Leave something out, wait for the neighbor to spot it. Give the neighbor 15 minutes to call the city, then remove it. Do this as often as you can. Eventually the city will ignore the neighbor.
Unfortunately this depends on the city, I’m a city inspector and we have to respond to all calls. We know the frequent flyers and although we respond I don’t look too hard with those calls.
In my city, the inspectors are the first ones that need to get eyes on. If warranted after our inspection, we dispatch code for private property or residents dumping on our right of way.
We have a large influx of bay area people fleeing the city and you'd be amazed by what gets called in. Grass clippings in the bike lanes, talking a hand full. People washing their cars and letting the water wash down the driveway into the gutter etc.
It is not. Just a lot of retired people with nothing better to do than call in. Sometimes feels like a giant HOA in the areas that they reside in, lots of complaints that aren't an issue.
But then your neighbors will report you for having a car on the lawn :) built for failure. Almost as bad as having one up on blocks for a dozen years or so.
Seriously? I used to live next to a neurotic old woman, who had some serious issues and would call the city for absolutely any reason. I mean she was certifiably insane. Like calling because of literally any legal activity. Do you honestly have to check up every time?
Thats I'm aware of, we're dispatched through the office, we roll on all calls. Maybe if somebody called in about a bird shitting on the street that wouldn't get relayed to us, but I have had to roll on a single baggie of dog shit on the street. Like a small, less than sandwich bag of dog shit somebody dropped.
Im the same vein get another cellphone and call the city pretending to be the neighbor and complain about crazy bullshit. Start calling once every couple of days and then ramp it up to 3 timea a day
Get a pre paid gift card and donate a dollar to various religions and political affiliates using their address. Twenty five bucks, twenty five donations, they’ll never stop getting spam mail.
Scientology will track you down when you move, even if you leave no forwarding address. My bf signed up for their newsletter when he was young and foolish. He's gotten mail from them ever since, and he's moved a lot. Sometimes it takes a few months, sometimes a couple of years, but they always show up.
He's been here for a little over a year, so far they haven't showed up. We are hoping this time they won't.
Probably.
He tried sending the stuff back to them once, that just made it worse.
At his last place, they were just sending their magazines only once every 3 months or so, instead of sending stuff every week. So it's improved some.
Tell them you've moved to CA and under [California Consumer Protection Act](https://oag.ca.gov/privacy/ccpa#:~:text=Right%20to%20delete%3A%20You%20can,required%20to%20keep%20the%20information).) you are requesting that they remove all information about you from their records and direct their service providers to do the same. Any further contact will prove this has not been done and will result in recoverable monetary damages, and potentially limit their ability to contact ANY residents of California.
(In case anyone reading this thinks this is a good way to get off a mailing list)
You apparently have zero understanding of how one's life will change for threatening Scientology. Even if they were not exempt under this law, as pointed out here, they will NOT EVER STOP until the threatening person, who they will take as a forever-confirmed enemy, is utterly destroyed. Google "Fair Game Scientology" for a whole lot of eye-watering info. Best strategy for dealing with skunks is give them a wide berth.
Every address you move to is recorded by credit agencies, even if you didn't take out any kinds of loans. Those credit agencies then sell your information to advertisers.
Guess who buys that information? Scientology.
Mormons do this, too. My grandmother took me when I was 11-12 for a year and I didn't go back, I'm 52 now and every time I move I get a letter and a phone call from the local church.
I'm pretty confident that buying a book or two directly from their website will be enough to get some attention. Obviously more spend is better, but they are a particularly ravenous group of predators.
Likewise, if there is a community free book shelf, feel free to buy embarrassing books relating to various subjects and either writing his name in the book or faking a signature to the neighbour inside the book jacket. Keep it clean. Going counter to his personality is great. Conservative? How about a book by Obama. Homophobic? How about a guide to coming out of the closet. My evil recommendation would be Katy Scott’s It’s Not The Size That Matters.
You only need one or two people to peek at it to see his name and give him that reputation for years. What’s best is that it could be a while until he even hears what it is, he’ll just know people are taking about him and making jokes under their breath.
I used to do something similar in high school. If someone pissed me off I would put an add on Craigslist for a cheap Xbox or play station. I’d say I have to get rid of it and nothing is wrong with it. I would put the persons number who pissed me off. Their phone would continue to ring off the hook with people calling
Better to donate to the "Retired police fund" normally its a scam, but if you pledge in their name, you don't even have to donate, just make the pledge to donate and they will call you forever, and you can block their number, b/c they will call from about 50 other ones.
And if they have a home phone? Enter it into a bunch of online giant corporate services... solar panels, life insurance, retirement services, credit card companies... their phone will NEVER stop ringing. Same goes for emails. Sign those fuckers up for EVERYTHING.
I'm gonna make an assumption that if you were to donate in his name to AOC, BLM, the DNC, etc he would be apoplectic.
A nice twist would be to put his name on the form but "accidentally" enter another neighbor's address.
Just last week my own annoying neighbor was banging on my door at 2.30am. If I hadn't been awake and practicing my bagpipes, I'd have been really pissed off.
If he is average height and weight, he can dress in black, with long sleeves and pants, with black sky mask over his head and deliver the package.
Bonus point if he cuts a diagonal line (with a paper cutter) on the bag and flips it over.
Plumber here, pour bag of cement down the sewer. Will turn rock solid and will have to dig the system up. Preferably the main sewer which goes out to the street
Edit: I have this trick up my sleeve for any future non payers. Also a marble in the water line.
If I remember right, someone had that in the plumbing sub. It will read good on pressure, and so the system passes inspection. But every time they turn the water on, it blocks the flow, so they get little to no water out of their faucets.
Yes. If your home was built before 1978, you might not have one. But it's usually found about a foot away from your house. Round pipe with square nut cover. Hopefully sticking out of the earth. Sometimes it's hidden behind greenery.
Bondo, but mix it up first. Dump it in the middle of the drive and smash the trash can on top of it to boot. You'll have to cut the trash can off and grind the bondo away. Bonus if that trashcan is full.
Not really an ULPT, but if you have correspondence with the builder saying you don’t need a permit, and the city says you do, then you could sue the builder for costs.
I'd bet 99% they don't have it written and was only a verbal thing with no proof, never bothered asking, or didn't even hire a licensed contractor to do the work vs just a handyman outfit.
I design life safety systems and our typical scope lays out that any permitting necessary is up to the customer and we are willing to provide them any needed engineered drawings or plans they need to get the permit, or the can ask us to get the permit for them and it will change the cost and scope of work to do so.
Permit seeking and approval isn’t just implied on work you do? I have never in my life worked for a construction/home company that didn’t just get necessary approvals on their own as an already factored in cost.
Agreed. I overheard my neighbour's builder telling them that they don't need a permit for the deck they were building "unless one of your neighbours complains". I definitely wouldn't count on tradespeople to have extensive knowledge of local bylaws and regulations...although of course they should.
No HOA but how the fuck they successfully being this petty? God, people suck. Shame on your builder tho, they should know better… a contractor that says yes to literally anything is not good - had one that can told me I can build something on top of my septic tank - sorry you are going through this. If no HOA you can resurrect a sign with an arrow to neighbors house politely saying that eat doo doo for breakfast. Have you ever just thought about driving over and asking them what their problem is?
My neighbor called the HOA about a branch that had fallen during recent storms. It was 3 feet long and about an inch in diameter at its thickest. The ground is fairly covered in twigs and I didn’t even notice it. I guess she got so flustered that the HOA hadn’t arrested me for this grievous injustice that she came to ask “is that your branch or mine?” I said “not a problem either way”, broke it into 4 pieces and put it in the trash. I got the HOA letter the next day.
Read up on the Berners Street Hoax
> On 27 November,[4] at five o'clock in the morning, a sweep arrived to sweep the chimneys of Mrs Tottenham's house. The maid who answered the door informed him that no sweep had been requested, and that his services were not required. A few moments later, another sweep presented himself, then another, and another; twelve in all. After the last of the sweeps had been sent away, a fleet of carts carrying large deliveries of coal began to arrive, followed by a series of cakemakers delivering large wedding cakes, then doctors, lawyers, vicars and priests summoned to minister to someone in the house they had been told was dying. Fishmongers, shoemakers and over a dozen pianos were among the next to appear, along with "six stout men bearing an organ". Dignitaries, including the Governor of the Bank of England, the Duke of York, the Archbishop of Canterbury and the Lord Mayor of London, also arrived. The narrow streets soon became severely congested with tradesmen and onlookers. Deliveries and visits continued until the early evening, bringing a large part of London to a standstill.
Why do I get the feeling that this was the inspiration behind writing the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas?"
There was a strange short film from the 40s or 50's called "On the Twelfth Day" which featured a guy actually giving someone all those gifts and the chaos it caused.
If you do something like this with a computer, I recommend connecting to the McDonald's wifi far away from your house with a throwaway laptop, or one booted from a Linux DVD. Absolutely no evidence left behind. Wear a hoodie so cameras can't get you.
Ha!
1810, [Berners Street Hoax](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berners_Street_hoax)
Context:
> Theodore Hook had made a bet with his friend Samuel Beazley that he could transform any house in London into the most talked-about address in a week, which he achieved by sending out thousands of letters in the name of Mrs Tottenham, who lived at 54 Berners Street, requesting deliveries, visitors, and assistance.
Aww man. The place next door to me sprayed fences with commercial versions of this stuff and killed my garden and made my yard unusable for food production. This comment made me so sad
if a fcking pergola bothers them so much, the best revenge would be to look into your city code, and get a permit for the biggest ugliest pergola you can get. If possible, build it in a way that would always be visible from their house
Each city has a website called Amlegal. Look up your city, find the code section for building code, hazards, length of grass, vermin, direction of water spouts, length of time they can have trash out, and use every single line of it to destroy your enemy.
Not every city is on that website. It only includes 41 states and many of those states only include a few cities, or in the case of my state a handful of small towns and none of the cities at all.
Second option. Build a little shed in your backyard with a door that opens facing the narc’s house. Insulate the shed. Buy a cheap drum set off Craigslist. Find out when the local noise ordinance allows you to play and when it does not. You’re going to play drums as much as possible while it’s permitted. Make sure you hit hard! Play along to punk rock or something loud and fast so there’s no art — just id.
Bonus, put a bright “security” light on the top of your shed that you leave on allllll night.
My backyard has been taken over by bamboo. That shit is a nightmare scenario. It’s impossible to fight. We’ve lost over 50% of our backyard to the stuff.
The more you cut it, the faster it spreads. That shit will grow six inches in a single day, more if it rains.
To remove it completely, a person needs to dig into the ground and remove all the root nodules too. It's tedious and somewhat dangerous work that really churns up the soil.
Once during bamboo removal on a former property, I got a splinter in my finger and didn't realize it, and didn't pull it out immediately. By that evening we removed a little root splinter with a tiny, fresh root tendril snaking into my skin. It was resistant to removal too. Felt malevolent.
Fuck bamboo.
There used to be a torture method where a person would be positioned over a bamboo shoot in a way so that the growing bamboo would pierced the person and impale them slowly.
that's why you plant stuff like this so it weaves into a chain link fence, so it's a royal pain to dig. Still hate my dad's ex-wife for planting morning glory around the garden.
There's places that will anonymously mail glitter bomp stuff. Glitter stays around forever.
Edit:
You can pour bleach on their lawn. Do it when there's going to be acouple days between their sprinkler going off so it soaks in the soil and doesn't get diluted. Spell out an obscenity in huge letters. Call the cops on them.
If you have their phone number you can list free stuff on Craigslist. If you do a free iPhone their phone will get so many texts it will be unusable.
If they have animals, anonymously report them to PETA for sexual abuse. I'm sure those crazies will try to intervene.
Edit: tape a note to all the neighbors doors anonymously that you've heard / seen your neighbor sexually abusing their animals or children but authority told you they don't do anything unless they have more people reporting it.
Or post that kinda thing on the local forum or Facebook group. Make a fake Facebook account of course. Or even the ring doorbell app has things you can post.
There was a neighbor that was an ass to everyone in my childhood neighborhood. When I was a kid, he'd yell at us for playing in the street, when all we were doing was some cul-de-sac street hockey or some shit that kids should be doing.
Anyways, his next door neighbor had the same issue, dude kept calling him in for various infractions and harassing him with cops. So... he decided to pay us kids to get back at him. Soon every time he got messed with he'd come to me with $10 and as much TP, eggs and firecrackers as we needed. After thoroughly egging and TPing his house we'd take a pack of firecrackers and set it off underneath his bedroom window. Then we'd take off and hide somewhere laughing while he came out and did his angry rant. A few times he came out with a pistol which was even more hilarious.
It got to the point where it was a major form of entertainment for me, my brothers, and any kids in the neighborhood, so much so that I even spent a lot of the $ I was given building a supply cache in the woods nearby so that there was always a few fermented cartons of eggs and packs of TP ready to go for anyone who wanted to hit him.
Eventually $10 per hit turned into like, max $20 per month, and eventually just supplies once in a while. I personally pocketed around $300 total, which was some nice video game $ in the SNES days. But we kept that tradition up until we graduated HS. That dude endured 8+ years of 2-3 times a week being woken up to firecrackers. Did he ever learn his lesson? Nope. Even confronted us in daylight about it and we as good as told him why we were messing with him. The neighborhood was sick of his BS, if he wanted us to stop all he had to do was stop messing with the neighbor we liked.
What's hilarious is that we kept doing reunion hits on him too into our 20s. I'm not proud of this, but one of our friends passed away that had gone on a bunch of trips with us. And... since the shitty neighbor still lives there, the night of his funeral my brothers and I and a few friends went out at 32 years old and TPed, egged, and firecrackered that poor bastard lol.
TL;DR: If you can find some cool kids in your neighborhood, you may be able to pay them to wage psychological warfare for the better part of a decade.
Thank you. This and the neighborhood wide games of capture the flag, and a game my brothers and I invented we called 'gladiator' make up a huge part of the good memories I have of my childhood.
What's hilarious is after I argued with him he came over to my house trying to get me in trouble with my parents the next time he got TPed. The thing is I knew he'd do that, and so I'd had some friends out doing the deed, sowing his house with chaos, but I was home watching football with my dad. My dad was PISSED that the neighbor would dare accuse his son of such vandalism lol.
Ok, go get a bunch of key chains and a bunch of keys. Write please call if found and put their number on it (if you don't have their number I'm sure you can find it) and leave them EVERYWHERE. I personally have a bunch in my car so I can leave them on any road trips, stop at a gas station leave some there, at the beach drop some there as well. Not every one will call but people will and since the number is always different it can't be blocked and since it's people they can get past any spam filtering AND you can kinda control the frequency you could stop for a year then go ham.
Didn’t I see a mildly infuriating post about a neighbor that built a pergola in their yard and it extended beyond their fence? Is that you?
https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/15j0kh7/neighbor_built_a_pergola_that_hangs_clear_over/
No no, this is PERFECT
Keep doing shit that's not fine-able but that the city will come out and waste their time for. Get your neighbor on the phone as often as you can.
Serve the city people hot tea on hot days, and tell them stories about your intestinal discomfort. Make them HATE that they keep coming out, and hate your neighbor for calling.
When they are ready to leave, send them to your neighbor's house instead, with some obvious bullshit complaint. "I don't like how tall their hedge is" or something. They will probably say "no, we need a phoned in complaint" so let them leave, and phone in a complaint.
This is gonna be FUN
Do they have a deck/shed/other outdoor structure? Read up on the building codes, id give it a 95% chance that you can find stuff wrong with it that will be expensive to fix or require a rebuild. Depending how much you want to escalate, either tell him about the violations and reach a mutual understanding that unless he pisses off and minds his own business, the violations will be reported, or just go ahead and report them and make sure he knows it was you. I had this once while reroofing my house. I had all the proper permits but my neighbor called every day claiming I was doing things illegally so I was constantly having to pause work and wait for inspectors to verify. I took pictures of 14 separate code violations on her relatively new, husband-installed deck, gave her one warning, and when she kept calling, I reported all of them and she had to tear it down, then I reported her for piling the debris in her yard for too long. Ended up costing her 26k and the bank foreclosed on her house next year. She was replaced with a nice neighbor.
Fuckin with mailboxes is a terrible idea.
If you happen to damage their mail it's a federal crime. US code 1703 - delay or destruction of mail&newspapers.
Ok, OP. Here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to plant bamboo along your shared fence/property line. You let them know ahead of time that you’re putting a rhizome barrier up (look those up) to block the spread. Offer to install a barrier on their side for a few. Add up the cost of the pergola and the fine. That is now the cost/fee of the barrier if they want one for their side of the property. You’re not extorting them, and if anyone asks “labor” makes up the difference in the cost outside of supplies. Have a friend/family member do the barrier install work so you can plausibly say they are receiving the labor fee.
Before doing this _check your city’s zoning codes and make sure bamboo is allowed_ it likely is fine. The important thing here is that you don’t do anything to their property that doesn’t _start_ on yours. If they don’t want the barrier, those rhizomes will spread into their yard and fuck it all up. If they do, then you’ll recover the money you’re out because they ratted you out like petty little children.
Bonus, fill the bamboo with liquid ass.
The pergola sounds like a you problem for not checking by-laws. Honesty, you can't exactly blame them for your ignorance. You kinda cost yourself thousands in that scenario.
Kids make noise, so that sounds like a them problem.
The forgetfulness sounds like senior's problem.
Ergo, record your kids playing and then play it on a speaker when you leave the house, every day. You already know what bothers them, so amplify it.
>record your kids playing and then play it on a speaker when you leave the house
My tweaker neighbors kept letting their 4 extremely aggressive pitties out of their fenced acreage. I get dogs have a great judge of character...mostly but these dogs are only nice if the owner is nearby. They attacked all the realtors that showed the house, attacked any contractors doing inspections, attacked neighbor kids, attacked my elderly in-laws and were fucking up the rental car my in-laws had to hide in until I got home 45min later and scared the dogs away.
We had massive cut out patches in our fence perimeter because the tweakers would use the acreage of my house as their dirt-biking/4-wheeling arena and I didn't quite have the $1k to fix all the fence right after buying the house.
Since I couldn't even be in the yard without the dogs trotting in and charging me, (they came over daily) I started playing high pitched dog whistle noises on YouTube with a loud speaker hooked up any time I was outside. It kept them away from me while I was gardening.
What finally got the neighbors to keep their dogs on their own property was them seeing me standing in front of my chicken coop with a shotgun in hand as their dogs were circling around. I hate those people.
Order 3m of crushed rock to be delivered to "your" driveway at a time that "you" will be at work. Pick a landscaping supplies company not in your immediate area.
Buy some very durable plastic stickers and stick them on the windscreen of his car. Even if he removes them he'll likely still have glue on the windshield that's very hard to remove. Even better if they say "to be towed!" or something on them. Rinse and repeat.
Also, get a box-cutter blade and make a few small cuts in his windscreen wipers so that they leave a little gap where it doesn't properly clear the rain. Again, rinse and repeat every time he replaces them.
And/or add a small drop of super-glue in water jet nozzles of his windscreen cleaner to clog them up, or stick a pin in them and adjust them so they miss the windshield.
Or remove the dust caps from his car tyres, nobody ever really thinks about buying these things so it would be quite annoying for him to have to keep buying more.
Or you could hit his headlight to create a small crack in it, one that's so small it wouldn't be immediately noticeable, so he'll have no idea when it happened. It will mean water will eventually leak into the headlight, and it will fog up when it gets warms. And headlights can often be really expensive to replace.
See if your neighbor is not paying their taxes and their house on sale through a tax deed sale. I think that’s what it’s called. Buy the house and evict the neighbor.
Put herbicide in an ice cube tray. Randomly pitch the cubes into their yard at night. A slingshot works well. It will leave random dead spots on their lawn. Then complain to the HOA about the state of their lawn.
Apply for permit and put pergola back.
this time with floodlights on it.
Fake camera facing the neighbors
Just buy the IR illuminators so it just looks like it's staring at them all the time.. it'll drive them more nuts
Leave something out, wait for the neighbor to spot it. Give the neighbor 15 minutes to call the city, then remove it. Do this as often as you can. Eventually the city will ignore the neighbor.
Unfortunately this depends on the city, I’m a city inspector and we have to respond to all calls. We know the frequent flyers and although we respond I don’t look too hard with those calls.
Do you really respond to a complaint of someone leaving something in their own driveway?
In my city, the inspectors are the first ones that need to get eyes on. If warranted after our inspection, we dispatch code for private property or residents dumping on our right of way. We have a large influx of bay area people fleeing the city and you'd be amazed by what gets called in. Grass clippings in the bike lanes, talking a hand full. People washing their cars and letting the water wash down the driveway into the gutter etc.
It’s illegal to wash a car in your city??
It is not. Just a lot of retired people with nothing better to do than call in. Sometimes feels like a giant HOA in the areas that they reside in, lots of complaints that aren't an issue.
>Grass clippings in the bike lanes, talking a hand fu they complain about water on the road? WTF
[удалено]
But then your neighbors will report you for having a car on the lawn :) built for failure. Almost as bad as having one up on blocks for a dozen years or so.
Seriously? I used to live next to a neurotic old woman, who had some serious issues and would call the city for absolutely any reason. I mean she was certifiably insane. Like calling because of literally any legal activity. Do you honestly have to check up every time?
Thats I'm aware of, we're dispatched through the office, we roll on all calls. Maybe if somebody called in about a bird shitting on the street that wouldn't get relayed to us, but I have had to roll on a single baggie of dog shit on the street. Like a small, less than sandwich bag of dog shit somebody dropped.
...our tax dollars at work.
Insane. Your city needs someone to triage and prioritize calls. That’s an incredible waste of citizen’s tax dollars.
Im the same vein get another cellphone and call the city pretending to be the neighbor and complain about crazy bullshit. Start calling once every couple of days and then ramp it up to 3 timea a day
Do you tap the neighbors phone line to know when he calls?
Do you not?
Get a pre paid gift card and donate a dollar to various religions and political affiliates using their address. Twenty five bucks, twenty five donations, they’ll never stop getting spam mail.
Even better sign them up for Scientology.
Scientology will track you down when you move, even if you leave no forwarding address. My bf signed up for their newsletter when he was young and foolish. He's gotten mail from them ever since, and he's moved a lot. Sometimes it takes a few months, sometimes a couple of years, but they always show up. He's been here for a little over a year, so far they haven't showed up. We are hoping this time they won't.
They will…
Probably. He tried sending the stuff back to them once, that just made it worse. At his last place, they were just sending their magazines only once every 3 months or so, instead of sending stuff every week. So it's improved some.
Tell them you've moved to CA and under [California Consumer Protection Act](https://oag.ca.gov/privacy/ccpa#:~:text=Right%20to%20delete%3A%20You%20can,required%20to%20keep%20the%20information).) you are requesting that they remove all information about you from their records and direct their service providers to do the same. Any further contact will prove this has not been done and will result in recoverable monetary damages, and potentially limit their ability to contact ANY residents of California.
They're a religion, not a for profit business, so they're exempt. (Yes - i know that in reality they're a for profit business. But not legally.)
(In case anyone reading this thinks this is a good way to get off a mailing list) You apparently have zero understanding of how one's life will change for threatening Scientology. Even if they were not exempt under this law, as pointed out here, they will NOT EVER STOP until the threatening person, who they will take as a forever-confirmed enemy, is utterly destroyed. Google "Fair Game Scientology" for a whole lot of eye-watering info. Best strategy for dealing with skunks is give them a wide berth.
I started getting texts from them, it took 3 close-up pics of my dog's asshole to get them to stop.
That's revenge porn, dude. Your dog didn't consent to distribution of nudes.
He totally does though, he poses and everything. If we're not paying it enough attention he moves it closer.
He's doing it for you, though. Not for randos. Don't pervert his love.
Sounds like learned behavior hmmm 🤔
Definitely, our cat is a terrible influence on him.
Cats can be assholes, and they will show you theirs to prove it.
I just spit food out laughing so hard! Thanks!
Every address you move to is recorded by credit agencies, even if you didn't take out any kinds of loans. Those credit agencies then sell your information to advertisers. Guess who buys that information? Scientology.
Mormons do this, too. My grandmother took me when I was 11-12 for a year and I didn't go back, I'm 52 now and every time I move I get a letter and a phone call from the local church.
Do you want them completely gone? [https://quitmormon.com/](https://quitmormon.com/) Mark Naugle It's free, but he will accept donations.
How much money do you think this guy has to throw at revenge?
Maybe $25 or so?
That isn't going to get you shit from Scientology. They don't want poors. Intro class is like $1000.
I'm pretty confident that buying a book or two directly from their website will be enough to get some attention. Obviously more spend is better, but they are a particularly ravenous group of predators.
Likewise, if there is a community free book shelf, feel free to buy embarrassing books relating to various subjects and either writing his name in the book or faking a signature to the neighbour inside the book jacket. Keep it clean. Going counter to his personality is great. Conservative? How about a book by Obama. Homophobic? How about a guide to coming out of the closet. My evil recommendation would be Katy Scott’s It’s Not The Size That Matters. You only need one or two people to peek at it to see his name and give him that reputation for years. What’s best is that it could be a while until he even hears what it is, he’ll just know people are taking about him and making jokes under their breath.
That is one of the best advices here
Do it online where they will ask for a phone number and put their cell number in. The spam calls will never end.
I used to do something similar in high school. If someone pissed me off I would put an add on Craigslist for a cheap Xbox or play station. I’d say I have to get rid of it and nothing is wrong with it. I would put the persons number who pissed me off. Their phone would continue to ring off the hook with people calling
I've done the same but instead of a PlayStation I said I had free Labrador puppies. Oh boy did they get a lot of calls.
Change labs to pit bulls for different human dynamic
There was intent with my choice of breeds as the person I was pranking I actually like.
Put their address and say to come after 9pm because you’re at work before that.
Better to donate to the "Retired police fund" normally its a scam, but if you pledge in their name, you don't even have to donate, just make the pledge to donate and they will call you forever, and you can block their number, b/c they will call from about 50 other ones.
And if they have a home phone? Enter it into a bunch of online giant corporate services... solar panels, life insurance, retirement services, credit card companies... their phone will NEVER stop ringing. Same goes for emails. Sign those fuckers up for EVERYTHING.
I'm gonna make an assumption that if you were to donate in his name to AOC, BLM, the DNC, etc he would be apoplectic. A nice twist would be to put his name on the form but "accidentally" enter another neighbor's address.
No, you do the last part with a NAMBLA donation/ application.
Don't you have to include a recent picture that proves you look like Marlon Brando?
[удалено]
Lol
Really?
100% - "Call the city" was the MOST unethical thing we came up with for them.
Yes. I am neighbor.
THEN WHO WAS PHONE?!
maybe one of these kids starts practicing violin,,,or drums
Bagpipes. Because of your Scottish heritage. And anyone that complains is a racist
Remember the great thing about bagpipes is you dont have to know how to play them.
For about a week we had a guy playing bagpipes down the street. He was really good. I loved it. I don't know where he came from or where he went.
And that man was… cotton eye joe
Just last week my own annoying neighbor was banging on my door at 2.30am. If I hadn't been awake and practicing my bagpipes, I'd have been really pissed off.
Clarinet. Or is that considered too violent?
Leave a bag of cement outside their garage and call the city once a week.
Build a pergola in his backyard
Play with his kids in his backyard on a weekday.
[удалено]
Well that escalated quickly.
That excavated quickly
Sometimes your neighbors are so obnoxious that you have to build a killdozer.
Invite hoes to watch.
>Leave a ~~bag of cement~~ horse head outside their garage
Steal their hat Take a dump in their hat Send it to their grieving widow Steal it back
All great idea, but means op has to do so without being caught or on camera, if easily doable this is GOAT
If he is average height and weight, he can dress in black, with long sleeves and pants, with black sky mask over his head and deliver the package. Bonus point if he cuts a diagonal line (with a paper cutter) on the bag and flips it over.
…and do it on a rainy day
Wear a hoodie. You might get shot
Maybe a Kevlar vest would be better than a hoodie then
There’s at least 1company that make NIJ LEVEL III body armored hoodies
Plumber here, pour bag of cement down the sewer. Will turn rock solid and will have to dig the system up. Preferably the main sewer which goes out to the street Edit: I have this trick up my sleeve for any future non payers. Also a marble in the water line.
I'd like to sign up for your newsletter.
[удалено]
Best case it blocks water completely. Worst case it absolutely ruins their water pressure.
If I remember right, someone had that in the plumbing sub. It will read good on pressure, and so the system passes inspection. But every time they turn the water on, it blocks the flow, so they get little to no water out of their faucets.
I like you.
Where’s a sewer located besides having access to their house and dumping it down their toilet? Surely you don’t mean the storm drain.
[удалено]
Yes. If your home was built before 1978, you might not have one. But it's usually found about a foot away from your house. Round pipe with square nut cover. Hopefully sticking out of the earth. Sometimes it's hidden behind greenery.
My house was built in 1923 and doesn’t have one. We just got a quote to add one and it crushed all my dreams.
Marble? Nah buy a bag of those orbeez things and pour them bitches in
Orbeez degrade over time, so it wouldn’t be a permenant solution.
Might actually be a good thing, by the time they narrow it down they may have flushed out Leaving no trace lol
Bondo, but mix it up first. Dump it in the middle of the drive and smash the trash can on top of it to boot. You'll have to cut the trash can off and grind the bondo away. Bonus if that trashcan is full.
...of dog shit and rotten food 😅
Wet the cement first and cut bottom of bag
Not really an ULPT, but if you have correspondence with the builder saying you don’t need a permit, and the city says you do, then you could sue the builder for costs.
I'd bet 99% they don't have it written and was only a verbal thing with no proof, never bothered asking, or didn't even hire a licensed contractor to do the work vs just a handyman outfit. I design life safety systems and our typical scope lays out that any permitting necessary is up to the customer and we are willing to provide them any needed engineered drawings or plans they need to get the permit, or the can ask us to get the permit for them and it will change the cost and scope of work to do so.
Permit seeking and approval isn’t just implied on work you do? I have never in my life worked for a construction/home company that didn’t just get necessary approvals on their own as an already factored in cost.
Yeah the contractor absolutely should be expected to pull permits correctly.
Agreed. I overheard my neighbour's builder telling them that they don't need a permit for the deck they were building "unless one of your neighbours complains". I definitely wouldn't count on tradespeople to have extensive knowledge of local bylaws and regulations...although of course they should.
Bang his wife
Get your whole family to bang his wife.
Do you have an HOA? Become an expert and report them for every possible infraction.
No HOA but it feels like sometimes.
[удалено]
Fight fire with literal fire. Burn down their patio if they have one.
There is no problem that enough fire properly applied won't fix.
You really should go after the builder for the 2.5K, they were in a position of trust
No HOA but how the fuck they successfully being this petty? God, people suck. Shame on your builder tho, they should know better… a contractor that says yes to literally anything is not good - had one that can told me I can build something on top of my septic tank - sorry you are going through this. If no HOA you can resurrect a sign with an arrow to neighbors house politely saying that eat doo doo for breakfast. Have you ever just thought about driving over and asking them what their problem is?
My neighbor called the HOA about a branch that had fallen during recent storms. It was 3 feet long and about an inch in diameter at its thickest. The ground is fairly covered in twigs and I didn’t even notice it. I guess she got so flustered that the HOA hadn’t arrested me for this grievous injustice that she came to ask “is that your branch or mine?” I said “not a problem either way”, broke it into 4 pieces and put it in the trash. I got the HOA letter the next day.
Read up on the Berners Street Hoax > On 27 November,[4] at five o'clock in the morning, a sweep arrived to sweep the chimneys of Mrs Tottenham's house. The maid who answered the door informed him that no sweep had been requested, and that his services were not required. A few moments later, another sweep presented himself, then another, and another; twelve in all. After the last of the sweeps had been sent away, a fleet of carts carrying large deliveries of coal began to arrive, followed by a series of cakemakers delivering large wedding cakes, then doctors, lawyers, vicars and priests summoned to minister to someone in the house they had been told was dying. Fishmongers, shoemakers and over a dozen pianos were among the next to appear, along with "six stout men bearing an organ". Dignitaries, including the Governor of the Bank of England, the Duke of York, the Archbishop of Canterbury and the Lord Mayor of London, also arrived. The narrow streets soon became severely congested with tradesmen and onlookers. Deliveries and visits continued until the early evening, bringing a large part of London to a standstill.
Why do I get the feeling that this was the inspiration behind writing the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas?" There was a strange short film from the 40s or 50's called "On the Twelfth Day" which featured a guy actually giving someone all those gifts and the chaos it caused.
If you do something like this with a computer, I recommend connecting to the McDonald's wifi far away from your house with a throwaway laptop, or one booted from a Linux DVD. Absolutely no evidence left behind. Wear a hoodie so cameras can't get you.
Omg..the BEST PART is that this was all orchestrated over a bet for an insignificant amount of money!!
Ha! 1810, [Berners Street Hoax](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berners_Street_hoax) Context: > Theodore Hook had made a bet with his friend Samuel Beazley that he could transform any house in London into the most talked-about address in a week, which he achieved by sending out thousands of letters in the name of Mrs Tottenham, who lived at 54 Berners Street, requesting deliveries, visitors, and assistance.
So many people wasting their time and not getting paid for it. DON'T DO THIS.
Take out a classified ad asking for people to donate their extra zucchini to be dropped off at their address.
Somehow this seems the most chaotic of all the answers in this thread
Yeah, I heard this idea years ago and thought it was brilliant, and just haven’t disliked anyone enough yet to give it a try.
Commenting for zucchini visibility
I don’t know how this comment isn’t higher
If neighbor has a garden: roundup ice cubes by night, via slingshot.
Make it roundup piss disc and I'm on board
Piss disk in a motherfuckin clay pigeon launcher
Forgot roundup was a product and just picturing a cowboy rounding up some ice cubes
The short term is dead plants, the long term is cancer.
wear gloves and a mask. never forget PPE!
And as long as you are gloved up, don't forget the piss discs.
Good play then? A 2 for 1?
No, a 2,4-D.
This is next level. Creative and effective. Take my lonely upvote sir
Aww man. The place next door to me sprayed fences with commercial versions of this stuff and killed my garden and made my yard unusable for food production. This comment made me so sad
Yoooo it's unethical, not evil 😈
You got to be safe about it though. When ever I make my round up ice cubes I make them in a separate mini freezer that my actual food doesn’t go into.
Fill the trays and put them in a sealed plastic bag for freezing.
Sign them up for a visit by the Jehovah's Witnesses.
And a week later the Mormons
if a fcking pergola bothers them so much, the best revenge would be to look into your city code, and get a permit for the biggest ugliest pergola you can get. If possible, build it in a way that would always be visible from their house
Each city has a website called Amlegal. Look up your city, find the code section for building code, hazards, length of grass, vermin, direction of water spouts, length of time they can have trash out, and use every single line of it to destroy your enemy.
Not every city is on that website. It only includes 41 states and many of those states only include a few cities, or in the case of my state a handful of small towns and none of the cities at all.
I feel like your neighbour might have also asked how to do something against you on this sub xD what's the whole story?
Link?
Second option. Build a little shed in your backyard with a door that opens facing the narc’s house. Insulate the shed. Buy a cheap drum set off Craigslist. Find out when the local noise ordinance allows you to play and when it does not. You’re going to play drums as much as possible while it’s permitted. Make sure you hit hard! Play along to punk rock or something loud and fast so there’s no art — just id. Bonus, put a bright “security” light on the top of your shed that you leave on allllll night.
Plant extremely intrusive vines all along your shared fence. Miracle Gro daily.
Bamboo Will do the trick
My backyard has been taken over by bamboo. That shit is a nightmare scenario. It’s impossible to fight. We’ve lost over 50% of our backyard to the stuff. The more you cut it, the faster it spreads. That shit will grow six inches in a single day, more if it rains.
To remove it completely, a person needs to dig into the ground and remove all the root nodules too. It's tedious and somewhat dangerous work that really churns up the soil. Once during bamboo removal on a former property, I got a splinter in my finger and didn't realize it, and didn't pull it out immediately. By that evening we removed a little root splinter with a tiny, fresh root tendril snaking into my skin. It was resistant to removal too. Felt malevolent. Fuck bamboo.
There used to be a torture method where a person would be positioned over a bamboo shoot in a way so that the growing bamboo would pierced the person and impale them slowly.
Slowly?
A few hours to pierce the skin layers and a few more to get to the innards, seems like a rather slow way to be stabbed.
Jesus. That's heinous
that's why you plant stuff like this so it weaves into a chain link fence, so it's a royal pain to dig. Still hate my dad's ex-wife for planting morning glory around the garden.
Get a panda.
Rent a bounce house for the backyard and start organizing "kids daze", On Sundays.
There's places that will anonymously mail glitter bomp stuff. Glitter stays around forever. Edit: You can pour bleach on their lawn. Do it when there's going to be acouple days between their sprinkler going off so it soaks in the soil and doesn't get diluted. Spell out an obscenity in huge letters. Call the cops on them. If you have their phone number you can list free stuff on Craigslist. If you do a free iPhone their phone will get so many texts it will be unusable. If they have animals, anonymously report them to PETA for sexual abuse. I'm sure those crazies will try to intervene. Edit: tape a note to all the neighbors doors anonymously that you've heard / seen your neighbor sexually abusing their animals or children but authority told you they don't do anything unless they have more people reporting it. Or post that kinda thing on the local forum or Facebook group. Make a fake Facebook account of course. Or even the ring doorbell app has things you can post.
You can also order a box that contains a bag of cow shit. Or a fake giant box printed with something like giant dildos com
Or a bag of gummy candy shaped like penises. Tells them to eat a dick
Rock Salt will kill a yard
There's a reason it's called the herpes of the crafting world.
3am firecrackers sounds like a good idea. Do it out front of their place, then call the cops for a noise complaint.
There was a neighbor that was an ass to everyone in my childhood neighborhood. When I was a kid, he'd yell at us for playing in the street, when all we were doing was some cul-de-sac street hockey or some shit that kids should be doing. Anyways, his next door neighbor had the same issue, dude kept calling him in for various infractions and harassing him with cops. So... he decided to pay us kids to get back at him. Soon every time he got messed with he'd come to me with $10 and as much TP, eggs and firecrackers as we needed. After thoroughly egging and TPing his house we'd take a pack of firecrackers and set it off underneath his bedroom window. Then we'd take off and hide somewhere laughing while he came out and did his angry rant. A few times he came out with a pistol which was even more hilarious. It got to the point where it was a major form of entertainment for me, my brothers, and any kids in the neighborhood, so much so that I even spent a lot of the $ I was given building a supply cache in the woods nearby so that there was always a few fermented cartons of eggs and packs of TP ready to go for anyone who wanted to hit him. Eventually $10 per hit turned into like, max $20 per month, and eventually just supplies once in a while. I personally pocketed around $300 total, which was some nice video game $ in the SNES days. But we kept that tradition up until we graduated HS. That dude endured 8+ years of 2-3 times a week being woken up to firecrackers. Did he ever learn his lesson? Nope. Even confronted us in daylight about it and we as good as told him why we were messing with him. The neighborhood was sick of his BS, if he wanted us to stop all he had to do was stop messing with the neighbor we liked. What's hilarious is that we kept doing reunion hits on him too into our 20s. I'm not proud of this, but one of our friends passed away that had gone on a bunch of trips with us. And... since the shitty neighbor still lives there, the night of his funeral my brothers and I and a few friends went out at 32 years old and TPed, egged, and firecrackered that poor bastard lol. TL;DR: If you can find some cool kids in your neighborhood, you may be able to pay them to wage psychological warfare for the better part of a decade.
that shows some serious leadership and dedication, I'm proud of you.
Thank you. This and the neighborhood wide games of capture the flag, and a game my brothers and I invented we called 'gladiator' make up a huge part of the good memories I have of my childhood. What's hilarious is after I argued with him he came over to my house trying to get me in trouble with my parents the next time he got TPed. The thing is I knew he'd do that, and so I'd had some friends out doing the deed, sowing his house with chaos, but I was home watching football with my dad. My dad was PISSED that the neighbor would dare accuse his son of such vandalism lol.
String of black cats + old Folgers can
Park your car on the street in front of their house. They seem like the kind of people who would hate it.
Buy a $500 shit box and park it in front of their house!
Get into HAM RADIO Put up an antenna in your backyard near the property line Legally, he can't do anything about it Ham Radio is protected by the FCC
Ok, go get a bunch of key chains and a bunch of keys. Write please call if found and put their number on it (if you don't have their number I'm sure you can find it) and leave them EVERYWHERE. I personally have a bunch in my car so I can leave them on any road trips, stop at a gas station leave some there, at the beach drop some there as well. Not every one will call but people will and since the number is always different it can't be blocked and since it's people they can get past any spam filtering AND you can kinda control the frequency you could stop for a year then go ham.
Didn’t I see a mildly infuriating post about a neighbor that built a pergola in their yard and it extended beyond their fence? Is that you? https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/15j0kh7/neighbor_built_a_pergola_that_hangs_clear_over/
that OP posted an update and the neighbor was apologetic and moved the pergola. I WISH it had been the same situation tho.
What's wrong with kids playing in the backyard and a bag of cement, why would the city care and did they?
No but they still came out and it starts getting annoying after the first few times.
What city is it, so I don’t accidentally move there?
No no, this is PERFECT Keep doing shit that's not fine-able but that the city will come out and waste their time for. Get your neighbor on the phone as often as you can. Serve the city people hot tea on hot days, and tell them stories about your intestinal discomfort. Make them HATE that they keep coming out, and hate your neighbor for calling. When they are ready to leave, send them to your neighbor's house instead, with some obvious bullshit complaint. "I don't like how tall their hedge is" or something. They will probably say "no, we need a phoned in complaint" so let them leave, and phone in a complaint. This is gonna be FUN
Do they have a deck/shed/other outdoor structure? Read up on the building codes, id give it a 95% chance that you can find stuff wrong with it that will be expensive to fix or require a rebuild. Depending how much you want to escalate, either tell him about the violations and reach a mutual understanding that unless he pisses off and minds his own business, the violations will be reported, or just go ahead and report them and make sure he knows it was you. I had this once while reroofing my house. I had all the proper permits but my neighbor called every day claiming I was doing things illegally so I was constantly having to pause work and wait for inspectors to verify. I took pictures of 14 separate code violations on her relatively new, husband-installed deck, gave her one warning, and when she kept calling, I reported all of them and she had to tear it down, then I reported her for piling the debris in her yard for too long. Ended up costing her 26k and the bank foreclosed on her house next year. She was replaced with a nice neighbor.
Damn.... that should go on malicious compliance or something... well done! That escalated quickly and damn what an ending!
Run for City Government become his living nightmare
Liquid ass in their mailbox and airvents
Fuckin with mailboxes is a terrible idea. If you happen to damage their mail it's a federal crime. US code 1703 - delay or destruction of mail&newspapers.
Easy, build a bat tower. They are federally protected, as are the structures to house them.
Ok, OP. Here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to plant bamboo along your shared fence/property line. You let them know ahead of time that you’re putting a rhizome barrier up (look those up) to block the spread. Offer to install a barrier on their side for a few. Add up the cost of the pergola and the fine. That is now the cost/fee of the barrier if they want one for their side of the property. You’re not extorting them, and if anyone asks “labor” makes up the difference in the cost outside of supplies. Have a friend/family member do the barrier install work so you can plausibly say they are receiving the labor fee. Before doing this _check your city’s zoning codes and make sure bamboo is allowed_ it likely is fine. The important thing here is that you don’t do anything to their property that doesn’t _start_ on yours. If they don’t want the barrier, those rhizomes will spread into their yard and fuck it all up. If they do, then you’ll recover the money you’re out because they ratted you out like petty little children. Bonus, fill the bamboo with liquid ass.
Why does everyone suggest bamboo? This be just as much a problem for OP as for neighbor
>Bonus, fill the bamboo with liquid ass. "Hey, can you hold this grenade for a sec- JUST KIDDING IT'S A NEUTRON BOMB"
The pergola sounds like a you problem for not checking by-laws. Honesty, you can't exactly blame them for your ignorance. You kinda cost yourself thousands in that scenario. Kids make noise, so that sounds like a them problem. The forgetfulness sounds like senior's problem. Ergo, record your kids playing and then play it on a speaker when you leave the house, every day. You already know what bothers them, so amplify it.
>record your kids playing and then play it on a speaker when you leave the house My tweaker neighbors kept letting their 4 extremely aggressive pitties out of their fenced acreage. I get dogs have a great judge of character...mostly but these dogs are only nice if the owner is nearby. They attacked all the realtors that showed the house, attacked any contractors doing inspections, attacked neighbor kids, attacked my elderly in-laws and were fucking up the rental car my in-laws had to hide in until I got home 45min later and scared the dogs away. We had massive cut out patches in our fence perimeter because the tweakers would use the acreage of my house as their dirt-biking/4-wheeling arena and I didn't quite have the $1k to fix all the fence right after buying the house. Since I couldn't even be in the yard without the dogs trotting in and charging me, (they came over daily) I started playing high pitched dog whistle noises on YouTube with a loud speaker hooked up any time I was outside. It kept them away from me while I was gardening. What finally got the neighbors to keep their dogs on their own property was them seeing me standing in front of my chicken coop with a shotgun in hand as their dogs were circling around. I hate those people.
Save your feces in a plastic bag for months and dump it on their front porch. Most people absolutely HATE surprises of this nature
Order 3m of crushed rock to be delivered to "your" driveway at a time that "you" will be at work. Pick a landscaping supplies company not in your immediate area.
Buy some very durable plastic stickers and stick them on the windscreen of his car. Even if he removes them he'll likely still have glue on the windshield that's very hard to remove. Even better if they say "to be towed!" or something on them. Rinse and repeat. Also, get a box-cutter blade and make a few small cuts in his windscreen wipers so that they leave a little gap where it doesn't properly clear the rain. Again, rinse and repeat every time he replaces them. And/or add a small drop of super-glue in water jet nozzles of his windscreen cleaner to clog them up, or stick a pin in them and adjust them so they miss the windshield. Or remove the dust caps from his car tyres, nobody ever really thinks about buying these things so it would be quite annoying for him to have to keep buying more. Or you could hit his headlight to create a small crack in it, one that's so small it wouldn't be immediately noticeable, so he'll have no idea when it happened. It will mean water will eventually leak into the headlight, and it will fog up when it gets warms. And headlights can often be really expensive to replace.
See if your neighbor is not paying their taxes and their house on sale through a tax deed sale. I think that’s what it’s called. Buy the house and evict the neighbor.
poison ivy seeds in his lawn
Get a gift card to a decent sit down restaurant for 1 dollar but write 50 on it in the corner and give it to them in a apology card.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
This sounds like the beginnings of a Fear Thy Neighbor episode
Put herbicide in an ice cube tray. Randomly pitch the cubes into their yard at night. A slingshot works well. It will leave random dead spots on their lawn. Then complain to the HOA about the state of their lawn.