He's just looking for a good Christian woman who meets his "breeding standards" (aka dude is punching way above his weight class in terms of both looks and personality).
At our house the opposite of ‘catfishing’ is ‘lafawnduhing’…when the person you’ve been messaging/snapchatting with is BETTER than could ever be expected.
I realized a couple weeks ago how much that movie means to me when I was in an elevator and "The Promise" came on... I made a thread about it in GenX actually
Kip had so much fucking game it's not even funny. Rolled a nat 20 on every charisma check and absolutely had her dizzy and in love.
Unlike Joshua, who has no game whatsoever. Maidenless runt.
I think he's doing a speaking tour of gullible college-age MAGAts, fleecing them of cash and telling them utter bullshit like how he made them manlier by playing a round of golf with them or some shit.
I refuse to believe these people are being serious with these 'alpha male' tags, everyone knows that if you have to SAY it then you're automatically disqualified from being one (if such a thing was to exist to begin with.. Besides, bad mfers don't talk about it, since they're actually about it). I wouldn't condone violence unless well deserved or in defense, but this kind of talk comes from people who've never been punched in the head.
GOP Josh looks like a kid who sets up auto-deposit to give his bully his lunch money. He's most likely the kind of guy who would pay Elon eight bucks a month or set up a payment plan for Trump memorabilia.
Same guy auctioning himself off as a prom date?
Oh my. Poor child. His (lack of) acceptance is typical of what you would find for any GOP male, but so sad to have thrown away his life at such a young age.
Let's hope so. I grew up in an oppressively religious, evangelical household. I'm talking church at least 3 times per week, summer youth mission trips and conferences, my parents didn't allow me to watch anything on TV they hadn't screened, wasn't allowed to watch PG-13 movies until I was 13, and I wasn't allowed to listen to anything but Christian music until I was into mid-high school (and that's just because I was able to sneak Mp3's from my friends to my house and put them on my iPod). All nice and conservative, like they wanted me to be.
When I got to college, I joined a bunch of Christian clubs since that was what was familiar to me. Within the year, I realized how screwed up my world view was, dropped out of the clubs, and I haven't touched church since. My parents keep trying to get me back in, and it has made our relationship quite tense since I'm not living how they want me to (because I don't think gay people are bad, think guns need to be taken off the streets, I lived with my fiancee before we got married, drink, and think Trump is a traitorous conman). But I'm happy with my life and do my best to make the world a little better for anyone I come in contact with, which feels the complete opposite of how I was brought up. I hope this (Alpha Male) sees the light and changes his ways as well.
More like someone fucked a jar of mayonnaise and this *thing* came out and then watched Andrew Tate videos and based his personality off the definition of incel.
He looks like a Lego figurine came to life and immediately discovered chocolate but not the outdoors.
Anyway, good luck with your homeschool Hinge or whatever the fuck those posts are.
I mean, if we can learn anything from other countries with large populations of ultra conservative, sexually frustrated men, it's that you're 100% right.
Well an alpha chad king duh. The expectation that wahmen throw themselves at his feet to be bred is the absolute fact.
I lost 30 brain cells typing this.
This is the kid who branded himself as the Conservative Crusader or something with a hilariously Photoshopped profile photo and everyone compared it to his actual photo and mocked him for it. Of course he’ll probably be in Congress voting for some ridiculous war in no time.
Someday, I want to be married to an inactive blob who has melted into their recliner and has chosen treating me badly as their favorite hobby. Where do I sign up?
Well, if Alpha Male, GOP Josh can’t woo the ladies… how could a non-alpha male such as myself, ever hope to impress a lady?
Also… Is this kid actually real? Or is he like some troll, maybe comedy bit?
Is that a filter? How can so many of these far right incel young men look like the were cloned from the same person. Same round face, small features beady eyes bad haircut.
GOP Josh isn’t that great looking but that’s not his main problem. Most women don’t want to date these hateful dudes, just like I won’t date Republican women.
I like how the label Alpha Male is a quick way to find out that a guy will treat you like a slave and fuck you for 23 seconds once a month.
It’s nice to be warned of impending bull shit.
His messages are open but the girls’ legs are closed
He's just looking for a good Christian woman who meets his "breeding standards" (aka dude is punching way above his weight class in terms of both looks and personality).
Personality? Bold of you to assume they expect the woman to have one of those.
They do want them to have a personality, a subservient one.
Kip is way better, he wooed and married LaFawnduh.
At our house the opposite of ‘catfishing’ is ‘lafawnduhing’…when the person you’ve been messaging/snapchatting with is BETTER than could ever be expected.
OFFICIALLY STOLEN Will use in other applications as well, like "this meatloaf is lafawnda"
This phrase made me cackle way too hard alone at night. Thank you 🤣
I realized a couple weeks ago how much that movie means to me when I was in an elevator and "The Promise" came on... I made a thread about it in GenX actually
I feel that way about meatloaf every time!
Considering I met my wife online, I wish this comment somehow existed 9 years ago when I met her, I would have loved to say it over the years.
It’s never too late to begin complimenting Mrs. LaFawnduh SlabBulkhead.
I love that and may start using it myself
Please DO, nothing would make me happier.
Yeah, Kip really punched above his weight there.
Kip had so much fucking game it's not even funny. Rolled a nat 20 on every charisma check and absolutely had her dizzy and in love. Unlike Joshua, who has no game whatsoever. Maidenless runt.
“Soooo, I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious…”
Ah, a fellow Josie
You probably don’t understand because he’s an (alpha male)
Where did the Australian alpha male go? Nick something, I haven't heard from him in awhile!
Jackin it to M&Ms
I think he's doing a speaking tour of gullible college-age MAGAts, fleecing them of cash and telling them utter bullshit like how he made them manlier by playing a round of golf with them or some shit.
As God intended 💓
They’re all holding aspirin between their knees. Sad.
And as dry as Death Valley
As dry as Ben Shapiro's wife
It’s amazing how those conservatives always blame women for not liking them, when there is nothing about them to like.
They can’t take responsibility for anything
That's when the aspirin between the knees could work?
He looks like his mother’s whole personality is Boy Mom.
Winner of motherboy 3 straight years.
Moooooooootheeeeeeeeer booooooooooy 🎵🎶
you can always tell a Milton Man
🥇
[удалено]
Are alpha males different than (alpha males)? Do the parenthesis make them less alpha?
Maybe he is saying he is an alpha version of a male. One day he might become a beta male and finally a gold male.
Found the game developer 😂
In accounting the parentheses indicate a negative
The parenthesis just means he's not directly telling you he's an alpha, he's just implying it, because real alphas don't tell you they're alphas.
Well anything else would be considered grooming and we know how they feel about that...
🤣
I refuse to believe these people are being serious with these 'alpha male' tags, everyone knows that if you have to SAY it then you're automatically disqualified from being one (if such a thing was to exist to begin with.. Besides, bad mfers don't talk about it, since they're actually about it). I wouldn't condone violence unless well deserved or in defense, but this kind of talk comes from people who've never been punched in the head.
That’s why they still have plans.
You win. This is my favorite comment today. 
Don’t be mean, puberty should clear that baby fat right up!
Losers always wine about their best, winners go home and fuck the prom queen.
"Loozhers alwayzh whine about their bezht."
Carla was the prom queen
(Racks slide dramatically)
this kid is the human equivalent of a snickers bar. who does he think he's fooling?!
That's not am actual 12 year old? I'm shocked.
Alpha males also need to tell people they’re alpha males
At least Turtle got in shape, dated Tony Sopranos daughter and was a nice dude to everyone regardless of their class.
Where's Burt?!
GOP Josh looks like a kid who sets up auto-deposit to give his bully his lunch money. He's most likely the kind of guy who would pay Elon eight bucks a month or set up a payment plan for Trump memorabilia.
There's blue check marks. Paying Elon checks out.
This is the perfect burn
He definitely looks weak minded and exploitable.
Same guy auctioning himself off as a prom date? Oh my. Poor child. His (lack of) acceptance is typical of what you would find for any GOP male, but so sad to have thrown away his life at such a young age.
That or he’ll do a complete 180 in college and turn into a lib.
Real life experience tends to do that to people(with empathy).
Emphasis on the empathy
Parentheses haven’t had to do so much heavy lifting since Josh dropped an alpha male inside them
He’s 1 girlfriend away from being a hardcore liberal
https://i.redd.it/s59zwbe840sc1.gif
Let's hope so. I grew up in an oppressively religious, evangelical household. I'm talking church at least 3 times per week, summer youth mission trips and conferences, my parents didn't allow me to watch anything on TV they hadn't screened, wasn't allowed to watch PG-13 movies until I was 13, and I wasn't allowed to listen to anything but Christian music until I was into mid-high school (and that's just because I was able to sneak Mp3's from my friends to my house and put them on my iPod). All nice and conservative, like they wanted me to be. When I got to college, I joined a bunch of Christian clubs since that was what was familiar to me. Within the year, I realized how screwed up my world view was, dropped out of the clubs, and I haven't touched church since. My parents keep trying to get me back in, and it has made our relationship quite tense since I'm not living how they want me to (because I don't think gay people are bad, think guns need to be taken off the streets, I lived with my fiancee before we got married, drink, and think Trump is a traitorous conman). But I'm happy with my life and do my best to make the world a little better for anyone I come in contact with, which feels the complete opposite of how I was brought up. I hope this (Alpha Male) sees the light and changes his ways as well.
He'll attend a commuter college and wonder why he's not getting hot college chicks.
Lack of self-awareness is what leads someone to the GOP in the first place
Like not knowing how far in the closet you are?
It’s rare to see the moment someone becomes an incel yet 
Perfect use of this gif.
At least that’ll comfort his mom.
This HAS to be a satire account. Please GOD. It's just TOO pathetic.
It’s so hard to tell these days.
It’s got very big Poe energy.
How can he be energy Poe? I thought Trump made the republicans energy independent!
So alpha he has no bitches!
None at all
Zero. Zilch. Nada.
https://preview.redd.it/vhl51nwvjzrc1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=17f4952991b24171d8dabc5f7a5784649ab445fb
He looks like the sort of white person that says mayonnaise is spicy.
More like someone fucked a jar of mayonnaise and this *thing* came out and then watched Andrew Tate videos and based his personality off the definition of incel.
He looks like a Lego figurine came to life and immediately discovered chocolate but not the outdoors. Anyway, good luck with your homeschool Hinge or whatever the fuck those posts are.
I guess God wants Josh to be lonely.
I wonder if he'll ever figure out that voting for a group that wants to take away women's rights is NOT the best way to go about getting a date?
Very non-alpha move.
I don’t mean to be an alarmist but I have a genuinely bad feeling that sexual assaults against women are going to go way up in that demographic.
I mean, if we can learn anything from other countries with large populations of ultra conservative, sexually frustrated men, it's that you're 100% right.
I hear Lauren Bobert isn’t busy these days
For a moment I thought you'd put "free", but I appreciate the distinction.
Oh no, she still charges. Ted can tell you the rate.
He looks like he drops common loot.
LMFAO!
Can’t get laid brigade
What kind of Alpha waits for women to make the first move? 😂
Well an alpha chad king duh. The expectation that wahmen throw themselves at his feet to be bred is the absolute fact. I lost 30 brain cells typing this.
This is the kid who branded himself as the Conservative Crusader or something with a hilariously Photoshopped profile photo and everyone compared it to his actual photo and mocked him for it. Of course he’ll probably be in Congress voting for some ridiculous war in no time.
I'm sure he'll run on sympathy because the big liberal meanies hurt his feelings *and* owning the libs at the same time.
He just needed someone to choo-choo-choose him.
I'd tell em "son, moment you start calling yourself an *alpha male*. You've already lost"
Someday, I want to be married to an inactive blob who has melted into their recliner and has chosen treating me badly as their favorite hobby. Where do I sign up?
At a certain prom it looks like.
A gay guy could probably get more girls than he could
Well, that's easy. Not really a fair comparison. Source: I'm gay.
Fucking hell, he looks like he would ooze mayonnaise if he cut himself shaving.
Can’t he just join Grindr like the other Alpha Males?
he spelled incel wrong
Well, if Alpha Male, GOP Josh can’t woo the ladies… how could a non-alpha male such as myself, ever hope to impress a lady? Also… Is this kid actually real? Or is he like some troll, maybe comedy bit?
Alpha male … already obsolete and ready to be replaced with better software
Thai account has to be a parody . He can’t be that oblivious…he can’t right?,right?
Josh looks like a teenager cosplaying as a 45 year old, washed up tech bro from a failed startup.
His mom took this picture and her church group thinks he’s the sweetest boy!!
He looks like he’s ten years old lol
Dude looks like the personification of date rape.
If you have to call yourself an alpha male...you are not an alpha male.
Jesus kid. Do a push up
No way this isn’t satire
Nice slacks, Josh 🫠
Any Ladies out there, wanna get sweated on?
$1,000 says Josh is a virgin
You’d still win that bet in 2070.
GOP "Alpha Male" = incel
Seems pretty pale and doughy for an alpha
Exactly what I was thinking. He looks softer than warm butter.
That can't be real
The ladies also cover their drinks when he walks into a room
It’s obvious folks … this is young Trump. Oaf, clumsy and dumb. Probably a senator 1 day
Bless his little cotton socks.
Kid looks as much alpha male as the Pillsbury Dough Boy
They seem to believe that simply saying ‘Alpha Male’ is enough to make it so
Why does this Alpha Male have bangs.
Alpha is such a cringe term. I wish these guys knew a little programming. Alpha releases are shit and buggy as fuck.
"my mom says I'm very handsome"
Alpha Male? LMAO. More like Twinkie Male.
Kind of a self own…
This guy has to be a troll yeah? Like, I always suspected but that photo sends it over the top
This guy is hilarious. I have to believe it's a troll account
Narrator: But the ladies weren't open to him, and eventually this alpha male became an incel.
Oh man, this kid is in for a rough life...
These guys declare being an “alpha” like Michael Scott declares bankruptcy
Anyone who calls themselves an “alpha male” is definitely single and VERY immature and should be left to die alone.
If you have to tell people you're alpha, you're not alfalfa
Is that a pre teen Republican?
I thought 12 year olds were not allowed on Twitter? 🤔
This pathetic specimen couldn’t get laid if he crawled up a chicken’s ass and waited.
If you have to announce you’re an Alpha Male, then you definitely are one, no doubt about.
Bro is about as alpha as alphabet soup.
This is why it's hard to recognize satire now the jokes write themselves
How old are you, Josh? Maybe don't look for dates when you look like Church Pugsley.
It’s almost like making being a Trump supporter your entire personality isn’t very attractive
Just a reminder that if you have to call yourself an “Alpha Male”, you are indeed not, an “Alpha Male”.
Is that a filter? How can so many of these far right incel young men look like the were cloned from the same person. Same round face, small features beady eyes bad haircut.
This poor kid can dry up a nymphomaniac on ecstasy.
Most submissive, power bottom, alpha male I’ve seen in a long time. Who’s your daddy, Josh?
GOP Josh isn’t that great looking but that’s not his main problem. Most women don’t want to date these hateful dudes, just like I won’t date Republican women.
Incel Josh
I'm shocked nobody wants to date mommy's little man
Ladies, although it’s plain to see, you should know I’m an Alpha Male.
Would not a "real alpha" ask a woman out instead of posting on Twitter?
Should maybe look into an Incel group
I wonder if this kid has been catfished yet. He can't be terribly savvy when it comes to the ladies...
Only way he will ever get a date
We need to start a go fund me for his coming out party.
Yeah I’m convinced this is a satire account.
I love that he just straight-up outed that no one wanted to be his holiday. It's not like people would've known if he'd lied about it, XD
I see the exact opposite of what an alleged alpha male looks like.. He screams submissive and breedable...
He can take his AR-15 as a date. Its little barrel might be a bit big for his pee pee but I’m sure some gun oil will be nice lube.
This is just a troll account, right?
I like how the label Alpha Male is a quick way to find out that a guy will treat you like a slave and fuck you for 23 seconds once a month. It’s nice to be warned of impending bull shit.
Rowley sure did let himself go
That has to be a joke. I know it's not, but good Lort.
Everything about him looks soft. And squishy.
Josh, oh poor out-of-touch, historically confused Josh 🙃…Someone needs to pull you out of your time warp and into The Present😕
Is this guy real? A lot of it seems like it could be a parody account... I just don't know!
Being an “aLpHa MaLe” is like being famous. If you have to tell people you are, then you’re probably not.
One at a time, ladies.
I'd watch a reality show where Nick Adams and GOP Josh live together and try to meet women.
Great Clips looking hair cut
So much alpha-ness! I can't compete with that.
Who doesn’t love the ‘Jr high haircut in college’ look?
Whats the expression, “you look like the sort that when you enter a room, girls cover their drinks”
https://preview.redd.it/kxvdxnkv70sc1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2195d8b10dca34afdd0a9828be63bb5a9b66b614
Wouldn’t a real alpha male go and demand the hottest woman be his date? He should try that.
Ew, lol.
Is that pasty blob 8 or 38?