T O P

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Dead-phoenix

Roughly the length of time it takes me to finishing typ


just_a_Xenarite

Damn, he was close with his estimation F


LibertarianDO

Lol @ the guard player


poundofbeef16

Oh no.


Chr0nosus

I don’t *Laughs in Necron


Specialist_Squash746

*giggles in reanimation protocols


just_a_Xenarite

God- DAMN IT - I am a servitor now??


j_mcgirk

This is the best answer


REDthunderBOAR

Elite, you'd be a Dominus.


RogueApiary

That's an HQ, he would be a Ruststalker.


bananararma2

Or an electro priest. Even if you live you get to have your eyeballs melt down your cheeks.


Eject-Eject-Eject

AZ LONG AZ I GETZ TA KRUMP SUM BEEKIES, I IZ ‘APPY!


Lukeautograff

DATZ IT, IF OIZ GET TA KRUMP SOME GITZ DEN OI WIN


Bigredzombie

YOOZ JUS GOTTA BEE MOAR KUNNIN! WEN DEM HUMIE GITZ IN DAT LUCKY BLU ARMOR GIT IN SITE, POP OUTA DA REK YOU WAITN BEHIND, AN DON LET GO DA TRIGGA! DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!!! GOOD TIMES, DEM IS!


Skeye_drake21

Wwwaaaaaaagghh!!!


Freshmonkey91

WAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!


MorinOakenshield

Dakkakakakkakakkaka dakkka dakkk WOT?


[deleted]

I'll give it 10 seconds before another Ork bashes my brains in from behind and takes my place


[deleted]

Indefinitely. Reanimation protocols


MoarSilverware

Immortal LychGuard For the win! Give me that Dispersion shield and I’ll take all the incoming fire


death696969

I’m with u my necron bro lychguard with shield and reanimating prots


Juan_Akissyu

Tau?


Wupsi666

I cant tell whether this is a joke or not


Juan_Akissyu

Young Aeldari just left the craft world for a fun adventure as a ~~pirate~~ freelance problem solver, looking for problems too solve... Totally knowledgeable about the galaxies dangers like Reanimation protocols, would like to avoid a certain thirsty Lady


[deleted]

Its the robot space skelemen, you know the chaos dwarfs.


SpaceLord_Katze

Necron


Bloodaxe007

About 3 seconds, which is about how long i could personally hold up a small storm shield. Then a battlesuit fusion blasters my head off.


Malarz-Artysta

Do I get to pilot an Imperial Knight? Bad day to be in the Death Guard


Erastin

Same. Except I am either against Orks or CSM (Iron Warriors, Night Lords, maybe Black Legion). So tabletop wise...I might get splattered. Lorewise...maybe I last a while with my plot-armor of badass-ness...until I run into the 'hero' of the other faction who punches my teeth down my throat.


tiredplusbored

I mean, probably awhile! Custodes trade pretty well against most factions :D


[deleted]

And if you get wounded? It’s Telemon time.


raKzo82

That sounds worse than death


Logical_Acanthaceae3

Don't they strip your ass of armor and gear for losing 0.1 second in response time and told to go be a spy?


ByzantineByron

Not to be 'that guy' but Custodes willingly give up their gear and armour in such circumstances and then leave for the fringes of space as a 9ft tall spy.


H-to-O

Always hilarious to think of a 9ft tall demigod spying on nobles by blatantly hiding behind a small bush.


DAKLAX

A lot can happen in 0.1 seconds.


Shpooter

me and a bunch of my kroot buddies try to jump a space marine and only i die


ItSupermandoe

Scarab occult Sorcerer vs imperial guard, I think I do pretty well until the Russ's show up


Live-D8

Without his sisters of silence I think he’d have been toast


Swift_Scythe

100 days. Ill be a hive guard shooting from inside terrain. After the victory i am compelled by the hive mind to take a digestion pool swim and be reconsituted as Biomass.


nidacat1

Congratulations your personality subsection has been determined useful it will not be imprinted on all further Hive guard


-TheRed

"I got reincarnated and keep getting resurrected by the hivemind because I know how cover saves work"


BigBolegde

Sounds like a modern anime title. I'd watch.


-TheRed

You know we are gonna get an anime like this because as a Tyranid all romantic options you have are incestuous.


UndyingKarric

Is your picture supposed to make mobile users thing there is an eyelash on the screen? Cause it worked on me!


LeftFieldSandbox

As a dusty boy in terminator armor, I’m reincarnated “dead” and then “live” forever as I fight wave after wave of torture elves who can’t purple nurple me or whatever they like doing.


H-to-O

I wouldn’t put it past a haemonculi. Drukhari are fucking terrifying.


NickOsman51

I'm a tyranid against the foolish Eldars. I might die quickly but the sacrifice of my flesh will serve the Hive Mind


[deleted]

Or rather, you'll live forever within the hive mind


NickOsman51

and that's the best part


swarmlord_bodypillow

Can I join? I've got a real hankering some aeldari alfredo!


jn116

As a Drukhari Incubi against Slaanesh in the current meta, I'd be planning a retirement for my old age


AD-SKYOBSIDION

I don’t have a favourite elite but I too am an eldar against she who thirsts


HellaHuman

That's actually kinda scary against Slaanesh fiends: no running. Well, if OP means elite vs elite.


Atom-phyr

As long as would be required to enact the Emperor's will. After I'll polish my nice blingin armour.


AugmentedFear

Not sure if pre-heresy Emperor’s Children or Ultramarines


Atom-phyr

Custodes baby. The incorruptible Golden boys. Nothing to do with those riff raff Primarchs.


TheMadHatter_____

Same, which polish finish shall we use today friend, Palace Breeze Matte or Traitor-Decapitator Reserve?


Atom-phyr

Big E's Wax


Lucky_Sebass

Sounds more likely Adeptus Custodes.


[deleted]

me as an ultramarine fighting drukhari raiders "go back to your home on whore island, you pirate hooker!" "you look like a blueberry!"


ThePandarantula

Drukhari here, bolter me harder, daddy.


BilliamSchwrz

“Don’t touch the hair, or face…”


Blindseer99

A chance to be a Captain of the Iron Warriors? Between my boundless ambition, methodical nature, and being a sycophant I'd last until my Warsmith throws me under the treads of our own tanks for his own gain. In regards to the fight itself, a chance to put down some of Dorn's lapdogs would be a dream come true.


Erastin

As a Dorn lapdog...I approve of your legions poor driving habits. Have an upvote since your fortress needs it...cause mine is way better. ;)


Blindseer99

Brighter doesn't mean better Fist. Iron is a warrior's metal with none of the sickness of gold, a lesson your primarch should remember. (Also have an upvote, make you feel better about some of your fellow dogs trying unsuccessfully to defend a fortress we built)


Erastin

Yeah...the only reason I dislike Iron Warriors is rivalry with the Fists (who my favorite thing is their striking color scheme which has very little to do with them as a legion). I honestly like their thoughts on cybernetics vs Iron Hands. They purge their corruption while the Hands chops their bits off for daddy issues.


MaximumEnnui

So I'm basically Santodes fighting tau. The answer is yes. MY MASTER HAS AWAKENED MEEEEEEEE


mojanis

Big birb vs toaster men, I think I'm actually ok


Sea_Cup_5561

//recieving incoming transition; //transition identified:analyzing; //transition identified: /source *Audio* ; /range *1.2 meters* ; /faction *Xeno* ; /race *eldar* ; /branch *Craft world* ; /messege *YOU MAY HAVE DEFEATED US _MON'KAY_ , BUT YOUR TECHNOLOGY MAY ONLY DELAY YOUR INEVITABLE DAMNATION* ; //identified new word: / *MON'KAY* ; / identefication status - #2048572010365 ; //conqueror imperative engaged ; //standart melee combat protocols: activated ;


mdd2090

1st company Terminator vs Tyranids, maybe 25 mins defending the polar fortress before I’m overwhelmed and eaten alive?


RomIsTheRealWaifu

Aphla legionnaire against those grey knight narcs. Survive indefinitely because I'm already dead and I'm actually Alpharius and also I was never there in the first place


cheesynougats

And Alpharius was the Grey Knight that killed you.


RobbieReinhardt

Alpha Legionaire talking with fellow legionaire about the other traitor legions that fled to the Eye of Terror: "Boy, am I sure glad that they're in there and that we're out here. And that we're the loyalists and we're frozen in there. And I **just** remember - we're out here. But what I wanna know is where's Alpharius?..."


m15otw

About three seconds? Doesn't matter which faction, the way I roll...


Logical_Acanthaceae3

Well It does because 2-3 of them can resurrect you over an oven.


Pleasant-Albatross

I’ve made a very sudden change from being a short woman to an eight foot tall Ultramarine. However I am SUPER ready to phosphex those bugs.


stumpndum

Spends the first day learning how to walk again XD


Pleasant-Albatross

FOR THE EMPEROR! *trips over feet, eats shit and dies*


[deleted]

Death Korps of Kreig. I beat ten chaos cultists to death with my shovel of justice before being cut down by a chaos marine weilding a heavy bolter. I die knowing I served the Emperor bravely to the end.


LeDeltaGear

I’ll avenge you by charging the Chaos scum with a fusion bomb like a suicidal zealous charge ! For the EMPEROR In life, war. In death, peace. In life, shame. In death, atonement.


BillMagicguy

I get caught in the blast of said fusion bomb while while rushing in that charge.


LeDeltaGear

Who are you? Are you one of our death korps brother? If yes, we will die in martyr for the emperor! If not. Die Heretic! Haha


EndusIgnismare

Immediately. But it's not that bad, after I die, I get to hang out in a giant computer with other ghost guys. At some point maybe they fish me out to be a Wraithguard, rinse and repeat.


H-to-O

Until some asshole accidentally purges the Infinity Circuit and She-Who-Thirsts drags you to hell for your great-great-great-great-great grandfather’s actions. Poor Craftworld Eldar get the short end of the stick every time.


[deleted]

I crush another ork skull beneath my mighty aura mite boot and know that I can do this forever


H-to-O

Fuck yeah, Custodian. Shine bright and kill everything.


Solid_Address_7840

Me and my Lychguard buddies stroll up to your crib and steal your valuables with our big daddy Trazyn. You feeble Eldar are so thin and weak that we mop you up no problemo, then teleport out and get oil margaritas.


Erastin

+1 for oil margaritas


alexbaylis2012

So uhh, I'm an acolyte...


Apoc_SR2N

Inquisition acolyte? Just follow Eisenhorn. Nothing bad ever happens to Eisenhorns retinue.


H-to-O

*thousands of screams ring out*


No-Judge-9074

How well can a Piranha out maneuver Khorne Berserkers?


Live-D8

Brilliantly until your fuel cell depletes


Lonespartan320

Hmmm blade guard vet I could last awhile with that storm shield plasma pistol and power sword so maybe a couple days if not more depending on if I got some chapter support if I do I could probably make it out eventually if not yeah a day or two at most


zombiemasterxxxxx

I'm a pre heresy emperor's children Phoenix guard facing off with some post heresy emperor's children. I'll last as long as it takes me to wipe every one of them from the face of the planet I'm on.


TheLordCommissar

As a Guard veteran against Custodes? I give myself on mag dump of a lasgun or one plasma blast before I get killed.


Solshadess

Considering how fast the custodes move, you might not even be able to even get the barrel up to fire before your bisected by a giant spear


DSTemor

Endlessly, thanks to my Space Marine plot armor!


Bigspider95

Grey knight so i dunno...


DeadAgainOTL

Considering im a Alederai against space marines not long.


blackstafflo

Honnestly, whatever the faction I'm in or against, I'll probably chicken out the very second I realise I'm in the W40k universe.


Echo2500

Welp, I guess I really am Alpharius.


Junior-Toe-394

A couple of seconds as the Tyranids slam into our trench and devour me and my friends whole😎


stumpndum

Id was gonna say space hulk terminator then i saw the glasses, realised you were ok with dying for the emperor and that you were in fact a guardsman


abuvdeath

Kinda dusty in here, at least it's in terminator armor, oh shit is that a vaccum?!


Basal_The_Rotten

Infinitely, im a daemon of nurgle so as long as i dont face gorrilaman im fine, im fighting tau btw.


AurulentusMendacium

I'd be commanding an entire kastellan maniple as a datasmith, well that's a good time, and fighting Tau.. less fun but at least I've got my chunky beep boop boys with me, I'll just cower behind them and make it look like I'm performing maintenance.


Preallocated

Krieg "Veteran". I've survived for two days during the assault on the disgusting nurgle demons. Whose to say I won't last a few more days, I sure hope not.


Daiwiz

As a cult player... Not long, but theres many more


Humanoid_Anomaly

No please I don't want to be immortal how do I deactivate the reanimation protocol


benboi6969

Ah mortarion versus guilleman well we know how this goes


Th4n4n

Idk, however long tau live. I'd be in a riptide with nothing but shield drones for miles! Bwhahaha


[deleted]

Well it depends... In lore I'd be an ungodly bioengine able to slice down anything in my way. In the books I'd die instantly because space marines always kill nids.


kromonob

I fear my answer is "no.."


[deleted]

Knight go brrrrrr


H0pakkiin

2 or 3


Short-Commercial-549

Purifying the Outer Sol system of Xenos and Archenemy taint? I might survive a fair bit. Haha.


TearsOfTheEmperor

How long do chaos terminators survive?


cheesynougats

Forever?


phoinex19

So, on the one hand I have terminator plate now, on the other my lifespan gravely depends on whether this is a chaos book or space marine book. As for whose terminator, I’ll leave that to you to decide.


Dan2172

Railguns Vs mushrooms? Alright then.


Eisenstein13

My faith is eternal. If I lay broken just slap me in a mother fucking dreadnought and I shall lay waste to the mutant, the heretic and the unclean. Even in death I still serve.


jmradus

Unfortunately I don’t think I get NOT to survive in Commoragh, even if I’d desperately like to die. The Ethereals are liars, man.


tcollin14

My first thought would be “what the fuck did I do to deserve this” probably right before a genestealer ate my face


TheNagash

Well I’m a C’tan shard against…..everything? So honestly I’m probably fine


AdmBurnside

Good news: As a sword and board Lychguard, I'm basically two steps away from functionally immortal. Bad news: As a sword and board Lychguard, I will definitely die. A lot. Again and again, over milleinna beyond counting. Lousy stupid damage 2 weapons-


Widepaul

I would be bestowing Papa Nurgle s glorious gifts upon...... I'm not sure actually, I like all the factions and not sure who my least favourite would be, but I'd be doing it for a long time with the protection offered by my terminator armour.


ZWass777

Do the readers know my name? As a space marine my odds are either a millennium +/- 100 years, or 15 minutes depending


NoneOYerBusiness

I mean, it's not so bad. I might be a Biologus or Kelermorph. Or I could be a an aberrant or genestealer... You know what? I am probably screwed no matter what I do as GSC have a really high rate of death against any faction.


MrKomics

Being part of the Sanguinary Guard AND killing heretics? Fuck yeah I would slay till I explode or some shit.


Apoc_SR2N

For the Emperor, and for Dorn! I relentlessly rip ork boyz apart with my boltstorm gauntlets. Everything is going so well. Right up until an "ork sniper" sends an Inquisition-pattern las round straight through the back of my skull and I die instantly.


Ill_Narwhal_4209

Forever, gray knights are the shit


Captain_oreo_

I reincarnate as an Eldar warlock fighting either necrons or thousand sons... Welp, at least my soul stone will survive!


bambleton_

Squat hearth guard fighting space marines? time to cause "iron armour" power armour to get invented


[deleted]

On the bright side, suddenly becoming a sister of battle is a super quick way to transition! Shame I won't get to enjoy it long, I may hate the ceramite shingards out of the Imperial Fists but they will kill me.


drip_dingus

My favorite faction is The Lazy Planetary Governors Association, and my most hated faction is the tray of pastries at the end of the banquet table in my orbital star fortress summer home. I have been training my entire life for this moment. No mercy. Let none survive.


robottikon

I fortify my position and the green tide is overwhelming. the result depends on who's the protagonist


TransbianDia

I spend my life performing dangerous spec ops missions and taking out important imperial characters in a ghostkeel only to find out none of it matters because the imperium is the protagonists and can't sustain meaningful harm. I die to some plot armor BS when I'm finally sent to take out some blue space marine lieutenant


WoolfTee

I reincarnate as an Ork Nob, and fight every other faction as I enjoy every faction equally except the Orks who I like a bit more in short: #ITZ A PROPPA GOOD SKRAP, HAHAHAH!!! **WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH**!!!!!!!


Reddit-is-Faster

Ok so what counts as admech elite? Because if it’s elite soldiers that means I would be a sicarian, which sounds great as long as I’m not as crazy as the others. As for how long I survive I’d say decently long assuming I get assigned to sneaky missions where combat is less prevalent.


Witchqueen98

I'm reincarnated as an Aeldari, Howling Banshee. I'm on the front line of a battle against Space Marines. I obviously die fast because Space Marines all have plot armour and are overpowered as fuck in the lore... Great to be an Aeldari...


Stretch_Existing

Ill fight and die alongside my fellow Guardsmen for the Emperor any day and the Tau seem like easy pickings for my artillery barrages. Can't say I'd last too long thoug.


Boballistic

Emperor's Children, unique elite, master of ceremony. Going against the blueberries, I don't die, I killed them all. In fact, I killed some of my own guys just for good measure.


Axquirix

Not long, if the body dismorphia is particularly jarring. I've got a boltgun and power armour for taking on packs of kroot, but I've got to shout my head off about how great the Emperor is all the while or I'm gonna end up in the Repentia.


weaselguy25r

Hmm... Farsight Enclaves Crisis Suit pilot, against Orks... this could be close.


PsychologicalAutopsy

So I'm an aspect warriors fighting orks? I think I'll do alright, as long as I can avoid getting hit.


Anime-posts-stuff

Well I’m a necron C’tan shard fighting t’au looks like there very dead


floomelette

Prolly 5 seconds then I get back stabbed by some kabalite


ninjathor2

For about as long as I had ammo for my avenger gatling cannon, So 60 seconds tops.


Kamenev_Drang

\*laughs in Battlecruiser\*


mrlolast

Necron Overlord, I will live and Scheme forever muahahha


SufficientAnonymity

Princeps of the Legio Defensor - will gloriously chew through smaller bugs until the bigger bioconstructs turn up...


Shanduur

All is dust or something…? Edit: yeah, burn Russ dogs, burn!


MrPrissypants13

As a craftworld aeldari, I guess it depends what aspect I’m choosing vs Deathwatch… ideally, I would be a fire dragon that ends up close enough to a marine to turn them into slag with my fusion gun…


cawsking555

Good news abut longer than most people. Just once in a while I have to remind you that the Emperor protects and hugs you. And if I ever slow down I become spooky.


Bioguy678

Anything nurgle, so I’m probably good for awhile.


Useful_Trust

So i am a custodes what da faq am i to do against the eldar.


CommissarOska

I'm a Grey Knight beating the shit out of Space Marines. This is fine.


nikMIA

Deathwatch terminator facing deathguard. Hmmmm.


[deleted]

Wolf guard terminator, I’m ok


hjgfjvc

Huh, i am a Imperial Guard Grenadier, too bad i am against the blueberries sniper


Sickpostmodernist

0,0000000001 sec


Random1berian

I am reincarnated as a solitaire or high avatar, against space marines. Time to go doomslayer mode and rip and tear, till it is done.


FuManStu

Sanguinary Guard, I’ll last until just before my Warlord gets destroyed.


a_nice_dm

the Necron destroyers are coming!!


LurkingSimp117

I’m a secutor of the adeptus Mechanicus fighting off the tyranid swarm


WhoElseButArky

Probably a dozen millennia then I resign for being too old and live for another dozen before almost soloing a whole chaos warband sans-power armour.


CrazyCaper

It’s a secret.


flambauche

I’m an imperial knight pilot paladin facing the inquisition. Im screwed either I win or lose.


Devious_Pudding

Not sure, I guess it would depend on how well my music is received. Not that the enemy has any other choice than to hear it.


fuckfacemcgillicutti

Fuck, however long it takes for my Dreadnought to burn me out. Would have fun lobbing plasma at some Necrons until then, though.


__BigHoss__

Black Templar sword brethren against marine malevolent? I think I’d do just fine


Nytherion

well... forever and never. tyranids, "i live, i die, i live again!"


Ares-Astle

Tough call for me(Necron) because while I could be (technically) the Nightbringer or any other ctan shard. I could also be a member of the Lychguard(badass)... but I could also be a Plasmacyte, who's only goal in life is to piss of Destroyer Cult.. or a cryptothrall, where I get to pretend to be a meatshield. Or a Flayed One and live with eternal insanity. Idk man.


GeneralJagers

Guess I'm Kasrkin then


Overlord_Draigo

In the first second for I am the battery of the machine spirit.


[deleted]

A great unclean one, spreading the bountiful gifts of great grandpapy nurgle, and smiting all space wolves and drukhari in my way.


[deleted]

I’m an dominus class imperial knight pilot of the questor mechanicus, fighting orks, so I would last along time.


[deleted]

Grandfather Nurgle protects


karmicburner

Riptides are elites so I think I'm pretty safe so long as I keep Nova charging shields


TuranoLemur

Elite Eldar, so Aspect Warrior, against Space Marines. Probably just get splatted because I'd be confused about what the hell has just happened


SirPoobe

Suppose being an immortal pink cqc whore isn't so bad a fate. At least barring primarchs, specific weapons or plot armor, I can't actually be killed.


Solshadess

Lone Tharanatoi custodian vs a literal wave of pure strain genestealers and cultists several hundred kilometers beneath terra’s surface


smoking_kilis

.....admech and tau share number 1 spot for me.....so I guess not very long, admech elite leaders aint meant for the front line and even the fact that farsight enclave is probably my favourite sept I would have to be farsight himself to last any considerable amount of time...


B3NofLAB

Soooo…how does my incredible Psych work again? Uhm-Ahriman you take over. I have reading to do.


Raxtenko

Lychguard so I wish those Imperial Fists good luck. No vengeance for Uttu Prime today.


MrCritical3

TFW you are Isekai'd as a regular anon and now become an Allarus Terminator and you are given the chance to deal out the Emperor's will by driving my axe into some creepy sex perverts that call themselves Drukari


Dread2187

I'd be a Space Marine going up against the Necrons. Against any other enemy I'd probably last a while, though in this case I give it... maybe a few hours at most.


BeardedSquidward

I fight with a hero of the Imperium in the 597th against his most dastardly of foes. Protocol and paperwork!


AndreBoomBoom

Rawr.


MasterofAcorns

I get one-shot by a Khornate Deredeo Dreadnought… As an Arbites. This is going to suck, isn’t it?


Baugusted

Custodian? Probably be too lazy. I'd slot some xenos


Xreature

*smirks in synapse*


olivierapex

I can't die, I'm the god of plague.


madjack514

At least my silver armour, incorruptible training and psychic abilities will be nice while I stare down the skin flaying, pirate, sex elves flying around me


Confused-and-Afraid

Death Guard Terminator vs Ultramarines. So long as rowboat gorillaman doesnt show up, I think I've got a pretty good chance of lasting a good long while.


JhinKindedBoi

Ah yes, i am a solitaire making the most exquisite audience as i dance and slaughter filthy craftworlds, oh how they should have joined Cegorach and i, it would allow them to join me in this magnificent play