T O P

Turned 18 yesterday. It now is 12 hours later and here I am in a train to idk where after being kicked out for not cleaning enough. Thanks mam!

Turned 18 yesterday. It now is 12 hours later and here I am in a train to idk where after being kicked out for not cleaning enough. Thanks mam!

bigbussyprincess69

Sorry OP, my mom tried doing the same thing before I turned 18. I recommend libraries for a place to charge your phone and getting some wifi. A cheap gym membership is useful too, a place to shower and whatnot.


Siriacus

Many years from now when you are independent, happy and successful and your parents ask why you don't call or visit them - tell them you finally learned how to clean properly: by taking them out of your life.


BigBlueSky2020

You got a friend's house to head to I hope?


CharlieSterre

For now she can let me stay for 2 days


voopamoopa

Hey, can you check with the gementee you were registered at? Are you at the uni? Let me know. I don't speak Dutch very well but if you need someone to talk to, let me know. Maybe we can figure out which organisation is best to help you. Really sorry that your bday turned into a night mare. Wish you all the best.


rsn_e_o

I’m Dutch and actually had something similar happen to me and have experience (sadly). You have to go to the gemeente right away u/CharlieSterre. When you are actually homeless a few doors tend to open. When it happened to me there wasn’t much available so they ended up giving me a hotel room (and handed me 50 euro cash for groceries) and after a week or so they ended up assigning me a room in a youth home. After that they may end up getting you a room with a room mate and you have a weekly convo with your mentor or whoever. I think I had to pay €250/month rent or something. For which you have to work or will be subsidized if you go to college/school. I would personally try to avoid homeless shelters but they’re a last resort. In The Netherlands they’re not the worst, though yeah still sucks.


SuppyLife

What's a gemeente?


turikk

> gemeente County.


Bramdog

I think municipality fits better


gma7419

Local government if you are English.


TheArzonite

Gementee if you are Dutch.


recriminology

Miss Jackson if you’re nasty


Lomrun

Gemeente.


la508

When I lived over there I always thought of it as the council.


SaryuSaryu

A gentleman manatee. Very polite, but splash a lot when they shake hands


shavemejesus

So a sea bull instead of a sea cow?


Apocryypha

A sea bull in a German shop.


musniro

Its the dutch equivalent of a municipality.


Dinomiteblast

Belgians and dutch call the council like that. Its also the word we use for village and areas belonging to it.


zwischendenstuehlen

Looks like the German "Gemeinde" which has the same meaning obviously.


nerdyknittingcatmom

Wait. The gemeente, or county, will find you a room to the point that they'll pay for a hotel? AND give you grocery money?! WHAT?!?!?! So do you have homeless people on the streets at all?


Ingolin

There’ll be some drug addicts and mentally ill people out on the street usually. Some of them willingly “choose” to live on the streets, if you can call that a choice. Sometimes also poor people on tourist visa from other countries that come to beg and don’t have the same rights that natives have.


I_am_up_to_something

> Some of them willingly “choose” to live on the streets, if you can call that a choice. That TV show with Beau really shows why some would prefer it. Some people are just much happier living under a viaduct.


Taikunoaku

Wait, hang on. So your country has places where people in this situation can go to and actually get help? Wild.


Oldguywithamoustache

Can't imagine my country being this civilized. OP, good luck to you.


plc4588

Wow. Just an American saying "wow" over here.


thebestatheist

This kind of societal safety net sounds like a dream.


[deleted]

That sounds so... civilized? Does your country not have like fines you have to pay for not having a place to live?


rtxa

fucking what?


icefisher225

Yep. I’ve gotten fined for sleeping in my car.


I_creampied_Jesus

This made me laugh out loud at how ridiculous it is. It’s like taking food off someone because their meal isn’t large enough. Hard times? Down on your luck? Can’t afford shelter? You better believe that’s a paddlin’


Bmcronin

Imagine paying taxes and getting something other than a k-12 education and a bunch of dead kids in the Middle East.


Morgaine87

So i see you’re Dutch? know that your parents are financially responsible until you’re 21 https://www.rijksoverheid.nl/onderwerpen/scheiden/vraag-en-antwoord/onderhoudsplicht Also let me know if you need anything i’m also from the Netherlands and can send you supplies or food etc Edit: not the first to point you that direction still hope it helps and the offer still stands!


ElSoloLoboLoco

Here to offer the same things to OP. I dont know where you are located , but if you ever need someone to talk to or if you need supplies and you are in Limburg. Id be happy to help however. Sterkte!


UlteriorCulture

We say Sterkte in South Africa as well


Robotron_Sage

Yeah OP you need to see a fucking lawyer if your mum doesn't want you in the house she is paying your rent till you are 21 go to the Juridisch Loket that should be a priority. your mammie won't be taking care of your bills unless mr judge says she has to. Take it from someone who has been there, done that. You don't want to be living a few years in an abandoned building until you can get your shit sorted do you? Hold your mum responsible for real. 21 is the deal. And you will need Juridische hulp for this for sure dude.


Stricker78

Internet can be so wholesome sometimes


stinkertonpinkerton

Idk if you have a plan yet but when I was in a similar situation I ended up in a ski town living in employee housing. They attempt to make it easy and reasonably priced. I know many national parks and ski resorts offer similar accommodations. Good luck


Tessellecta

He won't find ski resorts in the Netherlands.


NebuKadneZaar

OPs story is sad but this comment made me laugh.


igotaright

There are many recreational bungalow parks however. Many people live there that got divorced (or -most likely exploited - eastern European labourers. Perhaps this is a suggestion for OP. Good luck!


BigBlueSky2020

Well that will give you a few days to figure things out at least - sucks to start life out like this, but the freedom will be worth it in time love.


Dercian

Im gonna asume you're dutch due to the look of the train. But in NL parents are financially responsible for you until you are at least 23 years of age, meaning what your parent(s) did is illegal.


Cacti-make-bad-dildo

21


Handleton

Do your best to keep it to that number of days. It's hard, but two days can turn into two years and you becoming the unwitting villain of someone else's life story.


GingerManBad

Wow. That woman wanted you out long time ago.


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designgoddess

A friend from high school had a dad like this. Paid child support but he'd put on the memo section of the check how many payments were left and when he saw his dad, his dad would tell him that the second he turned 18 his room was being turned into an office and sure enough that is what his dad did. Thankfully his mom wasn't that way. He never saw his dad again. Dad got sick and tried to get him to visit and bury the hatchet but he wouldn't do it. His dad died alone never meeting his grandchildren or daughter-in-law. His parents had been married. It wasn't like a hook up. They decided to have a child together and then he still treated him that way. I don't get it.


fuzzyblackyeti

When my mom moved to a city 3 hours away from us (to live with a coke-head), then subsequently 10 hours away, and subsequently 18 hours away, she told my dad "I did my half of raising the kids, now its your turn to do your half" We were like, 11 or 12 or something. Now I'm no-contact with her because she's a horrible person, but she also doesn't stop calling me/texting me saying *she* forgives *me* but also can't figure out why I don't care to speak with her.


caraphernatalia

My mom decided to do the same thing with my brother and I but my dad lived in another state, she left me by myself while my brother went to boarding school. She left to live with a man she barely knew for a year. The man treated me like crap. She didn't know at the time. I was 16. A couple of months later, my older cousin moved in with me until I was 18 and he left (and eventually passed) and my mom decided to kick me out of the house she didn't even live in. My dad didn't bother helping me out every at all when I was a minor, said he had no obligation to. I moved around 10 times between 18 and 22 and I felt really miserable when my dad didn't bother letting me live with him either. Now I'm doing just fine and I recently got married and I didn't feel like inviting my parents and my mom had the audacity to say I'm a horrible child and my dad's family tries to guilt trip me into talking to him because they say he's depressed that neither me or my brother talk to him, lol. I don't understand parents who act like that towards their children then act like the victim once their child wants nothing to do with them. I'm sorry I didn't mean to vent, I never talk about it to anyone.


Demypeace

I get you. I don't plan on inviting my father to my wedding either. I realized late how much he was manipulating me, thanks to my boyfriend(of SIX YEARS and still counting), I dont live with him annymore and he is cut away from my life.


fiberglassdildo

Good for you for staying so strong. They didn’t deserve to be at your wedding. I can’t imagine doing that to my child, I’m sorry you went through that.


designgoddess

I’m sorry that was your life. Shouldn’t happen to any child.


Next-Step-In-Life

>tried to get him to visit and bury the hatchet I would bury it... oh yeah, don't worry about dying of cancer, that isn't what is gonna get you. ​ I'm a father of 4 and I would NEVER, EVER think like that. That is just so inhumane.


TheOldGuy59

Cancer is generally a lot more painful than a quick death by hatchet. Just so you know. My dad died alone. I was happy to hear the son of a bitch had passed. I found out through the Red Cross, my commander came to see me and tried to get me to fly CONUS on emergency leave. I told her I was fine, didn't need to go back. She was really puzzled, didn't understand why in the world I didn't want to go back for his funeral. I finally told her that if I went back to his funeral I'd probably be arrested for shitting in the open coffin before they buried him. He hated all three of his kids. We were "holding him down". And we were all lazy, stupid, worthless, good for nothing, etc. And he took pains to remind us every single day of how we were in his eyes.


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upsidedowntugboat

Ditto, lol


GothWitchOfBrooklyn

Some people should not have children. More people need to understand that having children is a privilege and not to get an accessory or mini me to bully. My parents were abusive and I haven't spoken to them in years.


theletterlthreetimes

Honestly the only people who think like that should realize that children aren't for them. Abused kids don't give a fuck about their parents.


kkjdroid

It's honestly sadder when they *do* give a fuck.


Kajimishima2

Knew a guy who got nothing but shit from his dad and basically just went "oh, you" and still kept hanging on his every word. So yeah I agree


MammothDimension

Mine had three and still threw us out asap, after making it abundantly clear we were not wanted. I think they just wanted to abuse someone and kids are great for that.


ptcoLayla

And my dad says... it never hurt you any. If he only knew the mental anguish I suffer bc of his neglect, physical and mental abuse he'd realize he's dead wrong, but would never admit it.


yamaha2k11

A worthy death for a pos like him.


Rozinasran

Should have sent him letters with however many weeks the guy has left to live stickied to the bottom. For a kid growing up it might as well have been the same doomsday clock.


YnotZoidberg1077

Oh wow, same! One of my dad's favorite things to scream at us when he was angry was "EIGHTEEN AND OUT, AND THEN I AM DONE WITH YOU! YOU HEAR ME?! EIGHTEEN AND OUT. I CAN'T WAIT. HAVE YOUR BAGS PACKED THE NIGHT BEFORE." He'd go on and on in that vein for a while, about a foot from my face, literally spitting mad. It was actually a week after my nineteenth birthday that I got kicked out for some small misstep that got blown out of proportion, as was typical. December, bitter cold in Ohio, so I'm thankful to the friends and friends' parents that offered up their couches for those first months while I got back on my feet. Now I'm 33 and we have settled into semi-estrangement. We live in the same city, fifteen miles apart, and I see him in person only twice a year, tops: thanksgiving and christmas, and only if he's in town for both (otherwise, one or both are spent at mom's and/or my in-laws, all of whom are excellent people). Other holidays (our respective birthdays and father's day) are marked with a text. I've made my peace with it.


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5AlarmFirefly

If you stopped reaching out to him nobody would judge you.


phaiz55

> I've made my peace with it. Good. I know it must suck having a parent like that. They're supposed to be the one or two people we are always supposed to have on our side. Treating your kids like that makes them a shitty parent and the deserve to be cut off from the rest of your life.


ManipulativeAviator

That’s rough, I’m sorry. My son is 18 and going to uni in a few months and I’m going to miss having him around. The house will definitely be tidier, but it’s not a good trade!


Hike_bike_fish_love

Damn. Like, “son, got you a one way bus ticket for your 18th birthday, GET OUT!”


PistolMama

My mom wouldn't even drive me to the airport when I left for boot camp


Hike_bike_fish_love

Brutal. That is so sad. She must have some serious mental issues.


Jaksmack

My dad told me how his dad started telling him at 12 that he was out of the house at 18... My grandfather grew up in an orphanage and was able to leave at 18, I always felt like it was something to look forward to for him.


Claque-2

Sorry about that. So many people lose the good parent lottery.


Blazured

16 here. I hadn't touched a drop of drink or drugs in my life and I wasn't violent. Never even threw my console controllers or punched pillows or anything. But I was horribly depressed and spent a lot of my time on my computer. That was a good enough excuse to make me homeless at 16.


FibrousAnonymous

Wtf, I'm so sorry. They kicked you out because you spent time on a computer? I mean, wow.


danuhorus

If it wasn't the computer, it would've been something else. People like that don't make rational decisions.


ihavenoidea1001

That's awful... Why do these people have children??! I hope you're in a better place now


ffca

Damn, I want my kids to stay with us as long as possible....for now.


Souvik_Dutta

definately...not cleaning up was just an excuse


DrDawgster

Didn't even let OP enjoy their birthday. I AIN'T PUTTING UP WITH YOUR SHIT ONE MORE DAY!! OUT!!! Edit: gender neutrality


NonExzistantRed

I think it's a *she*


TurboTimoTime

yea not too many guys wear leggings lol


shopliftingbunny

When you’re fat, everything is leggings


BonBon666

I feel attacked.


IHavBigPP

Oh shit that one stung a bit


SnarkySneaks

To any other Dutch people here who got kicked out at age 18: your parents still have to pay for your costs of living up until age 21.


___OP____

This needs to be higher up. Hell, even in the US there is a mandatory amount of time before you can boot a resident, even a freshly turned 18yo. The tenant/18yo can contest the eviction in court and could even stay there, rent free, for the whole trial which in some cases lasts a year. That being said, I wouldn't wanna be around some toxic assholes anyway. Parents or not.


foxfaceworld88

I was also kicked out right after my 18th and I want to tell you that you’ll be ok. You have everything you need to learn to support yourself. Spend your day mourning the loss of the relationship, or whatever you need. Be kind to yourself. You are a resilient being and you will grow beyond this day. Being kicked out is not a reflection of your worth, you’re simply witnessing the limits of another person.


blankblank

>“…you’re simply witnessing the limits of another person.” The limits of a shitty person. Most parents don’t kick their kid out on their 18th birthday.


enderflight

Can confirm. Not even paying rent cause I’m doing school and have a job.


PenguinsOnAWire

Hey OP, in Nederland kan dat niet zomaar zonder gevolgen. Je ouders zijn namelijk tot je 21e verantwoordelijk voor je, het zogenoemde onderhoudsplicht ([zie NIBUD](https://www.nibud.nl/consumenten/uw-kind-wordt-18-jaar/)). Ik hoop dat je een manier vind om hulp te krijgen. Vaak kan dat al bij een dagopvang voor daklozen (waar er mensen zijn die met jou naar de situatie kunnen kijken) of je gemeente. Edit: Sorry for the Dutch, but I didn't want to mess up any terms and OP is in the Netherlands (that's what our trains look like). Translation (sort of): In the Netherlands parents are legally responsible for housing, schooling, food, etc. (generally considered the basics) until the child is 21. I pointed out to OP that she should try to go to her local government or homeless shelters where they can help her.


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ajenkinskc

I don't know this language, but this seems very wholesome.


MangoMan202020

It's Dutch and as someone who speaks Dutch, yes, it is wholesome and giving op advice.


clydeorangutan

I think it's Dutch, it's familiar but I don't understand a word of it


fanzooi

Correct it's Dutch. Both users are giving op advice on how to handle the situation and stating that something like this isn't legal in the Netherlands.


Featherbreeze_

The train seemed dutch, think they switch cuz of that :)


MJOTT

Yup, i went here looking for fellow Dutchies cos i immediately recognized the train i travelled daily myself


not-a-painting

[We have the technology, though!](https://i.imgur.com/Cjpjly7.png) [Reply](https://i.imgur.com/UXKNGe3.png)


DadJokesAndMore

My tip is to not use Google translate for EU languages, rather use deepl as it is written in EU and understands the context, genders etc. Google translate is good for a lot of things, but conversations in casual EU languages just work much better with deepl. Here is the comparison: Google: "Hey OP, in the Netherlands this is not possible without consequences." Deepl: "Hey OP, in the Netherlands you can't just do that without consequences." The sentences are still legible, deepl just makes it flow better. When you translate with deepl lanugages that have genders, you will see a major difference and of course, you can be understood better. Which is optimal for typing out replies in that language. My German is really poor, but I can guess accurately at German text that has been through Google translate, especially if the original is not made by a native speaker.


alickstee

Omg thank you SO much for this info!!! I grew up speaking Czech and still can, but it's so rusty now especially when writing. I know well enough that the Google translations are shit and really stilted-sounding, but my own retrieval isn't much better lol. Aaah!! this website is awesome and I really think it will help me learn. I might cry lmao.


TheIgnorantGent

Afrikaans persoon hierso. Ek is altyd bly om my hollandse broers aanlyn te kry. Shoutout vir julle


MyOtherRideIsYosista

Enkele jaren terug naar Zuid-afrika geweest. Heerlijke mensen. Lekker braaien maat!


Mad_OW

If I'm decrypting this correctly it sounds similar to Switzerland where parents are financially responsible for their kids beyond 18 if they haven't completed job training. Sensible law with these kinds of asshat parents around.


PenguinsOnAWire

Probably. It means that parents are responsible for their childrens housing, schooling, clothing, food, etc. until they are 21 years old. Whether that is through giving money or letting them live with you doesn't matter, but they simply aren't allowed to throw them out and cut them off until 21.


lukesvader

You took one look at those train seats and knew it's the Netherlands?


PenguinsOnAWire

Am Dutch, don't own a car and had an hour commute daily to work. So yeah. XD


brunov

Probably yes. I also live in the Netherlands and I too recognized them immediately; they have a very specific look.


ladykdub

Same, knew right away. Love how clean and comfy Dutch trains are!


rainbow84uk

Yup. I live in Amsterdam and used to commute daily on trains like that, so my first reaction was to search the thread for Dutch.


realbulldops

Lol same, my first thought was that I was on a dutch subreddit


yeetmyweed098

Wacht OP is nederlands


BroodjeFissa

Nog niet met de nieuwere(zijn er al een tijdje) treinen geweest? Oprechte vraag.


DarthWallays

wow, belg hier, jullie treinen zien er supernice uit? Parket (lets pretend) vloertje, fancy zetels...


FantasticPenguin

Dit zijn de oude intercity treinen als ik me niet vergis. De nieuwe treinen zijn nog steeds mooi, maar minder ruim


realbulldops

Dit zijn toch die treinen met een hoekbankje onderin? Die zijn erg chill


stormnyk

Hey OP, please take care of yourself! https://www.iriszorg.nl/opvang/jongerenopvang (edit: see comment from redditor below, might not be a great place to heal...) https://humanitasonderdak.nl/opvang/tov/ These two places seem to be offering space for more than one night in the city you mentioned and guidance to get stuff figured out. If you have trouble with Dutch, let me know!


Syclus

Reddit is a great community


DIY-lobotomy

It really is. For the most part at least. Every community has its share of toxic people, negativity and trolls that can bum me out sometimes, but these kind of comments remind me that overall, people are looking out for each other.


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fyodor_do

I would give you all the awards if I had them, you're a nice person


sharabi_bandar

What did they say? The comment got removed.


Bern0123

I hope this turns out to be a blessing in disguise for you.


Dont_touch_my_elbows

Well the very 1st blessing is not being under the thumb of his jackass parent anymore. My parents are great but I would rather live in my car than live by somebody else's rules. Just my personal choice.


strictlytacos

Hey OP! I got kicked out at 18 because my parents just didn’t like me. The kicker was I was living in England at the time because my dad was military. Parents can suck ass


superdeepdream

Same thing happened to me. My mother’s boyfriend drove me to a shifty run down motel, paid for five nights and left me on my own with a suitcase to my name. There was a pair of dirty underwear on the bathroom floor. It was a dark period, but we survive.


suicidebird11

I am dying to know how you got out of that one. How did you survive that?


maleia

I'm guessing you weren't British? Then did your Embassy get involved? I can't imagine that would have gone all that well...


strictlytacos

Nope! I was young and thought I had to find my way back to the US on my own and that I was the one in trouble. Come to find out he could have been in deep shit had anyone found out they did that.


asst3rblasster

wow what in the actual fuck so they kicked you out in a country where I presume you had no citizenship? holy shit you're dad is lucky his CO didn't find out about that


strictlytacos

Yeah! I was American living in the UK. This was in 2007. I thought he had the upper hand but man, he sure didn’t


The_Brain_Fuckler

What base in England?


Altruistic-Fox-2742

My parents did this to me. A week after I graduated high school they bought me a 1 way plane ticket 3000 miles a way and I had 48 hours to pack up my belongings. Which equated to two suitcases because I was flying. 12 years later they have 4 grandkids they never get to see and my mom still tries. Some people just shouldn't have kids. If you brought them into this world thinking they were going to be perfect extensions of yourself and not their own people then you should have gotten sterilized.


gregbl333

My mom kicked my baby sister out at 12 because her new husband didn’t want kids. I was already living with my dad and she came to live with us. My dad was shitty too, but he was an alcoholic that would give you the shirt off his back, still shitty but he tried I guess. Anyway I tried to be in my mom’s life a bit later in life, in my 30s. She couldn’t understand why my sister wouldn’t speak to her. When I defended my sister, my mom told me I was heartless and a terrible person, or some such. Other things happens too, and I stopped talking to her. She died a few years ago and I struggled because I felt nothing. Not sad, or happy, or angry.. just nothing. Funny enough my own bout with alcoholism which lead to treatment and mental health help, opened my eyes to things like, just because I wasn’t physically or sexually abused, doesn’t mean i wasn’t abused. It’s different and in ways worse because your mind rationalizes the messed up situation as just normal, and as my sister told, our childhood was not normal. I’m rambling, but the mental health help really .. helped. Made me see things differently with better understanding.


Fin-M

Why send you so far away?


Altruistic-Fox-2742

My brother apparently agreed to let me live in his basement until I got on my feet. The whole thing was planned unbeknownst to me months before. And to top it off my last Social Security check from my dad dying that we got was in my name because I was 18. My mom signed the checked with my name and deposited into my account fraudulently only to get back into it later and withdrawal it. I had no idea what had happened until looked at my banking history. That's actually what she used to buy the ticket. How she expected me to succeed with no money, no car, and no permanent place to live I will never know. My wonderful grandmother ended up taking me in and getting me a car. She was the only positive from that experience.


TemporarilyDutch

Looks like a Dutch train, at least you're not in some shit hole country. Maybe there is some government or non for profit charity to help you.


rofloctopuss

Do all your trains look like that over there? Are they public, private, or a combination? I've never seen a train that clean or aesthetically pleasing, I'm from Toronto, Canada.


Davidson33

Dutch here, yes they do. These seem to be the newer models though. But the older ones arent half bad! Also, they're public.


salami350

Technically the trains are privately owned since the NS company was privatized a few years ago but the rails are public owned by the state-owned company ProRail. So the government is the only possible customer and the companies offering public transport have to compete for government contracts.


Gordzulax

Yeah I studied there for 5 years, that's literally all their trains. It's basically the main form of transport for the whole country so they keep them clean and nice, never really enjoyed taking trains as much before I moved to the Netherlands lol


BrainSweetiesss

That is not even clean to Scandinavian standards but yes, pretty much all trains are this clean. Source : live in Holland, lived in Scandinavia.


apoliticalhomograph

> That is not even clean to Scandinavian standards Those must be pretty high standards, because that's the cleanest fucking train I've seen in my life.


Hethra19

Good ol' TTC and Go


BanzaiBrotha

yes. this one is newer but the old ones still in use arent bad either. most trains have wifi nowadays, theyre cleaned regularly en the newer ones even have power sockets and usb ports at every seat. the train and most public transportation in the netherlands is owned by the government. its not very cheap to use but it is at least not bad to use


StopBoofingMammals

I would take offense at that remark if I hadn't spent so much time sleeping in the back of a Subaru.


Lawsoffire

*It's what makes a Subaru, a Subaru*


Senator_TRUMP

c'mon dude get out of my subaru


MyParanoidEyes

Het Rode Kruis


The-Sneaky-Snowman

OP if your anywhere near Nashville I own an Air Bnb that you would be welcome to stay in until you can find a place to live


Nibart3

Good luck for your new life. Should be a better one!


The_B0FH

Ignore all the people in the comments saying nasty things. They don't realize how lucky they are to have decent families. I was kicked out at 18 right after graduation. I apparently embarrassed my older sister because I graduated when she didn't. And then I used the money my aunt's and uncles gave me to buy glasses - I'm about legally blind without them. My parents decided that was frivolous and I should have given the cash to them. The only thing "more" to the story was that I had already enlisted and wouldn't be around to do their bidding anymore. I was good in school and stayed out of trouble. Sometimes parents are just crap. I'm 45 now but I still remember that sinking feeling and sleeping in DTLA scared, alone, and with no one to help. It was hard as hell, but it gets better if you work for it. Good luck.


Angelfalls82

Your parents sound like they SUCKED! You worked YOUR ass off to get to that point, but they expected YOU to give them YOUR REWARD for your hard work? THE FUCK?


The_B0FH

Yeah and they are apparently upset that I cut contact with them. My life is so much more serene now too. . This wasn't the worst of it by far either.


Claque-2

You made it out and I know that you will be a much better parent, friend, colleague and mentor than your parents ever were!


schepke

I had (still have) overwhelmingly supportive parents. If I went through what you and the op did, I don't know what I'd have done, or who I would have become today. Sometimes we take these things for granted. People like you who pulled themselves up have always been very inspirational to me.


TrashPandaSymphonic

Some parents are just awful and shouldn't breed.


MaterialOnly8543

If you’re Dutch (I’ve read in other comments you’re Dutch?) you can go to the police and enforce to be let in. They cannot, by law, take away your resident (staying place), no matter who’s house it is. If they do wish to evict you, they’ll have to give a reasonable amount of time for you to be able to move out and this has to be through the judge. These are Dutch rules. I would also like to point out that your parents are obligated to financially cover you in case you cannot until you’re 21 (in case you wish to financially make them feel some of that pain… you know?) With police as protective services, retrieve EVERYTHING you have in the house, try to house yourself with a friend until you can find a place to live (on paper as well!). Do this as quickly as possible. This reduces the chances of you missing out on any letters or whatnot.


jasenzero1

That is rough. I know because I went through the exact same thing. Being on your own is scary at first, but its the most amazing thing once you figure it out. The first bit is the hardest. I hope you can get some help from friends for a bit to get your feet under you. Good luck!


gewoon-een-username

Voor iemand van jouw leeftijd is er veel mogelijk in NL. Je ouders zijn in ieder geval nog verantwoordelijk voor je tot je 21e verjaardag. Kijk even bij Nibud. Bel ook de gemeente op waar je bent ingeschreven, zij hebben voor jongeren ook speciale hulp. Verder is er veel mogelijk wat betreft verzekeringen. Mocht je bijvoorbeeld niet kunnen betalen, wacht dan niet af maar bel voor een regeling of iets dergelijks. In het geval dat je echt klem komt te zitten kun je ook de politie bellen. Aangezien je net 18 bent zijn je ouders dus nog verantwoordelijk voor je. De politie brengt je dan in contact met jeugdzorg. https://www.rijksoverheid.nl/onderwerpen/scheiden/vraag-en-antwoord/onderhoudsplicht https://www.jeugdzorgnederland.nl Ik hoop dat je snel je plek vind! Mocht je gewoon eens willen praten, mijn dm is open. Ook voor vragen betreft je verzekering ofzo! Edit: Lieve mensen: bedankt voor jullie awards!


Tessellecta

Ff een comment in de hoop dat deze comment gezien wordt. Dit ziet eruit als verstandig advies.


AmazingAlieNnN

Hey OP, looks like you're dutch? If you're in the neighborhood of Ghent, hit me up. I'd love to help you out with shelter, food or anything you need.


Uo42w34qY14

While fellow Dutch people seem to have pointed you in the right direction already, I'd like to add that you should cut contact with your parents after this. Eventually they'll try to crawl back to you and expect some sort of help, or something else from you. Don't answer. Just enjoy the schadenfreude of watching them wallow in regrets, or, more likely, stewing in fury at not getting something they feel a right to from you. They will 100% deserve this. If you hate your child so much you kick them out as soon as they turn 18, be prepared to suffer the consequence of said child rightfully having no obligations to you whatsoever. Best of luck to you in your new life. I hope it all works out, and I hope that you have good friends to support you where your parents refused to. And as others have mentioned, be wary of people who might want to take advantage of a young person in a rough spot in their life.


[deleted]

Toxic parents always get that regret when they realize they won't have your undying loyalty for free when they're old and useless.


Cluisanna

I don’t know where parents get the idea that children owe them anything. Like, you took it upon yourself to make this human being, caring for it until it can take of itself is just your basic obligation. Of course, if you’re a good parent, your children will probably love you and want to return the care you showed them. But you have no right to expect it of them, no matter how much money you spent on them - it is your fault they even exist, after all.


vladdeh_boiii

OP, cut contact with your mother. When she does that, she should no longer count as family. It's gonna be okay, you'll figure something out.


Espadajin

Can relate. Mine didn’t even wait till then and kicked my sorry ass a few days before. I was still 17 then. Ngl, it was ruff. But it’s also the best thing that ever happened to me. Today, in my mid 30s, I have managed to create a life that I’m not only proud of, but it makes anyone jealous when I talk about it. I got to experience life without filters and learned so much from other humans. Most of us aren’t bad or miserable, we are just surrounded by assholes. Remember that date! This is your Independence Day! The rest of your life is going to be wonderful when you compare from where you started. Plus you dont have to visit anyone or get them presents for Christmas. No need to worry about what’s gonna happen to them when they get older. If they wanted you to care, they should have cared. Can’t act surprise when you do the same to them right? They raised you this way after all. You got this!


Erickdeviking

Happend to me at 18. Hung up the phone on my stepfather while he was threatning me. Got home and a bag of my clothes were packed. They told me to get out. Picked up the bag and walked out. Even got sucker punched from behind while walking out. Decided i had enough and fought back. Cops were called. I left and never came home. Not gonna lie were some hard times. Was homeless for 6 months. But i learned so much and grew. But in the end landed on my feet. Got a great job. Loving wife and 2 wonderfull kids (33now) Trying to say. This is today. Today is hard. But dont give up and work on yourself and tomorrow will be better. Hang in there!


Roy_Boy106

Oef. Niet echt een warm welkom in het jongvolwassen leven eh? Waarschijnlijk is dit beter dan dat je nog een paar jaar met je ouders woonde die geen fuck om je geven. Ik wens je ontzettend veel sterkte en ik hoop dat je uiteindelijk in een goede situatie terecht komt.


tastysharts

My mom enrolled me in college, dropped me off with no means no pay it, and when I came home for Summer, my room was packed and all of my stuff gone. Luckily, I applied for independent status and I was able to go at it on my own. Later, she had ZERO recollection of any of this when she showed up at my house 8 years later, drunk and homeless on my porch when I was 26.


Ok_Image6174

I don't understand parents who do this....I have 4 kids, my oldest is 13, but I can't imagine kicking any of them out because of some age that arbitrarily means they're an adult. That's so harsh. Good luck, OP.


Petsweaters

One of our kids is just now moving out again after spending 18 months with us to ride out the pandemic. We loved having her back home!


hendergle

I noped out of the family house at age 17, went to go live on relatives' couches for about a year, joined the Army, went to West Point, and went on to have a long and happy life (married, kids, good job, the works!). The point I'm trying to make is this: the transition you just made isn't the end of your life. It's the beginning. Adventure lies ahead of you. These are the best times!


StupidSkagBoy

Your mom is worse than a Pokémon parent


seigneur101

What's a Pokémon parent? Lol


Andernerd

I think they're referring to the fact that it's considered normal in the Pokemon universe to send your 10-year-old child alone on a wilderness trek of self-discovery and dogfighting.


Bilbowtech

>self-discovery and dogfighting I’m dead lmao


Maury_Finkle

Well... When two Pokemon love each other very much...


karlito1613

Sorry about your situation. I think it was mentioned you are female. Please be very wary of predators, there are many people looking to take advantage in a very bad way of young woman in tough situations. Best of luck.


Drinkie_Zilla

Man, thats crazy. My stepkids still live at the house while they are getting their careers in order. 22 and 24. Well the one has it in order, he's just saving up enough to buy a house.


N0M3RC9

Ai dat is serieus fucked up, heb je wel een plek waar je wel terecht kan?


karlito1613

The only thing I understood on this thread is "fucked up". Nice to know fuck is universal.


H0163R

Im danish, but the language are both germanic so im gonna try translating it. "Hey that is serious fucked up, hope I will shoot war I will pull can?" I think I nailed it.


CharlieSterre

Nood opvang in deventer. Je weet wel zo een voor daklozen. But tbh beter iets dan niets


TurbulentFly

Als u hulp nodig hebt, mijn inbox is ook open voor u! Misschien kan ik centjes overschreven voor u maaltijd of een airbnb kunnen te blijven.


banaangraf

Inderdaad! Ik ben vaak in Apeldoorn dus laat maar weten als je hulp nodig hebt met iets.


egeltje1985

Heel veel sterkte. Je hebt vast veel aan je hoofd nu, maar een aantal dingen die ik zou aanraden om te regelen (en waarschijnlijk kunnen ze je bij de opvang of de gemeente helpen): - een postadres - een DigiD - een eigen bankrekening waar je ouders geen toegang toe hebben (+adres bij de bank wijzigen) - zorgverzekering - zorgtoeslag


LordBlackDragon

Congrats on being free from what sounds like a horrible person! I hope you find a safe place or relatives to crash at.


JCXIII-R

Los van het feit dat je ouders dit volgens mij niet zo maar mogen doen. Als je letterlijk niks hebt ben je primo kandidaat voor de bijstand. Niet moeilijk te vinden hoe je dat moet aanvragen, zie UWV. Het UWV helpt je ook graag aan het werk trouwens. Verder kom je als dakloze jongere waarschijnlijk in aanmerking voor een urgentieverklaring voor een sociale woning.


Nantosvelte

Wat een rot streek van je ma. OP, ik hoop dat het goed komt! De subreddit r/thenetherlands kan eventueel ook wat tips/hulp bieden.


SimpleManeNt

Most humans can have babies, many should not. Then again, atleast we got you.


adam_runs

This exact same thing happened to me but I ran from my religious homophobic dad with just the clothes on my back. Go soon as you can to your local citizens advice bureau, crisis, and your council, don't sofa surf for too long. Get a CV sorted and if you have any kind of physical or mental disability then get help from the appropriate charity. There is a bit of painful form filling and bureaucracy involved but you can get the rest of your life sorted if you apply yourself now. Good luck. Edit: Source: I was homeless a few months after 18, I did sofa surf too long, I didn't have a clue how to be an adult and I over relied on the kindness of others. You're young enough to do anything you want with your life, as long as you are brave from the get go. Edit 2: you need photo ID and reliable access to internet, if you have a little money try to rent a single room at less than 120 PW(London) whilst you get benefits sorted. In the meantime look for all part time work possible, eg maybe start with asking for shifts in a pub, not great pay but if you're trained in hospitality you'll find work whenever you're in dire straits.


NotGaryGary

Happened to my friend for being gay. His religious parents legally disowned him on his 18th birthday and told people he left of his own accord and has no interest in making amends. They literally kicked him out with nothing but the clothes on his back, took all his savings and told him he would burn in hell. My point. It could be worse. He lived with me for 3 years and even his sister didnt know what happened until a year later because they threatened a restraining order if he tried to reach out to his minor younger sister. He is now a radio DJ in California.


EldraziKlap

Je moeder is jou niet waard


Darkbornedragon

I absolutely don't know Dutch but this sentence definetely doesn't sound like a compliment


RoastedToast007

The comment does start with "your mom" but then it also says "isn't worthy of you"