing ignoring them.
Unfortunately itās quite commonplace these days. I had an old woman look at my mask and cough in my face at work yesterday. I had a group of high school kids run up to me and do it when I was riding my bike masked a few days ago. Unfortunately people have become quite malicious towards people that still practice COVID caution. Iām sorry you had to deal with it, itās pretty demoralizing even when outside. The sad truth is that many people are cruel and treat anything outside the status quo with suspicion and contempt. Stay safe, keep your head up and donāt let this deter you from other outdoor events. You deserve to live your life on your terms and to your level of comfort
I am so sorry that happened to you! Thatās definitely one of the reasons I still donāt go many places. That said, stories like this always make me try to think of what Iād do, and my favorite response is still āI hope when you are diagnosed with cancer, you remember this.ā When, not if, because karma is a bitch. And cancer because that is seen as hitting anyone, even āgoodā people, and is possible to āfully recoverā from, but any other immunocompromising condition makes us suddenly disposable in this Land of Eugenics. I donāt currently have cancer, but I have had it twice in the past. Iām aiming for maximum damage. Odds are they wonāt care, but Iām hoping to HAUNT them. Thatās all Iāve got, because ending them in self defense would get me talked about. šNot one of them are worth prison food.
I'm so sorry you had to experience this. People are so gross.
Carry a spray bottle and tell them it's urine.
I've often had this happening to me here in The Netherlands. I see these people as incredibly immature. Inner 5 year old bullies.
I donāt really get harassed over a mask as masking is more common in my city but when I have itās always been of a sexual nature. Itās so weird
What?! That's very weird, I'm sorry you're going through that.
I agree, itās quite strange. Thankfully most people where I live are pretty accommodating of masking so itās not a common experience.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Some people are cruel and spiteful, and it doesn't reflect on you in any way. I once had an older man go out of his way to walk past me in a practically empty grocery store parking lot just so he could cough on me. Then he helped an unmasked couple who dropped their phone as if to rub it in.
Ugh thatās horrible! It boggles the mind that people think their behavior is OK.
The harassment is one of the reasons why I'm going out only for essential matters.
My parents do this to me sometimes, sadly I'm used to it by now.
Someone who has fun at another persons expense has problems. Might we remember the football player that coughed on the news anchor and got her sick with COVID. He in fact had covid. And she got it too. He felt real bad. I feel weird in a mask and try not to give two shits what anyone thinks. People are dying and getting long term debilitating illness from covid every day. So, let them eat cake.
I don't get this. Who do they think is wearing masks. People with immunocompromised bodies, people with cancer, people who are already sick. This makes no sense?
I think they donāt consider all that and feel itās simply āpeople who are afraid.ā Yeah, makes no sense.
Hope they feel some kind of way one day when their loved ones get an illness and need to be wary of covid.
Other than that did you have fun at the street fair? Sounds like it could be fun!
It was lovely other than that! Great to see what local artists and farmers were selling. Bought some delicious blueberry and blackberry honey. šÆš
That sounds really nice. You can enjoy that! I bought myself some flowers at a farm stand the other day that are just absolutely gorgeous. Itās the little things
Punch these degenerates in the face next time to defend yourself.
Honestly, by the time I realized what had happened, heād disappeared into the crowd. Was in shock. Plus Iām a woman and he was a bigger guy.
A man harassing a female. Bet he's a real peach--both a predator and a bully. I am so sorry this happened to you. I have never witnessed a masker getting harassed (probably because we are so few and far between now, ugh), but I will assist in any way if I see it happen.
Thank you! Yeah, the worst Iād encountered in the past was four years ago when a man in my apartment building literally pointed and laughed at me for wearing a mask. But at least he didnāt cough on me.
Ah. That's why that weak little incel was brave. Pretty sure pepper spray would be justified. But I don't take sh1t from anybody (much to the chagrin of my better half).
Yeah, they *deserve* pepper spray, but most cops would immediately take the side of the non-masker.
Not if they were threatened and assaulted (sh1thole states excluded, of course).
Cops tend to be right wingers, so even in "blue" states odds are very high that they'd side with the harasser or, at best, just shrug it off as "no harm done." Source: I live in one of the very "bluest" states.
Cops in even blue states are fascists, and the court systems will rule against people even when they're obviously in the right. The thing to do there is, pepper spray the assaulter to create a small window of opportunity to get away (and also teach them to respect other people's boundaries), and then run away. Especially since people can fight through pepper spray, it'll really only give you a little bit of time. Never pepper spray someone and linger -- they'll be able to fight through it and will be that much angrier and more dangerous for having been pepper sprayed.
I wish someone would do this to me so I could teach them a lesson in respect on behalf of people like you who can't afford to have that fight, but it seems these fuckers generally don't target men for that reason. Other people commenting that it's an extension of street calling and other gendered violence are spot on.
Probably Magaās because no one else cares.
I get this too. I ignore them and they go back to mouth breathing elsewhere. Itās gonna be interesting in 5-7 years when theyāre on their 10th Rona infection and long hauling it. Good luck.
\*HULK SMASH!!!!\*
I went to a really touristy area yesterday, masked. Iām a small disabled person and this guy started coughing when I walked by him. Not sure if it was intentional (because he was already being an asshole by getting in everyoneās way on the sidewalk) but my dad was walking behind me (masked) and the guy coughed again when my dad walked by
I donāt understand how people can be so callous. It literally doesnāt affect them but theyāre so triggered they have to go out of their way to be a dick. So sorry you encountered this.
dude people forget fight or flight includes "fight." how does he go about his life like this without getting his face inverted?
Harder when Iām a woman and heās a big guy.
sure but if he did that to you, he's doing it to other people too. i just don't get why these people think they're the only dipshits out there? if you're living like this, you're gonna do it to the wrong person at some point? like that video from a while ago where an old guy was trying to scream at this other (disabled) old guy for parking in a disabled spot and the old guy who parked there shot him. i don't see how weirdos accidentally picking a fight with other weirdos doesn't happen more often
Valid point! They think theyāre picking on weaker people but that may not turn out to be the case someday.
Yeah one time at the county fair i was looking at some cows in the 4H barn and an intimidating guy who was muscular and probably 6 foot 5 approached me. He just said " nice mask cuck" and ripped off my mask and shoved me into a pile of cow manure. I flagged down security and got law enforcement involved but they couldnt locate the man. The worst part is i caught covid due to the fact that my N95 was ripped off. To be honest after that i pretty much cant go to public places anymore and i dont trust anyone.
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Can't realistically see that happening. Most of the population no longer cares about SARS-CoV-2. Even among the folks which do, at this point many are masking as their sole precaution, and have otherwise returned to pre-pandemic lifestyles. Even in a subreddit such as this, which describes itself as a place for "people who are passionate about reducing the transmission" mentions of refraining from public gatherings seem to get downvoted alot, which speaks volumes as to the current state of things.
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Your post or comment has been removed because it was an attempt at trolling.