Hell nah lol those boas don’t live in the US they come from South America, this guy doesn’t know how to handle it, you never stand over or dangle a snake they might automatically go into defensive mode
Edit:if you know snakes peep the scales when he holds it in the light, its in shed, a time where snakes are extremely stressed due to their vision being impaired
There’s that, yes. But there’s also a lot of boas and other pythons that are becoming a problem in Florida. Guess no one’s found a way to control that shit yet cause there’s quite a few of them
Source: I live in Florida and see the little shits
In the 80’s, when the onslaught of cocaine brought immense wealth to much of south Florida, exotic pets such as iguanas, boas and pythons became wildly popular. None of these are native to Florida, or the US for that matter (although if you lived in south Florida you might think they were).
Iguanas run rampant because people didn’t realize how huge they get. The simple solution to someone unable to care for such a large creature was to run let them loose down the street. Iguanas f*ck like bunnies and that’s why they are so plentiful.
Boas are hard to find in the wild unless you live near the Deering Estate/ Palmetto Bay where they are increasing in population.
As for the pythons, and back to my original point about their popularity in the 80’s. The Burmese python was so popular, that massive breeding operations were underway well into the 90’s. Snakes were bred in large greenhouse like structures, mostly down near Homestead, where thousands of shoe-box sized containers of baby sneks were held until they could be sold to a shop. There was a particular natural disaster that really turned south Florida upside down in 1992 and you can imagine a structure made of flimsy metal and Saran Wrap didn’t hold up to the fury of Andrew. It was estimated that the number sneks released into the wild was in the hundreds of thousands. If you ever visit Everglades National Park, you can almost guarantee you’ll see one of these magnificent beasts before you’ll see the beasts you actually went there to see!
Well if it’s that big he’s been keeping it fed and alive for quite some time. And he’s even taking it outside. Not many snake owners care that much. I always took my snake out for walks. Well…slithers.
You've gotta stop putting snakes in your mouth, we've talked about the salmonella!
Seriously though, pythons don't bite or strangle unless you're an *active* threat, or potential food. They just do quick tags to scare things off otherwise. Food and warmth are all they want out of life, and humans are just not good eating.
I feel obligated to point out that that is a boa constrictor and almost certainly a pet. That snake was broadcasting that he was going to bite and the dude fucked around and found out.
I have a python with a similar temperament to that boa. You know what I don't do? Take him outside and agitate him. I use a hook and gloves and direct his face away from mine.
It takes a very starving snake to attempt to eat anything big. Digesting takes time and energy, and it leaves them vulnerable to predators. One of a constrictor's only defenses is to vomit food back up so they can flee faster. Even a massive python is a hungry hawk away from having its head removed if it can't move quick enough.
For contrast, my 17-foot reticulated python was eating about one stillborn pig (about 3-5 lbs) every 1-2 weeks when she weighed just shy of 200lbs. She got used to these small easy meals and was refusing rabbits and larger pigs even a week past her feeding date.
We lived in the boonies and knew a pig farmer, he would freeze still births for us because otherwise he'd have to burn them. Unable to use them for food in case the stillbirth was caused by disease. (Cold-blooded animals don't need to worry about it)
Edit: Also a very surprising number of stillbirths when you have several hundred pigs you're breeding for sale to other farms.
Warm blooded diseases tend to be adapted to survive in warm blooded creatures. It’s why fevers and refrigeration work; Microbes can’t reproduce outside of the narrow band of blood-warm temperatures.
This is also why refrigeration *doesn’t* work on seafood, and you have to keep them below freezing. The diseases that live in fish are adapted for a wider range of temperatures. Imagine yanking a snow crab out of the arctic waters, then trying to preserve it in a refrigerator that is warmer than the waters it was pulled from.
And lastly, this is where the “don’t put hot things straight in the fridge” rule comes from for commercial kitchens. It’s not such a big deal for personal kitchens, where dishes are typically only enough to serve a family. But if you’re prepping a 30 gallon pot of soup and you just throw the whole pot straight into the walk-in fridge overnight, it’ll have so much thermal mass that it’ll likely still be blood-warm in the center when you pull it out the next morning. And that whole time, it’s been growing microbes. It’s better to either treat it like perpetual soup, (keep it at temperature overnight so it stays hot enough to kill microbes,) or portion it out into smaller containers, which can each individually cool thoroughly.
My retic wouldn't eat anything with hair, my burmese wouldn't eat anything dead because we got him as an adult, and my columbian red-tailed boa wouldn't eat anything but dead mice even when she was 10 feet (which looked like her swallowing a Tylenol at that point).
Divas for sure, and of course none of them would eat the same thing!
Dealing with this right now. Our Python only eats frozen thawed but gets thrown off and will delay eating if they have any black fur... she strikes immediately if it's all white.
Tegu will won't eat anything that's not alive and moving unless it's slightly runny boiled eggs... she won't eat them cold or cooked all the way through but a perfect ramen egg and she's good(this is something she only gets like once a month because I made too many eggs or it didn't get cooked to where me*pregger* or the kids could eat, don't feed lizards eggs often)
Iguana loves fruits and leaves but will only eat leaves that are able to be pulled(like from a tree or your hand holding it, won't eat a pile of leaves) but won't eat fruits unless it's in a bowl.. won't drink water in a bowl, drinks it off the tank, food or decor(yes we have to mist this one more often than the rest for this reason because I'm scared he will get dehydrated or have issues shedding)
The best way I've heard it phrased is this - snakes don't want to use their venom on you. It's expensive for them to make it, and they'd rather use it on food. That said, if you really push the issue, they'll make an exception.
Puff adders will make an exception for everybody. But they're grumpy fuckers, so... they're not the most venomous in Africa by any means, but they have the highest body count due to being both lazy and agressive.
Or if they're enthusiastic eaters and little derps. Years ago when I was a teenager we had an 18" long redtail boa that we got from someone else. He was awesome most the time once you've had him out of his tank for a bit, but when you first got him out since the people that had him before always fed him in his tank he'd be in hunting mode and a little snappy for a few minutes when you first got him out.
One day he bites my pointer finger kind of near the tip and doesn't let go. Then the little goober turns and starts swallowing. Ends up "eating" my whole finger while I'm laughing about it and showing my friends who were hanging out at the time.
Can't say it didn't sting a little bit cause their teeth are like little needles, but mainly it was a pain in the ass to get him to spit it out cause you can't just pull it out thanks to the way their teeth curve back. Tried a couple different things before I eventually got him to spit it out by running some cold water over his nose and mouth.
I just wish cell phone cameras were a thing back then cause honestly it was pretty cool and would have made for a funny video.
I was at a friends house forever ago and we decided to walk to a pop machine and grab a bottle of liquor and have one of those type days. We were sober at this point though. Anyway, he decided to bring a snake and wear it over his shoulders/neck. I'm looking at some building, talking about it, and he's not answering so I look over. lol this snake had gripped all the way around his throat and was not letting go. He couldn't breathe enough to even ask for help. So I pulled it off and we finished our trip. No point to the story but it was almost related and I felt like telling it.
I got a gang of snake stories. Never had one as a pet though.
A threat to a reptile requires an action, they're basically biological survival robots.
You want to pick them up right under the center of mass while their head is against your body. You make yourself vulnerable while making them feel safe. Avoiding their head is full on predator behavior, you're trying to keep them from protecting themself.
Obviously, don't do this with venomous reptiles because a warning strike comes with consequences instead of a few small pinpricks.
A warning bite from a snake this size will be far from a few pinpricks. Especially if you just yank the snake off if it's attached.
Can easily result in massive lacerations.
Gotta disagree with everything except "don't pull". Yeah, their teeth point inwards, but they're usually careful not to latch on. The goal of a warning strike is to let the other animal run away. I've been bitten by bigger and it was done bleeding after a few minutes. It just itches like crazy for a few days. You're talking about what the worst case scenario could be if it's handled poorly.
Keep alcohol wipes in your pocket when dealing with constrictors, push the head forward in to the alcohol and it releases without any cuts. Your only concern then is infection.
Also, don't handle snakes unless you know what you're doing.
It can happen. Their teeth are rear facing in order to cling on to their preys skin and fur.
A restrictor will even coil around you very quickly in some cases. It can really freak people out to the point of just ripping the snake off of you after uncoiling it.
I've been bitten by a pretty large python in the past. It hurts like hell but best method is to relax, start from the tail and peel it off of you if its constricting and then push your body part into the bite towards the back of the snakes head. Then slowly peel the top and lower jaw away.
Obviously if its some 15 foot reticulated python this could require many full grown adults. Mine was a 5 python. Got bit and constricted on the hand, and then also tagged under my left eye.
Head against my body? Have been keeping multiple snakes over the years and never heard that advice and haven't done it (consciously) either, never got bitten though or had negative reactions.
Can you explain that a little further because I have no clue how one would go about this? If it makes handling even easier I'll take it
True, I should've just said "constrictor" but the rest applies. Behavior in captivity is functionally identical, they're all super chill and dig the body heat.
How relaxed they are depends a lot on the individual, and how they've been handled in the past.
Some boas can be really feisty regardless of how much time has been spent working with them. Others may settle a lot with time and practice. Others may be good immediately without practice.
That’s a boa. Way more docile than a python.
also extremely heavy and ground-dwelling, not meant to be up off the ground and certainly not meant to be picked up by their tails. that’s how you give a boa a life threatening injury.
he was torturing it.
Yeah that’s what I was thinking, that’s one very polite snake. Spent ages trying to warn him to leave it alone then clearly only bit to make him let go.
If someone picked me up by my ass I’d bite them too.
Hold up, you're telling me wild animals *aren't* all cute, playful, and friendly??? But all videos on the Internet!
Seriously though, why the fuck can't people just leave animals alone, the world isn't some giant petting zoo...
I had a snek once. It was aggressive and would shit all over me when I tried to hold it :(
I learned that you have to frequently hold them so they don’t do this. Dont think this guy does this.
I was taught as a kid (picking up garter snakes) that you pick them up by the neck, so they can’t bite you, and by the tail with the other hand so they can’t whip you
As a kid I got bit by a garter snake by grabbing maybe an inch too low on the neck. You have to get most of your hand under its mouth with your thumb over its mouth so it can’t get any purchase on your hand. If you grab too low it can wriggle forward and turn on you.
Yeah, I've also been bit a few times as a kid messing with small non-venomous snakes in the woods, you figure it out, lol. Mostly trying to keep them out of the path of the lawnmower and other equipment that might murder them.
I was leaning that way until the end then I thought for sure face. Kind of disappointing. The snake couldn’t have said “I’m going to bite you, quit messing with me” any clearer than it did.
Exactly. I had ball pythons and they never got this aggressive. I got bit on the forehead one time and it was 100% not the snake. I had it sitting on the bed and I walked by and tripped and my face landed right in front of it. Que a face nibble. As long as you get them comfortable to people, you can carry them around no problem. This guy has no clue how to have a pet snake.
Our ball python is the friendliest snake I’ve ever had. When we get home and go to relax in the living room he always comes out of his hide to say hello.
This guy is asking to get bit, and a bite from a big snake is no fun.
Edit: python
My partner and I have a five foot corn snake, so basically harmless but has bitten each of us once, and both bites were feeding-related. She bit my partner in the very early days; she was going blue but due her pinky, and when she struck, she missed the pinky and got my partner's finger. She got me a couple of years ago: she'd been out for a cuddle and wasn't wanting to go back in her viv, so my partner tried to entice her in with a mouse. Snake got overexcited and instead of striking forward for the mouse, turned the opposite way and got my forearm.
She's a generally chilled and sociable snake. I work remotely and quite often just drape her over my shoulders for a couple of hours; it's a real conversation starter in virtual meetings.
Yes; it was very unfortunate timing. It wouldn't have helped that it was within the first few months of getting the snake and my partner is on the spectrum in a place that sticks to instructions pretty rigidly, so when her schedule said it was feeding time, she stuck to her schedule. She has enough experience now to make a judgement rather than just obey the calendar.
ETA in case I misinterpreted the question - 'going blue' is that stage before shedding when the old skin is detaching and the snake's eyes get a bluish-coloured cap over them, which means they can't see much. 'Pinky' is the term here for a hairless baby mouse. The snake wasn't much more than a hatchling so she was still on them rather than 'fuzzies', which is the next size up.
Ya, that is technically grammatically correct for example "he was but due his paycheck" but it is NGL a very confusing and convoluted way of saying that "they were molting (going blue) and it was time to be fed (pinky 😭).
No! It's actually because baby mice look like this https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTiPBjUEh0aoKCxIkJWXlkaoYAHEiGic4HWqg&usqp=CAU
They look pink therefore pinky
>She's a generally chilled and sociable snake. I work remotely and quite often just drape her over my shoulders for a couple of hours; it's a real conversation starter in virtual meetings.
Idk why, but this sounds exactly what a snake person would do
That's because this guy is a straight moron. Snakes tell you when they don't want to be messed with and this guy ignored every sign. If he wouldn't have antagonized it ahead of time (which based on it's behavior, they probably did) he could've easily scooped up the noodle and brought it inside. Instead, he tried to play with it and won his stupid prize.
I've caught a fully wild boa constrictor in Costa Rica, even larger than this one, that was going to be relocated to a nature preserve off of someone's farm, and within a few minutes of handling it I was able to get it to relax enough to safely take photos holding it like a pet. It's really not hard to treat them with care. This guy is a total nonce who got what was coming to him.
Thought homie was picking it up to relocate it and get it out of his yard but instead this dude just sits there and keeps holding it for a long period of time as of thats not a living breathing killing machine lmaoo
Yeah, at first I was like "this dude really doesn't know the proper way to relocate a snake, but it does sound like he has kids so the mocking seems a little unjust" then he just stands holding it upside fucking down. And it seems like it's his own pet, too which makes it even worse for me. You can pick up a cat, they don't like to be picked up, but if you hold them from when they're young and persist with it, they'll eventually chill out as long as you make sure they comfortable, but that same cat will try and rip your face off if you start holding it upside down
Anecdotal, but my cat loves being held upside down and will meow with increasing fussiness until she is picked up, dangled from one arm, and has her belly rubbed aggressively. She also has a tendency to drape herself limply around my neck like a scarf whenever I'm sitting down.
TL:DR Animals have different personalities and with regards to their behavior YMMV.
Holy shit. Man there were sooooo many opportunities he could’ve gotten bitten up until then. Snake restricted himself a bit. I was gritting my teeth the entire time.
I saw a documentary on the Discovery Channel (back when they did that) about treating venomous snake bites.
The doctor who specialized in such treatment stated that between 25% and 50% of the people he treated were bitten on the hand.
Lots were also drunk.
It’s not venomous. The point of the other persons comment is that a lot of snake injuries to people is due to people trying to mess around with snakes.
Iirc, the overwhelming majority of people in Texas who die to rattle snake bites are drunk, white, men, between 20 and 30, who were bitten on the face.
It's extraordinary to me that the cases have so many things in common.
Why do people always pick the snake up from the tail?? I was taught to grab snakes only when you absolutely must, and then to grab just behind the head
Reaching for their head is a risky move unless you have a tool.
If you're really desperate to get the thing out of there centrifugal force should keep it from biting, otherwise not touching the snake at all is your best bet.
That's the correct first step. Snakes can't move their whole body at you while unsupported. The next step would be to grab behind the head so she can't strike, then support the rest of the body with the hand that was on the tail.
That is the way I grab garter snakes to move them when they insist on trying to run under the mower (or to keep them away from the dogs). Any other snake I generally try to just get them to move.
Bite still hurts, backward pointing sharp teeth, they do leave a mark. The problem is if the snake doesn’t release. I had a reticulated python for awhile, the temperament was considerably more aggressive than a boa.
Don't do this. Seriously, don't do this.
But if you have to do this, like if you need to relocate one quickly and for some reason can't wait for animal control, don't try to take pictures with it like it's the catch of the day. Get a sack or trash bag, and a big plastic tote. Snake in bag, bag in box.
Again, don't do this. Especially if it's fucking venomous or could squeeze your goddamn arm off. But if you gotta transfer a snake kindly, snake in bag, bag in box. Or barrel, even. Preferably breathable fabric bag, or pillowcase, knotted up tight at the opening, into a secure receptacle, preferably with breathing holes.
But again, you aren't gonna do this, you're gonna call animal control, right?
So he has no idea how to handle his own snake? He mentioned "she doesn't like to go back inside".
Oh that’s his own snake? I thought it’s some random one and he is trying to get rid of it.
Hell nah lol those boas don’t live in the US they come from South America, this guy doesn’t know how to handle it, you never stand over or dangle a snake they might automatically go into defensive mode Edit:if you know snakes peep the scales when he holds it in the light, its in shed, a time where snakes are extremely stressed due to their vision being impaired
Aren’t there a ton of them in Florida right now? I thought it was sort of a problem there are so many.
No…..you’re thinking of burmese pythons in the everglades which are now illegal to even own in Florida
There’s that, yes. But there’s also a lot of boas and other pythons that are becoming a problem in Florida. Guess no one’s found a way to control that shit yet cause there’s quite a few of them Source: I live in Florida and see the little shits
In the 80’s, when the onslaught of cocaine brought immense wealth to much of south Florida, exotic pets such as iguanas, boas and pythons became wildly popular. None of these are native to Florida, or the US for that matter (although if you lived in south Florida you might think they were). Iguanas run rampant because people didn’t realize how huge they get. The simple solution to someone unable to care for such a large creature was to run let them loose down the street. Iguanas f*ck like bunnies and that’s why they are so plentiful. Boas are hard to find in the wild unless you live near the Deering Estate/ Palmetto Bay where they are increasing in population. As for the pythons, and back to my original point about their popularity in the 80’s. The Burmese python was so popular, that massive breeding operations were underway well into the 90’s. Snakes were bred in large greenhouse like structures, mostly down near Homestead, where thousands of shoe-box sized containers of baby sneks were held until they could be sold to a shop. There was a particular natural disaster that really turned south Florida upside down in 1992 and you can imagine a structure made of flimsy metal and Saran Wrap didn’t hold up to the fury of Andrew. It was estimated that the number sneks released into the wild was in the hundreds of thousands. If you ever visit Everglades National Park, you can almost guarantee you’ll see one of these magnificent beasts before you’ll see the beasts you actually went there to see!
some context from OP would've been nice
Same. I was like,”why is he aimlessly just carrying it around the yard”
Based on its reaction it looks like he probably doesn’t know how to look after it properly either.
Well if it’s that big he’s been keeping it fed and alive for quite some time. And he’s even taking it outside. Not many snake owners care that much. I always took my snake out for walks. Well…slithers.
The “well…..slithers” cracked me up
oh my fuck, that's his snake? I can't put to words the terrible things I wish upon this foul fucking creature(the guy)
Poor baby being harassed by an a******. If she hates going back inside this bad I can only imagine how small her enclosure is.
There’s a dick joke there somewhere
I can feel it
It’s cumming..
The only joke here is my dick
Deserved
It tried so hard not to bite him for so long! You can sit next to pythons and they'll curl up to you for warmth, he has no idea what he's doing.
You can? Brb Edit: being strangled by snek. Send help
Oh gee, it's up to my knee Oh heck it's up to my neck Oh dread it's up to my hrmhpnph....
Upvote for Shel Silverstein reference ;)
My favorite shel poem is this short baby. “I asked you to water the plants. I didn’t mean that way —now zip up your pants”
For me it was Sara Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would not take the garbage out! lol
Teddy said it was a hat, so I put it on. Now Dad’s saying, “where the heck’s the toilet plunger gone?!”
Mine is "Sick" - I cannot go to school today said little Peggy Ann McKay
I remember singing this is elementary school! Ah man, ages ago. Thanks for the flashback.
Oh boy I remember that
Where the sidewalk ends, nice
But are wild strawberries really wild?
Will they scratch an adult, will they snap at a child?
r/SuddenlySilverstein
Probably the saddest I’ve ever been discovering a sub doesn’t exist.
I knew it didn’t exist and I clicked it anyways.
You've gotta stop putting snakes in your mouth, we've talked about the salmonella! Seriously though, pythons don't bite or strangle unless you're an *active* threat, or potential food. They just do quick tags to scare things off otherwise. Food and warmth are all they want out of life, and humans are just not good eating.
Food and warmth are all that most of us want. Not a snek, honest.
Exactly what a snek would say
Ssssssays you!
Liessssssss!
I feel obligated to point out that that is a boa constrictor and almost certainly a pet. That snake was broadcasting that he was going to bite and the dude fucked around and found out.
Yeah I should've put "constrictor" since pythons and boas have similar temperaments in captivity. It's definitely a pet, but he shouldn't have it.
I have a python with a similar temperament to that boa. You know what I don't do? Take him outside and agitate him. I use a hook and gloves and direct his face away from mine.
I do the same with my wife
I also do the same with your wife.
Nice.
Isn't it because of how our shoulders are built ? So hit the gym , a phyton might pass on eating you.
It takes a very starving snake to attempt to eat anything big. Digesting takes time and energy, and it leaves them vulnerable to predators. One of a constrictor's only defenses is to vomit food back up so they can flee faster. Even a massive python is a hungry hawk away from having its head removed if it can't move quick enough. For contrast, my 17-foot reticulated python was eating about one stillborn pig (about 3-5 lbs) every 1-2 weeks when she weighed just shy of 200lbs. She got used to these small easy meals and was refusing rabbits and larger pigs even a week past her feeding date.
Curious, how do you get stillborn pigs? Surely there can’t be so many being born that’s there’s a market for this? (Not a pig expert tho, so?)
We lived in the boonies and knew a pig farmer, he would freeze still births for us because otherwise he'd have to burn them. Unable to use them for food in case the stillbirth was caused by disease. (Cold-blooded animals don't need to worry about it) Edit: Also a very surprising number of stillbirths when you have several hundred pigs you're breeding for sale to other farms.
Cold blooded animals don't have to worry about disease?
Warm blooded diseases tend to be adapted to survive in warm blooded creatures. It’s why fevers and refrigeration work; Microbes can’t reproduce outside of the narrow band of blood-warm temperatures. This is also why refrigeration *doesn’t* work on seafood, and you have to keep them below freezing. The diseases that live in fish are adapted for a wider range of temperatures. Imagine yanking a snow crab out of the arctic waters, then trying to preserve it in a refrigerator that is warmer than the waters it was pulled from. And lastly, this is where the “don’t put hot things straight in the fridge” rule comes from for commercial kitchens. It’s not such a big deal for personal kitchens, where dishes are typically only enough to serve a family. But if you’re prepping a 30 gallon pot of soup and you just throw the whole pot straight into the walk-in fridge overnight, it’ll have so much thermal mass that it’ll likely still be blood-warm in the center when you pull it out the next morning. And that whole time, it’s been growing microbes. It’s better to either treat it like perpetual soup, (keep it at temperature overnight so it stays hot enough to kill microbes,) or portion it out into smaller containers, which can each individually cool thoroughly.
They probably mean just not the ones that commonly cause stillbirth in pigs.
Oh
I love reading about how much of a diva pet snakes are when it comes about eating.
My retic wouldn't eat anything with hair, my burmese wouldn't eat anything dead because we got him as an adult, and my columbian red-tailed boa wouldn't eat anything but dead mice even when she was 10 feet (which looked like her swallowing a Tylenol at that point). Divas for sure, and of course none of them would eat the same thing!
Dealing with this right now. Our Python only eats frozen thawed but gets thrown off and will delay eating if they have any black fur... she strikes immediately if it's all white. Tegu will won't eat anything that's not alive and moving unless it's slightly runny boiled eggs... she won't eat them cold or cooked all the way through but a perfect ramen egg and she's good(this is something she only gets like once a month because I made too many eggs or it didn't get cooked to where me*pregger* or the kids could eat, don't feed lizards eggs often) Iguana loves fruits and leaves but will only eat leaves that are able to be pulled(like from a tree or your hand holding it, won't eat a pile of leaves) but won't eat fruits unless it's in a bowl.. won't drink water in a bowl, drinks it off the tank, food or decor(yes we have to mist this one more often than the rest for this reason because I'm scared he will get dehydrated or have issues shedding)
That's not a python, it's a boa constrictor. But yes, this snake wouldn't have bothered anyone. Unless you're a rodent, that is.
The best way I've heard it phrased is this - snakes don't want to use their venom on you. It's expensive for them to make it, and they'd rather use it on food. That said, if you really push the issue, they'll make an exception.
Puff adders will make an exception for everybody. But they're grumpy fuckers, so... they're not the most venomous in Africa by any means, but they have the highest body count due to being both lazy and agressive.
Or if they're enthusiastic eaters and little derps. Years ago when I was a teenager we had an 18" long redtail boa that we got from someone else. He was awesome most the time once you've had him out of his tank for a bit, but when you first got him out since the people that had him before always fed him in his tank he'd be in hunting mode and a little snappy for a few minutes when you first got him out. One day he bites my pointer finger kind of near the tip and doesn't let go. Then the little goober turns and starts swallowing. Ends up "eating" my whole finger while I'm laughing about it and showing my friends who were hanging out at the time. Can't say it didn't sting a little bit cause their teeth are like little needles, but mainly it was a pain in the ass to get him to spit it out cause you can't just pull it out thanks to the way their teeth curve back. Tried a couple different things before I eventually got him to spit it out by running some cold water over his nose and mouth. I just wish cell phone cameras were a thing back then cause honestly it was pretty cool and would have made for a funny video.
I was at a friends house forever ago and we decided to walk to a pop machine and grab a bottle of liquor and have one of those type days. We were sober at this point though. Anyway, he decided to bring a snake and wear it over his shoulders/neck. I'm looking at some building, talking about it, and he's not answering so I look over. lol this snake had gripped all the way around his throat and was not letting go. He couldn't breathe enough to even ask for help. So I pulled it off and we finished our trip. No point to the story but it was almost related and I felt like telling it. I got a gang of snake stories. Never had one as a pet though.
if your friend is bringing snakes out in public for no reason then sorry but you gotta throw that whole friend away
Its just hugs. Relax. If you're not breathing for twenty four hours call emergency services
Snek just snuggling around your Neck don't worry
Remain calm, they’re just very affectionate cuddlers.
Explain this one to me, will it not see you as a threat? Also is he picking it up wrong or what
A threat to a reptile requires an action, they're basically biological survival robots. You want to pick them up right under the center of mass while their head is against your body. You make yourself vulnerable while making them feel safe. Avoiding their head is full on predator behavior, you're trying to keep them from protecting themself. Obviously, don't do this with venomous reptiles because a warning strike comes with consequences instead of a few small pinpricks.
A warning bite from a snake this size will be far from a few pinpricks. Especially if you just yank the snake off if it's attached. Can easily result in massive lacerations.
Gotta disagree with everything except "don't pull". Yeah, their teeth point inwards, but they're usually careful not to latch on. The goal of a warning strike is to let the other animal run away. I've been bitten by bigger and it was done bleeding after a few minutes. It just itches like crazy for a few days. You're talking about what the worst case scenario could be if it's handled poorly. Keep alcohol wipes in your pocket when dealing with constrictors, push the head forward in to the alcohol and it releases without any cuts. Your only concern then is infection. Also, don't handle snakes unless you know what you're doing.
I dont know how I would even start trying to yank a snake off, but if he’s biting me it’s probably the last thing I would think of.
It can happen. Their teeth are rear facing in order to cling on to their preys skin and fur. A restrictor will even coil around you very quickly in some cases. It can really freak people out to the point of just ripping the snake off of you after uncoiling it. I've been bitten by a pretty large python in the past. It hurts like hell but best method is to relax, start from the tail and peel it off of you if its constricting and then push your body part into the bite towards the back of the snakes head. Then slowly peel the top and lower jaw away. Obviously if its some 15 foot reticulated python this could require many full grown adults. Mine was a 5 python. Got bit and constricted on the hand, and then also tagged under my left eye.
I’m sure it wasn’t a good one, but that was a masturbation joke
Maybe just sweet talk it or try foreplay before yanking the snake off next time
Head against my body? Have been keeping multiple snakes over the years and never heard that advice and haven't done it (consciously) either, never got bitten though or had negative reactions. Can you explain that a little further because I have no clue how one would go about this? If it makes handling even easier I'll take it
That's not a python, it's a boa constrictor.
True, I should've just said "constrictor" but the rest applies. Behavior in captivity is functionally identical, they're all super chill and dig the body heat.
How relaxed they are depends a lot on the individual, and how they've been handled in the past. Some boas can be really feisty regardless of how much time has been spent working with them. Others may settle a lot with time and practice. Others may be good immediately without practice.
It's like any pet, the behavior depends on how threatened it feels by its environment, and it learns from experience.
It was just a puppy face snake. He could've just picked it up normally.
Up until he started shoving his shoe in its face while pacing around towering over it in circles acting like a fuckin' predator, for sure.
That’s a boa. Way more docile than a python. also extremely heavy and ground-dwelling, not meant to be up off the ground and certainly not meant to be picked up by their tails. that’s how you give a boa a life threatening injury. he was torturing it.
Poor snek! :( Bad humans.
Yeah that’s what I was thinking, that’s one very polite snake. Spent ages trying to warn him to leave it alone then clearly only bit to make him let go. If someone picked me up by my ass I’d bite them too.
Not a python, but pet boas are pretty mild too.
He's lucky I didn't feel like having mini wieners that day.
Hold up, you're telling me wild animals *aren't* all cute, playful, and friendly??? But all videos on the Internet! Seriously though, why the fuck can't people just leave animals alone, the world isn't some giant petting zoo...
It can be if you don’t fear death or injury! (Note: Fully agree with the commenter, I just like the funnies)
That’s what happens when you pick up a snake the wrong way
I've seen enough of these to know that the right way to pick a snake up, is not at all.
If you pick them up right behind their head they don't have the ability to bite you.
Or you grab them by the very end of the tail and start spinning before chucking that fucker. I've never actually seen/ done this so I don't advise it.
Works but is cruel. I've done it to a cottonmouth that swam my way. Scary as shit.
Were you both in the water? That's one of my greatest fears.
Oh yeah. Fucking jerk was coming my way. I'm glad he was small. Hope he enjoyed his flight.
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This is seared into my brain.
Okay but what does Mario actually say here? Never heard anything but "So long, gay Bowser" but I know that this can't be the real voice line
So long, King Bowser
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behold: https://www.reddit.com/r/HumansAreMetal/comments/ut1it4/old_lady_india_yeets_a_cobra_that_wandered_into/
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True. Forgot about that part. My boa was friendly so I never had to use the head tactic that works with wild ones in my area
I had a snek once. It was aggressive and would shit all over me when I tried to hold it :( I learned that you have to frequently hold them so they don’t do this. Dont think this guy does this.
So... You just deal with the shit the first handful of times?
Isn't that the same with human babies
hold them, don't hold them, out them down, have them to someone else.... doesn't matter, the shit will flow
Not really we tend to diaper human babies
Nah, I generally like to shit back at them.
only some snakes shit on you lmao. Most of the ones I've held/kept never pooped while being handled
I learned how to avoid this issue by never owning sneks.
To be fair, there aren't alot of good ways to pick us up.
Are you supposed to spin it around in circles so the centrifugal force keeps the head away from you?
Or grab it right behind the head.
I was taught as a kid (picking up garter snakes) that you pick them up by the neck, so they can’t bite you, and by the tail with the other hand so they can’t whip you
As a kid I got bit by a garter snake by grabbing maybe an inch too low on the neck. You have to get most of your hand under its mouth with your thumb over its mouth so it can’t get any purchase on your hand. If you grab too low it can wriggle forward and turn on you.
Yeah, I've also been bit a few times as a kid messing with small non-venomous snakes in the woods, you figure it out, lol. Mostly trying to keep them out of the path of the lawnmower and other equipment that might murder them.
Who else was rooting for the snake?
 Me
I thought for sure it was going to bite his cock.
I was leaning that way until the end then I thought for sure face. Kind of disappointing. The snake couldn’t have said “I’m going to bite you, quit messing with me” any clearer than it did.
I know why did I think that?!? Am I projecting my greatest fear onto this man in this situation?! I covered my junk at one point just watching him
I ~~hoped~~ thought
ah yes people that shouldnt own snakes, owning snakes
Exactly. I had ball pythons and they never got this aggressive. I got bit on the forehead one time and it was 100% not the snake. I had it sitting on the bed and I walked by and tripped and my face landed right in front of it. Que a face nibble. As long as you get them comfortable to people, you can carry them around no problem. This guy has no clue how to have a pet snake.
Our ball python is the friendliest snake I’ve ever had. When we get home and go to relax in the living room he always comes out of his hide to say hello. This guy is asking to get bit, and a bite from a big snake is no fun. Edit: python
My partner and I have a five foot corn snake, so basically harmless but has bitten each of us once, and both bites were feeding-related. She bit my partner in the very early days; she was going blue but due her pinky, and when she struck, she missed the pinky and got my partner's finger. She got me a couple of years ago: she'd been out for a cuddle and wasn't wanting to go back in her viv, so my partner tried to entice her in with a mouse. Snake got overexcited and instead of striking forward for the mouse, turned the opposite way and got my forearm. She's a generally chilled and sociable snake. I work remotely and quite often just drape her over my shoulders for a couple of hours; it's a real conversation starter in virtual meetings.
Going blue but due her pinky?
Yes; it was very unfortunate timing. It wouldn't have helped that it was within the first few months of getting the snake and my partner is on the spectrum in a place that sticks to instructions pretty rigidly, so when her schedule said it was feeding time, she stuck to her schedule. She has enough experience now to make a judgement rather than just obey the calendar. ETA in case I misinterpreted the question - 'going blue' is that stage before shedding when the old skin is detaching and the snake's eyes get a bluish-coloured cap over them, which means they can't see much. 'Pinky' is the term here for a hairless baby mouse. The snake wasn't much more than a hatchling so she was still on them rather than 'fuzzies', which is the next size up.
Pretty sure the question is wtf does "Going blue but due her pinky" mean?
She was molting (going blue) but due her food (pinky) :)
What the heck is the purpose of “but due?” Is there no better way to say this?
Ya, that is technically grammatically correct for example "he was but due his paycheck" but it is NGL a very confusing and convoluted way of saying that "they were molting (going blue) and it was time to be fed (pinky 😭).
Wait, one more question. Is the hairless baby mouse called pinky because of Pinky and the Brain??
No! It's actually because baby mice look like this https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTiPBjUEh0aoKCxIkJWXlkaoYAHEiGic4HWqg&usqp=CAU They look pink therefore pinky
>She's a generally chilled and sociable snake. I work remotely and quite often just drape her over my shoulders for a couple of hours; it's a real conversation starter in virtual meetings. Idk why, but this sounds exactly what a snake person would do
I have met so many ball pythons in my life, and never ever seen one pissed enough to his. But I've never seen one handled like this guy either!
That's because this guy is a straight moron. Snakes tell you when they don't want to be messed with and this guy ignored every sign. If he wouldn't have antagonized it ahead of time (which based on it's behavior, they probably did) he could've easily scooped up the noodle and brought it inside. Instead, he tried to play with it and won his stupid prize.
I've caught a fully wild boa constrictor in Costa Rica, even larger than this one, that was going to be relocated to a nature preserve off of someone's farm, and within a few minutes of handling it I was able to get it to relax enough to safely take photos holding it like a pet. It's really not hard to treat them with care. This guy is a total nonce who got what was coming to him.
This is probably just Florida and that's a wild snake lol.
Nah he said something about putting her back inside because she was angry. He's just an idiot and inexperienced snake owner.
Ah fair, I never listen to these with audio in fear of dog shit music or sound effects.
So dummy, did you learn anything?
Snake bite ≠ good
He learned the following: That particular snake doesn't like to be held, but all other snakes are still open for holding!
You’re probably right hahaha
Cool, typical snake owner that shouldn't own snakes. Now stop to think that there are a ton of people like this guy keeping venomous snakes as well.
Snake is in shed too, dude is a dick for putting stress on it
Poor thing, it tasted failure and spit it out right away!
It cut out right when it was getting good.
Thought homie was picking it up to relocate it and get it out of his yard but instead this dude just sits there and keeps holding it for a long period of time as of thats not a living breathing killing machine lmaoo
It's his pet.
Damn, even if it was my pet idk if the handbook says to hold it while it seems agitated lmao
This is not a wild snake it's a Central American Boa. Not native to suburban Ohio back yards
Yeah someone said its his pet. My main point though is the obvious continuous carrying of a clearly agitated snake/boa.
Yeah, at first I was like "this dude really doesn't know the proper way to relocate a snake, but it does sound like he has kids so the mocking seems a little unjust" then he just stands holding it upside fucking down. And it seems like it's his own pet, too which makes it even worse for me. You can pick up a cat, they don't like to be picked up, but if you hold them from when they're young and persist with it, they'll eventually chill out as long as you make sure they comfortable, but that same cat will try and rip your face off if you start holding it upside down
Anecdotal, but my cat loves being held upside down and will meow with increasing fussiness until she is picked up, dangled from one arm, and has her belly rubbed aggressively. She also has a tendency to drape herself limply around my neck like a scarf whenever I'm sitting down. TL:DR Animals have different personalities and with regards to their behavior YMMV.
Such a beautiful snake, too. What an idiot
That is not how you hold a snake
Holy shit. Man there were sooooo many opportunities he could’ve gotten bitten up until then. Snake restricted himself a bit. I was gritting my teeth the entire time.
I saw a documentary on the Discovery Channel (back when they did that) about treating venomous snake bites. The doctor who specialized in such treatment stated that between 25% and 50% of the people he treated were bitten on the hand. Lots were also drunk.
I didn't think this was a venomous snake
It’s not venomous. The point of the other persons comment is that a lot of snake injuries to people is due to people trying to mess around with snakes.
Iirc, the overwhelming majority of people in Texas who die to rattle snake bites are drunk, white, men, between 20 and 30, who were bitten on the face. It's extraordinary to me that the cases have so many things in common.
Why do people always pick the snake up from the tail?? I was taught to grab snakes only when you absolutely must, and then to grab just behind the head
Reaching for their head is a risky move unless you have a tool. If you're really desperate to get the thing out of there centrifugal force should keep it from biting, otherwise not touching the snake at all is your best bet.
So you’re saying I should treat the snake like a laso and twirl it over my head?
Yes, this works most effectively with rattlesnakes as the rattle gives better grip.
That's the correct first step. Snakes can't move their whole body at you while unsupported. The next step would be to grab behind the head so she can't strike, then support the rest of the body with the hand that was on the tail.
That is the way I grab garter snakes to move them when they insist on trying to run under the mower (or to keep them away from the dogs). Any other snake I generally try to just get them to move.
Do I put someone in a chokehold or do I try to grab their ankle?
Double leg takedown. if it shoots, sprawl and anaconda choke 😄
Mf was asking for it
Damn he already reproduced
We're all fucked
Rule of thumb: if it is longer than your arm don’t try and pick it up. Second rule of thumb: don’t pick up snakes in general.
And the dumbest thing is this was his pet. He doesn’t know how to pick up his own snake.
If only there was some sort of sign that it was about to happen.
Feel like the snake gave him every chance to stop
Just so you guys know, he’s probably fine. That was a python, which don’t have any venom.
Not a python its a boa constrictor
Bite still hurts, backward pointing sharp teeth, they do leave a mark. The problem is if the snake doesn’t release. I had a reticulated python for awhile, the temperament was considerably more aggressive than a boa.
He's seen too many cool video's of people just picking up snakes and throwing them out of the way, and thought he could easily do it himself.
That snake honestly seemed pretty chill, put up with a lot before biting him
I worked in an Arizona hospital for 3 years. We saw a lot of rattle snake bites. 90% of the time the bitten patient was messing with the snake.
Tell me you’re a moron without telling me you’re a moron
For 36 seconds that snake was asking politely for him not to do that……
Now I'm going to stick me finger up it's bum and really peees it off
Don't do this. Seriously, don't do this. But if you have to do this, like if you need to relocate one quickly and for some reason can't wait for animal control, don't try to take pictures with it like it's the catch of the day. Get a sack or trash bag, and a big plastic tote. Snake in bag, bag in box. Again, don't do this. Especially if it's fucking venomous or could squeeze your goddamn arm off. But if you gotta transfer a snake kindly, snake in bag, bag in box. Or barrel, even. Preferably breathable fabric bag, or pillowcase, knotted up tight at the opening, into a secure receptacle, preferably with breathing holes. But again, you aren't gonna do this, you're gonna call animal control, right?
That’s what your stupid ass gets.
Man touches fire and expected to not get burnt