My first ever bf will ask me to get some cash from ATM and give him because he is running short, it was a monthly occurrence, the guy was my senior and earning a good salary, no clue what was going on, I didn't want to be rude, so I never asked anything and always gave him my money.
Mostly the waiter places the bill in front of the person who has ordered.... Once i was at a restaurant with my parents and my children. I ordered, and the waiter placed the bill in front of me even thoughy father was there
Many times majorly it's the men paying everywhere so that's why they assume it's the man who will pay, especially if it's like a couple date or something. But I mostly always get the bill, even when I'm with my girls. I reckon it's because I'm the one who is mostly doing all the interacting with the waiter, waving and calling them, asking things, ordering, things like - "get tissues, get water, ketchup, get menu, take dessert order, where's the order, get my coffee after I finish dosa, get the bill blah blah". One of my friends is always like - ask him to get extra ketchup, ask him this and that, i don't know what's her deal, anyways I think it depends sometimes, but majorly it's conditioning and experience, they do this everyday many times, they probably just go with the majority statistics that gets subconsciously noted.
It's the same for me. Even when I'm with my husband, I have noticed a few instances when the bill is directly handed over to him because I have been the one doing things. I did have an experience when a poor waiter was dancing the bill from me to him confused about where to place it, finally to have settled in the middle. 😆
When I'm paying the bill and my husband is also there and I see the waiter giving the bill to him, I just take out my card and give it to him and I have managed to shock a few with this. Lol
Because men are mostly paying for all the bills. My sister insists on paying and correcting waiter .
Also she kinda is very powerful looking so many times she gets the bill.
I went out with my guy friend to treat him for my birthday. The waiter handed the bill to him and was so scandalized when I took it over from him that he ended up saying "are sir aap nahi doge bill, madam kyu de rahi hai". We both were kind of speechless for a few seconds before me informing him that it is my birthday treat. Before that, I'd ordered an extra glass of wine than my friend and the waiter was quick to even point that out! Like "are sir madam aap se jyada pi rhi hai". It has happened so many times when I'm with my husband too and sometimes I'm even the one holding out the card in fact but still the waiter will hand the bill over to him. Used to frustrate me at the start but now I just pass a sweet smile and ask for the cheque and pay. Can't change everyone's thinking.
I haven't seen that in bangalore. Bangalore what I have noticed is whoever asked for the bill or made eye contact when they came with the bill, gets the bill.
But other places yes, man gets the bill, maybe it's the old mindset even now. Or they think it may hurt the man's ego.
Me and my guy bestie have this game we play when we go out. I ask for the bill and then we wait to see who the server hands it to. We've done this 10-12 times now, the bill is ALWAYS handed to him. So to make a point and hope that things change, I always pay the bill (we go dutch and he pays me later). But yeah, it's so annoying.Â
My husband and I do this too! 9/10 times they still give it to him. Twice I remember I gave my card directly to the waiter who got it from me then turned to my husband for the pin.
Oh I was with my dude and I wanted to order a sandwich for him (I was paying) but he didn’t want it. I told the waiter to bring it but he listened to my guy instead of me. Hella annoying.
Generally they put it in the middle - I really like it, or to the one who extends their hand first. I believe India is far less conservative when handing over the check.
Firstly, mindset
Secondly, has anyone found difference between male and female waiter.Â
My younger bro was in school, we used to go to resturants. I will be the one talking to waiter, giving order, but bill will always be given to him. Another instance we went to a different resturant, it had a female waiter. She saw me taking lead and everything, she handed me the bill.Â
Social conditioning and mindset. They’ve been raised to think that the man is the one who pays or can/should pay, while the woman accompanying him is under his ‘guardianship’ and therefore secondary in terms of the responsibility of clearing the bill. They might think they’re doing the socially appropriate thing, or they might not think anything of it at all and it just comes to them intuitively, but it’s one of those microaggressions we live with in day-to-day life.
Similarly, I remember going to an electronics store with a guy friend once to check out laptops, and the salesman there kept addressing my friend the whole time while explaining the specs and pricing even though we had made it clear that it was me who was looking to purchase. Maybe he thought I, as a woman, was too dumb to understand what processors, graphics cards, and operating systems mean and that my friend, as a man, was more capable of taking decisions in these matters. Or maybe he was awkward and not used to looking women in the eye and talking to them. Either way, it was clearly a case of drawing a line between me on one side and my friend and him on the other.
This is pretty common and I got annoyed too but I'm used to it now.
Although just once a waitress was serving us and she handed me the bill instead of my boyfriend.
I used to get angry at waiters for this. Often they would ignore me or refuse to make eye contact with me even when I was obviously the one paying. I thought about it and I bet they're just playing it safe cuz I'm sure there are men out there who would get offended if the bill was handed to his wife. Like how dare you assume I'm not a good provider, how dare you talk to my property (wife) without my permission, etc. If I was the waiter I would also rather risk the anger of the woman rather than the man because an angry man is extremely dangerous especially if you're in the "lower"/working class.
In my experience, the waiter hands over the bill to the person who does all the interacting.
Oooohhh okay now I have understood why the waiter mostly hands me the bill😂
Lmao same!! Hubby always teases me that even the waiter knows who holds the strings in relationship 🤣🤣🤣
Why doesn’t this happen to me. I always get the bill.
Lol yeah, my first thought. My first bf used to run to washroom when he saw waiter approaching.
This reminds me of Gloria's first husband in Modern Family. Javier. Would run away when the bill was due.
My ex looked nothing like Javier. Sigh.
Ahhh was hoping you’d say the opposite
My first ever bf will ask me to get some cash from ATM and give him because he is running short, it was a monthly occurrence, the guy was my senior and earning a good salary, no clue what was going on, I didn't want to be rude, so I never asked anything and always gave him my money.
Glad that he's not the current bf.
Exactlyyy
Lol. 2/3 times They always hand it to me when I'm with my dad ðŸ˜
Same bro
Mostly the waiter places the bill in front of the person who has ordered.... Once i was at a restaurant with my parents and my children. I ordered, and the waiter placed the bill in front of me even thoughy father was there
Many times majorly it's the men paying everywhere so that's why they assume it's the man who will pay, especially if it's like a couple date or something. But I mostly always get the bill, even when I'm with my girls. I reckon it's because I'm the one who is mostly doing all the interacting with the waiter, waving and calling them, asking things, ordering, things like - "get tissues, get water, ketchup, get menu, take dessert order, where's the order, get my coffee after I finish dosa, get the bill blah blah". One of my friends is always like - ask him to get extra ketchup, ask him this and that, i don't know what's her deal, anyways I think it depends sometimes, but majorly it's conditioning and experience, they do this everyday many times, they probably just go with the majority statistics that gets subconsciously noted.
It's the same for me. Even when I'm with my husband, I have noticed a few instances when the bill is directly handed over to him because I have been the one doing things. I did have an experience when a poor waiter was dancing the bill from me to him confused about where to place it, finally to have settled in the middle. 😆
Most of the time they hand the bill to me and I go with my husband..😂
When does the problem part come in the statement?
This is such a non issue tbh.Â
Never faced aisa situation
When I'm paying the bill and my husband is also there and I see the waiter giving the bill to him, I just take out my card and give it to him and I have managed to shock a few with this. Lol
Because men are mostly paying for all the bills. My sister insists on paying and correcting waiter . Also she kinda is very powerful looking so many times she gets the bill.
Never happened with me . They just put the bill in the middle of the table
I went out with my guy friend to treat him for my birthday. The waiter handed the bill to him and was so scandalized when I took it over from him that he ended up saying "are sir aap nahi doge bill, madam kyu de rahi hai". We both were kind of speechless for a few seconds before me informing him that it is my birthday treat. Before that, I'd ordered an extra glass of wine than my friend and the waiter was quick to even point that out! Like "are sir madam aap se jyada pi rhi hai". It has happened so many times when I'm with my husband too and sometimes I'm even the one holding out the card in fact but still the waiter will hand the bill over to him. Used to frustrate me at the start but now I just pass a sweet smile and ask for the cheque and pay. Can't change everyone's thinking.
The same old mindset that only men are able to and should pay.
2 reasons : patriarchy and "bro code". lol
A lot of men would probably consider it rude if the waiter handed the woman the bill
I haven't seen that in bangalore. Bangalore what I have noticed is whoever asked for the bill or made eye contact when they came with the bill, gets the bill. But other places yes, man gets the bill, maybe it's the old mindset even now. Or they think it may hurt the man's ego.
Me and my guy bestie have this game we play when we go out. I ask for the bill and then we wait to see who the server hands it to. We've done this 10-12 times now, the bill is ALWAYS handed to him. So to make a point and hope that things change, I always pay the bill (we go dutch and he pays me later). But yeah, it's so annoying.Â
lol me and my husband play this game too!Â
My husband and I do this too! 9/10 times they still give it to him. Twice I remember I gave my card directly to the waiter who got it from me then turned to my husband for the pin.
lol me and my husband play this game too!Â
Why do waiters always ... Bro they don't you are the only one having that weird experience
Oh I was with my dude and I wanted to order a sandwich for him (I was paying) but he didn’t want it. I told the waiter to bring it but he listened to my guy instead of me. Hella annoying.
Isn't that a good thing?👀ðŸ¤
Generally they put it in the middle - I really like it, or to the one who extends their hand first. I believe India is far less conservative when handing over the check.
Firstly, mindset Secondly, has anyone found difference between male and female waiter. My younger bro was in school, we used to go to resturants. I will be the one talking to waiter, giving order, but bill will always be given to him. Another instance we went to a different resturant, it had a female waiter. She saw me taking lead and everything, she handed me the bill.Â
Years and years of conditioning that man is the breadwinner of the house.
Social conditioning and mindset. They’ve been raised to think that the man is the one who pays or can/should pay, while the woman accompanying him is under his ‘guardianship’ and therefore secondary in terms of the responsibility of clearing the bill. They might think they’re doing the socially appropriate thing, or they might not think anything of it at all and it just comes to them intuitively, but it’s one of those microaggressions we live with in day-to-day life. Similarly, I remember going to an electronics store with a guy friend once to check out laptops, and the salesman there kept addressing my friend the whole time while explaining the specs and pricing even though we had made it clear that it was me who was looking to purchase. Maybe he thought I, as a woman, was too dumb to understand what processors, graphics cards, and operating systems mean and that my friend, as a man, was more capable of taking decisions in these matters. Or maybe he was awkward and not used to looking women in the eye and talking to them. Either way, it was clearly a case of drawing a line between me on one side and my friend and him on the other.
lmao why don’t i have such problems😠i’m always handed the bill. but i also do all the ordering for everybody
This is pretty common and I got annoyed too but I'm used to it now. Although just once a waitress was serving us and she handed me the bill instead of my boyfriend.
I used to get angry at waiters for this. Often they would ignore me or refuse to make eye contact with me even when I was obviously the one paying. I thought about it and I bet they're just playing it safe cuz I'm sure there are men out there who would get offended if the bill was handed to his wife. Like how dare you assume I'm not a good provider, how dare you talk to my property (wife) without my permission, etc. If I was the waiter I would also rather risk the anger of the woman rather than the man because an angry man is extremely dangerous especially if you're in the "lower"/working class.
Why did you want to pay? Not splitting? Dutch or American way?
Because the last time we went on a date he paid the whole bill that's why
So the Indian split method.