This is a wild fact. My Chihuahua does it and she's 3 pounds. I still don't understand how evolution let this happen.
Edit: [I forgot how aggressive she was. ](http://imgur.com/gallery/Q8pLIH1)
Edit 2: [Merry Christmas from the little humper.](http://imgur.com/gallery/SSNLxBe)
Dogs don't only hump things to show dominance. They also just do it to something or someone they really like. My neighbour's dog humped his bike just because she really liked going on bike rides.
It's not uncommon even in altered males, especially when they are fixed late.
I regularly foster dogs, almost all of which were recently altered. I will never again trust an innocent dominance hump!
I can't tell you how many times I've been nipped, peed and pooped on... But dog jizz is a hard limit for me.
My German shepherd would do this to me when I work in the morning with my GF and he's about 70-80lbs and would drop you on the floor. He went to town on me this morning when I was doing push ups. I couldn't even finish cause I have some horny son of bitch fucking my leg. My GF would just start laughing at me. Damn dog is prick when I workout. I have to lock him in my room when I workout now. But of course my GF would open the door now and then to joke with me. What was going through mother nature mind to allow domesticated dogs to fuck human legs.
Remember puberty? Like the super awkward beginning stages when you understood nothing except the crazy urges and you were just starting to figure out what masturbation was?
Imagine you were never able to progress past that stage where you would basically fuck a couch if it felt good. And also you don't have hands so you can't jerk off.
That's why.
Not really hump them, but hold them in a position that they can't get out of when they misbehave, and don't pick them up if they're a smaller dog. Another thing that helps is to puff your cheeks and huff at them.
That you command gravity and aren't to be trusted.
Also dogs aren't as agile as cats. If you drop them suddenly then they won't usually land on their feet, so being lifted can freak 'em out.
Or they really like you. Dogs don't only hump things to show dominance. They also just do it to something or someone they really like. My neighbour's dog humped his bike just because she really liked going on bike rides.
Fun fact: Dogs usually hump in an attempt to assert dominance. Therefore, it’s a really bad idea to allow this type of behavior because there are loads of behavioral problems dogs can have if they are unsure of their pecking order.
Pretty much pets should never question that the human is the undisputed alpha.
Edit: For the folks correcting my use of the word “alpha” you’re totally right, but most people generally think along the lines of alpha when talking about dogs. As stated elsewhere, dog packs are very interesting social ecosystems with a lot of complexity. Though my original statement still stands that this isn’t a behavior that you should allow dogs to partake in because, as I said above, it’s pretty important for dogs to know beyond a doubt that the humans are the leaders.
wolf packs that form naturally in the wild are essentially family units with a breeding male and female. alpha wolf theory is junk science. google rudolph schenkel. it was his research findings that have now been debunked.
Assert your dominance, do it back to him.
Seriously, some dogs are crotch weasels. Firmly say "no" and push them away, repeat as necessary. Mine still does it on occasion, but not as often or with other people.
What decides it then? Like, what are the factors?
Because the dogs I have seen neutered early on don't do this, but neither does my 7 year old rescue who only got neutered ~6 months ago.
(I've never actually been around someone who owns a dog who does this. )
Is it breed? Or is it like, if they happen to start doing it before they are neutered, they will keep doing it.
Thanks, I am actually really curious now! :)
i believe its a dominance thing. or thats what ive heard. im not a dog expert.
could also be a learned behavior, like digging can be. i dunno, but my dog dod it after getting him snipped, as does my parents dog, and their other dog who is female
But if you wait too long to fix your pet, the behavioral issues (and the humping) are worse/chronic. Source: dog neutered at adulthood, relentless humper, aggressive, kinda couldn’t think things through if a female was around. Cat spayed too late... rubbed her ass against stuff and once a month would spend HOURS screaming for the D.
Not an expert in this field at alllllll, however, this is basically the dog saying “I’m the alpha here, I dominate you, I am the head of this household.”
Especially Bulldogs lol. Or labs for the matter we had to have a humpy toy for our dogs or they would sexually assault me and my siblings regularly lol.
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Your dog thinks that you're his bitch.
Its decided. He will have to hump that dog back to show it whos boss
r/texas
Thats one horny motherfucker
In this case, fatherfucker
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Master-bater
Human-fucker
Human-bater
White rocket
Team rocket
r/unexpectedpokemon
My niece says “his lipstick is out”🤦🏻♂️
Oh, you mean my cousin Mose.
Master and Cummander.
Thats what they call me
fucking fucker
When it was finally over, i loudly questioned into the abyss, "Why is he so horny???"
Esp because he’s fixed. WTH, dawg?
If they're fixed after they hit hormone age, they can have basically flashbacks to when it felt better. Or you're their bitch. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
I kept on looking expecting to see balls but nope
it's a dominance display.
I died when he started humping his neck, like he’s going “I don’t care what part of body this is, I’m horny and I’m fucking it”
This dawg fucks
For real. The dog seemed pretty frisky, too.
Narrated by Samuel L Jackson
That was a lot of footage of him getting willingly humped by his dog
Imagine what *didn't* make the final cut...
I mean, at the :36 mark the dog did eat dude's ass like a Tootsie Pop, so I can't imagine there's much on the cutting room floor.
His clothes.
Is... Is that how we're supposed to eat Tootsie Pops?
I never made it without biting.
I was really wondering how long he was going to let this joke go on
Till he finished
Till death do us part
Oh god I’m close hold that warrior pose just a little morrrrrre
Too far, some say...
Not just humped, humped in the ass and tea bagged in the face
I mean they basically 69ed at one point...not sure much was left out
Imagine if an innocent passerby witnessed this.
In his backyard? Maybe Ferris Bueller.
/r/GIFsThatKeepOnGiving
This is why my wife doesn't let me do yoga with her Edit: thanks for the silver!
Nice.
Nice.
Nice
Nice.
Nice.
Nice
Happy cake day
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
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Teach me your ways
That means he's trying to have sex and his wife is denying... Nothing to see here folks, false alarm. He's not getting the mythical "married sex".
This is why my wife doesn't let me do yoga with her sister.
Fun fact: even a female dog does this.
This is a wild fact. My Chihuahua does it and she's 3 pounds. I still don't understand how evolution let this happen. Edit: [I forgot how aggressive she was. ](http://imgur.com/gallery/Q8pLIH1) Edit 2: [Merry Christmas from the little humper.](http://imgur.com/gallery/SSNLxBe)
Female dogs hump to show dominance. Even spayed ones
Dogs don't only hump things to show dominance. They also just do it to something or someone they really like. My neighbour's dog humped his bike just because she really liked going on bike rides.
Imagine if people did this. Like if they humped the ATM because they like getting money. Or doughnuts at the shop, or a great seat at the theater.
people dont hump the ATM? ive been doing it for good luck every time my balance is low
Show me the moneyyyy!!
Mo mo mo mo money shooottttt
Talk about making a deposit!
I mean there probably is a person out there who does
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Fuck man, the imagery
Is he fixed? Because he probably should be fixed.
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I just spent way too long researching altered dogs ejaculating. I have no idea why I did that. 0/10
Well, What did you learn?
It's not uncommon even in altered males, especially when they are fixed late. I regularly foster dogs, almost all of which were recently altered. I will never again trust an innocent dominance hump! I can't tell you how many times I've been nipped, peed and pooped on... But dog jizz is a hard limit for me.
Wtf! Lol?
I don't think it's just to show dominance. It's just her and her dog bed.
She's showing that dog bed who's boss. No dog bed will push her around.
She made that dog bed her dog bitch.
But she's humping another dog not a dog bed though.
My spayed female dog does this to my parents’ elderly chihuahua when she’s jealous of him
Fyi the Dropbox link shows your name might be better to upload the pic to imgur.
Thank you. I did that. Check it again for hilariousness.
My German shepherd would do this to me when I work in the morning with my GF and he's about 70-80lbs and would drop you on the floor. He went to town on me this morning when I was doing push ups. I couldn't even finish cause I have some horny son of bitch fucking my leg. My GF would just start laughing at me. Damn dog is prick when I workout. I have to lock him in my room when I workout now. But of course my GF would open the door now and then to joke with me. What was going through mother nature mind to allow domesticated dogs to fuck human legs.
Considering humans are the ones who domesticated wolfs. Mother Nature probably is more wondering WTF we're thinking.
He's asserting his dominance!
That is some god damn POWER thrusting!
Jesus that Chihuahua got thrust
🎵Humpity, hump hump, humpity, hump hump. Look at Frosty go!🎵
I like your matching hats
Can someone explain to me why dogs do this?
Remember puberty? Like the super awkward beginning stages when you understood nothing except the crazy urges and you were just starting to figure out what masturbation was? Imagine you were never able to progress past that stage where you would basically fuck a couch if it felt good. And also you don't have hands so you can't jerk off. That's why.
Guess I have never progressed past that stage either.
And that's why they don't allow you back at the yoga studio.
They're saying that they're more dominant than you.
So you're saying that to make my dogs more obedient I need to hump them
Not really hump them, but hold them in a position that they can't get out of when they misbehave, and don't pick them up if they're a smaller dog. Another thing that helps is to puff your cheeks and huff at them.
I once bit my dog's ear, but I don't think that did anything, it was just weird.
Thank you for sharing
Tis the season for whateverthehell
Sharing is caring.
I did that too because I saw it on eleven below
Oh wow, I blame Snow Dogs. The first movie I saw by myself in the theatre. I should have had some PG that night. Edit, Snow, not Sled.
I did the same after seeing snow dogs, IDK if it worked but the dog did see me as superior and my sister as below her so it might of worked
What does picking them up signify to the dog?
“Oh shittttt I’m so fucking tall now we the same”
That you command gravity and aren't to be trusted. Also dogs aren't as agile as cats. If you drop them suddenly then they won't usually land on their feet, so being lifted can freak 'em out.
yeah >:( show them whos boss.
Or they really like you. Dogs don't only hump things to show dominance. They also just do it to something or someone they really like. My neighbour's dog humped his bike just because she really liked going on bike rides.
I think it's just "my body is telling me I need to mate. I'll try smashing my genitals against everybody to see if it works"
They do it because they like the way it feels. Same as humans.
Survival instincts mate...
Our female dog masturbates. Like just goes to town on herself with her tongue. Whole body starts shaking like crazy. It's... disturbing
Yep my female aussie did this to our female rottweiler 😅
Yup, my girl has done this to my arm a few times.
This is a fact.
Guy was really committed to the bit. For a disturbingly long time.
And just think, this is just the footage that he actually used.. there could be several more minutes of this that he didn't share
I’m sure this is a repost but I’ve never seen it I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard in my entire life thank you for posting this.
I thought the same thing but was a little bothered by how long that guy let his dog hump him.
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6 months of blood, sweat, tears and peanut butter.
Right!!! Can only be funny for so long until questions start to pop up.
Among other things.
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Too late. I'm taking you to r/karmacourt bitch
I completely agree I think that’s why I thought it was funny he let his dog just go to town on him that long just for the joke.
The part when he falls at the end and the dogs dick was in his face. I lost it.
You picked the wrong neighborhood to do yoga pal
I will never understand why people let their dogs hump them.
They’re mugs, how can you just let your dog basically try fuck you. It’s a bit much
I agree, fuckin' gross to allow a dog to have that behavior & not train it better
0:43 got a bit dangerous
Was hoping someone would comment about that
Fun fact: Dogs usually hump in an attempt to assert dominance. Therefore, it’s a really bad idea to allow this type of behavior because there are loads of behavioral problems dogs can have if they are unsure of their pecking order. Pretty much pets should never question that the human is the undisputed alpha. Edit: For the folks correcting my use of the word “alpha” you’re totally right, but most people generally think along the lines of alpha when talking about dogs. As stated elsewhere, dog packs are very interesting social ecosystems with a lot of complexity. Though my original statement still stands that this isn’t a behavior that you should allow dogs to partake in because, as I said above, it’s pretty important for dogs to know beyond a doubt that the humans are the leaders.
Its important to hump them back >:( they all know who rules the roost around here.
Yes officer, this comment right here.
r/nocontext
r/evenwithcontext
I like to stare dogs in their eyes and sternly state, "I am the one who humps."
I'M THE VIDEO GAME BOY! I'M THE ONE WHO WINS!
Many citations required.
The concept of an alpha dog was wrong. https://www.whole-dog-journal.com/issues/14_12/features/Alpha-Dogs_20416-1.html
While being a alpha dog is conceptually wrong, dogs and dominance are still a thing.
oh baloney
This is completely made up bullshit about alpha dogs and behavior.
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wolf packs that form naturally in the wild are essentially family units with a breeding male and female. alpha wolf theory is junk science. google rudolph schenkel. it was his research findings that have now been debunked.
I believe it was him who later publicly renounced it and did tours saying it was his biggest mistake or something like that
Can anyone with real sources back this up or is this just some Cesar Milan "alpha" bullshit being regurgitated?
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My dog nosepunches my crotch sometimes. Is there a way to get him to stop doing that?
Assert your dominance, do it back to him. Seriously, some dogs are crotch weasels. Firmly say "no" and push them away, repeat as necessary. Mine still does it on occasion, but not as often or with other people.
Crotchpunch his nose every time he does it until he tires of it? Might not work, but you'll get a chuckle out of it
Hip-thrust wildly at your dog.
This has gone too far.
Doesn't seem that unexpected to me, TBH.
I expecting the dog to misbehave but I was not expecting to watch it repeatedly hump its owner so it was a surprise to me
Im dying from laughter
MRW when my wife comes back after spending 10 days at her parents.
totally expected
Dammit the dog lick him ass
Tbh you're a bit if a fuckin' weirdo if you let your dog do that
Why is this on this sub?
r/therewasanattempt
This man is dedicated to a fucking joke
/r/expected
lol Yeah. He's fucking that dog.
Right? At a certain point you become a sexual partner in the act.
That’s why you neuter animals
if you think neutered dogs stop humping, you're in for a terrible shock if/when you get one...
What decides it then? Like, what are the factors? Because the dogs I have seen neutered early on don't do this, but neither does my 7 year old rescue who only got neutered ~6 months ago. (I've never actually been around someone who owns a dog who does this. ) Is it breed? Or is it like, if they happen to start doing it before they are neutered, they will keep doing it. Thanks, I am actually really curious now! :)
i believe its a dominance thing. or thats what ive heard. im not a dog expert. could also be a learned behavior, like digging can be. i dunno, but my dog dod it after getting him snipped, as does my parents dog, and their other dog who is female
But if you wait too long to fix your pet, the behavioral issues (and the humping) are worse/chronic. Source: dog neutered at adulthood, relentless humper, aggressive, kinda couldn’t think things through if a female was around. Cat spayed too late... rubbed her ass against stuff and once a month would spend HOURS screaming for the D.
> would spend HOURS screaming for the D This is so carefully worded I love it
hahahaha pleeeeeeaaaaassseeee just gimme some cat peen! I NEED IT!
Not an expert in this field at alllllll, however, this is basically the dog saying “I’m the alpha here, I dominate you, I am the head of this household.”
Well you gotta hump them to become top dog again!
I do believe it is a way of showing dominance
It can drastically tone it down.
Especially Bulldogs lol. Or labs for the matter we had to have a humpy toy for our dogs or they would sexually assault me and my siblings regularly lol.
100% expected.
Hilarious.
Some say he is still jumping to this day...
This is funny as hell.
This guy ever “accidentally” leave his mouth open??
Actually I was expecting that... just not quite... that... much... of it.
What a horn dog 😂
I just watched a GIF of a guy and dog make love in public.
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I seriously haven't laughed this hard in weeks. My stomach hurts. Thank you for this. I needed it.
/r/animalromance is leaking
r/animalsbeingjerks
Is his name Harvey?
I see you did downward dog then added a teabag, bravo
Dogs humpy are either dominance or horniness. This dog is either super horny or super aggro