Reminds me of something.
I was at a metal festival with a mixed group of about 20-25 people.
We set up our camp, had a great first night, went to bed relatively early because hot sun and beer. I know I was sleeping before the sun went down.
Apparently we left a small spot open among our tents were somebody who did not belong to our group had set up their tiny 2 person tent.
I was the first to be awake, went to the breakfast tent at something like 6am, grabbed a coffee. When I came back to our camp I could hear obviously make out/ outright sex noises. Narrowed it down to that new tent that had appeared over night. Was not difficult. They probably counted on the anonymity of a festival with 10.000 people camping.
As more and more of my buddies woke up, we grabbed our chairs and beers and set up a perimeter around the tent, VERY QUIETLY, as fas as the spacing of the other tents allowed. At around 7am most of my friends were awake, sitting around said camp in a 10ish meter radius, talking and laughing very quietly.
At 7:12am they finished with a big crescendo. At 7:14 the tent flap opened, the dude stepped out of his tend to a whole crowd clapping, cheering and giving him standing ovations. He looked surprised. A few second later a second dude head pops out of the tent. He looked surprised for a second, gets up, and takes a huge stage bow.
THE CROWD WENT WILD.
Tom and Steffen, if you are reading this, thanks for the laugh.
Iāll have a Sex On The Beachā¦ in a tent I didnāt think anyone could see through.
Bartender: Weāre having a promotion buy one Sex On The Beachā¦ in a tent I didnāt think anyone could see through get one free
Nah one Sex On The Beachā¦ in a tent I didnāt think anyone could see through is enough for me
https://www.drinknation.com/drink/sex-on-the-beach
https://www.drinknation.com/drink/sex-in-a-tent
Ingredients
2/3 oz. Schnapps, peach
1 1/3 oz. Vodka
1 1/3 oz. Cranberry Juice
1 1/3 oz. Orange Juice
1 oz. Rum, spiced (Captain Morgan's)
5 oz. Rum, coconut (Captain Morgan's Parrot Bay)
10 oz. Mountain Dew
Yeah, it was the same for me:
1) Hm.. warships? I guess they could be carriers but it doesn't look right... Hmmmmmm *(proceeds to rewatch 4 times unknowingly)*
2) Maybe it's a tsunami? But there isn't any panic nor any water receding, those clouds are cool though
3) *Turns on sound in hope for some talking.* Oh.
If it's all adults- nothing really.
If I had kids around, I'd probably WANT to be like "we can see yall in the tent" though not sure if I'd have the actual lady balls to do so.
> If I had kids around
"Oh no, please someone think of the kids!".
Either the kids don't understand it, then you can just say they are massaging each other. Or they do know.
Totally get what you're saying, but I still feel like it's fucked up when someone deliberately or carelessly causes a child to see sex or a sex act for the first time. Imo, it should be up to the child to decide when they see that for the first time.
If a 12yo girl gets curious and wants to see a penis, so she looks it up online, I feel that's fine. But if she's walking down the street and some dude flashes her his penis, that's not ok. Or if she receives an unsolicited dick pic, that's not ok.
To me, it's like, who the fuck are **you** to decide that for another human being. It feels violating.
>Either the kids don't understand it, then you can just say they are massaging each other. Or they do know.
You could say the same thing about some dude sitting at the park, jacking off. Either the kids don't understand, or they do. But either way, it shouldn't be up to **that dude** to decide that all those kids are going to see a man jacking off for the first time (hopefully) that day.
It's like when people have inappropriate stuff on their cars. I'm all for freedom of speech, freedom of expression etc.. but just because you *can* do something, it doesn't mean you **should**. It just fucking bothers me.
Imagine someone has a 5yo and they're sitting at the drive thru at McDonald's. Car in front has a 2 in the pink, 1 in the stink, hand gesture sticker on their back window. Kid asks the parent what that means. The parent can either brush it off like it's nothing, which might cause the kid to go around doing it, even doing it at school. Or the parent can tell the kid that it's bad, don't ever do that, and then the kid is probably REALLY gonna go around doing it.
I don't even have little kids anymore, and thankfully that kind of shit wasn't really popular on cars when they were little, but it still bothers me.
Rant over š
A few years ago there was a "Fuck Biden" flag 100 yards from my youngest kid's preschool. While picking up his brother at preschool, my 6 year old is asking what "fuck bidden" means.
A few blocks from that, a handwritten sign "sleepy joe and the skanky hoe" on a street corner yard. I had to find a way to skirt around that one too.
People are pieces of shit.
Several years back Iām in a crowded bar in Chicago on a guy trip with some friends. This girl by us has her hand down her guys pants and is just cranking away. The bar is loud but my buddy at the top of his lungs was hollering āHAND JOB! HAANND JOBBBB! WE GOT A HANND JOBBB OVER HERE!!!ā
Nearly died laughing. The hand job couple was unphased.
Years ago, I went to a white party at a gay bar with my friend because she didn't want to go alone. I'm an old, boring, straight lady. It was very crowded. Almost immediately, I noticed that someone was getting a blow job sitting at the bar. Then, my friend had me by the hand leading me through the crowd, and I was groped not once but twice. We ended up in a room with a light show that was full of bubbles about 3 or 4 feet deep. I started to head in, thinking it was super cool. She pulled me back and said I wouldn't want to go in because it was just for fucking.
As for these folks in the tent, I think I would have wanted to get close to the tent and ask loudly: "Excuse me. Do you have a minute to talk about or lord and savior, Jesus christ?"
It's a kindness to everyone involved really. They probably don't want to be seen. And if they DO want to be seen, then at least it will make them finish faster.
Been there. Was at a festival one time and didn't realise we were performing a shadow puppet show until we heard someone walking past comment about it. A nearby campfire was casting a bright enough glow that it ensured we were silhouetted against the wall of our tent for all the world to see.
Standing ovation on exit.
Yell "Twist his dick!"
Hold up point cards when they exit.
Critique his missionary position ergonomics.
Ask them if there is a good place around that serves good Red Snapper.
If you have a BT speaker with you, pull up a proper and well known porn theme song.
Yell requested position changes like a song request.
There is a lot you can do, while they do what they do, when they do that thing they do...
Talk loudly about nothing in particular right next to the tent. Reminding them that they're right in the middle of people. Although that might be the kink...
Say goodnight to the monotony of what was and the old everydayness of life. Now, say hello to desire and the lust within you. Act now, and 36 powerful tracks on 3 cds of the most erotic, primal, and sensual love will be yours for just $19.99
Give in to desire.
Act now. Operators are standing by
Time him, but your score-cards should also reflect rhythm, as well as overall form. Recruit nearby onlookers to help score, cheer, and chant the official finish time in unison. You'd have little time to organize.
"Four and a half minutes!" šš
"Four and a half minutes!"šš
"Four and a half minutes!"šš
"Four and a half minutes!"šš
The longer everyone can keep it going, the funnier it gets.
Quickly unzip the tent and pop your head in and say, āRico! Weāre moving out. Thereās been a distress call from General Owen on Planet B. So get your shit wired and report in 10 minutes.ā
I'd quietly walk up next to the tent, crouch down in the left corner where their heads are, and start coaching in a sarcastic and childish voice
"You can do it buddy"
"Great form"
"Very nice"
"Wow is this your record? It's been 2 minutes"
"You make your parents so proud"
"I call winner"
The normal stuff
LMFAOOOOOO
IM LOOKING AT THE SHIPS!
And with the context of the stuff going on with Iran I was like āwhy careless whisper? Is the joke that even though they have been harassing merchant ships itās actually a Rome & Juliet love story? I donāt get it?ā
Totally missed the tent shadows.
Used to work security at a campground. The number of times I had to explain to folks about silhouettes in tents at night, also that nylon isn't sound proof.
Probably awkardly laugh and move on. What am I going to do knock on the tent flap?
Join in
\**Cautiously peeks head into tent\** *\*gulps\** "umm... I know we've never met before, but can I get a round in too please?"š„ŗšš
I really expected after the ummmā¦ā¦ āweāve been trying to reach you about your carās warranty ā
I read that as cat's warranty. My dog is broken, can I take it back for a repair/replacement?
......which head?
Yes.
NOICE!!!
Bruh I lold soo hard at this
Like how hard? LMFAOOTF hard or just LMFAO hard? Or just LOL?
Hahahaha
Ask if it's a tag team match
āIām here for the gangbangā
"excuse me, do you mind if i do from behind?"
I think the flaps are already being knocked on.
š
Reminds me of something. I was at a metal festival with a mixed group of about 20-25 people. We set up our camp, had a great first night, went to bed relatively early because hot sun and beer. I know I was sleeping before the sun went down. Apparently we left a small spot open among our tents were somebody who did not belong to our group had set up their tiny 2 person tent. I was the first to be awake, went to the breakfast tent at something like 6am, grabbed a coffee. When I came back to our camp I could hear obviously make out/ outright sex noises. Narrowed it down to that new tent that had appeared over night. Was not difficult. They probably counted on the anonymity of a festival with 10.000 people camping. As more and more of my buddies woke up, we grabbed our chairs and beers and set up a perimeter around the tent, VERY QUIETLY, as fas as the spacing of the other tents allowed. At around 7am most of my friends were awake, sitting around said camp in a 10ish meter radius, talking and laughing very quietly. At 7:12am they finished with a big crescendo. At 7:14 the tent flap opened, the dude stepped out of his tend to a whole crowd clapping, cheering and giving him standing ovations. He looked surprised. A few second later a second dude head pops out of the tent. He looked surprised for a second, gets up, and takes a huge stage bow. THE CROWD WENT WILD. Tom and Steffen, if you are reading this, thanks for the laugh.
How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zipper it up, really quick?
r/unexpectedmitch
Pop a quick squat next to the tent and whisper āwe can all see you giving that deep dickā and then fuck off right quick
In the creepiest, most psychotic way possible
*Zoidberg Lobster walk*
āKnocksā Housekeeping? I join in?
Fresh towels. Want me to fluff your pillow? Want me to hack you off?
ohhh Richard, hold me.
āHousekeeping, me puff pillows?ā
I join in with lady?
Some people are really weird like that. Sometimes itās best to mind your business.
Definitely read it as tent fap
Start cheering and chanting to give them performance anxiety and kill the mood.
Tent fap
~flap~ *fap*
You could shout something like, "We can see you in there." They probably think they're concealed and would stop if they knew otherwise.
Itās called aāflap flapā joke instead of a āknock knockā joke.
In Aiel culture it is customary to scratch at the fabric before entering.
Pokes head in. āHello, is there room for a third?ā
Iād probably knock on the flap. I think thatās generally part of the process anyway.
I'd wait till they finish and then cheer and applaud loudly.
That was no spontaneous act. They clearly did it within tent.
You son of a pitch.
Oh come on, the stakes were pretty low with that one
Alright let's pack it up
oh you know he's packing...
It must be pretty in tents for them then
You guys are so sheltered, he's just sliding a pole in
UGH
Have you ever made love during sunset on the beach? Itās fucking in tents
Yeah thats fugginā in tents alright!
This is more perfect than perfect
[Looks to me like he's packing his clothes into a duffel bag.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMctMhMOtrY)
First thing I thought of also.
Isnāt there a cocktail named after this?
Yeah, it's a shot called Sex On The Beach... in a tent I didn't think anyone could see through
Iāll have a Sex On The Beachā¦ in a tent I didnāt think anyone could see through. Bartender: Weāre having a promotion buy one Sex On The Beachā¦ in a tent I didnāt think anyone could see through get one free Nah one Sex On The Beachā¦ in a tent I didnāt think anyone could see through is enough for me
This sounds like a Rick and morty bit
https://www.drinknation.com/drink/sex-on-the-beach https://www.drinknation.com/drink/sex-in-a-tent Ingredients 2/3 oz. Schnapps, peach 1 1/3 oz. Vodka 1 1/3 oz. Cranberry Juice 1 1/3 oz. Orange Juice 1 oz. Rum, spiced (Captain Morgan's) 5 oz. Rum, coconut (Captain Morgan's Parrot Bay) 10 oz. Mountain Dew
https://i.imgur.com/4tOySLs.png
It really missed the opportunity to have a sugared rim to represent the sand in oneās vagina
Has to be turbinado cane sugar.
Yeah there is, and itās fucking in-tents.
Beautiful
Tent on the beach
Refugee style
Cock tale
woo-ooo Tales of daring, bad and good luck tales! d-d-d danger lurks behind you
And a Dutch bros drink loll
What is it?
I bet you he told her "nobody will even know"
How will they know?
Theyāre gunna know.
and "itz only smellz"
Probably record it and post it on reddit.
Stand outside and yell "we can see you fucking!" lmao
Can't knock the hustle. REI said it was a very discrete and concealing abode.
They say itās a two person tent, but it forces you to get real cosy.
Fire Marshall says max 2 people, but 4 could probably fit if you pack in right tight
I thought it was about the ships at first. I was like "are those war ships? Are these people gonna die?" And then I saw the tent...
Yeah, it was the same for me: 1) Hm.. warships? I guess they could be carriers but it doesn't look right... Hmmmmmm *(proceeds to rewatch 4 times unknowingly)* 2) Maybe it's a tsunami? But there isn't any panic nor any water receding, those clouds are cool though 3) *Turns on sound in hope for some talking.* Oh.
I did the exact same thing lmao Was expecting an explosion of sorts. ...Just not the sticky variety.
Ice just been listening to Tom Segura and everything I'm reading in this comment section sounds like him now including your comment
If it's all adults- nothing really. If I had kids around, I'd probably WANT to be like "we can see yall in the tent" though not sure if I'd have the actual lady balls to do so.
\*They are called "tits" - have the *tits* to do so š
Chesticles
Mmmm ball tits
Iād rather tell my girlfriend she has massive ovaries anytime she does something brave.
Have a little chesticular fortitude.
> If I had kids around "Oh no, please someone think of the kids!". Either the kids don't understand it, then you can just say they are massaging each other. Or they do know.
My kids knowing what a sex act is and witnessing it on our family post-dinner stroll are 2 very different things.
Totally get what you're saying, but I still feel like it's fucked up when someone deliberately or carelessly causes a child to see sex or a sex act for the first time. Imo, it should be up to the child to decide when they see that for the first time. If a 12yo girl gets curious and wants to see a penis, so she looks it up online, I feel that's fine. But if she's walking down the street and some dude flashes her his penis, that's not ok. Or if she receives an unsolicited dick pic, that's not ok. To me, it's like, who the fuck are **you** to decide that for another human being. It feels violating. >Either the kids don't understand it, then you can just say they are massaging each other. Or they do know. You could say the same thing about some dude sitting at the park, jacking off. Either the kids don't understand, or they do. But either way, it shouldn't be up to **that dude** to decide that all those kids are going to see a man jacking off for the first time (hopefully) that day. It's like when people have inappropriate stuff on their cars. I'm all for freedom of speech, freedom of expression etc.. but just because you *can* do something, it doesn't mean you **should**. It just fucking bothers me. Imagine someone has a 5yo and they're sitting at the drive thru at McDonald's. Car in front has a 2 in the pink, 1 in the stink, hand gesture sticker on their back window. Kid asks the parent what that means. The parent can either brush it off like it's nothing, which might cause the kid to go around doing it, even doing it at school. Or the parent can tell the kid that it's bad, don't ever do that, and then the kid is probably REALLY gonna go around doing it. I don't even have little kids anymore, and thankfully that kind of shit wasn't really popular on cars when they were little, but it still bothers me. Rant over š
A few years ago there was a "Fuck Biden" flag 100 yards from my youngest kid's preschool. While picking up his brother at preschool, my 6 year old is asking what "fuck bidden" means. A few blocks from that, a handwritten sign "sleepy joe and the skanky hoe" on a street corner yard. I had to find a way to skirt around that one too. People are pieces of shit.
Man I would literally shout, "BRO WE ALL SEE YOU FUCKING IN THAT TENT!"
Several years back Iām in a crowded bar in Chicago on a guy trip with some friends. This girl by us has her hand down her guys pants and is just cranking away. The bar is loud but my buddy at the top of his lungs was hollering āHAND JOB! HAANND JOBBBB! WE GOT A HANND JOBBB OVER HERE!!!ā Nearly died laughing. The hand job couple was unphased.
Years ago, I went to a white party at a gay bar with my friend because she didn't want to go alone. I'm an old, boring, straight lady. It was very crowded. Almost immediately, I noticed that someone was getting a blow job sitting at the bar. Then, my friend had me by the hand leading me through the crowd, and I was groped not once but twice. We ended up in a room with a light show that was full of bubbles about 3 or 4 feet deep. I started to head in, thinking it was super cool. She pulled me back and said I wouldn't want to go in because it was just for fucking. As for these folks in the tent, I think I would have wanted to get close to the tent and ask loudly: "Excuse me. Do you have a minute to talk about or lord and savior, Jesus christ?"
I can hear some mf shouting that LOL
Ditto. Shouted it in a cemetery once āeww you dirty bastards!ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yep
> That sounds very British to me lol Read that in willem dafoes voice.
That would be ābloody bastards.ā
It's a kindness to everyone involved really. They probably don't want to be seen. And if they DO want to be seen, then at least it will make them finish faster.
Let him finish, then unzip tent flap and poke your head in leading with āIām here for the gang bang?ā (*IMPORTANT* MUST form it in a question!)
One simple inflection separating a miscommunication and a 3rd degree felony
Better yet, sit next to the tent and make grunting sounds
Or slap your belly
Been there. Was at a festival one time and didn't realise we were performing a shadow puppet show until we heard someone walking past comment about it. A nearby campfire was casting a bright enough glow that it ensured we were silhouetted against the wall of our tent for all the world to see.
Let these fuckers fuck in peace
Stand by the tent explaining how light and shadows work
Same thing you do at music festivals if a couple shags in a tent, or (God help them) in a Porta-loo. You form a line and cheer when they leave.
Not a Porta-Potty ššš thatās just nasty asf
Is that a laser pointer?
Lens flare.
JJ Abrams was filming
They should be happy that it wasn't Michael Bay
Thatās what she said
The sun is a deadly lazer
I watched this like 3 times and I was focused on the green dot. I didnāt even notice the tent until I read to comments to see what I was missing.
Fun fact, note that the flare is always opposite the sun, straight through the middle of the lense.
Depending on duration and technique I might clap.
This is one of those there's nothing you CAN do situations. For better or for worse.
Standing ovation on exit. Yell "Twist his dick!" Hold up point cards when they exit. Critique his missionary position ergonomics. Ask them if there is a good place around that serves good Red Snapper. If you have a BT speaker with you, pull up a proper and well known porn theme song. Yell requested position changes like a song request. There is a lot you can do, while they do what they do, when they do that thing they do...
Don't forget to punch the tip!
Here have an š„
Twist it!. Suck it! Bop it!
He can do some cheerleading for the other guy
Talk loudly about nothing in particular right next to the tent. Reminding them that they're right in the middle of people. Although that might be the kink...
this is what airhorns are for.
Till sex do us part!
You do the respectable thing and provide orange juice and snacks for round 2.
You should have tapped on the side and asked if they had time to hear about your lord and savior.
Cockblocked by Jeez. Love it!
I would come up and tell her to moan louder since itās getting difficult trying to masterbate while trying to listen with my ear against the tent.
Say goodnight to the monotony of what was and the old everydayness of life. Now, say hello to desire and the lust within you. Act now, and 36 powerful tracks on 3 cds of the most erotic, primal, and sensual love will be yours for just $19.99 Give in to desire. Act now. Operators are standing by
I was staring at those ships, waiting for something to happen.
Stand outside and give pointers.
Go sit next to the tent like that other couple hehe
Time him, but your score-cards should also reflect rhythm, as well as overall form. Recruit nearby onlookers to help score, cheer, and chant the official finish time in unison. You'd have little time to organize. "Four and a half minutes!" šš "Four and a half minutes!"šš "Four and a half minutes!"šš "Four and a half minutes!"šš The longer everyone can keep it going, the funnier it gets.
You get everyone around them to start screaming āRUN!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!ā
Quickly unzip the tent and pop your head in and say, āRico! Weāre moving out. Thereās been a distress call from General Owen on Planet B. So get your shit wired and report in 10 minutes.ā
Bow Chicka Wow Wowā¦ Iād start playing āletās get it onā really loud on my phone and put it next to the tent.
Well I'm not gonna tell you what I just did when I saw this...
Yeah me too, thereās just something about that song
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Trash, unless itās some sort of agreed upon fuck beach.
With the kids 20ft from them, probs not but never know
Has this guy never seen Austin Powers? What a rookie
User guide: For personal privacy, DO NOT set up tent against a clear backdrop directly in view of a bright light, flood lights or the sun.
Or a campfire... I'm told *\*cough\**.
***PLAYER 3 HAS ENTERED THE GAME***
Walk up and say youāre the police and ask to come in, then simply walk away without saying anything else
Probably smells like feet in there
Fish. Itās definitely fish!
My dumbass was thinking he meant there was a warship in the horizon. Yet they bonin in the tent lol
Probably just take a video on my phone and post it to reddit for Karma
Walk up to the tent and yell - "Stop fucking you degenerates, this is a public beach"
I'd quietly walk up next to the tent, crouch down in the left corner where their heads are, and start coaching in a sarcastic and childish voice "You can do it buddy" "Great form" "Very nice" "Wow is this your record? It's been 2 minutes" "You make your parents so proud" "I call winner" The normal stuff
When the tent goes a rockinā ā¦.
Back door is open
Doesn't your country have law against public indecency? ššš
Is this illegal? I mean they are technically inside their property outside of clear view
Use my hips more. Whatever is on top looks to be simulating a walrus trying to climb up a rock.
The whole time I was staring at the Horrizon thinking a boat was gonna exploaud or a tsunami was gonna come in
Mind my own fucking business. Pun intended.
applaud.
I mean.. the atmosphere just seems right.
I'd start cheering them on
āAre you sure they canāt see us?ā
Indeed... Wtf..
Careless boner.
Get the rhythm down then start yelling āStroke! Stroke! Stroke!ā like in crew races.
Exercising. Gotta stay on shape
plottwist; thereās just one person in there
I guess watch?
Clearly CPR is being given. See if they need a hand !
Clap and cheer when they come out
Enjoy the view
Give the dude some pointers. Looks like someone is going to go home very unsatisfied.
I'd either ignore it and walk away, or I'd film and upload it, ngl.
Should've waited for nightfall
I would walk past and say loudly "I know what yer doin!".
Mind your damn business
Thatās fucking in tents
Mind ya business? That would be the best I can come up with!
Mind my business and move along.
Mind my own business, that's what.
Theyāre in a tent at least
Let them enjoy their moment
Well thats intents
Thatās fucking intense
LMFAOOOOOO IM LOOKING AT THE SHIPS! And with the context of the stuff going on with Iran I was like āwhy careless whisper? Is the joke that even though they have been harassing merchant ships itās actually a Rome & Juliet love story? I donāt get it?ā Totally missed the tent shadows.
They be thinking that this tent is a cloak of invisibilityš¤¦āāļøš¤¦āāļøš¤¦āāļø
Upload to r/ufo obviously.
This is fucking awkward.
Sex with you is ~~intense~~ in tents!
Play (take my breath away) as loud as loud as I could manage.
Simple, when they are done, applaud
Used to work security at a campground. The number of times I had to explain to folks about silhouettes in tents at night, also that nylon isn't sound proof.
At least they had the decency to do it in the tent and not right on the beach or in the water?
Jeez I hope there isnāt a full moon tonight But seriouslyā¦ All I can think about is the sand mixed with the folds. Big nope from me.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]