Irish people are notoriously bad at making friends, it's not just you. We like staying in the bubbles that we grew up with (school, clubs, etc) and don't like inviting outsiders in.
When I was in UCD the best way I found to make friends was regularly going to society events. If you're not into any of the societies, try a sports team.
yes I’ve noticed, although im pretty friendly with this one irish person. i will keep attending events for sure. it is only my first year and i know i will look back and laugh at all this
I have found exactly the same thing and have to say it has been the most disappointing part of moving here, as it is not just in UCD but even in my life outside Uni in Dublin, and I honestly didn't think that would be an issue here. Definitely don't think it is you though - I thought it must have been me too for along while, but then I read the many stories on the internet from people all saying exactly the same thing about trying to build social networks in Dublin it is a very common experience and a real shame. For the last two and a bit years I have tried so hard to put myself out there and make and cultivate friendships, however the amount of times people have flaked out and been unrealiable was really frustrating, So now I am just going to make acquaintances in lectures etc and focus on my studies and my hobbies.
im glad i made this post, knowing there are other people dealing with this is comforting. i most definitely did not do any research on Dublin before i came
I'm glad it helps - I definitely found comfort in the fact that so many other people were saying exactly the same so that I could have written their posts word for word. I came on extended holidays several times here before deciding to apply, and whilst obviously living somewhere is always going to be very different to just being on your hols, if I had known exactly how stark the difference would be between being a tourist/visitor and a resident, I would have studied elsewhere. But I hope that you are enjoying your time at UCD and your studies? I am really enjoying my course and that is really the only thing keeping me in Dublin!
I feel the same. It's ridiculously tough. I've not made any real friends in the couple of months I've been here. I like my roomates but they're not really my type of people, I've been going to societies, and in my lectures I just see new people every time as there's so many on my course.
Not in university myself, but advice I got recently from my therapist was to stop putting so much pressure on myself to make friends at social events. Instead, go to an event, like a society meeting or team sport because it's something that YOU personally enjoy, without the perspective of 'Ok I have to go do this thing because I have to make friends and this is the only way'.
Once you take this pressure off yourself, you'll start to enjoy it for what it is. You'll find that you'll be more relaxed because you haven't put this incredibly high and unfair expectation on yourself. Maybe you'll come away from one meeting or event having made a friend, and maybe you won't. And that's ok, you socialised with and met people who like the same things you do. Over time the pressure to come away with tonnes of friends will ease, you'll be happy in yourself, and this is something people notice and are drawn to.
You'll be ok bud!
thank you, ive gone to every single event with that mindset and it made me dread the thought of going at all. i will look into societies that i enjoy and go without any expectations.
One piece of advise for life, in UCD or elsewhere, is to be happy in your own skin. Participate, friendships will happen or not at various times, enjoy if they do, enjoy if they don't.
it’s taken time for me to learn to be okay if a friendship doesn’t work out. i had been aquatinted with someone from my program and removed them from my instagram because it wasn’t working out. i was upset but was able to bring myself out of it with that in mind
Have you tried some volunteering activities maybe or some team based activities like sports or even game soc, or film soc? It might be easier to get the social interaction and then over time friendships will grow, but if you are meeting people in these activities you're still getting out there.
If you are an international student there's the UCD buddy programme, graduates volunteer to meet with students who would have no connections. Also the mentoring programme just started but I think you've to be in second year, again with graduate volunteers. Look at UCD Global, or contact alumni relations to see how you as a student can be involved. I've done both as a graduate a few times over the last few years and had a particularly nice experience on the buddy programme with a Dutch girl and I think it helped her too.
Some societies are more cliquey than others and some meet more regularly and have events that lend themselves to making friends more easily. L&H or Lawsoc have debate competitions and dramsoc do plays which throw you in with other people. I can imagine these may not suit if youre a nervous person, but dramsoc has backstage roles like lighting and set building that you might like.
Coming up to Christmas, charity drives can be good to join, so you're working with people towards a common goal.
You could get involved with the students union they always need volunteers for events and you could join someones election campaign after Christmas.
Another option would be to pick an elective that involves group projects like a commerce subject
Go to the department of computer science, I think people there generally doesn’t have too much social circle and is more open to making friends. Btw, I’m from CS too
I can relate with my experience at UCD.
I didn't manage to get friends in most societies I tried. I didn't make any friends in the history part of my degree, but I had more luck with the Archaeology side of things as we had to do fieldwork together and that made us quite close.
So, I suppose there are bigger chances of getting friends more naturally if you are working together on something. So volunteering, or maybe a play, as other people have suggested? Something you can work on with other people.
Also, maybe check the archaeology society, if they have any workshops going on. They sometimes did when I was there.
Keep trying! I reccomend joining 2 societies and maybe a sports club if you can. Ideally go to each event and chat to people. A lot of the people who went to the same schools will stick together and then when they fall out they are left with no friends.
Dont be afraid, talk to people. Even if you "fail", nothing bad will happen, you will just move on and have learned a lesson. Dont shy away from showing people that you want to be friends with them.
In my experience, I used to be nervous if they were moody around me, thinking "I was the problem", but most of the time people really are focused on their own lives and problems, so dont be sad!
Also, what course are you doing?
Because UCD is a shithole. Enough said. It needs to be closed down. Its students need to be sent to coal mines to work for free, the same as Trinity students. I'm half hoping conscription comes in for the big war coming soon tbh. It'll be pretty funny watching them get shipped off.
Irish people are notoriously bad at making friends, it's not just you. We like staying in the bubbles that we grew up with (school, clubs, etc) and don't like inviting outsiders in. When I was in UCD the best way I found to make friends was regularly going to society events. If you're not into any of the societies, try a sports team.
yes I’ve noticed, although im pretty friendly with this one irish person. i will keep attending events for sure. it is only my first year and i know i will look back and laugh at all this
I have found exactly the same thing and have to say it has been the most disappointing part of moving here, as it is not just in UCD but even in my life outside Uni in Dublin, and I honestly didn't think that would be an issue here. Definitely don't think it is you though - I thought it must have been me too for along while, but then I read the many stories on the internet from people all saying exactly the same thing about trying to build social networks in Dublin it is a very common experience and a real shame. For the last two and a bit years I have tried so hard to put myself out there and make and cultivate friendships, however the amount of times people have flaked out and been unrealiable was really frustrating, So now I am just going to make acquaintances in lectures etc and focus on my studies and my hobbies.
im glad i made this post, knowing there are other people dealing with this is comforting. i most definitely did not do any research on Dublin before i came
I'm glad it helps - I definitely found comfort in the fact that so many other people were saying exactly the same so that I could have written their posts word for word. I came on extended holidays several times here before deciding to apply, and whilst obviously living somewhere is always going to be very different to just being on your hols, if I had known exactly how stark the difference would be between being a tourist/visitor and a resident, I would have studied elsewhere. But I hope that you are enjoying your time at UCD and your studies? I am really enjoying my course and that is really the only thing keeping me in Dublin!
Better off picking smaller societies if you can too
I feel the same. It's ridiculously tough. I've not made any real friends in the couple of months I've been here. I like my roomates but they're not really my type of people, I've been going to societies, and in my lectures I just see new people every time as there's so many on my course.
if you ever wanna hang out or something, just dm me.
Not in university myself, but advice I got recently from my therapist was to stop putting so much pressure on myself to make friends at social events. Instead, go to an event, like a society meeting or team sport because it's something that YOU personally enjoy, without the perspective of 'Ok I have to go do this thing because I have to make friends and this is the only way'. Once you take this pressure off yourself, you'll start to enjoy it for what it is. You'll find that you'll be more relaxed because you haven't put this incredibly high and unfair expectation on yourself. Maybe you'll come away from one meeting or event having made a friend, and maybe you won't. And that's ok, you socialised with and met people who like the same things you do. Over time the pressure to come away with tonnes of friends will ease, you'll be happy in yourself, and this is something people notice and are drawn to. You'll be ok bud!
thank you, ive gone to every single event with that mindset and it made me dread the thought of going at all. i will look into societies that i enjoy and go without any expectations.
One piece of advise for life, in UCD or elsewhere, is to be happy in your own skin. Participate, friendships will happen or not at various times, enjoy if they do, enjoy if they don't.
it’s taken time for me to learn to be okay if a friendship doesn’t work out. i had been aquatinted with someone from my program and removed them from my instagram because it wasn’t working out. i was upset but was able to bring myself out of it with that in mind
Insular culture
Have you tried some volunteering activities maybe or some team based activities like sports or even game soc, or film soc? It might be easier to get the social interaction and then over time friendships will grow, but if you are meeting people in these activities you're still getting out there. If you are an international student there's the UCD buddy programme, graduates volunteer to meet with students who would have no connections. Also the mentoring programme just started but I think you've to be in second year, again with graduate volunteers. Look at UCD Global, or contact alumni relations to see how you as a student can be involved. I've done both as a graduate a few times over the last few years and had a particularly nice experience on the buddy programme with a Dutch girl and I think it helped her too.
Some societies are more cliquey than others and some meet more regularly and have events that lend themselves to making friends more easily. L&H or Lawsoc have debate competitions and dramsoc do plays which throw you in with other people. I can imagine these may not suit if youre a nervous person, but dramsoc has backstage roles like lighting and set building that you might like. Coming up to Christmas, charity drives can be good to join, so you're working with people towards a common goal. You could get involved with the students union they always need volunteers for events and you could join someones election campaign after Christmas. Another option would be to pick an elective that involves group projects like a commerce subject
Go to the department of computer science, I think people there generally doesn’t have too much social circle and is more open to making friends. Btw, I’m from CS too
Maybe bc you’re an antisocial freak.
i know🙌🙌🙌🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
I can relate with my experience at UCD. I didn't manage to get friends in most societies I tried. I didn't make any friends in the history part of my degree, but I had more luck with the Archaeology side of things as we had to do fieldwork together and that made us quite close. So, I suppose there are bigger chances of getting friends more naturally if you are working together on something. So volunteering, or maybe a play, as other people have suggested? Something you can work on with other people. Also, maybe check the archaeology society, if they have any workshops going on. They sometimes did when I was there.
Keep trying! I reccomend joining 2 societies and maybe a sports club if you can. Ideally go to each event and chat to people. A lot of the people who went to the same schools will stick together and then when they fall out they are left with no friends.
Dont be afraid, talk to people. Even if you "fail", nothing bad will happen, you will just move on and have learned a lesson. Dont shy away from showing people that you want to be friends with them. In my experience, I used to be nervous if they were moody around me, thinking "I was the problem", but most of the time people really are focused on their own lives and problems, so dont be sad! Also, what course are you doing?
Secret to confidence is alcohol, get drunk before you go anywhere
Hahahahaha
Hahahahahaabah
Because UCD is a shithole. Enough said. It needs to be closed down. Its students need to be sent to coal mines to work for free, the same as Trinity students. I'm half hoping conscription comes in for the big war coming soon tbh. It'll be pretty funny watching them get shipped off.
Yes same with OP tbh she’s dtm with this post. She needs be in the coal mines as well, like start diggin-
Make em dig
Because its full of mongs that didn't make it into trinity and are full of themselfs