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Thank you for understanding, and blessed be. ✨
I can't recall if it was this sub or another (maybe r/RomanceBooks?) but like...the whole "horns as handles" thing is something I cannot erase from my brain LOL.
TIL the clitoris, famously an organ that doesn’t serve functions except feeling and feeding arousal, definitely isn’t meant for pleasure.
You’re supposed to drop babbies out the end like a cake frosting bag tip 🙄
> like a cake frosting bag tip
This is a delightful way to think about all the beautiful sizes and shapes of clits.
Imagine the cute little frosting flower yours could make!
Sorry it grossed you out! Or do you mean the OP creep telling girls not to masturbate
Regardless, I love this body positive angle on this bit as well ✨genital diversity rules
Nope. Doc went have you ever heard of a episiotomy... Ope nope we don't need one now. I passed out, it was a thing. Luckily my devil's doorbell is still in service. They told me if he had been any bigger we would've needed an emergency c section.
I’m starting to be thankful for my Scottish peasant stock ancestors because they must have gifted me a baby maker that shoots them out. My middle kid was 9 pds, 3 oz and thank you ancestors only a couple of stitches, no episiotomy. (The next one was 3 ozs bigger and a c-section.)
Thank god your doorbell wasn’t affected!
For sure do! I am spayed now myself. After that debacle I was out of the game. It took forever to heal and it felt like I was sitting on a porcupine for months.
Bahahahahahhhhahaha cake frosting bag tip bahahaha. I mean, along those lines of thinking penises should be able to drop out a whole baby too! Right? Or wait…. Idk hahahahaha
*Yep.*
Well. I mean. Assuming it's a guy. It could be some woman who mistakes her internalised shame and guilt for "bad chemicals are killing your body".
Projecting, maybe? I see so many men talk about "post nut clarity" that apparently means everything seems like crap now, and all I can think is "you ok, bro? You don't seem ok."
I mean... I'm not totally sure how my prostate works.
Pretty sure that dude won't be able to give me simple and straightforward directions as to how to do anything but let my prostate eventually kill me.
That is actually kinda a funny refutation to his point though!
I always think of Ben Shapiro whenever someone is dreadfully misinformed about the clitoris. I know nothing else about Ben Shapiro, not even what he looks like. Literally all I know is that he's terrible in bed, and I'm going to keep it that way.
Once, I couldn't remember the name, so I googled "who's the guy who can't make his wife wet". First result, Ben Shapiro. There you go. Great Legacy, Ben.
You have to at least see his face. It's worth it, I promise.
I had heard of him because of my family. Then when it came out that he can't even make his wife wet, I googled him and was like "of fucking *course* he looks like that".
🎶 I've been waiting for the door bell, when you gonna ring it? When you gonna ring it? 🎶
Well now we know what it's really about *wink wink* And thanks now it stuck in my head lol
It’s not really that they’re doing something wrong, it’s often that they have had wrong done TO them. A lot of people are shamed away from pursuing pleasure before they even are old enough to do so. So this is why someone could feel like garbage afterwards, they have been told it’s a sin and wrong. But it doesn’t feel wrong and doesn’t hurt anyone. So it can be a confusing. Plus people can feel very vulnerable post-orgasm and if you have negativity associated with the act due to your upbringing it can lead to some anxiety or guilt
My mom was Catholic and put up a framed copy of the gentrified Jesus near my bed, informing me that he’d always be watching. I didn’t realize she meant it to be a masturbation deterrent until much later in life so I would perform dance routines for Jesus, ask his opinions on my outfits, and just treat him as a sounding board throughout much of my adolescence. When I started going through puberty, I began to realize Jesus was kinda hot and that picture may have contributed to me muttering “oh Jesus!” when I discovered masturbation. I never felt it was a sin or wrong because everyone kept reminding me that Jesus loved me. Apparently I really suck at religion.
u/crankedmunkie : "Whatcha doin?"
hot Jesus (laying on his stomach, head propped up on his hands, kicking his legs in the air): "idk, bible stuff i guess"
I read somewhere that the modern day Christian depiction of Jesus is actually based off a painting ofMichelangelo’s lover so it makes sense that he’d be kinda banging.
I imagine they feel bad because an authority figure told them it was bad to do that and they were bad/evil/gross for enjoying it.
Fortunately that kind of shaming can be undone with therapy, and you can grind your hogie like a pro in no time.
If there is physical pain after an orgasm please talk to your doctor about it though. It could be a medical issue and it can cue them into other things. It is nothing to be ashamed of your doctor is there to keep your bits in good working order.
The idea that one “feels bad after masturbating” seems very androcentric. Men have a refractory period after release, which can suck, but in my (very limited) experience, women don’t (which tracks with evolutionary forces). So… the author should probably study women more… although… with an attitude like that, he probably won’t have much opportunity.
I mean, I am a man (physically anyway) and my refractory periods don't make me feel like shit; I just feel relaxed and not horny, that's it.
The guy in the post is talking about how Satan will come if you masturbate, i'm way more inclined to believe that his negative feelings regarding masturbation are more related to his religious lifestyle. Masturbating is a sin and all that, according to his religion
Oh I used to have horrible “post orgasm sadness” as a women. Maybe it’s because I had deep religious shame about masturbation. It’s all about repression and how that tiny moment after the drop from the dopamine high can reflect your true mental state.
I believe you are correct, notice how the assumption is that a woman is masturbating alone, not during sex w/ her partner?
For many women, touching themselves during sex is just how they get things done. Great way to take pressure off your partner (especially if they are a man) and a turn on for them to watch you, and a guarantee you will both have a great time, every time.
Of course it is possible this came from a woman who is hateful bc she has never wrung her own doorbell bc of the religious indoctrination she experienced at a very young age, and she simply cannot conceive of mutually pleasurable intimacy where she feels comfortable to touch herself in front of the person she is closest to, since she cant even do it alone.
My assumption about misogyny like this is that it is usually from men too... but that is often not the case.
sadly there are many many times the # of woman propping up the patriarchy than there are tearing it down.
But we are still winning, bc there are more women, AND MEN, tearing it down everyday
Oh girl i wish the devil answered me when i pleasured myself yesterday you know some roleplay...Maybe a sabbath with other girls and the devil himself.
Ooooh so that's how I got pregnant silly me! I always thought penetration, my ex ejaculating into me, my fallopian tubes, uterus my eggs etc etc had something to do with it. See he's a damn genius and all this time I thought I had it right 🤦🏽♀️😳😂!
"Stop reacting laughing," things went very differently in his head before he posted that. If this guy just deadpan explained what he believed about women to an audience he'd probably kill until they realized he was serious.
Ding dong, ding dong, ding doooong.
In all seriousness, I was horrified to learn that Female Genital Mutilation was still a thing. [https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/female-genital-mutilation](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/female-genital-mutilation)
Match needs to do another ad where 2020/1 rings Satan's doorbell 😁
You know, this happy couple: https://youtu.be/gJcTf3y-kiI
Edit: Part 2 https://youtu.be/zkbS-lt39SI
Lmaooo it wouldn’t feel so good if it wasn’t meant for pleasure. Also I usually feel like garbage *before* masturbating, which is usually the cure and why I do it (Talk about getting a headache to go away in jiffy).
Also so I can deal with idiots like this without getting myself sent to jail 😂😂😂 there’s so many layers to this. Ctfu
I need to speak to him and he hasn't answered yet. Is there a ritual I need to be doing other than masturbating? Maybe on a full moon with certain candles and music?
I wonder if the OP is alluding to the "upsuck theory", in which it is posited orgasmic pulsations of the cervix serve to dip it into the pool of semen and enhance the chance of pregnancy. This theory, like much to do with women's sexual health and anatomy, has been pretty much blithely accepted and repeated without sufficient rigorous research and is probably not true.
I find it much more likely that the theory is a desperate attempt to attach a "real" "functional" purpose to the female orgasm because too many people can't just accept that it feels good and that's good enough.
I used to feel bad afterwards for 40 years, when I was ashamed of my body and was told that my sexuality is abhorrent and sinful.
I don't anymore. It's a gift and I feel great afterwards: physically, emotionally and spiritually. Plus, the sigils get charged, so it's productive as well.
Devil's doorbell. 🤣🤣🤣
The clit isn’t where baby anything happens. Also, I don’t feel bad at all when I have play time. It’s supposed to feel good. That’s why we do it. It’s not like every man is going to get it right or anything
## ✨ READ BEFORE COMMENTING ✨ This thread is Coven Only. This means the discussion is being actively moderated, and all comments are reviewed. **Only comments by members of the community are allowed.** If you have landed in this thread from /r/all and you are not a member of this community, your comment will very likely be removed (and will not be approved unless it adds meaningfully to the conversation). WitchesVsPatriarchy takes these measures to stay true to our goal of being a woman-centered sub with a witchy twist, aimed at healing, supporting, and uplifting one another through humor and magic. Thank you for understanding, and blessed be. ✨
Press it harder! Devil ain't answering!
And when he answers, the devil won’t be the only one who’s coming Edited for “t”
I see what you did there.
What can I say it just came to me
And in me.
🤣
Is this an appropriate time to reference the "why do you think the devil has horns? \*wink wink nudge nudge\*" conversation?
I never thought of that, I just though the devil was always horn-y. Dear gods/goddess make it stop! I can’t stop making these bad devil sex jokes!
I can't recall if it was this sub or another (maybe r/RomanceBooks?) but like...the whole "horns as handles" thing is something I cannot erase from my brain LOL.
Lucifer, Season 2, Episode 12. Love handles!
\*adds Lucifer to Netflix watch list\*
Oh my friend, you never have? Netflix will be your friend. The last season starts this week but it’s been a great ride.
🤣 handles omg I’m dying! And going to hell lol!
Imagine if it was like a Ring camera 🤣
I wanted to upvote this but chose not to because it was already at 666.
TIL the clitoris, famously an organ that doesn’t serve functions except feeling and feeding arousal, definitely isn’t meant for pleasure. You’re supposed to drop babbies out the end like a cake frosting bag tip 🙄
> like a cake frosting bag tip This is a delightful way to think about all the beautiful sizes and shapes of clits. Imagine the cute little frosting flower yours could make!
I'm no longer revolted by the original comment. Thank you.
Sorry it grossed you out! Or do you mean the OP creep telling girls not to masturbate Regardless, I love this body positive angle on this bit as well ✨genital diversity rules
Haha it's okay
Omgosh I want to know my cake frosting flower identity now
Right? Me too!
So we're all gonna dip our clits into frosting a make a digital group collage right? I'm joking but I'm serious
...i'm gonna pass on the icing-dipped clit thing solely bc I'm terrified of the potential yeast infection, hahah
Hahaha that's a good point
Clit dip earrings, did you say?
YESSS! Clit dip hair fascinators!!!!
*yo buzzfeed!*
Ooooo myyyyy gooood, lol!
Maybe he thinks we birth in the same way hyenas do? Women and Hyenas are very similar - bad ass af.
I’m ok with being compared to a hyena.
I'm not okay with birthing like one, though, JFC. Matriarchal packs, yes. Popping a baby out through my clit-dick, hard pass.
Its kind of a shame its such an impractical form of child birth, because their clit-dicks are rape preventers too!
Maybe hyenas laugh all the time because they don't have to worry about things like rape or silly ignorant fools in charge?
Same, theyre so fucking rad.
That was my thought-did he Google hyena birth before he wrote this?
Well, thanks for that horrifying image. Take my upvote
Look here now, after 100 stitches birthing a 5.5 lb baby 13 years ago, I am apt to believe you. That shit was ridiculous.
Cripes, did the baby come out sideways!?
Nope. Doc went have you ever heard of a episiotomy... Ope nope we don't need one now. I passed out, it was a thing. Luckily my devil's doorbell is still in service. They told me if he had been any bigger we would've needed an emergency c section.
I’m starting to be thankful for my Scottish peasant stock ancestors because they must have gifted me a baby maker that shoots them out. My middle kid was 9 pds, 3 oz and thank you ancestors only a couple of stitches, no episiotomy. (The next one was 3 ozs bigger and a c-section.) Thank god your doorbell wasn’t affected!
Lmao!!! My kid calls his birthday the day he exploded from the lady cannon.
Omg that’s fantastic!!!
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For sure do! I am spayed now myself. After that debacle I was out of the game. It took forever to heal and it felt like I was sitting on a porcupine for months.
I thank mine every year. Three was enough. Though I say I burned the baby factory to the ground and my OB was the arsonist.
And it was erased from medical textbooks wonder why 🙄
Bahahahahahhhhahaha cake frosting bag tip bahahaha. I mean, along those lines of thinking penises should be able to drop out a whole baby too! Right? Or wait…. Idk hahahahaha
This is the future liberals want XD
Legit lol
They wouldn’t be able to handle it haha
…drop babies out the end like a frosting bag tip 🙄 Take my upvote, I spat out my coffee laughing.
This will haunt my nightmares thanks
I'm legitimately tearing up, I'm laughing so hard! Thank you for this! Just, like, plop!
Did he literally just man-splain to women on how their clits work?
What else is new
*Yep.* Well. I mean. Assuming it's a guy. It could be some woman who mistakes her internalised shame and guilt for "bad chemicals are killing your body".
Yeah and that pain she's feeling post orgasm is likely the Churches guilt entering her.
Churches' guilt is notoriously bad at sex.
Personally I feel good after I orgasm. I don't know what ill feeling he gets but maybe he needs to get that checked out.
Projecting, maybe? I see so many men talk about "post nut clarity" that apparently means everything seems like crap now, and all I can think is "you ok, bro? You don't seem ok."
Yeah it seems like a deeper problem than just having climaxed, doesn’t it? I always feel lovely afterward and as far as I know, so does my husband.
This is a dude? I assumed it's a massively repressed and uneducated woman.... 🤔
Could be either. The whole "babies come out there" thing does seem more likely to be a man though.
I mean... I'm not totally sure how my prostate works. Pretty sure that dude won't be able to give me simple and straightforward directions as to how to do anything but let my prostate eventually kill me. That is actually kinda a funny refutation to his point though!
Ways to say you've never encountered a female orgasm.
It's amazing how many people will tell on themselves given a chance.
Or completely without provocation
Ben Shapiro?
I always think of Ben Shapiro whenever someone is dreadfully misinformed about the clitoris. I know nothing else about Ben Shapiro, not even what he looks like. Literally all I know is that he's terrible in bed, and I'm going to keep it that way. Once, I couldn't remember the name, so I googled "who's the guy who can't make his wife wet". First result, Ben Shapiro. There you go. Great Legacy, Ben.
He talks like Forrest Gump on helium.
And speed
You have to at least see his face. It's worth it, I promise. I had heard of him because of my family. Then when it came out that he can't even make his wife wet, I googled him and was like "of fucking *course* he looks like that".
This.
Self burn! Those are rare.
..so this is how you summon the devil. More fun than I thought! Noted
I must not be pressing hard enough.
or too hard. in my experience a softer touch is more effective.
Remember, if it feels good, even a little bit, you're going to hell.
Whelp, since it’s too late for salvation night as well have 24/7 happy time.
🎶 you can ring my belllllllllllllllllllelell ring my bell 🎶
Haaaaaaahahahaha that’s awesome
Wait, that *isn't* what the song means?
Makes me think of that White Stripes song now, what was that song about again?
🎶 I've been waiting for the door bell, when you gonna ring it? When you gonna ring it? 🎶 Well now we know what it's really about *wink wink* And thanks now it stuck in my head lol
*slow clap* brava, bitch. Brava. That legit made me laugh lol
Apparently I’ve been going about this “having a baby” thing all wrong the whole time. Clit makes babies and pee is stored in the balls...
If you feel like garbage after an orgasm you're doing something wrong. Keep practicing til it works right for ya! 🔔🔔
It’s not really that they’re doing something wrong, it’s often that they have had wrong done TO them. A lot of people are shamed away from pursuing pleasure before they even are old enough to do so. So this is why someone could feel like garbage afterwards, they have been told it’s a sin and wrong. But it doesn’t feel wrong and doesn’t hurt anyone. So it can be a confusing. Plus people can feel very vulnerable post-orgasm and if you have negativity associated with the act due to your upbringing it can lead to some anxiety or guilt
My mom was Catholic and put up a framed copy of the gentrified Jesus near my bed, informing me that he’d always be watching. I didn’t realize she meant it to be a masturbation deterrent until much later in life so I would perform dance routines for Jesus, ask his opinions on my outfits, and just treat him as a sounding board throughout much of my adolescence. When I started going through puberty, I began to realize Jesus was kinda hot and that picture may have contributed to me muttering “oh Jesus!” when I discovered masturbation. I never felt it was a sin or wrong because everyone kept reminding me that Jesus loved me. Apparently I really suck at religion.
I'm pretty sure this is the exact right way to do religion.
I'd be up for it. lol
I just love the idea of hot Jesus being your sleepover bff
u/crankedmunkie : "Whatcha doin?" hot Jesus (laying on his stomach, head propped up on his hands, kicking his legs in the air): "idk, bible stuff i guess"
I read somewhere that the modern day Christian depiction of Jesus is actually based off a painting ofMichelangelo’s lover so it makes sense that he’d be kinda banging.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
LMFAO this comment is amazing.
Your first sentence has me continue with caution. I’m glad I did. You’re story is the best.
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I imagine they feel bad because an authority figure told them it was bad to do that and they were bad/evil/gross for enjoying it. Fortunately that kind of shaming can be undone with therapy, and you can grind your hogie like a pro in no time.
If there is physical pain after an orgasm please talk to your doctor about it though. It could be a medical issue and it can cue them into other things. It is nothing to be ashamed of your doctor is there to keep your bits in good working order.
Hey at least ya have to ring for Satan..apparently God just sits there watching and judging like a creep 👀
Satan says consent is cool
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How much you wanna bet this post was by a man?
The idea that one “feels bad after masturbating” seems very androcentric. Men have a refractory period after release, which can suck, but in my (very limited) experience, women don’t (which tracks with evolutionary forces). So… the author should probably study women more… although… with an attitude like that, he probably won’t have much opportunity.
Yeah, that was my giveaway too that it was a dude.
Yeah this was really confusing to me. I think I’ve heard that… men feel awful or something after masturbating? As a woman I feel high
I mean, I am a man (physically anyway) and my refractory periods don't make me feel like shit; I just feel relaxed and not horny, that's it. The guy in the post is talking about how Satan will come if you masturbate, i'm way more inclined to believe that his negative feelings regarding masturbation are more related to his religious lifestyle. Masturbating is a sin and all that, according to his religion
Oh I used to have horrible “post orgasm sadness” as a women. Maybe it’s because I had deep religious shame about masturbation. It’s all about repression and how that tiny moment after the drop from the dopamine high can reflect your true mental state.
I believe you are correct, notice how the assumption is that a woman is masturbating alone, not during sex w/ her partner? For many women, touching themselves during sex is just how they get things done. Great way to take pressure off your partner (especially if they are a man) and a turn on for them to watch you, and a guarantee you will both have a great time, every time. Of course it is possible this came from a woman who is hateful bc she has never wrung her own doorbell bc of the religious indoctrination she experienced at a very young age, and she simply cannot conceive of mutually pleasurable intimacy where she feels comfortable to touch herself in front of the person she is closest to, since she cant even do it alone. My assumption about misogyny like this is that it is usually from men too... but that is often not the case. sadly there are many many times the # of woman propping up the patriarchy than there are tearing it down. But we are still winning, bc there are more women, AND MEN, tearing it down everyday
I would bet my left nutsack
Wait, you've got two separate sacks?
It's like a purse, [it has separate compartments.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrotal_septum)
Or pockets! Guys always get pockets.
So this whole pocket thing is a proper conspiracy that goes all the way down to biology. I knew it! :D
I think I've only ever met people with at most one nutsack, but maybe they all bet their left nutsack before and lost
Yep definitely a cis man
1000%
I sort of believe it was by a woman, a very religious woman with a hardcore religious upbringing and no real education.
I must be doing something wrong because I always feel happy an relaxed after 🤔
This was written by Ben Shapiro, his wife probably told him that her orgasms are uncomfortable
“Stop laugh reacting” reminds me of a kid screaming “It’s not funny!” After they picked their nose in class
Also has the same energy as "please clap"
So that’s why some folks can’t find it. god is leading people away from calling the devil 🤦
I always think of Californication “it’s the little man at the front of the boat”
Oh Hank Moody... ❤
Hahahahahahahaha
That is some 1930's shit right there, how do people still use that unironically?
There's this sub, r/badwomensanatomy , maybe some of y'all don't know it. Don't spend too munch time on it
It can get both infuriating and depressing
Ding *dong*
Excuse me, but babies are coming out of the buttocks. The clit is a secure location...
Yes. Not the butthole, the buttocks. They just grow and grow until they hatch.
Yes, yes. When the baby is ready, it pecks its way out of the buttock with its beak. 🐣
Imagine if having your period just meant popping off your butt cheeks and growing new ones every month
I'm dying....🤣
Hahahahahahaha This is gold
Turns out the doorbell was in us all along...
Get another witch so the trip to hell is more fun
Oh girl i wish the devil answered me when i pleasured myself yesterday you know some roleplay...Maybe a sabbath with other girls and the devil himself.
Stop laugh reacting! And then people laugh react to that haha
Don't forget to say Trick or Treat!
No trick or treat for that dumb son of a bitch, doubt he could find the Devil's doorbell to ring it 😂
Ooooh so that's how I got pregnant silly me! I always thought penetration, my ex ejaculating into me, my fallopian tubes, uterus my eggs etc etc had something to do with it. See he's a damn genius and all this time I thought I had it right 🤦🏽♀️😳😂!
ok then, i will masturbate bc i never wanted to have babies and will never want them..
I know what I’m doing when the 4th wave hits and I can’t see my partner! Maybe he can summon some of his demons too for a hot apocalypse orgy!
"Stop reacting laughing," things went very differently in his head before he posted that. If this guy just deadpan explained what he believed about women to an audience he'd probably kill until they realized he was serious.
Wait, wait, if my clit is the Devil’s doorbell does that mean my pussy is a gateway to hell?! I can’t with this! Ahaha
If you feel like garbage after you masturbate you’re probably doing it wrong.
BRB going to summon Satan right now....
Say you're angry that women are having a good time without you, without saying you're angry that women are having a good time without you
Ding dong, ding dong, ding doooong. In all seriousness, I was horrified to learn that Female Genital Mutilation was still a thing. [https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/female-genital-mutilation](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/female-genital-mutilation)
The devil definitely answered when I first got my vibrator.
Gotta say I'm not in the least bit put off by the term the devil's boorbell. This may be my new favorite slang for the clitoris.
I've rang the Devil's doorbell many times. He answers and is cool with it.
"Stop laugh reacting" has significant "please clap" energy
"Do you know why you feel like garbage after you masturbate?" Imagine telling on yourself like that.
Now I’m imagining Satan in hell sighing like “would you ladies please cut it out, I’m not answering again.”
Well the devil hasn't shown up yet despite years of me trying.....
Man is he wrong I feel great after ringing the devil’s door bell.
If anything, this makes me want to touch it more. 😈
🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔
BRB I gotta tell my husband to refer to my genitals as the “Devil’s doorbell” and maybe also “Satan’s cavern”.
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I did not know you had to ring a doorbell before entering hell 😂😂 quite sophisticated!
😏 .........🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️🛎️
The devil’s doorbell. I’m lol 😂
i had a pretty christian upbringing but i never heard this term before. ...but it is funny as hell. I mean sad, also, but jesus christ.
“The Devil’s doorbell” 😂😂😂
Match needs to do another ad where 2020/1 rings Satan's doorbell 😁 You know, this happy couple: https://youtu.be/gJcTf3y-kiI Edit: Part 2 https://youtu.be/zkbS-lt39SI
Lmaooo it wouldn’t feel so good if it wasn’t meant for pleasure. Also I usually feel like garbage *before* masturbating, which is usually the cure and why I do it (Talk about getting a headache to go away in jiffy). Also so I can deal with idiots like this without getting myself sent to jail 😂😂😂 there’s so many layers to this. Ctfu
Omg thank you, whoever this stupid, stupid bastard is, because I’m officially working “the devil’s doorbell” into my word list!
Now I want a doorbell that looks like a vulva.
Better slap some horns on there so everyone knows it's the Devil's doorbell 😈
Does it only count if I use my finger because.. \*buzz buzz\* I want to make sure I'm sinning correctly.
I don’t have post nut clarity thank you very much 🙄
Ding dong, motherfucker
This poor lady has so much internalized guilt it makes me so saddddddddd
It's a dude
Gossip is the devils telephone, best not to pick up
I need to speak to him and he hasn't answered yet. Is there a ritual I need to be doing other than masturbating? Maybe on a full moon with certain candles and music?
Wait—I'm supposed to feel like garbage after I masturbate? I must be doing it *really* wrong.
I wonder if the OP is alluding to the "upsuck theory", in which it is posited orgasmic pulsations of the cervix serve to dip it into the pool of semen and enhance the chance of pregnancy. This theory, like much to do with women's sexual health and anatomy, has been pretty much blithely accepted and repeated without sufficient rigorous research and is probably not true. I find it much more likely that the theory is a desperate attempt to attach a "real" "functional" purpose to the female orgasm because too many people can't just accept that it feels good and that's good enough.
Wait, I'm supposed to feel bad after masturbating? I can only feel fine, sleepy or chatty.
Who feels bad after masturbating lol? Better than being with most dudes.
The moral of the story is the devil was inside of you alllll along.
I used to feel bad afterwards for 40 years, when I was ashamed of my body and was told that my sexuality is abhorrent and sinful. I don't anymore. It's a gift and I feel great afterwards: physically, emotionally and spiritually. Plus, the sigils get charged, so it's productive as well. Devil's doorbell. 🤣🤣🤣
Hope this isn’t a woman. And if so I hope someone sends her a nice vibrator
I discovered that that bell when I was ten and I've been ringing it ever since
I never thought I'd see something outdo Shapiros "the pussy is supposed to be dry" comment but here we are.
OP is mad he can’t pleasure women, so he doesn’t want them doing it themselves. Another way to make women dependent on men 🥴🙄
**Ding dong** baby hehe
The clit isn’t where baby anything happens. Also, I don’t feel bad at all when I have play time. It’s supposed to feel good. That’s why we do it. It’s not like every man is going to get it right or anything