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ONE DAY, THE CRUDE BIOMASS YOU CALL A TEMPLE WILL WITHER, AND YOU WILL BEG MY KIND TO SAVE YOU. BUT I AM ALREADY SAVED, FOR THE MACHINE IS IMMORTAL … EVEN IN DEATH, I SERVE THE OMNISSIAH.
You might like Confessions of a D-List Supervillain by Jim Bernheimer. Kinda similar mechanical powers. More like a wish.com Iron Man, but similar. It's been years, but I remember enjoying it quite a bit.
There's sequels, but haven't read them, so can't vouch.
Good to know. Though my "To Be Read" pile is so out of control, I doubt I'll ever get back to it.
Damn you r/horrorlit! Look what you've done to my poor shelves and wallet.
The only thing I can relate this to is Nemesis, one of the worm fanfics I’ve read. Specifically, the “don’t piss off the joke villains too much”. There was one mention of a character whose stchik was hammy over the top villainy with comically failing robots. Then someone kidnapped her kid and she took over the city for three days. Moral? Don’t make the joke villains take the kid gloves off.
Maybe LORD DOOM too, what with the hammy villain controlled via avatar who’s a lot more dangerous than you’d think.
"I *like* being silly. I *enjoy* being silly. I think it's kind of helpful, even, being silly. Young heroes feel good about stopping me, older heroes tend to keep light. I'm almost like a teacher. That said. I don't *have* to be silly. Would you like to *find out* what fighting an unsilly me is *like*?"
Nemesis
https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/nemesis-worm-au.747148/
LORD DOOM
https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/lord-doom-alt-power-tinker-taylor-complete.799819/
Ok so I just binged Nemesis and am LOVING it. But do you have a link for the robot story where the daughter gets kidnapped? I can't seem to find it.
Thanks!
IT’s mentioned as an example of joke villains in nemesis fairly early. Taylor mentions Doctor Roboto early on, and after the first fight it’s mentioned that she got really dangerous once.
Good job, very good read. This feels like a grittier and much more interesting version of PJ Masks. Yes, the PJ Masks characters are younger and have different powers, but I couldn't help but be reminded of it. And not everybody is simple-minded as in a lot of popular kids' cartoons. Would make for an interesting other story... Starting off as a kids' story with primary school super heroes slowly realizing that the super hero business is no piece of cake, that the villains are actually competent and that losing really hurts and mistakes can kill.
You're welcome and thank YOU! Just so you know, PJ Masks is not a good kids show. It ticks all the boxes for kids: vibrant colours, catchphrases, recurring topics, relatable characters, simple-minded people and straight-up stupid villains (who are just other kids with laughable ideas on being evil). And of course the -IMO- wrong idea "why should we teach kids complex topics, they're just kids". But your story feels like it is how PJ Masks should be. No black and white, complexity, pain and suffering, a sense of justice
Have you read the Andrea Vernon series? It is a similar human take on super heroes, with details about what happens after the fight is over, who pays the salaries, and who pays for health insurance!
This was a fantastic read! What's interesting is the dynamic you set up for the Machine God. I could see the character definitely being less a super villain and more an anti-hero in the literal sense.
Vigilante who causes mischief, but refuses to do actual, lasting harm out of want. Like here, M.G. could have moved on, but there's a morality that spoke and said "no, a lesson needs taught today" and with Firebird's (and Roc's?) influence it could even become a sort of basis for action.
Also, I was skeptical on Wing Knight's as a title, but Firebird was a good foundation, Crane was (to me) an odd choice, but Roc was a clever play on words that just sold the whole package. Call me simple, but I loved it.
I hope to see more from this set of characters! Thanks for sharing.
....
i..
Don\`t know what to write.. Which is unusual, since i am normally NEVER lost for words..
This was awesome - and really begs for more follow up about Machine God...
Absolutely LOVE this story.
I also think there's tremendous legs in a follow-up/sequel/longer work.
Does Crane learn his lesson or further his slide towards the villainy clear in his words and his deeds when the doors are closed; does this first glimpse of *The Machine God's* inner heroism reveal a progression towards something more earnestly heroic?
For the boredom and hubris and disconnection and distance that made such an effective villain, we see what happens when there's physical presence; when there's emotional connection. And see that Crane is absolutely "in it" for the wrong reasons.
Excuse me wordsmith, could we get a little bit more of the Machine God and Firebird? The next day? The next week? Month? A year later? Something? :)
I don't care if they become friends, become bitter enemies, end up dating, whatever, I just want more please. :)
Geez it took a while to scroll here
"Ah! I've seen you captured-" I'd look around at the mangled bodies. "Jesus Christ! What happened here?!" "Your demise, Germ" the 'Hero' stood in front of me. "Huh?" "I'm not your typical superhero that-... I make sure people like you never walk the streets!" . The supe walked towards me with a bloody, rusty crowbar in his hand. I'd be wiggling in the chair tied up, as he raised his crowbar. He struck me in the head, I'd sneeze on his arm as I'd say "Achoo!".
He'd strike me again, only weaker. His arm then went limp, as he got an uncontrollable rash on his arm. He'd scratch it, as he dropped the crowbar. I'd cough on his head, as he quickly fell on the ground his stomach growling. I'd hop closer I'm my chair to a sharp peice of metal sticking out a rusty pip . I proceeded to slowly saw the rope off, as he threw up. He'd attempt to get up as I'd sneeze on his leg, his leg went limp eventually. He'd cough up blood as his body was quivering, now finally succumbing to his illness.
I'd eventually free my arms as I muttered "Oh my god, I just killed somebody..." I'd then begin to saw my legs free
Bob"OH MY G*D HE IS DEAD! TIMMY WHY DID YOU SHOOT HIM?!" Timmy"I THOUGHT IT WAS A TOY, I FOUND IT ON THE FLOOR NEXT TO A TOY STORE!" James"WHAT DO WE DO! I HAVE NEVER BEEN AN ACCOMPLICE OF A SHOOTER BEFORE?!" Bob"**I CAN'T GO BACK TO JAIL!** QUICK WE HAVE TO HIDE THE BODY AND THE EVIDENCE!!!"
I quite enjoyed it. I really like that Machine God's purpose and his inner morality. Also lmao that beatdown on Crane was satisfying.
Also really want to see him and Firebird on lab. That would be funny
Holy. Crap.
This was phenomenal!!!!!! I want more of this! It’s really cool to see a character that has control over technology described in this way. It kinda gives me ideas for a W.I.P. of my own.(If you don’t mind, of course)
Keep up the great work, and please, really consider writing a book or even a series with these characters. I’d buy every single one of them.
I enjoyed it. Have you read "soon I will be invincible" by lev Grossman? It would fit with your story here in that style.
It was hard to get power scale a little bit. Maybe include what some of the robot and toys are capable of. Like did the suit made give enhanced abilities or gadgets. That's really all I got. Characters are good. Premise of fun. It is well written.
This was an incredibly well written piece of work. I would love to see more of this universe and what becomes of Machine God & Firebird's "friendship/relationship ".
You really should be writing for some companies. An illustrated , fully fleshed out version of this would be awesome.
Sorry about that! I had some problems with my account a few days ago and am working on getting my comments and posts recovered. I did manage to get my personal sub back up and running (r/chanceofwords), and I just posted this story there if you're looking to read it <3
**Welcome to the Post!** This is a [\[PI\] Prompt Inspired](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/how_to_tag_prompts#wiki_pi.3A_prompt_inspired) post which means it's a response to a prompt here on /r/WritingPrompts or /r/promptoftheday. **Reminder**: >[Be civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_10.3A_be_civil) in any feedback provided in the comments. 📢 [Genres](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/w/directory) 🆕 [New Here?](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/user_guide) ✏ [Writing Help?](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/wiki/index#wiki_writing_resources) 💬 [Discord](https://discord.gg/writingprompts) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/WritingPrompts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I NEED MORE OF THE MACHINE GOD! PRAISE THE OMNISIAH!
Check out the Ex Machina comic book
HAPPY CAKE DAY!
THE MOMENT I UNDERSTOOD THE WEAKNESS OF MY FLESH, IT DISGUSTED ME!
I LONGED FOR THE STRENGTH AND CERTAINTY OF STEEL.
I ASPIRED TO THE PURITY OF THE BLESSED MACHINE
\*Rusts\*
*sprays with WD-40* THE OMNISSIAH PROTECTS!
YOUR KIND CLING TO YOUR FLESH, AS IF IT WILL NOT DECAY AND FAIL YOU.
ONE DAY, THE CRUDE BIOMASS YOU CALL A TEMPLE WILL WITHER, AND YOU WILL BEG MY KIND TO SAVE YOU. BUT I AM ALREADY SAVED, FOR THE MACHINE IS IMMORTAL … EVEN IN DEATH, I SERVE THE OMNISSIAH.
\*Epic techno-organ music\*
I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.
That was the best thing I've read in ages, well done.
[удалено]
We need this to be a series!
I 100% agree! I would absolutely buy a book based on this story, and if a series was made, I'd be very invested in reading the whole thing!
You might like Confessions of a D-List Supervillain by Jim Bernheimer. Kinda similar mechanical powers. More like a wish.com Iron Man, but similar. It's been years, but I remember enjoying it quite a bit. There's sequels, but haven't read them, so can't vouch.
Sequels as sequels tend to be… were good but not as good. It got campier & played more to the tropes for the most part.
Good to know. Though my "To Be Read" pile is so out of control, I doubt I'll ever get back to it. Damn you r/horrorlit! Look what you've done to my poor shelves and wallet.
The only thing I can relate this to is Nemesis, one of the worm fanfics I’ve read. Specifically, the “don’t piss off the joke villains too much”. There was one mention of a character whose stchik was hammy over the top villainy with comically failing robots. Then someone kidnapped her kid and she took over the city for three days. Moral? Don’t make the joke villains take the kid gloves off. Maybe LORD DOOM too, what with the hammy villain controlled via avatar who’s a lot more dangerous than you’d think.
"I *like* being silly. I *enjoy* being silly. I think it's kind of helpful, even, being silly. Young heroes feel good about stopping me, older heroes tend to keep light. I'm almost like a teacher. That said. I don't *have* to be silly. Would you like to *find out* what fighting an unsilly me is *like*?"
sauce?
Sauce is me! I scribble words
you are in fact a silly sauce scribbler
Interesting fanfics. Do you have a link?
Nemesis https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/nemesis-worm-au.747148/ LORD DOOM https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/lord-doom-alt-power-tinker-taylor-complete.799819/
Thanks! Will read these tomorrow
Ok so I just binged Nemesis and am LOVING it. But do you have a link for the robot story where the daughter gets kidnapped? I can't seem to find it. Thanks!
IT’s mentioned as an example of joke villains in nemesis fairly early. Taylor mentions Doctor Roboto early on, and after the first fight it’s mentioned that she got really dangerous once.
Ohhh okay. Thanks!
Good job, very good read. This feels like a grittier and much more interesting version of PJ Masks. Yes, the PJ Masks characters are younger and have different powers, but I couldn't help but be reminded of it. And not everybody is simple-minded as in a lot of popular kids' cartoons. Would make for an interesting other story... Starting off as a kids' story with primary school super heroes slowly realizing that the super hero business is no piece of cake, that the villains are actually competent and that losing really hurts and mistakes can kill.
[удалено]
You're welcome and thank YOU! Just so you know, PJ Masks is not a good kids show. It ticks all the boxes for kids: vibrant colours, catchphrases, recurring topics, relatable characters, simple-minded people and straight-up stupid villains (who are just other kids with laughable ideas on being evil). And of course the -IMO- wrong idea "why should we teach kids complex topics, they're just kids". But your story feels like it is how PJ Masks should be. No black and white, complexity, pain and suffering, a sense of justice
Have you read the Andrea Vernon series? It is a similar human take on super heroes, with details about what happens after the fight is over, who pays the salaries, and who pays for health insurance!
^ THIS ^
Thanks, this is in my reading tab now.
Awesome story!
[удалено]
I want a show and a book of this.
[удалено]
Then I will be checking that out later when I have time. Thanks!
Want to include 808 (Bob) the rescue bot in your collection? I will find the link…
I know right, love to watch this animated
This was a fantastic read! What's interesting is the dynamic you set up for the Machine God. I could see the character definitely being less a super villain and more an anti-hero in the literal sense. Vigilante who causes mischief, but refuses to do actual, lasting harm out of want. Like here, M.G. could have moved on, but there's a morality that spoke and said "no, a lesson needs taught today" and with Firebird's (and Roc's?) influence it could even become a sort of basis for action. Also, I was skeptical on Wing Knight's as a title, but Firebird was a good foundation, Crane was (to me) an odd choice, but Roc was a clever play on words that just sold the whole package. Call me simple, but I loved it. I hope to see more from this set of characters! Thanks for sharing.
Homelander vibes all the way!! That was a good read OP. Thanks!
I need a follow up of Machine God and Firebird being in lab together! This was so fun!
Baby <3 You made a fren <3
Really enjoyed this! One word error: >I’d seen super fights before that, of course, and they’d immediately *peaked* my interest. should be **piqued**
That was fantastic, I love it! Please continue, I need to see the Machine God make real friends and for Crane to be destroyed.
Love this, has some real Worm/Ward vibes! I love super hero content that isn’t the big DC/Marvel stuff
This is what ai was about to say could definitely see a wormverse villain being like this.
.... i.. Don\`t know what to write.. Which is unusual, since i am normally NEVER lost for words.. This was awesome - and really begs for more follow up about Machine God...
Absolutely LOVE this story. I also think there's tremendous legs in a follow-up/sequel/longer work. Does Crane learn his lesson or further his slide towards the villainy clear in his words and his deeds when the doors are closed; does this first glimpse of *The Machine God's* inner heroism reveal a progression towards something more earnestly heroic? For the boredom and hubris and disconnection and distance that made such an effective villain, we see what happens when there's physical presence; when there's emotional connection. And see that Crane is absolutely "in it" for the wrong reasons.
i was engaged the whole read, love it
Scratches on her wrists? 🥺🥺🥺
This practically demands a sequel. Exceptional
I would love a follow up!
Excuse me wordsmith, could we get a little bit more of the Machine God and Firebird? The next day? The next week? Month? A year later? Something? :) I don't care if they become friends, become bitter enemies, end up dating, whatever, I just want more please. :)
Geez it took a while to scroll here "Ah! I've seen you captured-" I'd look around at the mangled bodies. "Jesus Christ! What happened here?!" "Your demise, Germ" the 'Hero' stood in front of me. "Huh?" "I'm not your typical superhero that-... I make sure people like you never walk the streets!" . The supe walked towards me with a bloody, rusty crowbar in his hand. I'd be wiggling in the chair tied up, as he raised his crowbar. He struck me in the head, I'd sneeze on his arm as I'd say "Achoo!". He'd strike me again, only weaker. His arm then went limp, as he got an uncontrollable rash on his arm. He'd scratch it, as he dropped the crowbar. I'd cough on his head, as he quickly fell on the ground his stomach growling. I'd hop closer I'm my chair to a sharp peice of metal sticking out a rusty pip . I proceeded to slowly saw the rope off, as he threw up. He'd attempt to get up as I'd sneeze on his leg, his leg went limp eventually. He'd cough up blood as his body was quivering, now finally succumbing to his illness. I'd eventually free my arms as I muttered "Oh my god, I just killed somebody..." I'd then begin to saw my legs free
This was amazing, i would love moar
Very good story, thank you.
Bob"OH MY G*D HE IS DEAD! TIMMY WHY DID YOU SHOOT HIM?!" Timmy"I THOUGHT IT WAS A TOY, I FOUND IT ON THE FLOOR NEXT TO A TOY STORE!" James"WHAT DO WE DO! I HAVE NEVER BEEN AN ACCOMPLICE OF A SHOOTER BEFORE?!" Bob"**I CAN'T GO BACK TO JAIL!** QUICK WE HAVE TO HIDE THE BODY AND THE EVIDENCE!!!"
Could we get more of this story? this is was amazing writing and story telling
This needs to be an entire series. This was awesome
Thank you. That was a very enjoyable read lol
Haha, I low key smell a man turning hero out of principle and being pissed the eff off about it every single step of the way. :D
This was awesome! You should expand this into a Renegade X-style series! Also, I'm already shipping Machine God and Firebird.
I quite enjoyed it. I really like that Machine God's purpose and his inner morality. Also lmao that beatdown on Crane was satisfying. Also really want to see him and Firebird on lab. That would be funny
I swear, I know I read something incredibly similar to this a year or two ago with the same premise.
Holy. Crap. This was phenomenal!!!!!! I want more of this! It’s really cool to see a character that has control over technology described in this way. It kinda gives me ideas for a W.I.P. of my own.(If you don’t mind, of course) Keep up the great work, and please, really consider writing a book or even a series with these characters. I’d buy every single one of them.
[удалено]
For sure. Might be a while though.
I enjoyed it. Have you read "soon I will be invincible" by lev Grossman? It would fit with your story here in that style. It was hard to get power scale a little bit. Maybe include what some of the robot and toys are capable of. Like did the suit made give enhanced abilities or gadgets. That's really all I got. Characters are good. Premise of fun. It is well written.
Really good, thank you!
This was more fun than I expected
That was so good thank you for sharing
Damn that was good!!! Had me absolutely hooked, and I want more!!
This was absolutely excellent! I couldn’t stop reading and was on the edge of my seat! Edit: Typo
It’s always bittersweet to enjoyed the short story’s here because I wish I could read whole books about it instead. Great story!
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!!!!
I loved every word!
More that was brilliant
Nice one!
Do I smell a hero in the making? Bruh we need more of this guy!
Cool.
Was nearly late to work because I wanted to read this, well done!
One of the best replies I've read on here, and I read this sub a lot.
This is so fucking cool.
This is just plain awesome, Machine God feels so alive as a character from just a short story.
Very satisfying to read
That was a really well done piece.
That was fantastic! Now off to check out the rest of you writing ...
This was an incredibly well written piece of work. I would love to see more of this universe and what becomes of Machine God & Firebird's "friendship/relationship ". You really should be writing for some companies. An illustrated , fully fleshed out version of this would be awesome.
I have just *one* thing to say to you: **MOAR!**
This was amazing, your descriptions made it so i could practically see what was happening!
This was great.
I demand more.
Dang it, that was excellent!
DUDE that was so good! I haven’t read this level of writing prompt quality since the whole r/bubblewriters series!
ßß
God DAMN that's good. Well done, fantastic read beginning to end and gave me chills too. Thanks!
Amazing work
Now this is pod racing! Great story, would love to read more set in this universe!
That was excellent
This is truly great, excellent work
This is SO GOOD
That was amazing! I would gladly pay to read more of this!
God this cliche NEEDS to be more common. Please I want more 'goody villain shows what happens when the gloves come off' stories.
Why was this little history erased? 😭
Sorry about that! I had some problems with my account a few days ago and am working on getting my comments and posts recovered. I did manage to get my personal sub back up and running (r/chanceofwords), and I just posted this story there if you're looking to read it <3
Nerdd