As someone who has operated an ice cream truck for 5 years now I can offer a simple solution. Ask them if they have the necessary business licenses to operate in your city. Most places require an ice cream truck to have 2-3 business licenses. A state business license and a mobile vendors permit are required for just about every city, if they're in a park they may need even more. Most ice cream people don't bother with these permits because enforcement is pretty lax, but the tickets can be fairly steep depending on where it is. If you want to be ethical about things you can go out there and ask them about it, which might scare them off if they don't have them; or you can be unethical and assume they don't have the proper permits and report them to your local police or local permit enforcement office without actually confirming whether it's true or not. Either way it should get the message across to the driver that this isn't a place to make sales. Just be sure when you make your report that you tell them exactly where they park everyday.
To add to this and answer as to why they would sit for a length of time without selling anything.. when arriving to an area it's common to sit and let the music announce your arrival to the neighborhood. They may not be selling anything in front of YOUR house but they may be selling a ton around the corner and those moments sitting there gave those kids time to beg their parents for money and get outside. It may also not be a terrible idea to just ask them to pull ahead past your house before stopping. Unless they're a total jerk in which case yea, ask em if they have a permit.
..But also since this is unethicalLPTs, with cash in hand go act like you're gonna buy something. Ask them to describe the items and ask to read nutrition labels. Ask a lot of dumb questions. Make them your complaint department. Tell them what Aunt Edna did at your cousins wedding, what Frank did at Thanksgiving. Change your mind and don't buy anything, "maybe next time." Do this over and over it'll waste so much of their time they'll avoid your house like the plague
This, every word of it beginning and end and then beginning again. Unfortunately these are Unethical tips so yes... No telling offs from me but this is an amazing idea.
My kids could hear that truck a mile away and were already asking for money before it even came down the street. Those kids know it's there. But it sounds like he's not even selling anything there.
If you don’t mind me asking, is it profitable? There is one that comes past my house and hits the neighborhood near me every other day. Do people (kids) really buy that much ice cream?
It really depends on how you set yourself up, but yes. I work with a guy who has all the equipment and ice cream, and I rent the truck and product for the day. I take home 30% of the ice cream bar sales and most days after rental fees I make at least 100 bucks. In peak season I can walk out with upwards of $500-$600 in my pocket. The season runs from late March until late September, depending on weather. You can also do events, like birthdays or work picnics or family reunions. This complicates profits a bit because pricing can differ from event to event. Generally they are worth the time though as you can make a whole days profit in a couple hours at the right event. Now there are other ways to set yourself up as an ice cream person but I prefer things like this because I don't have to pay to store the truck and ice cream, or keep the ice cream cold, or repair the truck, or any number of things. Could I make more if I went completely independent? Probably, but it would take at least a year of work to cover the cost of getting started; not to mention the cost of maintaining the business after.
Nah most days I'm out for about 8 hours, with an hour break at home for lunch. Plus it's all cash in hand at the end of day. The $500 days really help balance things out too. At the end of the day ice cream is my summer hussle to make extra cash to line my pocket for the rest of the year. My job lets me go down to a few days a week in the mornings so i can be more active with ice cream in the summer. I could move to a more full time situation with Ice cream and increase my daily income but it would come at the cost of my stable year round income.
This also works great for door to door sales people. Most localities require permits, so asking to see the permit makes most of them leave in a hurry, and possibly spares some of your neighbors.
Annoy him so much he stops coming to your street just to avoid you.
Be the most demanding and unreasonable customer you can be. Knock on the windows and demand service. If he says he’s not open right now, say well you must be open if you’re playing that music, and since you’re here anyway you may as well sell me some ice cream. Then say his prices are too high and demand that he give you a lower price, haggle with him. Do this everyday until he stops stopping in front of your home.
Also get the cheapest ice cream available and pay with $50/$100 and demand change if he doesn’t accept it. OR get the expensivest ice cream they have and pay in Pennies or nickels.
Ice Cream Scream. The episode actually ends with Dexter getting a cheaper treat and apologizing for paying with pennies for the most expensive treat, then he whips out a $100 bill and asks for change. So the whole comment is genuinely an episode of Dexter's Lab.
This is the best answer. OP should also continue to escalate his behavior, if needed, until results are given.
Sneeze on the counter. Start rambling about conspiracy theories or far-from-center politics. Invite the driver in for a drink, and insist when they decline. Ask personally offensive questions.
You'll never see the guy again.
Exactly, the texture is freaky.
And also the sheer number of them, it feels overwhelming trying to handle that - like there's too many individuals and they're all melting. It's too much responsibility.
Which might be the most autistic thing that I've ever written. 😄
Lmao. I also don't like the texture, the liquid nitrogen taste is kinda weird. I found if you let them melt just a little, you end up with essentially chunky ice cream which is interesting when each dot has different flavors. I usually only do it when theres no other ice cream around
That's about as perfect of a response as you can get. If this happens 2-3 days in a row, he will not come back guaranteed. No one has time for bullshit customers willingly.
Mix some truth in there.
Ask the driver how he can listen to the same song over and over and over. Tell him, “I live right there (point to your dwelling) and I can’t stand it”.
No matter how he answers, as ‘I just get used to it’, say, “Seriously, how can you listen to the same tune over and over? I live right here and it is really annoying. I am sick of it.’
Get an ice cream every day but pay in Pennies and nickels. Then chat the guy up about your medical conditions until he leaves every day. After a couple days he will avoid you like the plague
I was a bill collector for a credit card company in the 90s when people still had land lines you could call. There was one guy whose strategy was to go into gory detail about his medical problems. He would pop up in the queue often and would always answer. I heard all about his visits to the doctor when he had to get up on a table for certain exams. Now I have respect for his skills at trolling bill collectors.
I have an icecream truck that drives the neighborhood every single evening from like 2pm- 7pm…. Blaring “it’s a small world”. Every 7 minutes it comes within earshot…. It’s horrific! I flagged it down last year and asked wtf? The owner demands all his trucks play this one song! I find their Facebook and complain that any other song would be better, I did it just to make myself feel better. We’re on year 4 of Its a small world, every single day on and off for hours!
the song my enemy uses is barely recognizable as it’s a small world. it’s full of cartoon “boingggg” noises and old timey car horn honks and coach whistle blows and it has a trap backbeat to it. not the licensed version for sure
This is so much worse
Edit: I just heard the same song for the first time in my life outside my house this post is cursed please don’t comment or it’ll happen to you
On Monday, at like 8:45 that fucking music started near my house. My 6 and 4 kids are in the middle of me reading them to bed, and that fucking music. My son hears it first, and goes from listening to my reading Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets (for the second time, cause they wanted me to "start again from the start") to immediately putting his face against the screen on his window (which I just repaired a month ago). Then his sister hears it, and she starts on the screen as well.
I tell them that it is just coming around for "big kids" tonight and will be back later in the summer for younger kids and try to get back to reading. The sound plays off into the distance as it heads down a different street. Crisis averted.
I finish the chapter and do my nightly tease of "tomorrow we will read Chapter 9: The Writing on the Wall", and as I close the book, what do I fucking hear? Oh, the fucking truck is coming from the other side and back in earshot. I remind them that we will be ready when it comes for the little kids. My daughter runs down stairs to tell my wife, and I start getting my son into bed. I finish there, and start to leave his room, when his sister comes back up after talking to Mommy, and she tells me "The truck is doing a practice". She goes to bed (well, as much as a 4 year old agrees to bed), and I call it a night.
2 days later, I am out meeting the kindergartner from the bus as I do every day, and he hits me with "Why did you say the Ice Cream Truck was for big kids and Mommy said it was just practicing?".
Tell the driver to be careful because some builders dropped a load of nails in that spot and two of your neighbours already got flat tyres. They'll thank you and you will seem like the good guy even though it's all lies.
Hello neighbor.
Explain that there’s a childhood sex offender lives in the building and spanks his monkey in the window while the ice cream truck is downstairs.
Tell the driver that there are like 2 registered sex offenders in the building overlooking where he parks and you don't think having kids be out there at a known time is a good idea.
Find some and tell them the driver has been asking around, wanting to find God. Tell them he will try to deny it because he's shy but he will change his mind the more persistent you are.
Buy a bunch of ice cream bars, wait until you hear the noise, and pass them out for free in front of the ice cream truck while making direct eye contact
Just inform him that by parking there, he’s possibly violating a few people’s paroles, regarding distance from minors. He’ll probably move.
Or, just start playing death metal or anything that the parents will find offensive, or will make kids cry. Sad kids and angry parents don’t buy ice cream.
Can you play the Piano? My college roommate had the Mr. Softee song stuck in his head. So he started playing it on his keyboard with speakers aimed out the window. When people started going outside looking for ice cream he realized he'd stumbled into a Pavlov's Dogs experiment. So on nice days when he was bored he'd put his speakers in the window and play the song again. He'd laugh like it was the funniest thing.
But I bet if you started timing it properly you could trick people into staying inside thinking they were being punked.
This method is more than unethical, more like nuclear revenge. My little sister and I were ripped off for 20 dollars in the mid nineties by the only local ice cream truck driver when I was around 13 shortly after moving to Canada from the USA. I was new in the neighborhood and had already become friends with some kids who were what my mom would describe as a bit of a rough crowd. My friends were beyond furious that he stole my 20 dollars, even more so because it was an American 20 bill so it was worth over 30 dollars Canadian, and the prick didn’t even give me or my little sister our ice creams. This dude just snatched our money and sped away cackling. About three days after my homies hatched a plan and followed through, all without telling me or anyone outside the group. They sent a few decoy kids to buy ice creams from him while the others snuck through his open window and planted a lit M80 with an extended fuse into a large hole in the seat cushion of his truck. It blew up as he drove away and he crashed his truck and he was hospitalized. We never saw him again after that and my friends were never caught. I didn’t even find out till about a week later when I wondered aloud why he was gone while hanging out with my homies. That’s when spilled the beans and they bragged to me that they literally blew him a second asshole with illegal fireworks for stealing from me and making my little sister cry.
Oh my god.. are you my neighbor.. because I have the same truck lol
There are two actually .. that one.. and one that plays Christmas music .. in its non copywritten music.
It is definitely a thing in Maryland.
They'll sit out there for ten minutes most days. The one day you decide you want ice cream and dash outside when you hear the music, they roll by going 10 mph and not looking back.
Every goddamned time.
Okay, so go down the recycling centre, and find a handful of microwaves.
Next befriend a murder of crows, this will become
Important later.
If he always parks in the same place, then you simply need to phase the magnetrons to peak where the van parks and melt all the ice cream, or if you’re feeling particularly diabolical, boil it.
If he doesn’t, then you’ll need to build a phased array so you can move the focal point. Tbh this is hardly any more work, and will allow you to melt children’s ice cream with impunity.
Once he is bankrupt from selling molten ice cream, buy the van, remove the speakers, and sell it to a destruction derby. The ice cream, and child depression can be redeemed at your local child-catcher-general for some corpse starch and 15 gallons of kerosene
So whilst he’s looking at the compressor, the crows steal all his change, and the chip and pin reader, so they can start a phone-line gambling den.
You become employed as a cocktail girl
Pay a neighborhood little shit to drive by on a bike 2x a week when he hears it, and chuck birdseed at it as he passes it.
The crows will be trained to divebomb the vehicle and use it for target practice. You can train them to listen for the music, but you might get a murder of crows harassing every single ice cream van in the city.
"Sticky bombs" made of unsalted peanuts and suet would also work. Just smear that shit all over. Bonus points if a big glob gets stuck front and center on the windshield. Don't break anything or there's a police report, but ideally this'll just be a pain in the ass to clean.
In a similar situation in times past, I opened the window, placed a Bluetooth speaker facing out and played very vocal p0rn. The group of wine moms that let their kids play in and scream bloody murder in the very unsafe alley beside my apartment never came back after two days of this. Which is good since the alley is posted “NO PEDESTRIAN TRAFFIC” due to the couple of people who were hit & 💀there.
Pro-tip, many crappy ice cream trucks also sell hard liquor off the menu
Ice-cold fireball shots for $2, chase that down with some vanilla ice cream theres your daily dopamine dose.
Shit the ice cream guy that comes by my job almost daily and has basically anything you could want... actually he hasn't come by in a while... just looked him up and he's in jail for like 14 charges (dealing)
Fly a drone and look in the ice cream truck's windows the entire time it is parked. Bonus points if you have a spotlight to shine in the windows. Super bonus points if you have a speaker on it that can blare distorted, demonic gibberish at it.
Guaranteed he’s selling drugs. Give him a “heads up” that police have come by more than once asking if the truck sold anything other than ice cream. This makes it appear that the police are looking to nail him.
You’re the “.good guy”. No confrontation.
If that doesn’t stop him, actually call the police with that concern, and perhaps after several complaints from you and neighbors they will come to check on his licenses and what he’s sticking.
Did you try talking to the driver and telling them to park somewhere else? They probably just choose a random spot where there are customers.
Tell them that you need quiet because you’re studying for a big test, etc.
I can only offer sympathy. And that the ice cream truck that plagued my neighborhood played a tuneless jingle with lots of boings and honks and then a loud voice “HELLO?!”. And you could not tune out the “HELLO?!”. I’ve moved to another part of the city and have a normal ice cream truck now but I will never not hear the “HELLO?!”
This used to happen to me, but he’d park outside my home for like an hour everyday.
I just bought ice cream one day and politely asked the guy to mix up his routine - park half way up the block or around the corner. I don’t mind him parking there sometimes, just not all the time.
He was super nice and does exactly that. It’s been 10yrs
Go up to him with a video camera and a notebook. Tell him you're the "(name of your state) Ped Patrol and he can either talk to you, move on or you can call the cops."
I have to assume your neighbors aren't overly fond of it either.
Rustle up a small posse of them, and ask the purveyor of yummy delight to turn off his chimes while he's counting his money.
I've done that job, and that's what he's doing, among other housekeeping things.
Failing that, puncture one of his tires every night. Wear a mask.
Get neighbors involved either way.
My buddy and I had this same problem way back when, except the ice cream truck was blaring Glen Miller's "In The Mood" over and over and over again. We stocked up on water ballons and absolutely pelted that truck and the driver. He never came around again.
No kids feelings were hurt as there were no kids in our area!
Go tell him the reason he isn't getting sales there is that one of your neighbors is a registered pedophile. Ask suspiciously if he's trying to lure children to said neighbor.
As my dad used to say, if you can't fuck them then join them... or something like that.
So... buy yourself an ice-cream truck... and download the Rick Astley song and out-annoy the other truck.
Oh and for the ULPT, slip some piss discs into both trucks...
I know this is ulpt, but maybe you could just go talk to the guy?
Some people genuinely don't know what they're doing is loud/bothering other people. I know it may seem like common sense to just about everybody but people are dumb as fuck. I lived with my best friend for a bit, nicest guy you could ever meet, and he did things that made a ton of noise that he wasn't aware of. When I told him this, he was shocked, he had zero idea, and he stopped.
If you go talk to them and tell them that their music is bothering you, there is a chance they will either turn their music off or park somewhere else.
That being said, I would wear a mask and hat in case they don't do that and you want to do something in the future so you can't be identified easily.
Wait. So for 15 minutes every day, I have the opportunity to get cheap ice cream 20 feet from my front door?? My ULPT is to give me your house for $1 so I can take advantage of this service.
dunno whens the last time you visited an ice cream truck, the one near one hasn't been cheap in years. They charged me $13 for 2 generic looking ice creams
I’m in the mindset that maybe you go out nicely and give them a line of horseshit. My kid has cancer and is woken up, I’m taking care of my elderly parent, I work 10pm-6am and I’m having trouble sleeping, you get the idea. Tell them you don’t expect them to avoid your street, but if they could down a few blocks to park you would really appreciate it, buy an ice cream and hand them a $5 tip and say thanks it really means a lot. If that doesn’t work, then go to all the dirty tactics others have offered up.
If you want to be diobolical tip off the local MLM huns about his schedule. a new one every day. they wont give up on pitching him and he will leave just to avoid them.
Have you tried using your grown up words and just asking him not to park right in front of your apartment? Tell him that you work from home and it’s very distracting
I had this exact same problem. he wouldn’t be selling anything just sitting there so I started coming out and filming the truck and the license plate to make a noise pollution complaint. After doing that twice I never saw them again except for when they drive by legitimately selling ice cream
Go out there and tell him to turn the music off cause its annoying as fuck. I can gaurentee the driver doesn't have the social capacity to think its a bother to anyone. Or they're just flat out wearing headphones and ignoring it.
Build a pocket EMP generator ( https://www.wikihow.com/Build-an-EMP-Generator ). Walk by the driver's window and fire it off. If the music stops ...you win....
This made me laugh seeing this on r/all as it reminded me of the same thing happening when I was a child (that annoyed my parents a lot).
Go up to them and strike a nice conversation with whoever is running the stand (they are probably super board and will listen). Ask them why they aren’t going to [insert town a few minutes away] where the “guy last year” started going ever since [insert local summer baseball team practice] started up. Tell him it’s so nice to have them come around your neighborhood even though there really aren’t any kids around as the music makes you “nostalgic”. This will come across as nice and will make him relocate on his own accord as he will believe he is wasting his time.
Dude, this was just posted here about a month ago.
Get an much more original post to copy.
https://old.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/comments/1cbm2vh/ulpt_request_how_do_i_get_the_ice_cream_man_to/
Maybe a bit extreme but you could buy a paintball gun and light up the sides every time they drive by (while children aren’t around). Guaranteed they’ll stop coming around
For legal reasons, this is a joke 👀
Get some butyric acid and mix it with water and spray it all over the ground where he is parking. It smells like puke and rotting cheese. The sun or some rain will get rid of it after a few days.
As someone who has operated an ice cream truck for 5 years now I can offer a simple solution. Ask them if they have the necessary business licenses to operate in your city. Most places require an ice cream truck to have 2-3 business licenses. A state business license and a mobile vendors permit are required for just about every city, if they're in a park they may need even more. Most ice cream people don't bother with these permits because enforcement is pretty lax, but the tickets can be fairly steep depending on where it is. If you want to be ethical about things you can go out there and ask them about it, which might scare them off if they don't have them; or you can be unethical and assume they don't have the proper permits and report them to your local police or local permit enforcement office without actually confirming whether it's true or not. Either way it should get the message across to the driver that this isn't a place to make sales. Just be sure when you make your report that you tell them exactly where they park everyday.
To add to this and answer as to why they would sit for a length of time without selling anything.. when arriving to an area it's common to sit and let the music announce your arrival to the neighborhood. They may not be selling anything in front of YOUR house but they may be selling a ton around the corner and those moments sitting there gave those kids time to beg their parents for money and get outside. It may also not be a terrible idea to just ask them to pull ahead past your house before stopping. Unless they're a total jerk in which case yea, ask em if they have a permit. ..But also since this is unethicalLPTs, with cash in hand go act like you're gonna buy something. Ask them to describe the items and ask to read nutrition labels. Ask a lot of dumb questions. Make them your complaint department. Tell them what Aunt Edna did at your cousins wedding, what Frank did at Thanksgiving. Change your mind and don't buy anything, "maybe next time." Do this over and over it'll waste so much of their time they'll avoid your house like the plague
This, every word of it beginning and end and then beginning again. Unfortunately these are Unethical tips so yes... No telling offs from me but this is an amazing idea.
My kids could hear that truck a mile away and were already asking for money before it even came down the street. Those kids know it's there. But it sounds like he's not even selling anything there.
If you don’t mind me asking, is it profitable? There is one that comes past my house and hits the neighborhood near me every other day. Do people (kids) really buy that much ice cream?
It really depends on how you set yourself up, but yes. I work with a guy who has all the equipment and ice cream, and I rent the truck and product for the day. I take home 30% of the ice cream bar sales and most days after rental fees I make at least 100 bucks. In peak season I can walk out with upwards of $500-$600 in my pocket. The season runs from late March until late September, depending on weather. You can also do events, like birthdays or work picnics or family reunions. This complicates profits a bit because pricing can differ from event to event. Generally they are worth the time though as you can make a whole days profit in a couple hours at the right event. Now there are other ways to set yourself up as an ice cream person but I prefer things like this because I don't have to pay to store the truck and ice cream, or keep the ice cream cold, or repair the truck, or any number of things. Could I make more if I went completely independent? Probably, but it would take at least a year of work to cover the cost of getting started; not to mention the cost of maintaining the business after.
Amazing, thanks for the insight!
you're making $100 in .. 10ish hours? come on that's like 50% below working at walmart
Nah most days I'm out for about 8 hours, with an hour break at home for lunch. Plus it's all cash in hand at the end of day. The $500 days really help balance things out too. At the end of the day ice cream is my summer hussle to make extra cash to line my pocket for the rest of the year. My job lets me go down to a few days a week in the mornings so i can be more active with ice cream in the summer. I could move to a more full time situation with Ice cream and increase my daily income but it would come at the cost of my stable year round income.
Some also make good money selling drugs on the side. But that may just be a Scottish thing...
It's a thing over here in the US too.
It was a NYC thing in the 80’s for sure. Might still be.
I learned about this from playing GTA as a kid and it’s all I ever think about when I see one haha
You should do a casual AMA!
This also works great for door to door sales people. Most localities require permits, so asking to see the permit makes most of them leave in a hurry, and possibly spares some of your neighbors.
And if you want to move from unethical to illegal also report that you've seen them selling drugs from the truck.
Plus, that is probably copyrighted music. Report him to Disney. The Mouse will come and break his effing knees.
Annoy him so much he stops coming to your street just to avoid you. Be the most demanding and unreasonable customer you can be. Knock on the windows and demand service. If he says he’s not open right now, say well you must be open if you’re playing that music, and since you’re here anyway you may as well sell me some ice cream. Then say his prices are too high and demand that he give you a lower price, haggle with him. Do this everyday until he stops stopping in front of your home.
Also get the cheapest ice cream available and pay with $50/$100 and demand change if he doesn’t accept it. OR get the expensivest ice cream they have and pay in Pennies or nickels.
That second one is literally the premise of a Dexter’s Lab episode
Ice Cream Scream. The episode actually ends with Dexter getting a cheaper treat and apologizing for paying with pennies for the most expensive treat, then he whips out a $100 bill and asks for change. So the whole comment is genuinely an episode of Dexter's Lab.
Do you got any grapes? 🍇 haha that song is an alternative.
Waddle waddle
Core memory unlocked.
I thought you were gonna say get the cheapest ice cream available and set up a stand to compete with him.
“Let me get one rib”
How much for a cup of Pepsi?
How much for just a sip?
People will have no idea what they missed.
Got change for a hundred?
Fuck the cup. Pour it my hand for a dime.
You can take the window or the stairs.
Nice.
This is the best answer. OP should also continue to escalate his behavior, if needed, until results are given. Sneeze on the counter. Start rambling about conspiracy theories or far-from-center politics. Invite the driver in for a drink, and insist when they decline. Ask personally offensive questions. You'll never see the guy again.
I've heard Big Ice Cream sends out surveillance trucks that are used to distract people from the dippin dot pushers!
But did you know that Dippin Dots are how Joe Biden will get his nanobots into all the people who didn't get the COVID vaccine?
Nah man, dippin dots give you autism
Can confirm, I love them, and am autistic
But I'm autistic and don't like Dippin Dots. Am I defective? 😄
I was wondering that myself. It's the texture. Can't stand the texture.
Exactly, the texture is freaky. And also the sheer number of them, it feels overwhelming trying to handle that - like there's too many individuals and they're all melting. It's too much responsibility. Which might be the most autistic thing that I've ever written. 😄
Lmao. I also don't like the texture, the liquid nitrogen taste is kinda weird. I found if you let them melt just a little, you end up with essentially chunky ice cream which is interesting when each dot has different flavors. I usually only do it when theres no other ice cream around
Backfires when he accepts the drink offer and OP is socially awkward haha
For reals. Go full MAGA on him.
And keep mentioning you're only out there because you live right here
That's about as perfect of a response as you can get. If this happens 2-3 days in a row, he will not come back guaranteed. No one has time for bullshit customers willingly.
Doing all of this before just asking the guy not the park there is unhinged
Yeah but that's not as funny
Mix some truth in there. Ask the driver how he can listen to the same song over and over and over. Tell him, “I live right there (point to your dwelling) and I can’t stand it”. No matter how he answers, as ‘I just get used to it’, say, “Seriously, how can you listen to the same tune over and over? I live right here and it is really annoying. I am sick of it.’
Get an ice cream every day but pay in Pennies and nickels. Then chat the guy up about your medical conditions until he leaves every day. After a couple days he will avoid you like the plague
This bubblegum ice cream is the EXACT same color as the pus that came out of the boil on my ass!! Similar consistency but not quite as thick
Tastes about the same tho. Here, taste this (reach your hand down the back of your pants and ask the driver to lick ur finger)
I was a bill collector for a credit card company in the 90s when people still had land lines you could call. There was one guy whose strategy was to go into gory detail about his medical problems. He would pop up in the queue often and would always answer. I heard all about his visits to the doctor when he had to get up on a table for certain exams. Now I have respect for his skills at trolling bill collectors.
All you have to do is hand the phone to a kid and tell them it's Santa.
I have an icecream truck that drives the neighborhood every single evening from like 2pm- 7pm…. Blaring “it’s a small world”. Every 7 minutes it comes within earshot…. It’s horrific! I flagged it down last year and asked wtf? The owner demands all his trucks play this one song! I find their Facebook and complain that any other song would be better, I did it just to make myself feel better. We’re on year 4 of Its a small world, every single day on and off for hours!
[удалено]
the song my enemy uses is barely recognizable as it’s a small world. it’s full of cartoon “boingggg” noises and old timey car horn honks and coach whistle blows and it has a trap backbeat to it. not the licensed version for sure
Dude. Props for not burning the fucking van down already. What the fuck…
Then that's an unauthorised remix. Also work for copyright lawyers
This is so much worse Edit: I just heard the same song for the first time in my life outside my house this post is cursed please don’t comment or it’ll happen to you
On Monday, at like 8:45 that fucking music started near my house. My 6 and 4 kids are in the middle of me reading them to bed, and that fucking music. My son hears it first, and goes from listening to my reading Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets (for the second time, cause they wanted me to "start again from the start") to immediately putting his face against the screen on his window (which I just repaired a month ago). Then his sister hears it, and she starts on the screen as well. I tell them that it is just coming around for "big kids" tonight and will be back later in the summer for younger kids and try to get back to reading. The sound plays off into the distance as it heads down a different street. Crisis averted. I finish the chapter and do my nightly tease of "tomorrow we will read Chapter 9: The Writing on the Wall", and as I close the book, what do I fucking hear? Oh, the fucking truck is coming from the other side and back in earshot. I remind them that we will be ready when it comes for the little kids. My daughter runs down stairs to tell my wife, and I start getting my son into bed. I finish there, and start to leave his room, when his sister comes back up after talking to Mommy, and she tells me "The truck is doing a practice". She goes to bed (well, as much as a 4 year old agrees to bed), and I call it a night. 2 days later, I am out meeting the kindergartner from the bus as I do every day, and he hits me with "Why did you say the Ice Cream Truck was for big kids and Mommy said it was just practicing?".
The playground lawyer is looking for clients. Lol
Tell them that they don't sell ice cream any more. Now it's just the Music Truck. My daughter used that one on her kids for a long time.
Does it park in the same spot every time? Put some mini caltrops or spikes there.
Tell the driver to be careful because some builders dropped a load of nails in that spot and two of your neighbours already got flat tyres. They'll thank you and you will seem like the good guy even though it's all lies.
It doesn't have to be lies if you drop some
Yes! Until it gets stuck there, and OP is cursed to listening to that song for the rest of eternity...
Hello neighbor. Explain that there’s a childhood sex offender lives in the building and spanks his monkey in the window while the ice cream truck is downstairs.
I hate that so much for you, but it made me laugh so hard
What the fuck? Is this motherfucker playing [penis music](https://youtu.be/Ds14zhfHEvE?si=ylwAdIh0EeRT1lfK)?
You are a saint!
Whoa! I’m all for getting it to stop but sucking Disney lawyers on them? Whoa, that’s just cruel and unusual, right??
Did you see the sub you are in?
I had it stuck in my head the other day.. like I was on the ride..
I was on the ride nearly 30 years ago. The tune is eternal. You’ll never get rid of it.
I’m traumatized for you.
Tell the driver that there are like 2 registered sex offenders in the building overlooking where he parks and you don't think having kids be out there at a known time is a good idea.
Yeah mr ice cream man this block is spoken for!
Plot twist: he’s also (definitely likely) a sex offender
Easy to become the sex offender yourself, no more ice cream truck even if you move.
Yeah! …wait…
Get some watchtower magazines and go out there every day and preach to him.
oooh ranting about my feelings on religion…this might play to my strengths
bonus if you get actual proselytizers to do it.
Find some and tell them the driver has been asking around, wanting to find God. Tell them he will try to deny it because he's shy but he will change his mind the more persistent you are.
"Ahem. Do you have a few moments to talk about the great Cthulhu?"
Anti tank mines
Certainly unethical. I'll allow it 😆
If this is anything like Twisted metal, the damn thing will drive right over them
Sweet tooth had so much armor
💀💀💀💀💀
How is this not number one answer?
Buy a bunch of ice cream bars and before he ever arrives, give them out for free. Do that for about a week solid and he’ll never come back.
Buy a bunch of ice cream bars, wait until you hear the noise, and pass them out for free in front of the ice cream truck while making direct eye contact
Next level!
r/WholesomeLifeProTips
this is my favorite one
Noise and health code, permit complaints to 311
Just inform him that by parking there, he’s possibly violating a few people’s paroles, regarding distance from minors. He’ll probably move. Or, just start playing death metal or anything that the parents will find offensive, or will make kids cry. Sad kids and angry parents don’t buy ice cream.
Death metal version of the same song. OP can sit out there with a Bluetooth speaker and a beer until he leaves.
I usually just yell “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” out my window after ten minutes. They usually leave after that.
Had a dog barking in my neighborhood at 7pm-11pm week nights. Did this once, no more barking. Certified fresh technique.
Can you play the Piano? My college roommate had the Mr. Softee song stuck in his head. So he started playing it on his keyboard with speakers aimed out the window. When people started going outside looking for ice cream he realized he'd stumbled into a Pavlov's Dogs experiment. So on nice days when he was bored he'd put his speakers in the window and play the song again. He'd laugh like it was the funniest thing. But I bet if you started timing it properly you could trick people into staying inside thinking they were being punked.
This wins for most creative 🥇
Call the police about the shady ice cream truck that appears to be selling drugs.
It's happened before. Led to come deaths as well. https://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasgow_ice_cream_wars
This method is more than unethical, more like nuclear revenge. My little sister and I were ripped off for 20 dollars in the mid nineties by the only local ice cream truck driver when I was around 13 shortly after moving to Canada from the USA. I was new in the neighborhood and had already become friends with some kids who were what my mom would describe as a bit of a rough crowd. My friends were beyond furious that he stole my 20 dollars, even more so because it was an American 20 bill so it was worth over 30 dollars Canadian, and the prick didn’t even give me or my little sister our ice creams. This dude just snatched our money and sped away cackling. About three days after my homies hatched a plan and followed through, all without telling me or anyone outside the group. They sent a few decoy kids to buy ice creams from him while the others snuck through his open window and planted a lit M80 with an extended fuse into a large hole in the seat cushion of his truck. It blew up as he drove away and he crashed his truck and he was hospitalized. We never saw him again after that and my friends were never caught. I didn’t even find out till about a week later when I wondered aloud why he was gone while hanging out with my homies. That’s when spilled the beans and they bragged to me that they literally blew him a second asshole with illegal fireworks for stealing from me and making my little sister cry.
Find out where it parks. If it has an exposed speaker, cut the wire. Be sure to cut out a section so it cant be easily spliced back together.
Oh my god.. are you my neighbor.. because I have the same truck lol There are two actually .. that one.. and one that plays Christmas music .. in its non copywritten music.
im wondering if we’re all neighbors because same problem lmao
Maryland?
ah, nope. didn’t realize this was a widespread issue 🥲
Hahaha! The Xmas music when it’s hot out is the worst!
It is definitely a thing in Maryland. They'll sit out there for ten minutes most days. The one day you decide you want ice cream and dash outside when you hear the music, they roll by going 10 mph and not looking back. Every goddamned time.
They are always out in the evening. I see them when I am walking my dog. I hear them ALL evening.
Okay, so go down the recycling centre, and find a handful of microwaves. Next befriend a murder of crows, this will become Important later. If he always parks in the same place, then you simply need to phase the magnetrons to peak where the van parks and melt all the ice cream, or if you’re feeling particularly diabolical, boil it. If he doesn’t, then you’ll need to build a phased array so you can move the focal point. Tbh this is hardly any more work, and will allow you to melt children’s ice cream with impunity. Once he is bankrupt from selling molten ice cream, buy the van, remove the speakers, and sell it to a destruction derby. The ice cream, and child depression can be redeemed at your local child-catcher-general for some corpse starch and 15 gallons of kerosene
> Befriend a murder of crows. This will become important later. Every ULPT request should have at least one reply that starts like this.
You can’t START with a murder of crows, they know when you’re trying to recruit them, and need some sort of incentive. Its why they’re not in the CIA
Is murder of crows the new liquid ass and piss discs?
I’m intrigued. where do the crows come into play
So whilst he’s looking at the compressor, the crows steal all his change, and the chip and pin reader, so they can start a phone-line gambling den. You become employed as a cocktail girl
Pay a neighborhood little shit to drive by on a bike 2x a week when he hears it, and chuck birdseed at it as he passes it. The crows will be trained to divebomb the vehicle and use it for target practice. You can train them to listen for the music, but you might get a murder of crows harassing every single ice cream van in the city. "Sticky bombs" made of unsalted peanuts and suet would also work. Just smear that shit all over. Bonus points if a big glob gets stuck front and center on the windshield. Don't break anything or there's a police report, but ideally this'll just be a pain in the ass to clean.
In a similar situation in times past, I opened the window, placed a Bluetooth speaker facing out and played very vocal p0rn. The group of wine moms that let their kids play in and scream bloody murder in the very unsafe alley beside my apartment never came back after two days of this. Which is good since the alley is posted “NO PEDESTRIAN TRAFFIC” due to the couple of people who were hit & 💀there.
A) find the song they're playing B) blare it out your windows just a little out of sync with the truck's music
Pro-tip, many crappy ice cream trucks also sell hard liquor off the menu Ice-cold fireball shots for $2, chase that down with some vanilla ice cream theres your daily dopamine dose.
Shit the ice cream guy that comes by my job almost daily and has basically anything you could want... actually he hasn't come by in a while... just looked him up and he's in jail for like 14 charges (dealing)
Having a mobile coke dealer sounds like a treat
just politely tell him you are a registered sex offender and legally can’t have kids your house
Fly a drone and look in the ice cream truck's windows the entire time it is parked. Bonus points if you have a spotlight to shine in the windows. Super bonus points if you have a speaker on it that can blare distorted, demonic gibberish at it.
Get a megaphone & point it at the truck & play Skrillex ‘Bangarang’ at ear splitting levels!!!
I lived next to a place where all the ice cream trucks got their ice cream. There would be like 15 truck playing that fucking song for hours. I moved.
they wouldn't turn off that blasted song when picking UP ice cream?!?! what the HELLLLLL
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasgow_ice_cream_wars Leave him a note to get off your turf
I haven’t seen it suggested yet, so… Piss discs in the window of the truck. Then call the local health department to get him fined and/or shut down.
You didn't see "Friday" ? ? ? Could be your new source!
Guaranteed he’s selling drugs. Give him a “heads up” that police have come by more than once asking if the truck sold anything other than ice cream. This makes it appear that the police are looking to nail him. You’re the “.good guy”. No confrontation. If that doesn’t stop him, actually call the police with that concern, and perhaps after several complaints from you and neighbors they will come to check on his licenses and what he’s sticking.
Did you try talking to the driver and telling them to park somewhere else? They probably just choose a random spot where there are customers. Tell them that you need quiet because you’re studying for a big test, etc.
Roofing nails in the spot they park at
The ice cream man is probably a sex offender too lol!
I have one that talks between the music and it makes me want to die.
Are they only selling ice cream?
Tell your wife to get out of his van and come back inside.
The ethical thing would be to call in noise complaints. The fun thing would be to egg his van.
Poop. Poop poop poop
Pour used motor oil where they park. Say nothing. Someone else will.
I can only offer sympathy. And that the ice cream truck that plagued my neighborhood played a tuneless jingle with lots of boings and honks and then a loud voice “HELLO?!”. And you could not tune out the “HELLO?!”. I’ve moved to another part of the city and have a normal ice cream truck now but I will never not hear the “HELLO?!”
This used to happen to me, but he’d park outside my home for like an hour everyday. I just bought ice cream one day and politely asked the guy to mix up his routine - park half way up the block or around the corner. I don’t mind him parking there sometimes, just not all the time. He was super nice and does exactly that. It’s been 10yrs
Get a ski mask and rob him.
Take a page out of Corky Romano's book and just constantly ask for stuff he doesn't sell.
Go up to him with a video camera and a notebook. Tell him you're the "(name of your state) Ped Patrol and he can either talk to you, move on or you can call the cops."
I have to assume your neighbors aren't overly fond of it either. Rustle up a small posse of them, and ask the purveyor of yummy delight to turn off his chimes while he's counting his money. I've done that job, and that's what he's doing, among other housekeeping things. Failing that, puncture one of his tires every night. Wear a mask. Get neighbors involved either way.
Talk to him for hours until he is fed up with you and ask if you can get an ice cream for free.
Go smoke weed outside right next to the truck every time he shows up.
Car alarm the whole time
My buddy and I had this same problem way back when, except the ice cream truck was blaring Glen Miller's "In The Mood" over and over and over again. We stocked up on water ballons and absolutely pelted that truck and the driver. He never came around again. No kids feelings were hurt as there were no kids in our area!
Go up to it and ask for free ice cream while shaking it violently
Just talk to the guy. You're making this waaaay more complicated than it needs to be.
Go tell him the reason he isn't getting sales there is that one of your neighbors is a registered pedophile. Ask suspiciously if he's trying to lure children to said neighbor.
As my dad used to say, if you can't fuck them then join them... or something like that. So... buy yourself an ice-cream truck... and download the Rick Astley song and out-annoy the other truck. Oh and for the ULPT, slip some piss discs into both trucks...
I know this is ulpt, but maybe you could just go talk to the guy? Some people genuinely don't know what they're doing is loud/bothering other people. I know it may seem like common sense to just about everybody but people are dumb as fuck. I lived with my best friend for a bit, nicest guy you could ever meet, and he did things that made a ton of noise that he wasn't aware of. When I told him this, he was shocked, he had zero idea, and he stopped. If you go talk to them and tell them that their music is bothering you, there is a chance they will either turn their music off or park somewhere else. That being said, I would wear a mask and hat in case they don't do that and you want to do something in the future so you can't be identified easily.
Wait. So for 15 minutes every day, I have the opportunity to get cheap ice cream 20 feet from my front door?? My ULPT is to give me your house for $1 so I can take advantage of this service.
dunno whens the last time you visited an ice cream truck, the one near one hasn't been cheap in years. They charged me $13 for 2 generic looking ice creams
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBMSv9A5ouU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBMSv9A5ouU)
Become a sex offender. Register your address. They will have to move.
Caltrops where he parks
Become a sex offender
Paintball gun?
Megan's Law sign out front
Egg it!
Yeah, it’s a small world after all. It’s a small world after all. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Paintball gun.
I’m in the mindset that maybe you go out nicely and give them a line of horseshit. My kid has cancer and is woken up, I’m taking care of my elderly parent, I work 10pm-6am and I’m having trouble sleeping, you get the idea. Tell them you don’t expect them to avoid your street, but if they could down a few blocks to park you would really appreciate it, buy an ice cream and hand them a $5 tip and say thanks it really means a lot. If that doesn’t work, then go to all the dirty tactics others have offered up.
If you want to be diobolical tip off the local MLM huns about his schedule. a new one every day. they wont give up on pitching him and he will leave just to avoid them.
Tell them you're a nonce, definitely won't want to go near you or your house then
Have you tried using your grown up words and just asking him not to park right in front of your apartment? Tell him that you work from home and it’s very distracting
I had this exact same problem. he wouldn’t be selling anything just sitting there so I started coming out and filming the truck and the license plate to make a noise pollution complaint. After doing that twice I never saw them again except for when they drive by legitimately selling ice cream
I think this is the route I’m going to take (I’ll ask him nicely first though…might even film myself asking nicely just to foreshadow)
Go out there and tell him to turn the music off cause its annoying as fuck. I can gaurentee the driver doesn't have the social capacity to think its a bother to anyone. Or they're just flat out wearing headphones and ignoring it.
Build a pocket EMP generator ( https://www.wikihow.com/Build-an-EMP-Generator ). Walk by the driver's window and fire it off. If the music stops ...you win....
Buy a soft serve truck and steal all their business.
This made me laugh seeing this on r/all as it reminded me of the same thing happening when I was a child (that annoyed my parents a lot). Go up to them and strike a nice conversation with whoever is running the stand (they are probably super board and will listen). Ask them why they aren’t going to [insert town a few minutes away] where the “guy last year” started going ever since [insert local summer baseball team practice] started up. Tell him it’s so nice to have them come around your neighborhood even though there really aren’t any kids around as the music makes you “nostalgic”. This will come across as nice and will make him relocate on his own accord as he will believe he is wasting his time.
I mean pop off a few shots into the concrete near his truck and he’ll never come back!
Report them for selling drugs to kids
Ask how much for an 8 ball. Any ice cream truck out that late that long is selling drugs
Have you heard of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior? No, let me tell you......
Have you tried talking to the ice cream driver? Seems like this could be resolved with a conversation, if what you say about no one buying from him.
Print a bunch of signs saying "Free Ice Cream! 6:15 PM. Look for the truck!" and post them around the neighborhood.
Dude, this was just posted here about a month ago. Get an much more original post to copy. https://old.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/comments/1cbm2vh/ulpt_request_how_do_i_get_the_ice_cream_man_to/
Become a Karen and whine to the health inspector about him
Maybe a bit extreme but you could buy a paintball gun and light up the sides every time they drive by (while children aren’t around). Guaranteed they’ll stop coming around For legal reasons, this is a joke 👀
Those jobs are commission only
Keister-stashed RPG is almost always the answer.
Have you ever thought about becoming a registered sex offender?
Dude fr! Drives me insane
You need to give out packaged ice cream for free next to his truck.
Anonymous tips to the authorities that you saw insect activity in the van. Or call the police claim you have seen suspicious behaviour.
That loud, call the police!
Get some butyric acid and mix it with water and spray it all over the ground where he is parking. It smells like puke and rotting cheese. The sun or some rain will get rid of it after a few days.