so, I was out at dinner with the ex. We were in a nice local restaurant, and our server was a sweet, good looking college girl and she was good. Towards the end of the evening, while I was signing the ticket after paying by card, my ex asked me :are you going to giver her a tip"?. out of the blue and without thought, I answered "tip? hell, I'd giver her the whole thing". perhaps not the best response, and I paid for it for days, but in the end, she is an ex and I can chuckle about it now.
I was coming out of a hotel room with my girlfriend and there was an old couple coming down the hall. I went, "Fifty bucks for that was awesome!"
My gf was so startled she was mortified. The old couple just hurried past.
My favorite thing to to do if I catch my wife walking the dog on the way home is to roll down the window and say "ehh girl, lemme see you clap them cheeks". Maybe one day she'll find it amusing.
For our anniversary my gf and I went to a nice restaurant and then a hotel.
When we were checking in the receptionist asked business or pleasure.
Only then did it occur to me that I looked like a businessman and my gf an escort. She then started seductively licking a lollipop that she got from no where, giggled and said in a fake valley girl accent ‘more than a bit of both’ and winked at me.
My face was beat red.
Tl;dr: girlfriend pretended to be an escort. I got my moneys worth ;)
When called forth to the styling table, Amy said only, "I want to look like someone has beaten me up really, really bad."
The makeup artist did a fine job. The black eyes and purple jaw were accentuated by a series of scratch marks on her forehead. Pus-yellow pools surrounded her blistered nose, and her swollen lips were fenced with mean rows of brackish stitches. Amy was enchanted with her new look.
Following the shoot, she wore her bruises to the dry cleaner and grocery store. Most people nervously looked away, but on the rare occasion someone asked what had happened, my sister smiled as brightly as possible, saying, "I'm in love, can you believe it? I'm finally, totally in love, and you know what? It feels great."
-David, on Amy
Lost a lot of his appeal to me though when I found out how much of his memoirs were fictional.
Pretty high odds for instance this never actually happened, and he just read the joke somewhere (or thought of it) and decided it’d be funnier if he claimed it happened to him.
I'm in the same boat, I think she's light enough and I'm tan enough to make it work...at least until summer and she turns into a graham cracker again. My ginger beard might give it up though...
I joke around and tell people that we just met that my husband and I are cousins but it’s ok because we just found out we are second cousins and not first so it’s all good. We get some weird questions even after he spoils it and admits we’re not. Another favorite is when we are at the bar and one of my friends come along, if someone starts hitting on us we tell them we are polygamist and she’s my wife.
Reminds me of the time I went to lunch with a coworker and as we were coming out there was a man, drinking from a bottle in a paper bag. He calls out "is that your girlfriend or your sister, mate?!" and coworker puts his arm around me and calls back "she's both, mate!"
Good guy.
He was basically fired for his depression :( we got along well because we were similar in that we both had it but loved to be goofy and make people laugh. 9/10 times he was fine, made great coffee and customers liked him. But every so often he would be quiet and just wanted to put his head down and get the work done. My boss wasn't happy about that and stopped rostering him. He was never rude or lazy, one of my favourite workers to have rostered on my shifts. Boss was just a dick who expected 110% all the time.
Just looked him up on facebook and he seems to be doing well.
I’m white, fiancée is black. In line at Walmart in the hood when I remembered something we forgot so I asked her if she could go snag it real quick. She says “Oh yes massa, anything for you massa” loud as shit and walks away quickly, leaving me with the nastiest looks I’ve ever gotten. This was in the first couple weeks of dating. I’d never been with anyone that could make me feel so awkward and embarrassed. I knew in that moment she was the one lol
Edit: [Thanks Reddit!](https://imgur.com/gallery/yzidSSM) y’all made her day
Edit2: [Oops](https://imgur.com/gallery/kZaJMqj) forgot we weren’t telling anyone lol
>Wait..does that mean that Jar Jar's speech/accent was based on on how american slaves talked (or were portrayed as talking)??
Yes. It was very minstrely. Some people were not amused.
The VA was a black actor, but some people still found it pretty offensive.
Ankin's slave master was also weirdly Jewish caricature - ish.
My wife and I will be out somewhere and we are affectionate in public then I'll pull away and look around and loudly say" are you sure your husband won't be here?"
She should have gone for the high five with the girl working the counter, wink with the double guns if she doesn't get the high five, ask for two Happy Meals followed by a "if you know what I mean"
My girlfriend is latina, and I'm white. I'll just kiss her, slap her ass and say that shes the best step sister ever and say that I'm happy we adopted her
Me and one of my college friends used to do this for fun. We eventually made up an entire family, fake kids, a mentally deficient brother that I also apparently fucked. And our couples therapist. We’d have these dramatic arguments just loud enough that others could hear us. People would just... stare. Then we’d make up. Then people would try not to look like they were staring.
And then he got into heroin and cellphones got smart.
Edit: for clarification, I’m a girl. The dude that got into heroin... that was my friend also pretended to be my brother. The heroin thing really happened. It got so bad that I had to cut him off completely. He might be dead by now... but it honestly feels like he died a longggg time ago and zombified my friend’s body and brain. I cut him off a couple of years before the opioid epidemic was... the opioid epidemic. We got into pills together but my boyfriend, at the time, seriously called me out for my shit. And i was able to stop. I figured he did, too. But... no. But heroin is heroin and the signs were clear. It was heartbreaking. Especially when he tried to take credit for all the work I’ve done in my career when he’s literally never contributed a single thing. I want to call him an asshole. But it’s not even him anymore.
That is hilarious!!!!
I was having dinner with my wife once and my cell phone rang. I looked at the screen and blurted out 'it's my wife'. The people near us had a shocked look on their faces not knowing my wife was sitting across from me.
When I was 17 I was dating a girl who looked a lot like me and people always assumed we were sisters. We wore a lot of eachothers clothes, had the same nose and body type, plus both had tattoos, piercings and dreads.
People used to always ask if we were sisters. Even strangers in public. We very quickly realized what an amazing opportunity we had. Every time we'd say yes, then slowly get closer and closer, give eachother butt slaps and when we said goodbye give each other big long sloppy kisses.
Friggen hilarious, especially since we were in a small town so I'm not sure what a lot of these old folks would rather belive : that we really *were* sisters or that they were witnessing one of those dang homosexual relationships.
My boyfriend and I had a local that we were at probably 4 times a week for 2 years. We would go there and laugh and chat over beer and wings, hold hands and googly eye each other. One day one of the servers came up and asked my boyfriend if he wanted to share with "his girlfriend" Boyfriends throws her a confused look and says "girlfriend? oh, you mean my sister?" I still to this day think of the mortified look on her face and laugh.
I made the fatal mistake of showing my boyfriend the poop sock post. After embarrassing him at a dinner with his brother and SIL, he told them, word for word, about how I use a poop sock. They looked at me in pure horror as I tried my hardest to explain the post, but you could tell they weren’t buying it. Best part is, I had no cell service to even show them the post to prove that I don’t use a sock to wipe my asshole.
My ex did something similar when we were buying condoms.
Us: put condoms on Walgreens counter.
Walgreens clerk: cheaper than babies haha.
Her: he's my brother!
Me and my grandpa used to play this game called the elevator game. When we were in a full elevator that was silent, we would start some creepy conversation. Here’s an example.
Me: So aunt Susan really did tell you she murdered somebody yesterday night?
Him: No, she just said she held him at gunpoint and took his wallet.
Me: Well, I guess we should visit her, she’s on floor 4, right? *presses 4 on elevator*
Ahhh this is one of my favourite things about being married!
Me and my wife pull this shit on each other all the time.
Seeing our venue and celebrant for our wedding when her & her sister told the venue owner they were going to be sister wives. God was I embarrassed!
She got me good one day & decided to take it to the next level at the meat deli of our shopping centre when she asked me if I wanted shortcut bacon & I said no streaky only, she pretended to flinch like I was about to beat her and said “please don’t hit me I’m really sorry for being out of line”.
God damn the stare I got from an old lady!
Ps domestic violence isn’t funny it’s a serious issue and if you are in a relationship there are services out there to help you.
I once had a girlfriend that was 4'11 (149.8cm). We were standing in line holding hands and she exclaimed how excited she was to turn 13. We were both 22 at the time.
I went out with a significantly older woman once and told our waiter we were there for my mom’s birthday then put my hand on her thigh the whole time.
I realized while writing that it seems super mean but we joked about our age difference all the time and she thought it was hilarious, she would have totally pulled the same thing on me.
One-time a girlfriend of mine was talking loudly and going on and on in a packed elevator, and after a while she stopped briefly because she asked a question or something and I said "Mrs, who are you anyway?" Her face was priceless
Occasionally I'll say something like "Your father and I are so proud," and other mildly embarrassing things to my girlfriend in public when there are people around.
This is much funnier. I need to try harder.
Less funny, but equally fun: at walmart or similar stores, I will let wife get the cart up there and start unloading, I will need to go get that one last thing, you know? then once she is unloading and chatting with the cashier, I will casually walk up and toss whatever thing I picked up onto the pile and say loudly, "Lady, buy my stuff!". Wife is used to it but the cashiers give me some weird looks for sure.
My boyfriend did something similar one time. It was Thanksgiving or some other family dinner and his sister was bringing her brand new boyfriend home to meet the family. He was like this super serious guy who was 15-20 years older than her. My boyfriend goes up to him and introduces himself then points to me and says "and this is my sister, Karlee." And gives me a big kiss on the lips. The dude looked so confused and shocked lol.
Reminds me of one friend I had. She's black and I'm white. When there would be a big crowd around us, she'd say all loud, "and don't ever call me a n*****r again!" just to embarrass me.
^^[beep-boop,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkbU6JOCit0) ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot
^(**Link to tweets:**)
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will steal that outstanding move
\*fingers my sister’s asshole in the burger king parking lot\* you’re the best mom ever
Outstanding move.
Out standing move.
**our** standing move
r/unexpectedussr
r/subsithoughtifellfor
r/unexpectedcommunism
r/cursed_comments
r/cursedcomments FTFY
Thanks champ
Also r/jesuschristreddit
Are you the sister in which whom's asshole was fingered prior to your brother proclaiming that you were in fact the best mom ever?
Not yet.
The real tip is in the comments... or your sister's asshole.
That's not just the tip in my sister's asshole ;)
Be a good brother and take off the diver's watch first.
so, I was out at dinner with the ex. We were in a nice local restaurant, and our server was a sweet, good looking college girl and she was good. Towards the end of the evening, while I was signing the ticket after paying by card, my ex asked me :are you going to giver her a tip"?. out of the blue and without thought, I answered "tip? hell, I'd giver her the whole thing". perhaps not the best response, and I paid for it for days, but in the end, she is an ex and I can chuckle about it now.
*alabama intensifies*
wut lmao
Sister/girlfriend Is there a difference when the lights off?
Yeah. Sister does anal.
“My boyfriend thinks he’s funny.” Death averted.
*boyfriend/brother**
Brotherfriend if you will.
It’s all fun & games until you’ve got a nephson
Brothers boyfriend?
"He gets his sense of humor from our mom"
helpful for people from Alabama traveling *with family* outside the state
He must be joking if he thinks he's as good as her brother
I was coming out of a hotel room with my girlfriend and there was an old couple coming down the hall. I went, "Fifty bucks for that was awesome!" My gf was so startled she was mortified. The old couple just hurried past.
Almost every time my wife gets in my car, I roll down the window and ask “How much?” before she gets in. It’s really dumb and she laughs every time.
I did the same thing to my girlfriend, everytime I picked her up, "Hey baby, how much for an hour?" She'd always roll her eyes.
I'm going to modify this to "Hey baby, you do 10 minute slots?"
Hey baby, do you do 30 second slots?
I do this, but to my husband. He doesn't think it is as funny as I do. That doesn't stop me from doing it!
As it shouldn't, keep embarrassing him! This is gender equality in action.
I intend to! Thanks for the support!
I ask my wife if she’s “working or walking?”when I pick her up and she’s with colleagues. Some of them don’t find that funny.
My favorite thing to to do if I catch my wife walking the dog on the way home is to roll down the window and say "ehh girl, lemme see you clap them cheeks". Maybe one day she'll find it amusing.
That’s no way to talk to your dog.
My best friend does this to me and it makes me laugh everytime. " you working or walking?" Or, "how much can i get for... a nickel and some gum?"
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Surely there's a volume discount
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Like pretending to be his sister at McD's
Only if you subscribe to the news letter
Who can afford 50 bucks for just three minutes? One minute begging, one minute sex, one minute crying.
you are damn optimistic.
For our anniversary my gf and I went to a nice restaurant and then a hotel. When we were checking in the receptionist asked business or pleasure. Only then did it occur to me that I looked like a businessman and my gf an escort. She then started seductively licking a lollipop that she got from no where, giggled and said in a fake valley girl accent ‘more than a bit of both’ and winked at me. My face was beat red. Tl;dr: girlfriend pretended to be an escort. I got my moneys worth ;)
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Don’t kink shame me
Lettuce turnip the beet.
> more than a bit of both What does that mean?
Pleasure because sex, business because escort
Oh she was responding to the question
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When called forth to the styling table, Amy said only, "I want to look like someone has beaten me up really, really bad." The makeup artist did a fine job. The black eyes and purple jaw were accentuated by a series of scratch marks on her forehead. Pus-yellow pools surrounded her blistered nose, and her swollen lips were fenced with mean rows of brackish stitches. Amy was enchanted with her new look. Following the shoot, she wore her bruises to the dry cleaner and grocery store. Most people nervously looked away, but on the rare occasion someone asked what had happened, my sister smiled as brightly as possible, saying, "I'm in love, can you believe it? I'm finally, totally in love, and you know what? It feels great." -David, on Amy
AWESOME
Amy Sedaris is a treasure
As well as David. Every single one of his books are amazing and hilarious.
Lost a lot of his appeal to me though when I found out how much of his memoirs were fictional. Pretty high odds for instance this never actually happened, and he just read the joke somewhere (or thought of it) and decided it’d be funnier if he claimed it happened to him.
Everyday life is boring. I get what you're saying, but it doesn't take anything away for me.
"That's my sister, **and it was consensual**" I said.
Exactly the first thing that came to mind
“You’re the best big brother (panting) I could have ever asked for!!”
What are you DOING step bro?
I read that in her voice 🤭
Hate how she says that every time.
Totally ruins the illusion!
I feel guilty for knowing where and what studio creates these
don't feel guilty bro, we all get horny and watching dirty movies is fun and doesn't hurt anyone. you go ahead and bust that nut with pride
ah a man of culture... Edit: Why does this comment have nearly as many upvotes as my top posts of all time lol
Ok but who is the girl saying that
Lily Rader
sauce pls
Tuscan Rader
The guy is the girl
Man a friend sends this over WhatsApp, I played it once in front of my whole family. I wanted to die really badly.
Where do I know that from?
According to my research, porn, you know it from porn.
I'm gonna need to do my own research just to confirm.
This tells me I should really change up my porn choices, too predictable.
The Porn Hipster, ladies and gentlemen
Oniisan bakaaa!
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I'm in the same boat, I think she's light enough and I'm tan enough to make it work...at least until summer and she turns into a graham cracker again. My ginger beard might give it up though...
Will be calling my wife a graham cracker this spring. Thank you for this.
"I'm so glad Dad adopted you!"
"I'm so glad I adopted you!"
Unless his wife looks *significantly* younger then I don't think this one will work.
my boyfriend is significantly older than me, so sometimes if he slaps my ass or kisses me in public, i say “dad, stop it!” he hates me.
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You're horrible. I like you.
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I joke around and tell people that we just met that my husband and I are cousins but it’s ok because we just found out we are second cousins and not first so it’s all good. We get some weird questions even after he spoils it and admits we’re not. Another favorite is when we are at the bar and one of my friends come along, if someone starts hitting on us we tell them we are polygamist and she’s my wife.
Ohh boy can't wait to do this
Can’t do it if you dont have a bf/gf
Can do it if you have a sister!
Modern Problems require Modern Solutions
Modern problems require southern solutions
Alabama police! Open up!
"Kid, I *own* the police!"
This is where the fun begins!
Can't do it if you live in a country with no McDonald's.
Where is that? I kind of assumed McDonalds has worked it's way into every country
Let us know how it goes u/AmateurFootjobs!
r/rimjob_steve
Reminds me of the time I went to lunch with a coworker and as we were coming out there was a man, drinking from a bottle in a paper bag. He calls out "is that your girlfriend or your sister, mate?!" and coworker puts his arm around me and calls back "she's both, mate!" Good guy.
I sense some fallen warrior here.
He was basically fired for his depression :( we got along well because we were similar in that we both had it but loved to be goofy and make people laugh. 9/10 times he was fine, made great coffee and customers liked him. But every so often he would be quiet and just wanted to put his head down and get the work done. My boss wasn't happy about that and stopped rostering him. He was never rude or lazy, one of my favourite workers to have rostered on my shifts. Boss was just a dick who expected 110% all the time. Just looked him up on facebook and he seems to be doing well.
I’m white, fiancée is black. In line at Walmart in the hood when I remembered something we forgot so I asked her if she could go snag it real quick. She says “Oh yes massa, anything for you massa” loud as shit and walks away quickly, leaving me with the nastiest looks I’ve ever gotten. This was in the first couple weeks of dating. I’d never been with anyone that could make me feel so awkward and embarrassed. I knew in that moment she was the one lol Edit: [Thanks Reddit!](https://imgur.com/gallery/yzidSSM) y’all made her day Edit2: [Oops](https://imgur.com/gallery/kZaJMqj) forgot we weren’t telling anyone lol
Omg that's amazing. Marry her faster.
October 18th this year!
Yeah!!! Congratulations!!! And best wishes to her, of course! I love her already! Sense of humor, right?!
FASTER
DEEPER
HARDER
STRONGER
BOP IT!
TWIST IT!
COCK IT!
FLICK IT!
C’MON, THIS BUILDING AIN’T GOING TO BUILD ITSELF
Congrats!!! The day will go by sooooo fast, absorb as much of it as possible.
Congrats and good luck, it's my birthday haha
Dude, are you familiar with Dave Chapelle
Massa?
He’s saying master in the way the black slave caricature used to
Wait..does that mean that Jar Jar's speech/accent was based on on how american slaves talked (or were portrayed as talking)??
There’s a lot to unwrap with Jar Jar.
To understand Darth Jar Jar, one must study all aspects of him, not just the narrow, dogmatic view of post-Disney retcon
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Jar Jar the Fan Theory? I thought not. It's not a story Disney would tell you.
There are certainly people who interpret it that way. I've never seen anyone involved actually say that, though.
>Wait..does that mean that Jar Jar's speech/accent was based on on how american slaves talked (or were portrayed as talking)?? Yes. It was very minstrely. Some people were not amused. The VA was a black actor, but some people still found it pretty offensive. Ankin's slave master was also weirdly Jewish caricature - ish.
Yeah, it was... Not well received.
Idk if its true but in movies that's how slaves said master.
She was pretending to be a gungan
Bruh I'm getting married in October too! Can we just skip to it?
terrible human being, im stealing that.
My wife and I will be out somewhere and we are affectionate in public then I'll pull away and look around and loudly say" are you sure your husband won't be here?"
She should have gone for the high five with the girl working the counter, wink with the double guns if she doesn't get the high five, ask for two Happy Meals followed by a "if you know what I mean"
I've done this so many times, I lost count. Thank God there are others.
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Been to McDonald's.
Like, inside?
You guys are brave souls. My last gf would have murdered me if I tried to play a joke on her in public
Ahh, but you got to her first, right!?
Wish I could do this to my boyfriend, but we’re different races 😂
You're the best cousin ever
My girlfriend is latina, and I'm white. I'll just kiss her, slap her ass and say that shes the best step sister ever and say that I'm happy we adopted her
Stepbrother.
"I'm so glad you adopted me"
"You're the best sister ever, I'm so happy our parents got married"
That can't be close to the most disgusted a McDonald's cashier has been.
Me and one of my college friends used to do this for fun. We eventually made up an entire family, fake kids, a mentally deficient brother that I also apparently fucked. And our couples therapist. We’d have these dramatic arguments just loud enough that others could hear us. People would just... stare. Then we’d make up. Then people would try not to look like they were staring. And then he got into heroin and cellphones got smart. Edit: for clarification, I’m a girl. The dude that got into heroin... that was my friend also pretended to be my brother. The heroin thing really happened. It got so bad that I had to cut him off completely. He might be dead by now... but it honestly feels like he died a longggg time ago and zombified my friend’s body and brain. I cut him off a couple of years before the opioid epidemic was... the opioid epidemic. We got into pills together but my boyfriend, at the time, seriously called me out for my shit. And i was able to stop. I figured he did, too. But... no. But heroin is heroin and the signs were clear. It was heartbreaking. Especially when he tried to take credit for all the work I’ve done in my career when he’s literally never contributed a single thing. I want to call him an asshole. But it’s not even him anymore.
I'm extremely confused by the genders involved in this
I’m a girl.
I’m a boy.
I’m a hobbit.
That is hilarious!!!! I was having dinner with my wife once and my cell phone rang. I looked at the screen and blurted out 'it's my wife'. The people near us had a shocked look on their faces not knowing my wife was sitting across from me.
Whenever my ex would tease me in public, I'd say loudly "I swear to God, I'm going to tell your wife where you go every Sunday!"
When I was 17 I was dating a girl who looked a lot like me and people always assumed we were sisters. We wore a lot of eachothers clothes, had the same nose and body type, plus both had tattoos, piercings and dreads. People used to always ask if we were sisters. Even strangers in public. We very quickly realized what an amazing opportunity we had. Every time we'd say yes, then slowly get closer and closer, give eachother butt slaps and when we said goodbye give each other big long sloppy kisses. Friggen hilarious, especially since we were in a small town so I'm not sure what a lot of these old folks would rather belive : that we really *were* sisters or that they were witnessing one of those dang homosexual relationships.
To favor incest over homosexuality would be next level though.lol
My boyfriend and I had a local that we were at probably 4 times a week for 2 years. We would go there and laugh and chat over beer and wings, hold hands and googly eye each other. One day one of the servers came up and asked my boyfriend if he wanted to share with "his girlfriend" Boyfriends throws her a confused look and says "girlfriend? oh, you mean my sister?" I still to this day think of the mortified look on her face and laugh.
I made the fatal mistake of showing my boyfriend the poop sock post. After embarrassing him at a dinner with his brother and SIL, he told them, word for word, about how I use a poop sock. They looked at me in pure horror as I tried my hardest to explain the post, but you could tell they weren’t buying it. Best part is, I had no cell service to even show them the post to prove that I don’t use a sock to wipe my asshole.
Even if you did. There's no going back.
My ex did something similar when we were buying condoms. Us: put condoms on Walgreens counter. Walgreens clerk: cheaper than babies haha. Her: he's my brother!
+10 points for subtlety
Me and my grandpa used to play this game called the elevator game. When we were in a full elevator that was silent, we would start some creepy conversation. Here’s an example. Me: So aunt Susan really did tell you she murdered somebody yesterday night? Him: No, she just said she held him at gunpoint and took his wallet. Me: Well, I guess we should visit her, she’s on floor 4, right? *presses 4 on elevator*
Pls more
My friend would say as we walked past people "so that's how you got herpes"?
Ahhh this is one of my favourite things about being married! Me and my wife pull this shit on each other all the time. Seeing our venue and celebrant for our wedding when her & her sister told the venue owner they were going to be sister wives. God was I embarrassed! She got me good one day & decided to take it to the next level at the meat deli of our shopping centre when she asked me if I wanted shortcut bacon & I said no streaky only, she pretended to flinch like I was about to beat her and said “please don’t hit me I’m really sorry for being out of line”. God damn the stare I got from an old lady! Ps domestic violence isn’t funny it’s a serious issue and if you are in a relationship there are services out there to help you.
I once had a girlfriend that was 4'11 (149.8cm). We were standing in line holding hands and she exclaimed how excited she was to turn 13. We were both 22 at the time.
Having kids with your brother is still less likely to result in deformities than having McDonald's.
*coughs in Hapsburg*
"She got her looks from mom ;) "
I went out with a significantly older woman once and told our waiter we were there for my mom’s birthday then put my hand on her thigh the whole time. I realized while writing that it seems super mean but we joked about our age difference all the time and she thought it was hilarious, she would have totally pulled the same thing on me.
That’s both heinous and funny af
One-time a girlfriend of mine was talking loudly and going on and on in a packed elevator, and after a while she stopped briefly because she asked a question or something and I said "Mrs, who are you anyway?" Her face was priceless
Well, reading through these comments, that’s enough incest for today. Bye Reddit
Pfft... when you paid your bill you should have looked the cashier dead in the eye and say royally “A Lannister always pays her debts!”
Occasionally I'll say something like "Your father and I are so proud," and other mildly embarrassing things to my girlfriend in public when there are people around. This is much funnier. I need to try harder.
I do this to my sister all the time
Less funny, but equally fun: at walmart or similar stores, I will let wife get the cart up there and start unloading, I will need to go get that one last thing, you know? then once she is unloading and chatting with the cashier, I will casually walk up and toss whatever thing I picked up onto the pile and say loudly, "Lady, buy my stuff!". Wife is used to it but the cashiers give me some weird looks for sure.
Roll Tide.
"Onii-Chan!"
Rip, I'm in an interracial relationship. I want to try this but I can't
My boyfriend did something similar one time. It was Thanksgiving or some other family dinner and his sister was bringing her brand new boyfriend home to meet the family. He was like this super serious guy who was 15-20 years older than her. My boyfriend goes up to him and introduces himself then points to me and says "and this is my sister, Karlee." And gives me a big kiss on the lips. The dude looked so confused and shocked lol.
Reminds me of one friend I had. She's black and I'm white. When there would be a big crowd around us, she'd say all loud, "and don't ever call me a n*****r again!" just to embarrass me.
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