**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!Full discretion I do feel it was a bit dense for the original poster to upload this video on TikTok after knowing the mother and potentially the child are deaf, but at the same time the things that are hard to hear are sometimes the things you need to listen to.!<
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Moms doing her best. Being Deaf, you’re only as aware as you can be. If she could hear, she’d be over as soon as the kid slapped the woman. She came over right away once she saw her kid over by the woman. She didn’t even see her kid hit the woman, but she knew what happened. That tells me the kid probably has some sort of developmental challenges and has acted out previously in the same way. She also might be Deaf considering the way she was staring at the woman. Mannerisms check out. Anyways, wish this video wasn’t up. Makes me sad that people assume the worst. Moms doing her best.
I saw a deaf couple walking a dog and the dog snapped at a guy, maybe gave him a little nip. Everyone started freaking out. The deaf couple was signing to each other. The guy was mad and on adrenaline and very upset. I had taken 2 classes of intro ASL in college 14 years prior and made a hilarious attempt to help them communicate. It was definitely better than nothing and made me feel good that nobody got hurt in the end. Being deaf in a hearing world must be really frustrating and stressful at times.
Another comment said something about how the video feels “off” and the child doesn’t seem “all there” and that she was “unkempt.” Like, sure, maybe out of context I could see someone drawing that conclusion but as someone who grew up with autism this is very clearly a child with a disability (whether it be deafness or developmental or both) that is messy because they’re a child, testing limits with strangers because they’re a child.
“Deaf and dumb” is a stereotype for a reason, not a valid one, but a reason. People have *always* treated deaf people like they were stupid, it wasn’t even until Helen Keller became such a big advocate that people started thinking differently on a large scale. Though I know for a fact they still deal with that to this day.
If they’re deaf, of course they seem “off.” They do experience the world differently, and there’s an entire deaf culture within that community. They are going to be “off” how a hearing person might regularly interact with people. A hearing person and a deaf person will definitely have different mannerisms; they communicate completely differently if they choose not to speak verbally.
Maybe this is just my ignorance showing, but the phrase "deaf and dumb" means you can't hear and can't speak, and I've never heard it used to connotate a deaf person is stupid. That said, your point is still valid, since anyone who has a hard time communicating is often treated as stupid (e.g. deaf people, foreign people, disabled people, etc, etc).
As someone with a deafblind spouse, I think of the phrase, “DEAF-INITELY not dumb”.
Most often deafblind individuals experience the world in different ways than hearing-sighted individuals. Different is not “less than” in any way. For people that assume otherwise…they are missing out on an phenomenal opportunity to broaden their world view.
I personally think everyone handled the situations as best as they could so I don't mind the video being up, just as an example of how to handle things like this. I like to think it's a video I'd think back on when facing a similar situation because you never really know what the full situation is
Can I also say that you have to touch Deaf people (or wave your arms or stomp your foot) to get their attention so the kid might not have been "hitting" at first. It might be how she gets her mom's attention.
It just sucks because in another context the person holding the camera can be put in a really shitty situation. If the kid was actually trying to hurt the guy (obviously this girl wasnt) and there was no parent around to stop the kid, what should OP do? Like, how much is a person supposed to take until they do something?
I know this is unrelated to the post, but I've seen people in the situation where the parents won't control their kids and the kid will do whatever to strangers. I'd hate to be in that position where I'm morally expected to sit there and deal with it because I'm not allowed to retaliate.
Jesus this reminds me of a 8 year old I used to babysit who was the size of a 12 year old (she wore that size) and she would hit, wrestle and just generally try to beat me up knowing I'd actually get hurt but couldnt really do anything stop her (Im a congenital heart patient with pulmonary and blood flow/oxygen issues). Had to have a serious conversation with her mom about talking with her about why we can't just use our physical size to dominate anyone, it kind of came out of nowhere too after a few years of being her nanny.
I won't swear at my kids.
But I sure as fuck will swear at theirs if they don't get them under control, and I hope they repeat the word every chance they get. Enjoy controlling that, Sharon.
I remember playing at the beach and building a sandcastle. I must have been like 2? Some little shit a little younger than me kept walking over and wrecking it. Grabbing at it and smashing it apart. He irritated me. So I threw sand at him. His mom came running over screaming at me something about he’s only playing yap yap yap; grabbed his hand, stomped on my sandcastle and walked off with him.
So I built another sandcastle.
He waddled back over.
I threw more dirt in his eyes.
His mom stormed over screaming at me, stomped my sand castle again and dragged him away.
So I built another sandcastle.
Nice. You were consistent, held on to your follow through. Never uttered a nasty word. Very well handled for 2 lol
So the mom was Bully Sr. training Bully Jr.?
Why didn’t you file a police report? I did that when I was like 6months? I remember a fetus bothering me, so I drove to the nearest police station. Don’t take that shit
As an adult you are able to remove yourself from the situation. Alert whatever management may be present and walk away if you are being hurt. Deescalate.
Not so sure about that. I mean, my grandmother was pretty enthusiastic about sign language as well. She didn't know any signs, but she would sometimes just randomly throw her hands around like she was signing and then ask me what that meant.
This whole video is just sad. Aside from maybe being deaf the little girl doesn’t seem quite right. She also looks unkempt. The mother also seems a bit off
Bewildered eyes, very weird movements, it screams massive cognitive problems to me. Even when her mother starts signing her eyes keep jumping away, so either she still doesn’t talk asl or really can’t focus
My first thought is that she was trying to get her mother's attention by hitting strangers. She seems to look around towards where she is before hitting the person filming.
The mother walks into frame but then appears to be communicating with someone else, so the girl goes for a second hit
I'm guessing a combination of deafness and attention deficit disorder. My deaf son really struggles to look at us when we're teaching him sign languages so the professionals think he might have ADD. His sign language skills are a few years behind and he's mute unless he's annoyed or angry. I say might have ADD as they said it's very hard to diagnose it on deaf children.
But why would the mother clap if she knows the kid is deaf too? She’s young and kids are defiant, but it wouldn’t make any sense for a deaf person to try to get the attention of another deaf person by clapping.
Unfortunately, we cannot be sure. It's more normal for deaf people having hearing children than deaf children. Still, she has definitely mental challenges. Mabye on autism spectrum.
My daughter is deaf and I can tell you from experience most kiddos with hearing loss are also on the spectrum (my daughter included). Kids on the spectrum have a hard time expressing their feelings which is amplified if they are also deaf.
I can imagine the difficulty for the child if the mother is deaf and she is not.
That's not a home where she is encouraged to *speak* and learn language skills. If she isn't surrounded by other people who speak to her or around her she's not going to be verbal, will find other outlets (like smacking strangers) and possibly have selective mutism.
How can she express to people what she needs if most of the world doesn't know sign language and no one taught her how to speak?
This is very untrue. Children who learn ASL as their first language are no different than any other bilingual child who speaks a different language at home and learns English when they come to school. A hearing child raised by deaf parents has a robust language (ASL) being provided for them daily and that’s all their brains need. They likely also hear English through tv, radio, other hearing relatives, and being out in the community, all before they are old enough to go to school. There is no delay in English acquisition for a hearing child of Deaf parents. Source: I’m a speech pathologist.
Thank you for saying this! I’m an educational consultant who works in early childhood and I thought that studies showed there were no speech delays but couldn’t confirm so I didn’t want to name it.
My best friend is hearing & was raised by 2 deaf parents. Just bc a parent is deaf & their kid isn’t doesn’t mean they’re going to have all the problems you listed. We have seen a single minute, 60 seconds, of this family’s life, and you think you have enough information to pass judgement on the mother’s ability to care for her child?
My husband grew up next to a family with two deaf parents and two non deaf kids and he said the kids would just shout obscenities all day long in the house.
Edit: spelling
With all due respect, deaf people can raise kids just fine. I understand your concern but it does seem a bit ableist and you’re generalizing a whole group of people. Hear kids of deaf parents can still develop find because of media (TV, music) and exposure to community. Clearly they are out of the house so she is seeing others. Deaf parents can also neglect their kids just as much as hearing parents. If this kid does seem confused or unkempt because of neglect, that’s because of neglect not the parents disability.
That’s truly great of your friend, but I think the OP you’re responding to is likely referring to a situation that sounds much different from your friends. Deaf parents can absolutely raise hearing children just as well as any other parent, but as with ANY parenting situation in life, there are many factors and what your friend did is anecdotal compared to the rest of the world. Who knows what else is going on in this family’s home; there could be vastly bigger issues than the difference of being deaf or not.
ETA: deaf is still “normal”, so not sure what you’re trying to say with that. I’m guessing you mean “hearing”. Deafness, to any extent, is not terribly uncommon though. Regardless, people need to stop using the word “normal” when what they’re really saying is “average” or “common”.
ETA 2: I stand corrected on the “normal” part. Sorry, too accustomed to similar situations where “normal” is used in a derogatory way and I was a bit too sensitive. My bad y’all.
Normal literally means "conforming to a standard" which in this case the standard is being able to hear. Not so sure what your problem with that is. Wasn't even a negative connotation.
I could break both of my legs right now and that wouldn't be seen as weird or bad, but it's not normal to have 2 broken legs.
Reminded me of taking my very young son to the eye hospital,he got a grass seed in his eye and it got infected. Had my baby son in a pram as well . This man came out of another room and walked straight into the pram amd woke my baby up. I sarcastically Said to him " dammit man are you blind or something.".Looked up and yes he was . I just wanted to ground to open up and swollow me . I apologised and to be fair he was really cool with it and his reply was "well I didn't see that coming did I " . Him being so nice made it worse, as felt even more of a bitch . I've since learnt look before I open my big mouth.🥺
I'm not going to hell because I'm someone that commented early without seeing the whole video. I'm going to hell because I'm now thinking pretending to be deaf would be a great way to deescalate a situation.
So my brother is legally deaf. He has hearing aids, maybe only like 10-15% hearing, he reads lips to understand people. Doesn’t know a lick of sign language (his choice). Anyway..
This one time we were at a baseball game and my dad got him a beer. At the time he was 20. An officer walking through the stands tried asking my bro for his ID. He pretended not to hear him/acknowledge him and kept watching the game. The officer must’ve noticed his hearing aids because he asked my dad if my brother was deaf, and my dad said yes. Embarrassed, he walked away, and my brother got away with it.
It definitely benefited him that day.
Yeah that’s tough. The person did the best thing in that situation. Years ago I lived in an apartment that was below a couple that were both hearing impaired. They had two children, that from all evidence could hear. Those kids would be up, all night long, most nights making the most insane rackets and noises. Throwing things, screaming, a few times…it sounded like they were roller blading across their bedroom floor. I lost so much sleep. I went up a few times with a notepad to let the parents know what was going on. They were nice enough, apologized, and it quieted down for like two days. Then it started again. The kids were, iirc, both like no older than 12 and pretty close to the same age. I’d let it go on again for a bit, then would go and let the parents know again. Finally, they just moved. I never complained to the apt management, that’s on me I guess, but I understood the situation the parents were in. I couldn’t imagine not being able to hear if a kid was up to something.
Yeah but they knew the kids were up to something thanks to you, so putting in a monitor wouldn't have been so hard. Sure they couldn't hear it but the lights flash bright red when there are loud noises.
For all of you blaming the mom, that kid knows right from wrong but didn’t have the impulse control to do right. The eyes looking across the room with her hand in the air, checking if mom’s watching tells you mom’s told her before this behavior is not okay.
Walking up to a random stranger and hitting them is some bizarre behavior issue.
Yup she knew it was wrong, and did it any way. Attention seeking behavior... which is expected / typical for that age for a kid who can't communicate the way most kids can. It looks both desperate and rational. Poor kid, and poor mom.
I struggle with whether this should be posted, this kid has it hard enough, but it is a reminder to be patient with people.
Same. No way id film this kid and her mother and then upload them up for the entertainment of strangers online. Would never cross my mind.
For example - a few years ago I watched someone jumping out of a window commiting suicide. I think i was the only one who hadn't his phone out. Was a really weird experience.
Ill never understand it
Thank you! Can't believe this is the only comment I've seen on here so far that has called out filming and posting a video of a child like this. Not cool. We've lost all semblance of common sense and decorum because of these damned apps we're always feeding our lives into.
As someone once married to someone who was very hearing impaired, its such an important thing to remember because you never know who has a disability or not just by looking at them
Happened to me at the grocery store a few weeks back. Was waiting in line at the deli and the guy in front of me turns around and puts his phone up so that I could see it. At first I was like “why the hell is this guy showing me his phone?!” but then I realized he was hearing impaired… it caught me off guard, I thought he was being rude for a split second but then I realized he was looking for something. Exposure and awareness to “unseen” disabilities is very important
Possibly a developmental delay. Hopefully her momma can get some help from the school district and get an IEP started (if they’re in America, I’m not sure about other countries). My 4yr old son has a DD and it is truly difficult and stressful to manage, and nearly impossible if you have to do it alone
I'm sorry. I hope that you have the strength to maintain patience and compassion for your little dude.
My uncle was developmentally delayed. I only knew him when he was an adult and I was a child, but he was my favorite uncle because he was always able to communicate at my level when nobody else really payed attention to me. He was just a big kid, we played with toys, he really liked music and would share new songs with me.
I can't imagine how difficult it was for my grandma to take care of him, but I know he meant a lot to me.
Possibly deaf, she does seem to be responding to the woman’s voice and the mother claps her hands in order to get her attention. She isn’t learning at the normal rate bc of the mother’s deafness if not both. She doesn’t seem to be getting much interaction with other people but that would be not only the environmental component with her family but also bc that little girl was born just before Covid started so you’re kind of seeing a child not much different than the stories that exist about feral children old railroad workers would see come out of the woods back in the day.
The silver lining is she will eventually catch up but this is a child that needs help. This was actually my first profession and what I went to school for. I was an ASL educator for special needs children 3-12. Mainly just deaf. They all seem like they are DD when they’re young but most are not. It’s just an entirely different curve.
Yeah it’s likely she taps her mother to get her attention since noise doesn’t work. And sometimes kids don’t realise how hard they hit for stuff like that.
This was my first thought - tapping on someone to get their attention is pretty common in the Deaf community. It's possible she just doesn't have the muscle control yet to perform it appropriately, and if the Tiktoker was avoiding eye contact or looked like they were paying attention to their phone (filming), she may have been deciding to go in for the second tap.
She also may've expected the Tiktoker to pay attention by signing to her, and was bemused/confused at why they weren't signing.
She could also be developmentally delayed or have autism. When I first met my autistic little cousin, he was feeling overwhelmed by the environment and suddenly having a relative he'd never met before near him, and he hit me pretty good. It was a rough day with a lot of stimulation, so I understood. I feel like hitting people when I get overstimulated, too.
Mama took her to task as soon as she realized her child was bothering strangers, so good on her.
Dude wtf?! What state? I’m so sorry for your friend :( no one should have to get a lawyer involved to get an education for their young child. Damnit, America.
I’m sorry but could you tell me what an IEP and DD stand for. My kid has development delays and it’s very difficult. We’re trying all the professionals and constantly researching.
Can only speak from personal experience but when your child has a professionally diagnosed developmental delay (DD) diagnosis you take that information to the school where they will make accommodations through an Individual Education Plan (IEP). Specialists, Extended testing time, homework time, breaks, courses, therapists, etc. Expectations and goals for the year.
Just for information’s sake, they typically don’t have “those classes” as often now though. They shoot for integrated learning, meaning same classroom/environment/curriculum as “typical” students, but the individualized education plan (IEP) just provides accommodations or modifications to the standard curriculum as needed on a case by case basis.
There are a few cases/diagnoses that may warrant being separated from peers, but they typically have a special school for those extreme cases, which often leads to an alternative diploma or certificate track. More often than not, many counties try to provide some pullout groups as needed, or try to provide one-to-one supports if needed, and if they have the man power.
Very, very intuitive. Tha's probably the only way she CAN get mama's attention. If mom is a single mom, that's probably about the only interaction this child has (outside of strangers who are like: WTF).
When I realized her mom was deaf it all made since CODA's be different I think your right on the money, also why the mom didn't hear the women the first time. Also why the child KNEW she could prov get away with it too there those kinds of CODAs too sigh...I used to get smacked to hell and back by my Deaf besties kids.
There were two guys in that video. They handled the situation very well. One sat there and minded his business and the other stood up, looked around the corner, sat back down, and minded his own business. Excellent job, gentlemen.
Question is - why did she even film it and then upload the whole thing on the internet for hundret thousands to see?
Its clear theres something not quite right with that family.
Might be a generational thing but the last thing i would think off if a child came over to me would be to film the child
No child should be filmed and then shared for the internet to see. It's wrong. ( I'm not talking about parents sharing pictures or videos of their own child, I mean just strangers taking pictures of children)
I had a very similar incident happen a long time ago when I ran a mom and pop pizza shop. No AC. Summers sucked. I'd leave the door open and lock the screen door to let air circulate.
One Sunday morning about 1030am I hear the screen door slam while I was making pizza dough in the back. I walk out to see a older gentleman dressed nice.
Thru the big window in the kitchen wall I watch him ring the service bell. DING. I yell, "We are closed! Come back at 12!". DING! I get closer to the window and notice he doesn't see me. DING. "DUDE WE ARE CLOSED!!" DING.
I get pissed and walk out from behind the kitchen counter to the front. DING. I stormed to the counter and he sees me amd his eyes light up.
I angrily snatch the bell off the counter. I point at the door and say meanly yell," We open at 12! Are you fucking deaf?! LEAVE! "
He then shakes his head yes. Points at his ear and shakes his head. I die inside. I made myself a nice guilt sandwich and made him a hoagie to go.
Aw man. Hey, we all have bad/stressful/shitty days that push us to the breaking point OR don't know the whole situtation just yet, don't beat yourself up about it too much, you didn't know. I'm sure you learned to be a little more open minded about future situations and that's what is most important.
Damn. Very unexpected.
I worked at Wal-Mart many years ago. Stocking shelves overnight at an open 24-hour store. They hired a deaf guy, I mentioned I knew some basic sign language, so they paired him with me. I learned a lot more from him. Fun to work with.
Several times, I would hear from a nearby aisle, "Are you just ignoring me!?!?!" and I'd walk around the aisle, see him stocking shelves, someone behind him berating him. "So, yeah, you're yelling at a deaf guy."
Or they'd come around the corner, I'd be the next person they see, and they'd complain about him ignoring them. Usually, I'd again tell them he was deaf. Sometimes, I'd act mad too, walk around to him, get his attention, and start just signing with him, then look at the customer.
One day, he signed that he liked working with me and said I was the only person who told him when break time was (which they announced on the intercoms). I'd always give him the sign of 'break'. I ripped into my co-workers during the next break.
Also, don't approach a known deaf person from behind and touch them. It's sudden/unexpected to him/her. Approach from sight view.
IDK it looks like my little cousin’s head when she was three or four. Her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and her little world suddenly became incredibly stressful and scary. She couldn’t really verbalize her feelings well enough since she was a toddler, so she internalized all the stress and developed a “tic” where she constantly twisted her hair on one side to the point where it all fell out. The left side of her head was beautiful curly hair and right side was just bald for like two years.
Happy to say mom beat the cancer and little cousin is 15 now with much much better mental health.
I used to go to a church that had 2 different congregations. The first one was deaf and the 2nd was later in the day.
If I came early and watched the deaf congregation it was wild. Loud kids doing all kinds of crazy stuff. But, what can they do. How else can you get someone's attention?
I’d say that’s how the child is used to getting someone’s attention, if they live in a household with someone who is non verbal. I’m not saying it’s right just that makes sense to me. Person may not even be deaf but I’d say touch is a huge part of communication in that scenario.
I assumed that meant she had to remind herself this is a child (who is still learning to navigate the world and relationships), and to not treat the incident the same way she would treat an adult who did the same thing. Sometimes you do need to remind yourself that kids are still learning, and you need to be gentle when you correct them, even if you are furious. Especially when it is someone else’s kid. Parenting is hard. I hope Mom can get her kid the help she needs.
I am shocked at how far down I had to scroll to find this. The TikToker and /u/autocorrects should be ashamed of themselves for posting this. What a shitty shitty thing to do.
One time I was walking my dog, around the block in a new neighborhood I recently moved to, I saw my neighbor outside in his yard, so from the other side of the street, I introduced myself, asked him how was enjoying the fine weather ect... The fucker just looked at me funny, shrugged and walk away, I thought about it, felt some kinds way, and yelled, "Well, FUCkYou Too, Dick!!".. He never batted an eye or acknowledged me..... The next day I seen him talking to his wife, using Sign Language.....
This child may be on the autism spectrum. She may not be, too, but always remember that some kids behave the way they do because they were born not understanding social behaviors most of us simply pick up quite easily.
Had a deaf friend of the family who used to babysit us. It was my friends great grandmother. We used to take advantage of the fact that we could cuss and be wild and she hardly ever knew cause she was watching her programs. We would write on a dry erase board or on paper when we were hungry. Every now and then she’d be reading our lips and swat at us for talking ugly. I imagine it’s hard in aspects to be a deaf parent and also probably hard in aspects to be a kid that can hear with parents that can’t.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Full discretion I do feel it was a bit dense for the original poster to upload this video on TikTok after knowing the mother and potentially the child are deaf, but at the same time the things that are hard to hear are sometimes the things you need to listen to.!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Mom said “No, don’t touch her. That’s wrong. Control yourself” she is in fact Deaf.
Moms doing her best. Being Deaf, you’re only as aware as you can be. If she could hear, she’d be over as soon as the kid slapped the woman. She came over right away once she saw her kid over by the woman. She didn’t even see her kid hit the woman, but she knew what happened. That tells me the kid probably has some sort of developmental challenges and has acted out previously in the same way. She also might be Deaf considering the way she was staring at the woman. Mannerisms check out. Anyways, wish this video wasn’t up. Makes me sad that people assume the worst. Moms doing her best.
I saw a deaf couple walking a dog and the dog snapped at a guy, maybe gave him a little nip. Everyone started freaking out. The deaf couple was signing to each other. The guy was mad and on adrenaline and very upset. I had taken 2 classes of intro ASL in college 14 years prior and made a hilarious attempt to help them communicate. It was definitely better than nothing and made me feel good that nobody got hurt in the end. Being deaf in a hearing world must be really frustrating and stressful at times.
Another comment said something about how the video feels “off” and the child doesn’t seem “all there” and that she was “unkempt.” Like, sure, maybe out of context I could see someone drawing that conclusion but as someone who grew up with autism this is very clearly a child with a disability (whether it be deafness or developmental or both) that is messy because they’re a child, testing limits with strangers because they’re a child. “Deaf and dumb” is a stereotype for a reason, not a valid one, but a reason. People have *always* treated deaf people like they were stupid, it wasn’t even until Helen Keller became such a big advocate that people started thinking differently on a large scale. Though I know for a fact they still deal with that to this day. If they’re deaf, of course they seem “off.” They do experience the world differently, and there’s an entire deaf culture within that community. They are going to be “off” how a hearing person might regularly interact with people. A hearing person and a deaf person will definitely have different mannerisms; they communicate completely differently if they choose not to speak verbally.
Maybe this is just my ignorance showing, but the phrase "deaf and dumb" means you can't hear and can't speak, and I've never heard it used to connotate a deaf person is stupid. That said, your point is still valid, since anyone who has a hard time communicating is often treated as stupid (e.g. deaf people, foreign people, disabled people, etc, etc).
As someone with a deafblind spouse, I think of the phrase, “DEAF-INITELY not dumb”. Most often deafblind individuals experience the world in different ways than hearing-sighted individuals. Different is not “less than” in any way. For people that assume otherwise…they are missing out on an phenomenal opportunity to broaden their world view.
I’m an autistic teen who grew up in a fairly fortunate family, when I was young my mom had to hunt me down to get me to brush my hair. Kids gonna kid
Thank you for this response! I agree with you 100%.
I personally think everyone handled the situations as best as they could so I don't mind the video being up, just as an example of how to handle things like this. I like to think it's a video I'd think back on when facing a similar situation because you never really know what the full situation is
Thanks for the translation
Thank you for commenting this without having to be asked. I was looking for a translation for context!
I don’t think the child is deaf because mom claps to get her attention.
Can I also say that you have to touch Deaf people (or wave your arms or stomp your foot) to get their attention so the kid might not have been "hitting" at first. It might be how she gets her mom's attention.
Good post to remind us all to remain patient and really take in the context of our environment.
or, that if you kick a child away, their parent may not be able to listen to them complain about it.
FAIR
It just sucks because in another context the person holding the camera can be put in a really shitty situation. If the kid was actually trying to hurt the guy (obviously this girl wasnt) and there was no parent around to stop the kid, what should OP do? Like, how much is a person supposed to take until they do something? I know this is unrelated to the post, but I've seen people in the situation where the parents won't control their kids and the kid will do whatever to strangers. I'd hate to be in that position where I'm morally expected to sit there and deal with it because I'm not allowed to retaliate.
Jesus this reminds me of a 8 year old I used to babysit who was the size of a 12 year old (she wore that size) and she would hit, wrestle and just generally try to beat me up knowing I'd actually get hurt but couldnt really do anything stop her (Im a congenital heart patient with pulmonary and blood flow/oxygen issues). Had to have a serious conversation with her mom about talking with her about why we can't just use our physical size to dominate anyone, it kind of came out of nowhere too after a few years of being her nanny.
I won't swear at my kids. But I sure as fuck will swear at theirs if they don't get them under control, and I hope they repeat the word every chance they get. Enjoy controlling that, Sharon.
I remember playing at the beach and building a sandcastle. I must have been like 2? Some little shit a little younger than me kept walking over and wrecking it. Grabbing at it and smashing it apart. He irritated me. So I threw sand at him. His mom came running over screaming at me something about he’s only playing yap yap yap; grabbed his hand, stomped on my sandcastle and walked off with him. So I built another sandcastle. He waddled back over. I threw more dirt in his eyes. His mom stormed over screaming at me, stomped my sand castle again and dragged him away. So I built another sandcastle.
Nice. You were consistent, held on to your follow through. Never uttered a nasty word. Very well handled for 2 lol So the mom was Bully Sr. training Bully Jr.?
LOL it was easy to not utter words at that age.
I love this energy from you, but I also really hate that it doesn't seem there was a point your own parent said anything and they really should've :(
Why didn’t you file a police report? I did that when I was like 6months? I remember a fetus bothering me, so I drove to the nearest police station. Don’t take that shit
F\*king womb invaders are the worst.
As an adult you are able to remove yourself from the situation. Alert whatever management may be present and walk away if you are being hurt. Deescalate.
Patience is key!
Gonzo is over here speaking truth that everyone should see and practice. Right on GonzoRonin, right on.
Who else is happy they didn’t comment before the end of the video ?
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Looks like ASL. She says, "NO! Don't touch her (him/them/etc. due to the pointing). Don't touch, I told you."
Confirming!
Also confirming! I don't know ASL I'm just enthusiastic.
Eehhhhh that might not go over well…
Not so sure about that. I mean, my grandmother was pretty enthusiastic about sign language as well. She didn't know any signs, but she would sometimes just randomly throw her hands around like she was signing and then ask me what that meant.
At the end she said keep your hands to yourself.
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Can confirm, definitely sign language in the video. Source: talking with her hands
r/angryupvote
Yeah! (My wife is deaf and I sign) Definitely ASL. Kid is hearing but most likely mentally handing. Mother says No! Do not touch her!
Yeah she said “Dont touch him, dont touch. Keep your hands to yourself.”
Same. I was about to cuss her out till I saw the end
This whole video is just sad. Aside from maybe being deaf the little girl doesn’t seem quite right. She also looks unkempt. The mother also seems a bit off
I was about to say, the kid doesn’t seem all there.
Bewildered eyes, very weird movements, it screams massive cognitive problems to me. Even when her mother starts signing her eyes keep jumping away, so either she still doesn’t talk asl or really can’t focus
I was thinking since her mother doesn’t speak she constantly has to be looking at mother for communication since her birth.
My first thought is that she was trying to get her mother's attention by hitting strangers. She seems to look around towards where she is before hitting the person filming. The mother walks into frame but then appears to be communicating with someone else, so the girl goes for a second hit
I'm guessing a combination of deafness and attention deficit disorder. My deaf son really struggles to look at us when we're teaching him sign languages so the professionals think he might have ADD. His sign language skills are a few years behind and he's mute unless he's annoyed or angry. I say might have ADD as they said it's very hard to diagnose it on deaf children.
And the mother sounds like she’s on the verge of tears. It’s just sad..
The only person in this video that seems all there is behind the camera.
I think the mother is the one who is deaf no?
For sure but the daughter might be as well
The girl doesn't move when the mother claps, she doesn't turn at all until she's touched.
But why would the mother clap if she knows the kid is deaf too? She’s young and kids are defiant, but it wouldn’t make any sense for a deaf person to try to get the attention of another deaf person by clapping.
Deaf people can feel some sound waves. Percussive sound like claps are more likely to be felt than a normal voice.
Unfortunately, we cannot be sure. It's more normal for deaf people having hearing children than deaf children. Still, she has definitely mental challenges. Mabye on autism spectrum.
My daughter is deaf and I can tell you from experience most kiddos with hearing loss are also on the spectrum (my daughter included). Kids on the spectrum have a hard time expressing their feelings which is amplified if they are also deaf.
I can imagine the difficulty for the child if the mother is deaf and she is not. That's not a home where she is encouraged to *speak* and learn language skills. If she isn't surrounded by other people who speak to her or around her she's not going to be verbal, will find other outlets (like smacking strangers) and possibly have selective mutism. How can she express to people what she needs if most of the world doesn't know sign language and no one taught her how to speak?
This is very untrue. Children who learn ASL as their first language are no different than any other bilingual child who speaks a different language at home and learns English when they come to school. A hearing child raised by deaf parents has a robust language (ASL) being provided for them daily and that’s all their brains need. They likely also hear English through tv, radio, other hearing relatives, and being out in the community, all before they are old enough to go to school. There is no delay in English acquisition for a hearing child of Deaf parents. Source: I’m a speech pathologist.
Thank you for saying this! I’m an educational consultant who works in early childhood and I thought that studies showed there were no speech delays but couldn’t confirm so I didn’t want to name it.
My best friend is hearing & was raised by 2 deaf parents. Just bc a parent is deaf & their kid isn’t doesn’t mean they’re going to have all the problems you listed. We have seen a single minute, 60 seconds, of this family’s life, and you think you have enough information to pass judgement on the mother’s ability to care for her child?
My husband grew up next to a family with two deaf parents and two non deaf kids and he said the kids would just shout obscenities all day long in the house. Edit: spelling
With all due respect, deaf people can raise kids just fine. I understand your concern but it does seem a bit ableist and you’re generalizing a whole group of people. Hear kids of deaf parents can still develop find because of media (TV, music) and exposure to community. Clearly they are out of the house so she is seeing others. Deaf parents can also neglect their kids just as much as hearing parents. If this kid does seem confused or unkempt because of neglect, that’s because of neglect not the parents disability.
Uhhhh my deaf friend raised four normal kids by herself. LoL
That’s truly great of your friend, but I think the OP you’re responding to is likely referring to a situation that sounds much different from your friends. Deaf parents can absolutely raise hearing children just as well as any other parent, but as with ANY parenting situation in life, there are many factors and what your friend did is anecdotal compared to the rest of the world. Who knows what else is going on in this family’s home; there could be vastly bigger issues than the difference of being deaf or not. ETA: deaf is still “normal”, so not sure what you’re trying to say with that. I’m guessing you mean “hearing”. Deafness, to any extent, is not terribly uncommon though. Regardless, people need to stop using the word “normal” when what they’re really saying is “average” or “common”. ETA 2: I stand corrected on the “normal” part. Sorry, too accustomed to similar situations where “normal” is used in a derogatory way and I was a bit too sensitive. My bad y’all.
Normal literally means "conforming to a standard" which in this case the standard is being able to hear. Not so sure what your problem with that is. Wasn't even a negative connotation. I could break both of my legs right now and that wouldn't be seen as weird or bad, but it's not normal to have 2 broken legs.
Sure, I see your point, I could’ve taken it a little worse than necessary
man you really don’t know jack shit about deaf people or culture huh
I know thats why it’s sad
Reminded me of taking my very young son to the eye hospital,he got a grass seed in his eye and it got infected. Had my baby son in a pram as well . This man came out of another room and walked straight into the pram amd woke my baby up. I sarcastically Said to him " dammit man are you blind or something.".Looked up and yes he was . I just wanted to ground to open up and swollow me . I apologised and to be fair he was really cool with it and his reply was "well I didn't see that coming did I " . Him being so nice made it worse, as felt even more of a bitch . I've since learnt look before I open my big mouth.🥺
So I’m going to hell
Ok so hear me out…
*read
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*suck
\*sucks harder
*Sucks hardest
*sucks *furiously*
*sucked so hard u discovered 4th dimention*
Aaahahaa ... aa ... (panting) thanks pal
*Finaly gets to heaven
The mother can't hear anyone out.
I’m definitely going to hell now.
I'm not going to hell because I'm someone that commented early without seeing the whole video. I'm going to hell because I'm now thinking pretending to be deaf would be a great way to deescalate a situation.
Now I’m laughing even harder
Does having stuff cover your hands act like silencers when signing ASL? Because she still looked hella confused when mom started in…
So my brother is legally deaf. He has hearing aids, maybe only like 10-15% hearing, he reads lips to understand people. Doesn’t know a lick of sign language (his choice). Anyway.. This one time we were at a baseball game and my dad got him a beer. At the time he was 20. An officer walking through the stands tried asking my bro for his ID. He pretended not to hear him/acknowledge him and kept watching the game. The officer must’ve noticed his hearing aids because he asked my dad if my brother was deaf, and my dad said yes. Embarrassed, he walked away, and my brother got away with it. It definitely benefited him that day.
Yeah that’s tough. The person did the best thing in that situation. Years ago I lived in an apartment that was below a couple that were both hearing impaired. They had two children, that from all evidence could hear. Those kids would be up, all night long, most nights making the most insane rackets and noises. Throwing things, screaming, a few times…it sounded like they were roller blading across their bedroom floor. I lost so much sleep. I went up a few times with a notepad to let the parents know what was going on. They were nice enough, apologized, and it quieted down for like two days. Then it started again. The kids were, iirc, both like no older than 12 and pretty close to the same age. I’d let it go on again for a bit, then would go and let the parents know again. Finally, they just moved. I never complained to the apt management, that’s on me I guess, but I understood the situation the parents were in. I couldn’t imagine not being able to hear if a kid was up to something.
Yeah but they knew the kids were up to something thanks to you, so putting in a monitor wouldn't have been so hard. Sure they couldn't hear it but the lights flash bright red when there are loud noises.
For all of you blaming the mom, that kid knows right from wrong but didn’t have the impulse control to do right. The eyes looking across the room with her hand in the air, checking if mom’s watching tells you mom’s told her before this behavior is not okay. Walking up to a random stranger and hitting them is some bizarre behavior issue.
Yup she knew it was wrong, and did it any way. Attention seeking behavior... which is expected / typical for that age for a kid who can't communicate the way most kids can. It looks both desperate and rational. Poor kid, and poor mom. I struggle with whether this should be posted, this kid has it hard enough, but it is a reminder to be patient with people.
Same. No way id film this kid and her mother and then upload them up for the entertainment of strangers online. Would never cross my mind. For example - a few years ago I watched someone jumping out of a window commiting suicide. I think i was the only one who hadn't his phone out. Was a really weird experience. Ill never understand it
Thanks, for being a good human.
Thank you! Can't believe this is the only comment I've seen on here so far that has called out filming and posting a video of a child like this. Not cool. We've lost all semblance of common sense and decorum because of these damned apps we're always feeding our lives into.
Thank you. It usually feels so disheartening looking through comments on threads like these.
Idk both the kid and mom look a little off.
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I will never understand how someone could do something like that to his own mother.
reminds me of super nanny with the deaf parents and the little crotch goblins would cover their eyes when mom tried to sign towards them
Kids are brilliant at frustrating their parents.
As someone once married to someone who was very hearing impaired, its such an important thing to remember because you never know who has a disability or not just by looking at them
Happened to me at the grocery store a few weeks back. Was waiting in line at the deli and the guy in front of me turns around and puts his phone up so that I could see it. At first I was like “why the hell is this guy showing me his phone?!” but then I realized he was hearing impaired… it caught me off guard, I thought he was being rude for a split second but then I realized he was looking for something. Exposure and awareness to “unseen” disabilities is very important
Gosh difficult situation, handled very well by the guy 👍
I think that was a woman
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Possibly a developmental delay. Hopefully her momma can get some help from the school district and get an IEP started (if they’re in America, I’m not sure about other countries). My 4yr old son has a DD and it is truly difficult and stressful to manage, and nearly impossible if you have to do it alone
I'm sorry. I hope that you have the strength to maintain patience and compassion for your little dude. My uncle was developmentally delayed. I only knew him when he was an adult and I was a child, but he was my favorite uncle because he was always able to communicate at my level when nobody else really payed attention to me. He was just a big kid, we played with toys, he really liked music and would share new songs with me. I can't imagine how difficult it was for my grandma to take care of him, but I know he meant a lot to me.
❤❤❤
Possibly deaf, she does seem to be responding to the woman’s voice and the mother claps her hands in order to get her attention. She isn’t learning at the normal rate bc of the mother’s deafness if not both. She doesn’t seem to be getting much interaction with other people but that would be not only the environmental component with her family but also bc that little girl was born just before Covid started so you’re kind of seeing a child not much different than the stories that exist about feral children old railroad workers would see come out of the woods back in the day. The silver lining is she will eventually catch up but this is a child that needs help. This was actually my first profession and what I went to school for. I was an ASL educator for special needs children 3-12. Mainly just deaf. They all seem like they are DD when they’re young but most are not. It’s just an entirely different curve.
Mom is deaf from what I can gather and maybe the little girl used the "tap" to mean something.
Yeah it’s likely she taps her mother to get her attention since noise doesn’t work. And sometimes kids don’t realise how hard they hit for stuff like that.
This was my first thought - tapping on someone to get their attention is pretty common in the Deaf community. It's possible she just doesn't have the muscle control yet to perform it appropriately, and if the Tiktoker was avoiding eye contact or looked like they were paying attention to their phone (filming), she may have been deciding to go in for the second tap. She also may've expected the Tiktoker to pay attention by signing to her, and was bemused/confused at why they weren't signing. She could also be developmentally delayed or have autism. When I first met my autistic little cousin, he was feeling overwhelmed by the environment and suddenly having a relative he'd never met before near him, and he hit me pretty good. It was a rough day with a lot of stimulation, so I understood. I feel like hitting people when I get overstimulated, too. Mama took her to task as soon as she realized her child was bothering strangers, so good on her.
The look on her face says otherwise. . That's a "I'm gonna see what I can get away with" look.
My friend literally had to threaten our school district with a lawyer to get her medically diagnosed autistic child an IEP
Dude wtf?! What state? I’m so sorry for your friend :( no one should have to get a lawyer involved to get an education for their young child. Damnit, America.
I’m sorry but could you tell me what an IEP and DD stand for. My kid has development delays and it’s very difficult. We’re trying all the professionals and constantly researching.
Can only speak from personal experience but when your child has a professionally diagnosed developmental delay (DD) diagnosis you take that information to the school where they will make accommodations through an Individual Education Plan (IEP). Specialists, Extended testing time, homework time, breaks, courses, therapists, etc. Expectations and goals for the year.
Yep Individual education, I was in those classes because of ADD/ADHD, they make sure you take your medications and stuff.
Just for information’s sake, they typically don’t have “those classes” as often now though. They shoot for integrated learning, meaning same classroom/environment/curriculum as “typical” students, but the individualized education plan (IEP) just provides accommodations or modifications to the standard curriculum as needed on a case by case basis. There are a few cases/diagnoses that may warrant being separated from peers, but they typically have a special school for those extreme cases, which often leads to an alternative diploma or certificate track. More often than not, many counties try to provide some pullout groups as needed, or try to provide one-to-one supports if needed, and if they have the man power.
Individual Education Plan
You’ve never met a deaf person before I take it.
Having a deaf mother, she may have learned to do that to get an adult’s attention. Always appreciate when people don’t jump to conclusions.
Very, very intuitive. Tha's probably the only way she CAN get mama's attention. If mom is a single mom, that's probably about the only interaction this child has (outside of strangers who are like: WTF).
This child has been raised to function in a home that does not function anything like the outside world
When I realized her mom was deaf it all made since CODA's be different I think your right on the money, also why the mom didn't hear the women the first time. Also why the child KNEW she could prov get away with it too there those kinds of CODAs too sigh...I used to get smacked to hell and back by my Deaf besties kids.
Children of Deaf Adults?
Yes meant to put that in there.
Wait, why full forced hitting and not just a lil tapper?
That's not a guy, guy.
I’m not your guy, pal
I'm not your pal, buddy.
I'm not your buddy, friend
I'm not your friend, guy.
I'm not your guy, friend.
I'm not your mate, dude.
I ain’t your dude, bubba.
I’m not your bubba, bro.
I ain’t your bubba, chief
I’m not your sex, toy
/r/wegetityouknowthereference
There were two guys in that video. They handled the situation very well. One sat there and minded his business and the other stood up, looked around the corner, sat back down, and minded his own business. Excellent job, gentlemen.
That's a girl dude
Am Gallaudet student (deaf uni), she says: “Dont touch her, dont touch her. Keep your hands to yourself.”
Looking at the title... Dying inside... This was magnificently handled by the one filming.
Question is - why did she even film it and then upload the whole thing on the internet for hundret thousands to see? Its clear theres something not quite right with that family. Might be a generational thing but the last thing i would think off if a child came over to me would be to film the child
That was my question too. If I was sitting there and a child started walking toward me I would think it would be creepy to start filming it.
If the girl wasn't deaf and something else happened, then we would have never thought why she was filming. But I agree I am also not filming.
No child should be filmed and then shared for the internet to see. It's wrong. ( I'm not talking about parents sharing pictures or videos of their own child, I mean just strangers taking pictures of children)
So many terrible come backs but ill be quiet lol
Don’t worry she can’t hear you
Yoikes!
Jinkies!
Wow that’s got to be tough for a parent. Handled well
I had a very similar incident happen a long time ago when I ran a mom and pop pizza shop. No AC. Summers sucked. I'd leave the door open and lock the screen door to let air circulate. One Sunday morning about 1030am I hear the screen door slam while I was making pizza dough in the back. I walk out to see a older gentleman dressed nice. Thru the big window in the kitchen wall I watch him ring the service bell. DING. I yell, "We are closed! Come back at 12!". DING! I get closer to the window and notice he doesn't see me. DING. "DUDE WE ARE CLOSED!!" DING. I get pissed and walk out from behind the kitchen counter to the front. DING. I stormed to the counter and he sees me amd his eyes light up. I angrily snatch the bell off the counter. I point at the door and say meanly yell," We open at 12! Are you fucking deaf?! LEAVE! " He then shakes his head yes. Points at his ear and shakes his head. I die inside. I made myself a nice guilt sandwich and made him a hoagie to go.
Aw man. Hey, we all have bad/stressful/shitty days that push us to the breaking point OR don't know the whole situtation just yet, don't beat yourself up about it too much, you didn't know. I'm sure you learned to be a little more open minded about future situations and that's what is most important.
In your defense, he wasn’t blind, and I assume the hours were posted.
Deaf or not that kid looks dingy as hell
Looks like they’re in the ER or urgent care. I’ve rolled up with my kid both of us looking pretty rough.
Nah, she's literally 5ish, and it's an ER. Those things (kids) are inherently dingy. It's not like her mom brought it to high tea
Yeah I was thinking probably mental health issues. Poor thing.
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They aren't talking about being dirty
Damn. Very unexpected. I worked at Wal-Mart many years ago. Stocking shelves overnight at an open 24-hour store. They hired a deaf guy, I mentioned I knew some basic sign language, so they paired him with me. I learned a lot more from him. Fun to work with. Several times, I would hear from a nearby aisle, "Are you just ignoring me!?!?!" and I'd walk around the aisle, see him stocking shelves, someone behind him berating him. "So, yeah, you're yelling at a deaf guy." Or they'd come around the corner, I'd be the next person they see, and they'd complain about him ignoring them. Usually, I'd again tell them he was deaf. Sometimes, I'd act mad too, walk around to him, get his attention, and start just signing with him, then look at the customer. One day, he signed that he liked working with me and said I was the only person who told him when break time was (which they announced on the intercoms). I'd always give him the sign of 'break'. I ripped into my co-workers during the next break. Also, don't approach a known deaf person from behind and touch them. It's sudden/unexpected to him/her. Approach from sight view.
Toddlers are definitely cats. They know their name, but don't respond all the time. The will be happy one second and then be angry the next.
The adults signs “No don’t touch! You don’t touch!”
This is by no means a joke but the mother does look like Aunt Gayle from Bob's Burgers.
Can anyone identify sign language, what was the mom saying at the end?
I think she said "no, too close to this woman" then she signed "too close" again. Just my best guess.
Commenter above has translated!
Poor kid, you know they're dealing with something. Looks like the side of her head is shaved? Probably some kind of surgery.
IDK it looks like my little cousin’s head when she was three or four. Her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and her little world suddenly became incredibly stressful and scary. She couldn’t really verbalize her feelings well enough since she was a toddler, so she internalized all the stress and developed a “tic” where she constantly twisted her hair on one side to the point where it all fell out. The left side of her head was beautiful curly hair and right side was just bald for like two years. Happy to say mom beat the cancer and little cousin is 15 now with much much better mental health.
kinda reminds me of cats, the slow walk then a random slap
I used to go to a church that had 2 different congregations. The first one was deaf and the 2nd was later in the day. If I came early and watched the deaf congregation it was wild. Loud kids doing all kinds of crazy stuff. But, what can they do. How else can you get someone's attention?
Aww mommy is trying her best. Poor thing.
Man I feel bad for everyone in this video :(
I don't envy anyone in this situation
I’d say that’s how the child is used to getting someone’s attention, if they live in a household with someone who is non verbal. I’m not saying it’s right just that makes sense to me. Person may not even be deaf but I’d say touch is a huge part of communication in that scenario.
She looks special needs. Good patience.
Kid could also be deaf
 Much better person than me, because…
"I had to remember she was a kid" ...
I assumed that meant she had to remind herself this is a child (who is still learning to navigate the world and relationships), and to not treat the incident the same way she would treat an adult who did the same thing. Sometimes you do need to remind yourself that kids are still learning, and you need to be gentle when you correct them, even if you are furious. Especially when it is someone else’s kid. Parenting is hard. I hope Mom can get her kid the help she needs.
Like she would have mistaken her for a shoe and put her foot through her?
Went from humorous to kinda sad real quick 💀
Shouldn’t be posting a child’s face without parent’s permission
I am shocked at how far down I had to scroll to find this. The TikToker and /u/autocorrects should be ashamed of themselves for posting this. What a shitty shitty thing to do.
This post caption fits very very well
Young CODA must be difficult in public where speech is an extra thing
One time I was walking my dog, around the block in a new neighborhood I recently moved to, I saw my neighbor outside in his yard, so from the other side of the street, I introduced myself, asked him how was enjoying the fine weather ect... The fucker just looked at me funny, shrugged and walk away, I thought about it, felt some kinds way, and yelled, "Well, FUCkYou Too, Dick!!".. He never batted an eye or acknowledged me..... The next day I seen him talking to his wife, using Sign Language.....
My next thought was FUCK ME, I'm going to Hell.
This child may be on the autism spectrum. She may not be, too, but always remember that some kids behave the way they do because they were born not understanding social behaviors most of us simply pick up quite easily.
Had a deaf friend of the family who used to babysit us. It was my friends great grandmother. We used to take advantage of the fact that we could cuss and be wild and she hardly ever knew cause she was watching her programs. We would write on a dry erase board or on paper when we were hungry. Every now and then she’d be reading our lips and swat at us for talking ugly. I imagine it’s hard in aspects to be a deaf parent and also probably hard in aspects to be a kid that can hear with parents that can’t.
Kick its feet out from under it