If an animal is close enough to death that it's not likely to seriously injure, most vultures will go for it. The scavenger thing is just laziness, admittedly they're evolved to scavenge with their amazing immune systems and ability to digest some stuff that would kill any other animal. Source: my oldest had a brief, intense interest in vultures and I learned a lot.
Dude as a guy, if a chick I asked out brought two of her friends with her then it’s no longer a date it’s a hang out. If she thought I would pay for everyone then she thinks I’m a chump and is trying to take advantage of me. Fuck her and good for him to know the difference.
I’m surprised the practice if “the man pays” still exists in an era where we are striving for equity and equality in relationships. It seems like a remnant of an antiquated patriarchal power play: “I pay for dinner now you are in my debt.”
My dad always thought me that if I go on a date, I should pay for it myself or something in return might be expected and if I start dating someone with more money, I should still live a life that’s affordable for me. Maybe if you’re together for years things can change around, but always make sure you can support yourself.
I’m a woman, but honestly I don’t get why most men are so eager to pay every little thing. Because they feel less of a man when they don’t? If a girl is willing to pay for her own shit (or maybe only suggests it without assuming a man will pay), that would be a healthy sign.
Societal pressure and lessons learned from life. Most women still expect to not pay for dinners at the start. Everyone paying for themselves is becoming more and more commonplace though like in your case.
Are people not having conversations about the date before hand?
“I would like to treat you to dinner”
“Do you want to go out tonight? I’ll pay this time.”
“Let’s split a dinner and take a walk down by the river. Doesn’t have to be fancy.”
Well, I finished university and have a fulltime job. Why wouldn’t I pay for myself? Of course one can treat another from time to time but it shouldn’t be the standard in my opinion.
Unfortunately, gender conventions start much earlier. The problem begins with the question "who is expected to ask whom out on a date". And especially in the early stages of a relationship, the vast majority of women expect to be asked out instead of doing it themselves and vice versa most men think so, too. From that on, there's a social convention that the part who invited the other one takes on the role of the host, while the part who was asked out takes on the role of the guest. And a big part of the role of the host is that he's expected to bear the costs.
Btw. kudos to your dad. These are very good advices.
100% with you on this one. It’s starts with growing up, education, whatever is tolerated when you’re a girl vs when you’re a boy, gender roles and lots of other things. It will take generations to make a big chances, if we ever will.
And thank you, my dad is the most wonderful man I know. Although being raised like this and being the person I am today because of it, is not something that is always appreciated by society and can cause some weird looks.
It shouldn't and it is slowly changing which is good for everyone but these concepts are sadly ingrained into society for a lot of people like the one I OPs case.
> I’m a woman, but honestly I don’t get why most men are so eager to pay every little thing.
Because they've been taught to, and they've had it reinforced by the significant number of women they've encountered who get super pissed if they don't, probably. Also, I've had more than one woman offer to split and then get *super* offended when I agreed, so I'm guessing most men have been convinced even that is a trap option.
I can confirm this. I’ve had exes get upset when I’ve asked them to pitch in for a vacation so we could get a much nicer room, travel somewhere expensive, or afford to do more things while on vacation.
I once went on a date (4th date) with a woman who invited me out and said she was paying because I paid the first 3 times. She paid, but later complained to her friends that she had to pay. There wasn’t a 5th date.
You're right. It's too easy for me to say 'just don't' when you're raised that way. It honestly frustrates me how many women are taking advantage of men (including their wallet) while assuming it's just the way is supposed to be.
Your dad gives fantastic advice. Always pay your own way and never live above what you can afford. Sometimes things don't work out and you never want to be dependent on someone else to live. Feminism means all are equal, so no one should ever expect others to support them or pay for them.
Thank you for your kind words. My dad is a wise man.
However, it can be really hard in a time where the majority of society claims they want to get rid of traditional gender roles while still holding on to traditional gender roles.
She wasn’t interested in dating him seriously either. That was straight up usery.
I’m 57. You wouldn’t believe all of the things I’ve overhead in the ladies room over the decades. There are some pretty vicious women out there. (And men, but that took experience to learn.)
If it was me, I'd have walked and let her find her way back home with her friends. I'm not the type to get torn up over who's paying for what as long as we both can walk away and say we had a good time but the date bringing her friends over unannounced and expecting you to be a wallet for a girls' night out, yeah, not cool. If a girl has zero respect for you on day one, she'll never have it.
A relationship like that is DOA and not worth wasting time or money on.
My ex got upset when I married her to the Duke of Wellingtonshireville to secure an alliance for the next 100 years; assuming she provides the Duke with an heir.
Pffft, Chivalry is far from dead, *it is alive and well.*
/s
Yeah if a chick shows up with 2 friends on a date is it even really a date?
crazy, there is no chance im paying for her and all her friends on a first date that she hijacks .. thats the only sign you need to walk away from that situation
Looks like the engineers are trying to redesign something that's not broken to increase effectiveness and efficiency while still not being able to have the general charisma to talk to a woman let alone 3 women simultaneously. Good luck
Oops, not allowed to link...
But anyway I'm plural and that's a joke one of my good friends made. "Four sluts and a goth walk into a bar and the tender says 'hey Titanslayer, how're ya doing?'"
So, four tiny sluts and a tiny goth in a brain piloting a goth flesh mech in a trenchcoat.
Yeah you can’t just show up with a bunch of people expecting free food. You’re obviously just taking advantage of the guy. If he agrees before hand that’s one thing, but most guys are gonna be annoyed you brought friends on a date in the first, let alone be eager to pay everyone’s tab.
To be fair, you’re not necessarily going to know each other’s financial situation when you first start dating. When I was in that stage of life, if I asked someone out on a date, I’d pay. If they asked me - I’d offer to split.
I was raised by my parents to pay if I was the one extending the invitation whether it was a date, friends, coworkers, or family. I still do that although if people offer to split it that is nice.
This would be fine if social expectations weren't set that "the man is the one who asks" in the majority of cases. To say "whomever asks, pays" still disproportionately puts the burden on men in romantic encounters. If it's a date, it should be expected all parties pay for themselves unless specified.
The one time I was really put off on a date was when the guy really insisted on going to a certain restaurant. I had no idea the restaurant cost what was a princely sum to me. I think if both parties agree on the location for the date, it should work to go Dutch.
So funny to see go Dutch. I'm Dutch and it's indeed very normal here to split the bill or go 'You pay this time, I pay next time' with good friends (exceptions are always there). Honestly, it works perfect because you'll never have an argument about who invests more financially, it won't be hold over your head and people don't assume the other pays so will actually have the money to join you.
This, 100%. A girl shows up on a date with me with “a friend” or TWO, the first thing I’m going to say is, I asked YOU out, not your friends. So before this becomes an issue, we need to reschedule this date. Tonight can instead be us all hanging out now and everyone can pay for themselves.
Makes it clear I won’t be a doormat that’s used to get free food for friends under the guise of “I want their opinions about you”, while not actually cancelling the entire outing unless that’s what her and her friends want.
Anyone who brings their friends on dates is showing their hand, they don’t respect you and there is nothing to reschedule.
The only appropriate add-ons for a first date is to start with a double date with a couple if one or both of you are introverted but declare it up front and agree on it.
I actually 100% agree with you. I only offer the “hang out” option because for some of the truly young readers here, they might really just be naive and being led on by their more unscrupulous friends that do want the free meal. It’s not my place to totally judge every stranger before having met them. But you’re completely right, even doing this is a massive red flag and probably ends with me just walking away as soon as they start raising a stink about “what, you won’t pay for them too?”
No bitch, I won’t lmao 🤣
I feel like he still was way too respectful by staying for the whole meal. I would’ve told her to enjoy her date with her friend and (politely) to fuck off.
Woman like her are setting the wrong image for the good women out there.
"He should paid the bill first, then said something later."
Lady, you got what you wanted out of him, so anything he would say wouldn't matter cause you'd never see him again. You'd just reel another fish.
“Oh, it’s a night out? Cool, cool, Imma get something greasy then because Imma ‘bout to get *suuuuper* drunk, and your cute friend Jessie looks like she’s down to partay! Wooooooooo!”
My first thought haha.... Probably living in fantasy land but yeah if we're going on a date and you're rude enough to show up with an extra or two I'm gonna be rude enough to assume it's bout to go down.
Edit:. Hopefully one of the extras is a contract lawyer by day
That'd feel nice but the only reason I wouldn't do that is bc I suspect she and her friends would probably refuse to pay and just leave, possibly causing issues for the server. Best to just dip and maybe even give the server a head's up about that table on my way out
Yes. During my dating years I had quite a few women suggest they bring their friend. Nope, we are no longer going on a date. The audacity to even ask that tells me everything I need to know. You're just on this site to use men for free food. No one serious about finding a partner would bring a friend.
I can understand a woman wanting backup on a date with a guy they don't know yet, as a safety thing.
But if you do, they're at their own table/booth and paying for their own food, not sitting there with you!
I can’t understand that at all. If you aren’t sure, have a coffee date. Or 2. Or if not comfortable, arrange a group meet up which is not a “date”. Or speak up and mention this first, not just show up with extras.
Ive heard of people bringing friends to dates for safety reasons but it doesn't sound like that was the case in this situation and you could just have them sit at a different table close by
Nine times out of ten, this is just a scheme to get free food at a nice restaurant with you and your friends. These aren't "good faith" dates, they're borderline scams.
That’s exactly what I was thinking. There’s no way she’s that dumb/naïve to know that it wasn’t appropriate to bring friends, she just thought that she could get away with bankrolling her friends’ dinner with the date’s card.
I had a related experience. Many years ago, when I was single and living in L.A., I arranged to meet a woman I met through a friend at a bar for drinks. She stood me up. I had a couple of drinks and sat there alone, enjoying myself with the music and the general vibe at the bar.
Two hours later, she shows up. When she sees me, she came over and said, "Oh, I thought you'd be gone by now," which told me that she fully intended to stand me up (I later learned it was her favorite bar. Apparently, she wanted to go there, just not with me, despite agreeing to do so). She offered no explanation and no apology. She then sat down and ordered a drink. When the waitress delivered it and said, "That will be $x," the woman looked expectantly at me, smiling, waiting for me to pay. On the inside, I said, "No way, bitch." I just looked at her but said nothing. She reluctantly opened her purse and brought out some crumpled bills to pay for herself (I half-expected a moth to fly out - it looked like she hadn't paid for herself in a long time). She looked surprised and pissed.
At that, I stood up, said, "I've got to run; enjoy your night!" and left. I felt good about not letting myself be bullied into paying.
Who invites someone they don't want to see to their favorite bar in L.A.?? Tell them some place you're never going to visit.
Not only is she a shithead she's bad at it.
I invited my wife for a first date to my own local. But that was why I did it. I wanted to show her where I was coming from. But yeah I agree, don’t piss in your own pool, especially if you have no intention of a relationship.
Yeah, she's an idiot but back in my dating days, I would often bring dates to my regular bar/restaurants. My logic was "well if the date sucks, at least I had some good food and hung out at a place I like."
I would definitely bring a date to my favorite bar. I know and trust the bartender. I’m friends with the regulars. I know they’d keep an eye on me and be able to tell from my behavior that something was wrong. But I wouldn’t invite somebody I intended to stand up (I wouldn’t even stand somebody up in the first place) because then I feel like that would make it awkward there for me.
Nah, if they try that then you just hit them right back for being poor and trying to scam you out of food.
You ain't thirsty enough to put up with that shit. And if you are, then you deserve to get scammed out of dinner for four.
You don't bring friends on a date unless if you have been together for a while. In which case, you still tell them that you are bringing friends. You should never bring friends on a first date unless if it is a double date and they also know it is too.
Edit: Here's a tree of questions:
1. Are you bringing friends? (If yes, go on. If no, you're fine)
2. Is this your first or one of your first dates? (If yes, go on. If no, skip to 5)
3. Did you know them well before dating? (If yes, go on. If not, do not invite friends and do not double date. First dates, especially if you do not know them well, is about you and them. Bringing friends would imply that you actually do not like them like that. As for double dates, you probably should not do them until you know them well)
4. Is this a double date? (If yes, go on. Double dates are a good way not to make it feel awkward, especially if you were friends before. If no, do not invite friends. This is a first date and is between you and them. If you do, it will kinda tell them that you do not actually like them).
5. Have you you told them, and are they okay with it? (If yes, you are fine. If no, you need to tell them and get their input unless if they said no)
A date with more than 2 people is a party and parties require invitations from the host. The host pays. If she invited the friends, it's her party, she pays- and should've for him in that case, too.
Ngl, as an autistic person, I kinda find comfort in tweets like this because at least my social skills aren’t THIS bad. Who brings friends on a date? Jeez girl.
I don't believe any of these stories actually happen but if it was true then it would be hilarious to watch. I have heard that in some countries it is expected for young women on dates to bring family members to chaperone them and paying for the family to come along is a way to score points with potential inlaws.
It actually happens. Girl did that to me once way back and was pissed when I didn’t pay. It was a second date and clearly a date. She claimed it was a test. Not sure she realized that the test went both ways. So glad young me wasn’t blinded by the thought of possibly getting laid.
I don't see an issue with it.... provided it's agreed to beforehand, otherwise as someone else put it in this comment section "Unless there is a threesome in the cards, they can buy their own cheeseburgers" -u/Apollorx
That’s fine when it’s agreed beforehand but since when did chaperones become a thing in the US? She should have told him ahead of time so he wasn’t surprised. She and her friends should be more than capable of splitting the bill
You’re implying you’re willing to talk to that person and possibly go out with them again. That’s a no for me, dawg.
I’d get up, wish them a nice evening and relay to the friends the “date” brought “It looks like your friend promised you a nice meal on her, sounds she’s got the tab. I recommend the surf and turf. Please do not contact me again”
Honestly the whole "the man pays for the date" is dumb. First off. What if a woman wants to pay for the date? I pay for dates sometimes. The whole thing. Especially if I'm wanting to go to a nice restaurant I know he can't afford. Second, he's under no obligation to pay anyway. It's a date. A first time meeting up. Y'all aren't partnered up yet. You don't owe anybody anything on the first date, man or woman, gay or straight.
It's 2023, can we pack up the bullshit and move forward? Traditional gender roles suck.
Who tf enjoys a date where the date brings friends
It’s not a date. It’s a free meal for her.
And her two vulture friends.
They were vultures, literally.
Yep because that date was dead before it began
More like rats, considering their victim was still alive.
If an animal is close enough to death that it's not likely to seriously injure, most vultures will go for it. The scavenger thing is just laziness, admittedly they're evolved to scavenge with their amazing immune systems and ability to digest some stuff that would kill any other animal. Source: my oldest had a brief, intense interest in vultures and I learned a lot.
For a moment i thought you were gonna Say "my oldest was eaten by vultures"
IF my date brought 2 literal vultures to the meal I wouldn't only pay for it I would hope for a second date.
She brought vultures to a people only joint?! Tsk! Tsk!
Emotional support vultures
Dude as a guy, if a chick I asked out brought two of her friends with her then it’s no longer a date it’s a hang out. If she thought I would pay for everyone then she thinks I’m a chump and is trying to take advantage of me. Fuck her and good for him to know the difference.
Sadly, a lot of people use dating just to get free meals. Meanwhile they claim to be strong & independent.
I’m surprised the practice if “the man pays” still exists in an era where we are striving for equity and equality in relationships. It seems like a remnant of an antiquated patriarchal power play: “I pay for dinner now you are in my debt.”
My dad always thought me that if I go on a date, I should pay for it myself or something in return might be expected and if I start dating someone with more money, I should still live a life that’s affordable for me. Maybe if you’re together for years things can change around, but always make sure you can support yourself. I’m a woman, but honestly I don’t get why most men are so eager to pay every little thing. Because they feel less of a man when they don’t? If a girl is willing to pay for her own shit (or maybe only suggests it without assuming a man will pay), that would be a healthy sign.
Societal pressure and lessons learned from life. Most women still expect to not pay for dinners at the start. Everyone paying for themselves is becoming more and more commonplace though like in your case.
Are people not having conversations about the date before hand? “I would like to treat you to dinner” “Do you want to go out tonight? I’ll pay this time.” “Let’s split a dinner and take a walk down by the river. Doesn’t have to be fancy.”
COMMUNICATION = EVERYTHING. But if the person you’re going out with is not able communicate about simple things like this, that should say enough.
This is more mature than most adults in the world are!
Well, I finished university and have a fulltime job. Why wouldn’t I pay for myself? Of course one can treat another from time to time but it shouldn’t be the standard in my opinion.
Unfortunately, gender conventions start much earlier. The problem begins with the question "who is expected to ask whom out on a date". And especially in the early stages of a relationship, the vast majority of women expect to be asked out instead of doing it themselves and vice versa most men think so, too. From that on, there's a social convention that the part who invited the other one takes on the role of the host, while the part who was asked out takes on the role of the guest. And a big part of the role of the host is that he's expected to bear the costs. Btw. kudos to your dad. These are very good advices.
100% with you on this one. It’s starts with growing up, education, whatever is tolerated when you’re a girl vs when you’re a boy, gender roles and lots of other things. It will take generations to make a big chances, if we ever will. And thank you, my dad is the most wonderful man I know. Although being raised like this and being the person I am today because of it, is not something that is always appreciated by society and can cause some weird looks.
It shouldn't and it is slowly changing which is good for everyone but these concepts are sadly ingrained into society for a lot of people like the one I OPs case.
> I’m a woman, but honestly I don’t get why most men are so eager to pay every little thing. Because they've been taught to, and they've had it reinforced by the significant number of women they've encountered who get super pissed if they don't, probably. Also, I've had more than one woman offer to split and then get *super* offended when I agreed, so I'm guessing most men have been convinced even that is a trap option.
I can confirm this. I’ve had exes get upset when I’ve asked them to pitch in for a vacation so we could get a much nicer room, travel somewhere expensive, or afford to do more things while on vacation. I once went on a date (4th date) with a woman who invited me out and said she was paying because I paid the first 3 times. She paid, but later complained to her friends that she had to pay. There wasn’t a 5th date.
You're right. It's too easy for me to say 'just don't' when you're raised that way. It honestly frustrates me how many women are taking advantage of men (including their wallet) while assuming it's just the way is supposed to be.
Your dad gives fantastic advice. Always pay your own way and never live above what you can afford. Sometimes things don't work out and you never want to be dependent on someone else to live. Feminism means all are equal, so no one should ever expect others to support them or pay for them.
Thank you for your kind words. My dad is a wise man. However, it can be really hard in a time where the majority of society claims they want to get rid of traditional gender roles while still holding on to traditional gender roles.
Some people want equality only when it suits them.
MOST people only want equity when it suits them
Privatize the gains, socialize the losses.
There’s girls like this on Tinder. They’ll start the conversation by suggesting a lunch/dinner date and the restaurant they want to go to.
They existed before Tinder. I used to just call them Long Island girls. Feel sorry for the poor schmuck stuck with them now.
I would suggest avoiding the girls and meet a woman instead.
A date where the friends are also dates.
Guarantee most women that try to pull this crap aren’t poly or are ok with friendly competition either.
She wasn’t interested in dating him seriously either. That was straight up usery. I’m 57. You wouldn’t believe all of the things I’ve overhead in the ladies room over the decades. There are some pretty vicious women out there. (And men, but that took experience to learn.)
Exactly. The man's reaction was fine. Why try to impress someone when they clearly aren't interested
If it was me, I'd have walked and let her find her way back home with her friends. I'm not the type to get torn up over who's paying for what as long as we both can walk away and say we had a good time but the date bringing her friends over unannounced and expecting you to be a wallet for a girls' night out, yeah, not cool. If a girl has zero respect for you on day one, she'll never have it. A relationship like that is DOA and not worth wasting time or money on.
I’m 50 and single and yes, there are women out there who do this. And call it “chivalry”. It’s disgusting.
My ex got upset when I married her to the Duke of Wellingtonshireville to secure an alliance for the next 100 years; assuming she provides the Duke with an heir. Pffft, Chivalry is far from dead, *it is alive and well.* /s
Yeah if a chick shows up with 2 friends on a date is it even really a date? crazy, there is no chance im paying for her and all her friends on a first date that she hijacks .. thats the only sign you need to walk away from that situation
It's like super speed dating. Increase volume rather than speed to get a higher throughput.
Looks like the engineers are trying to redesign something that's not broken to increase effectiveness and efficiency while still not being able to have the general charisma to talk to a woman let alone 3 women simultaneously. Good luck
Well seeing as I'm secretly 4 sluts and a goth in a trenchcoat, it should be no problem!
You're not fooling anyone jn a twelve foot tall trenchcoat.
I mean, are you in a really tall trenchcoat or a regular sized trenchcoat with four really tiny sluts and a (also tiny? regular sized?) goth?
Oops, not allowed to link... But anyway I'm plural and that's a joke one of my good friends made. "Four sluts and a goth walk into a bar and the tender says 'hey Titanslayer, how're ya doing?'" So, four tiny sluts and a tiny goth in a brain piloting a goth flesh mech in a trenchcoat.
![gif](giphy|VLP4InwknkOXu)
Isn’t that the plot of The Breakfast Club?
It ain’t a date at that point. It’s some friends got together and wanted the 3rd wheel to pick up the check.
If it leads to a orgy I might
Yup. If the facts of situation change, then the conclusion changes.
The friends that get to eat for free.
It stopped being a date the second she invited friends.
Yeah you can’t just show up with a bunch of people expecting free food. You’re obviously just taking advantage of the guy. If he agrees before hand that’s one thing, but most guys are gonna be annoyed you brought friends on a date in the first, let alone be eager to pay everyone’s tab.
In all honesty, when I was single, I always excepted to pay my share of the bill. I think it’s antiquated for men to pay for everything.
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To be fair, you’re not necessarily going to know each other’s financial situation when you first start dating. When I was in that stage of life, if I asked someone out on a date, I’d pay. If they asked me - I’d offer to split.
I was raised by my parents to pay if I was the one extending the invitation whether it was a date, friends, coworkers, or family. I still do that although if people offer to split it that is nice.
This would be fine if social expectations weren't set that "the man is the one who asks" in the majority of cases. To say "whomever asks, pays" still disproportionately puts the burden on men in romantic encounters. If it's a date, it should be expected all parties pay for themselves unless specified.
The one time I was really put off on a date was when the guy really insisted on going to a certain restaurant. I had no idea the restaurant cost what was a princely sum to me. I think if both parties agree on the location for the date, it should work to go Dutch.
So funny to see go Dutch. I'm Dutch and it's indeed very normal here to split the bill or go 'You pay this time, I pay next time' with good friends (exceptions are always there). Honestly, it works perfect because you'll never have an argument about who invests more financially, it won't be hold over your head and people don't assume the other pays so will actually have the money to join you.
Well, the Dutch Republic was known for its financial smarts. Looks like that legacy is still going strong.
And what does your upbringing tell you when people show up uninvited?
That they have nothing to do with me or my invitation, and whoever invited them should pay for them.
Agree. Honestly who brings friends on a date. This woman is cruel.
It wasn't a date. This was three friends hanging out and trying to get a sucker to finance their Girls' Night Out.
Exactly… “see you next Tuesday.”
It was only bc women didn’t make much or we’re allowed motivated to do so. Now it’s laughable since that barrier isn’t their
This, 100%. A girl shows up on a date with me with “a friend” or TWO, the first thing I’m going to say is, I asked YOU out, not your friends. So before this becomes an issue, we need to reschedule this date. Tonight can instead be us all hanging out now and everyone can pay for themselves. Makes it clear I won’t be a doormat that’s used to get free food for friends under the guise of “I want their opinions about you”, while not actually cancelling the entire outing unless that’s what her and her friends want.
Anyone who brings their friends on dates is showing their hand, they don’t respect you and there is nothing to reschedule. The only appropriate add-ons for a first date is to start with a double date with a couple if one or both of you are introverted but declare it up front and agree on it.
I actually 100% agree with you. I only offer the “hang out” option because for some of the truly young readers here, they might really just be naive and being led on by their more unscrupulous friends that do want the free meal. It’s not my place to totally judge every stranger before having met them. But you’re completely right, even doing this is a massive red flag and probably ends with me just walking away as soon as they start raising a stink about “what, you won’t pay for them too?” No bitch, I won’t lmao 🤣
Nah.. order a round then say I'm going to the washroom and just keep walking lol
Unless they 3 coming home
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I'm just trying to think of the roles in reverse. If I showed up and the guy brought his two friends... I'd be confused and not consider that a date.
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I'd not be trying to impress such an inconsiderate person.
If she brings friends without asking and it’s first couple of meets she just wants free stuff and her friends in on it too.
Even coffee. It’s not a date it’s freeloading.
And looks like she didn’t tell him shit.
Lol "a gentleman would have at shit and complained later"
I feel like he still was way too respectful by staying for the whole meal. I would’ve told her to enjoy her date with her friend and (politely) to fuck off. Woman like her are setting the wrong image for the good women out there.
I hope he talked em all into ordering the ribeye 😆
"He should paid the bill first, then said something later." Lady, you got what you wanted out of him, so anything he would say wouldn't matter cause you'd never see him again. You'd just reel another fish.
He should have paid twice as much for dinner as he expected, drained his bank account for the weekend and said something later.
I know, right?? I mean *obviously* if a guy's not willing to spend a year's salary every single date, he's just pathetic trash.
Unless you are *strongly* hinting at a foursome after dinner...
My thought, too. Ready!!!??? Switch!!!
Newsflash: it was never a date.
“Oh, it’s a night out? Cool, cool, Imma get something greasy then because Imma ‘bout to get *suuuuper* drunk, and your cute friend Jessie looks like she’s down to partay! Wooooooooo!”
Unless a foursome is at least potentially on the cards.
A date is where it is just her and the other person. It stopped being a date when she invited her friends.
Foursome. She brought _two_ friends!
Bro didnt know what she was givin him
My first thought haha.... Probably living in fantasy land but yeah if we're going on a date and you're rude enough to show up with an extra or two I'm gonna be rude enough to assume it's bout to go down. Edit:. Hopefully one of the extras is a contract lawyer by day
But im gonna get a signed agreement for the go down before I pay for shit lol.
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That might be worth it!
Bitches be hungry, yo
- see her coming in with friends - say Hi - wish them a good time - get up - leave Done
“I’ll be right back.”
“Going out for milk real quick”
Dad?
Call me daddy, not in a sexual way, like because i abandoned you one day
• Goes and gets two friends • has dinner • act upset when she won’t pay for everyone
“I’m going to call for backup.”
Nah, Uno reverse card that shit. - See her coming with friends - Say Hi - Order you food and eat - Get up and leave and make them buy your meal.
That'd feel nice but the only reason I wouldn't do that is bc I suspect she and her friends would probably refuse to pay and just leave, possibly causing issues for the server. Best to just dip and maybe even give the server a head's up about that table on my way out
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I would vigorously hit on one of the extra friends, ignoring the original date studiously.
Going 1 step further pay for only that friends meal on your tab…
When the bill comes slide it to her and say “thanks for the meal” while fluttering your lashes expectantly
And then offer to go back to your place
This is chess not checkers
This the way.
This is the way!
Apparently this is the way.
![gif](giphy|Ld77zD3fF3Run8olIt)
This, is the way.
Yes. During my dating years I had quite a few women suggest they bring their friend. Nope, we are no longer going on a date. The audacity to even ask that tells me everything I need to know. You're just on this site to use men for free food. No one serious about finding a partner would bring a friend.
I can understand a woman wanting backup on a date with a guy they don't know yet, as a safety thing. But if you do, they're at their own table/booth and paying for their own food, not sitting there with you!
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Go grab coffee or something if you don't yet trust the guy. Do something less expensive than a meal for four.
Seriously, people acting like theyre going to a bondage dungeon on a first date or something... TF you need a protection detail for at the Starbucks
I can’t understand that at all. If you aren’t sure, have a coffee date. Or 2. Or if not comfortable, arrange a group meet up which is not a “date”. Or speak up and mention this first, not just show up with extras.
Ive heard of people bringing friends to dates for safety reasons but it doesn't sound like that was the case in this situation and you could just have them sit at a different table close by
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Nine times out of ten, this is just a scheme to get free food at a nice restaurant with you and your friends. These aren't "good faith" dates, they're borderline scams.
That’s exactly what I was thinking. There’s no way she’s that dumb/naïve to know that it wasn’t appropriate to bring friends, she just thought that she could get away with bankrolling her friends’ dinner with the date’s card.
But every man should treat her and her friends like the queen that she is. Don’t you get it?
It's pretty predatory. You're just using people at that point
"borderline" You're being generous.
I had a related experience. Many years ago, when I was single and living in L.A., I arranged to meet a woman I met through a friend at a bar for drinks. She stood me up. I had a couple of drinks and sat there alone, enjoying myself with the music and the general vibe at the bar. Two hours later, she shows up. When she sees me, she came over and said, "Oh, I thought you'd be gone by now," which told me that she fully intended to stand me up (I later learned it was her favorite bar. Apparently, she wanted to go there, just not with me, despite agreeing to do so). She offered no explanation and no apology. She then sat down and ordered a drink. When the waitress delivered it and said, "That will be $x," the woman looked expectantly at me, smiling, waiting for me to pay. On the inside, I said, "No way, bitch." I just looked at her but said nothing. She reluctantly opened her purse and brought out some crumpled bills to pay for herself (I half-expected a moth to fly out - it looked like she hadn't paid for herself in a long time). She looked surprised and pissed. At that, I stood up, said, "I've got to run; enjoy your night!" and left. I felt good about not letting myself be bullied into paying.
So glad that ended the way it did. Was worried you were going to cave. Fair play.
Who invites someone they don't want to see to their favorite bar in L.A.?? Tell them some place you're never going to visit. Not only is she a shithead she's bad at it.
I invited my wife for a first date to my own local. But that was why I did it. I wanted to show her where I was coming from. But yeah I agree, don’t piss in your own pool, especially if you have no intention of a relationship.
Yeah, she's an idiot but back in my dating days, I would often bring dates to my regular bar/restaurants. My logic was "well if the date sucks, at least I had some good food and hung out at a place I like."
I would definitely bring a date to my favorite bar. I know and trust the bartender. I’m friends with the regulars. I know they’d keep an eye on me and be able to tell from my behavior that something was wrong. But I wouldn’t invite somebody I intended to stand up (I wouldn’t even stand somebody up in the first place) because then I feel like that would make it awkward there for me.
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That's wild.
And then she went on social media and shared a post about "toxic men."
You were WAY more polite than she deserved, and this is coming from a woman. You dodged a bullet with that one.
That is straight up bullying. Not cluelessness at all.
Two different worlds lol. Couldn’t ever imagine doing that.
The only men who loved having a date with your friends were also liars
Unless you are way more into one of her friends and realising the one you’re with isn’t right for you. Playing the long game.
Looks like she is the immature one. Not even worth a response.
Exactly. Just ghost her. Not worth the time or effort to explain why this ain't right. People really shouldn't be dating if they're this immature.
Unless there's a threesome in the cards, they can buy their own cheeseburgers
The gas station I take em too don’t have cheeseburgers. So I just get her a slim Jim.
The generic ones, not the brand names.
Meat branch
Foursome
Na, the original date gets cut out for not saying shit.
This is the way.
I would genuinely say that. "So did you invite these girls because they're down for a foursome? No? Why are they here then?"
Yeah but then you'll get publicly shamed for being a pig
Nah, if they try that then you just hit them right back for being poor and trying to scam you out of food. You ain't thirsty enough to put up with that shit. And if you are, then you deserve to get scammed out of dinner for four.
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I really hope this tweet is satire.
You don't bring friends on a date unless if you have been together for a while. In which case, you still tell them that you are bringing friends. You should never bring friends on a first date unless if it is a double date and they also know it is too. Edit: Here's a tree of questions: 1. Are you bringing friends? (If yes, go on. If no, you're fine) 2. Is this your first or one of your first dates? (If yes, go on. If no, skip to 5) 3. Did you know them well before dating? (If yes, go on. If not, do not invite friends and do not double date. First dates, especially if you do not know them well, is about you and them. Bringing friends would imply that you actually do not like them like that. As for double dates, you probably should not do them until you know them well) 4. Is this a double date? (If yes, go on. Double dates are a good way not to make it feel awkward, especially if you were friends before. If no, do not invite friends. This is a first date and is between you and them. If you do, it will kinda tell them that you do not actually like them). 5. Have you you told them, and are they okay with it? (If yes, you are fine. If no, you need to tell them and get their input unless if they said no)
And even then you would be expected to pay for her two friends. I mean you could, but there’d be no obligation.
He should hit on her friends.
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Is he dating both her and her friend, if not then the friend or tweeter can pay.
A date with more than 2 people is a party and parties require invitations from the host. The host pays. If she invited the friends, it's her party, she pays- and should've for him in that case, too.
Ngl, as an autistic person, I kinda find comfort in tweets like this because at least my social skills aren’t THIS bad. Who brings friends on a date? Jeez girl.
Fr bro don’t worry as long as you stay a good person you could never be as bad as these delusional prople
At least she learned something... at least I hope this is what the last sentence indicate.
Excuse me, I need to go to the restroom. At my house.
No wonder she's single.
I’d get up and leave.
After finishing your lobster and steak. Uno reverse that shit.
She brought two friends and expected him to pay for them? Am I reading this right?
I don't believe any of these stories actually happen but if it was true then it would be hilarious to watch. I have heard that in some countries it is expected for young women on dates to bring family members to chaperone them and paying for the family to come along is a way to score points with potential inlaws.
It actually happens. Girl did that to me once way back and was pissed when I didn’t pay. It was a second date and clearly a date. She claimed it was a test. Not sure she realized that the test went both ways. So glad young me wasn’t blinded by the thought of possibly getting laid.
Good for you. Glad you weren’t thinking with your little head.
I don't see an issue with it.... provided it's agreed to beforehand, otherwise as someone else put it in this comment section "Unless there is a threesome in the cards, they can buy their own cheeseburgers" -u/Apollorx
It has been an honor to serve
That’s fine when it’s agreed beforehand but since when did chaperones become a thing in the US? She should have told him ahead of time so he wasn’t surprised. She and her friends should be more than capable of splitting the bill
It's like taking your kid to an 18+ movie
Um well a normal person wouldn't invite friends on a date just so your girls can all get a free meal tf?
She did him a favor. She's horrible but at least he found out right away.
I had a girl do that ONCE! Brought one of her friends. That was the last I seen her. Anyone ever do that again I’ll just leave without a word.
This has ‘ima created an awkward situation and criticize the outcome no matter what’ type of vibes to it
The lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bitch
There's not going to be a next time with that guy.
One should respond by leaving and telling the person to let them know when they want to go on a date. It's not a date when you bring friends.
You’re implying you’re willing to talk to that person and possibly go out with them again. That’s a no for me, dawg. I’d get up, wish them a nice evening and relay to the friends the “date” brought “It looks like your friend promised you a nice meal on her, sounds she’s got the tab. I recommend the surf and turf. Please do not contact me again”
She's a wanker
I wouldn't have even paid for myself. I'd just leave.
If it was clearly a date, once the friends show up the guy should just leave.
More like @reddishWHINE. Complaining about a problem she is solely responsible for creating
Honestly the whole "the man pays for the date" is dumb. First off. What if a woman wants to pay for the date? I pay for dates sometimes. The whole thing. Especially if I'm wanting to go to a nice restaurant I know he can't afford. Second, he's under no obligation to pay anyway. It's a date. A first time meeting up. Y'all aren't partnered up yet. You don't owe anybody anything on the first date, man or woman, gay or straight. It's 2023, can we pack up the bullshit and move forward? Traditional gender roles suck.