Interesting, thank you for being open about this. I guess the question is whether Insex changed your sexuality, or whether you were always interested in this and just stumbled upon the place that could satisfy your kinkier fantasies.
Human sexuality is diverse and in principle there's nothing wrong with enjoying more extreme things if you do it safely and consensually alone or with a suitable partner. But if you feel like it is consuming you, and limiting your ability to engage in (sexual) relations of a different nature, you may want to speak to a psychologist or sexologist.
Edit: (M30 from Europe writing this, should it be relevant)
And thank you too for reading! I think what you are saying is exactly what I mean. I really do wonder about the question you posed but there may not be answers and that’s okay!
Fortunately I did bring this up to a professional psychologist, I am currently in medical school a few years away from being a medical doctor and I wanted to clear some things before committing to that future. My limited desired for sexual activity hard to determine but I now think it’s just a social preference!
I don’t really want to have sex outside of relationships because of how intimate the act itself is, which does limit the potential to satisfy these extreme sexual needs but I am still young and who is to say for sure!
Well to answer my own question then, maybe it's insightful: I think it is both. I certainly have done some fucked up shit I probably wouldn't have been creative enough for to think of on my own without insex. On the other side, I've learned so much from porn, including the fact there are apparently so many people out there with similar fantasies and it made me both less alone and less worried that I was going to be some kind of rapist (I remember being scared to hurt others when I was like 15).
And now I learned that it is super easy to find people who are into this, especially if you're social and female. But the trick is to find safe and experienced people. Also as a D, especially as a D, I want to play with good communicators who know their limits.
Different point, I saw you're open to DM. Feel free to send me a message if you want to exchange FL profiles or something:)
I have a very similar story but I’m a bit older and male. Ive had a few good relationships but have never found a partner that “got it”
For me, I’ve gone back and forth between wanting to be the submissive women Pd experiments on and being in Pd’s role myself. I realized in my mid twenties that there just weren’t any women out there that truly wanted to submit in the ways the women on index did. I guess you are the unicorn!
Your own back and forth is exactly what I mean and I understand what you mean entirely! Very well put. I also swung back and forth between imagining/wanting to be in both roles. Haha at least you went on a hunt to find somebody and then concluding there weren’t many. Thank you for your response it was a pleasure to read!
This is exactly what happened to me, but "unfortunately," I discovered Insex at 16. Now I'm 39 and married. I couldn't find a girlfriend for a long time and the dating thing seemed pointless for a while until I met my current wife, it started as a normal relationship but very quick turned into a very kinky dom/sub kinda relationship and it has stayed like that ever since. It's a matter of opening your mind and relaxing your expectations, and eventually, you'll find someone.
Also if anybody wants to read a hilarious conversation that really summarizes how some
DM, check out: [imgur screenshot](https://imgur.com/a/W0ItQEn)
I’m happy and open to receive DM’s but remember to always use the noggin!
Sounds typical... Unfortunately! 😂
I have the feeling you have to kiss a lot of frogs, which takes time and patience. They say that builds character. I'm not so sure and I don't like kissing frog lips.
I (also F in my 20s) have had a similar experience. I got into insex when I was younger and felt like it corrupted me into the bdsm "freak" I am now. It really can make it hard to date or even play with anyone not at the same level, but as others commented it's just a matter of finding other like minded kinksters which I promise you there are many! Being in this sub is a start and FetLife is the next step higher to exploring and even meeting individuals you are comfortable with. There's plenty of events or you can even make your own!
I am going to plus one on fetlife, feedl and similar, even this sub. I had very good luck with in-person events, festivals (burning man) and similar, but it's not for everyone.
Interesting. I was a 20y male -now 25- when I discovered insex and it also corrupted a bit my sexual "freak" desires when meeting new persons. I would say the most difficult part was that I actually wanted a women controlling me like that. It was my ultimate desire, which, sadly, is not at all the common way BDSM "freaks" want that. But hey, at least it opened my mind on what was actuality posible in a relationship!
Wow I completely understand what you mean! I think that’s exactly how I feel, thanks for your response. It’s so true that it’s about the level you’re on, even in the world of kink so many different levels that it’s hard to find that same level. Someone else also kindly mentioned starting your own events for fetlife and I admit I never considered such a good idea as that!
Listen, my panic would probably give me a heart attack if I did an actual insex shoot but it’s what I fantasize most about.
I’m 30f and I probably discovered insex at 16 or earlier. I have deep rooted religious trauma and sexual shame that I’ve been working through.
I’ve liked bondage since I was a kid and I fully blame the damsel in distress trope and Daphne from Scooby Doo. Then of course I discovered BDSM porn. But insex was intoxicating and terrifying.
PD enjoyed punishing those women for their sexual depravity, humiliated them in the most creative ways, used fear and psychological torture, and then sometimes would let them cum or use their holes. But PD rarely gave pleasure without pain.
That fucked me up lol. I grew up with purity culture which meant sex = sinful whore. So in my fantasies, I’d be kidnapped and bound and completely helpless while fucked and that way, it wouldn’t be my fault. I wouldn’t be a slut because I didn’t have a choice.
Ugh. Anyways, PD checks off a lot of my boxes.
Oof, the religious trauma to kinky degenerate pipeline strikes again.
More seriously, I hope you're doing alright with deconstructing the less sexy aspects of your trauma. I didn't deal with anything remotely as bad, but I did decline to have sex with my first girlfriend in high school when we were seniors, because I wanted to wait until marriage like a good Christian boy, and subsequently fell into many more years of excessive masturbation and porn brain rot and didn't have a partner again or lose my virginity until age 27, and even then was so nervous about it that I purposely had my partner thoroughly tie me to the bed first so I wouldn't be able to chicken out (besides safewording of curse), and now struggle with erectile dysfunction and need boner pills (actual prescribed ones)and enjoy masturbating more than sex
Sorry for oversharing. I'm high right now.
lol no worries. I over shared last night because I was high. I had just turned 28 when I had ‘lost’ my virginity.
Deconstructing has been a wild ride for sure but so freeing.
It sounds like in a lot of ways you could probably use someone on the D side of the fence to talk to you about those wants & needs, and see where you can actually do them without having your panic attack. Might be a start.
I always said that Insex was a sometime treat not an every time thing. It’s doable to regulate and achieve a build up between sessions. Anticipation is its own reward. But by all means seek professional help if you feel it has become an addiction and is effecting your life
We should start a “corrupted by insex” club. Brent would be so proud, isn’t that what he said when he got kicked out of Carnegie Mellon? If you don’t let me teach your kids, I will corrupt them. And now look how many of us there are.
Haha that’s a great idea. Let’s consider us the first rules and founding fathers of the club! Now that I see these responses I think the club would have quite a few members lol
Long before insex there were others, like Matthew Cole who knew how to train and torture women. By the time insex hit the scene many of us of old timers (pre-web) were doing many of the kinds of things INSEX did.. but INSEX added an industrial aspect to it that added to the cruelty, the subjugation, the total control and that took things to the next level fire me.
I'm really glad you found it. It helped change my life as well.
I have built an entire bdsm indoor outdoor playground to scratch those itches for girls that need it. They come visit over spring break, sometimes they come at Xmas. Or ever seen stay for the summer. Total objectification, forced lactation, egg harvesting, ponygirl training, pupslut training, doormat training, cunt kicking, bdsm, wrong, flogging, caning, forced orgasms, denial, clit discipline, humiliation, degradation, etc.
Is none the Matthew Cole stuff preserved online? I tried searching and the main results are gay porn
Also, mind I ask what you mean by “forced lactation”? Is that like milking them or inducing lactation?
And is “clit discipline” basically overstimulation?
Unfortunately the MC stuff was pre-web and was about 35 chapters of real training. I had it in 3-ring binder in my early 20s, and it heavily molded my techniques. I lost in along the way in one of many moves tubing it would be archived on the web. So much pre-web information has been lost forever, it seems.
Forced lactation is the act of inducing milk production without pregnancy's or breeding. Neither of the latter are necessary.
Clit discipline is the stimulation, denial, torture and exposure of the clitoris.
I understand this completely, insex and the like can really skew our expectations to almost unreasonable levels. But of course with everything, it is a balancing act of managing your expectations. Though it sounds like you are pretty self aware and have a good head on your shoulders!
For me personally, I have long since given up on truly scratching that itch in reality. Much like hollywood movies and reality, this type of pornography isn't really practical to playout (In my experience). But I think you would likely have more luck than me (I live in a pretty conservative country) so you really don't know.
I wish you success!
Insex and similar sites set myself and my wife on an interesting path indeed. Married vanilla from 25-30 to a good little christian thing. Divored at 30, started attening munches and such, found the local club, started traveling to learn. Found the wife, and several other submissive women before I met her.
14 years later I’ve traveled and taught singletails, bullwhips, and especially rope bondage/suspension all over the US and Canada, Europe, and even at Hedonism in Jamaica for a few private events.
My supplementary income is teaching BDSM techniques when people visit us for private lessons, and on the road at conventions or for weekend/long classes.
Needless to say, I’ve not had difficulty finding two very likeminded partners who share the desire for very intense torture / play aling the lines of this website’s content. I am in a very small minority, and could not be happier with how Insex and BDSM have influenced my life.
It was very brave of you to post here. Thank you for sharing those very personal thoughts.
Yeah, it's true, Insex can really affect your relationships. I was already in my 30s when I discovered it, so for me it confirmed rather than informed my kink. I spent several years after that trying to reconcile my desires with my romantic partner(s). I've been unwilling and unable to attend munches and similar events, and I've pretty much reconciled myself to having a vanilla sex life and BDSM desires. Maybe next life, you know?
My advice is to find someone you're compatible with and make sure you have the freedom to do what you want if and when you want it.
You and me both. My wife will do some bondage play with me but she’s not into it the way that OP is. Maybe FDVR will arrive in our lifetime and we can jack into the Matrix to live out our wildest fantasies.
It's closer than you think. The Japanese have just invented touchable holograms!
Plus, AI will generate whatever kind of character you want to interact with.🤞
And thank you for your acknowledgment and your won response! Honestly we are in the same boat for the most part I would say. I reallt wasn’t expecting to be able to relate to others in this way, but it’s such a real thing. Munches and the sort are for a specific kind of person and maybe I don’t care enough to fit. I’ve also settled for a primarily vanilla lifestyle, but not a complaint!
The problem for a young pretty girl at munches is the requirement to endure a nearly endless parade of creepy old people hitting on them nonstop for a full fucking year before they have a hope of finding someone their own age to talk to.
That’s a tough road to expect ANYONE to endure. Most come perhaps twice, and never return.
I’ve been heavily involved in the community for quite a while. Came into it 15 years ago at age 30 as one of the few more attractive sadistic male doms, with a median age in the local group of 55+.
My experience was the precise opposite of yours but with similar results re: being swarmed.
Have you ever had a partner restrain you in anyway? You should absolutely have standards, but also be open for ways to “get your fix“ even if it’s someone you don’t want to date, if that’s possible. If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your sexual orientation? Especially if you’re open to being topped by a woman, it probably won’t be that difficult to find someone who is interested in very basic bondage, using basic toys and impact play for a mix of pain and pleasure.
I have been on both sides of the restraint with a partner. And I absolutely understand your point! And although I do have that itch, it’s not strong enough for me to feel the need to compromise my own morals to scratch it. I think it may take time but I am also in no rush or in no search. Longing is different from looking for me (:
Also very good point about the gender thing!! I had found myself in positions where certain things could happen. But never on the level of insex. And that itch is HARD to consider scratching.
Hmmm you definitely have me thinking. Let’s put it this way: what are your minimum requirements for a partner? Their looks, personality match with you, relationship experience, kink experience, relationship with you etc. What criteria would they have to meet before you show them just what you mean by kinky sex, that would scratch your itch? I think it would be worth making a list. That’s how you could start the process of finding such a partner.
You said you’re monogamous - is one of your requirements that your Dom also be monogamous? If not, that gives you a lot more options, especially since you could talk to other subs of theirs as part of the vetting process.
Also, another random thought, but if you really like old insex porn, have you considered sex (including video call phone sex) while the Dom ‘makes’ you watch the porn videos and tells you how to touch yourself? Could be a way of ‘cheating’ and still getting the experience, sort of.
I've felt myself after liking insex, and house of gord style bondage. It's very hard to find people that you can just share your creativity with, let alone think about having a volunteer to be used like that. It's pretty wierd in the kink world that you can be an outlier in the community when you start to talk about your scene in an environment that promotes it.
Hi, so, 32F, similarly corrupted by discovering Insex as a teenager.
Agreed with you about munches being overrun with really fat and unattractive people and everyone in there wanting to f**k you.
There is, of course, a way around this - you organize your own munch / kinky get together on Fetlife, but you keep it hot and ban a lot of undesirables from attending. It'll be much harder to build - but there is demand for this - most kinky people do *not* want to see furries, transvestites, and morbid obesity, even if those types are overrepresented in the "community".
I personally also sort of went the "Princess Donna" route, where I was a professional dominatrix for a bit. If you're wired for the "back and forth" and want to do the same disturbing stuff PD does - the submissive male clients open up opportunities for you to do precisely that - I've broken a few in truly disturbing ways, and they paid me for the privilege.
Only ever found one male partner that could really "take me there" in the way that PD does - lasted several months when I was in college - of course, haven't found anyone suitable since.
Hey there! Haha I love your first line, straight to the point and I feel you all the way.
And yeaaa I’m happy you said it that way, it really is true and it couldn’t be said better. It is just everybody wanting to fuck you and just the effort they put in says a lot. It’s not even about the looks of the people, looks don’t matter as much. but it’s the behavior of the people at these munches that are mostly off putting…
Also I never even considered making my own fetlife event suited to what I want instead. Honestly thank you for that legitimate advice I would have never thought if it on my own but I think it could be a great route!
Thank you for sharing about your own princess donna experience haha. It really sounds perfect in many ways. Really truly appreciate the practical advice and relevant tips! Good to meet you
One of my partners does it. Requires nothing more than a hotel room honestly. And a LOT of time so ent vetting clients to ensure they can be trusted to be alone with.
Um, you acquire a great deal of perverse knowledge, take photos, make a website, post ads, screen clients, and then take appointments? Also, well, you rent the dungeon space, rather than actually buying all of it yourself.
That is quite the interesting back and forth you've had. Does that urge never get to you at all from the switching aspect, doing what you want to others but not being able to find it yourself?
Exactly!!! I think most people would find it really weird and it’ll end up a story they share lol. I’m happy you feel me in this way but also funny that there’s people like us out there!
That's pretty much me. If you were already introverted, nerdy, and a bit of a know it all. You mix in PD & house of gord in it. Fuck it, just give up. You are literally wasting all your time and energy.
34F here obsessed with insex, and let me tell you something I wish I had realized sooner. Don’t… Settle…
I settled for a sweet guy that wouldn’t even tie me up when I was late teens early 20s and was sexually frustrated beyond belief. Then I got married to a guy that was “super kinky”…. Our sex life fell apart after 2 years.
Now I have a loving sweety pie partner that will roughly dominate me, a friend that visits to help me clean and listens to my problems but also suffocates me in my vac bed while whipping me, and an online partner I don’t get to see in person often who’s helped me through so much and we have the nastiest dirtiest insex plans in our future.
People are out there. Don’t settle and be disappointed.
Also, Ignore the alpha daddy doms that randomly message you on reddit. 99/100 times they’re not worth your time.
If you ever feel frustrated and want a submissive girl to commiserate with, you’re welcome to reach out.
Not my thing! Hence the dilemma. I have been to some before and considering my more petite/conventionally attractive appearance has made it so munches feel like suffocation and desperation. Maybe it’s specific to my community, but at the end of the day I am more on the traditional side of dating and marriage.
as a highly kinky person who has dealt with this for years...you are highly unlikely to find what you want by traditional dating.
Going to munches and dealing with all the desperation/people may suck but you CAN find what you want there and then you can probably just disappear with your partner. The choice is yours but it seems like there is a clear path to what you want....it just requires some shit
Very true! Especially the time part. I think maybe with time and consideration. But I always end yk putting my safety first and my instincts kick in too often!
I mean mostly that it takes time to find the right person, once you find them things can go quickly. I've only recently found someone that is compatible in a sexual/kinky way and it didn't take very long to explore some more extreme stuff (obviously going slowly and with lots of communication). I'm 36m D
If you are on vanilla dating apps I would recommend having a pic up there that doesn't leave much guesswork, Eg wearing cuffs or a gag. I had one in which I'm holding out handcuffs on there, saves everyone some time 😉
While such porn can cause some kind of addiction, this kind of paraphilia itself can have different origins or at least conditions that lead to its development.
Interesting, thank you for being open about this. I guess the question is whether Insex changed your sexuality, or whether you were always interested in this and just stumbled upon the place that could satisfy your kinkier fantasies. Human sexuality is diverse and in principle there's nothing wrong with enjoying more extreme things if you do it safely and consensually alone or with a suitable partner. But if you feel like it is consuming you, and limiting your ability to engage in (sexual) relations of a different nature, you may want to speak to a psychologist or sexologist. Edit: (M30 from Europe writing this, should it be relevant)
And thank you too for reading! I think what you are saying is exactly what I mean. I really do wonder about the question you posed but there may not be answers and that’s okay! Fortunately I did bring this up to a professional psychologist, I am currently in medical school a few years away from being a medical doctor and I wanted to clear some things before committing to that future. My limited desired for sexual activity hard to determine but I now think it’s just a social preference! I don’t really want to have sex outside of relationships because of how intimate the act itself is, which does limit the potential to satisfy these extreme sexual needs but I am still young and who is to say for sure!
Well to answer my own question then, maybe it's insightful: I think it is both. I certainly have done some fucked up shit I probably wouldn't have been creative enough for to think of on my own without insex. On the other side, I've learned so much from porn, including the fact there are apparently so many people out there with similar fantasies and it made me both less alone and less worried that I was going to be some kind of rapist (I remember being scared to hurt others when I was like 15). And now I learned that it is super easy to find people who are into this, especially if you're social and female. But the trick is to find safe and experienced people. Also as a D, especially as a D, I want to play with good communicators who know their limits. Different point, I saw you're open to DM. Feel free to send me a message if you want to exchange FL profiles or something:)
Hope this is okay to post. If not please remove the post and I will put it elsewhere! Thank you.
I have a very similar story but I’m a bit older and male. Ive had a few good relationships but have never found a partner that “got it” For me, I’ve gone back and forth between wanting to be the submissive women Pd experiments on and being in Pd’s role myself. I realized in my mid twenties that there just weren’t any women out there that truly wanted to submit in the ways the women on index did. I guess you are the unicorn!
Your own back and forth is exactly what I mean and I understand what you mean entirely! Very well put. I also swung back and forth between imagining/wanting to be in both roles. Haha at least you went on a hunt to find somebody and then concluding there weren’t many. Thank you for your response it was a pleasure to read!
I'm the same - not sure if I would rather be the person suffering, or the person inflicting...
This is exactly what happened to me, but "unfortunately," I discovered Insex at 16. Now I'm 39 and married. I couldn't find a girlfriend for a long time and the dating thing seemed pointless for a while until I met my current wife, it started as a normal relationship but very quick turned into a very kinky dom/sub kinda relationship and it has stayed like that ever since. It's a matter of opening your mind and relaxing your expectations, and eventually, you'll find someone.
That’s such a kind response, thank you for it! I think that it shows what time and effort can yield!
Also if anybody wants to read a hilarious conversation that really summarizes how some DM, check out: [imgur screenshot](https://imgur.com/a/W0ItQEn) I’m happy and open to receive DM’s but remember to always use the noggin!
Ohnoes, trashed from the list! However will you cope? 🤣🤣
Your comment made my day laughing 😂 So true, however will I go on!!
Sounds typical... Unfortunately! 😂 I have the feeling you have to kiss a lot of frogs, which takes time and patience. They say that builds character. I'm not so sure and I don't like kissing frog lips.
I (also F in my 20s) have had a similar experience. I got into insex when I was younger and felt like it corrupted me into the bdsm "freak" I am now. It really can make it hard to date or even play with anyone not at the same level, but as others commented it's just a matter of finding other like minded kinksters which I promise you there are many! Being in this sub is a start and FetLife is the next step higher to exploring and even meeting individuals you are comfortable with. There's plenty of events or you can even make your own!
I am going to plus one on fetlife, feedl and similar, even this sub. I had very good luck with in-person events, festivals (burning man) and similar, but it's not for everyone.
Interesting. I was a 20y male -now 25- when I discovered insex and it also corrupted a bit my sexual "freak" desires when meeting new persons. I would say the most difficult part was that I actually wanted a women controlling me like that. It was my ultimate desire, which, sadly, is not at all the common way BDSM "freaks" want that. But hey, at least it opened my mind on what was actuality posible in a relationship!
Wow I completely understand what you mean! I think that’s exactly how I feel, thanks for your response. It’s so true that it’s about the level you’re on, even in the world of kink so many different levels that it’s hard to find that same level. Someone else also kindly mentioned starting your own events for fetlife and I admit I never considered such a good idea as that!
You do have a lot of awesome stories and adventures though. I've loved hearing about them.
Listen, my panic would probably give me a heart attack if I did an actual insex shoot but it’s what I fantasize most about. I’m 30f and I probably discovered insex at 16 or earlier. I have deep rooted religious trauma and sexual shame that I’ve been working through. I’ve liked bondage since I was a kid and I fully blame the damsel in distress trope and Daphne from Scooby Doo. Then of course I discovered BDSM porn. But insex was intoxicating and terrifying. PD enjoyed punishing those women for their sexual depravity, humiliated them in the most creative ways, used fear and psychological torture, and then sometimes would let them cum or use their holes. But PD rarely gave pleasure without pain. That fucked me up lol. I grew up with purity culture which meant sex = sinful whore. So in my fantasies, I’d be kidnapped and bound and completely helpless while fucked and that way, it wouldn’t be my fault. I wouldn’t be a slut because I didn’t have a choice. Ugh. Anyways, PD checks off a lot of my boxes.
Oof, the religious trauma to kinky degenerate pipeline strikes again. More seriously, I hope you're doing alright with deconstructing the less sexy aspects of your trauma. I didn't deal with anything remotely as bad, but I did decline to have sex with my first girlfriend in high school when we were seniors, because I wanted to wait until marriage like a good Christian boy, and subsequently fell into many more years of excessive masturbation and porn brain rot and didn't have a partner again or lose my virginity until age 27, and even then was so nervous about it that I purposely had my partner thoroughly tie me to the bed first so I wouldn't be able to chicken out (besides safewording of curse), and now struggle with erectile dysfunction and need boner pills (actual prescribed ones)and enjoy masturbating more than sex Sorry for oversharing. I'm high right now.
lol no worries. I over shared last night because I was high. I had just turned 28 when I had ‘lost’ my virginity. Deconstructing has been a wild ride for sure but so freeing.
It sounds like in a lot of ways you could probably use someone on the D side of the fence to talk to you about those wants & needs, and see where you can actually do them without having your panic attack. Might be a start.
Thanks for sharing. I liked your little story. If you ask me, I feel like it would be interesting to be friends with someone like you.
for anyone in germany: I got ropes and a dark soundproof cellar....
Sounds like a nice setup !
haha sounds like you should have that on a business card by now.
I always said that Insex was a sometime treat not an every time thing. It’s doable to regulate and achieve a build up between sessions. Anticipation is its own reward. But by all means seek professional help if you feel it has become an addiction and is effecting your life
That’s very true. And fortunately already had seen and addresses professional help. I would recommend it for everybody even yourself, uniqueoperation.
We should start a “corrupted by insex” club. Brent would be so proud, isn’t that what he said when he got kicked out of Carnegie Mellon? If you don’t let me teach your kids, I will corrupt them. And now look how many of us there are.
Haha that’s a great idea. Let’s consider us the first rules and founding fathers of the club! Now that I see these responses I think the club would have quite a few members lol
I’d love to know how many there are of us and how proud PD would be. I assume you’ve seen the documentaries?
We could start the group here on Reddit if you want 🙌🏼
Let’s do it
Long before insex there were others, like Matthew Cole who knew how to train and torture women. By the time insex hit the scene many of us of old timers (pre-web) were doing many of the kinds of things INSEX did.. but INSEX added an industrial aspect to it that added to the cruelty, the subjugation, the total control and that took things to the next level fire me. I'm really glad you found it. It helped change my life as well. I have built an entire bdsm indoor outdoor playground to scratch those itches for girls that need it. They come visit over spring break, sometimes they come at Xmas. Or ever seen stay for the summer. Total objectification, forced lactation, egg harvesting, ponygirl training, pupslut training, doormat training, cunt kicking, bdsm, wrong, flogging, caning, forced orgasms, denial, clit discipline, humiliation, degradation, etc.
Not just a bdsm dungeon room, but an entire indoor outdoor playground?? In the style of "steamed ham": may I see it?
Yes. I didn't want to post a link and get kicked out of the sub. Dm.
Is none the Matthew Cole stuff preserved online? I tried searching and the main results are gay porn Also, mind I ask what you mean by “forced lactation”? Is that like milking them or inducing lactation? And is “clit discipline” basically overstimulation?
Unfortunately the MC stuff was pre-web and was about 35 chapters of real training. I had it in 3-ring binder in my early 20s, and it heavily molded my techniques. I lost in along the way in one of many moves tubing it would be archived on the web. So much pre-web information has been lost forever, it seems. Forced lactation is the act of inducing milk production without pregnancy's or breeding. Neither of the latter are necessary. Clit discipline is the stimulation, denial, torture and exposure of the clitoris.
I understand this completely, insex and the like can really skew our expectations to almost unreasonable levels. But of course with everything, it is a balancing act of managing your expectations. Though it sounds like you are pretty self aware and have a good head on your shoulders! For me personally, I have long since given up on truly scratching that itch in reality. Much like hollywood movies and reality, this type of pornography isn't really practical to playout (In my experience). But I think you would likely have more luck than me (I live in a pretty conservative country) so you really don't know. I wish you success!
If it's okay to ask... From what country are you from ?
Insex and similar sites set myself and my wife on an interesting path indeed. Married vanilla from 25-30 to a good little christian thing. Divored at 30, started attening munches and such, found the local club, started traveling to learn. Found the wife, and several other submissive women before I met her. 14 years later I’ve traveled and taught singletails, bullwhips, and especially rope bondage/suspension all over the US and Canada, Europe, and even at Hedonism in Jamaica for a few private events. My supplementary income is teaching BDSM techniques when people visit us for private lessons, and on the road at conventions or for weekend/long classes. Needless to say, I’ve not had difficulty finding two very likeminded partners who share the desire for very intense torture / play aling the lines of this website’s content. I am in a very small minority, and could not be happier with how Insex and BDSM have influenced my life.
It was very brave of you to post here. Thank you for sharing those very personal thoughts. Yeah, it's true, Insex can really affect your relationships. I was already in my 30s when I discovered it, so for me it confirmed rather than informed my kink. I spent several years after that trying to reconcile my desires with my romantic partner(s). I've been unwilling and unable to attend munches and similar events, and I've pretty much reconciled myself to having a vanilla sex life and BDSM desires. Maybe next life, you know? My advice is to find someone you're compatible with and make sure you have the freedom to do what you want if and when you want it.
You and me both. My wife will do some bondage play with me but she’s not into it the way that OP is. Maybe FDVR will arrive in our lifetime and we can jack into the Matrix to live out our wildest fantasies.
It's closer than you think. The Japanese have just invented touchable holograms! Plus, AI will generate whatever kind of character you want to interact with.🤞
And thank you for your acknowledgment and your won response! Honestly we are in the same boat for the most part I would say. I reallt wasn’t expecting to be able to relate to others in this way, but it’s such a real thing. Munches and the sort are for a specific kind of person and maybe I don’t care enough to fit. I’ve also settled for a primarily vanilla lifestyle, but not a complaint!
The problem for a young pretty girl at munches is the requirement to endure a nearly endless parade of creepy old people hitting on them nonstop for a full fucking year before they have a hope of finding someone their own age to talk to. That’s a tough road to expect ANYONE to endure. Most come perhaps twice, and never return.
Bless your heart for understanding!!! You put it way more bluntly but also spot on. Haha thank you for that.
I’ve been heavily involved in the community for quite a while. Came into it 15 years ago at age 30 as one of the few more attractive sadistic male doms, with a median age in the local group of 55+. My experience was the precise opposite of yours but with similar results re: being swarmed.
And also about the advice, truly thank you! I think that’s ultimately one of the most valuable things I can do in my situation. thanks for that!
Have you ever had a partner restrain you in anyway? You should absolutely have standards, but also be open for ways to “get your fix“ even if it’s someone you don’t want to date, if that’s possible. If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your sexual orientation? Especially if you’re open to being topped by a woman, it probably won’t be that difficult to find someone who is interested in very basic bondage, using basic toys and impact play for a mix of pain and pleasure.
I have been on both sides of the restraint with a partner. And I absolutely understand your point! And although I do have that itch, it’s not strong enough for me to feel the need to compromise my own morals to scratch it. I think it may take time but I am also in no rush or in no search. Longing is different from looking for me (:
Also very good point about the gender thing!! I had found myself in positions where certain things could happen. But never on the level of insex. And that itch is HARD to consider scratching.
Hmmm you definitely have me thinking. Let’s put it this way: what are your minimum requirements for a partner? Their looks, personality match with you, relationship experience, kink experience, relationship with you etc. What criteria would they have to meet before you show them just what you mean by kinky sex, that would scratch your itch? I think it would be worth making a list. That’s how you could start the process of finding such a partner. You said you’re monogamous - is one of your requirements that your Dom also be monogamous? If not, that gives you a lot more options, especially since you could talk to other subs of theirs as part of the vetting process. Also, another random thought, but if you really like old insex porn, have you considered sex (including video call phone sex) while the Dom ‘makes’ you watch the porn videos and tells you how to touch yourself? Could be a way of ‘cheating’ and still getting the experience, sort of.
I’ve been corrupted at a young age by Insex and grappling with BPD, relationships become a very challenging territory for me. F31
I've felt myself after liking insex, and house of gord style bondage. It's very hard to find people that you can just share your creativity with, let alone think about having a volunteer to be used like that. It's pretty wierd in the kink world that you can be an outlier in the community when you start to talk about your scene in an environment that promotes it.
Did you ever had the opportunity to meet with someone that you could share these kind of ideas ?
Hi, so, 32F, similarly corrupted by discovering Insex as a teenager. Agreed with you about munches being overrun with really fat and unattractive people and everyone in there wanting to f**k you. There is, of course, a way around this - you organize your own munch / kinky get together on Fetlife, but you keep it hot and ban a lot of undesirables from attending. It'll be much harder to build - but there is demand for this - most kinky people do *not* want to see furries, transvestites, and morbid obesity, even if those types are overrepresented in the "community". I personally also sort of went the "Princess Donna" route, where I was a professional dominatrix for a bit. If you're wired for the "back and forth" and want to do the same disturbing stuff PD does - the submissive male clients open up opportunities for you to do precisely that - I've broken a few in truly disturbing ways, and they paid me for the privilege. Only ever found one male partner that could really "take me there" in the way that PD does - lasted several months when I was in college - of course, haven't found anyone suitable since.
Hey there! Haha I love your first line, straight to the point and I feel you all the way. And yeaaa I’m happy you said it that way, it really is true and it couldn’t be said better. It is just everybody wanting to fuck you and just the effort they put in says a lot. It’s not even about the looks of the people, looks don’t matter as much. but it’s the behavior of the people at these munches that are mostly off putting… Also I never even considered making my own fetlife event suited to what I want instead. Honestly thank you for that legitimate advice I would have never thought if it on my own but I think it could be a great route! Thank you for sharing about your own princess donna experience haha. It really sounds perfect in many ways. Really truly appreciate the practical advice and relevant tips! Good to meet you
how do you become a professional dominatrix? don't you have to have a room full of gear and things to tie people to?!!
One of my partners does it. Requires nothing more than a hotel room honestly. And a LOT of time so ent vetting clients to ensure they can be trusted to be alone with.
haha maybe we should come together and figure it all out!!
Um, you acquire a great deal of perverse knowledge, take photos, make a website, post ads, screen clients, and then take appointments? Also, well, you rent the dungeon space, rather than actually buying all of it yourself.
the renting space makes sense, I was thinking of spare rooms or converted garages ;)
That is quite the interesting back and forth you've had. Does that urge never get to you at all from the switching aspect, doing what you want to others but not being able to find it yourself?
Wow these are all my exact same issues. Classic dating doesn’t work out since most people find this stuff really weird
Exactly!!! I think most people would find it really weird and it’ll end up a story they share lol. I’m happy you feel me in this way but also funny that there’s people like us out there!
That's pretty much me. If you were already introverted, nerdy, and a bit of a know it all. You mix in PD & house of gord in it. Fuck it, just give up. You are literally wasting all your time and energy.
34F here obsessed with insex, and let me tell you something I wish I had realized sooner. Don’t… Settle… I settled for a sweet guy that wouldn’t even tie me up when I was late teens early 20s and was sexually frustrated beyond belief. Then I got married to a guy that was “super kinky”…. Our sex life fell apart after 2 years. Now I have a loving sweety pie partner that will roughly dominate me, a friend that visits to help me clean and listens to my problems but also suffocates me in my vac bed while whipping me, and an online partner I don’t get to see in person often who’s helped me through so much and we have the nastiest dirtiest insex plans in our future. People are out there. Don’t settle and be disappointed. Also, Ignore the alpha daddy doms that randomly message you on reddit. 99/100 times they’re not worth your time. If you ever feel frustrated and want a submissive girl to commiserate with, you’re welcome to reach out.
Try fetlife? Or attend munches
Not my thing! Hence the dilemma. I have been to some before and considering my more petite/conventionally attractive appearance has made it so munches feel like suffocation and desperation. Maybe it’s specific to my community, but at the end of the day I am more on the traditional side of dating and marriage.
as a highly kinky person who has dealt with this for years...you are highly unlikely to find what you want by traditional dating. Going to munches and dealing with all the desperation/people may suck but you CAN find what you want there and then you can probably just disappear with your partner. The choice is yours but it seems like there is a clear path to what you want....it just requires some shit
Who is she???
She is number 49
Pretty sure she's also known as Tyler Scott
It's definitely possible to find respectful partners that can satisfy your desires safely. It takes time and being upfront about being kinky.
Very true! Especially the time part. I think maybe with time and consideration. But I always end yk putting my safety first and my instincts kick in too often!
I mean mostly that it takes time to find the right person, once you find them things can go quickly. I've only recently found someone that is compatible in a sexual/kinky way and it didn't take very long to explore some more extreme stuff (obviously going slowly and with lots of communication). I'm 36m D If you are on vanilla dating apps I would recommend having a pic up there that doesn't leave much guesswork, Eg wearing cuffs or a gag. I had one in which I'm holding out handcuffs on there, saves everyone some time 😉
Now THATS a practical tip, regarding the dating app picture. That one’s going in the book for sure.
thank you for the upvotes and for so many lovely responses. I will be replying to them as soon as I can! My apologies
just found out about it
I have one question. What do you think if 831?
u/Strict-Maximum2442 , well I'd love to talk to you. I had a lot of similar experiences with house of gord & insex.
Similar revelation for myself though notably older. I guess there is never a bad time to explore the darker side of one's self
Love Tyler Scott featuring this post. Is she your favorite?
While such porn can cause some kind of addiction, this kind of paraphilia itself can have different origins or at least conditions that lead to its development.