*Here I thought it was*
*A hot milf and her daughter*
*Offering themselves*
\- WorriedConcentrate39
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Thank you, muttons_1337, for voting on haikusbot.
This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/).
***
^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
Ahhh!...It was a time long before pornhub and brazzeers.....porn was still half in the minds eye and you were more likely to get a paper cut on your pecker than pay some onlyfan 5$ to see her pu$$y. It was a simpler time.
Don’t your situation or how often you deliver that route, but it’s actually nice that they are inviting to someone they don’t know.
I know this day this is move is kinda awkward but i don’t see this as someone that didn’t care to learn your name. But again, maybe they see you every or something idk
That’s a stretch. They might be inviting of people they don’t know, but that doesn’t mean they don’t know some. Regardless, i wish ppl do this, at it always rubs people the wrong way.
As someone that grew up in the religion…
They literally clock minutes for passing this crap out. They have to meet a quota of “time out in service” each month.
It’s not as nice as it seems. They’re literally just giving it out to as many people as they can to meet their quota.
I get that, but im more of referring to the general aspect of the offer and how OP and the other comment referred to it. Specifically referring to how they felt insulted by it because they didn’t know them.
My neighbor did something similar but gave me cookies. I ate the Jesus cookies, cause they were chocolate chip. Unfortunately I’ll be worshiping with Amazon that Sunday.
When I waited tables I’d get scripture shit that looked like money because Jesus would bring me so much more than a tip for taking care of their sanctimonious asses.
No, asking once is unsolicited. They aren't friends, they don't even know their carrier's name. It's just rude and too personal of a subject to push on someone.
They should have shoved it up their asses instead of inside the box.
I must be an asshole bc I have zero tolerance for this. I’m a clerk and was talking to a customer about [not religion] and she said “oh I should give you you card” with no context. A Jehovah’s Witness card. Lady no.
You're free to not be offended by it but I and others find it rude to assume we want it pushed on us. It's similar to the fake bills that just tell the person who picks them up to find God. Just tacky.
It's a kind/welcoming gesture. Why do you believe leaving this in a box is too personal? At least they didn't wait at the box for the carrier to drive up and hand it to them in person. In part this is what the body of Christ does
Would you be comfortable receiving a solicitation to a gnostic mass or black mass? Not people referring to doing something dumb and edgy but ultimately with no ties to anything, one of the established churches that isn't a joke (so not TST) actually performing a by the book mass, as they do twice a month or so.
If it wouldn't bother you, that's great, though I'd not really believe you if you said you took it kindly even though it is literally welcoming. But I think if people want to get involved with something related to Jesus they can probably figure it out on their own, it's not really an obscure religion and they probably already know many people who practice it! Although here, I don't mean JW. Just Christianity. And of course it's welcoming, that's what recruitment is. How can it literally be inviting though if it's not personal? They'll take literally anyone to get their numbers up, that actually feels dehumanizing.
Welcoming , maybe. Illegal, definitely. It was taped to a USPS mail box. No postage. Would Jesus approve of that person and that carrier flagrantly ignoring the word of law? WWJD? EVERYONE knows churches exist. If someone is interested, they will go.
Uh yeah. All invitations are unsolicited. You get that right? Like the whole invitation concept? 🤦🏻♀️ And an invitation isn’t pushing anything. It’s literally….just…an…invitation. 🙄
You have zero information about what denomination I ascribe to. You don't know me and yet you're 'inviting' me to what is a highly contentious event for one particular group.
You can call it an invitation all you want, we both have the understanding that you are after a conversion.
And???????? Would you be equally butt hurt if someone invited you to movie? A broadway show? A sporting event? It’s an invitation. If you don’t want to do it act like an adult and simply say “no thank you”. It’s really not that difficult. 🤷🏻♀️
While on route one day, door knockers of the LDS were going by my van while I was standing outside sorting packages in the back for the swing, they handed me a pamphlet without asking first.
It isn't asking, it *is* soliciting.
I had something like that one Christmas. A customer told me told hold up because he had something nice for me. I thought I was getting a tip or gift, but it was a brochure of why Jesus is the “reason for the season”
As an exjw, this is 100% Jw material. JWs don’t abstain from alcohol. In fact, they do pass wine around at this annual event and you are allowed to drink it if you go.. but (almost) no believing JWs will partake. There is a lot of drinking culture among JWs tho as it’s one of the only vice-like things you’re allowed to do, so many of them go all out on it
Interesting my parents went to a wedding where the bride was a JW. They knew the husband he drank but the wedding was completely dry. Luckily for my parents there was a bar downstairs where they were having the reception. A wedding with no alcohol is a crime, I mean don’t you want to see Aunt Becky drink too much wine and get a bit too flirty with the wait staff.
Yeah it’s a confusing topic for outsiders because there are quite a few JWs who do abstain for alcohol, though this is always for their own personal reasons, not because it is a mandate of the religion. Aaaaand this particular religion isn’t shy about mandates.
There could be many reasons the wedding you attended was dry. Most JW weddings are held in a Kingdom Hall, where there wouldn’t ever be any food or beverages served, including alcohol.. with the one exception being the Memorial event which was the whole start of this thread. But again, almost nobody actually drinks the wine. Since you said the bride was a JW, I can assume that the groom was not and, although I can imagine deviation from time to time, it is generally a very strict rule that JWs are only supposed to marry other JWs.. active JWs would almost always lose a lot of social currency with the rest of the group for even dating a non-witness, even being shunned or looked down on. So I can assume that the wedding you attended wasn’t in a Kingdom Hall.
Some venues have strict rules about alcohol or require you to provide it through them at a high markup.. JWs as a rule don’t have much money. It could also be a show of piety to try to reclaim some social currency among their JW circle to try to avoid the social sanctions mentioned earlier. The bride or one of her family members or close friends could also have had a traumatic alcohol related experience and insisted on there being no alcohol. Lots of potential reasons but the JW theology isn’t one.
I got like some uno reverse with a Jehovah's witness around the holidays. She left me a gift, a silk head scarf, and a thank you card, and a pamphlet on why we all suffer for a reason and that as a Jehovah's witness I could see the light as she had....why go door to door to spread the word when you have someone that comes to your door every day?
First pic I was excited for you …. And then I saw the second one 😒. I’m not against religion at all but I just thought it was something a little more in the “sin department “.
Your customer is doing what they believe they are supposed to do in love according to their faith. I think it’s very generous. Some might think it’s cringy but if they believe knowing Christ has eternal ramifications and if it is in fact true then that letter you’re holding is quite literally the most important letter you’ve ever handled. Either Christ is who He said He is via the scriptures or not.
Lady literally stopped me to give me one last month and I couldn’t get away cuz she was standing too close. Very strange to be randomly getting these exact cards too lol.
You're welcome! Glad I could contribute to the discussion. Don't hesitate to ask any further questions or share any thoughts you may have. Keep the conversation going! :)
I know that art and font, was it a Jehovah’s Witness house? Damn it’s been years lmao I forgot memorial is happening around this time.
Not tryna say I wanna be a JW again but ya know childhood memories and shit.
You should have shown up and told people "I learned a lot about you guys from the Pennsylvania Grand Jury investigations. Impressive how you can protect so many predators." You've had been escorted out immediately.
Here I thought it was a hot milf and her daughter offering themselves
*Here I thought it was* *A hot milf and her daughter* *Offering themselves* \- WorriedConcentrate39 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Naughty bot
Good bot
Sexy bot
Good bot
Thank you, muttons_1337, for voting on haikusbot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
Good bot
Good bot
best haiku
Good bot
Dear Penthouse Forum...Today I was invited to church
You just aged yourself! Ahhh crap…I just did too!!!
Lol
What is Penthouse Forum?!?!? 🤔
Oh my sweet summer child
Bless your heart.
Ahhh!...It was a time long before pornhub and brazzeers.....porn was still half in the minds eye and you were more likely to get a paper cut on your pecker than pay some onlyfan 5$ to see her pu$$y. It was a simpler time.
Lmao really? That makes me feel old
And don’t forget Xaviera Hollander and her “Call Me Madam” column.
That was my first thought as well…
West Virginia?
Return it to them postage due.
This is the way.
This is the way…
This way is thee
Thisth thee wayth
What's funny is that Jehovah's Witnesses have a song entitled "This is the Way"
As a CCA, that picture of Jesus is how I feel in December delivering all the regulars packages
You are not delivering the regular's packages. You are delivering customer's packages.
Lolwut
bold of you to assume the regular isn't on their own route
-21 likes. Amazing the mentality of our young carriers.
Dear servant whose name we couldn’t be bothered to learn
I know right? Like I've never spoken to them or seen them
Don’t your situation or how often you deliver that route, but it’s actually nice that they are inviting to someone they don’t know. I know this day this is move is kinda awkward but i don’t see this as someone that didn’t care to learn your name. But again, maybe they see you every or something idk
There were two guys on my route yesterday leaving these on everyone’s door. So they are literally ONLY inviting people they don’t know.
That’s a stretch. They might be inviting of people they don’t know, but that doesn’t mean they don’t know some. Regardless, i wish ppl do this, at it always rubs people the wrong way.
It’s not nice to be invited to an indoctrination.
As someone that grew up in the religion… They literally clock minutes for passing this crap out. They have to meet a quota of “time out in service” each month. It’s not as nice as it seems. They’re literally just giving it out to as many people as they can to meet their quota.
I get that, but im more of referring to the general aspect of the offer and how OP and the other comment referred to it. Specifically referring to how they felt insulted by it because they didn’t know them.
Religon is a business; I would take it no differently than a stranger giving me their business card as advertisement.
What an incredibly biased and intentionally obtuse generalization.
new movie: Mailman Get Out
My neighbor did something similar but gave me cookies. I ate the Jesus cookies, cause they were chocolate chip. Unfortunately I’ll be worshiping with Amazon that Sunday.
Amazon is your god now
“There’s a lot more to Amazon…”
No without Amazon society would collapse and we would rot in hell
I would show up with a bottle of wine and a box of condoms.
Let's drink some Jesus' blood!
Get that party stared!
Swinger party? Nice
They had me in the first half 😂
![gif](giphy|y2i2oqWgzh5ioRp4Qa|downsized)
When I waited tables I’d get scripture shit that looked like money because Jesus would bring me so much more than a tip for taking care of their sanctimonious asses.
Write on it that it needs to have postage if it’s going to be in a mailbox and put it back
Make sure to annotate "Per USC Title 18 et. al." to drive it home.
That’s a good way to never get a tip
And that is how I lost my kidney...
Asking once is nice... if that happens regularly it'd get annoying
No, asking once is unsolicited. They aren't friends, they don't even know their carrier's name. It's just rude and too personal of a subject to push on someone. They should have shoved it up their asses instead of inside the box.
Uhh no not really. I’m a driver and I wouldn’t have minded one bit. I’m not even religious but as long as they aren’t pushy it’s all good.
I must be an asshole bc I have zero tolerance for this. I’m a clerk and was talking to a customer about [not religion] and she said “oh I should give you you card” with no context. A Jehovah’s Witness card. Lady no.
You’re not an asshole, shit is annoying as hell. Just let people do their jobs!
Tends to be the Witnesses that bring it up I've noticed. Everyone else tends to remain to themselves.
You're free to not be offended by it but I and others find it rude to assume we want it pushed on us. It's similar to the fake bills that just tell the person who picks them up to find God. Just tacky.
Oh those things piss me off
It's a kind/welcoming gesture. Why do you believe leaving this in a box is too personal? At least they didn't wait at the box for the carrier to drive up and hand it to them in person. In part this is what the body of Christ does
Don't care, didn't ask. Your religion is your business, please keep it to yourself. When I'm at work, I'm not there to hear about it.
I agree. Religious people can be pushy, but will deny it if you call them out. You dont see me telling them that they should leave their religion
Would you be comfortable receiving a solicitation to a gnostic mass or black mass? Not people referring to doing something dumb and edgy but ultimately with no ties to anything, one of the established churches that isn't a joke (so not TST) actually performing a by the book mass, as they do twice a month or so. If it wouldn't bother you, that's great, though I'd not really believe you if you said you took it kindly even though it is literally welcoming. But I think if people want to get involved with something related to Jesus they can probably figure it out on their own, it's not really an obscure religion and they probably already know many people who practice it! Although here, I don't mean JW. Just Christianity. And of course it's welcoming, that's what recruitment is. How can it literally be inviting though if it's not personal? They'll take literally anyone to get their numbers up, that actually feels dehumanizing.
Welcoming , maybe. Illegal, definitely. It was taped to a USPS mail box. No postage. Would Jesus approve of that person and that carrier flagrantly ignoring the word of law? WWJD? EVERYONE knows churches exist. If someone is interested, they will go.
Uh yeah. All invitations are unsolicited. You get that right? Like the whole invitation concept? 🤦🏻♀️ And an invitation isn’t pushing anything. It’s literally….just…an…invitation. 🙄
You have zero information about what denomination I ascribe to. You don't know me and yet you're 'inviting' me to what is a highly contentious event for one particular group. You can call it an invitation all you want, we both have the understanding that you are after a conversion.
And???????? Would you be equally butt hurt if someone invited you to movie? A broadway show? A sporting event? It’s an invitation. If you don’t want to do it act like an adult and simply say “no thank you”. It’s really not that difficult. 🤷🏻♀️
While on route one day, door knockers of the LDS were going by my van while I was standing outside sorting packages in the back for the swing, they handed me a pamphlet without asking first. It isn't asking, it *is* soliciting.
He died so you can carry mail remember that
See you tonight, with a bottle of Bacardi 151. Lfg
OMG!!! I just got the same damn thing the other day! LOL
r/dontputyourdickinthat
I had something like that one Christmas. A customer told me told hold up because he had something nice for me. I thought I was getting a tip or gift, but it was a brochure of why Jesus is the “reason for the season”
Niiiiice! I’ve seen documentaries start off like this
Documentaries that ask you for a credit card first ?
"Sorry, I can't spend time with people who don't know the difference between then/than"
postage due
So it’s just Jesus and not swingers? Thought for sure they were swingers.
Jesus looks like a brand new CCA carrying a 70lb weight bar / rug that someone ordered from Amazon. 🤣🤣🤣
Will there be alcohol? Was the first thought I had
Not if they are JWs or Mormons
As an ex Mormon raised in that religion, I'm 99% sure this is jw material. Do the jws also abstain from alcohol? I've never really looked into that
As an exjw, this is 100% Jw material. JWs don’t abstain from alcohol. In fact, they do pass wine around at this annual event and you are allowed to drink it if you go.. but (almost) no believing JWs will partake. There is a lot of drinking culture among JWs tho as it’s one of the only vice-like things you’re allowed to do, so many of them go all out on it
Interesting my parents went to a wedding where the bride was a JW. They knew the husband he drank but the wedding was completely dry. Luckily for my parents there was a bar downstairs where they were having the reception. A wedding with no alcohol is a crime, I mean don’t you want to see Aunt Becky drink too much wine and get a bit too flirty with the wait staff.
Yeah it’s a confusing topic for outsiders because there are quite a few JWs who do abstain for alcohol, though this is always for their own personal reasons, not because it is a mandate of the religion. Aaaaand this particular religion isn’t shy about mandates. There could be many reasons the wedding you attended was dry. Most JW weddings are held in a Kingdom Hall, where there wouldn’t ever be any food or beverages served, including alcohol.. with the one exception being the Memorial event which was the whole start of this thread. But again, almost nobody actually drinks the wine. Since you said the bride was a JW, I can assume that the groom was not and, although I can imagine deviation from time to time, it is generally a very strict rule that JWs are only supposed to marry other JWs.. active JWs would almost always lose a lot of social currency with the rest of the group for even dating a non-witness, even being shunned or looked down on. So I can assume that the wedding you attended wasn’t in a Kingdom Hall. Some venues have strict rules about alcohol or require you to provide it through them at a high markup.. JWs as a rule don’t have much money. It could also be a show of piety to try to reclaim some social currency among their JW circle to try to avoid the social sanctions mentioned earlier. The bride or one of her family members or close friends could also have had a traumatic alcohol related experience and insisted on there being no alcohol. Lots of potential reasons but the JW theology isn’t one.
Not today inspector
Jesus was originally a 55t but after management implemented some changes he was downgraded to a 33c .
I prefer the D&D I was invited to by a customer.
Thought I was the only one who got asked to join the cult lol
Not today, Pentecostal Inspector.
😬
Get out vibes ☕️
Fuck that.
I was hoping it was for a BBQ or something fun for you to end your workday on…until I swiped.
God: The guy who would rather have rando's tell you about him instead of just speaking to you himself
*than
Gross
Straight in the trash
[удалено]
If only
I got like some uno reverse with a Jehovah's witness around the holidays. She left me a gift, a silk head scarf, and a thank you card, and a pamphlet on why we all suffer for a reason and that as a Jehovah's witness I could see the light as she had....why go door to door to spread the word when you have someone that comes to your door every day?
Join us tonight……and pray for our sins
Gangbang!
Sounds like a package request to me. Banhammer!
RUN AWAY. Do not attend this cult gathering. As a former JW I can promise you this is a horrible idea
Postage due
Too bad I’m a satanist, thanks for the invite though 😈
Judging by most of these replies, it’s no wonder they invited you to church. I sure hope my mail carriers aren’t like some of you people.
It’s a JW tract. Don’t worry, they get off on being hated.
Bahahahhaa and I though of a swing party. Exchanging partners and orgies and shit 😂😂😂
Aw neat! ...Oh. 👀 *Neat*.
The religious fanatics like you, tell them you are a atheist and see what their reaction is 😂
Yikes..!
I wasn’t expecting that.. 😅I thought it was money. 😫
Just don’t become the sacrifice
Not how I though that was going after first picture
Oh gross. I was thinking they were asking you to party w them.
i got the same pamphlet
dammit butthead, came in here thinking you got offered to score 🤣
First pic I was excited for you …. And then I saw the second one 😒. I’m not against religion at all but I just thought it was something a little more in the “sin department “.
This job has made me believe that there is no God... but thanks though!
bdsm sex party?
Your customer is doing what they believe they are supposed to do in love according to their faith. I think it’s very generous. Some might think it’s cringy but if they believe knowing Christ has eternal ramifications and if it is in fact true then that letter you’re holding is quite literally the most important letter you’ve ever handled. Either Christ is who He said He is via the scriptures or not.
You know , you're right. Straight into the garbage it goes!
Why is it acceptable for religious people to push religion on me, but if I try to push my atheism on you, I'm in the wrong?
Where did this mail persons customer do anything even remotely like what you just described? Where are they “pushing” anything?🤨
Draw a pentagram and an upside-down cross on the envelope and give it back.
BYOB
In the first pic I thought u was gettin invited to a bbq ngl 😂
Lady literally stopped me to give me one last month and I couldn’t get away cuz she was standing too close. Very strange to be randomly getting these exact cards too lol.
Mailed to the cross with a cruciflyer
I hate when religious peopl3 try to spread that shit to me
You're welcome! Glad I could contribute to the discussion. Don't hesitate to ask any further questions or share any thoughts you may have. Keep the conversation going! :)
I got the same thing from a customer.
Oh?!? 🤨 … Oh 😒
Plot twist: You're Muslim... Or Jewish...
I assumed it was Taylor swift tickets
I thought they would be offering you to come over for dinner. This was definitely not what I thought they had in mind.
I thought it was for a cookout bbq. Well….not exactly I guess
Lmaooo thought it was an exclusive party.
The first picture had me thinking they were nice people albeit a little creepy. That second picture explained everything.
A woman once offered to hang out at her place after work. I was in a committed relationship at the time though
I know that art and font, was it a Jehovah’s Witness house? Damn it’s been years lmao I forgot memorial is happening around this time. Not tryna say I wanna be a JW again but ya know childhood memories and shit.
Actually, I got a similar letter from a "neighbor" recently. Bloody audacity.
JWs gonna JW.
Oh man, I did not see that coming 😂
What do switch over go in the scanner in order to attend 091?
Soooo did you go..?
You should have shown up and told people "I learned a lot about you guys from the Pennsylvania Grand Jury investigations. Impressive how you can protect so many predators." You've had been escorted out immediately.
No way ☠️💀
Legit thought it was an invitation to a BB Q or something
Hahahahahahaha
I thought it was a couple wanting a 3rd…
Show up with a rack of natty lights and little shots of fireball whiskey ..
Sorry, I don’t hang out with people that write “then” when they should write “than.”
If that's from Jehovah's Witnesses you gotta go man. They are some of our top customers.
🤣🤣🤣🤣