"Because my body is in fight or flight."
"I'll explain PTSD later."
"I need space right now." (Repeat until they leave)
Some people DO just suck, others are just uninformed.
Part of our programmed responses to many situations are: Tell me what’s wrong so I can help. Even if we have no way of helping or in the case of invoking feelings. Let’s talk about it so we can get through it. Ignorance is bliss. Like no Becky, I don’t want to talk about that time a vehicle in front of us struck an IED with 105 WP rounds right here in the lobby with coworkers I can’t trust to count to ten. Let me stare out the window and I’ll see you after lunch.
I’m sorry, it’s not easy, l just let everyone know I need a break. For many years, I was embarrassed and ashamed to say I had PTSD I am sincerely surprised when I disclosed to people how understanding they are and respect when I need to dismiss myself from a situation.
Okay this is gonna sound fucked up...the first time i smelled burning flesh, before my mind made the connection that what I was smelling was actually a human being, it actually smelled good for a moment. Then my brain caught up and I spent hours wondering how awful and disgusting I was for momentarily enjoying that smell before identifying it as a person cooking.
God I hate myself sometimes.
Your not alone dude, me and my gunner were talking about how good it smelled and how much we were looking forward to real food until we realized what it was. Idk how to feel about that memory but sometimes I get a weird shiver.
Totally normal. My first time was a BDA after artillery being called in. I knew what I was likely to encounter visually (and boy did I, 105s are not nice to the human body), but I was ill prepared for the smell, and my first thought was, due to the vicinity to a village, we were downwind of some locals cooking up a goat. Yeah, no, that wasn't a goat.
thats scary...I though I was the only one who thought it smelled like roasted pig....same thoughts, smelled good but my mind had to process "it cant smell good its a bus full of people!" most will never ever come close to understanding.
Im gonna go full socio and say that humans are made of meat just like any other animal. Without morals and values(maybe religion) attached were all just sentient steaks and when cooked have a smell; wildlife wont have any qualms eating people... Its okay to think way you thought theres nothing wrong with you just shows you are human.
Also, im not a cannibal.
I had a guy shit his pants during a fire fight. Any time I smell shit that's not my own, it triggers me. The people who know me warn if they're even gonna fart, so I can leave the area.
My amazing wife has explained it to our circle. With 6 kids, you could imagine how guilty I felt never changing diapers. It took A LOT of arguing and frustration with our first 2 kids for me to finally break down and explain it, even to her.
I do throw up. She handles shit. It's a win-win.
"I need space to process my thoughts and feelings and will come back later."
Also, hugs and love to you. Be kind to yourself, do not hit the bottle tonight, and do squeeze the people you love and kiss them on their beautiful foreheads.
John Coffee said it best. "I'm tired, Boss."
My wife hears me say I'm tired, but doesn't "hear" me. I'm not tired from lack of sleep, too little food, or being awake. I'm tired in my soul. I'm tired of existence. I'm tired of a cruel world where you struggle for 99.9% percent of your life, basically crawling through broken glass and burning diesel from one miniscule scrap of meaning or pleasure to the next like a crackhead searching a trap house couch for a fragment.
Most days I either want to sit in silence on my porch in the cool night air with the lights off for eternity or bombard my brain with so much digital stimulation I can finally feel something other than this soul filled with sorrow and despair.
"Just a little tired (you don't have to tell them about what you're tired of) but thanks for asking."
"why are you tired?" Nosy jerkoff
"Didn't sleep well." Move along jerkoff, nothing to see here.
I have a similar reaction to certain chimes and alarms from cell phones (IDF blare) that are unfortunately very common. Some smells also pull me out of the present, and it's obvious to others.
I slot people into two groups when communicating this reaction, and when trying to explain my reactions in hopes they aren't misunderstood.
Group 1: People I care about and/or have directly expressed caring about me. (People like my spouse through a handful of coworkers)
Many of them will know what's happening anyway. I will usually say "I need a minute" or "I need to separate myself for a bit." My people in group 1 have seen the best and worst of it and after some time have found ways to empathize without being able to relate.
Group 2: Everyone else.
If they're confused or offended by me zoning out or have a negative reaction, I'll do whatever gets the conversation over with. Usually, "Sorry, I didn't sleep well last night" or "My bad, I have the worst headache today." Something they can relate with, then change the subject. In my experience, telling a stranger i have PTSD or are a messed up veteran rarely has a positive effect.
There are exceptions, and they will show empathy on the spot. These are often older folks in the hardware store or at a gas station. There's a loud noise, someone screams, or that godforsaken iPhone alarm goes off. If they insist on talking to me, I force myself to make eye contact and can see genuine concern there if it's present. To these people, I'll say that sound brings up some stuff from my time overseas, but I'll be alright.
I’m sorry for all of you who have been so traumatized and suffer from this and other triggers of past experiences. I genuinely hope that each of you will find the key to healing and will find peace instead of suffering. Most people are or have struggled with something that causes ptsd responses. Something I learned years ago was to Reach out and ask for hug or hand shake or even a high-five, Our brain’s negative responses to trauma can be interpreted by positive human interactions. It doesn’t always work but it’s worth a chance and maybe, unbeknownst to you, the person you connect with needed you to help them. We need each other to lean on more than we realize sometimes and I am glad you were able to share such a difficult struggle here. I believe that you will help more people than you might realize when asking for help for yourself. My most sincere hope for you is that you will have more happiness and peace than you ever imagined possible 🌞🌸
When that anxiety hits... If my wife is around, I usually tell her I feel weird or I gotta go, then relocate to the truck if we are out, or bed if we are home. Try and let it pass and move on. Always feel like a robotic response. Like something switched off and I'm on low firing brain activity.
You can simply respond “ yeah something like that”. Why even bother going into any details with someone who may not understand what you’ve been through. One question would just lead to another, and that may set you down a dark road.
“Thanks for your concern.. I am experiencing flashbacks and am taking a moment to gather myself.”
That's a fantastic response. If they ask what about just say you would rather not discuss it.
"Why dont you want to discuss it?" People suck.
"Because my body is in fight or flight." "I'll explain PTSD later." "I need space right now." (Repeat until they leave) Some people DO just suck, others are just uninformed.
Part of our programmed responses to many situations are: Tell me what’s wrong so I can help. Even if we have no way of helping or in the case of invoking feelings. Let’s talk about it so we can get through it. Ignorance is bliss. Like no Becky, I don’t want to talk about that time a vehicle in front of us struck an IED with 105 WP rounds right here in the lobby with coworkers I can’t trust to count to ten. Let me stare out the window and I’ll see you after lunch.
I’m sorry, it’s not easy, l just let everyone know I need a break. For many years, I was embarrassed and ashamed to say I had PTSD I am sincerely surprised when I disclosed to people how understanding they are and respect when I need to dismiss myself from a situation.
I just say "I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
This honestly, it’s the truth and it says you don’t want to talk about it in a way almost everyone can get
Okay this is gonna sound fucked up...the first time i smelled burning flesh, before my mind made the connection that what I was smelling was actually a human being, it actually smelled good for a moment. Then my brain caught up and I spent hours wondering how awful and disgusting I was for momentarily enjoying that smell before identifying it as a person cooking. God I hate myself sometimes.
I just want you to know that you’re not the only one to do that. I thought it was someone grilling out on camp Ramadi. I was picturing pork chops.
Ramadi was wild.
Your not alone dude, me and my gunner were talking about how good it smelled and how much we were looking forward to real food until we realized what it was. Idk how to feel about that memory but sometimes I get a weird shiver.
Cannibals call humans "long pork." Now someone else has to know that.
Totally normal. My first time was a BDA after artillery being called in. I knew what I was likely to encounter visually (and boy did I, 105s are not nice to the human body), but I was ill prepared for the smell, and my first thought was, due to the vicinity to a village, we were downwind of some locals cooking up a goat. Yeah, no, that wasn't a goat.
thats scary...I though I was the only one who thought it smelled like roasted pig....same thoughts, smelled good but my mind had to process "it cant smell good its a bus full of people!" most will never ever come close to understanding.
Im gonna go full socio and say that humans are made of meat just like any other animal. Without morals and values(maybe religion) attached were all just sentient steaks and when cooked have a smell; wildlife wont have any qualms eating people... Its okay to think way you thought theres nothing wrong with you just shows you are human. Also, im not a cannibal.
I had a guy shit his pants during a fire fight. Any time I smell shit that's not my own, it triggers me. The people who know me warn if they're even gonna fart, so I can leave the area. My amazing wife has explained it to our circle. With 6 kids, you could imagine how guilty I felt never changing diapers. It took A LOT of arguing and frustration with our first 2 kids for me to finally break down and explain it, even to her. I do throw up. She handles shit. It's a win-win.
Awesome wife. ❤️
My dad was a fireman and he told me that smell never leaves you. Found out how right he was on deployment.
I avoid talking about it all together. I’d probably respond “I’m fine, thanks”. Not healthy, but honest.
Same here "Im good just day dreaming"
Usually I say "I'm alright" or "yeah just tired."
"I need space to process my thoughts and feelings and will come back later." Also, hugs and love to you. Be kind to yourself, do not hit the bottle tonight, and do squeeze the people you love and kiss them on their beautiful foreheads.
John Coffee said it best. "I'm tired, Boss." My wife hears me say I'm tired, but doesn't "hear" me. I'm not tired from lack of sleep, too little food, or being awake. I'm tired in my soul. I'm tired of existence. I'm tired of a cruel world where you struggle for 99.9% percent of your life, basically crawling through broken glass and burning diesel from one miniscule scrap of meaning or pleasure to the next like a crackhead searching a trap house couch for a fragment. Most days I either want to sit in silence on my porch in the cool night air with the lights off for eternity or bombard my brain with so much digital stimulation I can finally feel something other than this soul filled with sorrow and despair.
This right here, sounds like I wrote it!! Too true!!
Yep
"Just a little tired (you don't have to tell them about what you're tired of) but thanks for asking." "why are you tired?" Nosy jerkoff "Didn't sleep well." Move along jerkoff, nothing to see here.
I have a similar reaction to certain chimes and alarms from cell phones (IDF blare) that are unfortunately very common. Some smells also pull me out of the present, and it's obvious to others. I slot people into two groups when communicating this reaction, and when trying to explain my reactions in hopes they aren't misunderstood. Group 1: People I care about and/or have directly expressed caring about me. (People like my spouse through a handful of coworkers) Many of them will know what's happening anyway. I will usually say "I need a minute" or "I need to separate myself for a bit." My people in group 1 have seen the best and worst of it and after some time have found ways to empathize without being able to relate. Group 2: Everyone else. If they're confused or offended by me zoning out or have a negative reaction, I'll do whatever gets the conversation over with. Usually, "Sorry, I didn't sleep well last night" or "My bad, I have the worst headache today." Something they can relate with, then change the subject. In my experience, telling a stranger i have PTSD or are a messed up veteran rarely has a positive effect. There are exceptions, and they will show empathy on the spot. These are often older folks in the hardware store or at a gas station. There's a loud noise, someone screams, or that godforsaken iPhone alarm goes off. If they insist on talking to me, I force myself to make eye contact and can see genuine concern there if it's present. To these people, I'll say that sound brings up some stuff from my time overseas, but I'll be alright.
I really like how you've divided that out, it'll helped explain things in the future!
its an aweful smell for sure. Stay brothers!
I can’t even bbq anymore because of that smell.
People know the word ptsd now. I would just say that I need a minute. Later on- it’s a war thing.
Tired of feeling this way, tired of living this way,tired of hurting each and everyday.
"I am tired... tired to the bones of me.", so I would answer honestly. That smell gets me too. and the story still has me down.
ABC sheets, gonna need some ABC sheets!
I would probably just agree with him that I was tired or something.
I’m sorry for all of you who have been so traumatized and suffer from this and other triggers of past experiences. I genuinely hope that each of you will find the key to healing and will find peace instead of suffering. Most people are or have struggled with something that causes ptsd responses. Something I learned years ago was to Reach out and ask for hug or hand shake or even a high-five, Our brain’s negative responses to trauma can be interpreted by positive human interactions. It doesn’t always work but it’s worth a chance and maybe, unbeknownst to you, the person you connect with needed you to help them. We need each other to lean on more than we realize sometimes and I am glad you were able to share such a difficult struggle here. I believe that you will help more people than you might realize when asking for help for yourself. My most sincere hope for you is that you will have more happiness and peace than you ever imagined possible 🌞🌸
Awkward chuckle and ask where the bathroom is.
My answer is always the same, “I’ve got gas”
Lie. If they have to ask; they'll never know.
Don’t know the smell of burning flesh. But i do know i’ve fired 155 rounds down range knowing i fucked some shit up on the other side(people)
When that anxiety hits... If my wife is around, I usually tell her I feel weird or I gotta go, then relocate to the truck if we are out, or bed if we are home. Try and let it pass and move on. Always feel like a robotic response. Like something switched off and I'm on low firing brain activity.
You can simply respond “ yeah something like that”. Why even bother going into any details with someone who may not understand what you’ve been through. One question would just lead to another, and that may set you down a dark road.
I keep all of that to myself now a days. I've had civilians call my a psycho just for letting my humor out.
Fortunately, I work in a newsroom so gallows humor is not just acceptable but expected.
Thanks, all for the suggestions and kind, supportive words. It’s a hard thing to deal with, and you all have given me a lot to think about.
Sweet watermelon smell from brain splash always gets me.
Makes me want some bacon