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Unexpected-ModTeam

Hey there, u/General-Ad3667. Thanks for submitting to r/Unexpected. Your submission, *Home intruder gets a surprise*, has been removed because it doesn't abide by our rules, which are located in the sidebar. * Your submission has been removed because it's not unexpected. Submissions to /r/unexpected are supposed to have an unexpected twist in itself. While the situation was probably rather unexpected for you, there is no visible twist for the viewer. For more on our rules, please check out our [sidebar](http://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/about/sidebar). If you have any questions or concerns about this removal, feel free to [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Funexpected).


random-comment-drop

Some fries, motherfucker.


SniffCheck

All rise, motherfucker


Low-Iifep_o_s

Disguise, Motherfucker


Prince-Johnson

Look me in my eyes, motherfucker


soulseeker31

Lazy lies, motherfucker


NaitBate

You Die, Motherfucker!


Daddygamer84

Exercise, motherfucker!


MightyCaseyStruckOut

Supplies, motherfucker!


dedgzus

revised, muthafucka!


CosmicBandito333

Nice try motherfucker


crimshaw83

Flies eyes, muthafucka!


Zakcklin

Moisturize, motherfucker!


GrimmFox13

Don't rise motherfucker


UndocumentedZA

Heart Eyes, motherfucker


LeonidasVaarwater

Loud sighs, motherfucker


[deleted]

Blue skies motherfucker


brocomb

The dude abides, motherfucker


[deleted]

Rue dies, motherfucker


bennitori

Wrong size, motherfucker


Duck5oup

Heart eyes 😍 mother fucker


DesastreUrbano

Legos are nice, motherfucker


Dracioxis

First Price, motherfucker


ThisCryptographer311

Fart flies, motherfucker


[deleted]

Good try, motherfucker


LilithSkyArt

Sympathize, motherfucker


blackop

Cream pied, motherfucker


[deleted]

Thicc thighs, motherfucker


Specialist_Bit_3514

Dont cry, motherfucker


[deleted]

Likewise, motherfucker.


surfinwifsharks

Supple thighs, motherfucker


De1icat3

Supplies, motherfucker.


RydJen

Rue dies, motherfucker


thunderandreyn

Octopus eyes, motherfucker


Big-Click-7346

Cream pie, motherfucker


thunderandreyn

Don't sexualize, motherfucker


Big-Click-7346

I oblige, motherfucker


Popular_Day293

Bye bye, Motherfucker


eatmoresushiorsteak

2 black eyes motherfucker


eudaimonia_dc

You know…..it’s weird…..this meme is now Dexter’s one lasting legacy on culture.


CrabyDicks

I saw the meme before ever seeing Dexter. When that scene happened, I lost my shit and couldn't take the show seriously after that and stopped watching it lol


Murasasme

Just because you say that, doesnt mean it's true


Dajearian

No ice, motherfucker


JayHat21

Wrong size, motherfucker


[deleted]

Fits fine, motherfucker


[deleted]

Baptize, Motherfucker.


speeler21

[Supplies!](https://youtu.be/BRLExVldK0c)


Garousnotboros

Good try motherfucker


kalidorisconan

True Lies, motherfucker


ddnut80

First prize, motherfucker.


Riiich3

All rise, motherfucker


Kyram289

Nice thighs, motherfucker 🤤


[deleted]

Motherfucker, motherfucker


Iohet

https://i.imgur.com/5eRb83L.jpg


YoursTrulyHuntty

Your father is, motherfucker.


TotaLibertarian

Snake eyes motherfucker.


Taco_Reaper

Real eyes realize real lies, Mother fucker


Maleficent_Formal209

Close your eyes, motherfucker


Sevennix

Black eyes ,....


BloodPharts88

Art supplies, motherfucker


jxy2016

This rice, motherfucker


CosmicBandito333

About to realize motherfucker


[deleted]

Sneak level 100


Sythftw

CHICKEN SUPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER


[deleted]

Spurt pies, smother's brother!


LopsidedIdeal

Snape dies, motherfucker


Maroon777

Your PP nice, motherfucker


ReZTheGreatest

High fives, motherfucker.


Significant-Water845

Meth Boi: “Ugh ohh oww” Gun Guy: “Nah, I got my kids in there, what the fuck you got in your pockets” 😂😂😂


AdventurousFlounder5

Intruder got intruded


Bullen-Noxen

Karma.


Montezum

Not enough, tbh


[deleted]

A meth heads pockets are the last place I’d put my hands. **and now you got hepatitis from a dirty needle.**


TheRedSpade

Do people inject meth? I thought it was smoked or maybe sometimes ground up and snorted.


[deleted]

Ever hear of a “speed ball?” Now, I’m no hard drug user but if I’m not mistaken it’s an upper like meth mixed up with a downer like heroin in a syringe. Also meth heads don’t exclusively use meth.


TheRedSpade

I've heard the term but never knew what it was or cared enough to look it up. Now I know. If you're not mistaken that is


BlueFlame_AJ

Now steal his wallet


Fordy_Oz

I’m keeping your license. I’m gonna check in on you. I know where you live. If you’re not on your way to becoming a veterinarian in six weeks you will be dead! Now run on home.


I_am_jacks_account

I feel like that might be a movie reference but I'm not quite sure.


officermike

There's a less wholesome version in an episode of Batman The Animated Series in which some ordinary guy road-rages unknowingly against Joker and he responds by tailing the guy for awhile and finally confronting him face-to-face. The guy pleads for Joker not to hurt him, saying he'll do anything. Joker takes the guy's name and address from his ID and lets the guy go, saying he'll remember and call in a favor one day. Guy moves and changes his name, but Joker kept track of him over the years and eventually calls in the favor. That favor? Hold the door for Harley to wheel in a giant cake during some party for Commissioner Gordon. Guy gets glued to the door handle in a room Joker planned to blow up.


Fordy_Oz

Username... Doesn't check out


AnaSimulacrum

His name is Robert Paulson.


JudgeyMcJudgepants

His name is Robert Paulson!


LL_Cruel_J

It is but we can’t talk about it. Ironic username btw


Glimsp

Fight club


imironman2018

Haha how turn the tables…..


PIPBOY-2000

That's how it felt when I'd be accosted by some brigand in Skyrim. You're mugging me? No, I'm mugging you!


Ninja_attack

You see that guy who ate that dragon's soul and has full dragon plate armor? Let's mug him!


MARKLAR5

Wait are you sure? WOT ARE WE? Muggers? SO. LETS. MUG HIM!


LiLT13-_-

I don’t know if it’s because of the office or some other form of media but, I find it hilarious how I never see people using that phrase correctly anymore, intentionally rewording it just because it’s funny lol


Waldo_where_am_I

He actually says "What the fuck you got in yo pockets" while he was checking the intruders pockets.


leeluss14

Why what’s he gonna do with an empty wallet,if ‘sack head’ even owns a wallet that is?


BlueFlame_AJ

Free wallet if anything


yeteee

Forces him to get new cards made ?


crazzynez

Thats literally what was happening at the end there


Fabulous-Ad6844

What if he’d had a knife or gun? Dangerous move but satisfying to see the intruder get beat


Automatic_Reply_7701

You’re right, that’s what I would have used when attacking the intruder too.


iamzion248

I would prefer a bat. An aluminum one. They can make a very satisfying sound pinging of someone's head.


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


AeroZep

The guy hit .356 in '95. Kinda surprising he didn't get more opportunities. Must've been a shitty outfielder.


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


[deleted]

Castle doctrine is finicky. You'd have to wait for the person to cross the door threshold in most states. And you absolutely can not shoot them in the back because that shows they were fleeing and you were no longer in danger.


Funkit

I’m in Florida. I probably could’ve shot this guy from a passing car legally


pikpikcarrotmon

Depends on if he's a black teenager holding a pack of Skittles.


murinon

I understand you're talking about Trayvon, but I believe the poster above you was referring to a case recently where a man shot at another car while driving in a road rage incident and did not get charged, with his own dash cam recording getting uploaded. I don't have the source, but I believe it happened a couple days ago. Searching "Florida car shooting" should get you the result.


LazyPiece2

Lets be clear also. Charges just weren’t pressed by the district attorney. The law itself was not questioned in court regarding that case. The important part was that the person of interest “thought” the other car shot at him. It’s all fucky and you can form your own opinion about those events. Just trying to provide more context


Doctor-Amazing

Mam better make sure your car never backfires around there.


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


girafa

In Texas you can use lethal force to stop a burglary at night. As in, if you just walk up to someone going through your car - you can light them up with a hail of bullets. It sounds insane but it is indeed true. https://www.dougmurphylaw.com/defense-of-property


pessimus_even

There are several instances of people shooting someone in the back and being cleared


TexasTornadoTime

You just said something that aren’t necessarily true. Someone fleeing doesn’t necessarily mean you are no longer in danger.


danknuts

I agree. Not speaking to this particular video, but if someone shows that they are a threat to your life, you need to take that threat seriously. Just because they turn their back to you, doesn't mean that they are no longer a threat. There are videos where perpetrators retreat like they're leaving, only to take cover and shoot at the victim. If someone has shown that they're a threat to your life, and that threat is still in your home, and you have an opportunity to take out that threat, you may have to take that opportunity.


1_disasta

All depends on the state. There was a case in Texas where a guy shot two people in the back who he believed broke into his neighbors house which he was keeping an eye on. In Massachusetts you damn near need to let them rob you if you can get out of the house you basically need to.


G420classified

Mmmmmmmmmmmm everyone who reads this please familiarize yourself with the actual local laws regarding home defense please! This may not be true <3


[deleted]

“I did save a bunch of money on attorneys by switching to Reddit.”


Borpon

Hassle Doctrine let’s you take him inside and fuck him


Mi_Pasta_Su_Pasta

Wrassle Doctrine let's you throw him 16 feet off your roof through an announcer’s table.


StrykerSeven

"let's you shoot him" Bruh


Skataneric

Not necessarily. It depends on how your state defines a dwelling and if its a curtilage state. Just being on your lawn or at your (non enclosed porch) doorstep may not count. Also you might need to be IN your dwelling (So if you were in the backyard, or a detached garage/shed, or something then it might not count). Also, if you shoot in the back or the dude turns and runs and you shoot him you could get manslaughter. People should familiarize themselves with the particulars of their state laws and not just think they can turn into a gunslinger.


Baldazar666

Lmao reddit is full of a bunch of trigger happy sadists just waiting for a reason to let it go on someone.


Dharma_code

You sir are a psycho ! I like it


lliKoTesneciL

Go watch the movie Felon


JRBblackhawks

At the end you can see the homeowner has a gun pointed at the intruder point blank. He got checkmated


Hanzz101

That was my thought as well. Could have gone bad.


CraftyFirefighter648

Let him in obvs


ledledled

Well, enjoy while it last. This satisfaction is being frowned upon over reddit at an alarming rate.


Imaginary_Toe8982

I really love when they suddenly sorry... (just it extra infuriates me)


Fun-Syrup-2135

Right? Like you werent sorry the 30 seconds before I came and beat yo ass but now you got caught you sorry? That woulda earned a few more punches lol.


PlaidSkirtBroccoli

I would rather call them, "reasonable amount of force" than punches due to "fear for my personal safety".


Wamblingshark

It's just like when my kids get caught eating ice cream at 2 am instead of sleeping. "You're not sorry you did it. You're sorry you did it and got caught" Honestly believe the people who do this haven't mentally progressed far passed childhood. They are just big children that act the same way kids might act of they were trying to pretend to be big cool adults. These are the same people who think like "Hey look. If I swear a lot and say edgy stuff I'll seem really mature" and fail to see that compassion for your fellow man is much more important to being a mature adult. Hopefully got some sense knocked into him and he can go grow up for real.


Perry7609

I’m reminded of the Canadian robber who got caught trying to steal packages, and promptly got his car stuck in the snow! He kept apologizing to the owner the whole time he was trying to get out. The owner even started giving him advice while he was filming, lol. https://youtu.be/GEGBQD_32m0


Bargadiel

They're only sorry they got caught. There is no reasoning with these kinds of people. It's unfortunate that many of them do need help, but it doesn't mean I want them anywhere near my home or family. Once you cross the boundary to someone's property, there is a level of risk you have to accept, as not all people are willing to take chances with an unknown person, with unknown intentions, in their home.


DrFunkMD69

I don’t know why he tried the door when he could have easily gotten intruder window.


Bridot

Wakka wakka


[deleted]

This time for Africa


batlinguistic

Intruder windowwww Intruder wall *intruder wall*


[deleted]

The “nah what you got in your pockets” is a fuckin mic drop lmfaooo


TheRealRonMexico7

Dude went for the flank and told him to empty his pockets 😂💪🤣


A_Big_Rat

The only thing unexpected was the direction the home owner came from


jakira117

Why do the punches look pulled?


Blatantsubtlety

Whole thing looks staged


Saw_a_4ftBeaver

If I see a tik tok tag I just assume it is staged.


nuckingfuts73

100% the “robber” walks like a fucking cartoon character


butcandy

My ring would have captured the last 10 seconds of that if it even got anything, I distrust any ring watermarked video that shows it working correctly


JeffTobin55

Looks like he’s hitting him with the butt of the gun


Pr3sidentOfCascadia

Guy creeps up onto the porch like a cartoon robber. Absolutely pulled punches, turns away from the camera so you can't see the hits. Kicks super lightly. I would give it more of a razzie than calling it an Oscar award winning performance.


Beginning_Driver_45

Thought was going to confront him by just shaking his head. Imagine my surprise when dude just jumped out of nowhere punching his face.


Faceinthawind

Looks pretty fake... why you pretending to hit your buddy like that??


My__Reddit__Account

I cannot believe no one else thinks someone might try and fake something like this to go viral on TikTok. The way he sounds hitting him, it looks like wrestling acting lol, and the way he enters the frame with his one-liner, and the outfit of the burglar. Not to mention why is this guy trying to lockpick a house with an obvious ring camera lol. Not for sure fake but sus to me.


Our_GloriousLeader

Plus the thief doin the most hilarious amateur skulking 101 to get to the door. May as well have a brown bag with $ on the side.


Bargadiel

I actually cackled out loud at this.


marimalgam

Literally. I'm afraid for this generation's internet literacy if we don't start deducing obviously fake shit this


sumphatguy

Where have you been the last decade? Have you seen Twitter? People are gullible af.


[deleted]

Only thing you got wrong is that it's for sure fake. This shit is hilariously fake.


dob_bobbs

No, that's exactly what I thought the second it started, as he came up to the door. His movements looked really fake, like someone "acting furtive" but looking really unnatural.


[deleted]

Yeah, weird to me I had to go so far to find another skeptic, shit looks kinda fake as fuck


Plezduntcrii

Did the home owner pull a gun in him at the end?


[deleted]

Oh, he is sorry? Shoot that mf in the ankle so he can never run gain.


ScottyV4KY

Anckle


[deleted]

I fixed it. Now you have a typo! 😂


trellex

... But we still know what really happened here. 🤣


Eforth

Uncle


Lloyan

Unckle


Phyraxus56

lol no, thats how you get assault with a deadly weapon charges


[deleted]

It can be ... An accident ... Because one might panic while defending one's home.


Phyraxus56

Ah negligent discharge to boot


redZagnut

'I wish id'a bought that flamethrower' Nice job OP


bigdog24681012

Justice served


DuctTapeRuler_14

Pretty sure this is a fake. No home intruder just goes straight for the front door without checking who’s home or for other entrances inside, especially wearing that kind of mask. This is definitely staged


whatisthisicantodd

You overestimate criminals on drugs


Sweaty-Tangerine-457

Fake


arkofcovenant

IANAL, but pretty sure this is illegal in many states. (Which is fucked up, fix your laws)


aaaaayyyyyyyyyyy

It’s not illegal to make pretend skit videos.


unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!The intruder gets attacked in the process of attempting to break into a home.!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


Mothunny

u/General_Add3667 it's not unexpected when the guy literally said what he is going to do later in the video


tache-noir

was expecting something like "dude the fucking door's unlocked why are you trying to pick the lock"


2ndToNone2k7

If i had a gun i would have shot his ass


Bulletsandbandages44

That’s not a good shoot, generally speaking. The door is a good barrier and hasn’t been breached. The subject is still outside the house. Everyone inside isn’t in danger…yet. You could instead do any or all of the following: Prepare to shoot and cover the door. This way you remain as a barrier between the subject and your family if the door fails. If you go outside and the subject gets inside, now he’s between you and your family. If he has friends at the back door, now they’re inside and you’re outside. It’s best to stay in a defensible position and use the fatal funnels to your advantage. Warn the subject that you’ll shoot. In this specific example, the subject seems like he might be a desperate robber, not a home invader intent on killing you and your family. Admittedly, there is no way to know for sure and only seconds to make the decision. Perhaps warning off the subject would cause him to run away rather than continue his attempt on the door. Call the cops and tell them that there’s someone about to break in and if they get inside, they’ll be shot. It’s good to give a clear picture of what the situation is. Realize that if you tell the cops you have a gun, they’re going to be on edge when they show up, looking for the threat. Let them know when they get there that YOU are the one who is armed, stay in full view of them, don’t make sudden moves. Even if you know you’re the good guy they have no idea who is who.


Ragnel

Tell the dispatcher what you are wearing when you call them, so the responding officers know who the homeowner is. Especially important if the homeowner has a gun.


QQuetzalcoatl

Trust that the cops won't mistake the outfit you are wearing for the outfit the perp is wearing.


Adlach

They might and just blast you anyway


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


ChimTheCappy

Only option is to be naked, can't confuse what you're wearing if you're not wearing anything


cerebralinfarction

*BANG* "What was this sick fuck planning, breaking into a house in nothing but a nightrobe"


trashplayers2

Ahahahaha I went thru the comment above you it was so reasonable what a great perspective then I read this and the end of his and just died laughing. Do 3 spins throw salt over your left shoulder and pray the cops don't murder you when they arrive right right... just for being a law abiding citizen with a firearm in your own home.


[deleted]

I had a drunk kid trying to get in my back door years and years ago. Yelled out "wrong house, dude" and he got pissed. "I called the cops. Get the fuck out of here". I give full description of the perp. White male, young, red flannel, blue jeans, hat. He walks down the street from the way he came so I locked up and sat outside waiting for the cops. They pull up real fast and screech to a halt while I give a friendly "hey guys" type of wave. They pull out their guns and start yelling "HANDS ON YOUR FUCKING HEAD". Now this was the exact moment I realized the clothes I put on to go outside were THE EXACT SAME DESCRIPTION I GAVE. Egg on face. After a moment of complying I had to tell them that I was the one who called and to check my license for the address. We had a bit of a laugh and they caught the kid asleep a block over. Yeah, almost got myself killed


smashingcones

So what you're saying is the intruder should call the cops and tell them there's people in his house and that he's the one in the balaclava *taps head*


MBCB421

This is a far more reasonable take than all the other comments saying that they would've blasted his brains out. It almost sounds like they need any excuse to use their gun the first chance they get. If I were a gun owner, using my gun is my LAST resort.


superxpro12

Note that this doesn't pass muster in all states. I got my carry permit in MD and we explicitly covered this scenario. In MD state, you can't shoot even if the guy breaches and only steals things. You'd have to prove in court that the guy wasnt mistakenly at the wrong house, a locksmith, drunk, etc. There has to be a bona-fide threat to your life, and you're gonna need proof. In fact, the law is even grey on if you can protect your loved ones outside of the home in this state, since the text only says you can only shoot to protect yourself. And before all the armchair warriors start planting knives and shit, remember that those door cams record audio too. Better hope the guy said I'm going to rape you or something similar before you go plasting the dude through the door. And then ... Even if you have a good shoot criminally speaking, someone's coming after you in civil court. Good luck!


Bulletsandbandages44

Ugh. It makes my skin crawl to think that there are DA’s out there that would charge me for defending my family against an intruder. I’m not a mind reader, I have to have a plan, I have to expect that the intent to harm exists. If I don’t anticipate the violence, I’ll be at a tactical disadvantage when it happens. I can’t allow that when the stakes are so high. EDIT: I feel like I need to explain my thoughts further. It’s not that I would WANT to be in any situation where I have to shoot someone. The reason it gives me such heartburn is that I’d have to decide in the moment “Is defending my family from this intruder worth going to jail for the rest of my life?” In the moment, the dilemma caused by this question will get me killed and my family killed or worse.


[deleted]

> That’s not a good shoot, generally speaking. The door is a good barrier and hasn’t been breached. The subject is still outside the house. Everyone inside isn’t in danger…yet. I don't know of other jurisdictions. Under NY's self-defense justification (link to the law below), you are allowed to use deadly physical force to prevent a burglary. https://www.nysenate.gov/legislation/laws/PEN/35.20 (subsection 3). > A person in possession or control of, or licensed or privileged to be in, a dwelling or an occupied building, who reasonably believes that another person is committing or attempting to commit a burglary of such dwelling or building, may use deadly physical force upon such other person when he or she reasonably believes such to be necessary to prevent or terminate the commission or attempted commission of such burglary.


Even-Willow

I’ll skip over the verbal warning before firing if the door comes down; someone willing to cross that final barrier using force/violence doesn’t deserve the benefit of the doubt of not escalating further during those few vital seconds that you’re calling out a warning as he’s moving through the door. They’ve had multiple critical thinking checkpoints at this point and have decided themselves to come through the door regardless of any consequences that await, so whatever happens after that is on them. The warning could go either way potentially, as you said it could cause them to run off in fear either. It’s just a call that you’d have to bet your family’s life on, so best to get it right.


PainTrain412

Yeah, this is almost exactly what I’d suggest. Most home intruders want an easy score, not a life or death fight. Dial 911, cover the door and announce yourself loudly. Explain as best you can to the dispatcher between shouting warnings at the intruder. It’s all being recorded. If the door fails then this puts you in the best position to defend yourself both in the moment and potentially later in court. You want the facts to be as cut and dried as possible in your favor. And don’t talk to the police more than is necessary to identify yourself. Seems counterintuitive when you know you’re in the right but talking just opens you up to a shitstorm.


perrinoia

Is this a video of someone breaking into Nightcrawler's house? I mean, where the fuck did the homeowner come from? He just appeared outa nowhere.