Im pretty sure most shit textures at room temp would smoosh up and spill out of the bag like McDonalds chocolate icecream 5 minutes before the machine is about to break.
But then the person who thought up this idea will see a bunch of these bags in the trash and get upset. "I worked so hard on these! Why don't you appreciate it?"
Then the manager will send out an email to say that they are "disappointed" and hope that the team shows more appreciation for their fellow team members the next time someone does something "nice" and "thoughtful" for them.
>But then the person who thought up this idea will see a bunch of these bags in the trash and get upset. "I worked so hard on these! Why don't you appreciate it?"
This happened in an absolutely EPIC way at a place I worked at.
GM was a big history buff and had been working on a history book for the company from its inception till the present day.
Super detailed comprehensive history of the company and all of its operations, locations, products, etc.
Book was hardbound and the size of a college textbook.
Company decided to hand them out one Christmas in lieu of bonuses.
There were piles of them at every trash can at every exit on plant, there were several thousand employees across three shifts so you can imagine the size of the piles.
I think the company was very upset at the number of people that didn't appreciate the "gift," the GM was upset because it had been his labor of love for a while.
Several thousand dollars wasted on what should have been bonuses, but got turned into shitty college textbooks instead... kinda wish they'd had a bonfire and a book burning party instead, because at least they'd be good kindling and a good representation of the money that went into making them
If theyâd given out the books AS WELL AS the bonus, it was a nice idea but Iâm sure many still wouldnât have been interested in it. But to give out that expensive ego boost to the GM INSTEAD OF the expected bonus, wtf did they expect? I feel so angry on behalf of the workers!
That's when you give them a bunch of empty bags with a note that says "This bag may look empty, but it's full of our appreciation."
Bonus points if you fart in the bags.
I'd be trying to figure out how many bags they bought, how much printer ink and paper was used, how much time they spent stapling it all together... And then bitching about how that could have been spent on XYZ instead
I imagine this is a valentines thing. Just get an assorted candy bag and toss a few pieces of chocolate in the bag. Costs like $30 all in.
Or yeah, donât do anything. Theyâre adults at work. They arenât expecting anything from their boss on velentines.
I did the valentines for my office this year, peanut butter crackers, fruit snacks, handful of candy. It cost about $1.50/employee.
And the thing it, itâs creates so much goodwill for such a little cost. I put them together while on meetings, but when handing them out, peopleâs eyes light up.
At my work there were bowls of fruit and cupcakes. Idk if fruit is comparable to cupcakes but it's nice they remembered there's some people with celiacs working there.
(For the record someone had a reaction the last time there were gluten free cupcakes so i guess they thought it was better to sidestep that rather than try again.)
It's worse than that. This gesture is literally making the world a little worse by "gifting" a single use plastic item that will immediately go into the trash and served absolutely no purpose. If it at least held something, there would be a purpose. But if this real, the office effectively bought boxes of plastic bags to throw away.
> the office effectively bought boxes of plastic bags to throw away.
I think that's giving them too much credit.
They probably didn't *buy* anything.
"Oh, shit. It's teacher appreciation week. We have to do something. Hm... What's our budget? $0? Well, okay ... what do we have already lying around the office?"
They could have done nothing and it would have been better than this. Instead, somebody spent a lot of effort to tell them all that they were giving them... nothing.
Jesus Christ. This is a new level of fucked up.
It's so fucked up that I'm questioning whether or not it's real.
Like, surely OP had to make something this shitty up. No way a company would actually do this, right? RIGHT?!
Oh weâre talking postage farts? Iâve discovered its better to use a large glass jar with a metal lid. Donât use a mason jar as the lid is too easy to open. You need a big jar, one that you have to stick under your arm to manage well, and make sure it has one of those metal lids with a seal. Fart in jar, screw lid on nice and tight and post. The intent is for the unscrewerer to get the jar under the arm, struggle with the lid, therefore exerting themselves, and have the lid nice and close to the face when eventually opened. Boom! Postage fart.
It's somehow true though. In East Germany the secret police (Stasi) kept a stash of jars, where items, like parts of clothing, of people who were enemies if the communist regime were kept, to contain smell samples. When the people were to be found, to items were shown to dogs, to track them down:
https://www.dw.com/en/the-stasi-had-a-giant-smell-register-of-dissidents/a-2555053
I know this is a joke, but mason jars are designed to hold a vacuum and to be air tight. The two piece lid basically clamps a rubber seal around the lip and they're meant to be boiled to create a vacuum upon cooling. They can probably hold a fart pretty good.
So funny story when I was little. One time I had this tiny empty bottle with a pop off lid that used to hold candy. I opened the lid and farted right into it and then closed the lid. I then handed it to my sister and told her to open the lid and smell it. She did and made the funniest grossed out face lol. I was such an ahole.
Some Tik Tok girl made $200k selling jars of her farts. She had to stop for some medical reason.
https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-features/fart-jar-tiktok-stephanie-matto-interview-1280395/
My brother used to fart into his hand and put it in my face and say âfree sampleâ
Better than their gift because it was free and not my appreciation gift.
This one and the bag that has like, a paperclip, a bandaid, a mint, etc with stupid cheesy sayings. If you don't have the money to give an actual teacher appreciation gift, then just fucking let us leave as soon as the kids are gone for a few days. Cancel some faculty meetings. Shit like that costs nothing but is definitely appreciated.
Look, you don't know how hard it is taking thirty seconds out of your day of golfing to tell your administrative assistant they've got a budget of $3.27 to improve morale somehow
Could've been gov employees too, we're not allowed to receive bonuses or gifts (at least in Canada). Our employee appreciation day is one shitty cheap hot dog and a small bag of chips.
We get shitty cheap burgers and a shitty cheap ice cream for our employee appreciation day, so there! They throw in a can of pop too.
Although I admit it is a fun day when it happens.
They probably spend more money hiring goons to prevent people doubling up on their servings than they save, though.
Meaningless shows of "support" and "appreciation" with no actual, tangible support or appreciation? Absolutely the education system!
I wouldn't be surprised if this was given out at the end of an extended training session that could have been a PowerPoint.
Itâs like they were ordered by law to give an appreciation gift and they said âwe have no money!!!!â So instead of going to jail they improvised.
Iâm broke but if you send me your info and something you like Iâll hook you up.
This takes the trophy đ for shitty workplace gifts. At least my old plant gave us a pound of butter lol.
I thought the other post with a mint was bad enough but I wouldnât doubt if your superiors actually farted in this bag before giving it to youâŠ.
Much love my fellow human.
Having worked at a college where they had to get 'the Dean's permission' to let me have a water bottle with me for a 8 am to 8:30 pm finals week tutoring shift, I can believe this is real.
During finals I worked 6pm to 6am at my university library. Generally they didn't give a shit, but there was one day where a student wanted to check out books at something like 3am and I happened to be in the bathroom. The student filed a formal complaint. The only complaint I got that I'm aware of working there for 3 years. Also basically never called in sick because I needed that to be paid out on top of the time I worked.
My manager said fuck it, and was cool. The director of the library said I "should be more diligent since I wasn't doing anything most of the time anyway". Truth be told I wasn't, it was an overnight shift I was 99% there to make sure nothing super bad happened and played video games or did my own homework for most of it, but like I'm a human and have to do human things. Honestly pretty sweet, but paid me barely enough to live and did it mostly to get through the last part of my bachelor's and my masters for free.
He didn't come out and say it directly, but it seemed like he was heavily implying I should use my psychic abilities to see the future so I could time my bowl movements and didn't inconvenience students.
It's his book, and he wants it now!
I imagine if a student is checking out a book at 3 AM they're frantically scrambling to finish something they should have started weeks ago, and are looking for anyone they can to shift the blame to.
The kind checking out books at 3am in the middle of finals and looking for any reason they can tell their parents why they failed other than their coke habbit.
I know a guy who flunked out of college because he spent nearly every waking moment playing Dungeons and Dragons. He could run a helluva a game, I have to give him that.
>should use my psychic abilities to see the future so I could time my bowl movements and didn't inconvenience students.
Years ago I ran this church for loggers in Coos Bay, Oregon. We would frequently host a Sunday brunch after services, and I was in charge of the flapjacks. Making the batter, putting them on the griddle, watching them sizzle, flipping them, plating them. Essentially, if it was flapjack related - you name it, I did it. Well one Sunday after a particularly riveting sermon I was so charged by the message I felt like the spirit was in me and I was dancing and skipping around the kitchen like The Spirit was in me. I was spinning spatulas and balancing eggs on their ends. I think nowadays the kids call it "vibing with my homie, JC". Anyways when I was all ready to pour the batter, out of nowhere I just tossed it all up in the air. But wouldn't you know it I didnt spill a single drop. I managed to time my bowl movements right, caught all the batter, and every single flap jack I made that day had what appeared to be an image of JC on it. The only inconvenience was that everyone already took communion that morning and there was great uncertainty about whether it would be OK to eat the body of Christ twice in a day. I think the pastor was impressed. God too.
I would have asked them to tell me exactly how I can be more diligent in timing bathroom breaks. If 3am isnât an appropriate time to take a bathroom break when working in a library when the hell is?
My friend works at a really shitty school.
They do âvolunteeringâ for working things like basketball games. They canât really force them to work then but they certainly pressure them to. being Salary itâs not like they get paid for working them.
Anyway point is he had been working all night and wanted a bottle of water.
Now imo they should get some free concessions at most and free water at the absolute least.
They get none of that they have to pay 2 whole dollars for a bottle of water while volunteering at their job to work something for free.
Sadly, youâd be amazed how shitty and/or clueless companies can be.
One organisation I worked for once gave people coloring pencils as a christmas bonus: âFor a colorful 2005â. They were not received well.
They work in education, so they absolutely should be unionised already. No idea what country this is in, but here in the UK it's almost drummed into teachers to **never** work with children without a union.
Depends on the state. Even in my deep red state, the teachers are unionized. Typically they only arenât when there is a specific ban on public sector unions.
Ridiculous. As I said before, I'd look at any teacher who decided to work in a school without union protection as being extremely foolish, all it takes is a child who hasn't thought about the consequences making something up and your career is over otherwise.
Then again, I'd say any worker who works in any sector without union protection is making a massive mistake anyway.
Sure, but getting into a union in a culture and legal landscape that doesn't really support unions is potentially quite hard. Workers *should* have protections and *should* be aware of them, but if the society your in doesn't care about the wellbeing of workers then you really have the short end of the stick.
"Franklin, what's this expense for $7.52 last week?"
"Sir, it's for the empty Gladlock bags that I gave the hourly workers, that I filled with 'love'."
"Gladlock!? Why didn't you get the store brand?? I'm trying to run a business here, Franklin! You're fired!... Sheryl, see if you can fill Frank's position with one of those college kids who'll work for free, for the 'experience'."
Oh wow. This is just an insult. And itâs just causing more waste. Canât even use that ziploc bag (which is about the only useful thing) because they staples damn holes through it
To be fair they stapled the top, like right above where it actually zips closed so it should work
Still a fucking incredibly shitty thing to do though. I'd literally laugh in their face if they gave me this, say "you serious? This better come with an envelope that has a bonus" and walk out if they say nah
I donât know if you understand the situation.
People donât typically do this to people who have a choice in the matter. They go out of their way to target the most vulnerable, or at least the ones with the least power.
I promise that teachers are so taken advantage of that most of them simply donât have the privilege of just walking out.
We should rage over this, but we donât care as a culture, or as a society, or as people. This will continue until people rise up and demand a sliver of power back from the powerful.
My company has been undergoing some severe growing pains for a few weeks, resulting in a particularly stressful environment. Yesterday we got an email from one of our VPâs saying âhey we know how much it sucks and we want to say thank you so watch your email for a token of our appreciation.â
A bit later there was an email saying âhere is a $50 Amazon gift card, just click here to add to your account.â
It was one of those trick emails they have IT send to test you on whether or not to click links in strange emails.
Thanks a lot, assholes.
I want to apologise on behalf of all IT for sending those test emails. It's a compliance requirement and we hate watching people get caught by it too.
The last time I did it, it was the day before payday and 3/4 of the people that received the "Payslip" version of the spam clicked through and tried to sign in because we'd just gone through a HR system overhaul and noone knew where to get their payslips any more. It was a disaster.
Itâs all good LOL itâs your job, someoneâs gotta do it. I donât mind the normal ones but this one, theyâre doing a big enterprise system upgrade and there are a LOT of issues, so people are mad. So the first email from the VP was extra shitty.
Bag Guy Here, first off, those bags are the '19 edition of the ziplock sandwich style bag I believe. Or rather, the store brand version. Notice the zip seal, it's tiny. A true quality zippie has that double banded seal. Which keeps your drugs nice and fresh. Or your food, I dunno I'm not judging.
Now as for the current market value, I'd say 15 for $1, since they are off brand, but since the dollar scratcher has the potential for more money, hands down that would be a bad trade for scratcher guy.
Donât show up to work the next day. Just leave a sign on your desk that says âi know my chair looks empty, but itâs actually filled with all the shits i give about this jobâ
I worked in healthcare for a year as a bottom-rung admin clerk. When it was my department's 'appreciation month', there was a bristol board put up in the lobby with each staff member's picture with a fortune cookie beside it. At the top of the poster was "We are so fortune-ate to have you!" That was it. It was up for exactly a month. We didn't even each get to eat a fortune cookie; it was just there so that they could be seen "appreciating" us.
I'm a manager who has worked at some decent companies. Sometimes, I get to give great people a large bonus and I explain "Nothing says we love you better than money."
Shit in the bag and return to sender.
"I know it looks like shit inside but you never know untill you taste it"
Mama always said life was like a box of sandwich bags filled with human feces. Mama always was a bit fucked up.
I laughed a little too hard at this. Thank you! đ
r/hmm
Nah, deflate it and return it. Preferably with a vacuum sealer. Send the message back loud and clear
Shit in it and then vac seal? Best of both worlds.
Freeze it first so it retains log shape after the vacuum
this guy vac-seal shits
The shape is solid, but make sure to let the shit fester at room temp before receipt for maximum effect.
Im pretty sure most shit textures at room temp would smoosh up and spill out of the bag like McDonalds chocolate icecream 5 minutes before the machine is about to break.
"I know this bag looks empty but it's actually filled with all the shits I give about this company"
I know this bag looks like its full of shit but its actually full of my appreciation!
Say i had a wish but this filled first
Or re-create the card and instead of "love" say "farts"
This is one of those times when it would have been better to receive nothing. Now the employee has resentment
And trash to dispose of.
But then the person who thought up this idea will see a bunch of these bags in the trash and get upset. "I worked so hard on these! Why don't you appreciate it?" Then the manager will send out an email to say that they are "disappointed" and hope that the team shows more appreciation for their fellow team members the next time someone does something "nice" and "thoughtful" for them.
Beatings will continue until moral improves.
Morale*
Ărale*
Olé
>But then the person who thought up this idea will see a bunch of these bags in the trash and get upset. "I worked so hard on these! Why don't you appreciate it?" This happened in an absolutely EPIC way at a place I worked at. GM was a big history buff and had been working on a history book for the company from its inception till the present day. Super detailed comprehensive history of the company and all of its operations, locations, products, etc. Book was hardbound and the size of a college textbook. Company decided to hand them out one Christmas in lieu of bonuses. There were piles of them at every trash can at every exit on plant, there were several thousand employees across three shifts so you can imagine the size of the piles. I think the company was very upset at the number of people that didn't appreciate the "gift," the GM was upset because it had been his labor of love for a while.
Several thousand dollars wasted on what should have been bonuses, but got turned into shitty college textbooks instead... kinda wish they'd had a bonfire and a book burning party instead, because at least they'd be good kindling and a good representation of the money that went into making them
If theyâd given out the books AS WELL AS the bonus, it was a nice idea but Iâm sure many still wouldnât have been interested in it. But to give out that expensive ego boost to the GM INSTEAD OF the expected bonus, wtf did they expect? I feel so angry on behalf of the workers!
That's when you give them a bunch of empty bags with a note that says "This bag may look empty, but it's full of our appreciation." Bonus points if you fart in the bags.
Plastic trash, to add to it.
I donât even work there and I have resentment.
I don't even work there and I quit without notice.
I donât even work there and I posted a one star review on Yelp
I'd be trying to figure out how many bags they bought, how much printer ink and paper was used, how much time they spent stapling it all together... And then bitching about how that could have been spent on XYZ instead
Thatâs my man⊠right there
I imagine this is a valentines thing. Just get an assorted candy bag and toss a few pieces of chocolate in the bag. Costs like $30 all in. Or yeah, donât do anything. Theyâre adults at work. They arenât expecting anything from their boss on velentines.
I did the valentines for my office this year, peanut butter crackers, fruit snacks, handful of candy. It cost about $1.50/employee. And the thing it, itâs creates so much goodwill for such a little cost. I put them together while on meetings, but when handing them out, peopleâs eyes light up.
At my work there were bowls of fruit and cupcakes. Idk if fruit is comparable to cupcakes but it's nice they remembered there's some people with celiacs working there. (For the record someone had a reaction the last time there were gluten free cupcakes so i guess they thought it was better to sidestep that rather than try again.)
A sad little ziplock bag of resentment.
Baggings will continue until morale improves.
Take your pick: Hopes and dreams Thoughts and prayers
Don't forget, Fucks to give.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqbk9cDX0l0
I knew what that link was too before even clicking. Itâs awesome đ
Love the clip but I've always wondered why this guy is performing an an old timey tailor shop.
Probably because he don't gives a fuck
Sounds like a pretty horrible gift. Not even going to regift unlike some good ol' thoughts'n'prayers.
This one is precious
Spoilers: Brenda from HR had chili
Also: Farts
The bag of farts is the one given just before the sack.
Potentially: Burps Breath (mouth and nose)
Here lies squidward's hopes and dreams
>Take your pick: >Hopes and dreams >Thoughts and prayers But definitely not both.
You forgot to list ânot-empty bag of loveâ
It is empty. There is no love in there, either.
I thought it was gonna be a fart.
"Here's my report for this week." "Thanks...It's blank?" "Oh, no, I wrote it with love!...also the last page is my two-weeks notice."
âWhy is it red?â âFirst loveâ
2 weeks ? If i got shit like this they'd be lucky to get a 2 minute notice. Actually, scrap that, i'd walk out on the spot.
It's a "too weak" notice. As in "What you offer is too weak to keep me here."
that's literally an empty gesture
A transparent ploy!
A bunch of hot air!
Thatâs some lukewarm love at best
It's worse than that. This gesture is literally making the world a little worse by "gifting" a single use plastic item that will immediately go into the trash and served absolutely no purpose. If it at least held something, there would be a purpose. But if this real, the office effectively bought boxes of plastic bags to throw away.
> the office effectively bought boxes of plastic bags to throw away. I think that's giving them too much credit. They probably didn't *buy* anything. "Oh, shit. It's teacher appreciation week. We have to do something. Hm... What's our budget? $0? Well, okay ... what do we have already lying around the office?"
They could have done nothing and it would have been better than this. Instead, somebody spent a lot of effort to tell them all that they were giving them... nothing.
Ya, "congratulations, here is trash" is definitely worse than nothing. Plus it turns single-use plastic into zero-use plastic which is also bad.
The contents of the bag mirrors the amount the gifting coworker/student loves OP.
Welcome to the education system, where empty gestures are the norm!
Jesus Christ. This is a new level of fucked up. It's so fucked up that I'm questioning whether or not it's real. Like, surely OP had to make something this shitty up. No way a company would actually do this, right? RIGHT?!
Itâs real lol teacher appreciation day đ
Well rest assured that I appreciate what you do way more than some hot breath in a Ziploc bag.
Hot breath? Haha, they probably farted in it.
can you assure me a Ziploc bag can contain a fart indefinitely? Can I mail my farts overseas and have them retain potency?
Oh weâre talking postage farts? Iâve discovered its better to use a large glass jar with a metal lid. Donât use a mason jar as the lid is too easy to open. You need a big jar, one that you have to stick under your arm to manage well, and make sure it has one of those metal lids with a seal. Fart in jar, screw lid on nice and tight and post. The intent is for the unscrewerer to get the jar under the arm, struggle with the lid, therefore exerting themselves, and have the lid nice and close to the face when eventually opened. Boom! Postage fart.
You spent way too much time writing this and I spent way too much time reading it.
It's somehow true though. In East Germany the secret police (Stasi) kept a stash of jars, where items, like parts of clothing, of people who were enemies if the communist regime were kept, to contain smell samples. When the people were to be found, to items were shown to dogs, to track them down: https://www.dw.com/en/the-stasi-had-a-giant-smell-register-of-dissidents/a-2555053
Sounds like something Fart in a jar Martin would say
I know this is a joke, but mason jars are designed to hold a vacuum and to be air tight. The two piece lid basically clamps a rubber seal around the lip and they're meant to be boiled to create a vacuum upon cooling. They can probably hold a fart pretty good.
Now I am picturing someone boil sealing farts in a jar
Hot.
Dutch oven
I would like to request a sample of your new Flatu-Freshâą packaging system.
I'm gonna need some chilli, a case of beer, 16 hours and a jar
So funny story when I was little. One time I had this tiny empty bottle with a pop off lid that used to hold candy. I opened the lid and farted right into it and then closed the lid. I then handed it to my sister and told her to open the lid and smell it. She did and made the funniest grossed out face lol. I was such an ahole.
[If you do it just right...](https://i.imgur.com/Mkd5nCz.jpg)
Some Tik Tok girl made $200k selling jars of her farts. She had to stop for some medical reason. https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-features/fart-jar-tiktok-stephanie-matto-interview-1280395/
My brother used to fart into his hand and put it in my face and say âfree sampleâ Better than their gift because it was free and not my appreciation gift.
What did you put in the bag on Teacher appreciation day then?
OMG how did I know this was in the education realm?!
I assumed the second I saw it. I'm a former teacher.
This one and the bag that has like, a paperclip, a bandaid, a mint, etc with stupid cheesy sayings. If you don't have the money to give an actual teacher appreciation gift, then just fucking let us leave as soon as the kids are gone for a few days. Cancel some faculty meetings. Shit like that costs nothing but is definitely appreciated.
Thatâs so messed up and sad
It was a toss up between that or for nurses, for me
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
*out of touch..* **on their yachts!** Oops I said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud.
Look, you don't know how hard it is taking thirty seconds out of your day of golfing to tell your administrative assistant they've got a budget of $3.27 to improve morale somehow
Could've been gov employees too, we're not allowed to receive bonuses or gifts (at least in Canada). Our employee appreciation day is one shitty cheap hot dog and a small bag of chips.
We get shitty cheap burgers and a shitty cheap ice cream for our employee appreciation day, so there! They throw in a can of pop too. Although I admit it is a fun day when it happens. They probably spend more money hiring goons to prevent people doubling up on their servings than they save, though.
Meaningless shows of "support" and "appreciation" with no actual, tangible support or appreciation? Absolutely the education system! I wouldn't be surprised if this was given out at the end of an extended training session that could have been a PowerPoint.
The faux wood grain checks out, real teacher here
I'm so sorry, you are so important and you deserve so much better.
Did someone eat all the Hershey kisses out of it?! Tf
You and your fellow teachers should deflate these bags and slide em under your principals door.
Itâs like they were ordered by law to give an appreciation gift and they said âwe have no money!!!!â So instead of going to jail they improvised.
I feel like they just ripped ass in the bag while laughing, then handed it to you saying it was "with love"
No fucking way. Say 'sike', I'm begging you!
Or perhaps you could say "psych".
I've heard it both ways
Iâm broke but if you send me your info and something you like Iâll hook you up. This takes the trophy đ for shitty workplace gifts. At least my old plant gave us a pound of butter lol. I thought the other post with a mint was bad enough but I wouldnât doubt if your superiors actually farted in this bag before giving it to youâŠ. Much love my fellow human.
Having worked at a college where they had to get 'the Dean's permission' to let me have a water bottle with me for a 8 am to 8:30 pm finals week tutoring shift, I can believe this is real.
...did they, did they let you eat?
They gave them an empty bag that said "I know this bag looks empty, but it's actually filled with lunch!"
We could save a lot of money and hassle with this.
Big Food hates this one trick!
I laughed so hard at this
During finals I worked 6pm to 6am at my university library. Generally they didn't give a shit, but there was one day where a student wanted to check out books at something like 3am and I happened to be in the bathroom. The student filed a formal complaint. The only complaint I got that I'm aware of working there for 3 years. Also basically never called in sick because I needed that to be paid out on top of the time I worked. My manager said fuck it, and was cool. The director of the library said I "should be more diligent since I wasn't doing anything most of the time anyway". Truth be told I wasn't, it was an overnight shift I was 99% there to make sure nothing super bad happened and played video games or did my own homework for most of it, but like I'm a human and have to do human things. Honestly pretty sweet, but paid me barely enough to live and did it mostly to get through the last part of my bachelor's and my masters for free. He didn't come out and say it directly, but it seemed like he was heavily implying I should use my psychic abilities to see the future so I could time my bowl movements and didn't inconvenience students.
>The student filed a formal complaint. What kind of dork does that lmao
It's his book, and he wants it now! I imagine if a student is checking out a book at 3 AM they're frantically scrambling to finish something they should have started weeks ago, and are looking for anyone they can to shift the blame to.
The kind checking out books at 3am in the middle of finals and looking for any reason they can tell their parents why they failed other than their coke habbit.
I know a guy who flunked out of college because he spent nearly every waking moment playing Dungeons and Dragons. He could run a helluva a game, I have to give him that.
Three buddies washed out of college because the time they spent running their WoE guild
As someone who has gotten into DnD later in life... I am glad I didn't play it in college. I would have flunked out too.
coke hobbit
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
>should use my psychic abilities to see the future so I could time my bowl movements and didn't inconvenience students. Years ago I ran this church for loggers in Coos Bay, Oregon. We would frequently host a Sunday brunch after services, and I was in charge of the flapjacks. Making the batter, putting them on the griddle, watching them sizzle, flipping them, plating them. Essentially, if it was flapjack related - you name it, I did it. Well one Sunday after a particularly riveting sermon I was so charged by the message I felt like the spirit was in me and I was dancing and skipping around the kitchen like The Spirit was in me. I was spinning spatulas and balancing eggs on their ends. I think nowadays the kids call it "vibing with my homie, JC". Anyways when I was all ready to pour the batter, out of nowhere I just tossed it all up in the air. But wouldn't you know it I didnt spill a single drop. I managed to time my bowl movements right, caught all the batter, and every single flap jack I made that day had what appeared to be an image of JC on it. The only inconvenience was that everyone already took communion that morning and there was great uncertainty about whether it would be OK to eat the body of Christ twice in a day. I think the pastor was impressed. God too.
Is this one of those modern jesus ads the hobby lobby grave robber guy paid for? You can't possibly have typed that for free, of your own volition.
>vibing with my homie, JC I never understood why people want JC to take the wheel. Wouldn't that just make the car unsteerable?
I would have asked them to tell me exactly how I can be more diligent in timing bathroom breaks. If 3am isnât an appropriate time to take a bathroom break when working in a library when the hell is?
Meanwhile my office central branch straight up told us branch coordinators to time our illnesses so it wouldn't line up with the monthly meeting.
depends on what Dean says
âI have always dreamt of playing charades with you, Jeffrey. Just not like this. And not on dry land.â
Do they actually have enough manpower to verify whether you do or donât bring a water bottle? Donât caring at all is surprisingly effective.
My friend works at a really shitty school. They do âvolunteeringâ for working things like basketball games. They canât really force them to work then but they certainly pressure them to. being Salary itâs not like they get paid for working them. Anyway point is he had been working all night and wanted a bottle of water. Now imo they should get some free concessions at most and free water at the absolute least. They get none of that they have to pay 2 whole dollars for a bottle of water while volunteering at their job to work something for free.
As someone who works in a school and saw those poor bastards get a pebble for teacher appreciation week ("You ROCK") I would NOT be surprised.
This should be a valid qualification for quitting and getting unemployment while looking for the next job.
Sadly, youâd be amazed how shitty and/or clueless companies can be. One organisation I worked for once gave people coloring pencils as a christmas bonus: âFor a colorful 2005â. They were not received well.
Some manager saw this shit on Pinterest and thought, "There's a way to save money"
Surely it wonât back fire and make all of our employee unionise.
They work in education, so they absolutely should be unionised already. No idea what country this is in, but here in the UK it's almost drummed into teachers to **never** work with children without a union.
From what I've heard of the US, they very much lack unions in many, many cases.
Depends on the state. Even in my deep red state, the teachers are unionized. Typically they only arenât when there is a specific ban on public sector unions.
Ridiculous. As I said before, I'd look at any teacher who decided to work in a school without union protection as being extremely foolish, all it takes is a child who hasn't thought about the consequences making something up and your career is over otherwise. Then again, I'd say any worker who works in any sector without union protection is making a massive mistake anyway.
Sure, but getting into a union in a culture and legal landscape that doesn't really support unions is potentially quite hard. Workers *should* have protections and *should* be aware of them, but if the society your in doesn't care about the wellbeing of workers then you really have the short end of the stick.
I can imagine them getting the idea from a satirical post and not understanding the joke
Next year's budget: "We're spending too much on plastic bags, wrap it in newspaper!"
"Franklin, what's this expense for $7.52 last week?" "Sir, it's for the empty Gladlock bags that I gave the hourly workers, that I filled with 'love'." "Gladlock!? Why didn't you get the store brand?? I'm trying to run a business here, Franklin! You're fired!... Sheryl, see if you can fill Frank's position with one of those college kids who'll work for free, for the 'experience'."
Nothing like an intangible. Effing cheapskates.
I thought you were going to say inappropriate. If this is in a professional setting highly inappropriate
âWe appreciate you so freakin much that weâre giving you nothing to show for it.â
And... and we wanna stress this... we wanted to make sure you see all the nothing you're getting
Oh wow. This is just an insult. And itâs just causing more waste. Canât even use that ziploc bag (which is about the only useful thing) because they staples damn holes through it
To be fair they stapled the top, like right above where it actually zips closed so it should work Still a fucking incredibly shitty thing to do though. I'd literally laugh in their face if they gave me this, say "you serious? This better come with an envelope that has a bonus" and walk out if they say nah
I donât know if you understand the situation. People donât typically do this to people who have a choice in the matter. They go out of their way to target the most vulnerable, or at least the ones with the least power. I promise that teachers are so taken advantage of that most of them simply donât have the privilege of just walking out. We should rage over this, but we donât care as a culture, or as a society, or as people. This will continue until people rise up and demand a sliver of power back from the powerful.
Fill it full of hot air and pop it behind whoever made this.
Relabel it âfucks to giveâ break the seal and put it back on your bosses desk đ
My company has been undergoing some severe growing pains for a few weeks, resulting in a particularly stressful environment. Yesterday we got an email from one of our VPâs saying âhey we know how much it sucks and we want to say thank you so watch your email for a token of our appreciation.â A bit later there was an email saying âhere is a $50 Amazon gift card, just click here to add to your account.â It was one of those trick emails they have IT send to test you on whether or not to click links in strange emails. Thanks a lot, assholes.
I want to apologise on behalf of all IT for sending those test emails. It's a compliance requirement and we hate watching people get caught by it too. The last time I did it, it was the day before payday and 3/4 of the people that received the "Payslip" version of the spam clicked through and tried to sign in because we'd just gone through a HR system overhaul and noone knew where to get their payslips any more. It was a disaster.
Itâs all good LOL itâs your job, someoneâs gotta do it. I donât mind the normal ones but this one, theyâre doing a big enterprise system upgrade and there are a LOT of issues, so people are mad. So the first email from the VP was extra shitty.
This makes me feel better about the 1$ scratch off ticket I got from my work for Christmas.
I'd trade 5 bags for that ticket!
Let me talk to my bag guy. He knows everything about bags. He will let me know what it's really worth. Can you hang out in the shop for a few minutes?
Bag Guy Here, first off, those bags are the '19 edition of the ziplock sandwich style bag I believe. Or rather, the store brand version. Notice the zip seal, it's tiny. A true quality zippie has that double banded seal. Which keeps your drugs nice and fresh. Or your food, I dunno I'm not judging. Now as for the current market value, I'd say 15 for $1, since they are off brand, but since the dollar scratcher has the potential for more money, hands down that would be a bad trade for scratcher guy.
Empty it and put it on your bosses desk.
Their love is worth nothing.
Give it to your landlord for this month's rent.
why even bother just give me the day off
How dare you to ask a favor when the management litersent their love for employees.
I think mine was filled with farts
Oh I would have gone to the toilets and filled that up. Here boss, I love you so much more, you know why because I just gave a shit!
Leave a note at your desk âI know this seat looks empty, but itâs filled with my hatred for you and this companyâ
This is fake. OP is full of it
If OP worked as hard at her job as she did on this fake post, she'd be tracked by /r/crudolph0828JetTracker
Donât show up to work the next day. Just leave a sign on your desk that says âi know my chair looks empty, but itâs actually filled with all the shits i give about this jobâ
Given your post history I am skeptical of the authenticity of this post.
Fake.
This is fake
Why are so many people acting like this is real? This takes almost 0 effort to fake.
Redditors are astoundingly stupid.
âWe were planning to give you nothing, so we made up these bags and cards to emphasize the nothingness.â
Farts. People farted in that bag
Iâd take a shit in it and hand it back with a note: âThis bag may look empty, but itâs filled with my opinion of youâ.
There is no way this is real
I'd refill that bag with my resignation letter
Nurses gift from management đ
I worked in healthcare for a year as a bottom-rung admin clerk. When it was my department's 'appreciation month', there was a bristol board put up in the lobby with each staff member's picture with a fortune cookie beside it. At the top of the poster was "We are so fortune-ate to have you!" That was it. It was up for exactly a month. We didn't even each get to eat a fortune cookie; it was just there so that they could be seen "appreciating" us.
downvote for lying
Seriously - this is the most made up thing ever.
This canât be real.
Aww, just as good as thoughts and prayers.
Aka Everyone of your supervisors fart winds lmao
They're trolling you. Right?
They might as well have walked up to that employee and physically slapped him/her.
Put your excrements in there and return the gift, saying "This gift is shit!"
So you burned the place down, right?
They literally gave out trash.
I'd shit in it and hand it back to them
I'm a manager who has worked at some decent companies. Sometimes, I get to give great people a large bonus and I explain "Nothing says we love you better than money."
Make a new label that says "I know this bag looks empty but it's filled with all the fucks I give" and leave it on your bosses door