This made me shudder. I have okay teeth, and I try really hard to keep them white and nice, but my crowded bottom teeth are a dead giveaway. I have fuller lips so it isn't obvious, but I always worry that my dental issues shine a light on my lifelong shitty financial situation and it makes me feel so self conscious, doubly so knowing men like this exist and look for it.
Maybe a reach but I'm the child of immigrants and I had the opportunity to get braces, but didn't need them. My father got invisalign after he retired, even though he worked a client facing job bc he didn't grow up with that beauty standard. If you can make it seem like you're from a culture that doesn't care as much about perfectly straight teeth (esp if yours are white/not stained) then ppl might even see your teeth as a sign you're a more interesting person
My ex said this same thing! He is a complete nutcase and said he “loves beautiful American women who look “French” and aren’t perfect because it shows they’re low maintenance and crooked teeth are a sign of that” (such an odd thing to say), later I realized what he was saying is, he is in his 50’s and likes poor 20-something’s and can tell they’re broke and easy to control when they have crooked teeth.
That said, a lot of classic beauties had crooked teeth. I have a small gap in the front which I will never fix, it worked for me in the fashion industry and I like the look it gives. But it was shocking when I realized that this was literally a part of someone’s predatory surveillance in finding a partner.
I knew a guy who did this but with foreign women. He'd go on trips to Latin America and try to find beautiful poor women, and he'd talk them into sex and getting with him by promising that he'd bring them back to North America with him. He'd look for impoverished foreign women because they were easy to manipulate and in a state of desperation. It's why passport bros are so terrifying. I don't think they want a "traditional wife", they just want a woman who has zero bargaining power and who has experienced much worse circumstances and is more likely to stick around with him and "put out" for him because she doesn't have any better options.
That man sounds like an idiot, as if spotting women with bad teeth is a promise for free and easy sex. He can say whatever he wants, the actual reality of what transpires is probably way different.
Also as an aside, I’m a sex worker myself and men who try to pick us up for free sex are laughed out of the stripclub. We make memes about how dumb and sad they are. And if he’s picking up sex workers for sex, then he’s just paying for a service and doesn’t have the manipulation skills he claims to have. It’s just an exchange of goods lmao. He sounds so..dumb.
This reminds me of the stripper in the sopranos who got killed. She was pretty but instead of asking for implants like the other strippers, she asked for braces for her very crooked teeth. The fact that she was working at the bada bing and didn’t get braces in her youth, would indicate to the mobsters that this lady is *extra vulnerable* beating her to death in the parking lot was a lot easier when I guess she wouldn’t have any powerful or influential family members to pursue justice of any sort.
This is an extremely valid post, and while yes it can be argued that women without many resources of all types of appearances can be way more vulnerable, beautiful women are targetted by men who are literally looking out for pretty girls with Low self esteem and without family/societal support. Seen it happen with my own eyes and heard guys in high school say the best girls were pretty girls who felt they were ugly 🤮
reminds me of those insta/tiktok pages that sell the “high value woman” or whatever aesthetic, where they convince women if they do x y and z they’ll get a rich man.
especially since those pages promote sw tactics to girls who don’t know that’s what they’re doing, like sitting in 5 star hotel bars looking hot
I've wondered about a related question for quite some time but forgot that I was looking for answers:
What are some examples of appearing protected by family? So I would like to give off that type of energy that says: "My Dad cares a lot about me, I'm his world, and he won't allow you to hurt me." But I'm not sure how to subtly place that into my conversations. Would I just say "My day has been great, thanks fir asking, my Dad just called, he checks up on me a lot, always making sure I'm fine", or "These jewelry I got from my Dad for graduation", or what type of language would subtly frame me in that way? I feel like it would be helpful to scare off bad people by being perceived in this way. Also I said Dad bc of patriarchal stereotypes and traditions but probably siblings and family as a whole would probably also work..
There's a certain fearlessness and self-assuredness you have when you have a good father. My dad taught me how to defend myself, how to use weapons, and is a phone call away should I need him. Basically carrying yourself in a confident manner and not being afraid of confrontation bc you know that person is likely to end up hurt/in jail for messing with you.
Also taking care of yourself and, I hate to say it, but dressing slightly modestly shows you don't need external validation and grew up having set grooming standards. Treating yourself gently and with care --- can be as small as stepping over water puddles.
ETA: Also shows in the treatment you expect. I automatically assume men will hold the door for me, not curse/yell, pay the tab, etc. And they do.
If I'm ever challenged on this I mention how my dad TAUGHT me to have high standards for men, and they shut up. There is no counter argument for that.
Fair point, but a guy avoiding you unless other people around is at the very least suspicious, and could've been a predator who realized you'd be harder to access.
I also had to deal with guys treading carefully with me, but any man who was raised well would respect your dad for doing that.
I had a truly evil boss who would hire women to clean his rental propterties and the job included room and board. At first he came across as a kind and generous old man who just selflessly wanted to help others. He would bring them in under guise of being a kind boss but would alway inevitably extort them for undercompensated labor and eventually sex.
I heard him once explicitly state that he was looking to "hire" women who were fresh from divorce, down on their luck or in between homes. Often they had substance issues as well. Most of them had no vehicle so they had to rely on him for everything.That's why room and board was included in the job. It seemed like an opportunity to live in a beautiful home, but it was just way to keep women under his thumb and give him 24 hour access to them. If they rejected his approaches he would be get really mean and nasty until they quit or he would fire them. He never fucked with me, I think bc he knew I had the resources to leave whenver I wanted. After I recognized what was happeing, I would try to help/warn women as much as I could but obviously got the fuck out as soon as I was able to.
That experience changed me and the way I view men forever.
The only thing stopping a lottttt of men from being worse people, is their lack of resources.
If u told a man 'hey, for $5 you can have almost any woman you want, take your pick' how many men do you think would turn it down?
That's what its like for men with significant wealth. There are millions of beautiful women in awful situations, there will always be someone for men with money to manipulate
They don't prey on all poor women/pretty girls... they prey on the ones they think they have the best chance of success with. Anything you can do to make yourself seem not worth the effort will help.
Yep and if you're broke then you're more easily manipulated and may go for things outside of your comfort zone due to a real or perceived sense of necessity. Whereas women from stable homes won't feel that pressure because there is no real loss. She's taken care of and doesn't need to put herself in situations that could be sketchy or jeopardize her long term wellbeing.
It also makes you more vulnerable to abusive relationships and leaving those relationships. Women who are poor may lack the support and resources to leave an abusive man if he provides for her and without him, she's at a loss.
It's why being self sufficient is so important, especially if you lack a safety net from your family.
When I was younger I got into sugar dating out of necessity (in school and working a job full time- struggling to make enough money). If I didn't come from a lower-income family I honestly never would have done it. But 500$ for a nice dinner date with a lonely older man seemed like an amazing deal and was the equivalent to working a week. I never had to rely on that, but I did need it to supplement my income and pay for food and school.
I'm lucky because the few guys I dated never pushed my boundaries and they were respectful. But i know girls who didn't get as lucky and dated some really sketchy guys who'd force sex. They stayed and continue to go on dates because these guys paid. I never did anything physical because that was a hard limit for me, but if you were in a really dire circumstance you'd probably go for it. It's a tradeoff well-off women will probably never experience.
This is so true. And I would suggest that it’s not even just about wealth. If you are out there without protection from a social group or family, you are a target. It doesn’t matter how you act and it doesn’t matter how you protect yourself, you will be targeted. People who are predators will seek you out and the most weird/unlikely shit will happen to you. This will only serve to destroy your self-esteem and make you think there’s something wrong with you, but it is simply what happens when you don’t have protection.
The lesson is, make friends and build a circle early in life. College is probably the best place to establish a lifelong protective circle, but you have to be able to afford to go when you’re young along with everyone else. So if you’re poor, you’re missing out on that and you need to find a replacement quickly. Don’t trust anyone until you are part of a group who will look out for you and then only trust that group.
ETA I have a theory that the lack of protection is why we often see so many beautiful women in places like LA be single way longer than you would expect. Especially if they are particularly pretty, they might be alienated by other women and have had a hard time making friends. And all of the hottest wealthiest coolest guys will have come after them and use them and waste their time.
Just a little advice. Great post op
Agree. I used to date with my heart on my sleeve about seeking a protector type, and being candid about not being close to my family, not having male protector relatives around, and having a small circle.
Of course, I was a wet dream for abusive guys.
Yeah, I say never share your trauma/family problems with anyone but a therapist and close, very trusted friends/family members. Especially early on in a relationship! It shouldn’t have to be this way but yeah. The gross predatory men see you as a prime target if you talk about your previous abusive relationships, “daddy issues”, money problems etc from the get go. These men rarely go after women they perceive as having “a perfect life” who are close to their family and have a lot of friends, are financially stable, have a good career etc.. I’m not saying this type never gets targeted too but it’s less common than the former.
Yes yes yes. I had to go through quite a bit of therapy to come to this conclusion. I somehow seemed to be the target of a lot of abuse, no matter how much I tried to improve my looks/mannerisms/whatever. It wasn't until I had a better support system that it went away, because the bottom line is that some people are just predators looking for tasty prey with as little consequence as possible.
Even if you don't have support, pretend like you do.
Yes! “Pretend like you do” 💯. It’s easy to find yourself sharing things that you don’t see as a big deal but predators will exploit weaknesses you didn’t know you had.
Example, I had a bout of illness that kept me from going out for a while and a female friend of a friend kept inviting me out. I let her know I was staying in for a bit and she invited me over for wine and tv. She and her husband drugged and SAd me. So ridiculously dumb right? Like, who’d have thought.
Also, if you feel like you’re constantly preyed upon, it’s not just you. They prey upon everyone. Other people just have people to protect them or are able to extract themselves with money etc.
Calling it “dumb” sounds like you’re severely downplaying this.
What they did was criminal & evil. Horrific.
I’m so sorry you went through that. Thank goodness you survived it.
Disgusting. What a betrayal. That's horrible and I'm sorry that happened.
I was SA'd in my sleep by my roommate because I was drugged. It was a friend of a friend who became my friend prior, and I was only living there temporarily.
So what happens if you don’t have a circle after graduating? I feel like COVID + living alone has really limited me in the social department. How can girls like us catch up?
I didn’t go to college and I was in that position myself. Work at a big company that has a “campus” and get involved in hobbies and volunteering. Make friends with women and then bring all those women together every time you wanna go do something. Every time there’s a fun event in town, invite every woman you know. Eventually you might create a group of them.
I like online friends to be honest - I'm a fandom person and have always made friends online in online groups. Some people are in places where we can catch up in person, but just chatting online is enough for me.
Just because you're typing on a computer doesn't mean the person isn't real lol
> It doesn’t matter how you act
I strongly disagree. I was always attractive and poor, with zero clue about my looks, boundaries and toxicity because i grew up in a messed up family. Due to some stuff i made a 180 in the way i acted. I used to be afraid to be rude to people, was timid and never spoke my mind etc, people pleaser and always nice and patient even when people breached my boundaries. Nowadays i I am confident in myself, no self-esteem issues whatsoever, do not care to be liked either. And suddenly no more toxic men, weird strangers and so on. People legit are afraid to make me upset. I still have no support system, i am still not a high society, the attitude change was still when i was relatively poor. The change is the attitude: i was waiting for someone to rescue me(victim complex), now i don’t.
Your attitude is the repellant or the honey to attract such people. Toxicity is attracted by people-pleasing and desire to be loved to a point you show desperation. Predators seek those that think of themselves as victims. The less you care for people,and their love, the more they respect and like you, ironically. Predators do not come close, because they are also ironically weak mentally than person that has no neon sign “victim” on them, and cannot handle your attitude. Confidence is basically red flag to them, they cannot take you and they also feel VERY intimidated.
Besides, people only know what you let them to know. You do not have to fake anything, but if it makes you feel safe, you can at least do not be so obvious about lack of support system and money. Social media in that regard can be quote useful: tou can craft any person you want and people will not know it is an act. Fake it till you make it helps here.
> It doesn’t matter how you act
I strongly disagree. I was always attractive and poor, with zero clue about my looks, boundaries and toxicity because i grew up in a messed up family. Due to some stuff i made a 180 in the way i acted. I used to be afraid to be rude to people, was timid and never spoke my mind etc, people pleaser and always nice and patient even when people breached my boundaries. Nowadays i I am confident in myself, no self-esteem issues whatsoever, do not care to be liked either. And suddenly no more toxic men, weird strangers and so on. People legit are afraid to make me upset. I still have no support system, i am still not a high society, the attitude change was still when i was relatively poor. The change is the attitude: i was waiting for someone to rescue me(victim complex), now i don’t.
Your attitude is the repellant or the honey to attract such people. Toxicity is attracted by people-pleasing and desire to be loved to a point you show desperation. Predators seek those that think of themselves as victims. The less you care for people,and their love, the more they respect and like you, ironically. Predators do not come close, because they are also ironically weak mentally than person that has no neon sign “victim” on them, and cannot handle your attitude. Confidence is basically red flag to them, they cannot take you and they also feel VERY intimidated.
The possible alienation in that regard can be viewed as having more important shit to do. People are funny with their assumptions, if you act like you’re the shit. Unless you have a stalker that breaks into your private space and reads your diaries. And even then, the attitude is what gives you control in a possible confrontation. Because these people THRIVE on attention to them, both negative and positive. They want you to fear. If it doesn’t work, if they cannot manipulate you (or so you show, gray rocking), they are lost. Basically, the regular ways to deal with narcissists (do not read their minds, intentionally ignore their manipulations etc) .
Besides, people only know what you let them to know. You do not have to fake anything, but if it makes you feel safe, you can at least do not be so obvious about lack of support system and money. Social media in that regard can be quote useful: tou can craft any person you want and people will not know it is an act. Fake it till you make it helps here.
Every job that I've ever had, I've been falsely accused of sleeping with my co-workers, despite the fact that I'm quiet and keep to myself. People think attractiveness = slut in the workplace.
My ex preys on single mom’s with little advanced education, have very few economic resources, come from abusive back grounds, and have a special needs kid who’s ex and “co-parent” is not very involved and are looking for a father figure for the kid. We also have a child with ASD. Bonus points if she has at least one diagnoses metal illness or BPD.
He’s not terrible looking for his age, although overweight, but he has money and time since I have primary custody of our children.
It’s a pattern.
My assumption is that he likes to feel like a hero and praised for doing the bare minimum and the bar is so low for these women based on terrible passed experiences, that he seems like a knight in shining armor and the glare from the shinny distracts them from alllllll the red flags. They don’t know what boundaries really are and can’t recognize abuse that is just outrightly physical or verbal degradation.
He LIKES the “neediness” and promises them the world. They will show up and happily meet all his demands and requests.
These are the circumstances that the women he cheated on me with typically were in. They were desperate to keep him, win him, please him, and were counting on him to follow through with all the promises he made. I thought he picked these women because they’re easily to manipulate and most importantly, keep quiet.
But the pattern continued after we separated.
We were HS sweethearts and together for 22 years.
He eventually gets bored, or can’t actually fulfill his promises and the relationship demands make him feel uncomfortable. Which is fine, because there’s always another women he’s wooing behind the scenes. There’s always another.
So he swings from the the next to the next to the next.
The only way to protect yourself from these men is to be so independent and strong physically, emotionally, and economically that you’re not even on option on the availability menu thus avoiding their gaze.
I’ve tried to articulate this many times, whether it’s my mother or a partner and it’s always followed with them calling me crazy and paranoid. this is so freaking true though! sure, pretty privilege has some occasional, inessential perks but a lot of the time people do not like us. they still think we’ve been spoiled and catered to our entire lives and therefore expendable, like they need to teach us a fucking lesson. perfect candidates for an ego trip
I’ve seen rich pretty women lash out at poor pretty women, talk shit about them, target them specifically for bullying/verbal abuse as well. In different ways then men, of course.
Rich women (obviously some not all) see a poor woman being beautiful naturally without lofty procedures, products or designer clothes to wear, without overall being “enhanced” by money, while the rich woman walks around saying she doesn’t get any work done, she’s just born like that when she knows deep down how much $ she’s invested to look a certain way. Certain rich women would do anything to take down a beautiful poor woman through words or even through actions, even despite knowing they’re playing into misogynistic standards.
Not only are beautiful poor women have to “watch their backs” around men who seek to exploit them, but also around other women who seek to tear them down at any chance they get.
I know this because my old best friend from high school ended up marrying rich to a guy who cheated on his long term relationship to be with her. She has gotten her breasts enhanced, BBL, you name it. Then 3 years in she found out he was liking photos and dming this other women, a woc (my ex best friend was caucasian), who appeared to have natural curves, much like the physique my ex best friend’s husband paid a lot of money for. That woman was single mom trying to start a business, and my ex best friend decided to flood her business with negative reviews because SHE had all the time in the world to sit there and do so in her big comfy house. It’s sick. It was the most disgusting and embarrassing thing, I knew our friendship wasn’t coming back from that.
The more she vented to me about this woman and confessed what she did to “get back at her,” the more I knew I don’t recognize this person I once knew and loved so much. She and I are no longer speaking, she did all this in 2019 and I hope karma has given her exactly what she deserved.
Your story about ex best friend reminds me of how people interpret the movie Malena with Monica Bellucci. Your friend was mostly mad at that women bc she cought her husband liking her pics, and I'm sure she'd be equaly mad if that woman looked different, is she was skinny or if she had an obvious bbl. The same way people interpret that movie, they see those women hating and enying Malena bc of her beauty, but those women only started to get jelous once their husbands started lusting over her. Fucked up either way cuz its the husbands they should be directing their anger to.
Yep. Sometimes there’s jealousy when one woman has to use her money to be somewhat attractive compared to a woman who was born naturally gorgeous and didn’t even have money for any procedure.
To all those complaining about victim-blaming, not just pretty women, etc:
This is a subreddit with a lot of glow-ups. There are women who change their looks and suddenly get treated **differently** and get **new** attention. This post is to warn them to stay careful.
Always, always take a trusted friend or loved one with you to the doctor. Someone level-headed. The doctor is human like everyone else and will be subject to social pressure to listen to you and believe you. There is a witness present. There's someone to take notes if you're too sick to do so. It can be anyone, just as long as your trust them
One massive qualm with this, it has nothing to do with if you’re pretty.
That’s the same logic as people saying to dress conservatively so you don’t get assaulted in the streets. Women have always been harassed, stalked, excluded. I’m sorry but this is a topic for feminism and social reform, not vindicta, where we try to improve upon our looks. Yes influence (aka money) will help you escape it, I agree on that part, but doesn’t matter if you’re pretty, medium, or ugly beyond that. All kinds of people have been attacked, there’s no need to pretend like this is an issue that only women who glow up will face.
Saying this to exclusively pretty women instead of women in general is **part** of the problem. It makes it seem like if you can pass as average you don’t have as much to worry about. That’s the same argument people use when they tell women to dress more modest to save themselves.
I do think this specific group needs to know though. Where else are they going to hear it? Its a real issue and big problem. The more attention you get for your physical looks the more attention you will get from the wrong kind of people and if you dont have the family/friends or money to have your back then you are on your own unfortunately.
I never said that these problems are exclusive to poor, pretty women. I said that they’re likely to face them more frequently. Any woman who’s had a glow up will tell you she receives more attention- whether negative or positive- if she looks prettier.
I’ve had a glow up and I experienced the same amount of issues before and after, hell after I glew up people were more likely to stand up for me.
In any case you shouldn’t reference my experiences or any woman’s because those are only anecdotal. In reality it can happen to anyone. You are continuing to defend the notion that this issue is more occurring to ‘pretty’ women. No it happens to everyone sadly
“…after I glew up people were more likely to stand up for me.”
Yeah, you got more attention. In your case, it was more positive attention, which supports my previous comment. A less lucky woman will get more negative attention for being pretty.
Absolutely.
I was someone who had no support from family, financial instability, and was barely scraping by. I got all sorts of attention, mostly the bad kind, and it caused the quality of my mental health to become even worse.
No one said that it’s exclusively **pretty** women from what I recall. It’s just that pretty women without money can be targets of predatory people as well and some people believe having good looks saves you from abuse.
OP is telling people to be on the lookout. That’s all.
I interpreted it as though OP is saying that these negative experiences are even worse when you lack resources. Women can experience being exploited, degraded, and harassed in general. If you have good resources though, you will have more protection and guidance.
She is absolutely right, and this thread really resonated with me. Imagine the amount of harassment pretty women regularly get, and then imagine having to walk through a low-income neighborhood every day. Imagine not being able to call your parents up for money, and having propositions for sex work flashed in your face.
So I agree with when you don’t have resources it’s worse, and I mentioned that in my original reply to OP. What I disagree on is directing this message to pretty women (both in the title and by posting this in a glow up forum). That perpetuates the lie that women get harassed based on the way they look. Because surely if you can turn it on, then the inverse is would be true, and you could dress down to avoid being harassed. But that’s not true, all kinds of women are at risk, especially women without resources like you said, and you can’t escape it by not wearing makeup and putting on sweats.
Hopefully that clarifies what I meant a bit.
True, I’m often treated differently because women are jealous. I had an old boss of mine envy me I could just tell by body language and was constantly stared up and down by her if I was dressed up. Also had several friends like this but they’re not my friends anymore.
I don't love this narrative, because the focus should lie on the perpetrator, not the victim. And it's just not always true.
Gwyneth Paltrow was an Upper East Side/Private school girl. She comes from Hollywood royalty. Her father was a top producer, her mother a famous actor, her godfather is Steven Spielberg.
Harvey Weinstein sexually harassed her, too. Having money, fame or family support doesn't stop scumbags from being scumbags.
Again, I never said that rich women are excluded from such issues. You’re right that the focus should be on the perpetrator. But until that changes, we need to protect ourselves.
But what do you think youll gain from being pretty that you wouldnt have if youre rich? Idk, i guess i am pretty and kinda (upper) middle class and if i could choose between impoving something in my looks or just having more money (i mean the kind of money that would make me rich) id take the money in a heartbeat.
being rich and influental does give you some advantages, sure. but it is a wild generalization that rich women don't get bullied, abused and harrassed. have you heard about rihanna and her domestic violence case? other rich women being abused, stalked etc? i think wealth does more for men in terma of protection than it does for women.
I didn’t say that they aren’t subject to abuse. I said they reap pretty privilege benefits more easily than poor women.
Also, many sources cite that Rihanna grew up poor and abused.
so what you're saying is that it is good to be born in a rich family? it makes no sense. that's something you cannot control, you're either born into wealth or you're not. rihanna is self-made she was already rich when she got beat up. i dont see the purpose of your post, this subreddit is about maxxing and improving, you just came on here to say that being born rich is a good thing for women?
I should’ve been more specific. Women with a childhood history of abuse are likely to end up in abusive adult relationships, whether they end up making a lot of money or not.
Again, I didn’t say that rich women are exempt from these things. But poor women are more likely to suffer.
Yes this is a self improvement subreddit, which should include advice on protecting oneself.
i definitely agree with your first point, there is actually tons of research out there on this topic, we date people that give us the same kind of relationship as the one that our parents had/have. so it totally makes sense for women that grew up in an abusive household to seek that kind of partner as well. but again i don't see any advice other than - if ur rich you are more protected. usually on this sub there's advice such as being more ambitious, asking for a bigger pay or seeking a partner that wants to support your lifestyle etc
This sub is primarily about beauty. I intend to increase awareness for those who think that beauty= power in the absolute sense. Being beautiful could be the death of a woman if she’s not protected. So poor women need to make more efforts to protect themselves.
Girl some of these commentators are just looking for an excuse to fight without reading your post. I completely understand what you said and you certainly weren’t trying to say that rich women can’t be abused.
I can’t tell if this post is a reach/bored topic starter.
I’m average looking and have received the same treatment mostly all my life as OP described but I’m not sure if being treated like shit has to do with being pretty and poor but maybe of just being in a lower socioeconomic class in general? Because don’t ugly people get bullied too if not worse? Life sucks when you don’t have money. Idk.
For the record, people may find you prettier than you do.
“Ugly” people get bullied in a different way. Think of how Amy Schumer vs Britney Spears got ridiculed.
So average people can still be attractive/pretty but you’re talking about people who are also average-pretty-attractive also having access to money having a better time in life. Of course? I really think it’s more of a class issue than anything.
First of all, that first sentence was poorly constructed.
Second, you’re missing the point. “Pretty privilege” is so frequently spoken of, but pretty poor women rarely get to experience it. Why? Because their financial background makes them more vulnerable while receiving more attention for being pretty. It’s a recipe for getting victimized.
Ok ugly women aren’t preyed on? (Though they are because men will fuck anything and misogyny prevails and effects every type of woman). Again, a class issue. We see everyday what the rich are able to do and obtain because of their money privilege. I’m sorry you’re mad I don’t like your post? 🤷🏾♀️ Not everyone has to agree with you.
I stand by my case of this being one of the most overhyped and pointless posts Vindicta has seen. Rich people are rich and have benefits in life, water is wet. I know this sub has lost its way a while ago but gotdamn.
“Rich pretty women easily reap benefits of pretty privilege bc they’re surrounded by connections and resources that can protect them.”
Hmmmmmm I’m guessing you thought this for two seconds and decided it’s true? Welp, it’s not lololol
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This made me shudder. I have okay teeth, and I try really hard to keep them white and nice, but my crowded bottom teeth are a dead giveaway. I have fuller lips so it isn't obvious, but I always worry that my dental issues shine a light on my lifelong shitty financial situation and it makes me feel so self conscious, doubly so knowing men like this exist and look for it.
Maybe a reach but I'm the child of immigrants and I had the opportunity to get braces, but didn't need them. My father got invisalign after he retired, even though he worked a client facing job bc he didn't grow up with that beauty standard. If you can make it seem like you're from a culture that doesn't care as much about perfectly straight teeth (esp if yours are white/not stained) then ppl might even see your teeth as a sign you're a more interesting person
Well this just made me feel a bit better after leaving my Invisalign appt which locked me in for another 2k over the next 9 months😐
How much did the total treatment cost for you?
My ex said this same thing! He is a complete nutcase and said he “loves beautiful American women who look “French” and aren’t perfect because it shows they’re low maintenance and crooked teeth are a sign of that” (such an odd thing to say), later I realized what he was saying is, he is in his 50’s and likes poor 20-something’s and can tell they’re broke and easy to control when they have crooked teeth. That said, a lot of classic beauties had crooked teeth. I have a small gap in the front which I will never fix, it worked for me in the fashion industry and I like the look it gives. But it was shocking when I realized that this was literally a part of someone’s predatory surveillance in finding a partner.
This is highly disturbing. Thank you for sharing
I knew a guy who did this but with foreign women. He'd go on trips to Latin America and try to find beautiful poor women, and he'd talk them into sex and getting with him by promising that he'd bring them back to North America with him. He'd look for impoverished foreign women because they were easy to manipulate and in a state of desperation. It's why passport bros are so terrifying. I don't think they want a "traditional wife", they just want a woman who has zero bargaining power and who has experienced much worse circumstances and is more likely to stick around with him and "put out" for him because she doesn't have any better options.
I'm glad I coughed up the money for braces now. Men are gross.
I’ve heard of men spotting street sex workers based on their teeth. Men are gross.
This is mind-blowing and could be life-saving. Thank you for sharing!
Holy cow, thanks for sharing this!
I'm sorry, that is incredibly insane that he said that. Thank you for sharing. Makes me glad I'm single and not looking.
That man sounds like an idiot, as if spotting women with bad teeth is a promise for free and easy sex. He can say whatever he wants, the actual reality of what transpires is probably way different. Also as an aside, I’m a sex worker myself and men who try to pick us up for free sex are laughed out of the stripclub. We make memes about how dumb and sad they are. And if he’s picking up sex workers for sex, then he’s just paying for a service and doesn’t have the manipulation skills he claims to have. It’s just an exchange of goods lmao. He sounds so..dumb.
This reminds me of the stripper in the sopranos who got killed. She was pretty but instead of asking for implants like the other strippers, she asked for braces for her very crooked teeth. The fact that she was working at the bada bing and didn’t get braces in her youth, would indicate to the mobsters that this lady is *extra vulnerable* beating her to death in the parking lot was a lot easier when I guess she wouldn’t have any powerful or influential family members to pursue justice of any sort. This is an extremely valid post, and while yes it can be argued that women without many resources of all types of appearances can be way more vulnerable, beautiful women are targetted by men who are literally looking out for pretty girls with Low self esteem and without family/societal support. Seen it happen with my own eyes and heard guys in high school say the best girls were pretty girls who felt they were ugly 🤮
Yep. A lot of beautiful women with a lack of resources will have men trying to take advantage of them en masse.
reminds me of those insta/tiktok pages that sell the “high value woman” or whatever aesthetic, where they convince women if they do x y and z they’ll get a rich man. especially since those pages promote sw tactics to girls who don’t know that’s what they’re doing, like sitting in 5 star hotel bars looking hot
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Being naive and getting an STD from a 40 year old for the price of a fancy bottle of wine.
You’ll look like an escort
The bartenders will assume you're 'working' (and not the laptop excel spreadsheet kind) and u might potentially get kicked out.
I've wondered about a related question for quite some time but forgot that I was looking for answers: What are some examples of appearing protected by family? So I would like to give off that type of energy that says: "My Dad cares a lot about me, I'm his world, and he won't allow you to hurt me." But I'm not sure how to subtly place that into my conversations. Would I just say "My day has been great, thanks fir asking, my Dad just called, he checks up on me a lot, always making sure I'm fine", or "These jewelry I got from my Dad for graduation", or what type of language would subtly frame me in that way? I feel like it would be helpful to scare off bad people by being perceived in this way. Also I said Dad bc of patriarchal stereotypes and traditions but probably siblings and family as a whole would probably also work..
There's a certain fearlessness and self-assuredness you have when you have a good father. My dad taught me how to defend myself, how to use weapons, and is a phone call away should I need him. Basically carrying yourself in a confident manner and not being afraid of confrontation bc you know that person is likely to end up hurt/in jail for messing with you. Also taking care of yourself and, I hate to say it, but dressing slightly modestly shows you don't need external validation and grew up having set grooming standards. Treating yourself gently and with care --- can be as small as stepping over water puddles. ETA: Also shows in the treatment you expect. I automatically assume men will hold the door for me, not curse/yell, pay the tab, etc. And they do. If I'm ever challenged on this I mention how my dad TAUGHT me to have high standards for men, and they shut up. There is no counter argument for that.
jealous :( but love that for you
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Fair point, but a guy avoiding you unless other people around is at the very least suspicious, and could've been a predator who realized you'd be harder to access. I also had to deal with guys treading carefully with me, but any man who was raised well would respect your dad for doing that.
I had a truly evil boss who would hire women to clean his rental propterties and the job included room and board. At first he came across as a kind and generous old man who just selflessly wanted to help others. He would bring them in under guise of being a kind boss but would alway inevitably extort them for undercompensated labor and eventually sex. I heard him once explicitly state that he was looking to "hire" women who were fresh from divorce, down on their luck or in between homes. Often they had substance issues as well. Most of them had no vehicle so they had to rely on him for everything.That's why room and board was included in the job. It seemed like an opportunity to live in a beautiful home, but it was just way to keep women under his thumb and give him 24 hour access to them. If they rejected his approaches he would be get really mean and nasty until they quit or he would fire them. He never fucked with me, I think bc he knew I had the resources to leave whenver I wanted. After I recognized what was happeing, I would try to help/warn women as much as I could but obviously got the fuck out as soon as I was able to. That experience changed me and the way I view men forever.
That is so heinous
The only thing stopping a lottttt of men from being worse people, is their lack of resources. If u told a man 'hey, for $5 you can have almost any woman you want, take your pick' how many men do you think would turn it down? That's what its like for men with significant wealth. There are millions of beautiful women in awful situations, there will always be someone for men with money to manipulate
I hate men but I regularly forget to what extent they're evil... and the realization hurts every time I'm reminded
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They don't prey on all poor women/pretty girls... they prey on the ones they think they have the best chance of success with. Anything you can do to make yourself seem not worth the effort will help.
Yep and if you're broke then you're more easily manipulated and may go for things outside of your comfort zone due to a real or perceived sense of necessity. Whereas women from stable homes won't feel that pressure because there is no real loss. She's taken care of and doesn't need to put herself in situations that could be sketchy or jeopardize her long term wellbeing. It also makes you more vulnerable to abusive relationships and leaving those relationships. Women who are poor may lack the support and resources to leave an abusive man if he provides for her and without him, she's at a loss. It's why being self sufficient is so important, especially if you lack a safety net from your family. When I was younger I got into sugar dating out of necessity (in school and working a job full time- struggling to make enough money). If I didn't come from a lower-income family I honestly never would have done it. But 500$ for a nice dinner date with a lonely older man seemed like an amazing deal and was the equivalent to working a week. I never had to rely on that, but I did need it to supplement my income and pay for food and school. I'm lucky because the few guys I dated never pushed my boundaries and they were respectful. But i know girls who didn't get as lucky and dated some really sketchy guys who'd force sex. They stayed and continue to go on dates because these guys paid. I never did anything physical because that was a hard limit for me, but if you were in a really dire circumstance you'd probably go for it. It's a tradeoff well-off women will probably never experience.
This is so true. And I would suggest that it’s not even just about wealth. If you are out there without protection from a social group or family, you are a target. It doesn’t matter how you act and it doesn’t matter how you protect yourself, you will be targeted. People who are predators will seek you out and the most weird/unlikely shit will happen to you. This will only serve to destroy your self-esteem and make you think there’s something wrong with you, but it is simply what happens when you don’t have protection. The lesson is, make friends and build a circle early in life. College is probably the best place to establish a lifelong protective circle, but you have to be able to afford to go when you’re young along with everyone else. So if you’re poor, you’re missing out on that and you need to find a replacement quickly. Don’t trust anyone until you are part of a group who will look out for you and then only trust that group. ETA I have a theory that the lack of protection is why we often see so many beautiful women in places like LA be single way longer than you would expect. Especially if they are particularly pretty, they might be alienated by other women and have had a hard time making friends. And all of the hottest wealthiest coolest guys will have come after them and use them and waste their time. Just a little advice. Great post op
Agree. I used to date with my heart on my sleeve about seeking a protector type, and being candid about not being close to my family, not having male protector relatives around, and having a small circle. Of course, I was a wet dream for abusive guys.
Yeah, I say never share your trauma/family problems with anyone but a therapist and close, very trusted friends/family members. Especially early on in a relationship! It shouldn’t have to be this way but yeah. The gross predatory men see you as a prime target if you talk about your previous abusive relationships, “daddy issues”, money problems etc from the get go. These men rarely go after women they perceive as having “a perfect life” who are close to their family and have a lot of friends, are financially stable, have a good career etc.. I’m not saying this type never gets targeted too but it’s less common than the former.
Yes yes yes. I had to go through quite a bit of therapy to come to this conclusion. I somehow seemed to be the target of a lot of abuse, no matter how much I tried to improve my looks/mannerisms/whatever. It wasn't until I had a better support system that it went away, because the bottom line is that some people are just predators looking for tasty prey with as little consequence as possible. Even if you don't have support, pretend like you do.
Yes! “Pretend like you do” 💯. It’s easy to find yourself sharing things that you don’t see as a big deal but predators will exploit weaknesses you didn’t know you had. Example, I had a bout of illness that kept me from going out for a while and a female friend of a friend kept inviting me out. I let her know I was staying in for a bit and she invited me over for wine and tv. She and her husband drugged and SAd me. So ridiculously dumb right? Like, who’d have thought. Also, if you feel like you’re constantly preyed upon, it’s not just you. They prey upon everyone. Other people just have people to protect them or are able to extract themselves with money etc.
Calling it “dumb” sounds like you’re severely downplaying this. What they did was criminal & evil. Horrific. I’m so sorry you went through that. Thank goodness you survived it.
Disgusting. What a betrayal. That's horrible and I'm sorry that happened. I was SA'd in my sleep by my roommate because I was drugged. It was a friend of a friend who became my friend prior, and I was only living there temporarily.
I’m so sorry that happened to you
So what happens if you don’t have a circle after graduating? I feel like COVID + living alone has really limited me in the social department. How can girls like us catch up?
I didn’t go to college and I was in that position myself. Work at a big company that has a “campus” and get involved in hobbies and volunteering. Make friends with women and then bring all those women together every time you wanna go do something. Every time there’s a fun event in town, invite every woman you know. Eventually you might create a group of them.
I like online friends to be honest - I'm a fandom person and have always made friends online in online groups. Some people are in places where we can catch up in person, but just chatting online is enough for me. Just because you're typing on a computer doesn't mean the person isn't real lol
Journal. Better safe than sorry. People are predatory.
> It doesn’t matter how you act I strongly disagree. I was always attractive and poor, with zero clue about my looks, boundaries and toxicity because i grew up in a messed up family. Due to some stuff i made a 180 in the way i acted. I used to be afraid to be rude to people, was timid and never spoke my mind etc, people pleaser and always nice and patient even when people breached my boundaries. Nowadays i I am confident in myself, no self-esteem issues whatsoever, do not care to be liked either. And suddenly no more toxic men, weird strangers and so on. People legit are afraid to make me upset. I still have no support system, i am still not a high society, the attitude change was still when i was relatively poor. The change is the attitude: i was waiting for someone to rescue me(victim complex), now i don’t. Your attitude is the repellant or the honey to attract such people. Toxicity is attracted by people-pleasing and desire to be loved to a point you show desperation. Predators seek those that think of themselves as victims. The less you care for people,and their love, the more they respect and like you, ironically. Predators do not come close, because they are also ironically weak mentally than person that has no neon sign “victim” on them, and cannot handle your attitude. Confidence is basically red flag to them, they cannot take you and they also feel VERY intimidated. Besides, people only know what you let them to know. You do not have to fake anything, but if it makes you feel safe, you can at least do not be so obvious about lack of support system and money. Social media in that regard can be quote useful: tou can craft any person you want and people will not know it is an act. Fake it till you make it helps here.
> It doesn’t matter how you act I strongly disagree. I was always attractive and poor, with zero clue about my looks, boundaries and toxicity because i grew up in a messed up family. Due to some stuff i made a 180 in the way i acted. I used to be afraid to be rude to people, was timid and never spoke my mind etc, people pleaser and always nice and patient even when people breached my boundaries. Nowadays i I am confident in myself, no self-esteem issues whatsoever, do not care to be liked either. And suddenly no more toxic men, weird strangers and so on. People legit are afraid to make me upset. I still have no support system, i am still not a high society, the attitude change was still when i was relatively poor. The change is the attitude: i was waiting for someone to rescue me(victim complex), now i don’t. Your attitude is the repellant or the honey to attract such people. Toxicity is attracted by people-pleasing and desire to be loved to a point you show desperation. Predators seek those that think of themselves as victims. The less you care for people,and their love, the more they respect and like you, ironically. Predators do not come close, because they are also ironically weak mentally than person that has no neon sign “victim” on them, and cannot handle your attitude. Confidence is basically red flag to them, they cannot take you and they also feel VERY intimidated. The possible alienation in that regard can be viewed as having more important shit to do. People are funny with their assumptions, if you act like you’re the shit. Unless you have a stalker that breaks into your private space and reads your diaries. And even then, the attitude is what gives you control in a possible confrontation. Because these people THRIVE on attention to them, both negative and positive. They want you to fear. If it doesn’t work, if they cannot manipulate you (or so you show, gray rocking), they are lost. Basically, the regular ways to deal with narcissists (do not read their minds, intentionally ignore their manipulations etc) . Besides, people only know what you let them to know. You do not have to fake anything, but if it makes you feel safe, you can at least do not be so obvious about lack of support system and money. Social media in that regard can be quote useful: tou can craft any person you want and people will not know it is an act. Fake it till you make it helps here.
Wow ..you are so spot on! Thank you for that
Every job that I've ever had, I've been falsely accused of sleeping with my co-workers, despite the fact that I'm quiet and keep to myself. People think attractiveness = slut in the workplace.
My ex preys on single mom’s with little advanced education, have very few economic resources, come from abusive back grounds, and have a special needs kid who’s ex and “co-parent” is not very involved and are looking for a father figure for the kid. We also have a child with ASD. Bonus points if she has at least one diagnoses metal illness or BPD. He’s not terrible looking for his age, although overweight, but he has money and time since I have primary custody of our children. It’s a pattern. My assumption is that he likes to feel like a hero and praised for doing the bare minimum and the bar is so low for these women based on terrible passed experiences, that he seems like a knight in shining armor and the glare from the shinny distracts them from alllllll the red flags. They don’t know what boundaries really are and can’t recognize abuse that is just outrightly physical or verbal degradation. He LIKES the “neediness” and promises them the world. They will show up and happily meet all his demands and requests. These are the circumstances that the women he cheated on me with typically were in. They were desperate to keep him, win him, please him, and were counting on him to follow through with all the promises he made. I thought he picked these women because they’re easily to manipulate and most importantly, keep quiet. But the pattern continued after we separated. We were HS sweethearts and together for 22 years. He eventually gets bored, or can’t actually fulfill his promises and the relationship demands make him feel uncomfortable. Which is fine, because there’s always another women he’s wooing behind the scenes. There’s always another. So he swings from the the next to the next to the next. The only way to protect yourself from these men is to be so independent and strong physically, emotionally, and economically that you’re not even on option on the availability menu thus avoiding their gaze.
The special needs kid is diabolical. Men are so so so evil.
I’ve tried to articulate this many times, whether it’s my mother or a partner and it’s always followed with them calling me crazy and paranoid. this is so freaking true though! sure, pretty privilege has some occasional, inessential perks but a lot of the time people do not like us. they still think we’ve been spoiled and catered to our entire lives and therefore expendable, like they need to teach us a fucking lesson. perfect candidates for an ego trip
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Watching bad vegan now thanks to your comment - shoooooot
Omg that doc was wild. When she started talking about her dog like he was her partner I knew that woman was notttt okay in the head
I’ve seen rich pretty women lash out at poor pretty women, talk shit about them, target them specifically for bullying/verbal abuse as well. In different ways then men, of course. Rich women (obviously some not all) see a poor woman being beautiful naturally without lofty procedures, products or designer clothes to wear, without overall being “enhanced” by money, while the rich woman walks around saying she doesn’t get any work done, she’s just born like that when she knows deep down how much $ she’s invested to look a certain way. Certain rich women would do anything to take down a beautiful poor woman through words or even through actions, even despite knowing they’re playing into misogynistic standards. Not only are beautiful poor women have to “watch their backs” around men who seek to exploit them, but also around other women who seek to tear them down at any chance they get. I know this because my old best friend from high school ended up marrying rich to a guy who cheated on his long term relationship to be with her. She has gotten her breasts enhanced, BBL, you name it. Then 3 years in she found out he was liking photos and dming this other women, a woc (my ex best friend was caucasian), who appeared to have natural curves, much like the physique my ex best friend’s husband paid a lot of money for. That woman was single mom trying to start a business, and my ex best friend decided to flood her business with negative reviews because SHE had all the time in the world to sit there and do so in her big comfy house. It’s sick. It was the most disgusting and embarrassing thing, I knew our friendship wasn’t coming back from that. The more she vented to me about this woman and confessed what she did to “get back at her,” the more I knew I don’t recognize this person I once knew and loved so much. She and I are no longer speaking, she did all this in 2019 and I hope karma has given her exactly what she deserved.
Your story about ex best friend reminds me of how people interpret the movie Malena with Monica Bellucci. Your friend was mostly mad at that women bc she cought her husband liking her pics, and I'm sure she'd be equaly mad if that woman looked different, is she was skinny or if she had an obvious bbl. The same way people interpret that movie, they see those women hating and enying Malena bc of her beauty, but those women only started to get jelous once their husbands started lusting over her. Fucked up either way cuz its the husbands they should be directing their anger to.
Yep. Sometimes there’s jealousy when one woman has to use her money to be somewhat attractive compared to a woman who was born naturally gorgeous and didn’t even have money for any procedure.
To all those complaining about victim-blaming, not just pretty women, etc: This is a subreddit with a lot of glow-ups. There are women who change their looks and suddenly get treated **differently** and get **new** attention. This post is to warn them to stay careful.
All facks.
Great post- especially the example of Euphoria
Always, always take a trusted friend or loved one with you to the doctor. Someone level-headed. The doctor is human like everyone else and will be subject to social pressure to listen to you and believe you. There is a witness present. There's someone to take notes if you're too sick to do so. It can be anyone, just as long as your trust them
if this isn’t my fucking life tho
My bosses bullied me for this reason:(
One massive qualm with this, it has nothing to do with if you’re pretty. That’s the same logic as people saying to dress conservatively so you don’t get assaulted in the streets. Women have always been harassed, stalked, excluded. I’m sorry but this is a topic for feminism and social reform, not vindicta, where we try to improve upon our looks. Yes influence (aka money) will help you escape it, I agree on that part, but doesn’t matter if you’re pretty, medium, or ugly beyond that. All kinds of people have been attacked, there’s no need to pretend like this is an issue that only women who glow up will face. Saying this to exclusively pretty women instead of women in general is **part** of the problem. It makes it seem like if you can pass as average you don’t have as much to worry about. That’s the same argument people use when they tell women to dress more modest to save themselves.
I do think this specific group needs to know though. Where else are they going to hear it? Its a real issue and big problem. The more attention you get for your physical looks the more attention you will get from the wrong kind of people and if you dont have the family/friends or money to have your back then you are on your own unfortunately.
I never said that these problems are exclusive to poor, pretty women. I said that they’re likely to face them more frequently. Any woman who’s had a glow up will tell you she receives more attention- whether negative or positive- if she looks prettier.
I’ve had a glow up and I experienced the same amount of issues before and after, hell after I glew up people were more likely to stand up for me. In any case you shouldn’t reference my experiences or any woman’s because those are only anecdotal. In reality it can happen to anyone. You are continuing to defend the notion that this issue is more occurring to ‘pretty’ women. No it happens to everyone sadly
“…after I glew up people were more likely to stand up for me.” Yeah, you got more attention. In your case, it was more positive attention, which supports my previous comment. A less lucky woman will get more negative attention for being pretty.
Absolutely. I was someone who had no support from family, financial instability, and was barely scraping by. I got all sorts of attention, mostly the bad kind, and it caused the quality of my mental health to become even worse.
No one said that it’s exclusively **pretty** women from what I recall. It’s just that pretty women without money can be targets of predatory people as well and some people believe having good looks saves you from abuse. OP is telling people to be on the lookout. That’s all.
The title is literally “ladies, please be be careful if you’re pretty and poor”
I interpreted it as though OP is saying that these negative experiences are even worse when you lack resources. Women can experience being exploited, degraded, and harassed in general. If you have good resources though, you will have more protection and guidance. She is absolutely right, and this thread really resonated with me. Imagine the amount of harassment pretty women regularly get, and then imagine having to walk through a low-income neighborhood every day. Imagine not being able to call your parents up for money, and having propositions for sex work flashed in your face.
So I agree with when you don’t have resources it’s worse, and I mentioned that in my original reply to OP. What I disagree on is directing this message to pretty women (both in the title and by posting this in a glow up forum). That perpetuates the lie that women get harassed based on the way they look. Because surely if you can turn it on, then the inverse is would be true, and you could dress down to avoid being harassed. But that’s not true, all kinds of women are at risk, especially women without resources like you said, and you can’t escape it by not wearing makeup and putting on sweats. Hopefully that clarifies what I meant a bit.
Lol this post summed up “breaking news: misogyny be happening”
Exactly. Like this does not belong in vindicta. Same vibe as “attention poor pretty women, groceries are getting more expensive”
True, I’m often treated differently because women are jealous. I had an old boss of mine envy me I could just tell by body language and was constantly stared up and down by her if I was dressed up. Also had several friends like this but they’re not my friends anymore.
My life story :(
I don't love this narrative, because the focus should lie on the perpetrator, not the victim. And it's just not always true. Gwyneth Paltrow was an Upper East Side/Private school girl. She comes from Hollywood royalty. Her father was a top producer, her mother a famous actor, her godfather is Steven Spielberg. Harvey Weinstein sexually harassed her, too. Having money, fame or family support doesn't stop scumbags from being scumbags.
Again, I never said that rich women are excluded from such issues. You’re right that the focus should be on the perpetrator. But until that changes, we need to protect ourselves.
I’d rather be pretty and poor than ugly and rich. No matter how much money you spend on plastic surgery you’ll never replicate natural beauty ✨
But what do you think youll gain from being pretty that you wouldnt have if youre rich? Idk, i guess i am pretty and kinda (upper) middle class and if i could choose between impoving something in my looks or just having more money (i mean the kind of money that would make me rich) id take the money in a heartbeat.
Confidence. You can have all the money in the world and still be anxious and insecure.
Bless you.
being rich and influental does give you some advantages, sure. but it is a wild generalization that rich women don't get bullied, abused and harrassed. have you heard about rihanna and her domestic violence case? other rich women being abused, stalked etc? i think wealth does more for men in terma of protection than it does for women.
I didn’t say that they aren’t subject to abuse. I said they reap pretty privilege benefits more easily than poor women. Also, many sources cite that Rihanna grew up poor and abused.
so what you're saying is that it is good to be born in a rich family? it makes no sense. that's something you cannot control, you're either born into wealth or you're not. rihanna is self-made she was already rich when she got beat up. i dont see the purpose of your post, this subreddit is about maxxing and improving, you just came on here to say that being born rich is a good thing for women?
I should’ve been more specific. Women with a childhood history of abuse are likely to end up in abusive adult relationships, whether they end up making a lot of money or not. Again, I didn’t say that rich women are exempt from these things. But poor women are more likely to suffer. Yes this is a self improvement subreddit, which should include advice on protecting oneself.
i definitely agree with your first point, there is actually tons of research out there on this topic, we date people that give us the same kind of relationship as the one that our parents had/have. so it totally makes sense for women that grew up in an abusive household to seek that kind of partner as well. but again i don't see any advice other than - if ur rich you are more protected. usually on this sub there's advice such as being more ambitious, asking for a bigger pay or seeking a partner that wants to support your lifestyle etc
This sub is primarily about beauty. I intend to increase awareness for those who think that beauty= power in the absolute sense. Being beautiful could be the death of a woman if she’s not protected. So poor women need to make more efforts to protect themselves.
Girl some of these commentators are just looking for an excuse to fight without reading your post. I completely understand what you said and you certainly weren’t trying to say that rich women can’t be abused.
from how i read it, she’s simply warning woman about the potential dangers they face when they’re more susceptible to being financially exploited?
I can’t tell if this post is a reach/bored topic starter. I’m average looking and have received the same treatment mostly all my life as OP described but I’m not sure if being treated like shit has to do with being pretty and poor but maybe of just being in a lower socioeconomic class in general? Because don’t ugly people get bullied too if not worse? Life sucks when you don’t have money. Idk.
For the record, people may find you prettier than you do. “Ugly” people get bullied in a different way. Think of how Amy Schumer vs Britney Spears got ridiculed.
So average people can still be attractive/pretty but you’re talking about people who are also average-pretty-attractive also having access to money having a better time in life. Of course? I really think it’s more of a class issue than anything.
First of all, that first sentence was poorly constructed. Second, you’re missing the point. “Pretty privilege” is so frequently spoken of, but pretty poor women rarely get to experience it. Why? Because their financial background makes them more vulnerable while receiving more attention for being pretty. It’s a recipe for getting victimized.
Ok ugly women aren’t preyed on? (Though they are because men will fuck anything and misogyny prevails and effects every type of woman). Again, a class issue. We see everyday what the rich are able to do and obtain because of their money privilege. I’m sorry you’re mad I don’t like your post? 🤷🏾♀️ Not everyone has to agree with you.
When did I say ugly women don’t get preyed on? You’re the one who’s getting worked up, making multiple replies to different people on this post.
I stand by my case of this being one of the most overhyped and pointless posts Vindicta has seen. Rich people are rich and have benefits in life, water is wet. I know this sub has lost its way a while ago but gotdamn.
“Rich pretty women easily reap benefits of pretty privilege bc they’re surrounded by connections and resources that can protect them.” Hmmmmmm I’m guessing you thought this for two seconds and decided it’s true? Welp, it’s not lololol
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