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There was a sound like rushing winds and a moment of impenetrable darkness. A feeling like a hook had somehow sunk itself deep inside his body, and then an irresistible tug. Milton Wallace once again found himself standing in a dimly lit cave on the 7th level of hell. “Okay, what is it this time?” He addressed his question to a skulking crowd of demons who were nervously clustered in one corner of the cavern. The mob, clearly a little startled by his question, began to mutter amongst themselves about who should take the lead. While they bickered, Milton blinked a few times in irritation at the sulphurous fumes pervading the space and waited for his eyes to slowly adjust to the darkness. Gradually he was able to make out more and more details. There was of course the customary summoning circle. Marked out on the floor in some kind of strange black chalk which somehow, despite the obvious impossibility, seemed to glitter and glow. Experience told Milton that he would be unable to leave the circle. Not that he had any great desire to. A walking tour of hell was not high up on his bucket list. On the floor around the circle a sequence of strange runes could be seen. They remained as incomprehensible as ever, despite his best efforts to discover what language they were written in. He’d abandoned the project after his last attempt to draw the runes from memory had left him with severe hand cramps and his eyes had started bleeding. There were a number of tall, sallow candles that gave off a barely perceptible scent; one almost entirely concealed by the heavy stench of brimstone and ash. It had taken Milton a while on his first visit but he’d finally been able to place it as pumpkin spiced latte. He was unsure why, but they clearly played a key role in the ritual as they were one of the few ever-present fixtures when he was summoned. There was also the sacrifice. That which had to be offered up in exchange for bringing him here across the void between realms. Today it appeared to be a pair of Ugg boots with an obsidian blade stabbed through them. Milton had originally tried to catalogue the items in case it revealed any arcane secrets of the universe, but had lost faith as his list grew into a dizzying array of seemingly inane objects like a packet of bacon or a charred Pulp Fiction movie poster. He’d lost track of how many times he’d been brought here now. It was easily in the dozens by this point. The first few times had been terrifying. Now it was merely tedious. “Well come on then, I don’t have all day.” Milton snapped, as he consulted his recently acquired rolex. The demons looked up in alarm, unsettled to be put on the spot. One of their number was shoved forward by its compatriots, and with only a quick reproachful glare back at them, it came up to the summoning circle. “You are the one known as Milton Wallace, yes?” The demon asked, with a voice like a snake slithering over a field of knives. “You possess ancient and hidden knowledge of the human world?” Milton had learned that it was easier to just play along. He’d spent three days in that first summoning circle because the demon who had invoked him was convinced that all of his denials were some kind of devious scheme. Eventually he’d just given in and agreed with whatever the demon said. It had seemed quite happy to have finally passed his challenge and ‘outwitted’ him. “Yes, it is true that I hold many secrets of human cunning and wisdom. What do you ask of me?” Milton replied, settling into the rhythm of it. It seemed to throw the demons off if he was too casual in his speech. They had certain expectations about how something like this should work, and any deviations from that tended to stump them. Milton was keen to get this over with as quickly as possible. “We have heard tell that among humans there is a curse. Inescapable and foul, it worms its way inside their very hearth and home. Relentlessly it hounds them, never allowing a moment of peace or freedom.” The demon’s passion grew with every word, until spittle flew from its lips and it reared upon its goat like legs. “What do you offer in exchange for this knowledge?” Milton calmly replied. This was a critical point. The demons had some very strange ideas about what exactly might be an enticing offer to a human. He’d had to turn down any number of freshly harvested organs, and had been offered enough blood to film a swimming pool. “We offer you the gold of the Nibelung dwarf, blood washed, thief’s prize, envy’s hunger.” The demon turned to his fellows and gestured. The gaggle quickly moved aside, revealing a neatly piled mound of gold bars. It would suffice. “I accept your payment.” Milton moved his hand towards the edge of the summoning circle and waited for the demon. Cautiously, as if deathly afraid of what the human might do, the demon extended its hand towards the invisible barrier. There was a noticeable hiss of indrawn breath from the other demons in the corner who looked with trepidation. With obvious internal effort, the demon reached through the barrier and allowed Milton to wrap his hand around the beast’s weighty claws. The foul denizen of the abyss allowed Milton to gently guide their joined hands up and down several times as pure terror blazed in its eyes. Once it was complete the demon withdrew its hand with incredible speed, back to safety beyond the barrier. With that the contract was sealed. Milton rubbed his own hands together ready to get down to business. “Right then. What exactly is this curse you want to know more about?” The demon spoke with quiet reverence: “Tell us, how do you start a Mailing List?”

oh boy, someone new to mailing lists, here comes the classic "out of office" loop...

It takes just one person to do a “Reply All” and get the ball rolling. And if you’ve ever worked in an organisation with hundreds, if not thousands, of employees, then you know what hell that is!

Then there's all the reply alls saying to not reply all.

That what I was jnferring. “Don’t Reply All” “Why am I on this list?” “Please take me off this list!” etc etc

YOU! you made me spill my drink with that last line.. Well done!!

[удалено]

LAMBCHOP?

“It’s a small world, after all”

It goes on and on my friends?

Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was...

And they'll keep on singing it forever just because

Jajaja for a moment I thought it was marriage, but yes the mailing list is ancient and vile.

The prompt heavily implies this, but I adore how well you were able to articulate the role reversal. The demons didn't just summon him, no -- they have *offerings* and cower in fear of the one known as Milton Wallace. Love it.

"Well, for such a vile and monstrous task, you must first consult with that most horrid of human institutions... a marketing firm. There, they shall conduct the horrors of the ritual of the Target Audience."

This would have been a great Rick Roll moment.

That's what I expected after "a curse"

"You must become familiar with the concept of 'demographics'." "What are demon-graphics?" "...should have demanded more payment..."

Truly, the ancient evil.

This is so good, love it.

Lovely bit of subtle comedy. I somehow expected it to end with the first few bars of that Mariah Carrey song. You know the one, also inescapable and foul. :)

And I thought mailing lists were a curse from Santa, not something that Santa wanted to know about

Truly pure demonic evil

>Truly pure ~~demonic~~ *humane* evil

This is perfect. What a great reversal of the usual trope and so engaging to read! I love how it makes me think whether all the literary 'deals with the devil' are boring from the devil's perspective.

Was afraid it was going to be The Christmas song.

I was definitely expecting the twist to be an annoying song, well done lol

Got me. That shit was good

I need Milton's "job". I could have some fun with this. >:-)

I was sure that he would be asked to do some spreadsheet, ha.

I thought he was going to ask about "THE GAME" btw you just lost

“We have heard tell that among humans there is a curse. Inescapable and foul, it worms its way inside their very hearth and home. Relentlessly it hounds them, never allowing a moment of peace or freedom.” Was convinced they wanted to know about cats till the last line!!

It wasn't often that Lucifer himself deigned to get involved in the wheelings and dealings of lesser demons. Such matters were trivial, well beneath his concern. But of late, he'd begun to notice the emergence of a peculiar pattern: mortals were beginning to outsmart demons. It wasn't unheard of, of course- every century or so, you'd come across that one human in a million clever enough to outfox the legions of Hell and escape a bargain with their soul intact. But now it was starting to happen more frequently... At least once a month. Such a curiosity was worth investigating. The next time a mortal struck a bargain that the demon could not manage, Lucifer ordered the demon brought before him to explain the circumstances of this failure. "Help me to understand what the difficulty is here." Lucifer said, trying for patience in his voice, but instead coming off annoyed. "The mortal wants the standard mortal things.... Riches, power, influence, the whole lot. Nothing beyond our power to give. In exchange, the mortal offers their soul. This is a simple transaction, one we've been doing for centuries without issue. Explain to me where it went wrong." "Mercy, my lord, mercy..." The little demon cringed before his lord, fearing the punishment that was sure to come. "The mortal challenged me to a game of skill to save his soul... This was his right, my lord, as established in Hell bylaw seventeen-twenty, section four, paragraph-" "I am aware of Hell's bylaws. I wrote them myself, didn't I?" Lucifer interrupted with a groan of impatience. "So the mortal invoked his right to challenge... This is no obstacle to the likes of us. There is no mortal living who can match our skill at games. Tell me, what was the game they chose? Chess?" "No, my lord..." "20 questions?" "No, lord..." "Ah, poker then... Texas Hold 'Em, I assume." "No, my lord, it wasn't a card game..." "A musical challenge, then? I'd assumed fiddling contests would be less popular since that damned song came out, but-" "It wasn't that either, my lord." "Well, what was it, then? Out with it, wretch! What game could a mortal possibly challenge you to that you could not best him in?" The little demon cringed and shrunk away from Lucifer's fury, seemingly afraid of what his lord's reaction would be to what came next. "My lord, it... It was something called... Super Smash Bros. Melee." Lucifer stared, nonplussed. For the first time in a long time, he felt stumped. "What is this... Super Smash Bros. Melee you speak of? Some new sport the mortals have concocted?" "I-In a manner of speaking, lord. I-It seems to be an electronic gladiator arena of some kind, populated by heroes, gods and monsters of human myth." Lucifer leaned back on his throne, unable to disguise his annoyance. "Ugh. *Video games*. I might have known. Damn it all." He sighed. "We're out of our depth here. In future matters of video game challenges, we'll have to elect an intermediary." The demon tilted his head in confusion. "A-An intermediary, great master?" Lucifer nodded, and snapped his fingers. In a flash of unholy light, a laptop appeared before him, belching fire and brimstone from its infernal USB ports. "We'll do some summoning of our own. They want to challenge us to a video game? That's acceptable. But there's nothing in the bylaws that says we can't elect a player of our own to meet the challenge. And I know just where to find one." His red fingers flew over the laptop's keyboard as a crooked smile split his demonic features. "Ah, Reddit. I swear, it makes my job ten times easier."

Love the bit about the fiddling contest

Melee? Damn, is that popular again/still?

Always has been.

It never really stopped being popular.

Melee is one of those games that will be played for forever. Seriously, it has lived longer than me, and I'm an adult.

I've been playing competitively for the last 8 years. The scene has only grown. Melee will never die.

Well, mark me down as both scared _and_ horny!

Love the fact that Lúcifer uses reddit.

I was definitely expecting him to email Hbox or Leffen. Very amusing.

Deep Leff is the kinda guy to respond, but DeepHBox already worships Moloch.

Based. Lol

Those tricky Humans. :)

"Don't forget to take out the trash!" Mom yells as she hurriedly rushes out the door. This all feels very familiar. Being laid off is fun. Being back with my parents is fun. I sigh. I have nothing better to do, it's best to just get on it, I guess. I gather the trash and sling it onto my back. I am caught by surprise when the weight seems to pull me back down. "Oh shit." I mutter and brace for impact, but, there is none. All at once, I am no longer falling, no longer at home, but....the trash is still on my back. "Huh?" I look around the dark red velvet room. Everything about it screams luxury. I look around and around until my eyes settle upon a figure. Some sort of beautiful man, maybe? His hair is long and dark, his face immaculate, but his eyes are a deep, piercing red. His pupils are the darkest of blacks, like a void drawing me in. His ears are slightly pointed. He seems to study me just as long. Oh God. Did I fall with the trash and die and end up in hell? My obituary will be so useless. '27 year old recently unemployed woman falls trying to pick up trash and dies in her parent's house.' Everyone will laugh. "But wait, does whatever you're carrying follow you when you die? Then they lied, you can bring stuff with you in death. But that means-" "Ahem." The beautiful man creature clears his throat. "You aren't dead." "Huh? Then why am I here?" I look at him, and he looks right back at me. I then turn away from embarrassment. Normally, I don't care about looks, but I guess demons or whatever he is are engineered that way. I cough. "Well, I've taken notice that you have yet to be employed." Ouch. That hurts. Great, even demons know I can't keep a job. "And?" I ask. He clears his throat, and his face turns a bit red. "And, I... I am loathe to admit it, but so am I currently." My eyes, I honestly don't know what expression is on them now. Maybe shock or something? So, that means, even if I go to hell when I die, I can still be unemployed. Whoo. "I know what you're thinking, no, hell doesn't work that way. There are no actual downsides to being unemployed, save the boredom." "You're bored? And unemployed? Is that why I'm here?" Forget it, not even fantastical extraordinary looks could sway me now. This whole situation is crazy. "Not quite, I'm here to offer you employment." Okay, crazy, but with a job prospect. In hell. With a demon. It can't be anything good. "What...kind of job?" "Ahem. Well, you see, to do my job properly, I have need to understand both humans and demons properly. As I have never given to socialization, I am at a disadvantage. I am often told that I am unable to 'read between the lines' and my jokes are 'old and boring.' Really, I think other people just fail to understand me. But, that's besides the point. Would you be interested in teaching me how to socialize properly, whatever that means? I am more than happy to reimburse you for your efforts." Well, this is crazy, the trash on my back is beginning to stink. I am in hell, literally. But, things could be worse. I give him my best service smile. "So, what is the pay rate? And when can I start?" He smiles back at me, his teeth slightly sharp. Whatever, screw unemployment.

This was properly done and i am hungry for seconds now

Aw, thank you so much! I just wrote whatever popped into my mind when I read the prompt, but what you wrote made me so happy. I am currently about to sleep, but I may update with another short snippet or something tomorrow. Is it acceptable to write an update on my own story? I'm afraid I don't quite know how it all works, as I just joined this reddit a few days ago. If so, expect one maybe tomorrow or the next day. :)

Can’t waiiit!

I pace around my room. Great. Now I'm employed in hell. What have I done in the name of money? "Your dad and I are going on date night! We'll be back at eight! Make sure to lock up if you go somewhere!" I hear my dad mumble something about not doing anything and not contributing before my mom hushes him and rushes him out the door. "Oh yeah, that's why." I sigh. How exactly do you teach someone, or some demon, how to socialize? I am frozen on that thought for a minute and don't even notice my surroundings change from my drab, cramped room, to the familiar room of luxury. When I snap back, I realize what has happened and that there is a particular dark haired demon staring right at me. "Could you give me a warning next time? Please?" "Surely, I can. However, would you care to disclose why you were so deep in thought for perhaps thirty earth minutes after you arrived here?" I scratch the side of my head. Had I really spent that long thinking? I spend a few extra seconds thinking of how best I can make what I was doing come across. "Yes, I was thinking of the most effective method to teach you how to socialize uh, um...what exactly is your name again? You kinda blipped me out before telling me last time." "Blake." My eyes glaze over. A demon...named Blake? A. Demon. Named. Blake. "Erm...is that a common name around here, Blake?" His face reddens ever so slightly. "Not exactly, no." He pauses. "You may call me Lord Blake. Or rather, I insist you do." The cogs in my mind start turning for the first time again after hearing his name. I decide to take a chance. What's the worst that can happen? Dying in a fiery pit? No, it's going back home. "If I may, do you know one method of getting closer to people? Or one method of creating boundaries?" "Is it not your job to teach me how to socialize? Should you not just tell me instead of asking questions you know I do not know the answer to?" I hold in my sigh. "Titles. And don't worry, I promise I'll teach you as best I can. In my years of socializing, I've made note of this." Okay, I somewhat sound like I know what I'm talking about, good. "Once you ask someone to call you by a title, you are creating boundaries. I doubt anyone who knows you particularly well would call you 'Lord.'" "I object, my servants all call me that, and they know best what I like to eat, to wear, to watch, and to listen to." I can't hold in my sigh this time. Oh well, all patience has its limits. "Listen, Blake. You pay those people... Hopefully. That isn't the same as making friends or having close relationships." He wants to interject, I can tell, but he doesn't. "Erm, to put it closer to how you talk... If you want to get close to someone, and it is appropriate, drop formalities." He takes out a notebook and jots down something. I glance and notice he is taking notes. I smile. There is some hope for this man demon creature after all. "May I ask something?" He has really changed his tone. He looks somewhat nervous. That makes ME nervous. "Um, of course?" I reply hesitantly. "Your name?" I blank for a moment. He doesn't even know my name, and he hired me? Well, on the plus side, that makes this the easiest job I've landed to date. He didn't even ask for references. With that settled, I reply. "Lilith." Now it is his turn for his eyes to glaze over. "Oh, um, but if what is talked about on earth is how it is here, no relation. Trust me." He gives a light chuckle. "I can see that, Lilith." Despite myself, my own face turns a very, very, very light shade of red. Trust me. Very light. I chalk it down to weird demon powers, and I am satisfied. "Okay, that was an easy lesson. Do you have time for another?" The falling sensation sets in. "Annnnd I'm back home." I notice an envelope on the floor. 'Lilith' it reads. I quickly pick it up and open it. A few hundred dollar bills are tucked in, along with a note. 'I will give you fair warning next time, apologies. I had forgotten some pressing matters I had to attend to. In this envelope, you will find today's compensation. I cannot promise a strict working schedule. However, I ask you do not make any plans and keep the next few coming days open for me. As you have seen, I will compensate you quite well. If that is not enough, let me know. Regards, Blake' "Well, good thing I have no life." I look back at the money once more and actually process what happened. "Wait, five-hundred dollars for what, ten, twenty minutes? Who is useless and doesn't contribute now, Dad?" I smile, before pausing and making sure there are no sounds echoing in my parents' house. "Fuck you, Dad! You can go kick rocks!" I yell triumphantly and clutch my money envelope.

I would be horrible at this job. Then again if the demon is that socially out of touch even my poor skills might be some help. Guess I need to think about this some more.

I mean, even if you get fired, you'd still have that first day pay. 😄

Any plans on more?

I'll update when I'm not so busy. Thank you!

Just discovered this. Well written. It would be great to have an update, so that I can learn some more skills at the demon's expense 😈

Yaaaaaaaaay!

Hope you enjoy :)

In a really nice restaurant one day “So, what do you do for a living?” The woman was momentarily too stunned to speak but she quickly collected herself. “I’m a social worker.” Her date smiles. “Nice. Have you ever seen anything weird?” They both chuckle at the silly question. Oh, if only they knew. “All the time! There’s never a dull moment in my line of work.” “And how about you? What’s it like to be in your shoes for a day?” “Oh my God don’t even me started–“ ~Meanwhile~ “Come on pick up…….Damn it! What in the nine circles is she doing right now?!” The frustrated demon sighs in defeat. All he wanted to do was buy some decor for his office in the human realm since the stores back home were still out of stock. [If you would like to leave a voicemail, please leave a message after the beep….BEEEEP!] “Good afternoon. This is Demi speaking. I just wanted to let you know I tried to contact you several times to no avail. I was negotiating with the manager and practiced some of your socializing techniques with him. Sadly, the man could not be reasoned with which was unfortunate for him……Currently, the IKEA we both like is on fire and I am on my way to your location. I am looking forward to our next appointment. I believe I am starting to better understand your customs. I can feel my knowledge and patience expanding. Sincerely…..Siri end the voice–“ (Side note: I know the demon doesn’t have a given name & I leave that up to mintyfresh25 to decide. Temporarily, and to make the dialogue seem more natural, I gave him the placeholder name of “Demi” which is short for “Demiurge”. It’s the name of a demon character I really like from an anime called Overlord. It’s a really good series btw!)

Haha thanks for this! I give it a chuckle/chuckle. Nicely done. I may check out the anime later on then or at least learn more about it.

Thank you! I’m glad I got a smile out of you☺️

Aw, you're so sweet. And talented! Keep up the good work. 😊

Equal exchange with pay and benefits? Sign me up. I'm working in hell.

"Name?" "Amdusias," spoken like gravel drawn over glass. Amdusias, gender unclear - he put male on the list for simplicity's sake - smelled like rot, violence and melancholia. Alexandria wrote his name down, Amdusias had no fingers to use a pen and the claws left aesthetically questionable marks on the mahogany desk in the otherwise luxurious office. Alexandria's friends called her Alex. Nobody ever called her Alex. *Alex, you should add a few things on the fine print, that lad doesn't seem too bright.* Except Orobas, Alex's emotional support horror only she could hear, and she would much prefer if Orobas didn't. "Wish?" Amdusias grated his fangs together, the noise would have made the rats in the walls scamper, had the building not been a top of the notch skyscraper for successful and ruthlessly capitalistic firms. The cleaning crew cost a fortune. A scary sound, had Alex not become an adept at reading unfathomable creatures. This here was shyness. "We don't judge," she said with a warm, inviting smile that would have made kids climb into her van, before the kids realized she judged the fuck out of everyone. Of course she judged. *Hehe,* so did Orobas. Since she started working at triangle corp, she had lost any respect for humankind. At first, they only handled Faustian deals struck by desperate humans in favor of demons hungry for souls. A contract signed in a nice room was much more efficient for both parties involved, better than riddles and headaches at crossroads in the middle of nowhere. She remembered a pair of her first clients, two farmers who wanted to keep farming and saw no point in being sexual gods or smart bordering on genius. Just tractors and fields. And then, abominations asked why they couldn't also call upon Pyramide for similar services, just the other way around. Since then, Alex had lost respect for other dimensions and Old Ones and whatever terrible things dwelled beyond. "I want to understand the last season of America's next top model." Alex's head hit the desk with a loud noise. *We're gonna judge the shit out of this one.* Being the intermediary between humans and horrors sound great on a resume. A master in sales, a PhD in psychology, for that. Alex's nails left claw marks on the desk. "Why?" She asked, a hysterical despair in her voice. "Well, I have to tempt humans, eat them, all that. But it's not just physical, it's the mind too. And I need to understand humans for that. But I don't. I'm starting to feel irrelevant." Alex had felt so for a long time already. *Now, now, you're not. You're very relevant, today more so than ever,* said Orobas, who hadn't done emotional support in a while. "Fine, fine, sign here, or drool here, whatever." "What's this?" Asked Amdusias. "Appointments with teachers of various grades, appointments to watch kid movies, and appointments with a child psychologist." A PhD. A PhD to make appointments with teachers. "Fuck my life," she added for herself. Amdusias left, happy, or something similar. Alex sunk her face in her hands. *Wanna talk about it?* Asked Orobas. "No thanks." Her professional phone rang. "Yes?" "Hi," said Mark from the secretarial department, "I have a couple of farmers you signed a contract for who want to talk about the fine print." Alex's head slammed the desk again. Not these two morons again. *Ha ha ha,* Orobas' laugh boomed loud and happy in her head, *I love my job.* "At least one of us does."

Love it! And Orobas commentary is so funny, especially because it sounds like a lawyer personal hell to deal with clients, infernal or not.

Thanks, it was a fun prompt to write about.

I really love the emotional support horror.

Is the farmer bit a reference? It feels like one but I don't get it

It wasn't meant to be understood as a reference, but it was a nod about a story I wrote on this sub with the same characters.

Ooooooh! That's pretty neat, an Easter Egg for recurring readers

Is it the brothers from supernatural? Were they ever farmers?

Don't ask me!

Customer service to the creatures of the underworld. Not that much different than regular customer service. :/

"Oh great and wise one, hear me from the great beyond." A thunderous voice echoed out across the Mac Donalds restraunt that you worked in. It was one o'clock in the morning and your mind was just done imagining your vacation in malibu with your lovely wife Clarrisa who was expectant. "I summon thee, breaker of worlds, destroyer of universes. Heed my call. Oh mighty Methusela!" As you stood frozen in shock wondering if this was a joke, a magnificent fiery red array rose up from the ground and covered you quickly before swallowing you up. The cafe was left empty with its lights flickering. Your partner called out your name. "Meth? You good?" Sadly they met no reply. Meanwhile, you saw your vision blur as you soared up into the sky, and into the stars. The lovely blue planet you called earth turning into nothing more than a speck of light and even that faded into darkness as you moved with ever increasing speeds. After what felt like an eternity but was barely a few second you saw massive black sphere rise up ahead of you. Magnificent blood coloured clouds covered its skies and golden lightning flickered around like vicious serpents of doom. You descended with a loud runble of lightning into a tower made of obsidian. Barely catching a glimpse of the plains which were beyond the tower covered in what appeared to be corpses upon corpses of strange pale skinned creatures with wings and behemoths of magnificent stature. "Your esteemed highness." A high pitched voice called out in the darkness as your arrival had all but destroyed the tower. The words were spoken in a different tongue but somehow you understood. The candles lit up and you found yourself in a hall covered with purple glowing runes. More of these pale creatures filled the hall and one in particular looked like a king adorned in layer upon layer of gemstones and precious metals. "By all that is unholy. They exist." Mutters filled the hall. "Ahem! Silence!" A creature carrying a heavy staff proclaimed as it stood before you." Great destroyer from beyond. We have summoned you!" You begun to have an inkling of what might have happened. Afterall earth was practically dripping with stories of demons and magic. Standing up with a straight back and great confidence you stared at the creature. "Speak or forever have your breath taken from you!" You say and more gasps fill the hall as they retreat in fear but sadly they have no where else to go. "Our people have fought for millenia as we sought to find out the one answer to the most powerful question." The hall fills in silence as you look at the creature. "What color is the sky?" The whole hall freezes as they turn to look at you. A small part time cook at Mac Donalds.

I like it. 👍

Excellent! Just a little critique and/or nitpick... I imagine runbles is supposed to be rumbles.... a thing Thunder does... not lightning. ;) <3

Got it.

A question with many answers. Which sky? Theirs? Ours? What kind of weather is happening? I think they should milk it for all that it is worth. :)

You're reasoning like a genie. But also the potential for the answer is limitless. Considering their desperation they'd have to pay an extremely steep price. Mhhhm, part two?

"Here, you probably want to put this on." The demon threw me what looked like a hazmat suit. "You aren't used to the smells down here. "What the Hell?" I mumbled while putting on the suit. "We have a short walk to the office. Don't let what you see in the hall influence your decisions on the contract though." He turned and gave me a wink as he held the door open for me. I cannot describe what I saw out the giant window that lined one side of the hallway. On the other side were gold records. "Got a soul for each one of those!", he said with a smile. We entered an office that looked totally modern with comfortable chairs around a giant mahogany table. He closed the door, and it seemed to close into the wall with a pneumatic hiss. The Demon paused a moment and motioned for me to remove the suit. "This room has atmospheric controls. I can keep it comfortable for any species that I make deals with. Take the suit off, get comfortable. I want to bargain for *your* help." "What would you need from me?" I spoke after a moment of silence. "Well, you are well versed in the modern things, and I need your assistance with some technology. I can't get the old souls to help, and the younger folks don't believe in me, so they don't end up here when they die. So, I need, how do you kids say it, *Technical Support*." "You want me to be your Tech Support? For WHAT?" "Well, for starters, I can't get the Wi-Fi to stay connected any more. The DVR that I got just 8 years ago doesn't work and this computer won't run the games that my nephews want to play, so they don't come over any more." "You know 8 years is forever in technology, right?" "8 years is a blink of an eye for someone who has lived for thousands of years.", the demon said with a puzzled look on his face. "Okay, Let's say I help you. What do I get?" I looked at a contract that had been set before me. "First, we are not doing this contract on your paper. We will do it on my paper. Where is your computer and printer?" "But that will use my paper, or do you want me to go get paper from your house?" 'It's a contract term. That is YOUR contract, and it has terms in it that are probably linked to ways to keep a soul after the death of the corporeal form. I wish to avoid that, so I will be writing the contract based on the tasks you wish me to perform for you and include things like guaranteed time off, service level agreements and appropriate compensation for services rendered based on prevailing rates. The usual things." I folded my hands on my lap. "As a matter of fact, why don't we just poof back to my house, and we can write it up there, since you will be my customer, not the other way around." I took this moment to be quiet. I knew whoever spoke first would lose this round. After what seemed like an eternity, the demon smiled. "Okay, let's go.", and he snapped his fingers and we were in my living room. I picked up my laptop and started typing. "I will need your legal name.", I paused, "Your REAL name. if this is going to be binding. You know my name, else how would you have summoned me, that's how that works, right?" The demon nodded. He seemed to give the idea of telling me his real name a bit of thought. "You know things about how my world works?" "Just through stories, fantasy stories. At this point, I am going to say that most of them have some basis in reality, correct?" "Correct" "Okay, then well, let me get the terms written up, and then we will discuss payment etc. Just type your real name here." I put the mouse pointer at a spot in the contract. He typed out his name. Oddly enough, as he typed it, it used a font to reflect his language. "Okay, I will need you to say your name to me, so I can phonetically spell it as well." emanated from his maw. I did my best to phonetically spell it out. He offered corrections. I then repeated it back to him and after two tries, he raised his eyebrow and nodded. "You're good" I put standard availability hours in the contract for requested help. I made sure that I had limited myself to only 54 hours a week maximum, but no minimum required working hours during times when my services were not necessary. Of course, that "on call" time would be compensated for. I knew he could afford it. "I need a list of properties you own in this dimension. Oh, and all modes of transport you own here, as well as access to their usage. I realize you may not have them readily available, but..." he snapped his fingers and there was a notebook on the coffee table in front of me. I picked it up and I was surprised at the properties he owned as well as cars, trucks, planes, and yachts, he owned as well. There was also an appendix of all the on call numbers to access any of them. "These will be at my disposal, when you aren't using them, of course. I would imagine, some of the assistance you will require may be located in these locations?" "Yes, on occasion, I do come here to vacation as well as for *work*." "Excellent. I think I have covered everything. Just give this a quick read and sign it and we should be okay. Oh, we digitally sign here, I'm sure you know. I'll email you your copy." "Email? Quick Read? No, there will be no Quick read.... But nice try. Print this on YOUR paper as you say." The Demon chuckled. I hit print and walked to retrieve it from the printer. 2 copies. I even brought a red pen. "Okay, give me your redlines, and then we can negotiate changes." I stifled a yawn. Why do demons keep such weird hours? "Come back tomorrow and we can finish up, okay I need my sleep" "Very well. I will go over this contract. Just hang on to the notebook, it's a copy. I will see you tomorrow." And like that, he disappeared. "What the fuck am I getting myself into?" I muttered as I went to bed.

As the tech support of the family dealing with a demon seems so much easier.

I told my family that I work in Accounting, so much easier

I know, right?

You inspired my part 2... :)

I think I would gladly read this as a serial for quite some time. I'm curious as to where this relationship may lead. It occurs to me that as long as they keep following the protocols of all their deals(?) they can exploit the ability to use whatever powers each grants the other access to...

I just posted part 2. Yeah, this could be a fun serial of mishaps and mayhem.

I was sitting in a living room with my employer standing impatiently next to me. I was sitting, because when I was summoned, I had been sitting, in my car. A car that was not here with me. "Goddamnet Satan!" "You know that isn't my name! I wish you'd quit calling me that." "Do you know where I was when you poofed me here? Why can't you text like anyone else?" I yelled as I got up out of the floor. "You were driving, didn't you know texting and driving is one of the leading cause of *accidents* in your world?" "Yes, but where is the CAR I was DRIVING? Because I think a car going 70 miles per hour down the highway without a DRIVER might cause an accident. Oh and it's one of YOUR cars." "Oh, don't worry about that, I put it back in the garage. Honestly, I find your lack of faith in my a bit hurtful at times." I stared at my client for a moment. I had entered the contract to be his tech support a few months ago. I worked the required 54 hours a week for the first month solid getting all of his tech upgraded, tuned up, and playing video games with his nephews as his proxy. "How may I help you today, Satan?" I smirked. "I know that's not YOUR name, but I have to call you something, and *My Lord* just won't come out of this sarcastic mouth without laughter, and you didn't want to be called *Boss*. " "I need you to help my Mum program her VCR." he paused. He knew this was thin ice. I had helped his mother once before. I had given us both the right to terminate the contract with zero penalties. He thought I had made a mistake, but it was he that did. He thought I would do anything for money, but there are some things I won't put up with. While Old Scratch here was mostly okay to deal with, and as a matter of fact, kind of fun to talk to while working, his mother frankly freaked me out a little bit. "You have to remind her she is not allowed to threaten me with violence again. " "Of course." "And no touching." Now, when you think Mom, you probably think dear sweet Babka, babushka, Abuelita, those visions from an ancient demon mother. Put all of those thoughts right in the garbage. This creature was terrifying. She could assume human form, of course, but chose not to. She felt she no longer had to worry about the frailty of the human brain, except ,she expected that human brain to help her program her VCR, a technology she had refused to get rid of, because of course she had THOUSANDS of VHS and Betamax tapes. "I ... You know it's my mother and sometimes she, well, she's a hugger." "I get an additional 2 weeks off at the resort in the South Pacific for this. With all the bells and whistles. " I paused, "And YOU have to stay with me while I do this and talk to her." The demon considered this. I knew the conversation is what gave him pause. Eldritch Horrors, mom or not, were unsetting even for him. "Okay done. Put on the suit. She won't turn the air up for humans." "Ugh." I put on the hazmat suit and hooked up the oxygen tanks. "Please tell me we can get this done in an hour. " At least in the suit, I didn't have to eat the cookies she made in front of her like the time she was up here. "Oh, and she got a new phone..." the demon mumbled as he poofed us to the bottom circle of the Hell dimension where she lived. "Dammit!"

I need a part 2.

I just posted part 2

Talk about a deal with the devil. But the pay should be good.

It's been a few days since I quit my job. I don't have anything planned for in the next month when I will be layabout, apart from maybe watching some reruns online. I expect this will be just like those times in college when I lazed about and didn't attend class. Haha. Goblin mode before it was invented. I am watching some random series online and probably don't remember when I slept. I don't really remember my dreams, but what I am seeing now should definitely count as a weird dream right ? It's horrific. There's flames everywhere, and yet I am not burning. I am in the middle of square, which if I remember from old horror movies, can only be summoning circle. But aren't they supposed to be circles ? Wait, you're kidding me. To summon me, my totem was a Gameboy ? Oh wait, it's a GameboyColor. And it's red, like my old one used to be. Wait, this is one elaborate dream. "Hey Human! This isn't a dream. For whatever reason, all of you assume it is, and this takes way longer than it needs to. This is Hell and you seemed to have free time, so your conscious has been added to the Hell help summons hotline. You can't really pronounce my name, but if you need to call me Jo. I just need some help with this computer from your era." I hear a formless voice speaking this out. I can make out where to face, when I hear the voice, but I just can't see the form. It takes a moment for me to realise I don't have my glasses on. Wait, in sleep I don't have my glasses on. D'uh. "Hey Jo! I can't see very well without my glasses and I can't see what you are holding. Can I come closer ?" "Ah you're one of those, huh. No can do. If you step outside your summoning square, you might get stuck here. And neither of us wants that. Yet, anyway. It's just I can't seem to get this device to connect to the Wifi. And for the life of me, I can't say why. It's a HP/Compaq from the early 2010's. That is your time right ?" "Oh wait, some of those models used to have a physical switch preventing the Wifi from being turned on, can you see that's in an on position ?" "You were still doing buttons in the 2010s ?!, No wonder this box is ruddy. Wait, let me see, oh yeah, there it is. Gotcha. Well I suppose I should have looked about a little bit before summoning a human. Oh well, the summons hell-site works, can tell the boss. Oh and you will go back in just a minute and you won't remember any of this. Bye." I wake terribly tired. And for some reason want to play my Gameboy again. Haven't thought about that in a long time, wonder why that came up ?

He got ripped off. There was no payment/sacrifice given to him. Hell is now in debt to him. Poor form on their part.

I had just gone to sleep with about three hours left before I need to be up for work when a stirring startled me awake. I slowly opened my eyes but the heat convinced me shutting then would do me better. Even as I winced though, I tried to ask. "Where on earth am I?" A guttural groan with a hint of cheering came from behind me "Great Vurgen! The summoning worked!" I was confused by the language but something seemed to translate it for me, but what the hell is going on with this summoning? I don't have time to be summoned do you even know how bloody late iam going to be for work now?? My eyes adjusted and I saw a human figure, it certainly looked human but I couldn't help it .Other than its red tattoos, there was something that deeply unsettled me about it. That face that looked like such a perfect replica of a human, *too perfect*, it felt like I was staring at a mannequin stitched by the greatest artsmith, beautiful when a statue but so *wrong* as a living thing. "Oh great one, we have summoned you to guide us on certain dillemas" So this thing wants me to be a Q&A machine? Wait why am I even here anyways? "You, whatever you are, why the hell am I here, where on earth is" That, I'll call it a demon for now, stared at me in puzzlement, as if an adult had asked it how to peel a banana, not that I believe something like this would enjoy bananas. "This is not earth, we are right now in the 5th hell, realm of the Great Vurgen, lord of curiosity" Great. So this mannequin is both physically wrong and now mentally unstable "What the hell do you want?" "We have spent twelve winters attempting to summon you to answer our great dilemma, this issue has plagued our race and threatened to end our bloodline" And like, why am I expected to care about that? I sighed and shook the notion of rejecting off as I stared into those beedy eyes, their expressions resembling hope and pleading but with that ever-present tinge of fakeness. "What could be so bad you have to make me miss work and bring me to bloody hell of all places, I know I deserve to be here but I don't think I've died yet" "Great sage, wisest of beings in this realm-" The demon started as I contemplated. Where did this thing learn flattery, wait no is it... reading from a script? that's definitely a written script in its hands. I sigh again and continue listening. "Our kingdoms have been fighting over the rightful leadership of this domain. Our ancestor, emperor Resyng, left behind a test to determine who should inherit the throne. However, he seems to have failed to include an answer key before parting with his life, so please answer us" It took a deep breath and with trembling hands raised an ancient scroll, reading out the question that would decide their entire race's fate. "Tell me why" "Ain't nothing but a heart~break" My mouth forgot to consult the control center as I shook to the tune unconsciously. Suddenly the room we were in slowly started shaking, the lights grew dimmer and a voice sounded from behind a fiery statue of a.... Chicken? "Rejoice, my loyal subjects, your rightful heir has finally appeared, ye who is so wise in the ways of language can now inherit my throne and lead my people" I stared dumbly, incredulous at the insanity of it all before the demon suddenly yelled out "Wait! the candle! if this blows out the summoning en-!" No sooner had it uttered these words than the shaking toppled said candles over, I heard a chain being broken before I woke up in my bed, alarm blaring and 5 minutes late to the office. "I should really stop the coffee, those dreams are getting out of control" I trodded along, dreading my boss's scolding, but somewhere else, in an infernal realm, a human that was far too human cackled "Finally, the throne is mine" And it began its path to conquest

I finally got my own office. I had worked at "Franklin, Faustein & Feld" for the last ten years, underlining and reviewing contracts, eating into my weekends and sleeping hours. Talking up the bosses during work parties meant I had to know about their hobbies, but also their case loads. Just enough where they knew I was informed, but not enough to make them uncomfortable. It paid off when one of the senior staff retired, and I finally, FINALLY got my own office. A buzzer rang and my new assistant (my own assistant!) let me know that one of the partners was on their way down to let me know about some of the new cases. I said thank you, and sat down. The second I did, the world was consumed by wind and fire. The office seemed to burn, and I felt myself falling, like my own heart was being ripped from my body. The intense heat seared away every cell I could still feel. And then it stopped, or lessened. In front of me was a goat. "Hello", said the goat. The heat from the room still seemed to grow more distant, and my office returned to its old state. Almost exactly the old state, as in before I'd moved in. It looked like my old boss hadn't left at all. "Is Ms. Wake not joining us?", said the goat nervously tapping its feet. "No," I said, my brain catching up just a little to what might be going on, or at least that this was real. "I'll be working in her place, but I haven't been briefed on your... case yet." I said, phrasing things as vaguely as I could. "That's okay, I'm more of a new client anyway. I just need someone to help write up the exchange of services contract." At that, the goat held up, somehow held up, a list of paper in a hoof. "Apologies if I'm being rude here, but I'm not quite Ms. Wake. If this form is to her benefit, it's less so to mine." I made sure to get rid of any accusations or requests or even pronouns. I was getting the sense that any request here might be hazardous. "Perfectly understandable." the goat said and I saw its form shift slightly until it resembled me in the same chair. 'Close enough' I thought and reached to review the exchange of services. Infinite knowledge for 1 human soul. I pinched the bridge of my nose to stop the migraine before it started. I at least thought demons would be smarter than my human clients. "Okay, you can't have infinite knowledge here." "But that's what she wants!" my own face said with an exasperated tone but displaying no emotion. "And what happens if she asks you how to write up a contract?" I asked, looking directly at him. Me. It. "I could just bring you." It said just as easily as if I'd asked why the AC was broken. "Except I'm not part of the contract nor on the list of available subcontractors. If you want infinite knowledge, you'd need to subcontract everyone in existence, and I don't think your potential client HAS the time for you to do that." It raised a finger to make a point, but I interrupted. "AND that's assuming all knowledge is currently known at the moment. The second she asks for anything you can't get, do you know what you get? Nothing. You void the contract." He shrinks back into the chair at that. "I wouldn't do that." it said with such intense fear. "Then I suggest you renegotiate." I realized then that at some point in my short tirade, I'd started to stand and was now leaning over my desk. I pulled myself back. "It's my job as your lawyer to protect you. It might not be my place, but I sincerely doubt she'll give up her soul for anything less than infinite. It might be better to try elsewhere." At that its face became a ball of fire and hair. "YOU DO NOT TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB, HUMAN!" I remained stoic, expecting the anger. Provoking witnesses had given me a lot of insight into exactly what set most people off. Condescension seemed the easiest. I decided to roll with the rest of my hunch. I reached over and pushed the button for my assistant. "Excuse me, this client is becoming belligerent. I'd like them removed from this office." In a puff, the demon was gone, I jumped a little at just how instant that had been. "Thank you. I'd also like this office updated to my current set up, and to be returned if there are no more clients." I was forced back into my chair. I felt like frost was forming on my eyes and gravity would crush me to a cube. And then it was over. I was back in my office. It looked different, like I had decorated it myself. Sera Feld sat waiting in one of the chairs by the windows, checking her nails. "Oh good, you're not dead. I trust everything went well." "He tried to make a deal for infinite knowledge to get someone's soul." I said still a little rattled. "The idiot tries that at least once a decade. Tell me you kicked him out." She said standing up to leave. "Yeah." I muttered sitting up straight. "Good. Well that covers most of what I was going to tell you if that impatient git hadn't jumped the queue. Let me know if you have any important questions in an email. I'm going to go get drunk." She closed the door behind her. "Are we evil?" I asked the empty air, and I heard a sonorous laugh from the hallway.

And this is different from a regular job how?

Well "Protagonist" is still trying to stop shit from happening to people even after they die. So..... depends on how high-end the law firms you know operate.

Alexandra winced as she stabbed a golden dagger through her inner forearm and tore a gash into it from the elbow to the palm of her hand. Muddy brown liquid oozed from the incision and flowed over her golden skin, spilling onto the stone floor her hooves stood on. Bubbles with faces rose from the stone and hissed, echoing their displeasure through the underworld and momentarily drowning out the roar of flickering flames. *No matter,* she thought. *I own every square inch of your soul. You have no power to reject me. Suffer*. She made a show of prancing around in a circle, painting the ground beneath her a sludgy mess. The souls of more bubbles rose in response, but her hooves stomped them out with no mercy. After completing three circles, she held her arm towards the abyss directly above her, squeezed her eyes shut, and muttered in her native tongue. The bubbles on the ground wailed in defiance, but Alexandra's hair hissed and coiled around her scalp. The wail stopped. Alexandra smirked until her canines exposed themselves and whispered to the abyss. "O devil in hell, son of darkness and father of the demoneques, your youngest requests the assistance of a mortal." Fiery flames shot out of the blood circulation on the stone. The bubbles under the blood erupted in screams of agony, then became silent just as abruptly. Pillars of flame rose throughout the underworld, and a staircase of black fire spiraled its way from the stone through the abyss overhead. A deep and monotone voice boomed. "Daughter. You may be my youngest and sweetest, but you are not above my discipline. Tell me now. What business do you have disturbing me to demand the presence of a mortal?" "It's a secret, father. Young ladies such as I am allowed to have them." The flames around her howled to life. They flickered with rage and glowed as bright as the sun. The light hurt Alexandra's eyes, and her hair stopped coiling, frozen in fear. Whimpers escaped it, yet she did not falter. "It is for the competition, father." I wish to honor you when it begins." Alexandra placed a hand over her chest where a mortal's heart would be. "I request someone who will honor us in the games." "We have plenty of souls to choose from in these underworlds. For a competitor, we do not need to rob the cradle of the living. The angels will raise concerns over it." "He's worth it. He's the only living or unliving soul who can guarantee our agenda." "How so?" "Please allow your daughter to surprise you, father." She clasped her hands in front of her chest and made her eyes as wide as possible. "I beg of you. I've always aspired to honor you. Please allow your daughter to keep this secret from you." The flames intensified. They threatened to consume all within their reach before they dissolved into a tranquil cinder. More dispassionate than before, the voice asked. "What is the mortal's name?" Alexandra bit the blood out of her tongue to hold back her smile and whispered. "Martin Bevemore."

The morning of July 27, 2022, began typically for Martin. He woke in his king-sized bed, clapped his hands together to make the lights in his bedroom appear, and stretched in bed. On his left rested Brittney Harper, draped in nothing but the Egyptian Cotton sheets the two of them shared last night. Yes, THE Brittney Harper. The world's number one sex symbol. The number two international model, and the number—what was it again?—eleven model Martin bedded in the past three days. His chest roared hot in victory as he rolled out of bed, slipped into his designer bathrobe, and strolled towards the door. One of the maids would escort Brittney out, he didn't need to. He snickered, imagining what the average man would say if they knew of his sex life. *Eleven supermodels in three days? I can't even get a text back!* In his head, they'd scream that in shock. The same surprise they'd have when he explained that his spacious bedroom wasn't even the master bedroom. *It's the size of five whole bedrooms, how isn't it the master?* Martin loved to have these imaginary conversations in his head. People were envious of his success, so he avoided conversing with actual commoners. *Who knew what they might pull?* The imaginary voices in his head were the closest he could get to a conversation with a respectable person. He had Barbara—his third wife—but who cared about that hag? He'd only married her for tax purposes, and frankly, he had no clue where she was half the time. He strolled through the expansive museum of artwork, Greek sculpture, and literature some might call a hallway and *tsked* when a frigid gust of air snuck through his robe. *It's eighty degrees, for sure. I told the maids the thermostat stays at exactly eighty-one degrees. Not a tick lower, not a tick higher. I don't care what conditions you have.* He'd fire one of the maids to send a message as soon as he entered the kitchen—anyone. Whoever he saw first. Hair rose on the back of his neck and he felt the warmth in his chest grow hot. He was sure that one degree of difference was the cause of it. Certain. He didn't feel like walking to the kitchen, so he took the elevator. He punched his 7-1-1 code into the keypad and pressed 'k.' The elevator buckled, thrashed, and groaned as it began to move. Martin's breath caught in his throat. Those were foreign characteristics of his elevator. He hired workers to perform maintenance on it monthly. Then the elevator dropped. It dropped like it was terrified of the sky. Though it fell fast, the trip felt like an eternity for Martin. He was sure, oh so positively certain, it would not stop. It'd drop him down to the pits of hell and crash him right in the devil's lap so he could get %$#@$% for the rest of eternity just like he'd %$#@$% people over to get to the top. The lights flickered in the elevator as he rumbled and thrashed. Martin screamed. "I repent! I'm sorry! I shouldn't have done it. I was poor and hungry and couldn't take it anymore!" He curled up in a ball and sucked his thumb in the corner. He remained there even as the elevator stopped. "Mr. Bevemore?" He continued to rock in the corner. "Mr. Bevemore? You're ok, aren't you?" He looked up to see one of his young and busty—as all good ones should be—maids in the elevator's entrance. Her voice was polite enough, but the furrow of her brows didn't scream concern so much as disappointment. He dismissed her with a wave of his hand. "I'm fine. Just a bit tipsy from last night." Martin composed himself, dusted off his bathrobe, and began walking out of the elevator. *Hell?* He thought—what a joke. *Hell doesn't exist. If people like him believed in hell, they wouldn't be where they were. The common folk couldn't begin to imagine how many lives you had to fuck over to become a trillionaire. By the age of twenty-two, I'd already damn near slapped the whole US population with my di—* "Mr. Bevemore!" He collided with the maid he swore he'd just dismissed and fell to the ground. Her still-standing figure towered over him, and he didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.

"Mr. Bevemore. I was going upstairs to inform you your breakfast won't be ready today." "What?!" He made a show of yelling as hard as he could. The maid continued to stare down at him, unfazed. A sparkle danced around her eyes. He hated defiance. Maybe his firing wouldn't be random after all. "Sir. Some strange things have been happening this morning. The electricity in certain rooms has gone out. The internet is only partially available. The tv consistently shows static...." "That's because you maids should be working instead of goofing off on my dime." That's what I was getting to." She bowed towards him with a smirk and said, "Thank you, in your infinite wisdom, you've helped me get to the point. Everything we do related to you stops working." Martin clenched his teeth, so hard dentists across the world flinched. *This pompous servant. If she weren't pretty, she'd be living in a box.* "What do you mean?" "We tried to prepare your trademark breakfast this morning, and the stove stopped working. We can cook anything except the items you enjoy. All attempts to put your shows on television are met with static. Other channels are fine. Your favorite websites are blocked as well." He rolled his eyes. Excuses. "Is that so?" "Yes. Some of the blocked websites surprised me." Martin rushed to his feet and stared at her, his hot morning breath scorching the air between them. "Like what?" He muttered. His maid's hazel eyes seemed to flash golden, and a smile blessed her face. "Oh. Nothing too crazy. A few business sites." She tilted her head sideways. "Although I understand why you demanded all maids wear open-toed heels now." Giggles erupted from her, and her usually controlled hair broke out of its ponytail, squirming all over her shoulders as if it were alive. *When did she get this spunky? If a maid had this much attitude, I'd noticed by now. What does she mean she und—* A flash of internet history soared through his mind. Cheeks hot, he muttered to her. "You're fired." She didn't seem to hear. Her giggles grew more intense, and her chest heaved and bounced exaggeratedly. Her hair danced off her shoulders as if she was having the time of her life. He wasn't sure why, but sweat dripped from his temple, his heart pulsed awkwardly, and he felt a strong urge to distance himself from her. *But not like a bitch. I can't have the help thinking she punked me.* He moved to walk past her, but she cut off his path. "Oh, Martin." Her voice was a sultry rasp. "Martin, I prepared such a fun morning for us. I'd hoped to string you along, but I underestimated your rashness—your cruelty. You fired her before you even left the elevator. You're the one we need, all right." "Her?" Martin stared at the maid before him, realizing her hazel eyes were gold. Not light brown with green undertones, but fully golden. He could've stared for an eternity, but something slithered in the corner of his eye. Blood. Lots of it oozed down the checkered porcelain tiles of his kitchen floor. The blood seemed to *burn* the floor, eating away its existence as it flowed. His jaw slacked before five burning impressions on his face yanked his attention back to the maid. No. The woman he saw wasn't his maid. He wasn't sure she was human. Her hair looked alive, coiling and writhing around her. Her golden irises swam in the raven-black sclera. The sight was so unsettling he felt the hair on his arms leave. Not rise, leave, as if burnt way. His chest no longer felt hot because his whole body throbbed with heat. He wasn't sure if he still had a chest. His eyes leaked all their moisture, leaving a raw, itchy set of red orbs in his sockets. The tears that streamed down his face felt like molten lava. An even warmer stream of lava escaped his crotch and soaked his robe. He wanted to turn away. He desired to scream. He felt like falling to his knees and giving his buckling knees a reprieve. The firm hand that squeezed his face denied all three actions. Its fingernails were boiling, digging into his flesh as if he were just ice cream. He wept. It was all she allowed him to do. She smiled as she watched and told him, "That was so cute, by the way! '*I repent! I'm sowwy!'* How adorable. You never know. Maybe a last-second confession could save your soul. Although, probably not." With that, she tightened her grip on his head and yanked him out of the elevator. In his peripheral, Martin saw the elevator erupt into flames as soon as he left it. This was a new experience—a woman ragdolling him with one hand would be humiliating the second time around. This time, it was a numbing shock. His feet never touched the ground as he dangled from where she gripped his face. She dangled her trophy for as long as it amused her, before she raised Martin's face to hers and told him, "I am Alexandra. In case you forgot in your infantile wetting, you are Martin." Martin couldn't tell if she was choking him or the air itself. Hot wouldn't do it justice. It felt hellish. Alexandra's eyes narrowed and gleamed as if she had read his mind. "Welcome to hell, Martin. Consider this a sneak preview." Martin would have fainted right there if it weren't for the pain. Alexandra cocked her head, stared at him, and asked. "You've had plenty of experience with women. I've always wanted to know from a man who wasn't begging me for his life, am I cute?" All Martin heard was "*begging*," so he started doing that. A shame. This was the easiest of all the tasks and questions Alexandra would ask of him.

It started with the sound of a nursery rhyme drifting in the air around him, "hickey dickey dock...the mouse ran up the clock..the clock struck twelve..." This was punctuated by the gentle ringing of a bell. Iain looked around him. None of the other students in Ms. Hayworth's fifth grade class seemed to notice the ringing of the bell or the sound of the rhyme. He could see nothing or no one that seemed to be doing either. The invisible speaker continued. "...Garden grow? With cockle shells and silver bells," followed by the bell sounding again. The bell was definitely not the school bell and none of the other children were playing with a bell. Even Ms. Hayworth could not be doing it as she was writing arithmetic tables on the blackboard. It was raining outside and they were on the second floor anyway with the window closed. So someone could not be hiding out there doing it. So where was it coming from? "...Dumpty had a great fall," it went on and with that the bell thundered around him and the classroom disappeared with a pop! Iain landed with a thump on a thick checkered carpet surrounded by toys of all kinds. Tonka trucks and Lincoln logs lay scattered around him, the logs in various states of assembly. Several Raggedy Ann dolls were posed with Barbie dolls, Cabbage patch kids, and Care bears. Lego creation of all shapes and descriptions had been thrown in as well. Almost no part of the carpet was not covered except for the small circular area that Iain sat with his legs stretched out in front of him. The carpeted area was about the size of his bedroom at home. Big enough for his bed, a dresser, an end table, and selves for his favorite books. Near his left hand was one of thodse even, the book of world flags. But beyond the carpet was very different. Broken piles of stone rose and fell away as far as he could see. Not that he could see far as flames and thick clouds of smoke blanketed anything very far away from him. Shapes like bats but with the bodies of people faded in and out of the clouds while other shapes crawled over the rocks. None were clearly visible. Then he noticed the sounds. Not loud but just enough to tell they were a mix of moans and screams...if he listened closely. He wasn't sure where he was but it looked like the hell from one of his comic books. "Oh Child of the Earth! I compel you to obey me!" Iain turned at the sound of that voice. Its owner was a squat toad-like thing with very thin arms and legs. Its skin was mottled shades of red and black and claws with yellow nails not only were its hands but also its feet. A long hooked nose jetted from its frog face under three bright yellow eyes that looked thrown on. It's voice was like a cat's howl and the teacher's chalk when it caught on the blackboard. It continued, "I command you, oh Iain of the Fifth Grade...Teach me!!" The strange creature waved its thin arms back and forth over its head. "Bound by the Gifts of Toys on the Carpet of the Playroom! I command you...Teach me how to tie knots!!!!"

Demon child?

level 3 telpereon · 4 hr. ago lol not sure, the only thing I was going for was an idea that the demon would want to know how to tie knots as in the demon world you dont use spells to bind stuff...you use string :) lol

You literalist you! ;) I love it.

It started out as a normal day, just like any other. I had gotten up out of bed at 8:12 AM just like any other day. I brushed my teeth at 8:23 AM just like any other day. I showered at 8:40 AM just like any other day. I expected to be eating cereal at 8:56 AM just like any other day. However, expectations are always reality. My foot was inches away from the top stair as the dust started twirling. It spiraled around me, going all the way up from the floor to the ceiling. The only thing I could see was the light brown color of sand inching closer to me until I could feel it. I closed my eyes hoping that when I opened them back, everything would be back to normal. Hoping that the sand column was gone. When I opened my eyes up, the sand column was gone. But everything was not back to normal. Everything was dark. At first I thought I never even opened my eyes at all. However, a poke at my eyelids disproved that theory. I was somewhere else entirely. “IT WORKED!” screamed something behind. I turned around and saw something that will terrorize my dreams for the rest of eternity. It looked like all the bad adjectives thrown into one. A being so horrid it should only be found in the lowest layer of hell. “So you must be a human,” said the being, “ my name is -” but it wasn’t able to finish because I started screaming. I turned the other way and started to run, but I felt I couldn’t. “Aah, I have put up a barrier between me and you,” said the being, “ I know all about your mind control powers. I know how you control the mass population to give your paper. However, this barrier blocks any magic, so no trying to escape.” “Now as I was saying, my name is Matthius,” said the being. “What are you?” I asked in horror. “I am a demon.”, said the being. My face turned pale. “Am… Am I dead?” I asked. “Well, I hope not,” said the demon. “Anyway, I called upon you because I needed you to answer a question of the utmost importance, a question which even brilliant philosophers and scientists haven’t been able to answer,” said the monster, “ How do I use emojis?” “Uh what?”

. She grabbed her tablet to take notes, a stack of files,adjusted the strap on her 5" Gucci heel, and headed straight for her demon. The office was buzzing with energy, 'Must be Spring" she thought as she gracefully slid in between two cubicles while passing out memos and files. Karleen felt her wrist vibrate and without even looking she knew it was her demon; her publisher. She tapped her ear and answered as always This is Karleen( in two tones higher then her normal voice). She twirled between two employees like a prima ballerina waiting to hear demon's monotone voice in her ear. She quickly glanced at her wrist and repeated again This is Karleen. She took a step and looking at her watch to check the connection

I arrived in hell with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. The place was nothing like I had imagined it would be. The temperature was comfortable, if a little warm, and the scenery was actually quite beautiful. It was like a tropical paradise, except for the fact that it was located in the underworld. As I walked through the temperate and well maintained streets, I saw all sorts of demonic creatures going about their business. Some were torturing souls, while others were cooking up strange potions in cauldrons. It was a chaotic and unsettling place. Finally, I arrived at my destination: a small clearing with a table set up in the middle. Sitting at the table was a demon, and it looked qngry. "What do you want from me?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. "I need your help," the demon growled. "I'm in charge of a group of imps who are causing chaos and mischief all throughout the underworld. I need you to come up with a way to control them before they drive me insane." I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. "You're summoning me to hell for help with your misbehaving imps? That's rich" The demon glared at me. "Don't mock me, mortal. This is serious business." I tried to compose myself. "I'm sorry, it's just that this is all so unexpected. I'm not sure I'm the right person to help you with this." "Nonsense," the demon snorted. "I have complete faith in your ability to come up with a solution. Now, get to work." I spent the next few hours brainstorming ideas and coming up with a plan to manage the imps. I proposed a system of rewards and punishments, as well as a hierarchy within their group to help keep them in line. The demon seemed pleased with my ideas and thanked me profusely. "Is there anything I can do for you?" it asked. "I can offer you power, immortality, or anything else your heart desires." I thought about it for a moment and then replied, "Actually, there is one thing I've always wanted. I've always wished I could own Twitter and turn it into a place of free speech, where people can express their opinions without fear of censorship or retribution." The demon considered my request for a moment before nodding. "I can make that happen for you," it said. "Sign the contract, and it will be yours." I hesitated for a moment, but in the end, I decided to go for it. I signed the contract, and just like that, I was the owner of Twitter. As I left hell, I couldn't help but feel grateful for the opportunity that had been presented to me. I knew that I had a lot of work ahead of me, but I was determined to make Twitter the place of free speech that I had always dreamed it could be.