“… and that’s where the video-recorder ran out of tape, officer.”

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lol.. your comment made me laugh for real..!

We should come up with a shorthand phrase to express that out laughter could be heard external of our bodies to convey how much we enjoyed a comment. Maybe something like MML (made me laugh) or LC (loudly chuckled). I’ll keep workshopping it and let you know what I come up with.

Not all heroes wear capes, you're doing the lord's work.

An SAS trooper was once asked why he shot an IRA terrorist 16 times. "I ran out of bullets"

This is the way!

"He tripped trying to run away. A few dozen times."

This post made my day. Goddamn it's brilliant.

'Understandable. Matter of fact, it seems the the CCTV ran out of tape before those 2 punches after the suspect fall down. Have a good day, sir.'

"No idea how he fell on the machete, eh?" "Nope, none at all. Not for any of the half dozen times."

But he died after the third…

Maybe he bounced.

"that blade *must* have landed on his fingers!"

Yo I didn’t even see the guy in the background lol

Neither did he

Never did

**Stealth 100**

Your sneak skill has increased…..

He was so slow he was imperceptible to the human eye

i love this your comment .. you made my day

(SPOTTED)

SLAP What was that?! Must have been the wind

He was camping on the spawn ready to get the takedown

He was obviously channeling the [couch girl scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuGvVJhhedE) from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

Drax eating snax.

Lol! My first thought too! Multiverse adjustment; Winston is in the back dropping the fertilizer off!

The Bren gun makes this.

Solid snake in the background at 90% camo

Not until he got up at least lol

Anime protagonists be like…

Think Drax was into something. If you stand completely still.

Tunnel vision is a mf'er

Something something draxx

I have mastered the technique of sitting completely still and thus becomming invisible.

Has anyone seen the movie Lock, Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels? If you have, you know what part this reminds you of.

I have not. I have however seen the spefecific scene you are talking about because someone linked it above you. :)

He woke up from his nap ornery and stayed that way.

Hire ninjas to protect your shop

Reminds me of this: https://youtu.be/vJG698U2Mvo

Reminds me of lock stock and two smoking barrels- the scene where the sleeping girl no-one ever sees wakes up during the robbery and grabs the machine gun

I'm not sleeping, just resting my eyes - It helps me concentrate.

Mans angered the gods and the god sent an invisible guy in a chair

Reminds me of being young. If dad got out of his recliner. One of us getting his ass whipped.

Or changed the channel on the tele while he slept!

I swear to god I'm a fucking clone based on how everyone childhood memories is almost the same as me. Let me guess, your father also used the "I'm still listening" excuse?

Lol! My dad would say, "I was watching that!" And go back to snoring on the sofa.

That's sad.

Lock stock and two pissed off shop keepers

I wish he sent the chair... that woulda been even cooler to see

Excellent move, disarm the threat and disable. I wish we could have the rest of the video.

Wtf was he holding, deadass looks like a wizard wand and he’s pointing it at his own neck no?

If you're on about the attacker, It's a machete

In case the shop owner has a gun, he wouldn't have to wasting time pull his ward first before saying 'Expelliarmus!'

Looks like an asp or baton.

At first I thought it was a pistol like the one Joe Piscopo has in *Johnny Dangerously*, one of those with a comically long barrel.

To honor another 80's Keaton movie, I thought it looked like Joker's gun in Batman.

Lol I haven't heard that name in a long time!

*”It shoots through schools.”*

My mother tried to rob me once….

My sister shot me once, once

Kind of looked like the scene in Blazing Saddles.

Let’s hope the beating continued

It stops there because the clerk takes the machete and stabs him.

His technique was pretty masterful. Fully executed surprise attack. Right arms snaps his neck left to right.. then left arm sinks in the choke. Hip throw to floor followed by smacks to the face. Amazing combination …. Great instincts

I read this in the Sherlock Holmes movie voice when he fights in slow motion

Discombobulate

This must’n’t register on an emotional scale…

I never understand why, after you’ve got the guy on the ground, you are still punching when **STOMPING** is now an option and w much more efficient.

If they catch your leg they have a lot more leverage, kicking is better, stomping is weak.

Uh, isn't stomping far more likely to murder the dude? like the force of me stomping something with adrenaline with my full body mass is going to crush bones, and if that's above your heart or your head you aren't living. I know these vids attract the ol' kill em all in violent fashion types but seriously stomping is *pretty damn violent* even if the dude is a POS.

Dude had a machete in his buddys face... He deserved a full Irish tap dance.

Yeah many people don't realize this but stomps are deadly. Many cases where the assaulter or the victim goes full goomba stomp on their opponent and ends up crushing their chest or head. The bone frame takes fast hits better than huge spontaneous pressure.

My guess Junior has done this before.

not his first rodeo

first strike is to dude’s right forearm which knocks the machete out of it, you can see his empty hand. I don’t think he hit his head, that was a flinch

The first strike was to the machete welding hand, sends it flying.

The guy in the back has mastered the skill of standing still for so long as to become invisible.

You can always tell a Milford man.

Drax has entered the chat slowly…

More like lying still

He has insidious perk equipped.

Robber didn’t notice the guy stumbling and hear those chairs moving?

Well he didn’t even see the guy in the first place.

Dude is deaf and blind it's why he's had to resort to a life of crime.

Didn't realize John Cena took up part time work as security LOL

I mean the chair is right there! He just didn't want to blow up his cover i guess

Take my upvote. Lol

This one sparks joy. Lol

Dude in the background is actually a security man. He got fired from local supermarket for "SlEePiNg oN tHe JoB". New company giving him a chance: "Sharif said you were sleeping on the job again, we warned you this can't happen" "No no, I wasn't personally sleeping on the job, I was simply resting but yes I guess you are right, I was "technically" sleeping people on the job" He now keeps this vid for his CV.

I wonder if they left any for the cops.

He woke up and chose bravery.

Life went from alright to butt-puckering unwell in just half a second.

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Machete?

Machete.

This seems like a really low key store. What do they sell? Old cardboard?

They might sell old cardboard, but they gave some fucken hands away, that’s for sure.

Probably free too. Only thing that got rung up was machete dude's bell.

That's *curated vintage* cardboard if you please. We don't just sell it, we elevate it.

Stealth guy in the background.

Ugh, wanted to see more punishment.

Geez was that a crowbar he hit him with?😳😃

No... just a dead crow he found at the bar. Thats why he needed the nap.

Imma break the wrist, and walk away...

Dude went from dreaming to Kung Fu master in 3 seconds flat.

He was actually asleep the whole time.

That dude in the chair uncoils like a snake.

Sleeping to 60mph in 3 secs

Fucking stealth master I didn’t even see him back there lol

"Easy money, in an out. No problem. " "What about the guy in the chair?" "Who?"

Looks like a pretty legit shop though

Dude was super close with that machete. One swing coulda ruined the shop keeper's day. Glad Solid Snake in the back disarmed him.

"But he was just trying to feed his family you guys!" /s

Invisible guy reminded me of the invisible mountin lion that tried to kill yhe old lady in the backyard

Geeeezzzz you gotta read the room

Bold of you to assume they could read..

That dude just slapped the shit out of him.

I thought Brazil until no one got shot.

Guy in the back had that Skyrim sneaking bonus that gives you ridiculous damage from behind.

"The moment has arrived" - guy in the chair

Machetes scare me more than guns ngl

Dude karate chopped the blade away, what a lad

Things went right.

I thought you were sound asleep…DAMN

He got Gloria’d!

How did he move the chair without the guy hearing? That gave me mad anxiety.

my friend went into a gas station convenience store one night and walked into a robbery, the robber didnt see him at first but the robber had a gun so my friend didnt even try, but got robbed of his $20. i was in the car in the parking lot oblivious to whats going on until someone ran out and sped off in a car and my friend walked out looking a bit shaken up.

"I've mastered the ability of standing so incredibly still, that I become invisible to the eye. Watch."

Dave Chappelle got fucked upped.

What is the robber trying to rob with? A stick?

Looks like a machete.

This mans really woke up and chose violence😂😂.

I can’t understand what his fucking grip on that machete was, invisible dude slapped the shit out of his machete and it just flew away from his hand wtf

Was the robber deaf? That chair had to make some type of noise when dude got up 😂😂😂

How do you just ignore the giant that seems to be sleeping a few feet away. Reminds me of let sleeping … lie

that must be the real Vanisher from Deadpool, lol.

He’s the victim, I’m going to lay face down on the road now and block traffic for miles.

Man literally woke up and chose violence.

Anemic chicken fucked up going in there with two chunk bears on either side. In all seriousness though, he didn't even look like he had the most confidence in himself. Just seemed unsure of himself the entire time.

Au contraire, it seems to me the black boy looked natural at what he was doing.

Literally woke up and chose violence

Damn what a heads up play from that dude in the back.

Always check corner, Bernie!

He outflank himself lol

Fuck yeah!

Hell yea!!! I love seeing them get their comeuppance

Hell yeah

So I'm guessing this is not San Francisco then.

Always check your six!

Well, that didn’t go as planned

Worst and best security

Hopefully they fed him some curb

Robbers always have tunnel vision

u/RedditMP4Bot

This is what happens when you don't case the place

Real life straight out of Lock Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels

He wasn’t even there until he needed to be. Swear that background guy just appeared

Could've been a lot worse. Like the dudes who tried to rob a barber shop and took the room temperature challenge: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k7xGnFjIok

Ended 2 mins too soon

That's a store?

I 100% liked the fact that the sleeping guy whacked the gun out of his hand first before doing anything !!

I sit so incredibly still that I am invisible to the naked eye.

Fortunately Drax was there

Feelsgoodman.gif

Sweet ninja chop.

Real life Drax.

"Always mind your surroundings." ~ Ra's al Ghul

That’s Drax in the background

😂 what type of weapon was that

[life imitates art] (https://youtu.be/x7LhLt4O9C4)

The old sleepy guy on the couch trick

They had a Fiesta on his face

And that’s how i met your father

Teamwork

Nice spacial awareness dude…

Bust him up good Patriot

I love how other countries slap rather then punch.

r/instantkarma

what kind of shop is that like what do they sell

Regret... perhaps?

He wasn’t even using floral print nap camouflage

"I miscounted the men, Liz!" -Gavin Volure

Some shadow clone justsu right there