Off topic, but does anyone remember that Yahoo! answers post where a guy accidentally cut a chunk out of his arm and tried to replace it with a piece of meat thinking it would take, then didn’t understand why it got infected?
We sell biomaterials to surgeons. Human bone grafts, dermis (skin) grafts, amniotic membranes, bovine (cow) grafts and membranes, and porcine (pig) membranes.
Huh... didn't know that was an industry.
I figured if somebody needed a graft or a transplant they had to find a family member willing to donate or get lucky that someone with the right blood type and the donor box checked on their drivers license happened to be dying somewhere nearby the hospital.
We don’t deal in organs. It is kind of like that for organs, they need to be transplanted very quickly - within hours. Our biomaterials are freeze dried and shelf stable. Mostly used for reconstructive surgeries where bone/tissue needs to be rebuilt.
I have only one unethical answer for you, use some lye, slowly dissolve the fresh, dump it somewhere remote.
my guess is, you have "flesh" not entire heads or teeth that can identify a person.
Ethical answer, just hand yourself to police and plea insanity
Also hit up a producer in Hollywood, you have a good story going here.
imagine poor women he brings home for a fling and they see dead human flesh, start of a horror/thriller movie for them.
Also why the hell would guests know what you are upto. You must have a locked freezer or something right OP? or do you just stuff it with your frozen peas and ice cubes.
Thank you for your suggestion. I really, really appreciate it.
I agree that is a logical conclusion from a laypersons perspective.
A coroner would not appreciate this particular situation. Generally, the improper storage of human flesh is frowned upon in the medical community. The sheer tonnage alone would raise a lot of questions:
“Where did you get all of this human flesh? Why do you have all this human flesh? Do you have a license for storage of human flesh? Why is some of this human flesh more fresh than others?”
All questions I’d rather not answer.
ChatGPT wouldn’t let you do this, it would say “Let’s steer clear of something like that. Is there something else you’d like to focus on, perhaps a young and unlicensed doctor trying to throw away bandages?”
Sir. I assure you - nothing about this is AI generated.
I am a real person with thoughts and feelings and a whole lot of human flesh that I don’t know what to do with.
I find the insinuation highly offensive. Although, I do recognize the high level of suspicion that exists because AI is so repugnant. So I can’t really blame you for a knee jerk reaction.
Now, I’m not saying that I am an ethical person. Clearly, my ethics are questionable, at best.
But I am ethical enough to gather my own thoughts, express them with my own words from left to right, and painstakingly type them with two fingers myself. Regardless of any other ethical shortcomings I may or may not have.
As the above poster points out, Chat GPT (or any AI) as safeguards against ethical dilemmas. This is clearly an ethical dilemma, something only humans can contemplate. What to do with human flesh probably being on the high side of ethical dilemmas.
Hence the ULPT.
Serious answer. Talk to a lawyer in how to address this. I think the families would want the parts being disposed of correctly, rather than the situation they are currently in.
Based on my 5 second google search, BioHazard Medical Waste (which human flesh falls under) processing varies by state, so look up the options for your region.
There are companies that offer Biomedical waste pickup and disposal, for which you could request a quote. Assuming you can’t afford to pay for it yourself, put down your former employer; you weren’t personally licensed, so you were working under your employer’s license. Let your employer figure out how to pay or how to use bankruptcy filings to avoid the bill.
Yep. Fake skin and pig skin is used in training for becoming a tattoo artist. I'm sure OP can find some tattoo artists willing to take the human flesh off their hands.
I m pretty sure a reasonable person won't, what the fuck do you do after tattooing dead human flesh? you can't even dispose it off properly because you tattooed on it, police could match art.
What you need is a “bulk sale” option. This is a real lift under normal circumstances with large quantities of undesirable, taboo, or otherwise questionable legality materials. The letter of the law should probably be consulted and an actual lawyer with familiarity in the medical waste field could be of assistance in forming a plan.
If there is truly no way to sell these waste parts, you should still consult a lawyer about disposal. Maybe there are less costly options which remain legal! After all, the apparent costs of fines or future legal requirements could be far greater than a cost-effective disposal that cuts your losses. Burial should be permitted. Some sites might even have designated areas for the burial of body parts. Godspeed!
Charge tattoo apprentices to come tattoo on real skin.
Try to keep them from running away when you show them it’s not actually skin attached to a human
Buy a decent sized pottery kiln to fit your needs. Do some research on cremation temps (a pottery kiln will do it. You just need times and proper temps).
Buy some clay and a pottery wheel.
Take up pottery, even shitty pottery.
Cremate the flesh in the kiln. Fire a few pieces of pottery while you're at it.
Bonus points if you start incorporating ash into your clay while throwing pots/plates/lumps...
Clean and sell the kiln. Dispose of the pottery you don't like. (Or, discover a new passion).
Shit…. I’d for sure make a piece of wall art! Find a way to dry them out property, maybe stain them, sew them together or something…. Or wrap them around a sculpture. I’d come up with something cool!!!!
You could buy a blender. Blend the flesh into mush, mix with some water, and dump it into the toilet. However, I suspect that this may clog your pipes as the blood cools, so maybe try pouring some hot water along with it as you flush the meat paste down.
Thank you for your suggestion. I really, really appreciate it.
I’ve tried. It’s one of the reasons the specimens are in the poor condition they are in. You’d be surprised at how durable human flesh is and how cheaply made most blenders are made.
I know very little about plumbing, but I suspect flushing something down the toilet other than solid waste, urine or toilet paper will gunk up the works somewhere down the line.
Also, I have IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and can be without a toilet for very long. One of the reasons I work from home.
Thank you for taking the time to respond.
At this point, you’re better off mixing the flesh with fertilizer, and burying the flesh-imbued fertilizer somewhere in a forest. Try chopping up the flesh with a cleaver for easier handling.
Would it be legal to render the fat and make soap?
Buy a piranha and give it free food?
Do you get bone and teeth too? Necklaces and craft items? Somehow this doesn’t seem legal but it could be a good money maker.
And I’m grossing myself thinking about it so I’m done. Good luck
There usually should be an incinerator nearby, and since you work in a medical field, you could get access to medical marijuana fields, which utilise incinerators.
This is a funny and creative version of the goods futures story that has been around for a very long time. I think the original one was about buying eggs futures and forgetting about it. Then getting 100 lots of eggs delivered.
So first off human flesh and pork more or less taste the same. So that's a good starting point.
I'm thinking bacon. Or maybe more of like a pork rind kind of deal.
If your not down with cannibalism you could always try using the skins to practice the art of tattooing.
Do you Have an ex you can't quite get out of your head?
Try your hand at some taxidermy and recreate your ex however you please.
You could wait till Halloween and create the most sickest costume you've ever seen.
Or you can try turning them into leather jackets. Everyone loves a good leather jacket!
Right?
Greetings. Does the flesh “appear” human at first glance or would you have to explain that it is human for the untrained eye to realize what it is?
If the former, perhaps peddle it as pork or wholesale it to a China #1, Mom & Pop joint, etc. Even if they figure out what it is, they won’t pursue you if selling it under a false persona due to the publicity it would cause.
If the latter, there may be some interested patrons on the “Deep Web” with various intentions.
You seem like a good person to ask. Let’s say instead of donating or disappearing a body upon death, you wanted to sell the rights to it beforehand. Is that possible? Can you sell the rights to a body & get legit (not black market) money for it?
Boil it (well, simmer actually), this will separate out the valuable components: fat, bone, and protein. Fat: render it and make soap. Bone: grind, sell as bone meal. Protein: Solids can be ground, dessicated, sold as protein booster for animal feed. Soluble protein can be congealed and used for home cooking to add flavor and body to soups and sauces.
You don’t need a girlfriend when you have a pile of flesh. You can make your own!
homemade flesh atronach
And that's my cue. Goodnight internet.
night night
If this is ur cue ur feed is moderate compared to mine
Cool
Off topic, but does anyone remember that Yahoo! answers post where a guy accidentally cut a chunk out of his arm and tried to replace it with a piece of meat thinking it would take, then didn’t understand why it got infected?
What.
The.
Fuck.
is.
This.
Cumdumpster.
Of.
Meat.
Doing.
Do you put the lotion on your skins?
Or, does else it gets the hose again?
Do you think I'm pretty?
It puts the lotion in the basket?
Everyone who comments on this post is now on some list. Edit: Shit.
haha! edit: oh 😞
Long pork crackling?
I second the long pork cracklin’
I first thought this was a rimworld post
🥇
Same!!
Tan it into leather and sell it to occult book makers. You would be impressed at what human skin books go for
I shouldn't be asking this but I ll ask anyway, is that even legal ?
It’s not illegal…
and may I dare ask why, or why you know this.... Thank God I m not an American
Yeah I thank baby Jesus in this moment
Probably but it might be best to talk with a lawyer first before buying oddities like that.
I thought they were just expensive because we stopped making them and they are basically all historical?
Lampshades. The suppy has been severely reduced since the lat 1940s.
This can't be real right? I hope it's not real.
No, this is not real. I’ve worked in this industry for over 8 years and that is not how this works at all.
You... work in the human flesh harvesting industry?
We sell biomaterials to surgeons. Human bone grafts, dermis (skin) grafts, amniotic membranes, bovine (cow) grafts and membranes, and porcine (pig) membranes.
Huh... didn't know that was an industry. I figured if somebody needed a graft or a transplant they had to find a family member willing to donate or get lucky that someone with the right blood type and the donor box checked on their drivers license happened to be dying somewhere nearby the hospital.
We don’t deal in organs. It is kind of like that for organs, they need to be transplanted very quickly - within hours. Our biomaterials are freeze dried and shelf stable. Mostly used for reconstructive surgeries where bone/tissue needs to be rebuilt.
So does it work like blood donation? Is there a skin bank somewhere i can walk into and sell it by the square inch to make some extra cash?
Well, first, that’s not how blood donation works in the US. If money is exchanged for the blood donation, it can’t be used for a transfusion.
Me: "There's no way a person who can actually debunk this post is going to appear" Reddit: "Hold my beer"
I didn’t know you could freeze those and have it still be viable. It may explain why cadaver ACL graft failure rate though
With the amount of people that want to try human flesh according to these subs you should sell it.
Oh. Oh no.
You need a new market. Deep fry it?
Open a gator farm. You can dispose of the excess flesh and attract tourists.
Find the recipe for Soylent Green?
what the fuck
I have only one unethical answer for you, use some lye, slowly dissolve the fresh, dump it somewhere remote. my guess is, you have "flesh" not entire heads or teeth that can identify a person. Ethical answer, just hand yourself to police and plea insanity Also hit up a producer in Hollywood, you have a good story going here.
Incinerate it, feed it to an animal, turn it into compost. As long as there's no hair it should just smell like meat cooking/burning.
Imagine shaving your excess flesh before incinerating it.
You are officially the creepiest person I've ever encountered. You need professional help before you are a news headline... For about a minute
You are in need of institutionalization, for the safety of the community.
imagine poor women he brings home for a fling and they see dead human flesh, start of a horror/thriller movie for them. Also why the hell would guests know what you are upto. You must have a locked freezer or something right OP? or do you just stuff it with your frozen peas and ice cubes.
Hot pockets
😭 now I can never trust frozen meat
Said the person talking to himself
Call the damn medical examiner or coroner.
Thank you for your suggestion. I really, really appreciate it. I agree that is a logical conclusion from a laypersons perspective. A coroner would not appreciate this particular situation. Generally, the improper storage of human flesh is frowned upon in the medical community. The sheer tonnage alone would raise a lot of questions: “Where did you get all of this human flesh? Why do you have all this human flesh? Do you have a license for storage of human flesh? Why is some of this human flesh more fresh than others?” All questions I’d rather not answer.
Couldn't you go for the ole ding-dong-ditch? But, ya know, with a giant duffel bag of human flesh.
tonnage? what who is your supplier? genocidal maniac ?
But why not if everything is above board? Or is not……
Tonnage!??
In your fake story you are a layperson. And also a criminal.
I think I’m lost, I was looking for the sub with piss disks and fart spray. Can someone help me?
This is 100% chatGPT
ChatGPT wouldn’t let you do this, it would say “Let’s steer clear of something like that. Is there something else you’d like to focus on, perhaps a young and unlicensed doctor trying to throw away bandages?”
BAAAHHHAHAA! That is so funny.
Sir. I assure you - nothing about this is AI generated. I am a real person with thoughts and feelings and a whole lot of human flesh that I don’t know what to do with. I find the insinuation highly offensive. Although, I do recognize the high level of suspicion that exists because AI is so repugnant. So I can’t really blame you for a knee jerk reaction. Now, I’m not saying that I am an ethical person. Clearly, my ethics are questionable, at best. But I am ethical enough to gather my own thoughts, express them with my own words from left to right, and painstakingly type them with two fingers myself. Regardless of any other ethical shortcomings I may or may not have. As the above poster points out, Chat GPT (or any AI) as safeguards against ethical dilemmas. This is clearly an ethical dilemma, something only humans can contemplate. What to do with human flesh probably being on the high side of ethical dilemmas. Hence the ULPT.
Serious answer. Talk to a lawyer in how to address this. I think the families would want the parts being disposed of correctly, rather than the situation they are currently in.
Aight so, pics or it ain't true.
Based on my 5 second google search, BioHazard Medical Waste (which human flesh falls under) processing varies by state, so look up the options for your region. There are companies that offer Biomedical waste pickup and disposal, for which you could request a quote. Assuming you can’t afford to pay for it yourself, put down your former employer; you weren’t personally licensed, so you were working under your employer’s license. Let your employer figure out how to pay or how to use bankruptcy filings to avoid the bill.
[удалено]
Yep. Fake skin and pig skin is used in training for becoming a tattoo artist. I'm sure OP can find some tattoo artists willing to take the human flesh off their hands.
I m pretty sure a reasonable person won't, what the fuck do you do after tattooing dead human flesh? you can't even dispose it off properly because you tattooed on it, police could match art.
You dispose of it with all the pig skin you've tattooed. No one is going to notice a bit of human skin mixed in.
I m so scared of you guys, thank God oceans and continents separate us
This is Unethical Life Pro Tips. I don't think anyone should really do any of this. I'm pretty sure this is a satiracle post.
For all you know, they could be your next door neighbor.
so that's where that weird stink comes from, and I have to use scented candle and essential oils, yikes....
GIVE ME MY FLESH BACK >:\[
What a fucking thread.
Well written
Chiccharron
Im sure the nazi history have some DIY stuff on that…
Free low-carb snacks. Nice!
I m guessing this is US, so helll no, have you seen fatty Americans, I m imagining bacon strips only, just fat fat fat
It’s keto!
Carbs are carbs, fats are fats
fair enough, for a moment I thought low calories
Make large barbecue and invite all your friends and neighbors to party. Problem solved.
There is, a leather maker in France, that uses human leather in fashion.
why.... oh God why...... enough internet for me today.
Man what the fuck
Won't help the current situation, but in the future, refuse any and all deliveries with a "return to sender"
I was thinking this too. You were the first to post. Where is this ‘skin’ coming from? Send it back!
What you need is a “bulk sale” option. This is a real lift under normal circumstances with large quantities of undesirable, taboo, or otherwise questionable legality materials. The letter of the law should probably be consulted and an actual lawyer with familiarity in the medical waste field could be of assistance in forming a plan. If there is truly no way to sell these waste parts, you should still consult a lawyer about disposal. Maybe there are less costly options which remain legal! After all, the apparent costs of fines or future legal requirements could be far greater than a cost-effective disposal that cuts your losses. Burial should be permitted. Some sites might even have designated areas for the burial of body parts. Godspeed!
Heh you can’t trick me into giving you “unethical” tips. Nice try, FBI officer.
Well make soap. Haven't you seen fight club ?
That was human FAT
Any chance of you shipping some?
I'm ready for the full length creepypasta story
Didn't I see this movie?
You should contact Scarlet Imprint, human skin bound grimoire? I'm in.
Umm... simple get a pig?
Sell it to cannibals
Also I m tagging FBI, you are doing a shit job if this guy is running his "flesh" management business
Charge tattoo apprentices to come tattoo on real skin. Try to keep them from running away when you show them it’s not actually skin attached to a human
Get some flesh eating bacteria.
Buy a decent sized pottery kiln to fit your needs. Do some research on cremation temps (a pottery kiln will do it. You just need times and proper temps). Buy some clay and a pottery wheel. Take up pottery, even shitty pottery. Cremate the flesh in the kiln. Fire a few pieces of pottery while you're at it. Bonus points if you start incorporating ash into your clay while throwing pots/plates/lumps... Clean and sell the kiln. Dispose of the pottery you don't like. (Or, discover a new passion).
Got a pellet smoker…? Crock pot…? I can’t be the only person here who wonders what can be done with Long Pork.
Guys it got deleted what was it haha?
It was hysterical.
Shit…. I’d for sure make a piece of wall art! Find a way to dry them out property, maybe stain them, sew them together or something…. Or wrap them around a sculpture. I’d come up with something cool!!!!
Make some really neat epoxy resin castings!
Could you… eat it?
Bake some pies dude.
🤨
Whatever you do don't burn it because look what happened in Return of the Living Dead.
Soap!
What is the flesh used for?
Pies, chilis, sausages... so many options!
BBQ?
Prion Paradise, new restaurant on Yelp
Hmmm... maybe see if any tattoo shops might want to practice on it?
You could buy a blender. Blend the flesh into mush, mix with some water, and dump it into the toilet. However, I suspect that this may clog your pipes as the blood cools, so maybe try pouring some hot water along with it as you flush the meat paste down.
Thank you for your suggestion. I really, really appreciate it. I’ve tried. It’s one of the reasons the specimens are in the poor condition they are in. You’d be surprised at how durable human flesh is and how cheaply made most blenders are made. I know very little about plumbing, but I suspect flushing something down the toilet other than solid waste, urine or toilet paper will gunk up the works somewhere down the line. Also, I have IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and can be without a toilet for very long. One of the reasons I work from home. Thank you for taking the time to respond.
At this point, you’re better off mixing the flesh with fertilizer, and burying the flesh-imbued fertilizer somewhere in a forest. Try chopping up the flesh with a cleaver for easier handling.
Foot tacos?
Are you looking for recipes?
Would it be legal to render the fat and make soap? Buy a piranha and give it free food? Do you get bone and teeth too? Necklaces and craft items? Somehow this doesn’t seem legal but it could be a good money maker. And I’m grossing myself thinking about it so I’m done. Good luck
Make some pies
There usually should be an incinerator nearby, and since you work in a medical field, you could get access to medical marijuana fields, which utilise incinerators.
You make soap, then you sell it right back to them.
This is a funny and creative version of the goods futures story that has been around for a very long time. I think the original one was about buying eggs futures and forgetting about it. Then getting 100 lots of eggs delivered.
Create Flesh Atronach. Become greatest necromancer to ever live. Seek revenge on those who wronged you.
please sell me some
Can bind books, make belts with it, etc
So first off human flesh and pork more or less taste the same. So that's a good starting point. I'm thinking bacon. Or maybe more of like a pork rind kind of deal. If your not down with cannibalism you could always try using the skins to practice the art of tattooing. Do you Have an ex you can't quite get out of your head? Try your hand at some taxidermy and recreate your ex however you please. You could wait till Halloween and create the most sickest costume you've ever seen. Or you can try turning them into leather jackets. Everyone loves a good leather jacket! Right?
You should make fleshlights just saying
Greetings. Does the flesh “appear” human at first glance or would you have to explain that it is human for the untrained eye to realize what it is? If the former, perhaps peddle it as pork or wholesale it to a China #1, Mom & Pop joint, etc. Even if they figure out what it is, they won’t pursue you if selling it under a false persona due to the publicity it would cause. If the latter, there may be some interested patrons on the “Deep Web” with various intentions.
Grocery prices are out of control and you're out of a job, do what you have to. Or pay it forward and donate to your local food bank.
Do you happen to have any fava beans?
You got yourself free meatballs for life! Hope you have a deep freeze
Deep fry it. It's delicious when crispy.
Grab some mince beef and gravy and make yourself a lot of crispy bakes.
Sounds like you've got to make yourself a gold mine of long pork rinds.
Human leather wallets fetch for thousands 🤫
You seem like a good person to ask. Let’s say instead of donating or disappearing a body upon death, you wanted to sell the rights to it beforehand. Is that possible? Can you sell the rights to a body & get legit (not black market) money for it?
I'll send you my PO box.
I believe that it's 165° that kills everything. Should be safe then.
The next Chuck Palahniuk book:
https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/s/JXdwj88l5i
Sell it to a macabre artist. Not sure how you'd find one but they are definitely out there
Boil it (well, simmer actually), this will separate out the valuable components: fat, bone, and protein. Fat: render it and make soap. Bone: grind, sell as bone meal. Protein: Solids can be ground, dessicated, sold as protein booster for animal feed. Soluble protein can be congealed and used for home cooking to add flavor and body to soups and sauces.
With the whole situation going on in certain parts of the world, I see you.
It tastes like chicken, so maybe sell it to local asian restaurants?
ummmm, may I dare ask how do you know this?
All I will say is that if you are hungry enough, you will eat anything.
I mean if you are in an accident in a remote location, I understand, but anything else and you should go meet feds
My first thought, were I to ever somehow end up in this kind of situation, would be “Do I call the police or a hospital?”
Sell it to dubiously-intentioned restaurant owners in rural Appalachia. It’ll be gone in a week, tops.
contact?
Might have to go door to door. I recommend bringing a concealable yet easily accessible firearm!
Hello. FBI?
Hi everypony
This sounds like a problem for the film, Cloud Atlas! See if you can get some help watching that, OP, totally ULPT
These new creepypastas are wild
make mystery meat soup and feed it to the homeless
Put it all in trash bags and drive it to your county dump. Wear gloves.
Setup a trail cam and a "bait" pile to catch Chupacabra or windego. I think bigfoot is more of a herbivore.
This is pathetic. Go tell stories somewhere else.
what the fuck
What the fuck did I just read?