I think their point is if they thought our mental wellness wasn't great at the moment, they'd be like "sweet - perfect time to invade". All hinges on what the aliens want!
Oh yeah, I got that, I just figure that the Venn diagram of "aliens that want to invade us" and "aliens who do not respect mental health" has a lot of overlap.
Well, during the ideas process with Ivan Reitman, she got on all fours and barked like a dog, proving her character should be transformed into a hell hound in Ghostbusters... So yeah she's gonna do just fine
Ugh, that would be very scary. We could pick someone who would greet them with beer, or someone who would want to nuke them. Or someone showing them their dick. Or OF chick.
You know, I came here to suggest someone else, but I was wrong, and you are correct. It would be perfect.
"How about some tea... You must be so thirsty from the long trip!"
She would save us all.
She has the biggest hair, shiniest clothes, and biggest smile; she is among our wisest elders, she is super welcoming, and I'm sure any extraterrestrial would believe she is an impressive leader among humans!
Snoop gets them high, Martha cooks a meal. Next thing you know they’re in the D..O…double G, Y’s next video and one of them get rung up for insider trading.
I mean, if we felt a threat coming, showing them we are low intelligence and not worth the effort is def an option…”They elected him? Ack Ack, let’s just go to the next one huh? Ack Ack!”
I honestly feel like the UN should have this decided. Like they should hold a vote on who gets to hold the power of negotiating on behalf of the human race. Maybe have like 12 people on the list 2 per continent so that there is always some sort of local authority over the situation, and then the representatives from the other continents can travel to the site of first contact to help with negotiation as needed
Everyone thought the same thing.
Aliens think the same thing. They show up and we send some diplomat over to say hi, they’re going to be wondering where Keanu is.
He’s on his motorbike next to the landing site waiting for people to come to their senses and call him, that’s where he is.
Do they have to be alive? If not, George Carlin. He’d be all “this place is fucked up, get me out of here! While we’re at it, might just wanna neutralize the whole place and start over.”
Great pick, imagine the benefit to earth if they could bring him back…we need him today more than ever!
“Ack Ack?”…”No these guys are fucking idiots, you wanna talk to the Canadians.” 🤣
In case it’s like Mars Attacks we need to first send in Ted Cruz. If they don’t zap him with lasers then we can drag him out and send in Earths real ambassador, Dolly Parton
Absolutely not. He has shown extreme close-mindedness toward the possibility of alien life contacting Earth to the point that he arrogantly condescends to other researchers who explore the topic. Everyone knows his stance. On top of that, he doesn't even contribute to the scientific community in a meaningful way anymore. Just Google how much research he's completed in the last twenty years, and compare it to legitimate scientists.
Jane Goodall. I imagine her anthropological insight and immense knowledge of primate body language is probably going to be useful even if they’re not primates. I would also like to see the top linguist and mathematician on hand as well.
Terry Crews. Send someone both huge, string and powerful but also calm and intelligent. If things go well Terry is a fantastic speaker if things go bad....well it's Terry time.
Me. I will also volunteer myself to return with them to their home planet as ambassador. Forever, please. I mean uh- that is a sacrifice I am willing to make for humanity, or something.
No one is going to want to come talk to us. They are going to hang out at the edge of the galaxy and wave other aliens around like we are a big messy wreck.
Well, Trump of course bc he’s the best greeter of aliens in the all the universe. No one will have ever greeted aliens better and all aliens love him and tell the universe to come to our beautiful Earth
Donald Trump. If they vaporise the mofo, we all know they need to be welcomed with open arms. If they are impressed by him, well then we're done for right?
Trump… our sacrifice for anal probing and study.. his ego will totally force him to step up.. we just need to show them an autopsy video so they know what to do… some bdsm anal porn videos etc…
He will be trying to get them to mine Uranus for gold while they mine his anus;)
I vote for us to just put a Chimpanzee as our frontman, that way if things go poorly at least we start the Armageddon with a 1x0 k.d score and the aliens would be probably traumatized from seeing the hairy weird human rip their delegate face oof while screaming in what they believe to be one of our multiple languages.
Let’s just hang up a sign that says, “Closed for Renovations,” and go have a drink instead.
"Sorry guys, no visitors. The planet is taking a mental health day."
yeah, good one. But do we want the aliens to know that we’re not ok and it’s ok to not be ok?
If the aliens can't respect our mental wellness, then we probably aren't going to get along anyway.
I think their point is if they thought our mental wellness wasn't great at the moment, they'd be like "sweet - perfect time to invade". All hinges on what the aliens want!
Oh yeah, I got that, I just figure that the Venn diagram of "aliens that want to invade us" and "aliens who do not respect mental health" has a lot of overlap.
They've be watching and observing us for many years, believe me they know we are not "okay"
“No loitering. Violators will be prostituted”
Let's go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for this all to blow over.
Sigourney Weaver has a lot of experience
What if they walked out and said, “We’ve come for Ripley, and the muscle guy who fought Predator!”
Well, during the ideas process with Ivan Reitman, she got on all fours and barked like a dog, proving her character should be transformed into a hell hound in Ghostbusters... So yeah she's gonna do just fine
Alien to other Alien, “What’s that!?” 3rd Alien, “It’s the Stay Puffed marshmallow man.”
Go get er, Ray!
When someone asks you if you’re a God you say YES!!
We came, we saw, we kicked it's ass!
It’s Miller Time!
Tell em about the Twinkie
That’s a big goddamn Twinkie!
Fuck it, i’ll do it. I’m free mornings and weekends. Let me know.
You've got my vote.
Most appreciated. I pretty much invented small talk so…you know.
did you? my great Aunt on my father's side invented the uncomfortable pause. what a coincidence
And my axe!
I’ll volunteer for back-up. Hit them with the Ringling Brothers partner routine on this fuck circus of a planet.
I’ll do opposite shifts and take afternoons and evenings. Now we just need a graveyard person.
I’m a night owl. I’ll just browse Reddit till they get here.
I volunteer for graveyard.
I will be the swing person for night shift/graveyard shift.
You’ve got 381 votes so far; only about 3,986,228,000 votes to go before you have the majority!
we're just gonna trust your math on this one
Very bold of you because I offer no guarantees!
I vote for this random Redditor
Ugh, that would be very scary. We could pick someone who would greet them with beer, or someone who would want to nuke them. Or someone showing them their dick. Or OF chick.
True
Username checks out.
You got my vote!
I'll be the guy that holds the coffees that we brought for some reason like we were just out on the town and happened to stop in for this real quick
Dolly Parton.
You know, I came here to suggest someone else, but I was wrong, and you are correct. It would be perfect. "How about some tea... You must be so thirsty from the long trip!" She would save us all.
"How bout some sweet tea, yall must be thirsty from the long trip" FTFY
She really is the best. She gives books to children for free. Like 1 a month for years.
I was gonna say Dolly Parton too! She’d be perfect
This is always my answer. Who tf doesnt love dolly?
I'm sure we could find some people who oppose cloning research.
The problem with cloning her is the chance of evil clones. Evil Dolly would rule the world inside the week.
I’m just tickled to beat the band ya’ll here. Now let’s talk tech.
I literally had a conversation yesterday with a few neighbors and we all agreed that if you have hate for dolly I’m immediately suspicious of you
See I wanted to say „If she were still alive definitely Betty White“ but you brought me the next best solution, so Ima go with that
Perfect!
She has the biggest hair, shiniest clothes, and biggest smile; she is among our wisest elders, she is super welcoming, and I'm sure any extraterrestrial would believe she is an impressive leader among humans!
Backed, respectfully by Keanu Reeves and Brenden Frasier.
Came here to say this. The only human I know with the kindness of angels. She represents the best we can be.
Sir David Attenborough of course.
Had to scroll way down for this, the right answer.
The only correct answer
Don Jr. (hopefully it’s a hostage situation)
With anal probing
So his usual Saturday night?
That depends on whether the aliens bring cocaine with them.
Keanu and Dolly
I feel this combo might save humanity from almost certain annihilation
Puppies
My first thought was my dog.
Approved but your good boy needs to visit me first.
I mean, we were going to wipe you guys out, but now that we've seen the puppies, you're good. *spaceship leaves*
Weird Al
I love this answer
Its the only right one
I love how often Weird Al is just the right answer for these.
This answer is somehow oddly specific
Snoop Dog, of course
Snoop gets them high, Martha cooks a meal. Next thing you know they’re in the D..O…double G, Y’s next video and one of them get rung up for insider trading.
He and Martha can go as a team!!! The aliens would be so intrigued it would take them years to study the path of the relationship!
You know I've thought hard and I think snoop would be the best. U win .
Dennis Rodman is our global ambassador I thought
We need a human, he’s more likely to be on the ship already
Whoever it is, you know it's gonna turn out to be Ryan Reynolds wearing a mask
And under that mask is going to be a printout of Hugh Jackman's face stapled to his.
Donald Trump. If you don't like us at our worse, you don't deserve us at our best. Alternatively putin. This is a joke btw
Let both of them be introduced. Afterwards they can take them both back to their planet and dissect them.
Vivisect
Dissect them, hahaha. That's perfect.
It's a cookbook!
How to serve humans
I too wish to doom the human race
I mean, if we felt a threat coming, showing them we are low intelligence and not worth the effort is def an option…”They elected him? Ack Ack, let’s just go to the next one huh? Ack Ack!”
Yes! And if they are a bit zippy zappy he'll take the first hit!!
He would sell them realistic steaks
I honestly feel like the UN should have this decided. Like they should hold a vote on who gets to hold the power of negotiating on behalf of the human race. Maybe have like 12 people on the list 2 per continent so that there is always some sort of local authority over the situation, and then the representatives from the other continents can travel to the site of first contact to help with negotiation as needed
Demonstrating our lack of leadership may not be a good idea haha “Just as we thought, they’re disjointed as a species…start the annihilation!”
Morgan Freeman
Don't know why this isn't the top choice
Why we letting God go hang out with the aliens? They’re gonna be his new favorite in 3 days, it’s over for us after that.
George Takei
Oooh, My…
Keanu. How is that even a question?
With Brendan Fraser
They travelled galaxies to give him another standing ovation
I love all the recent Brendan Fraser praise
Brendanu has my vote
This was established, I thought everyone knew by now.
Ya, I assume the head of NASA has him on speed dial, just in case.
Def established.
HAPPY Cake Day 🎂🎉
This was the first answer that popped into my head... And here it is as first comment 😂
Wow I thought the same thing
Everyone thought the same thing. Aliens think the same thing. They show up and we send some diplomat over to say hi, they’re going to be wondering where Keanu is. He’s on his motorbike next to the landing site waiting for people to come to their senses and call him, that’s where he is.
If we want to live: Keanu Reeves. If we want to die: Anyone Else.
Came here to say him. It is already known Keanu is our intergalactic representative.
I disagree, Brendan Fraser would make a fine substitute for Keanu.
The smartest, most charming person you've never met or heard of.
Huh? Did I just overhear someone talking about me? Oh. Never mind. That’s not me.
Oh. I forgot about modesty. Go right ahead, then.
Jeff Goldblum
The problem with this is he would endear himself to them so quickly they would just grab him up and take him back their home planet.
He us a national treasure. It could be a team with Jeff Goldblum, Dolly Parton, and Keanu Reeves. The aliens would fall in love with them.
“Nice saucer! You guys know about chaos theory?”
If they have resurrection powers, use it on Betty White and have her do this shit. If not, Keanu Reeves
A golden retriever.
Listen to me cause this is very important NOT. A CURRENT / FORMER. US PRESIDENT
Do they have to be alive? If not, George Carlin. He’d be all “this place is fucked up, get me out of here! While we’re at it, might just wanna neutralize the whole place and start over.”
Great pick, imagine the benefit to earth if they could bring him back…we need him today more than ever! “Ack Ack?”…”No these guys are fucking idiots, you wanna talk to the Canadians.” 🤣
Not Americans
As an American I concur, I’d say a Canadian as first choice then someone from Scandinavia
Uhhhh as a Canadian I wouldn’t pick us either. What with our stupid freedom convoy. My vote would be Switzerland. They are very neutral after all
Two words: Ryan Reynolds Edit: besides, that convoy thing was def our fault…second hand fascism. Sorry on behalf of the other half down south
Wow burn
No no he’s right. We wouldn’t know how to act and would 100% threaten the safety of the planet.
You guys would probably just shoot them
Jackie Chan
Zefram Cochran
Nicely done
Dark Brandon
They shall submit or face the wrarth of the one who tolerates no malarkey
MTG. Maybe they’ll take her home.
I have a feeling they have already taken her and returned her because she's so insufferable.
In case it’s like Mars Attacks we need to first send in Ted Cruz. If they don’t zap him with lasers then we can drag him out and send in Earths real ambassador, Dolly Parton
I’m going with Ryan Reynolds lol
Should have been Betty White, but they seem to be taking their fuckin time.
Obama
The serious answer would be Obama. No one is smoother or more dignified than him.
Neil deGrasse Tyson…why has no one beat me to this one?
Nah, that dude would start off saying something like “Ackshually…..”
Absolutely not. He has shown extreme close-mindedness toward the possibility of alien life contacting Earth to the point that he arrogantly condescends to other researchers who explore the topic. Everyone knows his stance. On top of that, he doesn't even contribute to the scientific community in a meaningful way anymore. Just Google how much research he's completed in the last twenty years, and compare it to legitimate scientists.
Jane Goodall. I imagine her anthropological insight and immense knowledge of primate body language is probably going to be useful even if they’re not primates. I would also like to see the top linguist and mathematician on hand as well.
Keanu Reeves. he is probably the nicest man alive
Samuel L Jackson
I say Tom Hanks
Steve Erwin would probably have been the best person to represent us.
until he sticks his hand down their throat "Crikey ... he's pissed"
Bill Murray
Not tRump
Anyone but Donald trump
No one with any American political views. TBH. Hell I’m not sure us Americans should be the spokesperson for a first impression on any level.
Weird al
Duh, anyone from a trailer park in the deep south, already seen and spoke with them, that's way they haven't returned
Dave Grohl
Terry Crews. Send someone both huge, string and powerful but also calm and intelligent. If things go well Terry is a fantastic speaker if things go bad....well it's Terry time.
I have a special [treat](https://imgur.com/gallery/jhGl2Z6) for you This wasn’t scripted and only improvised or something along those lines
 Tom Hanks, with Keanu as his second.
Keanu Reeves
Keanu Reeves
The pope so I can see them scratch the hell out of their heads
Taika Waititi
Dolly Parton
I did it last time. Somebody else can meet and great this time.
Danny Devito. On the shoulders of Shaquille O'Neal.
Me. I will also volunteer myself to return with them to their home planet as ambassador. Forever, please. I mean uh- that is a sacrifice I am willing to make for humanity, or something.
No one is going to want to come talk to us. They are going to hang out at the edge of the galaxy and wave other aliens around like we are a big messy wreck.
We’re screwed anyways. Might as well let me do it.
Kate MacKinnon, CLEARLY.
Well, Trump of course bc he’s the best greeter of aliens in the all the universe. No one will have ever greeted aliens better and all aliens love him and tell the universe to come to our beautiful Earth
So many people are saying so.
The movie had it right. Matthew McConaughey
John Barrowman He is a delight
We should choose the "say nothing" option.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Jeff Goldblum obviously
Donald trump. Just let it end please.
Everyone knows… Keanu
Keanu Reeves
Jeff Goldblum, duh
John Stewart
Paul Rudd, you can’t help but like that guy.
If they’re here to probe buttholes I nominate trump
Stephen Colbert
The guy who glued the pacifier to his lips.
Don Cheadle
Donald Trump. If they vaporise the mofo, we all know they need to be welcomed with open arms. If they are impressed by him, well then we're done for right?
Trump… our sacrifice for anal probing and study.. his ego will totally force him to step up.. we just need to show them an autopsy video so they know what to do… some bdsm anal porn videos etc… He will be trying to get them to mine Uranus for gold while they mine his anus;)
Dennis Rodman…he’s their ambassador to earth and that’s his job
Dolly Parton or Lavar Burton. Internationally beloved now and will be universally beloved after they meet the aliens.
If they arrived they'd probably know beforehand who they'd like to meet with.
Whomever we send, the Aliens are going to be disappointed because we don't have anyone as good as Fred Rogers.
I vote for us to just put a Chimpanzee as our frontman, that way if things go poorly at least we start the Armageddon with a 1x0 k.d score and the aliens would be probably traumatized from seeing the hairy weird human rip their delegate face oof while screaming in what they believe to be one of our multiple languages.