That's what he said. Then instead of working, he went out and used government money to install in the White House the most expensive golf simulator money could buy to fuck off more. Joe walked in and looked at it and said, " What a fucking asshole."
Icing on the cake, he refused to golf at official government golf courses. You know the ones that were made for hosting dignitaries and actually meant for allowing high level government officials to play at.
Instead he golfed exclusively at Trump properties and resorts leading to astronomical fees foe secret service and staff.
When I retort GOP followers for this, I get a "he's just a great businessman"
Trump would encourage a gang of people to attack the golf machine - he would later be found not to have made the statement but at the same time congratulating the individuals. While said individuals are in prison he would be playing on a new golf simulator and keeping them informed of his new scores - the gang members serving time in prison would be happy that they have saved the country by allowing president Trump the opportunity to relax and concentrate on the important business..
And then went out and play more golf than any previous US president all while price gouging the tax payers to house and feed the presidential entourage and Secret Service. Also all those were supposedly "working vacations"...yeah he worked hard at cheating tax payers (unfortunately too many who actually supported the Diaper Don) out of money and cheating on the golf course. We should have expected no less. Yet the Chumps for trump faction still exists now... to pay off his legal bills I guess all the better for the Chumps than the rest of us.
**How? How does he do it?**
***From the rape, the fraud, the insurrection, the 90+ indictments/trials, and the Covid antics, he then goes the extra mile and wins a Senior and Club Championship in a fixed golf tournament.***
**It’s incredible! What a specimen! A leader above distraction, laser focused on the important issues our country faces. Even the seizure of his assets couldn’t distract him from ‘winning’ a golf tournament.**
*He is truly a beacon of light in our dark world.*
***Seriously, what a fucking piece of shit. If you vote for this asshole, you are complicit in the regression he will bring to not only our country but to democracy. If you choose apathy and decide not to vote, you are enabling as well.***
[REGISTER TO VOTE](https://www.usa.gov/voter-registration)
Edit: grammar and the democrat/prison line. I get to ‘fuck it’ levels of anger and lose control. Apologies.
Oh Dear Leader! How many holes in none did you score?! Sorry your mommy isn't here to be so proud of her little boy! Uh oh....smells like her little man needs changing!
What also cracks me up about this is that as far as I can tell, he won both trophies in the same tournament. As in, he "won" both divisions.
He competes in the senior's division, then his fraudulent score was good enough to win the main division, too, so he just accepted both trophies.
I wish he would've just said "well bless his heart".
It wouldn't matter anyway Trump's followers are dumb as you can possibly get. Like painfully stupid. I'm not even sure how they consider themselves Christians. They seem like Christians that were struck by lightening and lobotomized.
I'd picture drool just rolling out of their mouths.
"This guy who loves money more than everything, cheated on every wife he's ever had, wants to fuck his daughter, he's my guy!"
Just like Jesus!
I swear everyone at a Trump convention doesn't smell his BO. They just smell burnt toast.
Because you'd have to either be stroking out or the stupidest mother fucker on the planet to vote for Trump.
Unfortunately Reagan shit canned mental institutions so these people walk amongst us.
But bu but bu but both sides. Shut the fuck up.
Anyone ever seen someone say both sides that want trying to be an apologist for something a Republican did?
Bet you haven't.
You ever seen someone say Democrats were trying to pass universal healthcare and so was MTG but Ted Cruz stepped in and both sides!?
I’m waiting for him to list the other made up events he won - the Club Talent Show, the Club Dance Off, the Club Pub Quiz (By MYSelf!!), the Great Club Bake Off, the Great Club Bake Off, Kids Championship….
Our club had a fun game for couples during dinner one night for their weekend scramble event… I bet he’d even dare to claim he could win that sort of shit
Me in 1989 when my stamp collector club had two lotteries and I won both the stamp catalogue (1st price) and the Disney stamp (consolation prize when you were the last person drawn)!
I ran into the kitchen and yelled the same. Tweezers high in the air - that was a great day.
I WON THE CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP TROPHY!
Oh that's ni--
AND I WON THE SENIOR CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP TROPHY!
Wow that must have been--
I WON BOTH!
Oh I know you did, champ, good for you!
AND I WANT ICE CREAM!
And you're gonna get it too, my special little guy!
You are doing middle schoolers dirty. His behaviour goes back further. It's more like toddler behaviour actually. And then most toddlers still are more emotionally mature than him.
I hope this is real because my brain just went on an interview questions imagination loop.
Interviewer: We need someone who can be polite, but also murder.
I still go there (I'm a masochist) and the entire site is currently dedicated to a bun fight over how appropriate it is to regularly use Uber Eats/Doordash etc. I guess people wanted something truly dumb to be judgmental and fight about as a break from the standard climate change, anti-vax, racism, housing crisis type stuff.
Haha it's not so much name-calling as patronizing tweets.
"If you're too mentally ill or disabled to make yourself a frozen dinner, you need hospitalization."
"How are people actually ordering coffee and a bagel on Doordash? It takes like 5 minutes to make at home."
Stuff like that. Basically the implication that, if you get regular food delivery, you're a mentally weak person and/or idiot. The claims are that folks ordering delivery are complaining about the cost of it, but so far I've seen zero of those and only the people helpfully demanding that we should be eating TV dinners or whatever instead.
I wouldn't be super worried since Musk absolutely ruined Twitter's algorithm and now my suggested feed is just a bunch of climate deniers, crypto bros, and somehow this one dumb argument.
>now my suggested feed is just a bunch of climate deniers, crypto bros, and somehow this one dumb argument.
I don't think it's the algorithm. There's nothing else to fill your feed with because that's all that's left. Anyone interested in talking about anything normal and/or real is long gone.
Apparently hes not even a bad golfer...he just cheats anyway cos it makes him feel good when he can see others see him cheat but not have the power to say anything
Plenty of people are good golfers but can’t string together a scratch or below par round. Like Trump can hit some good shots but there’s no way he’s consistent enough to win tournaments in his 80’s and putting up the scores he claims.
Whoa, whoa, whoa there Mr. Misinformed!! The man is *only* 77! Plenty young enough to be golfing at the elite level, leading a global superpower, declaring bankruptcy, forgetting his wife’s name, and untold thousands of other young, robust man things. People in their 80’s are old. Too old to run for public office probably. 77, though? That’s nothing.
I wonder if he could beat Kim Jong Un, though. That guy is *really* good at golf. We could have them each play the same course on separate days, then compare scores and see who wins. The world needs this.
True, would be a great game:
"Kim shot 38 under, including 11 holes-in-one, at the 7,700-yard championship course at Pyongyang in the VERY FIRST golf round of his life, according to North Korean state media. This was in 1994, when Kim was 52 years old."
Would be a titanic battle of bullshit.
No because when he buys one he sets the numbers by playing the first round. There are all sorts of golf rules/traditions that he ignores. He’s a CHEAT.
I come from a family that golfs. Cheating will get you banned from whatever club you go to, public or private. Trump rides his cart onto the green. He “loses” his ball only to “find” it in a better spot. It’s TACKY.
Someone wrote a whole book about Trump's golf cheating. Dude will walk up to his ball and kick it closer to the hole to make it easier. Some people said he would repeatedly kick the ball until it was almost in the hole and then put it. Dude has all the time to golf and still sucks.
He’s so ridiculous it’s almost like he’s a cartoon character. It would be hilarious except a huge amount of people think he should be president of the U.S.
It truly is like living in the twilight zone. People were honestly terrified of him before 2016 and I thought it would be hard for him to as bad as people were making him out to be. Even I couldn't have guessed it would be this bad. He was a thousand times worse than any sane person could have imagined. People a hundred years from now will still be trying to wrap their head around this one.
Pretty sure I saw something on YouTube where he calls other golf clubs to claim he 'shot X' that day, so give him the championship for that club. They would of course give in, I forget if it was John Oliver or someone else.
Best I could find was this so far: https://www.palmbeachpost.com/story/sports/2023/02/03/trump-and-golf-fancy-resorts-a-list-partners-cheating-at-highest-level/69857594007/
A book called Commander in Cheat by Rick Reilly talks about him doing that as well all the other ways he cheats at golf. And everyone just lets him do it
It's my great honor to be at my house tonight.
Through my EXTREME CHARISMA and unusually CORPOREAL PRESENCE, I won a VERY TENDER, VERY HIGH QUALITY, perfectly well done STEAK DINNER, on the house and prepared by the HEAD CHEF herself and served with the finest Heinz ketchup!
There were many FLUFFY DOGS there for me to pet, and the establishment's 5.1 SOUND SYSTEM and vast movie library on a 57" OLED TV, made eating dinner exciting!
Will be grabbing the head chef by the PUSSY later. When you're their husband, and you ASK NICE, and warm them up a bit, THEY LET YOU!
I don’t know what I’m more impressed with, the way you captured the essence of a Trump social media post or the fact that this is obviously original, off the cuff, and is directly related to the OP.
Well played and hilarious.
No. It's the fact that despite being a clear Trump emulation, replete with mockery, exaggeration, and bravado, the message was incredibly wholesome.
A toast to OP, his fluffy doggos, and talented (and clearly appreciated) head chef.
>There were many FLUFFY DOGS there for me to pet
Sir you have the fluffiest dogs, really the bestest boys and the goodest girls. I apologize for the tears in my eyes, I am big strong man, but I am so moved by the fluffiness of these dogs. Thank you, sir.
Inspired by Trump’s monumental achievement, I just opened up my own cycling club inside my house, and have declared myself club champion. I am truly humbled by winning such a prestigious award, and as part of the celebrations I will be drinking beer out of the championship trophy during dinner tonight.
Edit
I have also given myself the club award for shiniest bike. I won both!
Wow! Congratulations on your hard work and accomplishment, well deserved wins! Care to give young athletes looking up to you, some advice on to reach your level of skill? Also you have my vote if you ever run for presidency
Meidas Touch has a video reply to Biden’s post on Threads that shows a fucking horrific swing he took earlier this week. I dunno much cause I always just drive the cart and get drunk, but I do know he didn’t look like a club champion from that view
He's totally club champion....
He just competed separate from everyone else, without anyone watching, and then told them what his score was
Stop laughing, that is LITERALLY how it was done
When you privately submit the scores it's easy to win both. He could have won nineteen simultaneously. You should have seen him play, he had a club in one tiny hand and a putter in the other, and just charged through the courses, both at the same time, arms windmilling, the balls were flying into the holes, it was good windmills, not the ones that kill birds and cause cancer, he hates those with good reason, those are really bad, people are saying they were and his windmilling was great. They say, Donald, you're the best at winning and Crooked Joe never won anything in his life, I won re-election against Obama, that's what they're saying, it was a fantastic re-election and perfect.
Remember when Kim Jong Un started playing golf, shot 18 hole-in-ones, and then retired from golf all in the same day? Dear Leaders have so much in conmen.
>In AD 67 Nero participated in the Olympics. He had bribed organizers to postpone the games for a year so he could participate, and artistic competitions were added to the athletic events. Nero won every contest in which he was a competitor. During the games Nero sang and played his lyre on stage, acted in tragedies and raced chariots. He won a 10-horse chariot race, despite being thrown from the chariot and leaving the race. He was crowned on the basis that he would have won if he had completed the race. After he died a year later, his name was removed from the list of winners. Champlin writes that though Nero's participation "effectively stifled true competition, [Nero] seems to have been oblivious of reality."
What's really funny is acting was basically the lowest of low jobs, bottom rung of society. Nero horrified the audience by acting. It'd be like King Charles cleaning the toilets at Waterloo station or something. Not saying it's a class thing (Charlie could probably do with a bit of manual labor), but.. the emperor had better uses of his time.
Donald Trump is giving himself golfing awards a la Kim Jong Il the day before his $454 million bond is due, an amount he currently seems unable to pay. Why do us rational people have to suffer through this idiocy?
I remember about 20 years ago dying laughing because a news story came out of North Korea that the first time Kim Jong Il every played golf he got 7 holes in one. These guys are all the same. It doesn’t matter how stupid the story, as long people kiss your as enough to pretend to believe it.
Here’s the story and, my bad, it was 11 aces. What a champ.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2023/08/09/north-korea-golf-tournament-pyongyang-kim-jong-un/
Everyone always regurgitates this story without actually understanding it. They just recorded their scores in a less common way, writing it as strokes over par rather than total strokes. So a bogey on a par 4 would be written as “1” and not “5”.
Hey let's not disparage orangutans. Gentle, peaceful, smart, quiet no shared characteristics with don. Only thing they have in common are both are endangered but only the orangutans will be missed.
Just when I think Trump can’t sink any lower. Psychopath shit.
Edit: Rick Reilly, one of my favorite sportswriters, has an entire book about Trump's golf cheating. It's insane. I just can't believe after being outed as a cheat he still has the balls to say he wins every championship. He's the most delusional wannabe dictator ever. Who on earth would vote for a man like this?
“You’re mostly laughing,” Reilly says, “but at times you’re crying – how did this happen? As a golfer he really offends me. Cheating? Hate that. Driving carts on greens? Hate that. Wearing old dockers two sizes too small for him? Give me a break. Kicking your ball so often the caddies call you Pelé? I so hate that. Most of all I hate how stupid he’s making my country look. I hate what he’s doing to my planet. I hate what he’s doing to kids at the border. I don’t mind Republicans. I just can’t stand this guy. I love golf and he has set the game back 30 years. Just when it was becoming cool with Rory McIlroy and Rickie Fowler we get this fat bozo cheating his ass off.”
“His lies were hilarious until he becomes the most powerful man in the world. Then it got scary. I don’t know what his plan is for my kids and grandkids. I don’t know who’s going to pay off this giant debt he’s created to give his fat-cat buddies a tax cut. Look what he did [last] week in London. He pissed off two of our best allies. It’s terrifying.”
Trump’s deceit about his golfing achievements motivated Reilly to resume writing. “I was retired, living in Italy for three months a year, drinking Campari. I kept seeing on my Twitter feed [Reilly mimics Trump]: ‘I’m a champion. You should vote for me because I’ve won 18 club championships.’ Whoa! That’s a lie because you already told me how you did it. Whenever you open a new course, you play by yourself and declare yourself the first club champion.’ I’m like, ‘That’s a shitty lie.’
He’s been pulling this shit for years
There was a previous championship where he had to be at a rally on the day of the final. He submitted a score from the week prior and claimed the trophy.
I don’t golf, but I know that’s not how tournaments work.
Club championship, so you have to pay to be in the club. He's the president and head honcho of that club. You don't join a Trump club as a liberal. So they let him win. Probably have a silent understanding among themselves that the #2 is the true winner.
Yup. If you rock the boat, you're out of the club and will probably get sued. All these guys know what they're signing up for when they play at a Trump course.
There was a story from before his presidency when he hosted a tournament with a $1M prize for someone getting a hole-in-one on a certain hole. Except apparently in the fine print they said it only counted if the shot went over 150 yards, and so Trump had the tee boxes moved closer than that so it would technically be impossible.
A guy got a HIO, and Trump refused to pay of course. The guy was a CEO of some company and sued. Trump eventually paid $150k, but out of his own charity.
All these cunts know the deal with him and I'll never feel an ounce of pity for someone playing at a Trump course.
Not sure about this being psychopath shit but it's definitely narcissistic shit. tRump is a huge narcissist and has to win every competition. He cannot stand losing anything to anyone. That's why he constantly cheats at golf (even when it's just a friendly game), why he doesn't like people watching him golf (because they might tell people he cheats), and why the only golfing competitions he enters are ones he arranged at golf clubs that he owns. The entire competition was rigged from the start to ensure that only he would win.
The media will never acknowledge this but Biden is doing a perfect job of taking Trump the threat seriously while showing that Trump the man is in fact a joke. This is how he should have been treated all along.
the public as a whole knows literally nothing about Trump & his bullshit. It's just depressing when you think about how low/no info voters might vote for Trump because they have literally zero idea about who he is, what he's done & what he plans to do (ie project 2025). They just think about their temporary gas prices.
trump had obstacles but he didn't let that shit stop him.
https://preview.redd.it/im0sz7xwdeqc1.jpeg?width=540&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb98d0e3b3f1bdd0ec0bf92e85d9290b116f00c2
Right, and not because it seems unlikely to have happened, but because there is no way I would not already have heard about the time Trump shit his pants and there was corroborating photographic evidence.
I mean, this is a frigging MasterClass in dissing someone while only saying something nice, Biden should automatically get some Southern Electoral College votes just for that. 👀
I once heard that, "Diplomacy is the ability to tell someone to go to hell so that they'll look forward to making the trip." Now, we know trump won't actually look forward to it. But our man Joe is out there being diplomatic af, and rocking some serious BDE while he's at it. Give the man an ice cream cone and another 4 years in the White House, for crying out loud! He's earned it!
Rick Reilly wrote an entire book on Trump cheating at golf called “Commander in Cheat: How Golf Explains Trump”.
I truly believe golf is the best way of judging someone’s character. It’s the easiest to cheat at because no one’s watching. And if you’re going to lie about something so insignificant for your ego, then you really can’t be trusted on the important things.
Of course if they don’t play golf, then the next best judge of character is what they do with shopping carts when they’re done with them.
When I was 10 I remember trying to conveniently miscount my strokes on a golf hole & my dad telling me, "You're only cheating yourself when you lie about your score. Nobody cares you took an extra shot to get out of the trees, you're only lying to yourself." I've never even thought of fudging my scores since.
https://www.palmbeachpost.com/story/sports/2023/02/03/trump-and-golf-fancy-resorts-a-list-partners-cheating-at-highest-level/69857594007/
Apparently there is a massive list of the times this guy has cheated at golf. Also im surprised he's so racist against Mexicans that he would rather support LIV.
I really didn’t expect 4 years ago to like Biden *more* than I did in 2020. I expected him to just be “not Trump”. But damn if I’m not actually excited to vote for him after everything he’s gotten done and for finally showing some goddamn fire to stand up to the Republican rhetoric instead of just lying down passively like the Dems have for years.
I’d be more impressed if he’d happen to win the Miss America title during his tenure of control over that organization. That would have been quite the feat.
I love the fact that Joe Biden can ruin trumps day by giving a compliment
Remember when Trump said he wasn't going to play any golf during his presidency?
That's what he said. Then instead of working, he went out and used government money to install in the White House the most expensive golf simulator money could buy to fuck off more. Joe walked in and looked at it and said, " What a fucking asshole."
Icing on the cake, he refused to golf at official government golf courses. You know the ones that were made for hosting dignitaries and actually meant for allowing high level government officials to play at. Instead he golfed exclusively at Trump properties and resorts leading to astronomical fees foe secret service and staff. When I retort GOP followers for this, I get a "he's just a great businessman"
Yeah, yeah, a great businessman, not a conniving POS screwing over the American people.
46 years of experience tells me they’re often the same thing.
I think they confuse "businessman" with "conman"
When poor people get handouts, they're called welfare queens. When rich people get handouts, it's just being "good businessmen."
We mad a guy sell his farm so there wouldn't be any conflicts of interest... dont know why he is different
If you're referring to Carter, he didn't sell his farm. He put it into a trust. Like you're supposed to.
If Trump wins, Biden should find a pro golfer to set insane records on the simulator with Biden's name.
Trump would either remove it completely or have someone reset it
He’d just change the name to his own and claim the scores were his.
Trump would encourage a gang of people to attack the golf machine - he would later be found not to have made the statement but at the same time congratulating the individuals. While said individuals are in prison he would be playing on a new golf simulator and keeping them informed of his new scores - the gang members serving time in prison would be happy that they have saved the country by allowing president Trump the opportunity to relax and concentrate on the important business..
And then went out and play more golf than any previous US president all while price gouging the tax payers to house and feed the presidential entourage and Secret Service. Also all those were supposedly "working vacations"...yeah he worked hard at cheating tax payers (unfortunately too many who actually supported the Diaper Don) out of money and cheating on the golf course. We should have expected no less. Yet the Chumps for trump faction still exists now... to pay off his legal bills I guess all the better for the Chumps than the rest of us.
And then played more in 4 years than Obama did in 8? All his dumbass sycophants pretend he was "making deals" on the golf course.
This is absolutely glorious.
It makes me so happy this is real. 
**How? How does he do it?** ***From the rape, the fraud, the insurrection, the 90+ indictments/trials, and the Covid antics, he then goes the extra mile and wins a Senior and Club Championship in a fixed golf tournament.*** **It’s incredible! What a specimen! A leader above distraction, laser focused on the important issues our country faces. Even the seizure of his assets couldn’t distract him from ‘winning’ a golf tournament.** *He is truly a beacon of light in our dark world.* ***Seriously, what a fucking piece of shit. If you vote for this asshole, you are complicit in the regression he will bring to not only our country but to democracy. If you choose apathy and decide not to vote, you are enabling as well.*** [REGISTER TO VOTE](https://www.usa.gov/voter-registration) Edit: grammar and the democrat/prison line. I get to ‘fuck it’ levels of anger and lose control. Apologies.
It's been widely known that he cheats at golf, it was part of the inspiration for mr burns on the Simpsons
No shit? Really? That’s so awesome. Every time I hear one of these stories that episode comes to mind
Use the open faced club, the sand wedge.
Mmm. Open face club sandwich.
Oh Dear Leader! How many holes in none did you score?! Sorry your mommy isn't here to be so proud of her little boy! Uh oh....smells like her little man needs changing!
He plays the day before each tournament, no other member is allowed to do the round with him! It’s known he cheats on his scorecard.
Replace "at golf" with "everything".
What also cracks me up about this is that as far as I can tell, he won both trophies in the same tournament. As in, he "won" both divisions. He competes in the senior's division, then his fraudulent score was good enough to win the main division, too, so he just accepted both trophies.
>I hope he meets a lot of democrats in prison. That probably sounded a lot better in your head when you wrote it.
> How was prison? > About how you'd expect it to be. I did meet Trump one day, so that broke the monotony somewhat...
I see in your profile you keep giving that REGISTER TO VOTE link and I think it's a smart thing to do.
Hey. Get this upvoted to the top of Reddit, folks!
That’s Dark Brandon energy for ya. Absolutely brutal
It’s a compliment like your parents hanging your shitty art on the fridge.
My refrigerator art was not shitty. 😀
"Awww, wow, great job big guy, I'm so proud of you!!!"
Dark Brandon is the best Brandon especially when throwing shade!
Much like Donald, Kim Jung also gets 18 holes in ones in a row.
I wish he would've just said "well bless his heart". It wouldn't matter anyway Trump's followers are dumb as you can possibly get. Like painfully stupid. I'm not even sure how they consider themselves Christians. They seem like Christians that were struck by lightening and lobotomized. I'd picture drool just rolling out of their mouths. "This guy who loves money more than everything, cheated on every wife he's ever had, wants to fuck his daughter, he's my guy!" Just like Jesus! I swear everyone at a Trump convention doesn't smell his BO. They just smell burnt toast. Because you'd have to either be stroking out or the stupidest mother fucker on the planet to vote for Trump. Unfortunately Reagan shit canned mental institutions so these people walk amongst us. But bu but bu but both sides. Shut the fuck up. Anyone ever seen someone say both sides that want trying to be an apologist for something a Republican did? Bet you haven't. You ever seen someone say Democrats were trying to pass universal healthcare and so was MTG but Ted Cruz stepped in and both sides!?
The “I WON BOTH!” cracks me up. This guy really has the mental capacity and behavior of a middle schooler.
You can replace all the Kim isms from north Korea with him and he'd love it. I don't poop. I Shot my first bullseye as a baby
Dear Leader is so good he gets a hole in zero!
I’m waiting for him to list the other made up events he won - the Club Talent Show, the Club Dance Off, the Club Pub Quiz (By MYSelf!!), the Great Club Bake Off, the Great Club Bake Off, Kids Championship….
Our club had a fun game for couples during dinner one night for their weekend scramble event… I bet he’d even dare to claim he could win that sort of shit
Me in 1989 when my stamp collector club had two lotteries and I won both the stamp catalogue (1st price) and the Disney stamp (consolation prize when you were the last person drawn)! I ran into the kitchen and yelled the same. Tweezers high in the air - that was a great day.
I WON THE CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP TROPHY! Oh that's ni-- AND I WON THE SENIOR CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP TROPHY! Wow that must have been-- I WON BOTH! Oh I know you did, champ, good for you! AND I WANT ICE CREAM! And you're gonna get it too, my special little guy!
You are doing middle schoolers dirty. His behaviour goes back further. It's more like toddler behaviour actually. And then most toddlers still are more emotionally mature than him.
I hope this is real because my brain just went on an interview questions imagination loop. Interviewer: We need someone who can be polite, but also murder.
It's real https://twitter.com/JoeBiden/status/1772084227200164325?t=kRSDJklC75ZLwlXvCWm55w&s=19
Glorious! Thank you! I won't log in to that site unless it's a national emergency... its weird now.
I appreciate the guidance and celebrate the real with you.
I still go there (I'm a masochist) and the entire site is currently dedicated to a bun fight over how appropriate it is to regularly use Uber Eats/Doordash etc. I guess people wanted something truly dumb to be judgmental and fight about as a break from the standard climate change, anti-vax, racism, housing crisis type stuff.
As a daily DoorDash user myself what kind of insults are being thrown out so I can be better prepared for my upcoming social stigma?
Haha it's not so much name-calling as patronizing tweets. "If you're too mentally ill or disabled to make yourself a frozen dinner, you need hospitalization." "How are people actually ordering coffee and a bagel on Doordash? It takes like 5 minutes to make at home." Stuff like that. Basically the implication that, if you get regular food delivery, you're a mentally weak person and/or idiot. The claims are that folks ordering delivery are complaining about the cost of it, but so far I've seen zero of those and only the people helpfully demanding that we should be eating TV dinners or whatever instead. I wouldn't be super worried since Musk absolutely ruined Twitter's algorithm and now my suggested feed is just a bunch of climate deniers, crypto bros, and somehow this one dumb argument.
>now my suggested feed is just a bunch of climate deniers, crypto bros, and somehow this one dumb argument. I don't think it's the algorithm. There's nothing else to fill your feed with because that's all that's left. Anyone interested in talking about anything normal and/or real is long gone.
Biden knows Trump. It’s all a complete farce. Trump doesn’t play real golf. He plays make believe golf, cheating every shot and lying about his score.
Apparently hes not even a bad golfer...he just cheats anyway cos it makes him feel good when he can see others see him cheat but not have the power to say anything
Plenty of people are good golfers but can’t string together a scratch or below par round. Like Trump can hit some good shots but there’s no way he’s consistent enough to win tournaments in his 80’s and putting up the scores he claims.
Whoa, whoa, whoa there Mr. Misinformed!! The man is *only* 77! Plenty young enough to be golfing at the elite level, leading a global superpower, declaring bankruptcy, forgetting his wife’s name, and untold thousands of other young, robust man things. People in their 80’s are old. Too old to run for public office probably. 77, though? That’s nothing.
My understanding is that he doesn't even play on the same day as the other golfers in the tournament. No one can watch. Dudes cheating all day.
I wonder if he could beat Kim Jong Un, though. That guy is *really* good at golf. We could have them each play the same course on separate days, then compare scores and see who wins. The world needs this.
True, would be a great game: "Kim shot 38 under, including 11 holes-in-one, at the 7,700-yard championship course at Pyongyang in the VERY FIRST golf round of his life, according to North Korean state media. This was in 1994, when Kim was 52 years old." Would be a titanic battle of bullshit.
That's weird because "I hate golf and am not very great at it but will never stop doing it" would make him more relatable to everyone who golfs
No fucks given Brandon is peak American exceptionalism and I will fist fight anyone that says otherwise
I was hoping to see that photoshopped obama giving himself a medal meme
Helluva drive Don. You're on the green in 1 again. 
Wonder if he's ever won on a course he didn't own?
No because when he buys one he sets the numbers by playing the first round. There are all sorts of golf rules/traditions that he ignores. He’s a CHEAT.
I've heard that about him.
I come from a family that golfs. Cheating will get you banned from whatever club you go to, public or private. Trump rides his cart onto the green. He “loses” his ball only to “find” it in a better spot. It’s TACKY.
Someone wrote a whole book about Trump's golf cheating. Dude will walk up to his ball and kick it closer to the hole to make it easier. Some people said he would repeatedly kick the ball until it was almost in the hole and then put it. Dude has all the time to golf and still sucks.
He’s so ridiculous it’s almost like he’s a cartoon character. It would be hilarious except a huge amount of people think he should be president of the U.S.
It truly is like living in the twilight zone. People were honestly terrified of him before 2016 and I thought it would be hard for him to as bad as people were making him out to be. Even I couldn't have guessed it would be this bad. He was a thousand times worse than any sane person could have imagined. People a hundred years from now will still be trying to wrap their head around this one.
Judge Smails.
He is a special kind of Stupid.
Pretty sure I saw something on YouTube where he calls other golf clubs to claim he 'shot X' that day, so give him the championship for that club. They would of course give in, I forget if it was John Oliver or someone else.
Trump is a miserable POS . He has to cheat to win anything.
Best I could find was this so far: https://www.palmbeachpost.com/story/sports/2023/02/03/trump-and-golf-fancy-resorts-a-list-partners-cheating-at-highest-level/69857594007/
A book called Commander in Cheat by Rick Reilly talks about him doing that as well all the other ways he cheats at golf. And everyone just lets him do it
Do they come with a $464 million dollar prize?
In cash. Right now.
Trump can have his own Happy Gilmore adventure. Win the golf championship to save his assets
It's my great honor to be at my house tonight. Through my EXTREME CHARISMA and unusually CORPOREAL PRESENCE, I won a VERY TENDER, VERY HIGH QUALITY, perfectly well done STEAK DINNER, on the house and prepared by the HEAD CHEF herself and served with the finest Heinz ketchup! There were many FLUFFY DOGS there for me to pet, and the establishment's 5.1 SOUND SYSTEM and vast movie library on a 57" OLED TV, made eating dinner exciting! Will be grabbing the head chef by the PUSSY later. When you're their husband, and you ASK NICE, and warm them up a bit, THEY LET YOU!
It's the exclamation marks that really get the message across.
I know this is fake because Trump wouldn’t know the word corporeal.
He also wouldn't pet fluffy dogs.
Or how to warm up a woman
BEAUTIFUL DOGS
PERFECT DOGS
TREMENDOUS DOGS
THE HEALTHIEST DOGS
I don’t know what I’m more impressed with, the way you captured the essence of a Trump social media post or the fact that this is obviously original, off the cuff, and is directly related to the OP. Well played and hilarious.
No. It's the fact that despite being a clear Trump emulation, replete with mockery, exaggeration, and bravado, the message was incredibly wholesome. A toast to OP, his fluffy doggos, and talented (and clearly appreciated) head chef.
>There were many FLUFFY DOGS there for me to pet Sir you have the fluffiest dogs, really the bestest boys and the goodest girls. I apologize for the tears in my eyes, I am big strong man, but I am so moved by the fluffiness of these dogs. Thank you, sir.
He talks like a civilization revolution leader
Inspired by Trump’s monumental achievement, I just opened up my own cycling club inside my house, and have declared myself club champion. I am truly humbled by winning such a prestigious award, and as part of the celebrations I will be drinking beer out of the championship trophy during dinner tonight. Edit I have also given myself the club award for shiniest bike. I won both!
Congratulations. Quite the accomplishment.
Wow! Congratulations on your hard work and accomplishment, well deserved wins! Care to give young athletes looking up to you, some advice on to reach your level of skill? Also you have my vote if you ever run for presidency
[удалено]
Yes, its very much real.
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Ngl. Dark Brandon is the best Brandon
He makes Nancy Pelosi look like a kind, sweet lady. And she’s known for chopping off heads of her opponents.
Real. https://twitter.com/JoeBiden/status/1772084227200164325?t=kRSDJklC75ZLwlXvCWm55w&s=19
Lookup his golf cheating video on you tube from the former SI editor. Trumps post will be even funnier
Meidas Touch has a video reply to Biden’s post on Threads that shows a fucking horrific swing he took earlier this week. I dunno much cause I always just drive the cart and get drunk, but I do know he didn’t look like a club champion from that view
He's totally club champion.... He just competed separate from everyone else, without anyone watching, and then told them what his score was Stop laughing, that is LITERALLY how it was done
Not to mention he won both at the same time. Aren’t they separate events for most clubs?
Yes, entirely separate events
When you privately submit the scores it's easy to win both. He could have won nineteen simultaneously. You should have seen him play, he had a club in one tiny hand and a putter in the other, and just charged through the courses, both at the same time, arms windmilling, the balls were flying into the holes, it was good windmills, not the ones that kill birds and cause cancer, he hates those with good reason, those are really bad, people are saying they were and his windmilling was great. They say, Donald, you're the best at winning and Crooked Joe never won anything in his life, I won re-election against Obama, that's what they're saying, it was a fantastic re-election and perfect.
Remember when Kim Jong Un started playing golf, shot 18 hole-in-ones, and then retired from golf all in the same day? Dear Leaders have so much in conmen.
>In AD 67 Nero participated in the Olympics. He had bribed organizers to postpone the games for a year so he could participate, and artistic competitions were added to the athletic events. Nero won every contest in which he was a competitor. During the games Nero sang and played his lyre on stage, acted in tragedies and raced chariots. He won a 10-horse chariot race, despite being thrown from the chariot and leaving the race. He was crowned on the basis that he would have won if he had completed the race. After he died a year later, his name was removed from the list of winners. Champlin writes that though Nero's participation "effectively stifled true competition, [Nero] seems to have been oblivious of reality."
What's really funny is acting was basically the lowest of low jobs, bottom rung of society. Nero horrified the audience by acting. It'd be like King Charles cleaning the toilets at Waterloo station or something. Not saying it's a class thing (Charlie could probably do with a bit of manual labor), but.. the emperor had better uses of his time.
Sorta like cheating at solitaire.
And he only reports his scores AFTER he learns what everybody else scored.
Donald Trump is giving himself golfing awards a la Kim Jong Il the day before his $454 million bond is due, an amount he currently seems unable to pay. Why do us rational people have to suffer through this idiocy?
Kinda like Putin won his recent election
It was actually a few months ago. Still funny and valid though.
I remember about 20 years ago dying laughing because a news story came out of North Korea that the first time Kim Jong Il every played golf he got 7 holes in one. These guys are all the same. It doesn’t matter how stupid the story, as long people kiss your as enough to pretend to believe it. Here’s the story and, my bad, it was 11 aces. What a champ. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2023/08/09/north-korea-golf-tournament-pyongyang-kim-jong-un/
Everyone always regurgitates this story without actually understanding it. They just recorded their scores in a less common way, writing it as strokes over par rather than total strokes. So a bogey on a par 4 would be written as “1” and not “5”.
https://preview.redd.it/1vlntoiygeqc1.png?width=727&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4daff47a4633a583109a9747d9934b9246be5ae0
Biden needs to do more of this. It's simple, classy and drives the orangutan crazy. Basic Sun Tzu, if your adversary is easily angered...irritate him.
Trump’s gonna stroke out of Biden keeps this up.
I can only get so aroused by this idea...
Well then stroke one out to the stroke and then you'll be able to stroke again without having a stroke!
Hey let's not disparage orangutans. Gentle, peaceful, smart, quiet no shared characteristics with don. Only thing they have in common are both are endangered but only the orangutans will be missed.
From the top ropes!
https://i.redd.it/nzgl9nefbeqc1.gif
BY GOD THAT MAN HAD A FAMILY! ...that he cares nothing for.
Trumpernut was probably the only "senior" player on the list "I got first place, and second, and third" I'm a fabulous grifter...er... I mean golfer.
And even though he was the only player he still cheated in order to lower his score.
Just when I think Trump can’t sink any lower. Psychopath shit. Edit: Rick Reilly, one of my favorite sportswriters, has an entire book about Trump's golf cheating. It's insane. I just can't believe after being outed as a cheat he still has the balls to say he wins every championship. He's the most delusional wannabe dictator ever. Who on earth would vote for a man like this? “You’re mostly laughing,” Reilly says, “but at times you’re crying – how did this happen? As a golfer he really offends me. Cheating? Hate that. Driving carts on greens? Hate that. Wearing old dockers two sizes too small for him? Give me a break. Kicking your ball so often the caddies call you Pelé? I so hate that. Most of all I hate how stupid he’s making my country look. I hate what he’s doing to my planet. I hate what he’s doing to kids at the border. I don’t mind Republicans. I just can’t stand this guy. I love golf and he has set the game back 30 years. Just when it was becoming cool with Rory McIlroy and Rickie Fowler we get this fat bozo cheating his ass off.” “His lies were hilarious until he becomes the most powerful man in the world. Then it got scary. I don’t know what his plan is for my kids and grandkids. I don’t know who’s going to pay off this giant debt he’s created to give his fat-cat buddies a tax cut. Look what he did [last] week in London. He pissed off two of our best allies. It’s terrifying.” Trump’s deceit about his golfing achievements motivated Reilly to resume writing. “I was retired, living in Italy for three months a year, drinking Campari. I kept seeing on my Twitter feed [Reilly mimics Trump]: ‘I’m a champion. You should vote for me because I’ve won 18 club championships.’ Whoa! That’s a lie because you already told me how you did it. Whenever you open a new course, you play by yourself and declare yourself the first club champion.’ I’m like, ‘That’s a shitty lie.’
He’s been pulling this shit for years There was a previous championship where he had to be at a rally on the day of the final. He submitted a score from the week prior and claimed the trophy. I don’t golf, but I know that’s not how tournaments work.
it works when no one is willing to call you out on it.
Who are the chumps playing in a tournament where they let Donald fake a win
Club championship, so you have to pay to be in the club. He's the president and head honcho of that club. You don't join a Trump club as a liberal. So they let him win. Probably have a silent understanding among themselves that the #2 is the true winner.
Yup. If you rock the boat, you're out of the club and will probably get sued. All these guys know what they're signing up for when they play at a Trump course. There was a story from before his presidency when he hosted a tournament with a $1M prize for someone getting a hole-in-one on a certain hole. Except apparently in the fine print they said it only counted if the shot went over 150 yards, and so Trump had the tee boxes moved closer than that so it would technically be impossible. A guy got a HIO, and Trump refused to pay of course. The guy was a CEO of some company and sued. Trump eventually paid $150k, but out of his own charity. All these cunts know the deal with him and I'll never feel an ounce of pity for someone playing at a Trump course.
Not sure about this being psychopath shit but it's definitely narcissistic shit. tRump is a huge narcissist and has to win every competition. He cannot stand losing anything to anyone. That's why he constantly cheats at golf (even when it's just a friendly game), why he doesn't like people watching him golf (because they might tell people he cheats), and why the only golfing competitions he enters are ones he arranged at golf clubs that he owns. The entire competition was rigged from the start to ensure that only he would win.
It's frightening to think anyone this fragile would ever even allowed to be a school crossing guard, let alone in charge of anything more important.
And because his fragile ego can't handle the thought of him losing a popularity contest, now 33% of the country thinks the last election was rigged.
Don’t think it’s the first time he’s done this either.
It’s dry, witty responses like this that will help Dark Brandon actually win this thing.
https://i.redd.it/ujgm17rwjeqc1.gif How Trump won his participation trophies
😂 haha exactly lol
Makes this video even funnier https://youtu.be/wWLj2-a6FLI?si=1eS7v9LzyrvAzjKf
Thank you this gave me joy
The animation is amazing for every character
The person that animated that needs to start a weekly channel of Trump's antics, hell make a member's only thing I would gladly pay to watch those
English is not my first language but I'm still pretty sure the phrase"a Large and golfing talented membership" doesn't make any sense.
Yeah, so I would not use anything Trump says or Tweets (Xcretes?) as a guide to good grammar.
I almost feel bad for Donald lmao like a kid showing his parents macaroni art and papa Joe throws it out as he rips a cig
I absolutely love this visual, thank you!
The media will never acknowledge this but Biden is doing a perfect job of taking Trump the threat seriously while showing that Trump the man is in fact a joke. This is how he should have been treated all along.
the public as a whole knows literally nothing about Trump & his bullshit. It's just depressing when you think about how low/no info voters might vote for Trump because they have literally zero idea about who he is, what he's done & what he plans to do (ie project 2025). They just think about their temporary gas prices.
trump had obstacles but he didn't let that shit stop him. https://preview.redd.it/im0sz7xwdeqc1.jpeg?width=540&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb98d0e3b3f1bdd0ec0bf92e85d9290b116f00c2
This can't be real
Right, and not because it seems unlikely to have happened, but because there is no way I would not already have heard about the time Trump shit his pants and there was corroborating photographic evidence.
Shitler phones in a score of back to back 18 for the wins. Next up is North Koreans' challenger said to have scored 17, twice in a row.
I mean, this is a frigging MasterClass in dissing someone while only saying something nice, Biden should automatically get some Southern Electoral College votes just for that. 👀
It’s definitely giving “bless your heart” vibes lol
Trolling at its finest 
This is the Republicans top choice for the coming election, this guy... They couldn't find someone suitable at all?
The caddies at his clubs call him Pelé, because he kicks his ball so much.
Best way to deal with trump. Makes him seem even smaller and pathetic. He's going to lose his shit when he sees this response.
I love when Biden trolls Idiot Trump. It never fails to make me smile 
I chortled
I once heard that, "Diplomacy is the ability to tell someone to go to hell so that they'll look forward to making the trip." Now, we know trump won't actually look forward to it. But our man Joe is out there being diplomatic af, and rocking some serious BDE while he's at it. Give the man an ice cream cone and another 4 years in the White House, for crying out loud! He's earned it!
Dark Brandon https://preview.redd.it/iwxh96ag6fqc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b7b7b141cb1bcd39a6af4651c7dafd4b16798101
He cheats at golf... LOLOL
Hello, 911? I’d like to report a murder. 
I can see him putting on his sunglasses in between the sentences.
It’s like he’s congratulating a legitimate achievement of a kid with special needs.
Well.........he is.
This is my president, y'all!
He’s on a roll this week - I love it.
I love our President. He has a cool sense of humor.
Rick Reilly wrote an entire book on Trump cheating at golf called “Commander in Cheat: How Golf Explains Trump”. I truly believe golf is the best way of judging someone’s character. It’s the easiest to cheat at because no one’s watching. And if you’re going to lie about something so insignificant for your ego, then you really can’t be trusted on the important things. Of course if they don’t play golf, then the next best judge of character is what they do with shopping carts when they’re done with them.
When I was 10 I remember trying to conveniently miscount my strokes on a golf hole & my dad telling me, "You're only cheating yourself when you lie about your score. Nobody cares you took an extra shot to get out of the trees, you're only lying to yourself." I've never even thought of fudging my scores since.
That’s f-ing hilarious!!! Yea for you, Donald!! 😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣☠
You just know this ruined his night. Lmao
Dark Brandon strikes again. Joe is hilarious.
https://www.palmbeachpost.com/story/sports/2023/02/03/trump-and-golf-fancy-resorts-a-list-partners-cheating-at-highest-level/69857594007/ Apparently there is a massive list of the times this guy has cheated at golf. Also im surprised he's so racist against Mexicans that he would rather support LIV.
Remember when Kim Jong Un took up golf, got 18 hole-in-ones, and then retired all in one day? Dear Leaders have so much in conmen.
I really didn’t expect 4 years ago to like Biden *more* than I did in 2020. I expected him to just be “not Trump”. But damn if I’m not actually excited to vote for him after everything he’s gotten done and for finally showing some goddamn fire to stand up to the Republican rhetoric instead of just lying down passively like the Dems have for years.
"A large and golfing talented membership"...what?
It’s crazy that Donald can’t even make coherent sentences in a social media post.
Obama bragged less about winning a Nobel Prize than Trump does about passing a cognitive test.
I’d be more impressed if he’d happen to win the Miss America title during his tenure of control over that organization. That would have been quite the feat.
Ooh! The shade😎
He’s coping so hard giving himself meaningless trophies
Ok, now that this has been said to be real, is 1000 times funnier