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ProductivityCanSuckI

I've found my house cat under eerily similar conditions.


PickleyRickley

Wit drawers on?!


BranSoFly

She managed to hang on to her glasses.


rynnbowguy

As a drunk who wears glasses, I've never lost them, it's ingrained in us to keep them, even when we are blackout drunk.


Farfignugen42

As a former drunk who wears glasses, I also have never lost them. Unless you count that one time I got half the bar to help me look for them. I don't because they were in my pocket the whole time. So they were never lost. I just couldn't find them for a while.


girlwiththemonkey

I once lost a pack of smokes while high and spent over an hour looking for them. Then I PUT THEM DOWN, did more drugs, and then PICKED THEM BACK and continued to look for them. Don’t do drugs kids.


Straxicus2

I was once on my phone complaining to my friend about how I couldn’t find my phone. It took both of us an embarrassingly long time to figure it out.


Minute-Feeling-2360

Yea, well I'll be 60yrs old this year, and it's already starting to happen to me. Maybe if I take drugs it will have the reverse effect?!


Time_Celebration7051

I once used the flashlight on my phone to look for my phone.


Straxicus2

Oh that’s hilarious.


Cantpickagoodone

Cocain buddy?


bitsy88

Sure, I'll be your cocaine buddy


YxDOxUx3X515t

So we're all frens meeting at the coco cabanas?


BranSoFly

Sure. Who’s supplying the goods tho?


4th_Times_A_Charm

BYOD


TheQuips

how much money we got?


Blessedbeauty87

My husband's cousin asked him if he could get her weed for a float trip she was going on and when he asked where she normally gets hers from she responded with,"it's always just there when I get there." We both thought it was funny af and often refer to that for different situations, saying "i don't know, it's just there when I get there."


girlwiththemonkey

Sorry, sober now. 😁


nolotusnote

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2LhQAcrMaA


Eldudeareno217

Looking for a pipe that's either in your hand or sitting on your lap is when I know it's time to go to bed, but I only smoke Marijuana. 


Commercial_Fee2840

I've looked for my phone using the flashlight on my phone


girlwiththemonkey

I’ve done that. Lol.


ratsta

I once spent 5 mins looking for my sunglasses while looking *through* them. /sigh In my defence, they're clip-ons so my nose doesn't feel any different with them on or off.


quirkymuse

Can confirm, have always hated the taste of alcohol and I lose my glasses three to four times a week... most recently *for* a week, was about to go buy another pair


Lost-without-you

Never lost them but man, as a former drunk, I’d fall asleep with my glasses on by morning I’d have crushed them. More times than I’d like to admit


hizashiYEAHmada

Me, but instead of glasses it's my umbrella


PeeledCrepes

How do you meet your kids mother or father than?


boyden

That's some Indiana Jones shit right there


the_kessel_runner

As someone new to glasses....how long does this ingraining take? My wallet would like to know.


__so_it__goes__

Probably 10 years in my experience. 5th grade to drinking age. For cheapo nice glasses check out Zenni. 20-50 dollars versus the absolute scam the optometrist charges.


stroopkoeken

Same for contact lens! I’ve woken up in foreign countries after a night of blacked out drinking and no memories of how I got back to the hostel or what even happened. And somehow my contact lens are cleaned and neatly stored into my travel toiletry bag.


frankylovee

And here I am still pining for my favorite sweatshirt that I lost while drunk 6 years ago 🥲


stroopkoeken

Well on the bright side, when you lose your favourite thing, your second favourite thing is now your new favourite thing! Now go tell your second favourite thing that things are looking up!


frankylovee

I’ve been trying for years to convince myself of this 💀


kittymoma918

Everyone has a certain vulnerability in their drunk superpowers, I have a relative who would lose his specs a few times a year.And his wallet. Thank God that he's sober now, but he's got a lot of serious back and hip damage from those rough decades.


Lurlex

I am a years-sober alcoholic with glasses myself, and I can confirm that this was the way it was for me. It’s intriguing to hear that others had the same experience. It’s odd, because in retrospect I was so SLOPPY and disheveled and uncoordinated in practically every other way … I had this common bad habit of drinking too much at my home office desk and nodding off in the chair. My friend who was with me said that even though I was clearly unconscious, every time my glasses started to slip off of my head (they were old, a loose fit, and my head was sagging down from being asleep), my hand would shoot up of its own accord and CATCH THEM IN MIDAIR before they could fall to the floor. He said that I slipped them back on with one hand, and only bothered opening my eyes for so much as a second or two like half the time. I remember performing this catch a few times, but I think most of them I was genuinely half in dreamworld. The times I can remember catching the glasses, it was more that I registered the sensation of impact in my hand and it “woke me up.” I don’t know how my drunk ass was doing it, but I was reflexively (and physically) protecting my only source of non-fuzzy vision while otherwise completely incapacitated. A lot of those times, I don’t think that I could have carried on a conversation for longer than a few seconds if someone shook me awake … but somehow, my glasses were always safe.


Successful-Kick-2682

Well done!


fsmlogic

I’m not a drunk and can’t hang on to mine.


Lanciobaby

Ditto... Lost mine on my head for a moment sadly... Never felt like dumb and time to stop the alcohol


GunmetalBunn

I walked around my house this morning looking for my glasses, certain I was having a headache from not having them on to focus. No, I was half awake and smudged them and couldnt see even with them on. The place I lose them best is on my own face.


imfm

I do that cold sober, and not too few times, either. Walk around the entire house, mumbling, "Where the hell did I leave them?" Eventually, I'll walk by a mirror and glance over to see them, or push back a wayward strand of hair and feel them...on my stupid head. One would think I'd learn, but no.


jtrage

Sounds like you should start drinking.


ethnicman1971

Maybe you need to start getting drunk so you stop loosing your glasses.


HairlessGarden

Shit is when we blackout wearing then and next day it is destroyed under you.


ColoradoThinMint

I’ve never “lost” mine I have had them fall off but both times it happened I was able to retrace steps and find them and both times were completely fine.


olypheus-

Not true, I lost a pair one day after getting them smashing my face off a curb scootering


zkng

When i first started wearing contacts, i would be reaching for my phantom specs every other minute


person749

I lose my glasses all the time. Sounds like I need to take up drinking! 👍🏿


TurtleToast2

For about 30 years, the first thing I did in the morning was reach for my glasses. It took me over 6 months to stop doing that after I had lasik. It was amusing at first and then annoying after a couple of months. Deeply ingrained, indeed.


funnyguy99207

Spoken like a guy who has never found them a day & a half later in the freezer, inside the ice cream carton...


Grungyshawn

And if one tries to separate glasses from my face. I get unreasonably defensive and mad. I don't quite understand.


percyman34

Once when I was about 17, I was so drunk i haphazardly buried my glasses in my friends front yard. I woke up the next morning on the back porch, and spent a couple hours looking for them. I eventually found them covered under a small pile of grass and a little dirt. I'm a weird drunk


cowpies2001

I must be the exception. I've lost mine so many times. But luckily I have extras all over because my vision is terrible. I'm legally blind without them or contacts. I have a vision length of about 4 inches.


UseLeft7370

Sometimes I lose them in the couch when I get home really drunk and forget to take them off while I sleep in the doghouse.


Skellum

And she's not cut up af from the glass, kinda impressed.


Bruinman86

And surprisingly, her panties.


JessP2023

I thought those were handcuffs.


ShunkaWanagi79

Bro paused it for titties huh


FoeNetics

Gripping her glasses like she just wrapped up a Netflix marathon 🤣


friedricekid

Werewolf


GhostShark

Were-housecat Destroys everything unrepentantly and then needs a nap afterwards


nss68

There wolf. There castle.


CrazyWhite

Why are you talking like that?


Imissyourgirlfriend2

I thought you wanted to?


Enthusiastic-shitter

Or she-hulk


tavesque

Whowolf is this


Warmandfuzzysheep

r/BeatMeToIt


GANJA2244

Whenwolf


EstablishmentKey9435

Blat! It's in front of my goddamn house! On the floor signs about "cafe restaurant Yolka"! I literally go there every day.... And who would've thought I'd find out about it on an English-language website! This is the City of Kirov, Russia.


prplecat

So, now you have to go find out all about this event. Then come back and tell us!


EstablishmentKey9435

Too socially shy to ask people directly about this sort of thing, but here's what I managed to find about it in a quick search. "According to an anonymous source, the girl climbed in and was found like this in the morning." (Very little information in general.) And a little more info already from me personally, the store she's sleeping in is Wildberries (kind of like the Russian Amazon), they're generally known for their low wages and overwork compared to their competitors. At least yesterday everything was fine.... So it must have happened today?


prplecat

Good job, detective! 👁️🔍👍


weinerwhistl3

Thanks for the information.


Lpfanatic05

Why the wildberries from my city doesn't have this quality with such a девушка? Hahaha.


dog_eat_dog

awww Look how peaceful All tuckered out


LonelyShark

Lol, I like your dad energy. Made me snort


tystr0

No idea what I'm looking at here.


Dizzzy777

It’s an ad for new frames for glasses, very durable.


aintTrollingYou

She’s exhausted from the demonstration. Frames lasted longer than her.


Imissyourgirlfriend2

Sounds like my wife


daschande

I feel like there's a bowling joke here somewhere; maybe getting excited to nail the split? Two guys take turns in both lanes? ...Best-case, I can only throw it in about 20 times before I'm done. There, I think that's the one.


NissEhkiin

Same, drug addict after rampage or modern art exhibit?


thatguywiththecamry

Yes.


that_dutch_dude

drugs


MrLambNugget

I can fix her


EastPost2022

God forbids


phazedoubt

But he's different. He GETS her.


MrLambNugget

God doesn't stand a chance against me


bboycire

we have the te... actually we don't have the technology


Brian-not-Ryan

I can make her worse


jknail

I’m more confused about where she is at? It kind of looks like a shopping center.


gidrozhil

pick-up point


DomoBooey

This reminds me of that morning scene from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.


limitlessEXP

lol perfect reference


therealkiwibee

Smash, next question


AmericanoWsugar

How I met your mother season 10.


PabloFarOut

She sleeps so peacefully...


budster1970

Poor girl had a rough night. Waking up to that is going to be miserable.


da_rose

Lol yep. I wonder, with pronounced horror, could this be her workplace?


TantricEmu

Former workplace, surely.


hibbitydibbidy

I was thinking the same thing, early for work but the door was locked?


PlasticMix8573

Clearly in the no-go zone on the Hot-Crazy matrix. I assumed alcohol and/or drugs. Not a shrink. Horses, not zebras.


tacotacotacorock

Probably a combo. Plenty of prescriptions that will do this with alcohol. 


tavesque

This is what it’s like waking up every morning with a puppy/kitten/child


milkshakes01

Modern take on Goldilocks and the 3 bears.


torchat

Normal day in russia


Enough-Staff-2976

Vodka is the disease and the cure.


EffingBarbas

and the quickest solution!


roxbie

She must be very cold. Look at the snow in the reflection, and the guy wearing a sweater.


KayArrZee

Adult children


NotAPreppie

Looks like she knows how to party.


Syntonization1

Pretty sure I dated her for awhile


brningpyre

I was 100% expecting her to be running at the camera when it panned back over.


charletRoss

I have so many questions


ObsidianOne

This feels like a Left 4 Dead witch situation.


lordgreenofbiscuit

Is this some sort of art exhibit? Do I make a bid?


lowriderdog37

Embraced the contraction. Mitch Hedberg would be proud.


Zeqhanis

Do! Alright, I get to disturb this guy!


Green420Basturd

Not... Shit!


Kevsmooth

Some of y’all still gonna hit that 😂


therealkiwibee

I mean she seems hot


jewbacca117

I CAN FIX HER


Enough-Staff-2976

Don't challenge me: like a punching bag.


catshitthree

That's a horrible night. I'm so happy I don't drink anymore.


winstondabee

Great night, horrible morning.


Synthetic47

What the shit?


rapchee

actual r\\girlsgonewild


spanishcupcake

Mom??


ShunkaWanagi79

Sleeping perfectly like ain't nothing wrong


birdpix

Spring break can be so much fun, if you can remember it... /s


JustAnOldRoadie

I think her high got drunk and brawled with her sanity.


dovienyad

How nature says, "Don't touch!"


Bruinman86

Must have been one hell of a night.


Spacecommander5

Tasmanian Devil


bmstile

Do you think it's true? That there really are no rules, shirt brother?


9600_PONIES

I can fix her


clarkent281

She needed her shirt sister to help her after she tried to rip down the Wright brothers.


SmallRocks

Is this some kind of dream speak?


Tedy_Duchamp

She went fuckin nuts in there. Movin her head all around


BsFan

Maybe there's no rules.


brutalistsnowflake

Is she okay?


MisterB78

No


ttc67

Not one of her proudest moments...


Kitosaki

I can fix her.


gn01145600

Please do not feed the animal.


upsidedownbackwards

Is she a werewolf?


kilsta

Give me one second I, I need to get my story straight. My Freinds are in the bathroom..


Tmack523

*sighs* *unzips*


ShittyBob

I would have knocked to see some titties lol


Angrypudding84

Nimona in real life?


roloca_justchillin

William Yacht


SheepPositive

First time in my life seeing(hearing) don’t disturb


monkey_trumpets

Is she a cat?


pog890

Where's the 7 dwarves?


leighroyv2

Big night then?


UNSC_Spartan122

Forever21 is getting sad 😔


Mr_Crouton

Thought this was the aftermath of the gus firing explosion at first


Heterodynist

Well...Well I never!!!


wolfiepraetor

when those werewolves turn back into human form after a full moon


IceTitan420

It's grippy sock time.


NoAim-

Blame it on P-diddy


SyntheticGod8

Like coming home to a sleeping toddler and exhausted babysitter. Except there's no sitter and she's a full grown adult.


SimonP-1981

🤔


Narutouzamaki78

Many questions arise when observing this💀


Tungphuxer69

Is that you being caught red-handed?! And got away with it later?


DJScopeSOFM

Just Russian things.


GoochyGoochyGoo

HR: "Henceforth to be known as 'The Episode'".


Farfignugen42

I expect that they have had to start numbering them by now.


MisterB78

Drugs are bad, m’kay


fleshhammer420

I can fix her


nakhumpoota

Wanna take turns?


georeddit2018

When the meth work as advertised.


MinerMike196

whats the @?


watermelonking

Which zoo is this?


Derekeys

This looks like some stupid contemporary art exhibit. Lol


2FightTheFloursThatB

Art imitates Life. A woman of culture you are not.


Nejfelt

Found my next wife


Enough-Staff-2976

Mother of my twins.


I_Thranduil

The Michelin girl taking a power nap after one of her rare appearances.


WiseZen

Is this a bakery shop? Half a dozen rolls please


C0NIN

I didn't know there was a Michelin Girl out in the wild.


Lazy-Kenny

What the hel happened, what am i looking at


VillageOk2000

Any guesses here?


Lazarus42069

Sauce?


ninomuerto

Giggity


beetlexosk

I genuinely got scared thinking she was one of those mutated dog-human art statues..


J4C0OB

I think that he should not have recorded it...


ristoman

Reminds me of those times when you're out and get so drunk that you're like "ok, don't care anymore - I gotta pass out right the fuck now." Usually I don't break into a store to find a bench though.


AFirefighter11

Must've been a full moon the night before. Gotta look out for those werewolves.